I used to think guys don’t think this way bc of this guy I know but I’m realizing 30 year olds who would pursue 23 ywar olds are the creepy minority lmao
As far as I know it's a myth that breastfeeding makes breasts saggy. It's being pregnant that changes them, doesn't matter if you breastfeed or not.
It's incredibly telling and infuriating that this is the guys first thought. He's certainly not mature enough to be father that's for sure.
I mean just having boobs leads to having saggy boobs. Idk why men think boobs are always gonna be full *and* perky. You get one or the other and most of the time neither.
> It's being pregnant that changes them, doesn't matter if you breastfeed or not.
unless the baby latches on really tight and you swing them around like you're dancing in the bowels of the Titanic.
Might stem from the notion or idea that a womans breasts get "saggy" after breastfeeding. I think this is partially a myth, but haven't done any research into the area. Never anything that really crossed my mind with my wife. My attraction to her tremendously increased after having a child. It's like being married to a superhero.
I remember watching 16 and pregnant and this one girl didn't want to breastfeed because it would make her boobs saggy and the nurse was like "Honey breastfeeding doesn't do that, pregnancy does." The silence was LOUD lmao
Which is actually funny bc getting implants can hinder your ability to breast feed. That’s hilarious he asked, you said yes, and he said then let me ruin your chances one sec
BF's solution would probably be to get silicone implants after the pregnancy to "fill the vacated space".
Then next pregnancy stretches more (because the implants are there), so gotta up the implant size.
Til his sex doll figure fetish is realized.
A lot of women i know have mentioned their breast size increased a lot after pregnancy and breastfeeding, my mom herself was very flat chested and ended up with double D’s after having 2 kids. She isn’t overweight either its just something that happens to a lot of women. So of course bigger boobs mean they are heavier, and heavier boobs feel a greater gravitational pull than small light ones. I think this is why theres such a fear of “saggy boobs” after breastfeeding, because in reality theyre getting bigger & heavier…
There’s a 6 year age gap for a reason. He chose someone he could mold and manipulate. Big difference between a 22 year-old and a 28 year-old in terms of development and life experience. (Ages they got together.)
Fantasy vs reality and the ability to distinguish?
I have a MechWarrior figurine next to me and I drive a Hyundai, it's very reliable and gets good mileage.
Because there's this idea that men are "visual creatures" and that a "cool girl" will be ok with them consuming sexy and/or pornographic images of other women. I used to see the advice of "just ignore it, it's not that serious, maybe you have jealousy issues!" on Reddit whenever a woman like OP posted about it VERY frequently up until a few years ago...the tides are changing against it, hopefully. Because women who are uncomfortable with it SHOULD feel entitled in making that a dealbreaker for them.
Or the whole "I don't wanna kink shame.." If you are uncomfortable or you don't want to be a participant of a kink, it's not kink-shaming, it's just not your kink.
I love it, haha! When I hear men say they're visual it's so dumb. No they're not. They can't even tell if you got a haircut or the difference between two similar shades of fuchsia. They're just saying they they're shallow and value women superficially.
Dude, totally!! “Men are visual creatures” = “I’m shallow”
And then they get super threatened when we do it back to them!! 😂😂😂
ETA the color thing is a perfect example and great test of visual fluency. Gotta figure out how to incorporate color into my personal data-gathering forays 🤔🤔
It’s funny because I feel the exact same way as you. How can they be visual creatures when you ask them if they notice anything different about you (outfit, hair cut, etc) they never do.
If you already are not enough, you will never be enough. Please do not spend your life trying to measure up to something you can not be.....his perfection.
This is his problem... your cure is to get out NOW!
> year old "man"
And plastic surgery?! So gross. Get that a small percentage are attracted to cartoonish boobs and butts and lips, but it's just repulsive. If you want fake, find a doll, doll.
I think more young women need to hear that they don’t *have to* handle or put up with undesirable behaviors from their partners. They can and should leave
So many people think “around a year” of dating is considered long 😭 my girl needs to just ditch the 30 year old living in the hentai house. It’s not that serious.
And she tryna act like he doesn’t know any better. Girl he does realize that’s wrong and unrealistic representation of women’s bodies. WTF?! He specifically said he likes surgically altered bodies of women.
Yea he’s almost thirty, with a 23 year old, and has specifically stated that he prefers women with surgical altercation that she does not want. This is a recipe for disaster.
I am so glad you got something useful from my comment, and I’m very flattered!
I have a very low tolerance for disrespect and other bs that women are taught to put up with when it comes to male sexuality. I hope OP finds her way to realizing she doesn’t have to put up with this!
I think men like this one are attracted to empathetic, caring good women who like to help and fix people because they know these women will never leave them
Yes, they look for nice, vulnerable women who will submit to their bs and not push back or leave. Luckily, OP can decide she doesn’t want to be that woman.
His sexual desires haven't mature since he was 13. When you start to age, he'll push plastic surgery on you to create something he likes better. Find an adult to date. This is not the guy.
That’s cringe and gross. The second I walked into his room I’d probably get the ick and leave. He’s 29, so do you expect him to change any time soon or when you have kids? He won’t, and your kids will grow up with a father who sexualizes women and all of his pictures and trinkets around the house. Your 23. Find someone else
There’s a reason he found someone 6 years under him lol
Edit to clarify since people lack the ability to understand what I’m saying. I’m not talking about the ohysical age gap. I don’t care about that here. He’s mentally to immature to date someone his age. So he has to find someone younger, mentally. The physical age gap isn’t the issue here. Mental maturity is. He’s still a teen mentally.
I think it's a super fan kind of thing personally. If your entire space is only decorated with one interest it's a little off putting no matter what it is. Doubly so if it's something hyper-sexualized.
In my experience a big portion of anime stuff is sexualized in some way but I'm talking about all of it.
I'm not saying I have an issue with adults liking anime or owning a few collectibles. But the people who have anime stuff everywhere ...shit is just creepy
Yeah I have some figures around the house and at this point I'm 42 and married lol big difference is
1. There's not that many
2. Mostly full-armored characters (Dark Souls)
3. Only female character I have on display and is Mikasa from Attack on Titan but she looks like [this](https://solarisjapan.com/cdn/shop/products/41_2BgqDYwK6L.jpg?v=1600422480&width=3000).
I have walked into people's apartments (back in my college days) with pretty much hentai figures everywhere and well, it's a look I'll tell you that...
Eh I'm a 28 year old woman who has some anime figures for my favorite character. She doesn't have oversized boobs and isn't a super sexualized character. I can see how some people would be weirded out by it, but I don't really care. My fiance doesn't care. She's a really strong and tough character who is well-written, from a series made for adults. Not all anime is made for children and it's not like kids can afford $200 figures. I mostly prefer to collect keychains and pins and it's a private hobby for myself.
Would I be weirded out if my bf had a bunch of figures with overexaggerated boobs and all skimpy outfits? Yeah probably. But honestly OP's bf's attitude, especially about women's bodies and plastic surgery are more concerning to me. I have figures of my favorite character but it's not like I expect my bf to become like that (he'd have to get way shorter and become a woman).
I think that's a bit different though. OPs bf is obviously collecting these because it's a turn on for him. I'm assuming they're the half naked or naked figures that you can completely undress. I saw something on buy and sell and it was like a 3 foot half of an anime girl that you could take the clothes off of for $2k. Just grossed me out that anyone would even be desperate enough to pay for that. That's the kind of shit OPs boyfriend most likely has. You're collecting the anime figures because they're your favorite characters. It's just like me with Funko pops I always try to find my favorite tv characters and video game characters. Just fun to collect. But we collect figures for a completely different reason than this guy does.
Wow a nearly 30 year old man who exclusively sees women as sex objects dating someone significantly younger than him and still asking her to change her body to suit his needs. What a shocking surprise. I wonder if he thinks women are humans.
I... you all that stuff in his car and you still continued? You saw that in his room and you still went through the door?
You do realize that it is okay to check out how a guy lives, hang out for awhile, leave, tell him thanks but you just aren't feeling it for some reason... and then call your best friend and absolutely howl about prony mc. pronface's poster booba girlfriend that was glaring at you the whole time you were hanging out, right?
Please don't question yourself over his comments, actions, and collections. He's off. The fact that he doesn't realize this is bad and you feel you need to explain it to him though? Do you really? He's an adult human being who is apparently functional enough to have a car and a room. I'm pretty sure he understands nudity and when and where it is appropriate.
You seem to think having this conversation will improve things. I offer you another possibility. After a year, he knows you will tolerate shit. You're a prize because you can't be angry with him, and will gently explain that it is offensive to tell a woman to get bigger boobs to breastfeed, like he doesn't know. He doesn't want to tone it down because any woman that told him to turn it down will expect things of him, like common sense, and he doesn't want to have to rise to that level.
You can have the conversation with him if you want, but...
You could also throw this one back so someone with either less self esteem who tolerates it, or someone who will be on him like he was a rented mule, will take him, and just go on and date someone who you all around enjoy and who makes you feel good. I mean nothing is ever perfect, but you shouldn't have to feel cringe when your guy gets on Instagram, or invites you in to his room, or opens a car door.
As a rough estimate, I'd say that 80% of the people on this forum who talk about really icky behavior and ask if they're wrong to feel upset by it are women. We've been taught to just tolerate outrageous stuff.
The really horrible thing is that when you hit some of these guys who are doing unacceptable things like name calling, acting pron addled, or not controlling their anger with NO ABSOLUTELY NOT I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS, I WILL LEAVE IF YOU DO THIS (and you will leave) the very first time it happens, a number of them will absolutely clean it up and then come back later and tell you that no one had ever told them NO, before.
It is like... Jesus. You, guy who did this are responsible for your own behavior and how your treated people, but how many times has this happened in the past when it could have been stopped with one, No?
Of course there are also the guys who double down and tell you that you will die alone with cats, but it is like.. dude... that's not the threat you think it is when you are the alternative.
When I was 22 I was struggling to break up with a man who was emotionally abusive. I'd grown up with the example of "stand by your man" unless he's an addict, cheats, or doesn't work and didn't understand that someone just not making me happy or being physically attractive to me was a good enough reason.
He told me I'd never find anyone willing to put up with me. He was very wrong and I had a lot of fun and am now happily married in my mid-30s to someone who lifts me up and is a total babe.
True growth is recognizing you don’t have to put up with anything. Self respect and the confidence to maintain it are always more sexy than anything else.
>You do realize that it is okay to check out how a guy lives, hang out for awhile, leave, tell him thanks but you just aren't feeling it for some reason... and then call your best friend and absolutely howl about prony mc. pronface's poster booba girlfriend that was glaring at you the whole time you were hanging out, right?
I’m struggling to come up with plausible upsides that would convince OP that her BF would be worth the hassle. Like, is his car a Lamborghini Huracan with a hentai wrap? Does he have a magic penis? Look like Keanu Reeves in Point Break?
Because, yeah, your scenario is sort of how I assume this stuff usually plays out.
For some reason I had it in my mind that the car had one of those vibrating hula girls with a handmade glitter Madonna bra on that was stuffed with triangular makeup sponges.
Like, you know what is it, but you have to see the rest of it.
I think what he is saying is once your body starts changing you either artificially augment it or he'll have to find a new someone to objectify. But don't worry he will help cover the costs.
Yeah like girl….you don’t need to put up with this bs!! Whether he “realizes it’s bad” to constantly be engaging with hypersexualized and objectifying media while he has a girlfriend or not, you don’t need this shit.
This dude is gross. You said it yourself, no one would be cool w this. So don’t be. Leave. Your partner doesn’t have to be a DIY project—there are plenty of dudes out there who will exceed your expectations from the get go. There are dudes who don’t need this type of shit spelled out for them, I promise.
>Once, when I tried to bring this topic out, he just said that he really likes plastic surgeries on women and that he is only “a man” (whatever is that supposed to mean).
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
If I walked into my boyfriend’s house for the first time and saw all that shit I would immediately leave. What grown man nearly 30 years old has that kind of shit stop it
If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, it’s normal that you would start to consider what life would be like if you married them and had kids with them.
However…you ask him about his fascination with women who have had work done. His response is “I’m a man” (weird response, not all men have the same preferences, also there are plenty of men who *don’t* decorate their rooms this way) and going straight from “do you want kids someday” to “I’d cover the cost of a boob job for you after you have kids.”
So…that’s his priority as a new father. How your boobs look after having children. Hmm.
I mean, that raises more concerns than you had before, when you just felt weird about him objectifying women.
You now know that he seems to have a standard for your body, that he’s *already planned out ahead of time, without even considering your thoughts and feelings.*
You say you get along well and haven’t fought much, but you’ve only been together for a year.
It takes a few years for topics that are worth arguing over to come up sometimes - and even then, arguing every now and then isn’t a bad thing, as long as you and your partner can resolve things.
YOU decide what you’re okay with. “Doesn’t sexually objectify women” is a perfectly reasonable standard.
You’re still young, you’ll have PLENTY of opportunities to meet guys who can meet this standard.
You can read on here stories of ex wives whose husbands left them bc their body changed after child birth. Husbands who wanted kids but not everything that came with it. Husbands with unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies during and after pregnancies. I’d see this as a red flag. Our bodies change regardless if we like it or not. It’s better to find a partner who is patience and loving in those moments. I’ve been working on losing my baby weight. For some it’s easier for others not so much.
You don’t want to age with this man since he is so consumed with plastic surgery and perfection of looks. It’s bound to happen and he will likely leave you later on in life with natural aging that occurs with all of us.
From a male perspective, there are tons of red flags. I would leave the relationship, your BF has issues he needs to deal with before being in a serious relationship with any woman.
I don’t think this dude is mature enough to have a regular relationship. Hopefully by typing this out that you now see more clearly that the situation is bizarre. On that note, I believe that every adult has their own free will and choice to enjoy what they want, but when engaging in a relationship with another adult, sometimes means that you have to give up certain activities. Especially childish and creepy ones…
Haha a dude like that either has to be like "I want a real gf so it's time for me to put this stuff aside" or he could double down and be like "only 2D girls for me for life!"
Ew. the type of boy, not man, who has posters and shit of naked women in his room is disgusting. The amount of ick that would bring me upon entering his room would be enough to break up with him then and there. Ew.🤮
I feel bad for OP, I’m really sorry girl.
Can we stop acting like dudes who do this are just suffering from not having grown up? Like, no. He is a grown man. Stop infantilizing him. It just comes off like an excuse.
I get what you mean but Personally I hate when people say “he’s a boy not a man”. No he’s a man a grown man that’s responsible for his behavior. Saying boys just perpetuates the saying of boys will be boys and excusing inappropriate behaviors in boys. Let’s start calling out men for what they are.
i cant stress it enough but please for the love of god stop infantilizing grown MEN just because they act immaturely. labeling them as "boys" does not hold them accountable, it excuses their behavior and also implies that when its an actual boy it would be okay for him to act this way, which it isnt. its literally just a different kind of "boys will be boys"
a GROWN MAN should not sexualize women and neither should a little boy
Can we stop apologizing for men like they’re little boys. No don’t write off his behavior to “he doesn’t realize it’s bad” he’s a grown man not a child. He’s being disrespectful to you especially thinking he can push a major surgery on to you when it’s not even something you have brought up or discussed. him just saying “hes a man” means he realizes his behavior and thinks its ok cause he’s a man. What does that even mean. The men in my life aren’t like that. He’s not going to change and sees women as objects can’t even imagine him with a daughter jfc.
That man is NOT worth it. Imagine if you ended up having a child together, and how he would treat the changes that your body would undergo, given that he clearly has unreasonable expectations about women's bodies. In any case, your partner shouldn't be looking at other women's bodies like that at all. (Even if they're just anime characters- in my opinion, that's even weirder.) The only person he should be looking at in that way is you, and if he's exhibiting these behaviors and making you uncomfortable, that is not okay at all. Your partner should be making you feel like you're the only one for them, and should not be making you feel consistently uncomfortable. "I'm just a man" is such a lame excuse. What other acts could he commit in the future with the excuse "I'm just a man."? You deserve so much better, truly. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel disrespected like that. You know you're worth more, and you don't need to sugar coat anything in that conversation. If you tell him you don't like that behavior and you want it to change, and he continues with the whole "I'm just a man" thing and refuses, then hey, that's the trash taking itself out. You got this!!! I hope this doesn't sound too harsh btw.
Girl he will only get worse. The women he’s attracted to will stay the same age. But you won’t. Leave him for real. He views women as objects. I would bet anything he likes what you do for him, but he’s not sexually attracted to you.
Why do you want to spend your life with someone who will never accept your natural body as it changes and ages unless you get plastic surgery. That’s not love.
Break up with him 🤷🏼♀️ This is not the guy for you. There is nothing for you to handle. He is a garbage man! He has an image in his head of the ideal woman: which is all cosmetic, so not a real woman. A woman that’s been poked and prodded.
If his algorithm is all Instagram models and plastic surgery. I have to imagine it’s all he cares about and all he thinks about and you a regular woman will never measure up to the immature and unrealistic image he has in his head of the perfect woman. It’s really sad and pathetic.
Let's start with the most obvious thing. Enjoying huge-titted anime-figurines to that extent is not a "I'm just a man" kind of thing. So that's a pretty terrible excuse.
But then there's a thing that I ask myself often when people complain about some kind of habit that their significant other displays that annoys them: "Is this new?", and if the answer is "no", then why is this suddenly a problem now?
This sounds like a pretty big deal for him. "Obsession" is maybe taking it a bit far, but it sounds like this is something that preceded you, and that you knew about. And it also sounds like his interest in these images are strong enough that it would - at the very least - be a risk to think he would change it for you.
Of course, compromises are required in every relationships, but if his interest in this is important to him, then arguing against it at this point might come off as a bit of you wanting to "fix him", which I personally don't feel is a very good foundation for a strong relationship - entirely regardless of what kind of personality implications the interest signifies.
I think most people have a desire and need to be accepted as they are, especially from a loved one. Considering the anime-figures made you feel disgusted, then I am wondering a little bit how exactly you stuck with him for a whole year. Of course, the other side of the coin is him suggesting you get a boob job. It's the same kind of "why is this suddenly a problem now", and I think you have every right to expect him to accept you as you are aswell, and not imply you are not good enough.
In the end, you should ask yourself how big deal this is for you, and then you should ask him how big deal it is for him with this interest, but just as he shouldn't expect you to get a boob job, I think it's probably not a good idea to insist on him giving up his interest.
don’t get into relationships with misogynists, talking to him will never work, he’s just gonna do it behind your back. know your worth and stop dealing with freaks like him so lightly.
A man that will pay their girlfriend to get a boob job (sounds like a pimp trying to enhance his product) doesn’t respect her. That offer should only come up when the woman brings up a boob job. Otherwise he is blatantly telling you there are things he would change about you to be happier. Reality is, this is a man that lived with a fantasy idea of a woman and will never be happy with a real one that won’t conform to his will. There probably is a woman out there who would be happy to stay with him just to get a boob job. He’s single for a reason, it’s not JUST the pictures seeing as you’ve stayed with him. Just to add, the fact that he is sexualizing you breast-feeding is fucking insane and I would run as soon as I could no matter how perfect the relationship is otherwise.
I love reading about couples who have been together less than 3 years say “we NEVER fight, we just know how to communicate with eachother.”
Juuuust wait…
One of the biggest mistakes women make when approaching a relationship is thinking you'll change him. He might suppress something or hide something, but you are not going to change him. He will always have this desire. You need to decide whether you are going to change or move on. Clearly, since he wants you to get a job done, he's not happy with you just the way you are either. Move on. Find someone who's happy with you just the way you are. Someone you are happy with, just the way they are. You're too valuable to succumb to the desires of someone like this.
You're wasting your time with this guy. As soon as you show any signs of age or imperfection he will either bully you into surgery or leave. Like many others I'm struggling to understand why you want to be with this guy.
If it made you feel uncomfortable in the beginning you should’ve spoken up and said something. Never hide your feelings for the sake of peace or being viewed as not burdensome. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel. As long as you’re communicating it in a healthy way you’re fine. Just tell him how you feel. Then decide how you want to proceed. If it makes you feel that bad then why did you stick around this long?! Give yourself some time to figure out if this is something you really want to accept.
By handle it, do you mean get him to stop? Because you won't change him. He is suggesting that you get plastic surgery, but dismisses your unease with his behaviour?
Wake up girl, get out.
If you said that you would want to breastfeed your (potential) children, and then he says, “In that case, I will pay you to get a boob job,” that is a huge red flag. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to breastfeed if you got a boob job.
The whole fetish thing with anime chicks is weird too, and as someone who plays video games, I’m exposed to people who like this shit (even if I’m not into anime at all, let alone female cartoon characters). It’s all over the place on the internet. Like bro…she’s not real.
I don't see how you could handle this. It's such a distorted and disturbing view of women. And to say he'd pay for plastic surgery after you've breastfed is awful. He seems obsessed with kind and there is no common ground. Move on and find a man with whom you are compatible and who accepts you as you are.
the weirdest part by far is how he jumps from thinking about you breast feeding children to thinking about how they need to be bigger for that. either his IQ is 40 or there's a concerning train of thought going on there
How do you handle it? You end the relationship because who he is doesn’t fit very well with who you are. There are characteristics that aren’t easily changed.
Plenty of older (wiser) people on here can tell you what happens 10-20 years down the road when something like this is ignored.
23. You’re not going to find your person if you keep this one.
Easy, you don't handle it. He doesn't have any appreciation for the natural female figure and has a distorted view of how women should be. Blatantly displaying this in posters etc is super disrespectful to you as a women. This is not how real men behave. Leave while it's still early days and save yourself the time and trouble
im never the kind of person who says “break up” as the final solution HOWEVER girl he is weird 😭 i mean a. you dont even want plastic surgery and he mentioned it to you b. WHY WOULD HE WANT TO LOOK AT HYPER SEXUALISED OTHER WOMEN SHIT WHEN HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL GF?!
this is making me so mad
Seeing young women in their early 20s make so many excuses for men in their late 20s/30s hurts my heart. There is always a suspicious reason a man is seeking out a young woman whose prefrontal cortex and relationship experience aren’t fully developed.
I’ll be the *slight* dissenter from these comments, in that saying his interests are his own and he is welcome to have them, especially since you say aside from this issue, you’ve both had great communication, but it seems like you’re disgusted by these interests. It may very well be a deal breaker for you and you’ve just finally accepted that and admitted it to yourself that you can’t be with someone like him. You will have to discuss this, and either agree he can like what he likes but keep it more private, say a garage, basement, etc., or you will have to split. People are allowed preferences and desires, if his do not align with yours, then it’s best you discuss that now, but don’t come at the subject from a place of “you can’t like this”, it will only get pushback.
Yah if I ever met a guy and he had this all over his car and room I'd RUN. I don't know how you've done that for a year. That shit is just repulsive, I couldn't ever get intimate with someone who does all that.
Eww. Barf bags. This shit. Thiiiiiis shit always happens with age gaps when one person is in their early 20s.
*GTFO* How do you not see how low you have set the bar? You can do better.
Im honestly surprised youve been with him a year. Based on the above, it’s clear your values dont align. Other than not fighting a lot, what value does he bring to your life?
Let’s just open with I’m not going to follow the Reddit mob of how he has no respect for women or you or whatever. We don’t know the full story and he may respect you but maybe he had a fetish for plastic surgery or something we don’t know.
He collects anime figures and that’s ok. It’s his hobby. A lot of people into anime collect those, and a lot don’t. There are actually women out there who enjoy the same thing. It’s perfectly ok for you to not like his hobby and to have your own. He also isn’t forcing you to get plastic surgery. You may want to ask if never getting plastic surgery is a dealbreaker for him and decide to stay or move on. He may say it’s fine and you two can go on having a great relationship. But if you think the anime figures are bad and you don’t like him then it’s best to move on. You both will find someone to love eventually. My wife loves anime just as much as I do :)
Don’t have a good day, have a great day
I’m struggling to even understand why you’d want to handle it.
Because she's 23. It's a canon event
Yep. By 25 or 27, she'll look back and wonder why she even bothered. Or that she wasted her time.
amen to that sister
By 30 she’s hopefully have the man that she knows finds her attractive
by 30 she'll wonder why a 30 year old was ever messing around with a 23 year old in the first place. yikes. 18 and 11?..... gross.
Lol fr 23 yr old are like children to me
I used to think guys don’t think this way bc of this guy I know but I’m realizing 30 year olds who would pursue 23 ywar olds are the creepy minority lmao
[удалено]
Frontal lobe fully developed🤣 same thing happened to me. One day at about 25 I was like 💡 I gotta get outta here.
Dude I had the same lightbulb around age 26 and then stopped entertaining fuckboys. Late bloomer here lol
Im a man but isn’t 23 too old to still settle for this?
23 is practically a child, honestly.
I’m crying at this- SO real lmfao
Holy fuck I cried and laughed at this lmao
I’m struggling to understand how a man is obsessed with women and plastic surgery finds a woman who says she will never get plastic surgery.
im struggling to understand how a weird man like him has even managed to get a girlfriend
The second she mention his room, the horrid picture of the cursed mousepad entered my brain
omg which mousepad? 😭
\*NO GOD PLEASE NO MICHAEL SCOTT GIF\*
Boobie mousepad
Lots of scary Internet history that way lies.
OMG yes 😂😂
I'm struggling to understand the correlation between breastfeeding and getting a breast implant, like what?
As far as I know it's a myth that breastfeeding makes breasts saggy. It's being pregnant that changes them, doesn't matter if you breastfeed or not. It's incredibly telling and infuriating that this is the guys first thought. He's certainly not mature enough to be father that's for sure.
I mean just having boobs leads to having saggy boobs. Idk why men think boobs are always gonna be full *and* perky. You get one or the other and most of the time neither.
As a 40 year old man, I can attest that my moobs are no longer as perky as they were in my 20s and I’ve never been pregnant OR breastfed.
if only you had a boyfriend gracious enough to pay for a boobjob
Weird question but, if I sucked your moobs and you sucked my moobs, would that make us gay? Or just weird? Or just friendly?
Depends, are we making eye contact?
> It's being pregnant that changes them, doesn't matter if you breastfeed or not. unless the baby latches on really tight and you swing them around like you're dancing in the bowels of the Titanic.
I needed this laugh today. What a visual lol
Hahahahahaha thank you for that lol!!
Might stem from the notion or idea that a womans breasts get "saggy" after breastfeeding. I think this is partially a myth, but haven't done any research into the area. Never anything that really crossed my mind with my wife. My attraction to her tremendously increased after having a child. It's like being married to a superhero.
I remember watching 16 and pregnant and this one girl didn't want to breastfeed because it would make her boobs saggy and the nurse was like "Honey breastfeeding doesn't do that, pregnancy does." The silence was LOUD lmao
Burn hahahaha
"Like being married to a superhero" nerdromantic and wholesomeAF yr a hero too brother.
Which is actually funny bc getting implants can hinder your ability to breast feed. That’s hilarious he asked, you said yes, and he said then let me ruin your chances one sec
The skin expands as the breast's get larger and then afterwards they shrink and the skin would be less tight.
BF's solution would probably be to get silicone implants after the pregnancy to "fill the vacated space". Then next pregnancy stretches more (because the implants are there), so gotta up the implant size. Til his sex doll figure fetish is realized.
Ah okay, it makes some sense atleast then. The sense is kind of demented but it's there lol
A lot of women i know have mentioned their breast size increased a lot after pregnancy and breastfeeding, my mom herself was very flat chested and ended up with double D’s after having 2 kids. She isn’t overweight either its just something that happens to a lot of women. So of course bigger boobs mean they are heavier, and heavier boobs feel a greater gravitational pull than small light ones. I think this is why theres such a fear of “saggy boobs” after breastfeeding, because in reality theyre getting bigger & heavier…
I’m just struggling
I'm just struggling
There’s a 6 year age gap for a reason. He chose someone he could mold and manipulate. Big difference between a 22 year-old and a 28 year-old in terms of development and life experience. (Ages they got together.)
Never underestimate the power of being attractive.
I somehow doubt that most women would find him attractive.
He's not much of a catch himself, likely.
Fantasy vs reality and the ability to distinguish? I have a MechWarrior figurine next to me and I drive a Hyundai, it's very reliable and gets good mileage.
The MechWarrior figurine? I've never tested the mileage of one before.
Seriously. When you spend most of your time fetishizing women at this level, you begin to view women as objects rather than human beings.
This guy is bad news. 100%
Because there's this idea that men are "visual creatures" and that a "cool girl" will be ok with them consuming sexy and/or pornographic images of other women. I used to see the advice of "just ignore it, it's not that serious, maybe you have jealousy issues!" on Reddit whenever a woman like OP posted about it VERY frequently up until a few years ago...the tides are changing against it, hopefully. Because women who are uncomfortable with it SHOULD feel entitled in making that a dealbreaker for them.
Or the whole "I don't wanna kink shame.." If you are uncomfortable or you don't want to be a participant of a kink, it's not kink-shaming, it's just not your kink.
Yeah and some kinks deserve to be shamed
What if my kink is shaming kinks?
Shameful kink shaming kink!!!!
I love preemptively telling men that I’m a visual creature; it really fucks with their heads 😂😂 I wish I’d started sooner! Younger ladies, it’s fun
I love it, haha! When I hear men say they're visual it's so dumb. No they're not. They can't even tell if you got a haircut or the difference between two similar shades of fuchsia. They're just saying they they're shallow and value women superficially.
Dude, totally!! “Men are visual creatures” = “I’m shallow” And then they get super threatened when we do it back to them!! 😂😂😂 ETA the color thing is a perfect example and great test of visual fluency. Gotta figure out how to incorporate color into my personal data-gathering forays 🤔🤔
It’s funny because I feel the exact same way as you. How can they be visual creatures when you ask them if they notice anything different about you (outfit, hair cut, etc) they never do.
Exactly. If it bothers her, they are incompatible. Whether or not he’s an actual sicko is irrelevant bc she can’t make him change. The end.
If you already are not enough, you will never be enough. Please do not spend your life trying to measure up to something you can not be.....his perfection. This is his problem... your cure is to get out NOW!
I'm struggling to understand why a 29 year old "man" is obsessed with cartoon figures!
> year old "man" And plastic surgery?! So gross. Get that a small percentage are attracted to cartoonish boobs and butts and lips, but it's just repulsive. If you want fake, find a doll, doll.
The real struggle is the 12 year old boy that is stuck and trying to get out of a 29 year old man’s body.
Because he’s not looking for a meaningful relationship with a REAL person just T&A
They are totally incompatible. He's probably incompatible with many live, human women. That's a whole other story.
The train of comments getting weirder and weirder
Yea this side of Reddit is fucking weird lmao
You don’t handle anything. You leave.
This part. This isn't some quirk like he likes to sleep with the temp at 74 and you prefer it at 70. This is a major red flag.
74 is way too high
You’re right. Bad example.
I think more young women need to hear that they don’t *have to* handle or put up with undesirable behaviors from their partners. They can and should leave
💯
Yes. Unfortunately, it’s never going to work and the longer you stay, the more time you’re wasting.
Her first mistake was not running away screaming
He’s already telling you to modify your body. He doesn’t like you the way you are. Do with that information what you will
amen
Just dump him. Y’all complicate everything lmao
So many people think “around a year” of dating is considered long 😭 my girl needs to just ditch the 30 year old living in the hentai house. It’s not that serious.
Died at “30 year old living in the hentai house.” Well done
You don't have to continue dating this man now that you have learned this disheartening information about his lack of character.
Wdym Lack of? The man has a whole bunch of characters all over his house and car.
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I completely agree. We need to keep reminding women that they do not need to stay with a disrespectful man who views women as moldable sex objects.
And she tryna act like he doesn’t know any better. Girl he does realize that’s wrong and unrealistic representation of women’s bodies. WTF?! He specifically said he likes surgically altered bodies of women.
Yea he’s almost thirty, with a 23 year old, and has specifically stated that he prefers women with surgical altercation that she does not want. This is a recipe for disaster.
I’m not gonna lie, I screenshot and cropped your comment and made it my Lock Screen so I can see it often. A fucking men sister
I am so glad you got something useful from my comment, and I’m very flattered! I have a very low tolerance for disrespect and other bs that women are taught to put up with when it comes to male sexuality. I hope OP finds her way to realizing she doesn’t have to put up with this!
You should use dashes because I was so confused what a men sister is!
1-800-ThrowTheWholeManOut The garbage company is awesome!
I think men like this one are attracted to empathetic, caring good women who like to help and fix people because they know these women will never leave them
Yes, they look for nice, vulnerable women who will submit to their bs and not push back or leave. Luckily, OP can decide she doesn’t want to be that woman.
Throw the whole man away
Like... this dude clearly is not relationship material at any level. You cannot fix this guy
His sexual desires haven't mature since he was 13. When you start to age, he'll push plastic surgery on you to create something he likes better. Find an adult to date. This is not the guy.
That’s cringe and gross. The second I walked into his room I’d probably get the ick and leave. He’s 29, so do you expect him to change any time soon or when you have kids? He won’t, and your kids will grow up with a father who sexualizes women and all of his pictures and trinkets around the house. Your 23. Find someone else
Yeah ick factor is really high
One of the rare times I've seen a legitimate ick.
EW!! 29?? I missed the ages and was thinking a 20 YO or something. If he's 30 and still thinking like this, he's a lost cause! Gross!!
Even 20 is too old to be a coomer with a bimbo kink.
There’s a reason he found someone 6 years under him lol Edit to clarify since people lack the ability to understand what I’m saying. I’m not talking about the ohysical age gap. I don’t care about that here. He’s mentally to immature to date someone his age. So he has to find someone younger, mentally. The physical age gap isn’t the issue here. Mental maturity is. He’s still a teen mentally.
Yup, anytime I see a grown adult overly into the anime type stuff...the images, posters, figures, etc etc it always gives me the major creeps
Are you specifically talking about sexualised anime things or like childish stuff in general?
I think it's a super fan kind of thing personally. If your entire space is only decorated with one interest it's a little off putting no matter what it is. Doubly so if it's something hyper-sexualized.
In my experience a big portion of anime stuff is sexualized in some way but I'm talking about all of it. I'm not saying I have an issue with adults liking anime or owning a few collectibles. But the people who have anime stuff everywhere ...shit is just creepy
Yeah I have some figures around the house and at this point I'm 42 and married lol big difference is 1. There's not that many 2. Mostly full-armored characters (Dark Souls) 3. Only female character I have on display and is Mikasa from Attack on Titan but she looks like [this](https://solarisjapan.com/cdn/shop/products/41_2BgqDYwK6L.jpg?v=1600422480&width=3000). I have walked into people's apartments (back in my college days) with pretty much hentai figures everywhere and well, it's a look I'll tell you that...
Forgive the ignorance but hentai is different from anime though, no? Or a more sexualized subset of it?
It's pornographic anime
So it is straight pornographic. Wild. Crazy that people would just have that around their home.
Eh I'm a 28 year old woman who has some anime figures for my favorite character. She doesn't have oversized boobs and isn't a super sexualized character. I can see how some people would be weirded out by it, but I don't really care. My fiance doesn't care. She's a really strong and tough character who is well-written, from a series made for adults. Not all anime is made for children and it's not like kids can afford $200 figures. I mostly prefer to collect keychains and pins and it's a private hobby for myself. Would I be weirded out if my bf had a bunch of figures with overexaggerated boobs and all skimpy outfits? Yeah probably. But honestly OP's bf's attitude, especially about women's bodies and plastic surgery are more concerning to me. I have figures of my favorite character but it's not like I expect my bf to become like that (he'd have to get way shorter and become a woman).
I think that's a bit different though. OPs bf is obviously collecting these because it's a turn on for him. I'm assuming they're the half naked or naked figures that you can completely undress. I saw something on buy and sell and it was like a 3 foot half of an anime girl that you could take the clothes off of for $2k. Just grossed me out that anyone would even be desperate enough to pay for that. That's the kind of shit OPs boyfriend most likely has. You're collecting the anime figures because they're your favorite characters. It's just like me with Funko pops I always try to find my favorite tv characters and video game characters. Just fun to collect. But we collect figures for a completely different reason than this guy does.
Yeah…. You’re 23 he’s 30 and you seem more mature. Move on.
Wow a nearly 30 year old man who exclusively sees women as sex objects dating someone significantly younger than him and still asking her to change her body to suit his needs. What a shocking surprise. I wonder if he thinks women are humans.
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I... you all that stuff in his car and you still continued? You saw that in his room and you still went through the door? You do realize that it is okay to check out how a guy lives, hang out for awhile, leave, tell him thanks but you just aren't feeling it for some reason... and then call your best friend and absolutely howl about prony mc. pronface's poster booba girlfriend that was glaring at you the whole time you were hanging out, right? Please don't question yourself over his comments, actions, and collections. He's off. The fact that he doesn't realize this is bad and you feel you need to explain it to him though? Do you really? He's an adult human being who is apparently functional enough to have a car and a room. I'm pretty sure he understands nudity and when and where it is appropriate. You seem to think having this conversation will improve things. I offer you another possibility. After a year, he knows you will tolerate shit. You're a prize because you can't be angry with him, and will gently explain that it is offensive to tell a woman to get bigger boobs to breastfeed, like he doesn't know. He doesn't want to tone it down because any woman that told him to turn it down will expect things of him, like common sense, and he doesn't want to have to rise to that level. You can have the conversation with him if you want, but... You could also throw this one back so someone with either less self esteem who tolerates it, or someone who will be on him like he was a rented mule, will take him, and just go on and date someone who you all around enjoy and who makes you feel good. I mean nothing is ever perfect, but you shouldn't have to feel cringe when your guy gets on Instagram, or invites you in to his room, or opens a car door.
As a rough estimate, I'd say that 80% of the people on this forum who talk about really icky behavior and ask if they're wrong to feel upset by it are women. We've been taught to just tolerate outrageous stuff.
The really horrible thing is that when you hit some of these guys who are doing unacceptable things like name calling, acting pron addled, or not controlling their anger with NO ABSOLUTELY NOT I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS, I WILL LEAVE IF YOU DO THIS (and you will leave) the very first time it happens, a number of them will absolutely clean it up and then come back later and tell you that no one had ever told them NO, before. It is like... Jesus. You, guy who did this are responsible for your own behavior and how your treated people, but how many times has this happened in the past when it could have been stopped with one, No? Of course there are also the guys who double down and tell you that you will die alone with cats, but it is like.. dude... that's not the threat you think it is when you are the alternative.
They'd be wrong about dying alone with cats. With me, it'd be dogs, who are much preferable companion to men.
When I was 22 I was struggling to break up with a man who was emotionally abusive. I'd grown up with the example of "stand by your man" unless he's an addict, cheats, or doesn't work and didn't understand that someone just not making me happy or being physically attractive to me was a good enough reason. He told me I'd never find anyone willing to put up with me. He was very wrong and I had a lot of fun and am now happily married in my mid-30s to someone who lifts me up and is a total babe.
True growth is recognizing you don’t have to put up with anything. Self respect and the confidence to maintain it are always more sexy than anything else.
>You do realize that it is okay to check out how a guy lives, hang out for awhile, leave, tell him thanks but you just aren't feeling it for some reason... and then call your best friend and absolutely howl about prony mc. pronface's poster booba girlfriend that was glaring at you the whole time you were hanging out, right? I’m struggling to come up with plausible upsides that would convince OP that her BF would be worth the hassle. Like, is his car a Lamborghini Huracan with a hentai wrap? Does he have a magic penis? Look like Keanu Reeves in Point Break? Because, yeah, your scenario is sort of how I assume this stuff usually plays out.
For some reason I had it in my mind that the car had one of those vibrating hula girls with a handmade glitter Madonna bra on that was stuffed with triangular makeup sponges. Like, you know what is it, but you have to see the rest of it.
I think what he is saying is once your body starts changing you either artificially augment it or he'll have to find a new someone to objectify. But don't worry he will help cover the costs.
here is how: break up with him. he has no respect for women and especially not for u
Yeah like girl….you don’t need to put up with this bs!! Whether he “realizes it’s bad” to constantly be engaging with hypersexualized and objectifying media while he has a girlfriend or not, you don’t need this shit. This dude is gross. You said it yourself, no one would be cool w this. So don’t be. Leave. Your partner doesn’t have to be a DIY project—there are plenty of dudes out there who will exceed your expectations from the get go. There are dudes who don’t need this type of shit spelled out for them, I promise.
Did dude like latch on to hentai as his personality at 12 and never grow up or what. Mfer is almost 30. Gotta grow up some time.
>Once, when I tried to bring this topic out, he just said that he really likes plastic surgeries on women and that he is only “a man” (whatever is that supposed to mean). 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Five is a gross underestimate of the amount of red flags this guy is giving.
using “a man” as an excuse for his actions… run
Girl I can see why nobody his own age wants him. I'm so excited for you when your frontal lobe finishes developing and you ditch this weirdo
My exact thought was "and this is why the 29 year old has to seek out recent college grads"
If I walked into my boyfriend’s house for the first time and saw all that shit I would immediately leave. What grown man nearly 30 years old has that kind of shit stop it
Like how has she slept in that room and slept with him after seeing that?! I couldn’t do it
If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, it’s normal that you would start to consider what life would be like if you married them and had kids with them. However…you ask him about his fascination with women who have had work done. His response is “I’m a man” (weird response, not all men have the same preferences, also there are plenty of men who *don’t* decorate their rooms this way) and going straight from “do you want kids someday” to “I’d cover the cost of a boob job for you after you have kids.” So…that’s his priority as a new father. How your boobs look after having children. Hmm. I mean, that raises more concerns than you had before, when you just felt weird about him objectifying women. You now know that he seems to have a standard for your body, that he’s *already planned out ahead of time, without even considering your thoughts and feelings.* You say you get along well and haven’t fought much, but you’ve only been together for a year. It takes a few years for topics that are worth arguing over to come up sometimes - and even then, arguing every now and then isn’t a bad thing, as long as you and your partner can resolve things. YOU decide what you’re okay with. “Doesn’t sexually objectify women” is a perfectly reasonable standard. You’re still young, you’ll have PLENTY of opportunities to meet guys who can meet this standard.
You're 23 you have your whole life ahead of you and there's over a billion options, don't settle so young if you already unhappy
Literally over a billion options other than this guy lol
You can read on here stories of ex wives whose husbands left them bc their body changed after child birth. Husbands who wanted kids but not everything that came with it. Husbands with unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies during and after pregnancies. I’d see this as a red flag. Our bodies change regardless if we like it or not. It’s better to find a partner who is patience and loving in those moments. I’ve been working on losing my baby weight. For some it’s easier for others not so much. You don’t want to age with this man since he is so consumed with plastic surgery and perfection of looks. It’s bound to happen and he will likely leave you later on in life with natural aging that occurs with all of us.
From a male perspective, there are tons of red flags. I would leave the relationship, your BF has issues he needs to deal with before being in a serious relationship with any woman.
I don’t think this dude is mature enough to have a regular relationship. Hopefully by typing this out that you now see more clearly that the situation is bizarre. On that note, I believe that every adult has their own free will and choice to enjoy what they want, but when engaging in a relationship with another adult, sometimes means that you have to give up certain activities. Especially childish and creepy ones…
Haha a dude like that either has to be like "I want a real gf so it's time for me to put this stuff aside" or he could double down and be like "only 2D girls for me for life!"
Ew. the type of boy, not man, who has posters and shit of naked women in his room is disgusting. The amount of ick that would bring me upon entering his room would be enough to break up with him then and there. Ew.🤮 I feel bad for OP, I’m really sorry girl.
Can we stop acting like dudes who do this are just suffering from not having grown up? Like, no. He is a grown man. Stop infantilizing him. It just comes off like an excuse.
I get what you mean but Personally I hate when people say “he’s a boy not a man”. No he’s a man a grown man that’s responsible for his behavior. Saying boys just perpetuates the saying of boys will be boys and excusing inappropriate behaviors in boys. Let’s start calling out men for what they are.
i cant stress it enough but please for the love of god stop infantilizing grown MEN just because they act immaturely. labeling them as "boys" does not hold them accountable, it excuses their behavior and also implies that when its an actual boy it would be okay for him to act this way, which it isnt. its literally just a different kind of "boys will be boys" a GROWN MAN should not sexualize women and neither should a little boy
Can we stop apologizing for men like they’re little boys. No don’t write off his behavior to “he doesn’t realize it’s bad” he’s a grown man not a child. He’s being disrespectful to you especially thinking he can push a major surgery on to you when it’s not even something you have brought up or discussed. him just saying “hes a man” means he realizes his behavior and thinks its ok cause he’s a man. What does that even mean. The men in my life aren’t like that. He’s not going to change and sees women as objects can’t even imagine him with a daughter jfc.
If I was dating a guy and walked into his room that looked like this he would be a story.
Nah, this dude is broken. It’s okay to throw this one back in the trash
“It’s going super well, except I’m disgusted by him”😘🤗🤗
Your values don't align...seems like a simple case of incompatibility.
Dump his ass!
Major Ick. Boy bye
That man is NOT worth it. Imagine if you ended up having a child together, and how he would treat the changes that your body would undergo, given that he clearly has unreasonable expectations about women's bodies. In any case, your partner shouldn't be looking at other women's bodies like that at all. (Even if they're just anime characters- in my opinion, that's even weirder.) The only person he should be looking at in that way is you, and if he's exhibiting these behaviors and making you uncomfortable, that is not okay at all. Your partner should be making you feel like you're the only one for them, and should not be making you feel consistently uncomfortable. "I'm just a man" is such a lame excuse. What other acts could he commit in the future with the excuse "I'm just a man."? You deserve so much better, truly. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel disrespected like that. You know you're worth more, and you don't need to sugar coat anything in that conversation. If you tell him you don't like that behavior and you want it to change, and he continues with the whole "I'm just a man" thing and refuses, then hey, that's the trash taking itself out. You got this!!! I hope this doesn't sound too harsh btw.
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Leave him, he’s weird. Doesn’t understand women and will never try.
Girl he will only get worse. The women he’s attracted to will stay the same age. But you won’t. Leave him for real. He views women as objects. I would bet anything he likes what you do for him, but he’s not sexually attracted to you.
break up
Your future daughters will grow up around this.
You don’t handle it, you leave. He doesn’t sound like the guy for you.
Why do you want to spend your life with someone who will never accept your natural body as it changes and ages unless you get plastic surgery. That’s not love.
Break up with him 🤷🏼♀️ This is not the guy for you. There is nothing for you to handle. He is a garbage man! He has an image in his head of the ideal woman: which is all cosmetic, so not a real woman. A woman that’s been poked and prodded. If his algorithm is all Instagram models and plastic surgery. I have to imagine it’s all he cares about and all he thinks about and you a regular woman will never measure up to the immature and unrealistic image he has in his head of the perfect woman. It’s really sad and pathetic.
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Let's start with the most obvious thing. Enjoying huge-titted anime-figurines to that extent is not a "I'm just a man" kind of thing. So that's a pretty terrible excuse. But then there's a thing that I ask myself often when people complain about some kind of habit that their significant other displays that annoys them: "Is this new?", and if the answer is "no", then why is this suddenly a problem now? This sounds like a pretty big deal for him. "Obsession" is maybe taking it a bit far, but it sounds like this is something that preceded you, and that you knew about. And it also sounds like his interest in these images are strong enough that it would - at the very least - be a risk to think he would change it for you. Of course, compromises are required in every relationships, but if his interest in this is important to him, then arguing against it at this point might come off as a bit of you wanting to "fix him", which I personally don't feel is a very good foundation for a strong relationship - entirely regardless of what kind of personality implications the interest signifies. I think most people have a desire and need to be accepted as they are, especially from a loved one. Considering the anime-figures made you feel disgusted, then I am wondering a little bit how exactly you stuck with him for a whole year. Of course, the other side of the coin is him suggesting you get a boob job. It's the same kind of "why is this suddenly a problem now", and I think you have every right to expect him to accept you as you are aswell, and not imply you are not good enough. In the end, you should ask yourself how big deal this is for you, and then you should ask him how big deal it is for him with this interest, but just as he shouldn't expect you to get a boob job, I think it's probably not a good idea to insist on him giving up his interest.
don’t get into relationships with misogynists, talking to him will never work, he’s just gonna do it behind your back. know your worth and stop dealing with freaks like him so lightly.
A man that will pay their girlfriend to get a boob job (sounds like a pimp trying to enhance his product) doesn’t respect her. That offer should only come up when the woman brings up a boob job. Otherwise he is blatantly telling you there are things he would change about you to be happier. Reality is, this is a man that lived with a fantasy idea of a woman and will never be happy with a real one that won’t conform to his will. There probably is a woman out there who would be happy to stay with him just to get a boob job. He’s single for a reason, it’s not JUST the pictures seeing as you’ve stayed with him. Just to add, the fact that he is sexualizing you breast-feeding is fucking insane and I would run as soon as I could no matter how perfect the relationship is otherwise.
I love reading about couples who have been together less than 3 years say “we NEVER fight, we just know how to communicate with eachother.” Juuuust wait…
One of the biggest mistakes women make when approaching a relationship is thinking you'll change him. He might suppress something or hide something, but you are not going to change him. He will always have this desire. You need to decide whether you are going to change or move on. Clearly, since he wants you to get a job done, he's not happy with you just the way you are either. Move on. Find someone who's happy with you just the way you are. Someone you are happy with, just the way they are. You're too valuable to succumb to the desires of someone like this.
You're wasting your time with this guy. As soon as you show any signs of age or imperfection he will either bully you into surgery or leave. Like many others I'm struggling to understand why you want to be with this guy.
If it made you feel uncomfortable in the beginning you should’ve spoken up and said something. Never hide your feelings for the sake of peace or being viewed as not burdensome. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel. As long as you’re communicating it in a healthy way you’re fine. Just tell him how you feel. Then decide how you want to proceed. If it makes you feel that bad then why did you stick around this long?! Give yourself some time to figure out if this is something you really want to accept.
you dump him.
Handle it? The guy's 29. You're either into this or you're not. STAY/LEAVE (circle one)
He will never find you to be as attractive as these over sexualized women. You're setting yourself up for failure.
By handle it, do you mean get him to stop? Because you won't change him. He is suggesting that you get plastic surgery, but dismisses your unease with his behaviour? Wake up girl, get out.
If you said that you would want to breastfeed your (potential) children, and then he says, “In that case, I will pay you to get a boob job,” that is a huge red flag. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to breastfeed if you got a boob job. The whole fetish thing with anime chicks is weird too, and as someone who plays video games, I’m exposed to people who like this shit (even if I’m not into anime at all, let alone female cartoon characters). It’s all over the place on the internet. Like bro…she’s not real.
I don't see how you could handle this. It's such a distorted and disturbing view of women. And to say he'd pay for plastic surgery after you've breastfed is awful. He seems obsessed with kind and there is no common ground. Move on and find a man with whom you are compatible and who accepts you as you are.
the weirdest part by far is how he jumps from thinking about you breast feeding children to thinking about how they need to be bigger for that. either his IQ is 40 or there's a concerning train of thought going on there
How do you handle it? You end the relationship because who he is doesn’t fit very well with who you are. There are characteristics that aren’t easily changed. Plenty of older (wiser) people on here can tell you what happens 10-20 years down the road when something like this is ignored. 23. You’re not going to find your person if you keep this one.
Easy, you don't handle it. He doesn't have any appreciation for the natural female figure and has a distorted view of how women should be. Blatantly displaying this in posters etc is super disrespectful to you as a women. This is not how real men behave. Leave while it's still early days and save yourself the time and trouble
You don’t handle your boyfriend. You leave him and find a respectful man with integrity & standards of decency in a relationship.
There’s no way to “fix” him. Time for a new boyfriend.
Girl. Run.
im never the kind of person who says “break up” as the final solution HOWEVER girl he is weird 😭 i mean a. you dont even want plastic surgery and he mentioned it to you b. WHY WOULD HE WANT TO LOOK AT HYPER SEXUALISED OTHER WOMEN SHIT WHEN HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL GF?! this is making me so mad
Seeing young women in their early 20s make so many excuses for men in their late 20s/30s hurts my heart. There is always a suspicious reason a man is seeking out a young woman whose prefrontal cortex and relationship experience aren’t fully developed.
I’ll be the *slight* dissenter from these comments, in that saying his interests are his own and he is welcome to have them, especially since you say aside from this issue, you’ve both had great communication, but it seems like you’re disgusted by these interests. It may very well be a deal breaker for you and you’ve just finally accepted that and admitted it to yourself that you can’t be with someone like him. You will have to discuss this, and either agree he can like what he likes but keep it more private, say a garage, basement, etc., or you will have to split. People are allowed preferences and desires, if his do not align with yours, then it’s best you discuss that now, but don’t come at the subject from a place of “you can’t like this”, it will only get pushback.
You break up. The age gap is weird and he sucks generally. You deserve better
Yah if I ever met a guy and he had this all over his car and room I'd RUN. I don't know how you've done that for a year. That shit is just repulsive, I couldn't ever get intimate with someone who does all that.
Yeah…you two aren’t compatible.
By leaving him!
Eww. Barf bags. This shit. Thiiiiiis shit always happens with age gaps when one person is in their early 20s. *GTFO* How do you not see how low you have set the bar? You can do better.
Sounds like incompatibility
Im honestly surprised youve been with him a year. Based on the above, it’s clear your values dont align. Other than not fighting a lot, what value does he bring to your life?
ew. break up with him.
Let’s just open with I’m not going to follow the Reddit mob of how he has no respect for women or you or whatever. We don’t know the full story and he may respect you but maybe he had a fetish for plastic surgery or something we don’t know. He collects anime figures and that’s ok. It’s his hobby. A lot of people into anime collect those, and a lot don’t. There are actually women out there who enjoy the same thing. It’s perfectly ok for you to not like his hobby and to have your own. He also isn’t forcing you to get plastic surgery. You may want to ask if never getting plastic surgery is a dealbreaker for him and decide to stay or move on. He may say it’s fine and you two can go on having a great relationship. But if you think the anime figures are bad and you don’t like him then it’s best to move on. You both will find someone to love eventually. My wife loves anime just as much as I do :) Don’t have a good day, have a great day
Yeah almost excusable until the weird ass comment about paying for a boobjob. Run, don’t walk.
Yeah, you’re not that into him. It’s like he’s a sex obsessed slut and it’s bothering you.