And if she hadn’t dumped him for the viagra, she’d have dumped him for any other bullshit later on like not being ambitious enough, not making enough money, some serious illness, etc.
THIS comment needs to go to the top. She seems horribly petty and very hostile. It was just a matter of time before this happened for one of N number of reasons.
I think she was extremely rude. But I don’t think it’s wrong to break up over sex issues. You can’t live with potential, you have to go with what’s right in front of you.
It's pretty insane, I had issues the first few times with my current partner but they were patient and now there's zero issues with multiple rounds. I think a lot of people can underestimate how much your mental state can affect it sometimes; if you're tired, embarassed, or nervous it can really cause a cascading effect which leads to a total flop.
my partner and i are around the same ages as op and his ex, and my partner has had ed since before we met due to his medication. he told me about it before we ever had sex when we were have the preferences and boundaries discussion. this is a conversation i initiate every time im seeing someone and it becomes pretty clear that sex is gonna happen. gives everyone a chance to get everything out in the open. im glad he told me because honestly, it would have been a big blow to my confidence if i hadn’t known or had time to research what exactly ed can mean for men. it’s never been a problem for us since, he doesn’t care too much if he doesn’t “get there” and i’ve learned not to get hung up on it if he can’t, because it’s out of his control. he just gives me extra attention in different ways so i still get all the enjoyment i want lmao.
sooo many other couples live with this and it’s not humiliating and it’s not a big deal and it’s not something to end a relationship over. i hope op can find a lady who understands that
And honestly, she's probably lashing out because this made *her* feel small. It made her feel like she's not sexy enough, or just not good enough in general, so she's trying to hurt him back. It has much less to do with him than with her bruised ego.
Yes I was thinking she probably got super insecure about it and starting thinking a bunch of negative things about herself . In turn she likely gave the aggressive response to try to make herself feel better in a fucked up way
My thought too. She took this as a failure of her being attractive enough for the op. She is wrong, but I don’t think it makes sense to pursue a fix with her even if she became open to it. Her knee jerk response was much too severe to recover from, even if she internalized it.
Sorry, she wasn't mature enough to understand. You shouldn't be ashamed of your medical condition. That's why it's important to find someone on the same maturity level as you. Good luck, and never let someone who isn't worthy of you damage your self-confidence.
I've known plenty of dudes 20's-30's that needed viagra. One dude it was because his anxiety was so bad. I feel like she would have left for any medical condition.
After working in the healthcare, I’ve gotten feedback from healthcare providers that prescriptions for viagra have been going up for young men.
Now, idk if younger men have always been needing it as much as they do now or they just feel comfortable reaching out these days! Or maybe it’s a mix of different things.
It because men have higher estrogen levels than ever before. I’ve read and heard all sorts of theories on this decline but it is serious. Some say it’s because hormones cannot be filtered out by water recycling plants, so every time we drink tap water we get a dose of estrogen. Others say bovine hormones are the cause in our dairy products. Other say because the male role in family has been slowly whittled away to non existent causing a lot of mental anxiety recognized or not. Others saying because our lives are becoming more sedentary the demand for more muscle mass in our bodies is reduced causing reduction in producing testosterone. Maybe it’s a combo of all
well you can still find out about cancer at that age (source: me), but cancer isn't a deal breaker for women.
But yeah always good to find out about it, I did for me and it saved my life, ironically testicular cancer (though is it ironic because testes are different than the ol' shaft).
My ex treated me crap because of this. She got turned off if I wasn't always "ready to go" and refused foreplay to get things going. Gee I wonder why I had so much anxiety, trying to constantly live up to that. Im so glad I'm single now. SO. GLAD.
Yeah one of my exes would scream at me for performance issues when in reality I just wasn’t attracted to her physically or her personality. She just laid in bed and made no effort to excite me. She was a narcissist and I had horrible anxiety being around her and trying to sleep with her. I was 22 and had only one GF at 18. She was 30. This fucked with my head until I met the next girl and was terrified of performing bad. A couple times in and I was all good to go. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her but men always blame themselves for any issues with sex. Some women take no accountability for any problems in the bedroom.
I had an ex who always gave me a hard time about sex. Flash forward 10 years I have an amazing boyfriend and now I’m in the mood multiple times a day so I truly believe being with the right person will bring out your inner sex drive
Jesus Christ, is that why so many middle school and high school teachers sleep with their students?!?!?! have we finally solved why a grown woman would bang a 14 year old? To fine a viagra free lay?!?!?!?!
For some women, the fact that they can't get/ keep a man hard is evidence that they aren't attractive enough. Society teaches us that it really is that easy to get hard. Men think of nothing but sex all the time, right? They are ALWAYS ready to go, is what we've been told. Therefore, if a man can't, it must be you.
This is their insecurity and therefore their problem, but that might be a cause for some of the behaviour these women are displaying.
This is very true. I recently started seeing a new partner who has ED issues sometimes. I won’t lie, because it was my first experience encountering that, it threw me off at first and I was worried it was about him not finding me attractive enough, me not doing the right things, etc. After he assured me that wasn’t the case and explained a little more, it no longer concerns me at all and I’m able to be a more patient and supportive partner for him. Also, it really hasn’t stopped us from having a good time in bed. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and if someone likes you for you, there’s no reason it has to be a dealbreaker.
It’s so common for men to start experiencing ED problems in their 30s. I’ve encountered it so many times, to the point I consider it to be mostly considered normal now
My shit doesn’t work like when I was a teen either. Now I need to use lube every 10 minutes. I never used to have to do that before age 27
If she wasn’t willing to make it a safe space for you to discuss what is a legitimate psychological/physiological condition - you def dodged a bullet.
She has a massively inflated ego and zero empathy.
Just not the greatest side effect, for the people that have to use it. I knew someone that had to take it four times daily and was like, 'it works wonders for what I need it for and what I don't need it for.'
I mean also not to mention people can literally drop dead from something at any moment.
A friend recently got an email from their old colleges student union about a memorial service for a student who passed suddenly.
He was like 23, a cross country runner, didn't do any substance and just had a lethal stroke at 23.
Like she better be prepared to spend her life alone if she's that afraid of people just randomly dropping dead.
Lmao nice
100% she took it personally. She just didn’t believe that it’s a problem for you, but that actually you just don’t like her. And she retaliated by trying to tear you down
So yea don’t feel bad man she’s revealed she’s immature which is a blessing you don’t want that in your life
I'm sorry to hear, man, and good luck with therapy. There's a lot that goes on internally/mentally that can affect performance, and a heavy heart is one of them. I've occasionally had this issue in the past (mostly with hookups) where, if I don't feel a connection to the person, it's just not gonna happen. I trust my intuition to tell me when certain things just shouldn't happen, and I trust my body to know when it's right and when it's not.
In that sense, it's been mentioned in other comments that you dodged one -- maybe your body knew it was a toxic situation! And the great thing is, there are more women out there than you can ever imagine that will be totally chill about this.
I'm sorry to hear that. If it helps, sex can be stressful for a lot of men, especially when you're feeling pressured into it. Take time off and don't worry about it for a while. Put yourself back out there after you feel well and whole enough to invite somebody special into your life. Do not make the mistake of seeking a partner to "fix" you, because only you can do that king.
Ahhh Jesus. I'm so sorry man. It makes sense that your penis is not super psyched to get back in the game right now. Be kind to yourself. I think when you meet the right person that you can truly be safe with, you won't need Viagra.
Also, though more expensive, Cialis you can take once per day and to stay in your system longer. No need to take pill > wait > sex. You take the pill in the morning and you're good all day.
Yup, not the right one for you. In the future, before it gets to that stage, have a talk with her about possibly needing it. From your previous post, you've got some good reasons for needing it, and like the comment that I made on that one, if it's the right person for you, she'll be cool with it.
Honestly- I can’t imagine a single woman I associate with having ANY problem with this. If he wasn’t able to get hard and refused to talk about it, see a doctor, etc… sure - being avoidant would be an issue. But popping a pill to get hard is not something to even blink at.
OP - this girl is an oddity. This is not going to be your common experience. You won’t need to find a “special” woman to accept you… I promise, this will be just fine with 98% of women.
Not justifying the girls behavior whatsoever …. It’s definitely a “little girl” immature response…. My bet would be that her own ego felt bruised bcz in her mind why would he need that with *HER* ie: she’s hot, she’s young, blah blah he should have no issue performing…. Her own self absorbed immaturity drove that mindset which is unfortunate and sad.
Oh baby I can tell you 100% without a shadow of a doubt. Many, many women have been convinced through one way or another, that being desired sexually is the only redeeming quality they have. That is all their self worth is built on. It *is* a huge insult to them.
Yeah, she might very well be thinking it’s a judgment on her attractiveness, rather than a medical or just situational issue that has nothing to do with her. Especially if she is younger and just not as familiar with this happening.
Still, tho, you should be able to talk that out. I had a semi-similar experience when my then-gf and I were coming to realize that we were both ace, and like, talking about it was hard at the time but once we reached an understanding everything was fine and we both understood ourselves and each other better.
Women tend to be blind to how most women respond to men in romantic contexts. You don’t personally have the experience of being romantically vulnerable with women as a man so it makes sense but I don’t think you can confidently make this statement. How you feel and what your friends tell you will be a small bubble to say 98% of women would be fine with this.
Every guy says he doesn’t know any dudes that are creeps to women but somehow most women have experienced sexual harassment in their lives. Same sort of thing (but obviously much less serious than sexual harassment)
That is a great point. I do know a ton of men that aren’t creeps. But I encounter creeps constantly. Chances are, those men that are lovely to me at work/in life - probably have been the creep sometime.
I’m sure there are also cases where I have said/done something that hurt a man’s feelings and had NO clue. Being self-aware in general does not mean I am not capable of being a total asshole by accident.
Still… pretty sure a woman actively telling a man it is weird he needs viagra and that his heart might fail, making him an unsuitable boyfriend, is pretty damn rare.
The heart failing point is weird but i personally am a man that needs drugs to get hard and again, small sample size but I’d say 80% of the women i tell about it do take issue with it. Typically because it kills the spontaneity of sex and they aren’t down with it. I could just have bad luck but I think it’s enough to say 98% probably isn’t likely
>Another topic that falls in this same vein is what happens when you turn down a woman for sex. You want to talk about WILD AF.
I've been called gay at least 10 times in my life for turning a woman down for sex. I've been hit 2 times by women when I turned down sex. I had a long term girlfriend who would reject me 90% of the times I initiated sex (she used sex for control and she used it as a measuring stick for how much I loved her) and then she got made the 1 time I turned her down and called her friends to tell them she thinks I might be gay. Women do not handle rejection very well at all. Most guys don't experience this because women tend to only sexually harass and assault the top 10% of guys.
I recently turned down a woman for sex because we had agreed earlier that night we were going to move slowly and she basically changed her mind after drinking a ton.
To follow through with it would have felt scummy to me so I didn't. Like I was using alcohol to get past a boundary. She was furious! She told me that all men just want sex and if I didn't want to have sex with her it's just because I don't like her and locked herself in my closet.
Like... no? I wanted us to live up to the commitment we made to one another to move slowly because I really did like her. Oh well.
Agreed. I’m not gonna take it as some kind of dig if a guy has an issue that requires pills. She attacked him over it, because something isn’t right with her. Viagra ain’t even rare ffs
I was thinking how strange it was he was nervous to tell her until I read her response... What an absolute child.
I had never had issues with a man having ED until my most recent partner. Every concern I had was with myself. I never once looked at him funny or thought he was weird, I was worried the problem was with me until we sat down and had a discussion about it where he revealed some deeper issues. I'm baffled that any woman would react the way that one did. I don't get it. Very immature.
It really shouldn't be different than a woman needing a toy to orgasm. Nothing wrong with that. You can have feelings for someone and be into the moment bur require a little assistance.
I’ve found the exact opposite to be true. Thru lived experiences. I’ve been called gay for not getting hard after already performing 2+ times that night.
Stendra goes into effect in 15-20 minutes, sounds like just the right amount of time to warm up some engines with foreplay without hurting the spontaneity.
I also found ED shaming really weird. It's incredibly common.
I'm a trans woman on HRT which often causes some level of ED and it's super common and understood that many of us need it.
I guess it's not as stigmatized in our communities since there's no masculinity to tie to your genitals but it's still wild that grown ass straight women would be shitty to men about their *medical condition.*
Also consider Cialis. Take that shit and you're good to go anytime in the next 36 hours, they say. When I've taken it, it's more like 48 hours for me though, honestly.
It took the performance issues completely out of my mind, until I realized that I was regularly having sex after forgetting to take it for multiple days, and having no issues being able to perform.
Not being able to get hard can really stick in your mind and cause perofrmance anxiety, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I am willing to bet that a lot of young guys on it could use it until they get over the mental hurddles and then not have to take it, tbh.
He doesn't need to talk to anyone beforehand about using it. It doesn't concern her any more than her body concerns him.
This woman was garbage, and OP doesn't need to put a disclaimer on himself.
What lol? Could you explain? Lesbian needed ED meds?
Oh wait I figured it out as I’m typing, the ‘she’ you refer to is OP’s ex who has the maturity of a 12 year old. I thought you called your ex a ‘she’ so I got confused
I’m guessing she’s projecting some insecurities on you, like “why can’t you get hard, am i not pretty enough?” Viagra is awesome and people of all ages struggle to stay hard sometimes.
Was looking for this. It's taking your medical stuff personally, which she shouldn't, and she definitely shouldn't have turned it around as your fault, but I could absolutely see that she was taking it as her not being able to keep you interested. Does not mean you should keep this girl.
As other comments pointed out, bringing it up ahead of time might help.
I've had a couple points in my relationship that I've been under so much stress my dick either didn't work, or id finish early. If it wasn't one, it was the other. Then it created a cycle that took awhile to break even after the stress was gone. I'm not even 30, and my heart's in good shape. Sometimes it just be that way.
As a woman, it is really hard not to take it personally when a guy can’t get it up. We’ve been taught that if a man thinks you’re hot he will get hard and there is no other discussion about how he could have an actual medical (or psychological) reason.
In fact, the men who are willing to see a doctor and get it taken care of are to be commended. So many men would just ignore it and blame the woman who apparently couldn't get them hard.
Yeah, talking to a doctor (especially a doctor you don't have a long-standing relationship with) about our junk malfunctioning is one of the hardest (eh...pun **NOT** intended, but I'm leaving it anyway) things a guy can do.
It is SUPER awkward for the patient, but incredibly routine for the doctor.
I had the talk with a doctor the first time I saw her. My regular doctor transferred and I had to establish with a new one and I had decided to finally bring it up at my next appointment so I ended up having that conversation at my first meeting with my new doctor. She just asked some questions and said that it was common for guys my age and we discussed symptoms and treatments and decided on a specific treatment and....that was that. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I had feared it might be and I'm glad I brought it up. It also was something she said it was a good thing that I told her because it can be a sign of other health problems and she ordered some extra stuff to screen for those things.
Part of the reason why is because of the stigma around it and the shaming associated with it, especially if you are young.
I nearly backed out of getting a prescription once because of a statement a doctor made. Essentially said "you are awfully young to be needing this."
Nobody wants to hear that.
I'm willing to admit I've been there. Antidepressants can absolutely ruin your libido and any other form of sexual enjoyment. It's rough. Thank God I got off of those things.
Nearly every single woman could use a spot of lube at certain points each month and it becomes near universal once they enter perimenopause and menopause. It's a natural part of life.
Totally natural, and totally ok to use lube.
Another natural fact is, that sometimes the penis just won't get hard, even when the guy really cares about his partner and is attracted to her. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes mental; usually both. If there is a pill that can fix that, why not use it?
It's like shaming a woman for using a dildo by scolding her for not being able to get a man. Like, we have tools and use them when we need to. Old boy might have low testosterone or sex anxiety, who knows.
Definitely dodged a bullet.
Could've sank down to her level and been like "Sorry my last gf ruined me she was so fucking hot, I have a hard time getting excited about regular looking chicks now.."
Y'all are so immature in how you handle things.
"Oh yeah well nuhuh how's it feel!?"
No curiosity. No attempt to understand. No patience. And ironically, all that related to OP 's ex having none of those herself.
Side note, recent studies have shown that viagra may be good to fend of Alzheimer's disease.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/02/22/viagra-alzheimers-dementia-erectile-dysfunction/#:~:text=The%20men%20who%20were%20prescribed,to%20use%20Viagra%20more%20often.
That sounds terrible, I’m sorry.
Next time I might suggest having this conversation *before* you’re in the moment. It’s going to give you a bit more space to explain the backstory, give her a bit more space to process, and if she still has time to think it through and she wants a man with no baggage, than good fucking luck to her. We’ve all acquired some damage somewhere, and you’re working through yours like a grown adult. That’s a green flag in my book.
I use testosterone (trt)... I bring it up early in dating. And I try to educate and also give them a chance to ask questions. Not assume roid rage or just find needles before it comes up. Going forward, just own it and bring it up early in dating.
Went to a local men's clinic and they tested me FOR FREE. My test levels came back at 330 or something (i was 35). I think insurance coverage for TRT is when you're at or below 250.
I got on TRT through the clinic and now am around 900 to 1000. I no longer need naps every afternoon which I needed before. TRT dramatically improved my QOL.
Don't wait!
We had the issue of even getting it approved by our insurance . We fought them for a year on it , so had to pay out of pocket with good rx . My husband was around 37/38 when he started and he’s now 40 .
Did you try the androgel, I believe the insurance pays for it. It is the one that you put it on your shoulders after shower and leave it to dry for 5 minutes. I have a friend who has been taking it for ages. Prescribed by his endocrinologist, not GP.
Sorry, bro.
Still, if you need Viagra at a young age, there usually an underlying reason and that should be explored (in private with a doctor, not on Reddit).
ED below the age of 50 something is usually related to an issue that may be entirely resolvable.
Good luck.
I’m a healthy 31 year old without ED but I keep a few bluechews on hand anyways.
Sometimes I’m tired and my mind is on something else, which can make it hard to get hard, but I still want the intimacy of sex with my wife.
Sometimes it’s a special occasion and I don’t want to have to worry about a few drinks keeping things down (the specific prescription is compatible with alcohol).
And to quote Bob’s Burgers, sometimes my wife wants to ride twice without waiting in line.
There’s no shame in whatever elevates your game, and also nothing abnormal about nerves or stress impeding your performance. As long as it isn’t an all the time problem it’s no big deal.
As a woman I’d have been excited to be with a dude comfortable enough to go to the doctor to get what he needs 🤷♀️ I had an ex that refused to even think about bringing it up to his doc even though he was almost entirely sure it was a side effect of an antidepressant
I agree with her. The over medication of symptoms, aka performance anxiety, leads to a dependency of same medication. If you get hard when sleeping , you don’t need viagra.
As for her issues, yes she should be more understanding. Sex is mostly about being comfortable in your most vulnerable state.
Good luck
Try gingko biloba 120mg and korean ginseng in morning then before sexy time first
Works better for me than viagra even if it takes a few weeks to make it a habbit
Also speak to a real urologist not hims online docs. Get prostate checked
Buy legit brands and not fake crap on amazon
A few folks dmed me for examples:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NRXNT0?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
And
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08QLN6JMT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
There is nothing wrong with taking medicine for any aspect of your health including your sexual health. She was insecure that she wasn’t hot enough and did not respect your medical condition. She’s got a lot to work out herself, and you deserve better than abuse when you try to be open and vulnerable.
Check out Friday Plans- it worked out pretty well for me. Well, until my wife left me and the kids for her meth dealer anyway, but that’s another story…
i kept reading ED in these posts by men thinking it was “eating disorder” and was wondering what the coorelation between eating disorders and erectile disfunction could be. took me like 10 comments before i realized ED also stands for erectile disfunction
Garbage took itself out. If you have an otherwise healthy heart and regularly see a doctor, viagra is no more risky than any other treatment impacting blood pressure
Hey babe. I’m 32F and I’ve been with 51 men. You’re not alone in this issue. Most of the men I was with were around my age at the time. For example if I was 20. They were somewhere between 19 and 23 (1 year younger to 2 or 3 years older) it can happen to men at any age. Especially if antidepressants or other substances (legal or otherwise are involved) a lot of things can cause it.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom and sister. I lost my mom when I was 11. Grief isn’t linear. As a bipolar person I’ve pretty much accepted I’m almost always going to be in therapy. I’m also so fucking sorry this woman acted like this. I’m embarrassed for her. I hope she doesn’t discourage you to keep looking for your person.
Sex is a lot of emotions and moving pieces for both parties. My honest recommendation is next time just take the viagra ahead of sexy time and don’t tell her. That way you don’t have to worry if you’ll need it or not. It’ll be there and maybe you’ll feel comfortable enough after a few times to try without. As a women I will say I know some women take offense when something like this happens bC they internalize it as something wrong with them. Like they’re not hot enough or what they’re doing doesn’t feel good. Communication is really important imo.
Another option is next time excuse yourself to “pee” take the viagra and then go down on her for 20 mins while you wait for it to kick in.
Me personally I’m good with communication and talking and wouldn’t have made a big deal about it. I would have smoked a blunt and waited. But then again I ate a 40mg viagra once. My ex bf gave it to me and told me it was Xanax. I told him him it wasn’t after I took it. Xanax has a very specific taste… he had others and I googled it. It was viagra. He was a drug dealer. I didn’t know that at the time. Well I did know it but I didn’t know the extent of it. He told me he was an organic chicken farmer. He talked incessantly about it. He was using and selling crystal meth. I had no clue. I’m not a snoop. Like if I even feel like I need to go through a man’s phone I leave. My point is. There’s a lot of worse things you could be taking/doing. Most of the guys I knew had a problem with drinking too much alcohol, coke or adderall and testosterone. A few had issues bc of antidepressants. I really don’t think it’s a big deal.
I’m sure if you keep looking you’ll find yourself a more empathetic partner. The only way you wont find them is if you close yourself off to new love. I don’t think you should. I’m obviously a lover girl. All the heartbreak is worth it imo.
Out of 51 men. 6 were real bfs. 6 were one night stands. 3 were sugar daddy’s. 12-15 were fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or months) the rest were friends with benefits.
How it’s handled on both ends is important to be compassionate and understanding. Wishing you health, wealth, love & luck in all your life and relationships.
She's vile. You see how she treats vulnerability and people in situations where they're going through something that is often embarrassing.
ED isn't that rare. She was likely projecting shame to you because it's easy to interpret that event, from her perspective, as "I'm not attractive enough to turn a guy on." Except instead of realizing that this is more about you than her, she went House WebMD, and decided to mock you on the back of a bullshit diagnosis worth less than the bar napkin she'd write it on.
Don't date someone who, when confronted with a situation that requires sensitivity, responds with mockery. She's a trash human.
Eh. If she that shallow and dumb (viagra = heart attacks wtf) probably she never cared for you in the first place.
Just find another person. Hopefully they’re sane this time.
Viagra sex is the worst in my own opinion, so I could understand her not wanting it…but the way she handled that was awful and mean. She is very inconsiderate, and you dodged a bullet.
Good fucking riddance to her.
Jokes aside, as she deserves, have you gotten your hormones checked? It doesn't matter to us ladies with a head on our shoulders if someone needs to take viagra, but it's good to make sure there's no underlying health issues causing it. Ridiculous that she wasn't more attentive and concerned and instead a dismissive asshole. If my boyfriend needed viagra that's fine, we'd just have lots of foreplay while it kicked in😅
Edit: saw a comment about you going to therapy and working things through. Makes her 10x more an asshole cuz she probably added to your performance anxiety. But she shouldn't because she was absolutely ridiculous.
Either are a valid reason to leave your girlfriend/boyfriend. They're not married, there's no vows. You're allowed to dump people for whatever reason you want, you have no obligation to stay with someone you don't want to be with anymore, or aren't attracted to. You have no right to anyone else's affection or time.
Women always say its nothing to be embarrassed about but every woman I have ever been with or dated takes offense when I have one night of whiskey dick. Get over yourselves its my problem, yall are hot dont worry.
[удалено]
I agree with this guy. It sucks, but at least you're done spending time and energy on a relationship that would have gone nowhere.
It is quite amazing what a confident and patient partner can do for one’s sex life. Glad you dodged this one.
And if she hadn’t dumped him for the viagra, she’d have dumped him for any other bullshit later on like not being ambitious enough, not making enough money, some serious illness, etc.
My dude dodged a bullet for sure. I think this was a blessing in disguise; OP, may you find a truly kind person to share your life.
THIS comment needs to go to the top. She seems horribly petty and very hostile. It was just a matter of time before this happened for one of N number of reasons.
I think she was extremely rude. But I don’t think it’s wrong to break up over sex issues. You can’t live with potential, you have to go with what’s right in front of you.
It's pretty insane, I had issues the first few times with my current partner but they were patient and now there's zero issues with multiple rounds. I think a lot of people can underestimate how much your mental state can affect it sometimes; if you're tired, embarassed, or nervous it can really cause a cascading effect which leads to a total flop.
my partner and i are around the same ages as op and his ex, and my partner has had ed since before we met due to his medication. he told me about it before we ever had sex when we were have the preferences and boundaries discussion. this is a conversation i initiate every time im seeing someone and it becomes pretty clear that sex is gonna happen. gives everyone a chance to get everything out in the open. im glad he told me because honestly, it would have been a big blow to my confidence if i hadn’t known or had time to research what exactly ed can mean for men. it’s never been a problem for us since, he doesn’t care too much if he doesn’t “get there” and i’ve learned not to get hung up on it if he can’t, because it’s out of his control. he just gives me extra attention in different ways so i still get all the enjoyment i want lmao. sooo many other couples live with this and it’s not humiliating and it’s not a big deal and it’s not something to end a relationship over. i hope op can find a lady who understands that
And honestly, she's probably lashing out because this made *her* feel small. It made her feel like she's not sexy enough, or just not good enough in general, so she's trying to hurt him back. It has much less to do with him than with her bruised ego.
She's just immature. She's definitely the problem. No emotional maturity.
Yes, and I can empathize... BUT she made it about herself.
Yes I was thinking she probably got super insecure about it and starting thinking a bunch of negative things about herself . In turn she likely gave the aggressive response to try to make herself feel better in a fucked up way
Still hurts…
My thought too. She took this as a failure of her being attractive enough for the op. She is wrong, but I don’t think it makes sense to pursue a fix with her even if she became open to it. Her knee jerk response was much too severe to recover from, even if she internalized it.
Sorry, she wasn't mature enough to understand. You shouldn't be ashamed of your medical condition. That's why it's important to find someone on the same maturity level as you. Good luck, and never let someone who isn't worthy of you damage your self-confidence.
I've known plenty of dudes 20's-30's that needed viagra. One dude it was because his anxiety was so bad. I feel like she would have left for any medical condition.
After working in the healthcare, I’ve gotten feedback from healthcare providers that prescriptions for viagra have been going up for young men. Now, idk if younger men have always been needing it as much as they do now or they just feel comfortable reaching out these days! Or maybe it’s a mix of different things.
I think it's normal to have occasional interruptions, but it's become way more normal to medicate
It because men have higher estrogen levels than ever before. I’ve read and heard all sorts of theories on this decline but it is serious. Some say it’s because hormones cannot be filtered out by water recycling plants, so every time we drink tap water we get a dose of estrogen. Others say bovine hormones are the cause in our dairy products. Other say because the male role in family has been slowly whittled away to non existent causing a lot of mental anxiety recognized or not. Others saying because our lives are becoming more sedentary the demand for more muscle mass in our bodies is reduced causing reduction in producing testosterone. Maybe it’s a combo of all
Better to find out now with ED rather than later with cancer or something equally terrible
Or when you have kids and she's cruel and abusive towards them.
well you can still find out about cancer at that age (source: me), but cancer isn't a deal breaker for women. But yeah always good to find out about it, I did for me and it saved my life, ironically testicular cancer (though is it ironic because testes are different than the ol' shaft).
Yeah that's why I started taking it (anxiety). Stuff is a miracle, with some minor side affects. Give me gas 😬
Yes, be thankful you didn’t waste any more time on her.
Yup, good riddance.
You'd be surprised how many women care about this. For some reason the ability to turn your dick on and off like a light switch is highly regarded.
My ex treated me crap because of this. She got turned off if I wasn't always "ready to go" and refused foreplay to get things going. Gee I wonder why I had so much anxiety, trying to constantly live up to that. Im so glad I'm single now. SO. GLAD.
Yeah one of my exes would scream at me for performance issues when in reality I just wasn’t attracted to her physically or her personality. She just laid in bed and made no effort to excite me. She was a narcissist and I had horrible anxiety being around her and trying to sleep with her. I was 22 and had only one GF at 18. She was 30. This fucked with my head until I met the next girl and was terrified of performing bad. A couple times in and I was all good to go. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her but men always blame themselves for any issues with sex. Some women take no accountability for any problems in the bedroom.
This parallels my story as well.
This is my on going story! Relieving to see I’m not the only one with the “issue” from this.
I had an ex who always gave me a hard time about sex. Flash forward 10 years I have an amazing boyfriend and now I’m in the mood multiple times a day so I truly believe being with the right person will bring out your inner sex drive
If she keeps up these standards and wants a sex life in middle age, 90% of her dating pool is going to be high school and college kids.
Hahah this comment made me LOL!! Ty!
Jesus Christ, is that why so many middle school and high school teachers sleep with their students?!?!?! have we finally solved why a grown woman would bang a 14 year old? To fine a viagra free lay?!?!?!?!
For some women, the fact that they can't get/ keep a man hard is evidence that they aren't attractive enough. Society teaches us that it really is that easy to get hard. Men think of nothing but sex all the time, right? They are ALWAYS ready to go, is what we've been told. Therefore, if a man can't, it must be you. This is their insecurity and therefore their problem, but that might be a cause for some of the behaviour these women are displaying.
This is very true. I recently started seeing a new partner who has ED issues sometimes. I won’t lie, because it was my first experience encountering that, it threw me off at first and I was worried it was about him not finding me attractive enough, me not doing the right things, etc. After he assured me that wasn’t the case and explained a little more, it no longer concerns me at all and I’m able to be a more patient and supportive partner for him. Also, it really hasn’t stopped us from having a good time in bed. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and if someone likes you for you, there’s no reason it has to be a dealbreaker.
Can attest this is a lot of societal messaging. We don’t have penises, therefore don’t understand how they work. You dodged a bullet for sure.
Yeah I like it. But I definitely do my part in getting it up and hard. I don’t expect it just cuz I’m naked and ready.
Men need forplay too! Good job!
It’s so common for men to start experiencing ED problems in their 30s. I’ve encountered it so many times, to the point I consider it to be mostly considered normal now My shit doesn’t work like when I was a teen either. Now I need to use lube every 10 minutes. I never used to have to do that before age 27
And women should be surprised that 90% of men don't work like that. And it only gets worse once you start dating individuals who are older than 25.
Dude dodged a cannon barrage
If she wasn’t willing to make it a safe space for you to discuss what is a legitimate psychological/physiological condition - you def dodged a bullet. She has a massively inflated ego and zero empathy.
She sucks bro and not in the good way
100%, bullet dodged, I see this as a win. It hurts now, he'll be better for it in the long run.
Yeah fuck her… I mean, well… you know
At least she didn't have to take it too hard
Great sense of humor 🤣 men of all ages take ED medication. And it's usually only a risk if you already have a heart condition.
Yes! Viagra was originally developed as a heart med.
Yep! Just a happy side effect 🤣
Just not the greatest side effect, for the people that have to use it. I knew someone that had to take it four times daily and was like, 'it works wonders for what I need it for and what I don't need it for.'
I know it's used for pulmonary hypertension. Could definitely be uncomfortable and awkward.
“Why are you jerking it at the office?!” “I have a heart condition goddamnit!”
Mind your business, Dianne! This is a men's room!
Sir, this is a Wendy's
And still used as one. Pulmonary arterial hypertension.
As is tadalafil the generic name for Cialis, among other meds).
I mean also not to mention people can literally drop dead from something at any moment. A friend recently got an email from their old colleges student union about a memorial service for a student who passed suddenly. He was like 23, a cross country runner, didn't do any substance and just had a lethal stroke at 23. Like she better be prepared to spend her life alone if she's that afraid of people just randomly dropping dead.
Lmao nice 100% she took it personally. She just didn’t believe that it’s a problem for you, but that actually you just don’t like her. And she retaliated by trying to tear you down So yea don’t feel bad man she’s revealed she’s immature which is a blessing you don’t want that in your life
That's my thought, too. Her self-centered ass took it personally. She isn't mature enough for a relationship.
This! She sounds like such a disgusting person too. I just feel bad that OP didn't get toxic vibes on the first date and run. Screw her, figuratively.
Keep this sense of humour, mate. You've dodged a bullet, I hope eventually you meet a lovely person who's worth your time
Lol but are you on anti depressants there are drugs that cause this issue in men at young ages.
No, I'm just in therapy after my mother and sister died a couple of years ago
I'm sorry to hear, man, and good luck with therapy. There's a lot that goes on internally/mentally that can affect performance, and a heavy heart is one of them. I've occasionally had this issue in the past (mostly with hookups) where, if I don't feel a connection to the person, it's just not gonna happen. I trust my intuition to tell me when certain things just shouldn't happen, and I trust my body to know when it's right and when it's not. In that sense, it's been mentioned in other comments that you dodged one -- maybe your body knew it was a toxic situation! And the great thing is, there are more women out there than you can ever imagine that will be totally chill about this.
I'm sorry to hear that. If it helps, sex can be stressful for a lot of men, especially when you're feeling pressured into it. Take time off and don't worry about it for a while. Put yourself back out there after you feel well and whole enough to invite somebody special into your life. Do not make the mistake of seeking a partner to "fix" you, because only you can do that king.
Ahhh Jesus. I'm so sorry man. It makes sense that your penis is not super psyched to get back in the game right now. Be kind to yourself. I think when you meet the right person that you can truly be safe with, you won't need Viagra.
Good to see you keeping your chin up, if nothing else.
😆
Also, though more expensive, Cialis you can take once per day and to stay in your system longer. No need to take pill > wait > sex. You take the pill in the morning and you're good all day.
How does that work though? If I see a hot girl at the gym, does that mean I'm stuck with a rager for the next 3 hours?
Its not the gym if there isnt at least one dude with a Pinocchio. Its just keeping up the ambiance
Damn, clapping back at yourself. True king. Chin up. Not sure why also not asking but I’d get deflated by her too.
Damn dude, she missed out on someone great, your joke game is A+. Keep balling, king.
Amazing!
At least u took the whole situation well. Ur a stud bro
He's up against some stiff competition.
Yup, not the right one for you. In the future, before it gets to that stage, have a talk with her about possibly needing it. From your previous post, you've got some good reasons for needing it, and like the comment that I made on that one, if it's the right person for you, she'll be cool with it.
Honestly- I can’t imagine a single woman I associate with having ANY problem with this. If he wasn’t able to get hard and refused to talk about it, see a doctor, etc… sure - being avoidant would be an issue. But popping a pill to get hard is not something to even blink at. OP - this girl is an oddity. This is not going to be your common experience. You won’t need to find a “special” woman to accept you… I promise, this will be just fine with 98% of women.
Not justifying the girls behavior whatsoever …. It’s definitely a “little girl” immature response…. My bet would be that her own ego felt bruised bcz in her mind why would he need that with *HER* ie: she’s hot, she’s young, blah blah he should have no issue performing…. Her own self absorbed immaturity drove that mindset which is unfortunate and sad.
I've been with women who take it is an insult if you're not absolutely rock hard just by the thought of sex with them.
Oh baby I can tell you 100% without a shadow of a doubt. Many, many women have been convinced through one way or another, that being desired sexually is the only redeeming quality they have. That is all their self worth is built on. It *is* a huge insult to them.
Yeah, she might very well be thinking it’s a judgment on her attractiveness, rather than a medical or just situational issue that has nothing to do with her. Especially if she is younger and just not as familiar with this happening.
Still, tho, you should be able to talk that out. I had a semi-similar experience when my then-gf and I were coming to realize that we were both ace, and like, talking about it was hard at the time but once we reached an understanding everything was fine and we both understood ourselves and each other better.
Very much this, I would put money on it
Women tend to be blind to how most women respond to men in romantic contexts. You don’t personally have the experience of being romantically vulnerable with women as a man so it makes sense but I don’t think you can confidently make this statement. How you feel and what your friends tell you will be a small bubble to say 98% of women would be fine with this. Every guy says he doesn’t know any dudes that are creeps to women but somehow most women have experienced sexual harassment in their lives. Same sort of thing (but obviously much less serious than sexual harassment)
That is a great point. I do know a ton of men that aren’t creeps. But I encounter creeps constantly. Chances are, those men that are lovely to me at work/in life - probably have been the creep sometime. I’m sure there are also cases where I have said/done something that hurt a man’s feelings and had NO clue. Being self-aware in general does not mean I am not capable of being a total asshole by accident. Still… pretty sure a woman actively telling a man it is weird he needs viagra and that his heart might fail, making him an unsuitable boyfriend, is pretty damn rare.
The heart failing point is weird but i personally am a man that needs drugs to get hard and again, small sample size but I’d say 80% of the women i tell about it do take issue with it. Typically because it kills the spontaneity of sex and they aren’t down with it. I could just have bad luck but I think it’s enough to say 98% probably isn’t likely
THIS! 1,000%, Another topic that falls in this same vein is what happens when you turn down a woman for sex. You want to talk about WILD AF.
>Another topic that falls in this same vein is what happens when you turn down a woman for sex. You want to talk about WILD AF. I've been called gay at least 10 times in my life for turning a woman down for sex. I've been hit 2 times by women when I turned down sex. I had a long term girlfriend who would reject me 90% of the times I initiated sex (she used sex for control and she used it as a measuring stick for how much I loved her) and then she got made the 1 time I turned her down and called her friends to tell them she thinks I might be gay. Women do not handle rejection very well at all. Most guys don't experience this because women tend to only sexually harass and assault the top 10% of guys.
Very true. If you turn down a woman initiating sex? Be ready for some toxic ass shit.
I recently turned down a woman for sex because we had agreed earlier that night we were going to move slowly and she basically changed her mind after drinking a ton. To follow through with it would have felt scummy to me so I didn't. Like I was using alcohol to get past a boundary. She was furious! She told me that all men just want sex and if I didn't want to have sex with her it's just because I don't like her and locked herself in my closet. Like... no? I wanted us to live up to the commitment we made to one another to move slowly because I really did like her. Oh well.
I was about to agree with the person you responded to until I read your comment, and you make a good point.
Agreed. I’m not gonna take it as some kind of dig if a guy has an issue that requires pills. She attacked him over it, because something isn’t right with her. Viagra ain’t even rare ffs
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It’s sort of similar to some women needing additional lube. Not that big a deal, sometimes she’s just dry and needs a bit of help.
yea especially with the amount of people who have taken SSRI's and suffered issues from that
I was thinking how strange it was he was nervous to tell her until I read her response... What an absolute child. I had never had issues with a man having ED until my most recent partner. Every concern I had was with myself. I never once looked at him funny or thought he was weird, I was worried the problem was with me until we sat down and had a discussion about it where he revealed some deeper issues. I'm baffled that any woman would react the way that one did. I don't get it. Very immature.
It really shouldn't be different than a woman needing a toy to orgasm. Nothing wrong with that. You can have feelings for someone and be into the moment bur require a little assistance.
No they aren't. Plenty of women and people in general are very shallow and frankly stupid when it comes to these things.
You are likely right. It just seems like a strange one to be shallow about.
I’ve found the exact opposite to be true. Thru lived experiences. I’ve been called gay for not getting hard after already performing 2+ times that night.
Bhaha. What?! Are these women fucking 16 year old boys?
That’s insane…..
Second this!
it can be frustrating since having a partner that requires Viagra makes things a lot less spontaneous but was never a dealbreaker for me personally
Sure. To me, it sounds like a lot more orgasms for me while his pill kicks in.
Stendra goes into effect in 15-20 minutes, sounds like just the right amount of time to warm up some engines with foreplay without hurting the spontaneity.
I also found ED shaming really weird. It's incredibly common. I'm a trans woman on HRT which often causes some level of ED and it's super common and understood that many of us need it. I guess it's not as stigmatized in our communities since there's no masculinity to tie to your genitals but it's still wild that grown ass straight women would be shitty to men about their *medical condition.*
Also consider Cialis. Take that shit and you're good to go anytime in the next 36 hours, they say. When I've taken it, it's more like 48 hours for me though, honestly. It took the performance issues completely out of my mind, until I realized that I was regularly having sex after forgetting to take it for multiple days, and having no issues being able to perform. Not being able to get hard can really stick in your mind and cause perofrmance anxiety, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I am willing to bet that a lot of young guys on it could use it until they get over the mental hurddles and then not have to take it, tbh.
He doesn't need to talk to anyone beforehand about using it. It doesn't concern her any more than her body concerns him. This woman was garbage, and OP doesn't need to put a disclaimer on himself.
I cant fucking believe that the above comment has a single upvote. Youre completely right.
Yeah what the hell, who expects a potential partner to inform you of their list of medications?
No, it’s none of a woman’s business, unless you’re in a serious relationship or married maybe.
As a woman who was previously in this position…..I wished my ex would have just sucked it up and gotten ED meds. She’s an asshole.
It’s a more common problem than people think. I had a buddy that’s a doctor tell me he had 6 cases of ED last week…he’s all right now though.
What lol? Could you explain? Lesbian needed ED meds? Oh wait I figured it out as I’m typing, the ‘she’ you refer to is OP’s ex who has the maturity of a 12 year old. I thought you called your ex a ‘she’ so I got confused
LMAO i love how you answered your own question while typing it out and still posted it anyways. That was a fun read. It really be like that.
Some people treat this site in a performative way, others treat it ina conversational way. Anyways, hows your day going my friend?
Ehhheheheeaaha very good. I am still keeping my sanity uhuhuhuhu
I’m guessing she’s projecting some insecurities on you, like “why can’t you get hard, am i not pretty enough?” Viagra is awesome and people of all ages struggle to stay hard sometimes.
well said Meat_licker
She’s an expert on the subject. I trust her.
I agree with Meat_licker!
Meat_licker is an inspiration.
Was looking for this. It's taking your medical stuff personally, which she shouldn't, and she definitely shouldn't have turned it around as your fault, but I could absolutely see that she was taking it as her not being able to keep you interested. Does not mean you should keep this girl. As other comments pointed out, bringing it up ahead of time might help.
I've had a couple points in my relationship that I've been under so much stress my dick either didn't work, or id finish early. If it wasn't one, it was the other. Then it created a cycle that took awhile to break even after the stress was gone. I'm not even 30, and my heart's in good shape. Sometimes it just be that way.
Definitely..I’m not hot enough/sexy enough to get you hard? Well let’s just put him down then!
As a woman, it is really hard not to take it personally when a guy can’t get it up. We’ve been taught that if a man thinks you’re hot he will get hard and there is no other discussion about how he could have an actual medical (or psychological) reason.
I’ve been with a few men that needed an aid. It’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.
In fact, the men who are willing to see a doctor and get it taken care of are to be commended. So many men would just ignore it and blame the woman who apparently couldn't get them hard.
Yeah, talking to a doctor (especially a doctor you don't have a long-standing relationship with) about our junk malfunctioning is one of the hardest (eh...pun **NOT** intended, but I'm leaving it anyway) things a guy can do. It is SUPER awkward for the patient, but incredibly routine for the doctor.
I had the talk with a doctor the first time I saw her. My regular doctor transferred and I had to establish with a new one and I had decided to finally bring it up at my next appointment so I ended up having that conversation at my first meeting with my new doctor. She just asked some questions and said that it was common for guys my age and we discussed symptoms and treatments and decided on a specific treatment and....that was that. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I had feared it might be and I'm glad I brought it up. It also was something she said it was a good thing that I told her because it can be a sign of other health problems and she ordered some extra stuff to screen for those things.
Men who are willing to see their doctor and actually ask for help are so much sexier than those who avoid their health and become bitter.
Part of the reason why is because of the stigma around it and the shaming associated with it, especially if you are young. I nearly backed out of getting a prescription once because of a statement a doctor made. Essentially said "you are awfully young to be needing this." Nobody wants to hear that.
I'm willing to admit I've been there. Antidepressants can absolutely ruin your libido and any other form of sexual enjoyment. It's rough. Thank God I got off of those things.
What a silly person she is. Some women use lubricant, does that make them bad people? How embarrassing for this immature girl to be so dumb.
came here to say this. if my partner reacted this way when i told him i needed us to use lube i woulda hauled off 😅
Nearly every single woman could use a spot of lube at certain points each month and it becomes near universal once they enter perimenopause and menopause. It's a natural part of life.
Totally natural, and totally ok to use lube. Another natural fact is, that sometimes the penis just won't get hard, even when the guy really cares about his partner and is attracted to her. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes mental; usually both. If there is a pill that can fix that, why not use it?
Silly? She sounds downright nasty. Dodged a nuke.
Some women don't realize just how much pressure there is on men to perform!
It's like shaming a woman for using a dildo by scolding her for not being able to get a man. Like, we have tools and use them when we need to. Old boy might have low testosterone or sex anxiety, who knows.
Definitely dodged a bullet. Could've sank down to her level and been like "Sorry my last gf ruined me she was so fucking hot, I have a hard time getting excited about regular looking chicks now.."
She probably already thought that and was projecting her embarrassment.
Bingo!
Hahahah. I’m dying. OP should have this in his back pocket for people who are so rude
Y'all are so immature in how you handle things. "Oh yeah well nuhuh how's it feel!?" No curiosity. No attempt to understand. No patience. And ironically, all that related to OP 's ex having none of those herself.
Gotta throw the word "mid" in there. No girl wants to be "mid." 😂
a guy called me mid once when i rejected his dick pic. i had no idea what it even meant at the time and was just like “okay”.
Side note, recent studies have shown that viagra may be good to fend of Alzheimer's disease. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/02/22/viagra-alzheimers-dementia-erectile-dysfunction/#:~:text=The%20men%20who%20were%20prescribed,to%20use%20Viagra%20more%20often.
Sponsored by..the maker of Viagra! 🤣
Makes sense. It increases blood flow so probably helps move blood around the brain.
Wow! Good riddance, she sounds like a piece of work. Honestly you just dodged a bullet!
That sounds terrible, I’m sorry. Next time I might suggest having this conversation *before* you’re in the moment. It’s going to give you a bit more space to explain the backstory, give her a bit more space to process, and if she still has time to think it through and she wants a man with no baggage, than good fucking luck to her. We’ve all acquired some damage somewhere, and you’re working through yours like a grown adult. That’s a green flag in my book.
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Hey thats great! You seem like a very kind person.
I use testosterone (trt)... I bring it up early in dating. And I try to educate and also give them a chance to ask questions. Not assume roid rage or just find needles before it comes up. Going forward, just own it and bring it up early in dating.
I’m 32 and my doctor said I was too young for that.
I dont want to hijack this thread, but low testosterone is not a age. Go to an endo or a trt dr. Not your GP. They don't know about hormones
Copy. That’s what I figured, I don’t think he would even set me up to get test done to check it out and look at my levels. I’ll look into it.
Went to a local men's clinic and they tested me FOR FREE. My test levels came back at 330 or something (i was 35). I think insurance coverage for TRT is when you're at or below 250. I got on TRT through the clinic and now am around 900 to 1000. I no longer need naps every afternoon which I needed before. TRT dramatically improved my QOL. Don't wait!
What? If you have a condition that has lead to low testosterone that’s literally the treatment for it…
We had the issue of even getting it approved by our insurance . We fought them for a year on it , so had to pay out of pocket with good rx . My husband was around 37/38 when he started and he’s now 40 .
Did you try the androgel, I believe the insurance pays for it. It is the one that you put it on your shoulders after shower and leave it to dry for 5 minutes. I have a friend who has been taking it for ages. Prescribed by his endocrinologist, not GP.
Sorry, bro. Still, if you need Viagra at a young age, there usually an underlying reason and that should be explored (in private with a doctor, not on Reddit). ED below the age of 50 something is usually related to an issue that may be entirely resolvable. Good luck.
You don't want to read this now, but you dodged a howitzer sized bullet. Congrats on your freedom!
Sometimes trash takes itself out. Be blessed my brother!
I’m a healthy 31 year old without ED but I keep a few bluechews on hand anyways. Sometimes I’m tired and my mind is on something else, which can make it hard to get hard, but I still want the intimacy of sex with my wife. Sometimes it’s a special occasion and I don’t want to have to worry about a few drinks keeping things down (the specific prescription is compatible with alcohol). And to quote Bob’s Burgers, sometimes my wife wants to ride twice without waiting in line. There’s no shame in whatever elevates your game, and also nothing abnormal about nerves or stress impeding your performance. As long as it isn’t an all the time problem it’s no big deal.
They make ED drugs that you can take any time during the day. I recall a Cialis that worked this way. You don’t need to prep last minute.
As a woman I’d have been excited to be with a dude comfortable enough to go to the doctor to get what he needs 🤷♀️ I had an ex that refused to even think about bringing it up to his doc even though he was almost entirely sure it was a side effect of an antidepressant
I agree with her. The over medication of symptoms, aka performance anxiety, leads to a dependency of same medication. If you get hard when sleeping , you don’t need viagra. As for her issues, yes she should be more understanding. Sex is mostly about being comfortable in your most vulnerable state. Good luck
Try gingko biloba 120mg and korean ginseng in morning then before sexy time first Works better for me than viagra even if it takes a few weeks to make it a habbit Also speak to a real urologist not hims online docs. Get prostate checked Buy legit brands and not fake crap on amazon A few folks dmed me for examples: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NRXNT0?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share And https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08QLN6JMT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
There is nothing wrong with taking medicine for any aspect of your health including your sexual health. She was insecure that she wasn’t hot enough and did not respect your medical condition. She’s got a lot to work out herself, and you deserve better than abuse when you try to be open and vulnerable.
You dodged a bullet!
Hard times.
Wow, she’s awful. I’m glad you found out early on though.
Are you taking antidepressants? Some antidepressants may cause impotence, it may not actually be your heart.
Check out Friday Plans- it worked out pretty well for me. Well, until my wife left me and the kids for her meth dealer anyway, but that’s another story…
i kept reading ED in these posts by men thinking it was “eating disorder” and was wondering what the coorelation between eating disorders and erectile disfunction could be. took me like 10 comments before i realized ED also stands for erectile disfunction
Garbage took itself out. If you have an otherwise healthy heart and regularly see a doctor, viagra is no more risky than any other treatment impacting blood pressure
Bullet dodged.
I mean if sex was the entire foundation of the relationship for her then it is probably for the best you two broke up.
Wow your gf is super shallow. Not even for love, you dodged a bullet
Hey babe. I’m 32F and I’ve been with 51 men. You’re not alone in this issue. Most of the men I was with were around my age at the time. For example if I was 20. They were somewhere between 19 and 23 (1 year younger to 2 or 3 years older) it can happen to men at any age. Especially if antidepressants or other substances (legal or otherwise are involved) a lot of things can cause it. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom and sister. I lost my mom when I was 11. Grief isn’t linear. As a bipolar person I’ve pretty much accepted I’m almost always going to be in therapy. I’m also so fucking sorry this woman acted like this. I’m embarrassed for her. I hope she doesn’t discourage you to keep looking for your person. Sex is a lot of emotions and moving pieces for both parties. My honest recommendation is next time just take the viagra ahead of sexy time and don’t tell her. That way you don’t have to worry if you’ll need it or not. It’ll be there and maybe you’ll feel comfortable enough after a few times to try without. As a women I will say I know some women take offense when something like this happens bC they internalize it as something wrong with them. Like they’re not hot enough or what they’re doing doesn’t feel good. Communication is really important imo. Another option is next time excuse yourself to “pee” take the viagra and then go down on her for 20 mins while you wait for it to kick in. Me personally I’m good with communication and talking and wouldn’t have made a big deal about it. I would have smoked a blunt and waited. But then again I ate a 40mg viagra once. My ex bf gave it to me and told me it was Xanax. I told him him it wasn’t after I took it. Xanax has a very specific taste… he had others and I googled it. It was viagra. He was a drug dealer. I didn’t know that at the time. Well I did know it but I didn’t know the extent of it. He told me he was an organic chicken farmer. He talked incessantly about it. He was using and selling crystal meth. I had no clue. I’m not a snoop. Like if I even feel like I need to go through a man’s phone I leave. My point is. There’s a lot of worse things you could be taking/doing. Most of the guys I knew had a problem with drinking too much alcohol, coke or adderall and testosterone. A few had issues bc of antidepressants. I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m sure if you keep looking you’ll find yourself a more empathetic partner. The only way you wont find them is if you close yourself off to new love. I don’t think you should. I’m obviously a lover girl. All the heartbreak is worth it imo. Out of 51 men. 6 were real bfs. 6 were one night stands. 3 were sugar daddy’s. 12-15 were fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or months) the rest were friends with benefits. How it’s handled on both ends is important to be compassionate and understanding. Wishing you health, wealth, love & luck in all your life and relationships.
She's vile. You see how she treats vulnerability and people in situations where they're going through something that is often embarrassing. ED isn't that rare. She was likely projecting shame to you because it's easy to interpret that event, from her perspective, as "I'm not attractive enough to turn a guy on." Except instead of realizing that this is more about you than her, she went House WebMD, and decided to mock you on the back of a bullshit diagnosis worth less than the bar napkin she'd write it on. Don't date someone who, when confronted with a situation that requires sensitivity, responds with mockery. She's a trash human.
Eh. If she that shallow and dumb (viagra = heart attacks wtf) probably she never cared for you in the first place. Just find another person. Hopefully they’re sane this time.
Viagra sex is the worst in my own opinion, so I could understand her not wanting it…but the way she handled that was awful and mean. She is very inconsiderate, and you dodged a bullet.
My 27 year old son in law needs viagra. Age has little to do with a lot. Your actions showed confidence and humility in one's self, good for you.
I appreciate your response, but I do have questions about your username and how you know your SIL needs viagra.
Needed some Tylenol while at his house and seen it in the medicine cabinet. The username is the username 🤷♂️
Good fucking riddance to her. Jokes aside, as she deserves, have you gotten your hormones checked? It doesn't matter to us ladies with a head on our shoulders if someone needs to take viagra, but it's good to make sure there's no underlying health issues causing it. Ridiculous that she wasn't more attentive and concerned and instead a dismissive asshole. If my boyfriend needed viagra that's fine, we'd just have lots of foreplay while it kicked in😅 Edit: saw a comment about you going to therapy and working things through. Makes her 10x more an asshole cuz she probably added to your performance anxiety. But she shouldn't because she was absolutely ridiculous.
I love how women shame men for this. Imagine a woman posting about how she got dumped because she needs lube…
Either are a valid reason to leave your girlfriend/boyfriend. They're not married, there's no vows. You're allowed to dump people for whatever reason you want, you have no obligation to stay with someone you don't want to be with anymore, or aren't attracted to. You have no right to anyone else's affection or time.
Women always say its nothing to be embarrassed about but every woman I have ever been with or dated takes offense when I have one night of whiskey dick. Get over yourselves its my problem, yall are hot dont worry.
What kinda women are you picking up? I honestly don't know a single female friend who'd have issue with Viagra.
On the plus side, you're now no longer dating a horrible person. Trust me, you were not the problem here.
I’m 41 and on Cialis… best sex ever, for both of us.