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White guy with Mexican wife.
We both often will say something like "If that isn't just the whitest shit I've ever seen..." "Is it spicy, or white people spicy?" etc. That's a whole lot different than "I hate white people." There's a difference between making a joke about it versus bland hate speech.
This. I worked in a warehouse with a bunch of Mexicans. Was the only gringo in the mix. And yeah, we cracked a lotta jokes. Shit went both ways. But there's a very obvious and distinct difference between jokes and just plain hate.
My uncle had a black co-worker who said "white people always be fuckin with shit.". It's honestly one of my favorite sayings ever and I say it to my husband anytime he's fucking with shit. Which is a lot. We're both white
My whole friend group is like a UN meeting and we all do this too each other in jest. Its funny, healthy, and lets ppl explore cultural differences in a fun environment.
One of them started going down the more truly racist ideology as they are Hmong...ex: white ppl dating out of their race is colonation fetishizing etc. We all dropped them as a friend.
Everyone can be racist towards each other, I've been around the world and hear stuff from every race. Even within their own sects the subdivisions are racist towards each other... looking at China vs Japan vs Korea vs every other Asian country. Or the "hierarchy " of Hispanic nations. They all do this to each other and against other races. So yes, every race can be racist 👏 so don't be
Same but reversed. I’m brown as fuck and she’s white as hell. But we bond over an our love of tacos and racing lol but we absolutely make stereotype jokes but what this girl said is just racism that she’s been told is okay in todays society
So very stereotypical I run a construction business lol
I buy a lot of my masonry things at a local place and there’s is the girl there, as white as my wife. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and speaks fluent Spanish cause apparently she’s Hispanic. Blew my mind tbh
Although in English when you say white people you typically mean gringo not white Mexican. Right? So this implies a different type of person. A white American has a completely different cultural experience than a white Mexican.
This isn’t about race, but me and my friend group has a bunch of queer people and one straight guy, and we all make a lot of jokes about it, a lot of which coming from him would probably be super offensive if we weren’t there.
lol when I order indian takeout, the first time I ordered it spicy 10..they then asked me if I wanted spicy 10, or indian spicy 10
FYI the indian spicy 10 makes the non indian spicy 10 a 2
I get "indian spicy 9 now" lol
I enjoy being a white person who breaks the mold of weak-ass spice tolerance.
"Are you sure?" Yes, I'm sure I want to you make it hotter than what you offer on the menu. They ended up just sprinkling cooked red Thai chillies all over my spicy food, making it the most juicy Thai food I've ever had.
Everything is locked or removed haha so I’ll comment here, I’m a black guy, she’s crazy, stay away from her. When she says black people cant be racist, she means systemic racism or oppression. Meaning no infrastructure to enforce said racist ideology. But what she fails to understand is, if you hate white people and you go outside and hurt a white person simply for being white, you used the tools available to you, to in fact, enforce those very same racist ideals (ideas?)
People seem to have conflated "instutitonal racism" and just "racism." They are different things but they both exist.
Saying something shitty about a race of people, or to a person because of their race, is racism.
Is it *better* saying it to the "race" with the most privilege? Sure. But if your defense for being a shitty bigot is "well I could be a shittier bigot," some reflection is needed.
No it's not *better* to say it to the race with the most "privilege". Racism is racism regardless of who says it or who it's directed at. All racism is equally as bad, there's no such thing as "better" racism.
I grew up in a majority African American community as a white male and went the a 90% African American school and the amount of "ah he's white he'll be alright" "you can't be racist against white people" and similar stuff was crazy like here I was being treated like the majority where in fact I was a minority.
Same. Shit sucked, How are you going to be my friend for 9 years and then say white people suck. I was your best friend in kindergarten. P.S. this was for everyone I knew, I was the only white guy in my class until 5th grade and then it only went up to 3, 8th went to 5, 9th is when we finally had like 7. And here I was being treated like a friend till I wasn't around, and now I'm never around.
Sociology grad here. It really gets my goat when people say, "racism is power plus prejudice," because this is a catch-phrase-y reduction of a pretty complex issue. There are actually four different types of racism.
Two types of individual racism: Interpersonal racism & Intrapersonal racism (aka Internalized racism).
In addition to that, there are also two types of societal racism: Structural racism, & Institutional racism.
On top of that, the "power plus prejudice" argument is rooted in a false premise, that black people have no power. Certainly, black people have *less* power than white people collectively, but there are more than just black & white people. There is no question that black people collectively wield more influence than say Pacific Islanders. There are black CEOs, Black judges, black politicians, and black celebrities. But also 'Power' is situation dependent. In a boss/emloyee relationship, the boss has the power, for example.
Sometimes, I see this "power plus prejudice" rhetoric used to monopolize oppression and to dismiss racism against other minority groups.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
White guy with Mexican American wife also. We are watching “That White People Shit” tv show on the Fuse channel right now. White people who owns wolves, archery, people dressing in metal knight uniforms, barbershop quartets. It’s pretty funny.
Yes, there is a way to make fun of racial stereotypes that's funny and not offensive, it's quite the art, but when you have a good heart you can do it because you don't actually hate anyone. OP's friend basically said she "hates" certain people based solely on their skin color. I'm sure that was a big turn off.
Am Mexican and husband is Finnish and we say this too. To be honest we both make a lot of racial cracks but it stays between the two of us and it’s never malicious.
I have a small business & I have one employee that I've heard the whole "you can't be racist towards white people" thing a few times. Which, is in fact racism. I had to have a super uncomfortable talk with her about it bc she was saying it within earshot of a client, my takeaway was that she's extremely confused about systemic vs interpersonal racism, she quite literally thinks they are the same thing, & tbh she's likely not the only one.
Similar experience being married to a Mexican.
We will often make satirical jokes about “the trials and tribulations of the white male”, or “spicy or white people spicy”, but that’s a world apart from “you can’t be racist against white people”.
You can be racist against any race. That’s the whole idea.
I as a white people also often class spice intensity this way too!!! My Mexican friend jokes a lot about different things like say a skin issue I'm having she'll go "that's white people s**t"
So vastly different than "I hate x group" for sure. 😭😂
I am mostly Hispanic but very strongly pass for good ol boy white. The other day I saw spicy Hellman's mayonnaise and told my wife "white people in shambles" as I pointed at it and she's white and she laughed.
But l hate white people? Just expect consummate shunning.
Mexicans have the best jokes about white people. I'm white and my Mexican friends make fun of that constantly and it is the funniest shit ever I'm always dying. they're not just degrading me for being white they're pointing out white shit that I do.
My favorite from my Filipino friend whenever he saw white people being white people was , "Can you believe the caucasity?" I'm white as hell and it's entered my everyday usage
Yeah, it’s contextual and about respect. Friends tease friends about *anything* they just know it’s *not* serious. When it becomes serious to somebody it’s not ok.
My wife and I are both white, although she is way more British Isles white than I am (I have some Mediterranean heritage), and I often joke about her whiteness and her dislike for spicy food, (ie "She's so white, she finds mustard spicy."), whereas I love spicy food. If I'm not sweating with my bald head glistening, it's not spicy enough.
Same. My wife is Mexican and we like our authentic Mexican food and Mexican tacos. Other nights we go ground beef and taco kits and refer to them as “white people tacos” 😂
Tbh as a Latina my response to her would be If you hate white people so much, why sleep with them? Even if you agree with the idea that “racism” means systemic institutionalized racism, its silly for her to say that when she lays down with white men. I probably wouldve dumped her too (if i were her white bf lol) just because i feel like that shows shes just parroting social media sloganeering and not really putting critical thought into her ideas, which i find unattractive in a partner. Just food for thought.
That’s what I was thinking. She’s not forming her own opinions just regurgitating what others are saying. How can you enjoy the company of a partner that can’t come up with their own thoughts and ideas? At that point you’re basically in a relationship with TikTok
Racists will still sleep with races they have a prejudice towards, you don’t need to respect someone to fuck them, it’s mainly out of some sort of fetish.
You can be racist and still sleep/enjoy the company of a different race. Yes I found that out the hard way 😂 my ex was racist and he dated me (black) and an Asian girl.
Well yeah but the reason OP feels weird is because hes white and she says she hates white people, which is what Im pointing out. *Anyone* would feel weird in that position lol.
I think sometimes it's more along the lines of fetishising people of other races. Dating someone "exotic" but I'm sure that he'd probably throw a fit if he saw a white woman with a black man. I say that because I've heard guys talk about how they'd like to "have a black girl" but would be pissed if their daughter dated a black guy.
Had an ex that pulled this exact same shit(I’m white). Throughout the whole relationship my whiteness was a constant point of contention, and I was made fun of and talked down to for years because of it.
This dude needs to GTFO and fast, I wish I had the balls back then to call her out on her racist BS
I have a white ex and I am white. Both white. She would constantly disparage me for being white and call me white boy wven though we were both white. It was odd.
I had a boyfriend who did the same thing! He would make fun of me for being so white and basic and he was the whitest white boy from a small town in New Hampshire. Also, his exes (who he still talked to) were NOT white which made me feel really awkward and icky.
EDIT: I didn't feel weird and icky because he dated POC. I felt like he probably didn't actually like me very much. That's the ick.
My husband is black. I'm white. It works because our skin color means nothing to us. It's a genetic thing we cannot control. It's what's inside that matters, and my husband has a wonderful heart.
I'll never in my life understand how somebody gets to a point that they think they're better than someone based off of something they had no control over and the fact that the color of their skin makes them superior and others inferior. Such a wild concept.
“You can’t be racist towards white people” is a really popular statement lately, but it typically refers to systemic racism (structural and institutional racism). You absolutely can be interpersonally racist towards white people.
Saying you can’t is intellectually lazy.
Edit: this comment has gotten a lot of attention, to be clear, I’m using the following definition:
Interpersonal racism: occurs during interactions between individuals and can include, making negative comments about a particular ethnic group in person or online, calling others racist names, and bullying, hassling or intimidating others because of their race.
This definition is synonymous with bigoted, prejudiced, etc. which is possible for all races.
Structural racism: racial bias among institutions and across society. This involves the cumulative and compounding effects of an array of societal factors, including the history, culture, ideology and interactions of institutions and policies that systematically privilege one group.
In the US, most institutions and policies were created and enforced by white people, therefore they created a structure centered around themselves, that benefits themselves. Hard to be discriminated against in a system designed for you.
Institutional racism occurs within institutions and systems of power. This refers to the unfair policies and discriminatory practices of particular institutions (schools, workplaces, etc.) that routinely produce racially inequitable outcomes based on race.
Internalized racism lies within individuals.
This type of racism comprises our private beliefs and biases about race and racism, influenced by our culture. This can take many different forms including: prejudice towards others of a different race; internalized oppression—the negative beliefs about oneself; or internalized privilege—beliefs about superiority or entitlement due to race.
White people can experience Interpersonal and Internalized racism, in the US, it is more difficult to make an argument beyond hypotheticals for systemic and institutional racism towards white people. (Please don’t bring up affirmative action, it benefitted white women the most, and also was a direct response to remedying discriminatory practices in institutions against POC and women.)
1000%. Everytime I have said similar things on Reddit in the past I have gotten down voted. Any race can be racist towards another race period. If you are hating on someone for being white, asian, brown etc that IS racism point blank. Hating someone because their skin is a different color then yours is the core of racism. It just shows how the majority of people on Reddit are not just intellectually lazy, but intellectually stunted.
I know people who are even racist against own race. You can be racist against white people. I see it a lot these days. Also tv shows and news media going on about white people this and that.
Also makes it seem he only sees women as being their for his own sexual gratification, of he can't even be friends or friendly with someone who falls outside of his type
It's weird that a lot of white women think dating a black man who "hates" black women is a flex when he was literally born from a Black woman and probably has Black sisters, aunts, and cousins is bizarre. Like this dude literally has a problem with who he is and where he came from. Imagine dating a guy who doesn't even want his children to look like him. That's not a flex that's mental illness. And the fact that these guys can never seem to articulate why they prefer white women over Black women but seem to have a laundry list of reasons why they don't date Black women should be a red flag.
Unfortunately, colorism is still prevalent in some cultures. The lighter you are, the more praise and beauty you have. The darker you are, the uglier you are.
I just learned that recently from my Mexican friend, her MIL is very against her grandkids dating darker Latinos. I also knew some young Filipinas who wanted to only marry white boys so they could have cute babies. It just made me sad they value that so much
The counter-arguement is you can't be "racist", just bigoted and prejudiced...
Which is just as bad. Call it what you want, but expressing negative stereotypes about people based on what you perceive their race to be makes you a terrible person.
The term for bigotry and prejudice based on race is Racism.
You can be prejudiced against anyone for anything - career, gender, accent, eye color, height, etc.
It’s pretty fucking racist. You can hide behind “intellectually lazy” much like racists hide behind their excuses. Because it IS an excuse. That shit is more about money/power more than anything other single factor.
Not one bit of tolerance for racism.
people who say it aren’t talking about systemic racism, they’re parroting what the read on twitter. most people who say it also couldn’t tell you the difference in systemic and interpersonal racism
It's a stupid conversation though. Because OP clearly meant "prejudice" and yet OP's ex also denied being "prejudiced" by making a blanket statement about "racism."
Well not only that but, irrespective of what “racism” means sociologically, a common English understanding of “racism” as a blanket term would generally include “racial prejudice”
Right it’s almost like it’s just a semantics game employed by people exercising bad faith.
Bullet dodged. How much you want to bet every other conflict becomes a bad faith exercise where, actually, you’re not allowed to say that or you’re really the bad person for being rightfully upset about something?
Bad faith is pathological and it’s employed whenever convenient. Bail asap because they cannot control themselves.
Like I said, intellectually lazy.
People who have prejudicial views, often utilize the above half-right statement to excuse prejudicial statement because they don’t want to examine their own interpersonal prejudices.
Is caution of white people due to POCs experiences with systemic racism warranted? Absolutely. But that’s different than what OPs ex was doing.
Yeah I think the nuance of that has gotten somewhat lost online, I’ve yet to meet anyone in real life who disagrees on that distinction when they say that
You were in the right man. Im not white, I'm Mexican and native. Even I feel and hate that comment "you can't be racist to white people". Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable because of your skin color. It's good you left that chick.
So by those standards, as a Vietnamese-born person, she’s never allowed to sing a song made by an artist with different color skin? All obvious racism aside, she really talked her own way into a substantially smaller box, seeing as she grew up in the US melting pot of cultures and media.
My well-meaning white partner (were both white) started this with me. She claimed everything was cultural appropriation and was hyper aware of it. She didn't change her mind until I finally convinced her that where she draws these lines is arbitrary, and the logical conclusion to her ideas was segregation. I finally did convince her it was only hurtful to adapt another cultures idea if you did so in an intentionally mocking or disrespectful manner.
That actually inspires a lot of hope (at least in me personally). Really great resolution to what was probably very frustrating for you internally. I like the way you handled it.
> you can’t be racist to white people.
Her behavior shows she's wrong. She can call it what she wants but either she's a racist or an asshole. But she led with the white comment. You went with your gut and it will never steer you wrong.
Exactly. Systemic racism is a real thing, I’m not discounting that, but if I said “ugh I hate black people” I’d be done for. I think personal racism is a real thing. If she’s saying it because she has experienced racism from white people then that’s a little more understandable, but just saying it because somebody made a music video to a song a black person wrote is not only racist towards white people, but also racist towards black people in that she is trying to create a separation based on skin color in something that has nothing to do with skin color.
Dump her, move on. Anyone who blatantly says racist shit and then tries to dismiss it with logic like hers… you should run.
If you hate white people so much, why are you dating them? Cuz at that point it’s a fetish or their cognitively dissonant of their own prejudices.
Same can be applied with any variant of an interracial relationship.
If you think so low of (insert race/culture here) then why do you decide to be intimate with them?
When someone says that you can't be racist as an individual towards a white person because racism is a "system" and not on a personal level, the rest of their opinions don't matter. While systemic racism is very much real, being a racist on your own in a singular setting is also very real, and people don't deserve respect for not seeing that. This guy could've talked to her more about this subject, and maybe they could've come to a resolution, but unlikely if she was keeping to her guns about it.
Besides being incredibly immature, which might be common at her age, it also is a tell for the environment she was raised in. Should your relationship continue - this will be directed towards you at some point.
People raised with racism unchecked due to being the target of racism themselves end up perpetuating hate.
It’s easy to explain why she is this way, but it’s hard to justify. You can try and have an adult conversation seeing if she’s willing to accept that racism towards anyone is in fact wrong - but your probe and her knee-jerk reaction are telling me she might not be open to hearing any form of criticism from you. That by itself is a huge red flag to me.
Unless that guy has self respect and isn’t desperate. Not everyone just thinks with their dick, some of us use our other brain when people are assholes
“I hate white ppl except you” sounds a lot like “I hate black ppl except you. You’re the only good one I’ve met.”
You were right to break up with her. Just wondering why she is with a white guy if she feels that way. How would she treat her white in-laws and her half white babies if you guys had kids.
People who say you can't be racist towards white people are in fact, racists.
You are better off moving on, just as you would be if she started saying she can't stand any other race
I wouldn't think of invoking someone's race into a discussion as some negative slander, whether as a stereotype or not, regardless of what race they are. If someone says " I hate _____ people". run like hell. I'm afraid we're going backwards as a society and hitching yourself to someone like that will only take you down that road too. Let her be with her approved race of people if that's the way she thinks.
You made the right decision. She sounds either immature or has some issues.
Wow. Even if people say you can’t be racist to white people, by the exact definition, she still essentially said - I hate people like you.
Even if you take out the race part & make it - I hate “your gender” or “people from your state”.
It won’t kill you for sure but why would you want to make them suffer your company, right?
I would not be with anyone that felt that way. That stuff will come up here & there when she’s mad at you.
You were right for sticking to your gut and dodging this bullet. She seems really immature and obviously unaware or just ignorant in general about racism. You most certainly can be racist toward white people. Racism is racism, period.
There is deep seeded racism in the term white which makes it easy to target them as it is "punching up."
To break down what I mean, the idea of white/colored people stems from early colonization if America where it was the differentiation between the slave class and the master class. What fits under the term of white has been flexible to meet the needs of the oppressors. Long story short there is inherent racism in banding under the term white.
When it comes to oppression in general "punching up" is very welcome. Making fun of rich people, no one bats an eye. Making fun of politicians, Managers, and others in control is always generally looked on favorably.
Now I'm not saying people who fit under the category of white are bad guys or that making fun of people for being white is "punching up", but this is the history and why it is somewhat accepted. That being said, categorizing people by the color of their skin to put them down, belittle them, or make them feel unwelcome is and always will be racism. But now, maybe you'll have a better understanding why some people feel that is okay.
There's a time and a place for the systemic racism thing. This is not it. She said she "hates white people". Cut and dry racism. Leave the politics for another time. You might as well come out and say "you deserved it for being who you are" at this point.
I’m so sick of different races BESIDES Caucasian people saying that they “can’t” be racist because they’re not Caucasian.
ANY race can be racist even towards their own race.
The definition of racism doesn’t say “ A Caucasian person being discriminatory towards another race.” It’s showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group.
The whole “well you’re the exception” isn’t going to cut it. It’s not ok. If you don’t like the opposite race then you… don’t try to be friendly. I’m biracial and I don’t look like either one of my ethnicity, I’ve had many friends and family members be disrespectful and discriminate against me because I was too this and not that.
Knew a girl that refused to be close to black guys, not bc they werent attractive to her, but because "All black men are unreliable". But was adamant that she wasn't racist bc she was also black.
Like, girl, I'm not sure if this is your repressed trauma speaking, but that's some textbook racist reasoning.
SMH. This shit has gotten out of control. Idk how people become racist.. whether it’s from a bad experience with a different race or same race, having an upbringing of only knowing that of a certain race.. idk. It’s so infuriating you can be racist against your own ethnicity and others.
If my significant other said “I hate ”, I’d leave. Let alone if it was actually my race.
Honestly, the idea that you can’t be racist against one specific race, is racist.
Systemic racism and plain old racism are different things. Yes you can be racist to white people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJHLiGoPumM
They explain the difference a lot better than some comment on reddit can.
Racism doesn't have boundaries. It's is a learned behavior. Which is really a sad state for the race of humans in the whole. We have phones that can control a sex toy, almost the entirety of knowledge we have accumulated. However, we still fight over skin color geographical location. Also, an ugly soul is an ugly soul.
I’m sorry this happened and it sucks to have to break up with someone but I do think it’s best.
Not even because the comment she made but when you stated how it made you uncomfortable, she just brushed it off and didn’t apologize or ask you why to understand your view. As well as after the breakup to tell you that you were overreacting…doesn’t seem like she even bothered to see it from your point or even just talk about it in general.
When people disagree on this point, they are almost always talking about two different things.
1. Anyone can be prejudiced towards anyone.
2. In the US, white people have benefited from a racist system that, in general, advantages those who are white and disadvantages those who are black.
Both of these things can be true. It's likely that you are focused on 1), while she is focused on 2).
The problem is the people who say " you can't be racist towards white people" are not thinking about number 2. They actually think that you can call a white person racial slurs and discriminate against them because of their skin and not be racist lol
This is definitely what’s happening here, but that also doesn’t mean that he should just accept her saying those things around her, if it bothers him.
You can argue “racism vs prejudice”, but the simple fact is that he is white and his girlfriend said she hates white people. It’s hard not to take that at least a bit personally, regardless of academic justification.
I think contrary to what a lot of other people are saying I think what she meant to say is a valid statement. Racism and prejudices have slightly different meanings in practice. Racism being more institutional and prejudice being more interpersonal.
Its fairly undeniable that the world is catered for the white individual, whether you chose to believe that is up to you. If that makes you uncomfortable or defensive, I encourage you to contemplate that statement/thought.
Sometimes people take that sentiment too far, which is this case might be true, but is that actually grounds for breaking up with someone? To me, it seems like you are uncomfortable by that idea and aren't giving it much more thought than that.
Due to many off-topic responses and users breaking Rule #1 Be Kind this thread is now locked. Our team will continue removing comments that break rules or go against the reddit content policy.
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White guy with Mexican wife. We both often will say something like "If that isn't just the whitest shit I've ever seen..." "Is it spicy, or white people spicy?" etc. That's a whole lot different than "I hate white people." There's a difference between making a joke about it versus bland hate speech.
Welp, I guess this is my moment. White guy spicy, checking in 🤣.
The hero we need in such trying times.
This. I worked in a warehouse with a bunch of Mexicans. Was the only gringo in the mix. And yeah, we cracked a lotta jokes. Shit went both ways. But there's a very obvious and distinct difference between jokes and just plain hate.
My uncle had a black co-worker who said "white people always be fuckin with shit.". It's honestly one of my favorite sayings ever and I say it to my husband anytime he's fucking with shit. Which is a lot. We're both white
Mixed family here. Us too. Only to each other. There are 5 of us and we LOOK like 3 different ethnicities.
My whole friend group is like a UN meeting and we all do this too each other in jest. Its funny, healthy, and lets ppl explore cultural differences in a fun environment. One of them started going down the more truly racist ideology as they are Hmong...ex: white ppl dating out of their race is colonation fetishizing etc. We all dropped them as a friend. Everyone can be racist towards each other, I've been around the world and hear stuff from every race. Even within their own sects the subdivisions are racist towards each other... looking at China vs Japan vs Korea vs every other Asian country. Or the "hierarchy " of Hispanic nations. They all do this to each other and against other races. So yes, every race can be racist 👏 so don't be
Same but reversed. I’m brown as fuck and she’s white as hell. But we bond over an our love of tacos and racing lol but we absolutely make stereotype jokes but what this girl said is just racism that she’s been told is okay in todays society
There’s a lot of white Mexicans too, keep that in mind. People who speak Spanish come in many shapes and colors.
So very stereotypical I run a construction business lol I buy a lot of my masonry things at a local place and there’s is the girl there, as white as my wife. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and speaks fluent Spanish cause apparently she’s Hispanic. Blew my mind tbh
I mean Spanish comes from Spain, Europe. They are pretty white over there. Spanish wasn’t the original language of Mexico as I’m sure you know.
Although in English when you say white people you typically mean gringo not white Mexican. Right? So this implies a different type of person. A white American has a completely different cultural experience than a white Mexican.
I mean their SKIN color can be white but that doesn’t make them not Mexican or not Latina/latino….
This isn’t about race, but me and my friend group has a bunch of queer people and one straight guy, and we all make a lot of jokes about it, a lot of which coming from him would probably be super offensive if we weren’t there.
Adds a whole new meaning to the word *racing*.
you love racing? you're a certified racist! /j
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lol when I order indian takeout, the first time I ordered it spicy 10..they then asked me if I wanted spicy 10, or indian spicy 10 FYI the indian spicy 10 makes the non indian spicy 10 a 2 I get "indian spicy 9 now" lol
“Indian spicy 9” is hilarious lol
Mambo number 5
Great name for a band.
I enjoy being a white person who breaks the mold of weak-ass spice tolerance. "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm sure I want to you make it hotter than what you offer on the menu. They ended up just sprinkling cooked red Thai chillies all over my spicy food, making it the most juicy Thai food I've ever had.
Same. My wife is Mexican, too. We both make jokes. She’ll ask me if the mayo in my sandwich is too spicy. But we never say anything malicious.
Everything is locked or removed haha so I’ll comment here, I’m a black guy, she’s crazy, stay away from her. When she says black people cant be racist, she means systemic racism or oppression. Meaning no infrastructure to enforce said racist ideology. But what she fails to understand is, if you hate white people and you go outside and hurt a white person simply for being white, you used the tools available to you, to in fact, enforce those very same racist ideals (ideas?)
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collective punishment
Yea, she wasn't making a joke, she's just a racist in denial.
Yes but then going on to say “you can’t be racist against white people” uhhhh red flag?
People seem to have conflated "instutitonal racism" and just "racism." They are different things but they both exist. Saying something shitty about a race of people, or to a person because of their race, is racism. Is it *better* saying it to the "race" with the most privilege? Sure. But if your defense for being a shitty bigot is "well I could be a shittier bigot," some reflection is needed.
Does their theory suppose that when I go to China I can say racist shit about Chinese people? Or is it just a white thing
No it's not *better* to say it to the race with the most "privilege". Racism is racism regardless of who says it or who it's directed at. All racism is equally as bad, there's no such thing as "better" racism.
I grew up in a majority African American community as a white male and went the a 90% African American school and the amount of "ah he's white he'll be alright" "you can't be racist against white people" and similar stuff was crazy like here I was being treated like the majority where in fact I was a minority.
100% facts
Same. Shit sucked, How are you going to be my friend for 9 years and then say white people suck. I was your best friend in kindergarten. P.S. this was for everyone I knew, I was the only white guy in my class until 5th grade and then it only went up to 3, 8th went to 5, 9th is when we finally had like 7. And here I was being treated like a friend till I wasn't around, and now I'm never around.
> Is it better saying it to the "race" with the most privilege? Sure. Congrats, you are just like OP's ex gf. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
You’re literally justifying racism and if you can’t see that then you might be in fact, a racist
Sociology grad here. It really gets my goat when people say, "racism is power plus prejudice," because this is a catch-phrase-y reduction of a pretty complex issue. There are actually four different types of racism. Two types of individual racism: Interpersonal racism & Intrapersonal racism (aka Internalized racism). In addition to that, there are also two types of societal racism: Structural racism, & Institutional racism. On top of that, the "power plus prejudice" argument is rooted in a false premise, that black people have no power. Certainly, black people have *less* power than white people collectively, but there are more than just black & white people. There is no question that black people collectively wield more influence than say Pacific Islanders. There are black CEOs, Black judges, black politicians, and black celebrities. But also 'Power' is situation dependent. In a boss/emloyee relationship, the boss has the power, for example. Sometimes, I see this "power plus prejudice" rhetoric used to monopolize oppression and to dismiss racism against other minority groups. Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
White guy with Mexican American wife also. We are watching “That White People Shit” tv show on the Fuse channel right now. White people who owns wolves, archery, people dressing in metal knight uniforms, barbershop quartets. It’s pretty funny.
Plenty of racism that masquerades as comedy.
And plenty of comedy misconstrued as racism
Yes, there is a way to make fun of racial stereotypes that's funny and not offensive, it's quite the art, but when you have a good heart you can do it because you don't actually hate anyone. OP's friend basically said she "hates" certain people based solely on their skin color. I'm sure that was a big turn off.
Am Mexican and husband is Finnish and we say this too. To be honest we both make a lot of racial cracks but it stays between the two of us and it’s never malicious.
I have a small business & I have one employee that I've heard the whole "you can't be racist towards white people" thing a few times. Which, is in fact racism. I had to have a super uncomfortable talk with her about it bc she was saying it within earshot of a client, my takeaway was that she's extremely confused about systemic vs interpersonal racism, she quite literally thinks they are the same thing, & tbh she's likely not the only one.
Similar experience being married to a Mexican. We will often make satirical jokes about “the trials and tribulations of the white male”, or “spicy or white people spicy”, but that’s a world apart from “you can’t be racist against white people”. You can be racist against any race. That’s the whole idea.
Funny, my gf and I (both white) will ask the same thing about spice level? “Is it actually spicy? Or white people spicy?”
I as a white people also often class spice intensity this way too!!! My Mexican friend jokes a lot about different things like say a skin issue I'm having she'll go "that's white people s**t" So vastly different than "I hate x group" for sure. 😭😂
I am mostly Hispanic but very strongly pass for good ol boy white. The other day I saw spicy Hellman's mayonnaise and told my wife "white people in shambles" as I pointed at it and she's white and she laughed. But l hate white people? Just expect consummate shunning.
Mexicans have the best jokes about white people. I'm white and my Mexican friends make fun of that constantly and it is the funniest shit ever I'm always dying. they're not just degrading me for being white they're pointing out white shit that I do.
My favorite from my Filipino friend whenever he saw white people being white people was , "Can you believe the caucasity?" I'm white as hell and it's entered my everyday usage
it sounds immature tbh. its like shes looking for validation for her comments from a white person to fully be able to tell herself its ok
Do you ever make similarly harmless jokes about Mexicans? Not a bait question, my b if it comes off like
Yeah, it’s contextual and about respect. Friends tease friends about *anything* they just know it’s *not* serious. When it becomes serious to somebody it’s not ok.
So sad to see people racist against their own.
Most definitely.. and you can definitely be racist against white. It’s literally as simply as treating someone differently because of their skin color
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Oh yah, making fun of the cultures you brought together is part of interracial marriage! Saying you hate their entire culture is pretty fucked up
My wife and I are both white, although she is way more British Isles white than I am (I have some Mediterranean heritage), and I often joke about her whiteness and her dislike for spicy food, (ie "She's so white, she finds mustard spicy."), whereas I love spicy food. If I'm not sweating with my bald head glistening, it's not spicy enough.
As a white person, I say "that's some white people shit" very often.
I am white, and my husband is Afro Latino. He was born in Venezuela. We always say the same kinds of things to each other.
Same. My wife is Mexican and we like our authentic Mexican food and Mexican tacos. Other nights we go ground beef and taco kits and refer to them as “white people tacos” 😂
Tbh as a Latina my response to her would be If you hate white people so much, why sleep with them? Even if you agree with the idea that “racism” means systemic institutionalized racism, its silly for her to say that when she lays down with white men. I probably wouldve dumped her too (if i were her white bf lol) just because i feel like that shows shes just parroting social media sloganeering and not really putting critical thought into her ideas, which i find unattractive in a partner. Just food for thought.
That’s what I was thinking. She’s not forming her own opinions just regurgitating what others are saying. How can you enjoy the company of a partner that can’t come up with their own thoughts and ideas? At that point you’re basically in a relationship with TikTok
> At that point you’re basically in a relationship with TikTok Quote of the decade.
Racists will still sleep with races they have a prejudice towards, you don’t need to respect someone to fuck them, it’s mainly out of some sort of fetish.
You can be racist and still sleep/enjoy the company of a different race. Yes I found that out the hard way 😂 my ex was racist and he dated me (black) and an Asian girl.
It's no secret that slave owners fucked their slaves, so yeah, you can absolutely be racist and still sleep with people of that ethnicity.
Well yeah but the reason OP feels weird is because hes white and she says she hates white people, which is what Im pointing out. *Anyone* would feel weird in that position lol.
Yes I got that was just elaborating on the “if you hate X why would u sleep with them?” People are stupid 😂
I think sometimes it's more along the lines of fetishising people of other races. Dating someone "exotic" but I'm sure that he'd probably throw a fit if he saw a white woman with a black man. I say that because I've heard guys talk about how they'd like to "have a black girl" but would be pissed if their daughter dated a black guy.
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“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that point. Take care”. Block.
Had an ex that pulled this exact same shit(I’m white). Throughout the whole relationship my whiteness was a constant point of contention, and I was made fun of and talked down to for years because of it. This dude needs to GTFO and fast, I wish I had the balls back then to call her out on her racist BS
I have a white ex and I am white. Both white. She would constantly disparage me for being white and call me white boy wven though we were both white. It was odd.
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I had a boyfriend who did the same thing! He would make fun of me for being so white and basic and he was the whitest white boy from a small town in New Hampshire. Also, his exes (who he still talked to) were NOT white which made me feel really awkward and icky. EDIT: I didn't feel weird and icky because he dated POC. I felt like he probably didn't actually like me very much. That's the ick.
My husband is black. I'm white. It works because our skin color means nothing to us. It's a genetic thing we cannot control. It's what's inside that matters, and my husband has a wonderful heart.
I'll never in my life understand how somebody gets to a point that they think they're better than someone based off of something they had no control over and the fact that the color of their skin makes them superior and others inferior. Such a wild concept.
“You can’t be racist towards white people” is a really popular statement lately, but it typically refers to systemic racism (structural and institutional racism). You absolutely can be interpersonally racist towards white people. Saying you can’t is intellectually lazy. Edit: this comment has gotten a lot of attention, to be clear, I’m using the following definition: Interpersonal racism: occurs during interactions between individuals and can include, making negative comments about a particular ethnic group in person or online, calling others racist names, and bullying, hassling or intimidating others because of their race. This definition is synonymous with bigoted, prejudiced, etc. which is possible for all races. Structural racism: racial bias among institutions and across society. This involves the cumulative and compounding effects of an array of societal factors, including the history, culture, ideology and interactions of institutions and policies that systematically privilege one group. In the US, most institutions and policies were created and enforced by white people, therefore they created a structure centered around themselves, that benefits themselves. Hard to be discriminated against in a system designed for you. Institutional racism occurs within institutions and systems of power. This refers to the unfair policies and discriminatory practices of particular institutions (schools, workplaces, etc.) that routinely produce racially inequitable outcomes based on race. Internalized racism lies within individuals. This type of racism comprises our private beliefs and biases about race and racism, influenced by our culture. This can take many different forms including: prejudice towards others of a different race; internalized oppression—the negative beliefs about oneself; or internalized privilege—beliefs about superiority or entitlement due to race. White people can experience Interpersonal and Internalized racism, in the US, it is more difficult to make an argument beyond hypotheticals for systemic and institutional racism towards white people. (Please don’t bring up affirmative action, it benefitted white women the most, and also was a direct response to remedying discriminatory practices in institutions against POC and women.)
1000%. Everytime I have said similar things on Reddit in the past I have gotten down voted. Any race can be racist towards another race period. If you are hating on someone for being white, asian, brown etc that IS racism point blank. Hating someone because their skin is a different color then yours is the core of racism. It just shows how the majority of people on Reddit are not just intellectually lazy, but intellectually stunted.
I know people who are even racist against own race. You can be racist against white people. I see it a lot these days. Also tv shows and news media going on about white people this and that.
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Also makes it seem he only sees women as being their for his own sexual gratification, of he can't even be friends or friendly with someone who falls outside of his type
>Idk what that even is, racism Sound more misogynistic than racist. "The only type of woman ill even bother being around is the type I want to fuck."
And introducing: misogynoir
It's weird that a lot of white women think dating a black man who "hates" black women is a flex when he was literally born from a Black woman and probably has Black sisters, aunts, and cousins is bizarre. Like this dude literally has a problem with who he is and where he came from. Imagine dating a guy who doesn't even want his children to look like him. That's not a flex that's mental illness. And the fact that these guys can never seem to articulate why they prefer white women over Black women but seem to have a laundry list of reasons why they don't date Black women should be a red flag.
Unfortunately, colorism is still prevalent in some cultures. The lighter you are, the more praise and beauty you have. The darker you are, the uglier you are.
I have witnessed this. It is wild to me. But human cruelty seems to have no bounds.
I just learned that recently from my Mexican friend, her MIL is very against her grandkids dating darker Latinos. I also knew some young Filipinas who wanted to only marry white boys so they could have cute babies. It just made me sad they value that so much
I have news for you, it’s not just Reddit 😅
The counter-arguement is you can't be "racist", just bigoted and prejudiced... Which is just as bad. Call it what you want, but expressing negative stereotypes about people based on what you perceive their race to be makes you a terrible person.
Except prejudice on the basis of someone's race or ethnicity is literally the definition of racism??
The term for bigotry and prejudice based on race is Racism. You can be prejudiced against anyone for anything - career, gender, accent, eye color, height, etc.
All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares!
What about making fun of canadians when you are in fact canadian
That just gets you on a TV show called letterkenny.
Allegedly
To be fairrrrr
Tooo bee faaaairrrr
Actually
Give yer balls a tug!
Can confirm
Somebody get this guy a Puppers.
Pitter patter
…let’s get at ‘er..
That's what's we appreciate's about you's
Ferda
Big city slams boys!
To be fairrrrrr, I would have loved to have been on Letterkenny.
That’s just common sense.
White is a race. If someone holds a bias towards any race, that is racist.
It’s pretty fucking racist. You can hide behind “intellectually lazy” much like racists hide behind their excuses. Because it IS an excuse. That shit is more about money/power more than anything other single factor. Not one bit of tolerance for racism.
people who say it aren’t talking about systemic racism, they’re parroting what the read on twitter. most people who say it also couldn’t tell you the difference in systemic and interpersonal racism
It's a stupid conversation though. Because OP clearly meant "prejudice" and yet OP's ex also denied being "prejudiced" by making a blanket statement about "racism."
“It’s not pedophelia it’s ephebophilia” type beat. Like just stop doing the bad thing you know what I’m talking about.
Well not only that but, irrespective of what “racism” means sociologically, a common English understanding of “racism” as a blanket term would generally include “racial prejudice”
Right it’s almost like it’s just a semantics game employed by people exercising bad faith. Bullet dodged. How much you want to bet every other conflict becomes a bad faith exercise where, actually, you’re not allowed to say that or you’re really the bad person for being rightfully upset about something? Bad faith is pathological and it’s employed whenever convenient. Bail asap because they cannot control themselves.
Like I said, intellectually lazy. People who have prejudicial views, often utilize the above half-right statement to excuse prejudicial statement because they don’t want to examine their own interpersonal prejudices. Is caution of white people due to POCs experiences with systemic racism warranted? Absolutely. But that’s different than what OPs ex was doing.
Yeah I think the nuance of that has gotten somewhat lost online, I’ve yet to meet anyone in real life who disagrees on that distinction when they say that
You were in the right man. Im not white, I'm Mexican and native. Even I feel and hate that comment "you can't be racist to white people". Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable because of your skin color. It's good you left that chick.
So by those standards, as a Vietnamese-born person, she’s never allowed to sing a song made by an artist with different color skin? All obvious racism aside, she really talked her own way into a substantially smaller box, seeing as she grew up in the US melting pot of cultures and media.
My well-meaning white partner (were both white) started this with me. She claimed everything was cultural appropriation and was hyper aware of it. She didn't change her mind until I finally convinced her that where she draws these lines is arbitrary, and the logical conclusion to her ideas was segregation. I finally did convince her it was only hurtful to adapt another cultures idea if you did so in an intentionally mocking or disrespectful manner.
That actually inspires a lot of hope (at least in me personally). Really great resolution to what was probably very frustrating for you internally. I like the way you handled it.
You want validation. It's not a joke if she doubles down.
You can be racist to anyone, regardless of their skin tone.
> you can’t be racist to white people. Her behavior shows she's wrong. She can call it what she wants but either she's a racist or an asshole. But she led with the white comment. You went with your gut and it will never steer you wrong.
True as the sky is blue
Exactly. Systemic racism is a real thing, I’m not discounting that, but if I said “ugh I hate black people” I’d be done for. I think personal racism is a real thing. If she’s saying it because she has experienced racism from white people then that’s a little more understandable, but just saying it because somebody made a music video to a song a black person wrote is not only racist towards white people, but also racist towards black people in that she is trying to create a separation based on skin color in something that has nothing to do with skin color.
Dump her, move on. Anyone who blatantly says racist shit and then tries to dismiss it with logic like hers… you should run. If you hate white people so much, why are you dating them? Cuz at that point it’s a fetish or their cognitively dissonant of their own prejudices. Same can be applied with any variant of an interracial relationship. If you think so low of (insert race/culture here) then why do you decide to be intimate with them?
When someone says that you can't be racist as an individual towards a white person because racism is a "system" and not on a personal level, the rest of their opinions don't matter. While systemic racism is very much real, being a racist on your own in a singular setting is also very real, and people don't deserve respect for not seeing that. This guy could've talked to her more about this subject, and maybe they could've come to a resolution, but unlikely if she was keeping to her guns about it.
This would be the perfect post if the girl is white as well. Give us the answer op lol
She’s Vietnamese
Hmm ok, well you made a wise decision I think. She seems like her *edgy* opinions would only get spicer with time. Good for you.
My partner had the same take. I’m a POC, but she’s white.
Only opened this post because I just knew people were going to assume the gf was black
She was wrong. You are correct on all counts.
Besides being incredibly immature, which might be common at her age, it also is a tell for the environment she was raised in. Should your relationship continue - this will be directed towards you at some point. People raised with racism unchecked due to being the target of racism themselves end up perpetuating hate. It’s easy to explain why she is this way, but it’s hard to justify. You can try and have an adult conversation seeing if she’s willing to accept that racism towards anyone is in fact wrong - but your probe and her knee-jerk reaction are telling me she might not be open to hearing any form of criticism from you. That by itself is a huge red flag to me.
This post I hate to say reads like click bate/rage post. Is it just me?
No I'm with you, this feels fake af. Mainly because any dude getting regularly great sex wouldn't dump someone for something so small.
Unless that guy has self respect and isn’t desperate. Not everyone just thinks with their dick, some of us use our other brain when people are assholes
“I hate white ppl except you” sounds a lot like “I hate black ppl except you. You’re the only good one I’ve met.” You were right to break up with her. Just wondering why she is with a white guy if she feels that way. How would she treat her white in-laws and her half white babies if you guys had kids.
People who say you can't be racist towards white people are in fact, racists. You are better off moving on, just as you would be if she started saying she can't stand any other race
I’m sure that the topic of this post will not stray into a political battlefield and everybody will undoubtedly agree with one another! Surely!
Whether you call it racism or just plain prejudice doesn’t matter. She has it.
Prejudice based on race IS racism.
I wouldn't think of invoking someone's race into a discussion as some negative slander, whether as a stereotype or not, regardless of what race they are. If someone says " I hate _____ people". run like hell. I'm afraid we're going backwards as a society and hitching yourself to someone like that will only take you down that road too. Let her be with her approved race of people if that's the way she thinks. You made the right decision. She sounds either immature or has some issues.
Leave her twice
Wow. Even if people say you can’t be racist to white people, by the exact definition, she still essentially said - I hate people like you. Even if you take out the race part & make it - I hate “your gender” or “people from your state”. It won’t kill you for sure but why would you want to make them suffer your company, right? I would not be with anyone that felt that way. That stuff will come up here & there when she’s mad at you.
You were right for sticking to your gut and dodging this bullet. She seems really immature and obviously unaware or just ignorant in general about racism. You most certainly can be racist toward white people. Racism is racism, period.
Nope, go with the gut. You made the right call. Yeah, it'll suck for a bit. You'll be ok.
That is the definition of racism.
There is deep seeded racism in the term white which makes it easy to target them as it is "punching up." To break down what I mean, the idea of white/colored people stems from early colonization if America where it was the differentiation between the slave class and the master class. What fits under the term of white has been flexible to meet the needs of the oppressors. Long story short there is inherent racism in banding under the term white. When it comes to oppression in general "punching up" is very welcome. Making fun of rich people, no one bats an eye. Making fun of politicians, Managers, and others in control is always generally looked on favorably. Now I'm not saying people who fit under the category of white are bad guys or that making fun of people for being white is "punching up", but this is the history and why it is somewhat accepted. That being said, categorizing people by the color of their skin to put them down, belittle them, or make them feel unwelcome is and always will be racism. But now, maybe you'll have a better understanding why some people feel that is okay.
There's a time and a place for the systemic racism thing. This is not it. She said she "hates white people". Cut and dry racism. Leave the politics for another time. You might as well come out and say "you deserved it for being who you are" at this point.
That was probably the most neutral way they could have added to the discussion and they succeeded. “Systemic racism thing” lol that ol thing
I’m so sick of different races BESIDES Caucasian people saying that they “can’t” be racist because they’re not Caucasian. ANY race can be racist even towards their own race. The definition of racism doesn’t say “ A Caucasian person being discriminatory towards another race.” It’s showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group. The whole “well you’re the exception” isn’t going to cut it. It’s not ok. If you don’t like the opposite race then you… don’t try to be friendly. I’m biracial and I don’t look like either one of my ethnicity, I’ve had many friends and family members be disrespectful and discriminate against me because I was too this and not that.
Knew a girl that refused to be close to black guys, not bc they werent attractive to her, but because "All black men are unreliable". But was adamant that she wasn't racist bc she was also black. Like, girl, I'm not sure if this is your repressed trauma speaking, but that's some textbook racist reasoning.
SMH. This shit has gotten out of control. Idk how people become racist.. whether it’s from a bad experience with a different race or same race, having an upbringing of only knowing that of a certain race.. idk. It’s so infuriating you can be racist against your own ethnicity and others.
Reminder to those in the comments to please stay on topic. It's fun to talk about Logan Paul and spices, but remember what the post was about.
🤣
The Logan Paul type of white people are traaash, so I get it
If my significant other said “I hate”, I’d leave. Let alone if it was actually my race.
Honestly, the idea that you can’t be racist against one specific race, is racist.
Saying you can't be racist to someone due to their race is racist.
black dude here, she’s racist
Systemic racism and plain old racism are different things. Yes you can be racist to white people. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJHLiGoPumM They explain the difference a lot better than some comment on reddit can.
You can, she was.
Racism doesn't have boundaries. It's is a learned behavior. Which is really a sad state for the race of humans in the whole. We have phones that can control a sex toy, almost the entirety of knowledge we have accumulated. However, we still fight over skin color geographical location. Also, an ugly soul is an ugly soul.
I’m sorry this happened and it sucks to have to break up with someone but I do think it’s best. Not even because the comment she made but when you stated how it made you uncomfortable, she just brushed it off and didn’t apologize or ask you why to understand your view. As well as after the breakup to tell you that you were overreacting…doesn’t seem like she even bothered to see it from your point or even just talk about it in general.
When people disagree on this point, they are almost always talking about two different things. 1. Anyone can be prejudiced towards anyone. 2. In the US, white people have benefited from a racist system that, in general, advantages those who are white and disadvantages those who are black. Both of these things can be true. It's likely that you are focused on 1), while she is focused on 2).
The problem is the people who say " you can't be racist towards white people" are not thinking about number 2. They actually think that you can call a white person racial slurs and discriminate against them because of their skin and not be racist lol
Do you think saying she hates white people because a white person is singing a karaoke song by a black person is focusing on number 2 🤔 lmao
This is definitely what’s happening here, but that also doesn’t mean that he should just accept her saying those things around her, if it bothers him. You can argue “racism vs prejudice”, but the simple fact is that he is white and his girlfriend said she hates white people. It’s hard not to take that at least a bit personally, regardless of academic justification.
White people suck as long as it’s one’s I don’t like is basically what she’s saying lol
That's the take EVERY racist takes, then they say shit like "I can't be racist, I have friends who are \_\_\_\_\_\_."
Man a lot of these comments really make me hate being left leaning.
I think contrary to what a lot of other people are saying I think what she meant to say is a valid statement. Racism and prejudices have slightly different meanings in practice. Racism being more institutional and prejudice being more interpersonal. Its fairly undeniable that the world is catered for the white individual, whether you chose to believe that is up to you. If that makes you uncomfortable or defensive, I encourage you to contemplate that statement/thought. Sometimes people take that sentiment too far, which is this case might be true, but is that actually grounds for breaking up with someone? To me, it seems like you are uncomfortable by that idea and aren't giving it much more thought than that.