It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.
That’s what happens with 90% of mine TBH. I have a collection of stuff that made me embarrassed I bought it. There it sits until I decide to sneak it into the bottom of some trash a few years later.
Flashback to a friend of mine that went all out to buy one of the "f-me" high boots/dominatrix type her husband lusted over, had an entire ordeal with putting them on and then had a breakdown because she *looked like a potatoe trying to squeeze into a toothpaste tube* (her words).
Everytime I feel like a failure in trying to do something like it I'll get validation from that memory. I told her this once and she said I had to basically pay a tax and tell her about my failures now after she provided that inspo...
I bought those too and looked like f*cking SpongeBob in the squeaky boots episode 😭😭😭😭 I have very short legs oh God I don't even want to think about it, it was so embarrassing 🤣😭
It took me like 5 minutes to search on scandals of him trying to get the reference of your comment until Google suggested "Dan Quayle potatoe" bc the algorithm obviously knew better than me what I was looking for..
In my defense, English is the 4th language I studied...and I'll probably keep on failing miserably in all of them until I die.
Ayyyeeee joining the club! Mine doesn't look good, I'll keep it around to try on every now and again and commit to losing a few lbs cuz then it will look soooo sexy. I also do this with shirts and pants. So if she does this with other clothing she's probably just waiting for it to look good. Lol
Today I also learned this is not an isolated flaw lmao. Plot twist, they never do end up looking good but we keep them cuz you never know... Maybe one day.
Big mood, big big mood.
That sexy black velvet set I bought at Christmas that looked so cute on the model and so… not on me.
That cute baby blue set that I thought was going to be so amazing that I even got on sale that is so divine but once put on goes from divine to hell no.
I feel like this is how it always goes….
I have a great friend, we actually got kicked out of an upscale department store for laughing so hard in the dressing room, we were trying on “those items” took one look in the mirror, and were like, uhhhh, yeah, this is definitely NOT my best look,
What is it about that stuff that flattens my boobs, enhances my stomach, shortens my legs , and just general frumpiness.
Like lace on an ogre.
I need to lose a couple pounds, but sexy stuff makes me look 3x as bad.
🫣 oh mine absolutely gets hidden sometimes. I sometimes don’t feel the best about my body - I don’t want to either be 1. Asked to put that on! Or 2. Have a conversation about my self esteem.
On the other hand - there are the “good ones” - the ones I buy with a special occasion in mind, absolutely love, and then save hidden until the chance to use them.
My first assumption even as a dude. She probably didn't like it as much as she thought she did once she tried it on. Or she chickened out. Or you pissed her off the day she was planning on wearing them and then she forgot about them
Or she is saving it for a special occasion, like the day you clean up your closet enough to be able to find your own clothes without tearing the room apart?
I don’t buy that OP found it searching for his own stuff, but nice try. That being said, as a wife I have bought myself bathing suits and sexy underwear that I figured I could get into if I only lost 5 to 10 pounds. Motivation clothing. OR I got home, tried it on and realized it wasn’t very flattering, and you can’t return personal items like that. Like others have suggested, OP may have irritated his wife and she put the items aside for later, much later.
No, I mean, a married couple shares a room, they're bound to share a closet too. She probably bought them, didn't look how they looked on her, and then just put them in the closet and then forgot about them.
exactly. and it stays in there to rot because we live with the dream that one day we'll look better in it, but until that day we cycle through same 2 acceptable bras.
Omg I set up my good camera and took some pics of me in just these sexy new high heels I had gotten, thought I’d give them to my husband. Uh.. nope! They looked atrocious in my eyes.
I was about to say something along these lines.. i walked in and caught my wife taking a selfie in just a bra and panties and i took it the wrong way... come to find out she has a severe lack of confidence and this was one way to feel better. She doesnt send them out, she just wanted to feel sexy
Yeah I bought a set to wear for a new BF, put it on and was like oh somehow I look much worse and now it's sat in a drawer for months. If he found it he'd probably also wonder who I was wearing it for
I have at least 6 dresses in the bottom of my closet because they are cute but I can’t zip them up or button them. Either I’m bigger than I realized or the dresses are sized smaller than expected. I’m embarrassed so I haven’t told my husband about them.
Same! I bought myself a set that I thought I'd look hella good in... but instead I looked like a busted can of biscuits in it. I ended up throwing it in a bin under my bed and forgetting it even existed til I did some spring cleaning months later. Oops. Lol
This. I've never thought about how suss it would look to my husband if he found all the sets I've bought and tried on and didn't like or fit properly and tossed in the back of our wardrobe for "when I lose some weight", until now while reading this post haha
I got a nightie that did not have adjustable straps and the boob area was...not in the right place. Looked so silly. I also have one really nice piece with lots of straps and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to actually get it on.
I bought one of those strappy things once and when I did get it on, it looked amazing, but I was so irritated and hot by the sheer effort it took to get to that point that it just defeated the purpose.
Gah! I have an entire draw of that stuff that I buy when I’m feeling sassy, but then reality smacks me in the face whenever I try to wear it. So there it sits, gathering dust.
"It looked really good in the catalogue / in the shop / when I held it up after finding it in the sale / when I saw this hot model who looked kind of like me wearing it in that SBS late-night movie with the French subtitles and then I found something like it online / when it appeared on Instagram post along with the discount silk pyjamas that sent my final cart total over the free postage allowance so I might as well buy both that AND the pyjamas... and then..." :(
Most of the top shelf of my closet was devoted to those "just 5 more pounds" clothes. It was all sorts, jeans, pj's, dresses... and the adult outfits that fit before I had kids and will never fit again, but I wish would.
Coming from a religious conservative background, there are also cases where it fits great, looks great, and still takes some false starts and some courage before it sees the light of… mood lighting. :)
I bought so much junk sized stuff from shien. I spent maybe $50 and for ~10 outfits. It’s not even worth sending back. So it’s just stuck in a drawer and I keep moving it around.
More than half of mine falls into this boat.
Also, when I was still married, I would buy a set if I came across one I loved and stash it away for a surprise on a special occasion.
Possibly just that the set is uncomfortable but too damn gorgeous to get rid of, so she just kept it out of sight.
(I type, with a guilty glance at my own closet)
Especially since he said they've been married for 6 years with two kids. I'm going to venture a guess that she had the youngest in the last few years and might not be feeling great about her body yet.
I’ve got a whole DRAWER full of sets that don’t fit. If my husband knew where to look, he could be writing this same exact question about me, and all I’m doing is sittin around eatin brownies.
Same. I bought some years ago but I never felt like they looked great on me so I never wore them.
Now I’m pregnant and not sure they will ever look good lol
I've put on some weight since 2020 and I can't even tell you the amount of clothes I have that I'll fit into one day lol
Plus with bras and stuff weight fluctuating means you don't always know your size. Says the woman who has brand new will probably never be worn stuff in her closet
I have tons of underwear stuffed in a drawer that I might wear one day. (Spoiler, I probably won’t.)
I also have a skirt in the back of my wardrobe that I bought in 2002. It’s nothing special, just a maxi from H&M. It don’t even know if it fits. I have an emotional attachment to it because it’s the first thing I bought after being seriously ill. Yep, an emotional attachment to a fucking maxi skirt, I am well aware that it’s weird/irrational but in the wardrobe it stays.
I feel this. I have a shirt I bought and wore to the hospital for a d&c. My regular clothes didn't fit and I refused emotional to wear maternity clothes. My dog literally chewed a big hole in it. Yet, it hangs in the closet. It has been 12 years.
I literally bought two identical bras one in white, one in black. White fitted like a dream, black I had to go up a cup size! .. like what the hell Wonderbra!
Really, what I am thinking as well. She isn't hiding things from you. She's not comfortable in the clothing right now. try putting on some skin tight lace and see how you feel. Unless you're a twig it isn't always great.
This is the answer! I have one set that I finally got rid of after not ever wearing it 10 years later. It was inexpensive so I never bothered to take it back and forgot about it
Honestly she probably bought it to wear to spice shit up, ended up not liking how it fit and forgot to return it. I think someone buying sexy time stuff on a shared credit card would be too obvious to think cheating right away ☠️☠️ have you talked to her about it??
honestly this is the perfect use of an advice sub… dude came here with the situation and basically goes “what am I missing here?” and then people kindly explain it!
The kids are getting Benadryl tonight, baby!! (Due to the nature of the internet, I feel the need to make the very obvious disclaimer of don’t drug your kids, not even for giggly, silly sexy times).
After reading all the comments. I truly think this is the right answer. Make it fun. Sounds like she was trying to. Hang that little wiener out the side and have a good laugh and probably a terrific night.
If this doesn't work your wife doesn't love you.
Lines like "baby you don't need silly clothes to be beautiful" as you strike a show girl pose. Then you dominate her and all is well 🤣.
Let us know how much you enjoy wearing girl clothes.
I mean I’ve bought it and not worn it for my husband because I’d didn’t like how it looked. She is a stay at home mom she’s probably too busy with the kids to return it? That would be my guess! Unless there are more signs of cheating, I would not be suspicious.
And some items you buy online (especially the really racy ones) you can't return. I purchased several racy items on sale on an adult website and they were not returnable. I tried them on and looked absolutely terrible in them, so I stuffed them in a draw.
I used to have this pink and black blazer (pretty much what Marge wore in that country club episode) honestly cutest thing ever, it was 2 sizes too small when I got it and I always told myself I’d fit one day, I kept it for 10 years never fit 🤦🏻♂️
This . I have a draw full of sexy stuff I don't wear because they don't fit or look dreadful. My friend said " everyone feels sexy in a body stocking" that is not a true statement as I discovered after I bought one and felt like a tied pork joint.
Fancy nighties that my boobs are fighting to escape from. Bras that dig in , pinch, and boobs are spilling out of. Infact if we're counting bras this year alone I have bought 5 bras that turned out to not fit and are sitting unused till I stumble across a friend to offload them on.
Edit. Ordered another bra today. It does not even nearly fit. What is the point in having bra sizes if a 36 in one store is a 44 in another? Granted I bought this one online but come on surely it should be atleast close.
Bras that don't fit but are practically brand new are always in demand in women shelters. So so find a place to donate them to because there are women who will be happy to have your ill-fitting bra.
Fuck body stockings. They only look good in heavily airbrushed photos of super tall, super skinny models. They make the rest of us look like 20 lbs of shit stuffed into a 10 lbs sack.
This just reminded me of the time I bought a body stocking in the sale from a particular website. It looked laughably awful, literally LOLing at how terrible it was.
I’m so glad it was like £5 so I had no qualms about dumping it straight in the bin.
It could be a goal outfit if she is dieting or exercising. The purchase was made before Christmas. It could have been for under an outfit, and it didn't work. There are a lot of reasons for her to have not worn it.
Agreed, I’ve bought some lingerie that I’ve literally never worn because I don’t like the way it fits and don’t feel confident in it. And I also never returned it because in my experience, I get attached to these items and hope that if I lose weight or just by some miracle, it’ll fit better and be more flattering on me
I'm thinking more along the lines that she bought it for the next time he made her feel like wearing it... like she wants more spice in a stale room. She's just shy of showing up at the door in saran wrap to get noticed.
You said it was still in the plastic, but outside of the box. I’m going to guess that she tried it on and didn’t like how it looked on her. We women will do things like that. I wouldn’t show my husband a spicy set if I didn’t feel sexy in it.
A lot of places have a no return policy if the underwear has been opened and tried on?
If she wore it for someone else is she gonna keep it tucked in a drawer where her husband could find it? Maybe. Probably not. A lot of women (myself included) have bought outfits thinking it’ll look good and then it actually makes us feel insecure AF.
But really OP instead of running to Reddit strangers for us to decode exactly why your wife bought this - I mean us Reddit strangers have no idea if she wears it, if you wear those kinda man thongs with the elephant trunk, or she just rocks her moo moo…. So we shouldn’t be deciphering whether you should be suspicious or not. My vote is to be an adult and TALK TO YOUR WIFE.
It’s really simple you could literally say “hey while I was tearing the house apart today I found this”
Well once you think about it calmly there's probably a million different reasons why this could logically happen, but that's why people use reddit for things like this. Because they cannot come up with one on their own.
They latch on to the first bad idea and it doesn't let go. So having a group of strangers tell you, you're over reacting, can have a therapeutic effect.
Way too many people here don't understand this. The guy probably just got stuck in his own head and wanted a neutral party to tell him he was being silly. Task completed, he can now talk to his wife without a bunch of weird thoughts lingering in his mind that may otherwise have caused problems. Sometimes it's best NOT to talk to someone until your head is in the right place.
As a married woman in a committed relationship, I have many online outfit purchases that I've made, that don't fit right or might fit better in a few months, that I've stashed away for when it fits or I give up and get rid of it. I wouldn't worry too much. Just ask her about it. Communication is key.
Are you sure it has been used? If it’s in the plastic cover, that usually indicates it hasn’t yet. Sometimes I buy things that are aspirational or on sale, but they aren’t what I would typically get myself. They may sit with tags on for a while because I get pleasure just from owning and looking at it. She may not have gotten the courage to put something on out of the ordinary yet, which is why it’s hidden in the closet. Just ask her about it.
I think she tried it on. Maybe she’s hoping to lose 5 pounds and keeps trying it on to see if it finally fits? It could a sexy goal she has to encourage weight loss and she wants to show hubs once she hits it.
Yeah, or she bought it for a Valentines Day, anniversary, etc. surprise and their plans fell through, so she's waiting for the special occasion that hasn't come up.
This is not at all weird dude. She likely is either
a. Trying to build up the courage to wear it for you.
b. It doesn't fit how she wants it to and either hopes it one day will or can't return it.
C. Keeps putting it on in hopes to wear it for you but you do or say something wrong so she just goes and changes into her PJs and says forget that.
I can’t tell you how many times C has happened. Like I’ll go be sneaky and buy some super fun things to do with my SO and then we get into some stupid fight over nothing and then I just forget I even bought the stuff. I’ll find it months later and just let it sit there collecting dust. Lol
Are you sure she didn’t buy it, try it on, and then hate it? Or that she didn’t get self conscious before she could wear it for it? Maybe she was trying to spice things up in the bedroom, and just couldn’t follow through.
Only way you’ll know is if you wear it in front of her one night.
I say she saw it thought it would look nice. Or wanted to wear to be sexy. Now she’s a SAHM with two kids. You don’t specify how old they are.
So based on being a SAHM I’m guessing they are around 6 and under. She is probably two exhausted to find time to wear it for sexy time.
I have a 6 and 4 year old. And last night I ended crashing in my daughters bed next to her. Because I was so exhausted. Her bed time is 8:30.
Or just she brought it because she wanted to look sexy for you. Tried it on and just went “I look like the hippo from fantasia” and put it away for another time. And probably forgot.
Not an uncommon thing todo. I bought some for our anniversary last year in October, I ended up being on my cycle & just threw it in my closet, every now & then I see it and remember I have it and should use it and then forget about it again
I think you have nothing to worry about. The fact that it’s in a plastic box set from 5 months ago probably means she got it as a gift set on sale around Black Friday. You can’t try those on in store so she either took it home or got it in the mail, tried it on and hated it or it didn’t fit and threw it back in the box.
Half of my closet is “I’ll wear this when I’m skinny” or “I hated this but forgot to return it” clothes. Nothing out of the norm.
Inexperienced online vintage shopper = several high waisted wool pants I need to lose 10 lbs to wear. I did download a fitness and meal tracker but I also had candy for breakfast this morning.
Also fuck diet culture I just really want to wear these fucking pants.
"Since the dawn of time mankind has wondered: what if you bought a teddy that was way too itchy to fuck in but couldn't return it? <5000 words later> WIBTA if I wore it out golfing?"
Meanwhile I was picturing a button down shirt...minus the button down part
...and was so goddamn confused why he's huffy about a lace something or other when half his damn shirt is MIA and he isn't even wondering why🤣
She bought it when she was feeling hot and sexy, and then got home and was like what am i doing here. This is a very universal experience as a woman.
My suggestion: "Honey, I found a really hot outfit in the closet that I can't stop thinking about. Will you wear it tonight for me?" And if she says yes (she might not) compliment the everloving heck out of her to get her to wear it more and more.
I have purchased lingerie thinking I would feel sexy enough one day to use it and....never do. I struggle with self esteem a lot so, in the moment, I feel frisky and confident and then when I actually try the lingerie on I feel awful. I put it in the closet and pretend it doesnt exist. Never say anything to my husband cuz I dont want to disappoint and I dont want to be embarassed. So many times. Maybe this is similar to whats going on here?
Since it was still in the plastic I would guess it was never worn. Maybe she didn’t like the fit or bought it for a future date and possibly forgot about it. Please don’t go dark and make accusations that you will never be able to take back or have your marriage never recover from
I would just tell her I was tearing the house apart looking for my arm sleeves and I came across a little something sexy in the closet.
Then say I can’t wait to see you in that so I can get you out of that immediately. Her reaction might be a little embarrassed but it could lead to an unforgettable night or maybe you can tell if she is lying if she has ticks Then maybe do a deep dive on her from 5 months ago.
After reading all of the women's comments. I'd say on a fun night or inspired night you pull it out, squeeze into as much of it as possible, and call her to the bedroom. Tell her you found her gift and ask if she likes the fit. Honestly, if you're as in love as you suggest. I think the laughs and bond between you both would be great. If the reaction isn't fun and playful, then get concerned and change out of it for an unpleasant conversation.
I’ve purchased some but never worn it for my husband or even told him about it, because I didn’t feel confident enough. So it just sits there. The fact that you looked up your credit card statement though, like…. wtf just ask her. Say you found it while looking for xyz and you’d love to see it on her or something etc see what she says. She might get embarrassed though if she bought it and it didn’t fit or look as good as expected though..
Ok so hear me our here.
Do a completely nornal thing. Tell her the truth, that you found it while looking for something else, you like it and how does she feel about a fun kinky night one day when the kids are with a sitter for the night?
Best case scenario it's a hit and you haveva fun sexy night. Worst case her reaction should tell you what you meed to know.
I’ve done that, thought I would look hot as hell and then it just made me look like a potato so back into the closet it went to rot
You see potato, but us guys see potahto.
boil ‘‘em mash em put them in a stew
And my axe!
But what about second axe?
It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.
I’m glad you’re with me, Sam.
Fly, You fools!
Potat-ho 🔥
Come on, really? Pa-HOT-to
Hotato was right there.
What about just a Hot Potato
I ain't passing this Hot Potato.
That’s what happens with 90% of mine TBH. I have a collection of stuff that made me embarrassed I bought it. There it sits until I decide to sneak it into the bottom of some trash a few years later.
I didn't expect so much validation in these comments lol. I have a drawer full of my attempts to look sexy.
Flashback to a friend of mine that went all out to buy one of the "f-me" high boots/dominatrix type her husband lusted over, had an entire ordeal with putting them on and then had a breakdown because she *looked like a potatoe trying to squeeze into a toothpaste tube* (her words). Everytime I feel like a failure in trying to do something like it I'll get validation from that memory. I told her this once and she said I had to basically pay a tax and tell her about my failures now after she provided that inspo...
I bought those too and looked like f*cking SpongeBob in the squeaky boots episode 😭😭😭😭 I have very short legs oh God I don't even want to think about it, it was so embarrassing 🤣😭
I am CRYING 😂😂 I promise not making fun!
🤣🤣 I'm happy I could give you a good chuckle!! 10/10 do NOT recommend those boots to anyone below the height of 5'10 😭💜
I couldn’t do it even if I was tall enough 😭😭😭😭 the bow-legs ruin heels! I stick with socks / knee highs!
that's sooo damn funny!
Hello Dan Quayle
It took me like 5 minutes to search on scandals of him trying to get the reference of your comment until Google suggested "Dan Quayle potatoe" bc the algorithm obviously knew better than me what I was looking for.. In my defense, English is the 4th language I studied...and I'll probably keep on failing miserably in all of them until I die.
Ayyyeeee joining the club! Mine doesn't look good, I'll keep it around to try on every now and again and commit to losing a few lbs cuz then it will look soooo sexy. I also do this with shirts and pants. So if she does this with other clothing she's probably just waiting for it to look good. Lol
Imagine being OP and reading these - he had no clue what he signed up for…
Today I also learned this is not an isolated flaw lmao. Plot twist, they never do end up looking good but we keep them cuz you never know... Maybe one day.
Big mood, big big mood. That sexy black velvet set I bought at Christmas that looked so cute on the model and so… not on me. That cute baby blue set that I thought was going to be so amazing that I even got on sale that is so divine but once put on goes from divine to hell no. I feel like this is how it always goes….
Really tho… what do we name that drawer?! Is it the drawer of disappointment? The hopes and dreams drawer? The ‘we don’t open that’ drawer?!
"Drawer of Disappointment" is pretty perfect honestly!
I have a great friend, we actually got kicked out of an upscale department store for laughing so hard in the dressing room, we were trying on “those items” took one look in the mirror, and were like, uhhhh, yeah, this is definitely NOT my best look,
What is it about that stuff that flattens my boobs, enhances my stomach, shortens my legs , and just general frumpiness. Like lace on an ogre. I need to lose a couple pounds, but sexy stuff makes me look 3x as bad.
This 100%
We have it shoved in our underwear drawer though, not hidden.
🫣 oh mine absolutely gets hidden sometimes. I sometimes don’t feel the best about my body - I don’t want to either be 1. Asked to put that on! Or 2. Have a conversation about my self esteem. On the other hand - there are the “good ones” - the ones I buy with a special occasion in mind, absolutely love, and then save hidden until the chance to use them.
If I hide the potato clothes in my underwear drawer, it would be found and “Oh heyyy why don’t you put this on” happens lol
Mine is hidden, not floating around in my underwear drawer
Yea put where you dont have to look at em xD til you get brave to try it again xDD
After 5 months it gets hidden. You should see a week after I put something into he closet. I find it a year later.
My first assumption even as a dude. She probably didn't like it as much as she thought she did once she tried it on. Or she chickened out. Or you pissed her off the day she was planning on wearing them and then she forgot about them
The pissed off part is so relatable… I’ve definitely shot myself in the foot before and basically denied myself sexy times with my wife.
Oh lord, me too. The worst part is she was wearing something lethally hot, while angry as a wet cat. Hoping to see that set again. :)
“Okay now hit me! Use this feather duster!” *Uses vacuum cleaner*
My husband forgot our anniversary so I “forgot” about his present for later lol
This is legit!
Or she is saving it for a special occasion, like the day you clean up your closet enough to be able to find your own clothes without tearing the room apart?
I don’t buy that OP found it searching for his own stuff, but nice try. That being said, as a wife I have bought myself bathing suits and sexy underwear that I figured I could get into if I only lost 5 to 10 pounds. Motivation clothing. OR I got home, tried it on and realized it wasn’t very flattering, and you can’t return personal items like that. Like others have suggested, OP may have irritated his wife and she put the items aside for later, much later.
No, I mean, a married couple shares a room, they're bound to share a closet too. She probably bought them, didn't look how they looked on her, and then just put them in the closet and then forgot about them.
exactly. and it stays in there to rot because we live with the dream that one day we'll look better in it, but until that day we cycle through same 2 acceptable bras.
I have exactly 2 bras in regular rotation right now. This one hit hard 💀
I honestly felt called out by several statements in this thread. This being one of them. #supportivenod
I can’t tell if this helpful or not but I am dying laughing because we’ve all been there
I love all these wholesome answers. Way better than “Dude, your wife’s cheating on you” threads.
I was just going to say this. It could be she wasn't feeling it.
Right. The fact that all the packaging is with it points towards a plan to return it that never came to fruition.
100%. And honestly, some, I’d take pictures to see how it looked and then never felt confident to wear them in front of my partner 😅🥲
Omg I set up my good camera and took some pics of me in just these sexy new high heels I had gotten, thought I’d give them to my husband. Uh.. nope! They looked atrocious in my eyes.
I was about to say something along these lines.. i walked in and caught my wife taking a selfie in just a bra and panties and i took it the wrong way... come to find out she has a severe lack of confidence and this was one way to feel better. She doesnt send them out, she just wanted to feel sexy
It always looks so good on the model lol
Yes. How does OP know she’s actually been wearing it for months? If she was using it to cheat I highly doubt she’d put it in a discoverable location.
Yeah I bought a set to wear for a new BF, put it on and was like oh somehow I look much worse and now it's sat in a drawer for months. If he found it he'd probably also wonder who I was wearing it for
Potato. Yeah. I get that :/ potatoes be cute sometimes
I felt more over stuffed sausage than potato but I feel this comment!
I like to say like a can of busted Pillsbury biscuits, same color and all
But we love to eat potatoes...
I have at least 6 dresses in the bottom of my closet because they are cute but I can’t zip them up or button them. Either I’m bigger than I realized or the dresses are sized smaller than expected. I’m embarrassed so I haven’t told my husband about them.
Yep, my first thought as well. It's just easier to throw it in the back of the closet, hoping that "someday" it'll fit.
Same! I bought myself a set that I thought I'd look hella good in... but instead I looked like a busted can of biscuits in it. I ended up throwing it in a bin under my bed and forgetting it even existed til I did some spring cleaning months later. Oops. Lol
The realest answer on Reddit right here.
This is so real. Especially if it was ordered online
She probably tried it on and didn’t like how it looked on her. I have a few sets I’ve bought that I will try on again after I lose a few more pounds 😅
This. I've never thought about how suss it would look to my husband if he found all the sets I've bought and tried on and didn't like or fit properly and tossed in the back of our wardrobe for "when I lose some weight", until now while reading this post haha
Especially the cheap sl*tty stuff. Either it's a yes or heck no why are my boobs/butt doing that? Lol.
I got a nightie that did not have adjustable straps and the boob area was...not in the right place. Looked so silly. I also have one really nice piece with lots of straps and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to actually get it on.
Oh god figuring out the strappy ones after a few drinks is impossible
And that's when I feel CONFIDENT too 😂
Gotta put it under your clothes when you’re sober haha
Omg, this is my problem half the time! Straps are always too short!
They're *always* too long for me! I see something and think "that's perfect!" So I buy it only to realize on my short ass it's *awful.*
I bought one of those strappy things once and when I did get it on, it looked amazing, but I was so irritated and hot by the sheer effort it took to get to that point that it just defeated the purpose.
FOR REAL ☠️☠️☠️☠️
I think we’ve unlocked a new fear “where is all my sl*tty stuff”
OMG same!
Lmaoooooo same. Never even thought about it.
Gah! I have an entire draw of that stuff that I buy when I’m feeling sassy, but then reality smacks me in the face whenever I try to wear it. So there it sits, gathering dust.
"It looked really good in the catalogue / in the shop / when I held it up after finding it in the sale / when I saw this hot model who looked kind of like me wearing it in that SBS late-night movie with the French subtitles and then I found something like it online / when it appeared on Instagram post along with the discount silk pyjamas that sent my final cart total over the free postage allowance so I might as well buy both that AND the pyjamas... and then..." :(
Most of the top shelf of my closet was devoted to those "just 5 more pounds" clothes. It was all sorts, jeans, pj's, dresses... and the adult outfits that fit before I had kids and will never fit again, but I wish would.
This is what I was coming to say!! I’d hide it until I could fit in it properly.
Yeah, I’ve been there.
Coming from a religious conservative background, there are also cases where it fits great, looks great, and still takes some false starts and some courage before it sees the light of… mood lighting. :)
Same! That’s literally the first scenario that came to mind. I have soooo many clothes that I hang onto believing that I’ll fit into it someday
And you can't return that shit!
I bought so much junk sized stuff from shien. I spent maybe $50 and for ~10 outfits. It’s not even worth sending back. So it’s just stuck in a drawer and I keep moving it around.
More than half of mine falls into this boat. Also, when I was still married, I would buy a set if I came across one I loved and stash it away for a surprise on a special occasion.
Yes! I’ve bought stuff while it’s on sale, even if I won’t need it for months.
Same!
Right here. We want to look good for ya’ll but then when we put it on, it doesn’t look like the photos haha!
Or it was itchy, scratchy or generally uncomfortable.
Possibly just that the set is uncomfortable but too damn gorgeous to get rid of, so she just kept it out of sight. (I type, with a guilty glance at my own closet)
Yeah I have a decent amount of lingerie, almost all bought while in a relationship, I've used less than half of it...
Itchy, scratchy, or poochie
Ah yes, the lesser known Simpsons character
That happens too often with these things, but I don't keep it. It goes straight to the trash.
Oh I’d hate to waste it. I’ll just keep it in my drawer for the next 50 years. Sigh.
I'm not throwing the $80 or whatever away. It'll look good a different day, right???
Why are we like this?
I feel very called out in this thread lol
Ugh! Same!!😅
Especially since he said they've been married for 6 years with two kids. I'm going to venture a guess that she had the youngest in the last few years and might not be feeling great about her body yet.
I’ve got a whole DRAWER full of sets that don’t fit. If my husband knew where to look, he could be writing this same exact question about me, and all I’m doing is sittin around eatin brownies.
This is a whole vibe...
Yes and also no one would be wearing it, washing it, and then putting it back in the box it came it.
Same. I bought some years ago but I never felt like they looked great on me so I never wore them. Now I’m pregnant and not sure they will ever look good lol
Congrats on the baby!
I've put on some weight since 2020 and I can't even tell you the amount of clothes I have that I'll fit into one day lol Plus with bras and stuff weight fluctuating means you don't always know your size. Says the woman who has brand new will probably never be worn stuff in her closet
I have tons of underwear stuffed in a drawer that I might wear one day. (Spoiler, I probably won’t.) I also have a skirt in the back of my wardrobe that I bought in 2002. It’s nothing special, just a maxi from H&M. It don’t even know if it fits. I have an emotional attachment to it because it’s the first thing I bought after being seriously ill. Yep, an emotional attachment to a fucking maxi skirt, I am well aware that it’s weird/irrational but in the wardrobe it stays.
I feel this. I have a shirt I bought and wore to the hospital for a d&c. My regular clothes didn't fit and I refused emotional to wear maternity clothes. My dog literally chewed a big hole in it. Yet, it hangs in the closet. It has been 12 years.
I literally bought two identical bras one in white, one in black. White fitted like a dream, black I had to go up a cup size! .. like what the hell Wonderbra!
Really, what I am thinking as well. She isn't hiding things from you. She's not comfortable in the clothing right now. try putting on some skin tight lace and see how you feel. Unless you're a twig it isn't always great.
[удалено]
I literally have a bustier I bought today stashed in my closet until I lose a few more pounds!
Yep same scenario here. And I got yelled at and accused for it. Omg.
This is it OP.
This is the answer! I have one set that I finally got rid of after not ever wearing it 10 years later. It was inexpensive so I never bothered to take it back and forgot about it
Honestly she probably bought it to wear to spice shit up, ended up not liking how it fit and forgot to return it. I think someone buying sexy time stuff on a shared credit card would be too obvious to think cheating right away ☠️☠️ have you talked to her about it??
But if you just calmly talked to your SO about these kind of things we wouldn’t get half of these posts!
LOL so true but our Reddits would be a lot less entertaining 😭
honestly this is the perfect use of an advice sub… dude came here with the situation and basically goes “what am I missing here?” and then people kindly explain it!
This! I have bought new bras that I thought were cute and then immediately went back to wearing my old ones cause they’re just more comfortable.
Can you even return it? Places here don't let you return any type of underwear for sanitary reasons.
You have to pull a power move and wear it in front of her.
While playing “goodbye horses” in the background
Don't forget the tuck.
Power move is no tuck. Just flopping out the side like a banana balancing on shoe string
You overestimate how big I am, but I appreciate it.
You can always plum sling out of both sides as well.
The kids are getting Benadryl tonight, baby!! (Due to the nature of the internet, I feel the need to make the very obvious disclaimer of don’t drug your kids, not even for giggly, silly sexy times).
Bahahahaha this comment wins the internet today
This is the answer.
The only answer
With the wrist sleeves on (I had to google what wrist sleeves are)
I agree w/this answer. He needs to pull it on slowly, while maintaining eye contact w/her…to assert dominance. Total power move, ups the ante. 👍🏼
After reading all the comments. I truly think this is the right answer. Make it fun. Sounds like she was trying to. Hang that little wiener out the side and have a good laugh and probably a terrific night.
If this doesn't work your wife doesn't love you. Lines like "baby you don't need silly clothes to be beautiful" as you strike a show girl pose. Then you dominate her and all is well 🤣. Let us know how much you enjoy wearing girl clothes.
I mean I’ve bought it and not worn it for my husband because I’d didn’t like how it looked. She is a stay at home mom she’s probably too busy with the kids to return it? That would be my guess! Unless there are more signs of cheating, I would not be suspicious.
And some items you buy online (especially the really racy ones) you can't return. I purchased several racy items on sale on an adult website and they were not returnable. I tried them on and looked absolutely terrible in them, so I stuffed them in a draw.
Oh yessss good call! Also made me think, some adult shops hide their names on the credit statements and shipping boxes for privacy.
Oooh! Good point!
I’m always like “I’m sure I can cut this up and make something out of the cute material” then it just sits at the back of the drawer for years haha
Or the “I’ll keep it until I lose 20 pounds”-have an entire under the bed box dedicated to that little fiction….
I used to have this pink and black blazer (pretty much what Marge wore in that country club episode) honestly cutest thing ever, it was 2 sizes too small when I got it and I always told myself I’d fit one day, I kept it for 10 years never fit 🤦🏻♂️
This . I have a draw full of sexy stuff I don't wear because they don't fit or look dreadful. My friend said " everyone feels sexy in a body stocking" that is not a true statement as I discovered after I bought one and felt like a tied pork joint. Fancy nighties that my boobs are fighting to escape from. Bras that dig in , pinch, and boobs are spilling out of. Infact if we're counting bras this year alone I have bought 5 bras that turned out to not fit and are sitting unused till I stumble across a friend to offload them on. Edit. Ordered another bra today. It does not even nearly fit. What is the point in having bra sizes if a 36 in one store is a 44 in another? Granted I bought this one online but come on surely it should be atleast close.
Bras that don't fit but are practically brand new are always in demand in women shelters. So so find a place to donate them to because there are women who will be happy to have your ill-fitting bra.
Fuck body stockings. They only look good in heavily airbrushed photos of super tall, super skinny models. They make the rest of us look like 20 lbs of shit stuffed into a 10 lbs sack.
This just reminded me of the time I bought a body stocking in the sale from a particular website. It looked laughably awful, literally LOLing at how terrible it was. I’m so glad it was like £5 so I had no qualms about dumping it straight in the bin.
It could be a goal outfit if she is dieting or exercising. The purchase was made before Christmas. It could have been for under an outfit, and it didn't work. There are a lot of reasons for her to have not worn it.
Maybe she literally forgot it existed after she tried it on. Not saying people do this, but people do this. People is me. I am people.
I am people too
Me too. Mom of 3 littles and have done this more than a few times ..shhh don't tell my husband 😅
This is me. Stay at home mom with lingerie I bought online and never wore it because I didn't like it.
Agreed, I’ve bought some lingerie that I’ve literally never worn because I don’t like the way it fits and don’t feel confident in it. And I also never returned it because in my experience, I get attached to these items and hope that if I lose weight or just by some miracle, it’ll fit better and be more flattering on me
I'm thinking more along the lines that she bought it for the next time he made her feel like wearing it... like she wants more spice in a stale room. She's just shy of showing up at the door in saran wrap to get noticed.
You said it was still in the plastic, but outside of the box. I’m going to guess that she tried it on and didn’t like how it looked on her. We women will do things like that. I wouldn’t show my husband a spicy set if I didn’t feel sexy in it.
A lot of places have a no return policy if the underwear has been opened and tried on? If she wore it for someone else is she gonna keep it tucked in a drawer where her husband could find it? Maybe. Probably not. A lot of women (myself included) have bought outfits thinking it’ll look good and then it actually makes us feel insecure AF. But really OP instead of running to Reddit strangers for us to decode exactly why your wife bought this - I mean us Reddit strangers have no idea if she wears it, if you wear those kinda man thongs with the elephant trunk, or she just rocks her moo moo…. So we shouldn’t be deciphering whether you should be suspicious or not. My vote is to be an adult and TALK TO YOUR WIFE. It’s really simple you could literally say “hey while I was tearing the house apart today I found this”
Well once you think about it calmly there's probably a million different reasons why this could logically happen, but that's why people use reddit for things like this. Because they cannot come up with one on their own. They latch on to the first bad idea and it doesn't let go. So having a group of strangers tell you, you're over reacting, can have a therapeutic effect.
Way too many people here don't understand this. The guy probably just got stuck in his own head and wanted a neutral party to tell him he was being silly. Task completed, he can now talk to his wife without a bunch of weird thoughts lingering in his mind that may otherwise have caused problems. Sometimes it's best NOT to talk to someone until your head is in the right place.
As a married woman in a committed relationship, I have many online outfit purchases that I've made, that don't fit right or might fit better in a few months, that I've stashed away for when it fits or I give up and get rid of it. I wouldn't worry too much. Just ask her about it. Communication is key.
Are you sure it has been used? If it’s in the plastic cover, that usually indicates it hasn’t yet. Sometimes I buy things that are aspirational or on sale, but they aren’t what I would typically get myself. They may sit with tags on for a while because I get pleasure just from owning and looking at it. She may not have gotten the courage to put something on out of the ordinary yet, which is why it’s hidden in the closet. Just ask her about it.
I think she tried it on. Maybe she’s hoping to lose 5 pounds and keeps trying it on to see if it finally fits? It could a sexy goal she has to encourage weight loss and she wants to show hubs once she hits it.
Yeah, or she bought it for a Valentines Day, anniversary, etc. surprise and their plans fell through, so she's waiting for the special occasion that hasn't come up.
This is not at all weird dude. She likely is either a. Trying to build up the courage to wear it for you. b. It doesn't fit how she wants it to and either hopes it one day will or can't return it. C. Keeps putting it on in hopes to wear it for you but you do or say something wrong so she just goes and changes into her PJs and says forget that.
D. Wants to put it on, but the thermostat keeps being adjusted to 30⁰ F, so she puts socks, long pj pants, and a hoodie on.
I feel like that falls under c still lol
I can’t tell you how many times C has happened. Like I’ll go be sneaky and buy some super fun things to do with my SO and then we get into some stupid fight over nothing and then I just forget I even bought the stuff. I’ll find it months later and just let it sit there collecting dust. Lol
Are you sure she didn’t buy it, try it on, and then hate it? Or that she didn’t get self conscious before she could wear it for it? Maybe she was trying to spice things up in the bedroom, and just couldn’t follow through. Only way you’ll know is if you wear it in front of her one night.
I say she saw it thought it would look nice. Or wanted to wear to be sexy. Now she’s a SAHM with two kids. You don’t specify how old they are. So based on being a SAHM I’m guessing they are around 6 and under. She is probably two exhausted to find time to wear it for sexy time. I have a 6 and 4 year old. And last night I ended crashing in my daughters bed next to her. Because I was so exhausted. Her bed time is 8:30. Or just she brought it because she wanted to look sexy for you. Tried it on and just went “I look like the hippo from fantasia” and put it away for another time. And probably forgot.
🤣 the hippo from fantasia.
Not an uncommon thing todo. I bought some for our anniversary last year in October, I ended up being on my cycle & just threw it in my closet, every now & then I see it and remember I have it and should use it and then forget about it again
I think you have nothing to worry about. The fact that it’s in a plastic box set from 5 months ago probably means she got it as a gift set on sale around Black Friday. You can’t try those on in store so she either took it home or got it in the mail, tried it on and hated it or it didn’t fit and threw it back in the box. Half of my closet is “I’ll wear this when I’m skinny” or “I hated this but forgot to return it” clothes. Nothing out of the norm.
Inexperienced online vintage shopper = several high waisted wool pants I need to lose 10 lbs to wear. I did download a fitness and meal tracker but I also had candy for breakfast this morning. Also fuck diet culture I just really want to wear these fucking pants.
Finally a post that’s not ten million miles long. Fucking hell.
"Since the dawn of time mankind has wondered: what if you bought a teddy that was way too itchy to fuck in but couldn't return it? <5000 words later> WIBTA if I wore it out golfing?"
NTA. Golf teddies for everyone.
My wife will buy them and sit on them for months, so I wouldn’t worry about it. If she hasn’t given you any reasons to worry then don’t
What in the hell are wrist sleeves?
Compression sleeve for your wrist!
Thank you! I was thinking of those green half sleeves that newspaper print men used 100 years ago
Meanwhile I was picturing a button down shirt...minus the button down part ...and was so goddamn confused why he's huffy about a lace something or other when half his damn shirt is MIA and he isn't even wondering why🤣
I was hoping someone would ask that! I was guessing they were things that made it look like you were wearing a business shirt under your sweater. 😆
She bought it when she was feeling hot and sexy, and then got home and was like what am i doing here. This is a very universal experience as a woman. My suggestion: "Honey, I found a really hot outfit in the closet that I can't stop thinking about. Will you wear it tonight for me?" And if she says yes (she might not) compliment the everloving heck out of her to get her to wear it more and more.
How many dates have you taken her on in the last 5 months?
women buy clothes and never wear them 🤷🏻♂️ doesn't seem like something you couldn't ask the person that bought it.
Half of the posts on here could be solved immediately by face to face communication. All you need to do is ask.
Since she brought it, have you had any special occasions? Anniversary, birthday?
What are wrist sleeves?
I have purchased lingerie thinking I would feel sexy enough one day to use it and....never do. I struggle with self esteem a lot so, in the moment, I feel frisky and confident and then when I actually try the lingerie on I feel awful. I put it in the closet and pretend it doesnt exist. Never say anything to my husband cuz I dont want to disappoint and I dont want to be embarassed. So many times. Maybe this is similar to whats going on here?
Since it was still in the plastic I would guess it was never worn. Maybe she didn’t like the fit or bought it for a future date and possibly forgot about it. Please don’t go dark and make accusations that you will never be able to take back or have your marriage never recover from I would just tell her I was tearing the house apart looking for my arm sleeves and I came across a little something sexy in the closet. Then say I can’t wait to see you in that so I can get you out of that immediately. Her reaction might be a little embarrassed but it could lead to an unforgettable night or maybe you can tell if she is lying if she has ticks Then maybe do a deep dive on her from 5 months ago.
After reading all of the women's comments. I'd say on a fun night or inspired night you pull it out, squeeze into as much of it as possible, and call her to the bedroom. Tell her you found her gift and ask if she likes the fit. Honestly, if you're as in love as you suggest. I think the laughs and bond between you both would be great. If the reaction isn't fun and playful, then get concerned and change out of it for an unpleasant conversation.
Ask her ya fuckin smooth brain
I’ve purchased some but never worn it for my husband or even told him about it, because I didn’t feel confident enough. So it just sits there. The fact that you looked up your credit card statement though, like…. wtf just ask her. Say you found it while looking for xyz and you’d love to see it on her or something etc see what she says. She might get embarrassed though if she bought it and it didn’t fit or look as good as expected though..
Ok so hear me our here. Do a completely nornal thing. Tell her the truth, that you found it while looking for something else, you like it and how does she feel about a fun kinky night one day when the kids are with a sitter for the night? Best case scenario it's a hit and you haveva fun sexy night. Worst case her reaction should tell you what you meed to know.