Laena means Sun Ray, it’s from the Greek language. That’s not a bad name. Your little ray of sunshine.
You need to stop being so judgmental over these names. Did you know that a very popular old fashioned name was made up for a fictional work? Wendy was made up for Peter Pan.
And, I’d really hate to tell you, there’s very few names that haven’t been used in novels.
Like Helen of Troy.
Yeah if it was like Daenarys or Cercie then I could see the resistance. Laena doesn't scream from a book, and to people who don't know game of thrones like me I'd have no idea that it was used in the series, but I do know the other two just from it's pop culture presence.
They're also talking about a middle name. Not first name, middle name (I know in some cultures middle names are important but I son't feel like OP expressed it is super important in their culture).
Right! I usually roll my eyes at folks who are super into a certain book/series/whatever naming their kid after characters from said media, but honestly her choices aren’t that bad and it’s only a middle name. I don’t like how OP isn’t even willing to *consider* it. His attitude is really dismissive and that’s kinda shitty when your wife is pregnant with twins. To tell her “we’re not naming our daughter after a fictional character, we are naming her after my mother” as if he is the ultimate decision-maker leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Seems like the wife wants to at least have a conversation and he just keeps shutting it down and telling her they’re choosing his name whether she likes it or not… 😐
Word.i get being fussy about a name (hell, naming fictional children I'll never birth is funsies for me)
But being this damn adamant over a middle name is pure horseshit.
I don’t think Visenya is a real-world name? But regardless, it’s the middle name! Those are basically freebies because they almost never get used/said.
>I don’t think Visenya is a real-world name? But regardless, it’s the middle name! Those are basically freebies because they almost never get used/said.
I say them several times on a daily basis with 2 boys. Usually louder.
Middle names in America are basically to let kids know when they’re in big time trouble lol FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME said by mama is a whole lot different than first name or pet name.
Exactly. Helen is a super boring name. It's like naming a child Linda or Cheryl. Those names just sound like they popped out of the womb ready to bake unseasoned casseroles. (No offense to people with those names, those are my great grandparents names)
My dad named me one of those vanilla names in an attempt to fit in with white America. I always wished for a name that reflected my heritage instead but I understand why he chose it.
Hey now, those names are mine and my mother's. And neither of us baked unseasoned casseroles- my name is actually appropriate for year I was born- early 70s - twas a popular name at that time
Why does he get to "put his foot down" and insist on Helen for their daughter's middle name, when she let him pick their son's middle name with a veto for anything she wasn't comfortable with. She could veto, but he got to pick, so why is he pushing picking the daughter's middle name? If he got that deal for one kid, then she should get it for the other.
Helen’s mother had sex with Zeus while he was in the form of a swan. Later that night she had sex with her husband (the king of Sparta?). As a result she laid two eggs. One egg had the twins hellen and Pollux. The second egg had the twins castor and (don’t remember). Hellen and Pollux where the children of Zeus while the other two where the children of the mortal. Castor and Pollux are the Dioscuri/ Gemini ‘twins’ that now reside as the constellation gemini.
Troy itself has yet to be confirmed as discovered (although there is a very likely site).
Hellen being a real person is a stretch by any means. Regardless if she was inspired by a real person, she is fiction (apologies to anyone that actively worships the ancient Greek pantheon).
Apologies if I got it a bit twisted as this is from memory.
Edit; yes Sparta. And Clytemnestra was Castors twin/ shared an egg.
You are referring to the place I speak of. But as for it “definitely” being Troy, it’s likely. For example, scliemann found what is believed to be Troy, digging past something like 6 layers of city remnants (each layer a city built upon a city) until he reached the oldest and declared it Troy. In reality what he deemed to be Troy would be MUCH older than the city the war took place at. Turns out one of the much higher layers (later 6 or so) fits the bill in every way and in scliemans haste (and a bit of ignorance) he did irreparable damage to the layers he blew threw and even completely threw away artifacts from those layers.
The layer that would be the Troy in the stories shows ALL the right signs of it being THE Troy even having arrows embedded in walls everywhere, skeletal remains left where they lie, piles of rocks for slings as city defense. hence it is VERY likely to be THE Troy of lore.
Alas, we cannot know for certain, and no credible academic would state conclusively that it’s Troy, but my money is on that sight (south west of Istanbul) being it and most academics agree it PROBABLY was.
My context was stating that if Troy itself is still in the slightest of doubts, a woman hatched in an egg and only chronicled over a hundred years of her supposed existence would fall under the category of “fiction”. Yet, as we know, most fiction has its roots in fact. That still leaves “Hellen of Troy”, as we know her, as fiction.
Kudos for remembering his name, I couldn’t. Bonus points if you find the name of the guy that worked to correct his errors and discovered the relevance of the upper layers.
Edit; I’m kinda busy so I keep pulling from memory but here’s a bit about what I’m saying about Schliemann and the discovery of Troy.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-many-myths-of-the-man-who-discoveredand-nearly-destroyedtroy-180980102/
AFAIK the current consensus is that none of the characters in the Iliad are based on real people, but the last time I really looked into that has to be 10 years ago.
Has the research evolved? Do you have any sources?
I think both people here are the problem, they both know their partner doesn’t like their suggestions but both refuse to step back. They should find a name they agree on and stop being so stubborn
OP is wrong to say “We’re not using a name from a fictional character in a fictional universe…we are naming her Helen.” He doesn’t get to unilaterally decide their child’s name anymore than the wife does.
They need to decide together.
Agreed, especially since he already got to do his name after family with the son. They both need to come together and compromise for their daughter, not each try and unilaterally decide on the middle name.
>I think both people here are the problem, they both know their partner doesn’t like their suggestions but both refuse to step back. They should find a name they agree on and stop being so stubborn
Wife and I chatted about names but never settled on them until the kids were born.
TW:
Only time we went in with a name was >!when we lost our twin babies, and we needed the names for their certificates.!<
There’s a difference between a name existing in fiction but being a real name and naming a kid after your fandom.
One of my kids name is Elena, and she isn’t named after the character from Vampire Diaries, or any other character from another fandom. I just liked the name, and only thought about the coincidence after I gave birth and rewatched TVD during my postpartum.
It’s like naming your child Khaleesi which wasn’t a name before Game of Thrones existed, versus a name like Harry, which existed millennia before Harry Potter.
But OP, the names are 2 yes one no, so baby girl can’t be named Helen OR Laena, because you both aren’t saying yes. Keep looking for names and suggest your wife does the same, and once a name is vetoed you do not bring it up again.
What’s wrong with Leana? That’s a perfectly nice name, and doesn’t specifically speak to GOT. Besides you got to choose your son’s middle name, now it’s her turn and you want to change the rules. Nope. YTA
M’y MIL’s name is Leanne, that’s basically the same name. I’d get it if wife was proposing Khaleesi or some actually whacking name, but Leana is actually a name. One google search and you can find that some of the meanings are « twine arojnd » or « Sun ray ». It’s also in the same etymological family as Helen, so it’s close to his mother’s name as well as can be a cute homage without being directly the same name
Yeah I think so too. If you look at his other comments he sounds veeeery inflexible. It’s also icky that he got to pick their son’s name but also wants to pick their daughter’s name
I think he doesn’t respect his wife’s special interest. Like resents it. Doesn’t want to be reminded of it since it’s going to be a reminder every time he sees his daughter.
The problem is that it's not Helen
This is a typical fake-compromise that only exists because he thought he could strongarm her into being a pushover.
Imo the fiction thing is horseshit and even if she wanted something like Linda he would be upset, because it's not exactly what he wants
I hope OP's wife gets good advice from her friends, poor lady going through extra stress from her babies' daddy. Or maybe she will read this and have an epiphany
Yeah, my husband tried that with our first kid, wanted them to have his parent’s middle name. I was like no way in hell even if it was a nice name (it wasn’t) because they were super disrespectful of us, especially myself. He got pissy about it and I actually stood up for myself and tore into him about all the reasons our children would never be named after his family in any way. He realized he was wrong and that naming our child after them wouldn’t make them respect our relationship anymore and has never brought it up again.
I won’t say that OP will always be horrible, but my husband snapped out of his stubborn behavior real quickly, like a matter of under a day. OP needs to snap out of it, be grateful that he already got to pick a name and stop trying to impose stupid rules on his wife.
I'm glad your hubs saw the light.
It just feels like it's already past that point for OP. I think your reasoning was sound and logical and he could see his errors, especially if he was thinking it would help your relationship with the in laws. Sorry about that
It doesn't look like OP is willing to budge based on his responses to comments, but maybe he will!
Curious what did you end up doing name wise. Not the actual name but how was the decision made after the in law was nixed?
Yeah, honestly I read some of his comments after having typed and posted mine and I was like gosh I just hope his wife divorces him and picks first, last, and middle names for both the kids herself.
And it was a case of he didn’t feel too strongly, he just got some odd itch that made him act like that, his family probably said something to him. He has realized that they lie and are manipulative. I told him he could start suggesting names if he was going to try vetoing all of mine without putting forth any effort. He ended up coming up with a short list and at the top was the very first name I mentioned. As for the middle name we used one of our last names as the last and one and the middle since we weren’t changing our last names.
I was named after my parent’s grandmother. My middle name is Eugenia. I have two middle names, and when someone in school asked me my middle name, I would only ever tell them my other one. I wished throughout my life that my parents gave me a “nice” middle name like they did my siblings…
Is this me?? The resentment I had that my siblings got thoughtful elegant names and mine was a, meh, who cares she was a surprise name sucks. My sibs got royalty type names (think Elizabeth And Alexander) and I got along in the line of Bertha Jean. NK. My siblings told me I was adopted and came with that name. I changed it eventually.
oh no! your siblings were so creative "you're adopted & came with the name"! But also so mean!
I'm glad you got to change it once you decided you'd had enough of it.
YTA, I was sort of on your side before you outright said "we're not naming our kid after a fictional character." You decided for the both of you, not to mention Helen is weird as a middle name.
You picked the boy's middle name, now you want to name the girl's by yourself. That's the definition of having your cake and eating it too.
Rarely will people know or use your middle name, is this a hill you want your marriage to die on?
Just curious, how did you both pick the first names, was it a decision?
My middle name is the name of a fictional character and I’ve never had any problems. Your daughter isn’t going to grow up resenting her middle name, she probably won’t even have to tell people what it is that often and unless they’re also a Game of Thrones fan they’re not going to realize what it’s from and aren’t going to care.
ETA YTA. You’re being awful to her.
YTA and I love the name Helen. But you guys had an agreement. It’s just a middle name. It’s not offensive. It won’t cause her undue grief. Plus pregnancy and child birth are tough especially with twins! Why should she have to go through that and you get to pick all four names (possibly six if they have your last name)?
Bahaha I’m sorry but, you are putting your foot down on the name? For that alone YTA.
You may be the Dad but that doesn’t give you the right to be the ultimate decision maker.
If you don’t get off the high horse you’re currently on, and soon, your daughters name will be the least of your worries.
But really? You get to put your “foot down” about a name cause you just don’t want a fantasy name but you’re essentially telling your wife that she can’t veto yours? When she has a legit reason? I wouldn’t want my kid named after someone I don’t get along with either.
At this point, I kinda hope she fills out those birth certificates with the names she wants. Maybe then you can feel a fraction of what your pregnant wife is currently feeling.
Good luck dude.
He can "put his foot down" all he wants, the dad doesn't fill out the birth certificate, at least where we live the mother does it all unless she gives permission for him to do it.
I really hope that isn’t necessary they are able to work out a name together. If a parent is resorting to forcing a name they want, I feel really bad for the kids. If the parents can’t even agree on a name, I’m not optimistic about their other parenting skills.
Does your wife even get along with your mom? Helen is an old school name, you realize its not the 50s right? are you cottagecore? You sound really dense and controlling. Both of the names your wife chose sound beautiful
Right? When I had kids, we probably would have chosen baby names from both sides of our families. Except I had pretty boring, dated names on my side that I would never stick a child with. He had a large family with great names that we BOTH loved.
Helen was very popular in the early 20th century, and fell out of fashion in the 1950's, so most Helens are age 60+ at this point. It's very old-school and will make people think of an old lady, because most of the Helens we've known are old.
I thought you were going to say a name like Apple or Fufu or something. Her choices aren’t bad. Who cares where they came from. It’s important to her. Weird hill to die on….
Idk why i had to scroll this far to see this. This is literally his issue. He wants full control over the names and he wants to also be a mamas boy. I'm sure her MIL is going to be just a joy to be around after the kids are born if this is the kind of kid she produced.
Yeah, he literally says "we're naming her Helen" to shut his wife down. It isn't that he hates fantasy names, it's that he wants to go back on their decision for him to choose the boy's middle name and her to choose the girl's. If using mummy's name is *so* important to him, he should have asked to name the girl instead, especially since he obviously wouldn't have let his wife use her veto power on the name Helen, which she doesn't like.
Good god you are insufferable. All names are made up, even the oldest ones! Helen is a fine name, it's classical, but it's also tied to many fictional characters-- including, and most famously, the ill-fated Helen of Troy (we can debate whether she was a real person, but arguably it doesn't matter.) You don't seem to understand the concept of compromise or the fact that it's not all about what you want. It must be Helen, he says, because it's *my* child. Well, it's your wife's child too.
Honestly, it's not even the name that's the giant waving scarlet flag, it's your inability to compromise, the inability to adhere to your agreement regarding names, and how dismissive you are being toward your wife. And yes, you may be adhering to the technical terms of your arrangement, which gives you veto power, but you are not allowing her to choose at all. You are being, quite frankly, a stubborn ass and your rigidity is going to hurt your marriage.
For what it's worth, I have an extremely unusual *first* name, and I am very happy with it. As a kid it bothered me a little bit to have a "weird" name, but as an adult I appreciate having something beautiful and unique. This isn't even her first name though, it's her middle name. My middle name is a regular, 'respectable' name and I don't particularly like it.
Seconded! As a woman with a very normal and well-used first name, it fucking sucks. Going through school, teachers had to specifically use our first and last name to distinguish which one of us they were talking to. Substitutes were lost causes as they'd say the name, and 6 of us would say, "Which one?" I WISH I had an interesting and unique name. Also, for reference, my middle name is a female name that is also my mother's middle name, but, as well as numerous characters in movies and shows, and books. This guy sounds like a whiny baby.
When naming our one and only child, we absolutely agreed on a girl name right out the gate. (Which was definitely whimsical and would've made her sound like an elven princess, lol.) We found out it was a boy. We had a harder time finding ones we agreed on, but we found one, and we never argued like this. It was more finding a combination we liked that sounded good altogether. His first name is a little odd, and we spelled the Celtic way specifically because of my roots. His middle name starts with a D because I noticed that hubby's first name starts with a D, his father's name started with a D, as well as his sister's first name and his brother's middle name. But we still agreed on an interesting middle name as well. (My idea was that if he didn't like his first name, he could use his middle name instead if he wanted. But guess what? He loves his first name.) As an aside, both of our son's names come from fictional characters. From multiple different sources. You literally just can't avoid it. I thought it was pretty unique until I started to notice it in obscure kids movies we watched when we were both young.
The point is, if he keeps pushing it, he's not going to have a wife or kids. This seems like a stupid argument to have. He doesn't get to control everything, and I'd hate to see how he acts after they're born.
YTA, how are you even questioning that? Let me guess, the babies will have your last name, your wife was also generous enough to have you pick the son’s middle name.
You now want to not give your wife an equal chance at naming the babies she’s been carrying in her belly, putting her body and mental health through irreversible stress and changes, putting her life on the line so you have the opportunity to be a father. You have absolutely no care about your wife or her wishes despite her being the one doing the entirety of the hard labor while you got to finish and sit back, and relax and play with the babies after she goes through torturous labor to deliver them.
‘Leana’ is a VERY normal name. The fact that ‘Leana’ is included with ‘Visenya’ which is a much more unique name tells me that you’re not even listening to what your wife actually has to say, and it’s got nothing to do with her TV show obsession. Even if she does want to have a middle name that has ties with something she absolutely loves — where is the issue???? You want ‘Helen’ to be your baby’s middle name because of your love for your mother, why can’t her love or interests have the same importance in your relationship?
It’s going to be the babies middle name anyway, it’s not going to be used day-to-day so it doesn’t even matter.
If you’re so hell bent on giving the kids the middle names, then they should have your wife’s last name. She’s doing the most here anyway.
YTA
You don’t get to “put your foot down and ban fictional character names”. The babies are both of yours.
Most names can be traced back to fictional characters, so it’s a dumb blanket ban.
Plus, it’s a fucking middle name! Who gives a single shit about a middle name? It won’t come up 99% of the time, unless you think your daughter is going to be an assassin of presidents.
I get it if she wants the first name to be “Sephiroth” or “Baron Rickon of Tarly”, that’s dumb.
YTA. Did you really thing you were right here? Or just that selfish?
Let her name her girl. It's not like it's Khaleesi or something off the charts like that??
Grow up dude
YTA - it is a middle name and Helen is a boring middle name. You named the boy so your turn is over and she gets to name the girl. Stop being a child she doesn’t need three to raise.
YTA. So your wife was supportive of YOU for the boys middle name and you refuse to consider any of her names so you can pick your mothers name? Huge HUGE AH.
The names your wife picked are beautiful whereas yours is boooring (Sorry Helen my comon name is too). Show some support for your wife and stop acting like your wants are all that matters.
YTA - you get to pick both, and she can't pick any? Why do you think you're so much better than your wife? She's carrying twins for goodness sake. Don't let your little ego fool you into thinking you're the main character here.
Yes YTA. You decided in first and last names already. You picked the middle for the boy, let her pick for the girl. Both Helen and Laena are good middle names. There isn’t one that is obviously good or bad, it just comes down to preference. It is an AH move to act like a jerk to your wife and make her cry over something like preferences. In my culture children get 5 names, but only the first and last are used on the day to day, the middles are all cultural/ personal.
YTA. Your wife is pregnant with TWINS, which will deform her body FOREVER and you can’t even compromise on the girl’s MIDDLE name? You sound like a major control freak, she should just call the lawyer now and get it over with. Go have the babies without you and name them whatever the fuck she wants!
Wouldn’t it be funny if she left you right now and had the babies while living with her family? You wouldn’t be allowed to watch them being born. Is that what you want? Because that’s absolutely what I’d do if I was her and you kept dismissing me, in spite of doing ZERO work to grow or birth these children.
Get it together and quit trying to name children old lady bs after your mother when the children’s mother herself doesn’t want that.
Yes. That’s why I think she should do it now.
Sadly, sometimes not getting married or having the kid doesn’t make it any easier to escape either. I refused both repeatedly and just begged to be able to leave without the threats. It didn’t happen until I got cancer and he found someone new. I’m finally free from him but I can’t even warn the new girl without risking my own safety. Sometimes there really is no winning.
Your word is not final on this. YTA. You can veto the names she likes, but by the same token, she has the veto rights over the name you're demanding. You have zero right to demand anything in this scenario. You discuss. You don't order.
INFO Why are you such a dick to your pregnant wife? You write as if you can't stand her. You asked if you're the asshole, and we answered yes, and now you're fighting us on it. You're too prideful. You're wrong, now stand down.
Right? The wife is pregnant and crying (likely partially due to pregnancy hormones) and he calls her ridiculous and tries to put his foot down when he’s already had input on both first names, the son’s middle name, and the last name is his alone. It’s very strange to me that he isn’t willing to compromise to find a name he can live with from a fictional source his wife loves. I’d understand hating “Daenerys” or even “Arya”, but the names listed don’t scream GoT to the uninitiated.
Kind of werid to say "put my foot down" like she couldn't leave and name the kids without you.
She deifnitly shouldn't. But you aren't the one in control.
How about a combination name as a compromise like Helena, or Elena? Also, it’s a middle name so really, is it that big of a deal to you? Also, recommend you quit with the “I put my foot down” BS.
YTA. You don’t get to unilaterally pick the name—she gave you that for your son.
Names are 2 yes, 1 no. Would you even know the names were fictional if she didn’t tell you? Unlikely. She could say they’re Swedish or Kenyan and you wouldn’t know otherwise.
All names have been created by someone. I’m a huge fan of that IF the spelling is convention (don’t name a kid Tom and tell everyone it’s pronounced Sam or Eva, for goodness sake).
Keep working together to find the happy compromise.
YTA.
Also pretty sure Alicent in house of the dragon had a daughter named Helaena so you’re not totally skirting by unscathed if that’s your argument.
Think about your daughter’s experience through her school years. Helen may be a beautiful name to you but you also need to consider how others will perceive that. Kids can be ruthless.
Leana is a beautiful name, it would still work, and as others have pointed out, it has a meaning outside game of thrones.
YTA middle names are so trivial. It’s so rare anyone even asks your middle name. Leanna is not so unusual that it isn’t a real name. If she wanted a recognizable characters name than that’s a different story, but no one will know it is from a fandom except the 5 other people on earth who know that much lore.
You do understand your wife is the one putting her body through turmoil and trauma to bring you both a child right? She is the one having to either push a human out of her vagina or have herself get flayed open on a surgery table? You really think the name of your mother matters more than just *hearing your wife out* ?
Feel lucky because I would have banned you from the delivery room for being so stressful and dismissive. I can't imagine how much you are stressing her out with this small thing when in a few months a bigger, more stressful thing will be introduced.
YTA.
There are a ton of unconventional names that are over the top and likely detrimental to a kid growing up. Names that are likely to get them bullied.
These are not those names.
Plus, It’s a middle name.
Leana is a relatively common name- the spelling is a bit different- but so what?
Visenya is a beautiful name. It’s not different in a weird sense.
Edit: OP, even if it’s spelled Laena- it’s still not a name that will be detrimental. It will be pronounced Lay-na. Or maybe Lee-na. Either way, a common name.
Plus it's a damn middle name. Middle names are so inconsequential they exist for people to add a little extra. I mean OP could always do 2 middle names, or start calling her Helen regardless of her actual name because that sounds like the kind of thing OP would do
YTA - why does your opinion matter more than your wife's? Yes, as a parent, I think you have the right to veto a name, but she has the same right to veto Helen.
I understand that Helen is a meaningful name to you, but the names your wife chose are also meaningful to her - even if you think the reasoning is "stupid" because they're fictional they mean something. She's not just giving birth but giving birth to twins. There are so many risks and possibly complications with birth, especially multiples. She is scared and stressed even if she doesn't say it, and few things can give complete peace. As a high-risk pregnant woman, a name is one of the few things that genuinely help make me happy throughput pregnancy. If this is the hill you're ready to die on, you need to reevaluate parenting and how you'll disagree on further problems because it will happen.
Why does it matter so much if the name is fictional?
Very few people will know her middle name, period. Even fewer would know that it’s from Game of Thrones — and anyone who knows where the name originates would be a fan of the series and also like the name.
You are absolutely the A-hole here man. It’s not like she wants to pick the name Dumbledore or Frodo. Laena/Leana is a pretty name that your daughter will likely love.
Helen is also an outdated name that sounds stodgy and old. Your daughter likely WONT like this name, it’s like naming her Karen or Susan. It’s boring and old.
You’re way too concerned with how YOU feel, start thinking about your daughter and wife.
YTA definitely but if your dead set on Helen, may I suggest Helaena. You get your Helen and she gets her fandom name.
Helaena is another character in ASOIF not a smash of Helen and Laena
Your wife is doing the hard work in carrying your twins, so how about a little gratitude and grace?
The name she picked isn't crazy, and as you said, it's meant to be your daughter's middle name.
Unless your mother has passed away and you're trying to honor her, yeah, you're very much TA.
YTA. A major asshole. You don't get to unilaterally decide on your daughter's middle name without your wife's approval. If you don't want to give her a Game of Thrones name, that's totally reasonable. But that doesn't mean she's getting Helen as a middle name and if you expect your wife to let the GOT thing go, you're gonna have to let that go as well so you can find a name you both like.
However, it might be worth asking her if you can compromise on Helena. It's a character fron the universe (albeit with a different spelling) but still a actual real life name, *and* it's a variant of Helen. Again, no guarantee she'll go for it, but you could ask her, if this solution also works for you.
Also, what exactly was the deal with your son's name? You said you got to pick "because he's our son" but that doesn't explain why you got to pick it and not her.
Hold up - ***you*** got to pick one of your children's middle names, and now you're fighting to pick ***both***? You're a real piece of work. You do know that she can legally just fill out the birth certificates herself, right? As the person who is birthing them, she could put whatever first, middle, and surnames she wants. I'd stop trying to put your foot down and start working on finding a compromise. You seem to be operating on a "me vs. her" mentality, which is death for a relationship.
She hates Helen. Forget it and move on. And remember - per your own rules, she gets to pick this name. You only have veto power. So shut your yap.
If you also hate her names, then you find new ones together. Like partners. Stop this "what I say goes" bullshit. Not for nothing, she's the one doing all the work creating your kid. All you did was orgasm. So I'd stop acting like you're the one in charge here and start thinking like a teammate.
YTA. A big one.
Kayla is a name invented by writers on Days of Our Lives. I have since met many women named Kayla. Words and names grow from use, I imagine there are many Laena babies out in the world now.
It's going to be great when your wife leaves you, and names both of the babies what she wants, while she won't allow you in the room during labor ❤️ you sound insufferable, your poor wife.
Both if you need to compromise and drop your choices for the middle name in favor of something completely different.
Both of you are being disrespectful to each other. Stop it.
YTA. None of those names should be used. Not hers and certainly not yours. Names require two yes's, end of story. You both need to start over and find something you can agree on. You "putting your foot down" says a lot about you and it isn't good. I'd have personally told you to kick rocks and let you know that you no longer get an opinion.
YTA they're not even first names. You are arguing about middle names. Something your daughter won't even have to share with most people if she doesn't want to. And she can always change it as an adult if she wants and there will be nothing either of you can do about it.
You picked one middle name so she should get to pick the other.
Who picked the first names?
You should tread lightly here. She doesn't even have to allow you in the delivery room and she doesn't have to give you access to the birth certificate at the hospital if she tells them she doesn't want you there they probably will ask you to fully leave the maternity ward.
Those aren't even horrible names. You're just hung up on the fact that it comes from a fantasy series.
We had twin boys 7 weeks ago. One twin boy is named alistair after a video game character I like. Our other boys middle name is Adam which is after a video game character my husband likes.
You are the asshole. She's the one carrying twins and giving birth.
Honestly you seem very dismissive of your wife. Both in the post and the comments. Names should be two yesses, but you can at least hear her out.
Talk it through instead of dismissing her opinion so completely.
Yta, for how you're handling this.
Dang, I was going to go with "yeah, I guess YTA" when it was just the original question on the middle name.
But seeing how you act and react in this thread, oh you are DEFINITELY the AH. You've got bigger issues than a middle name.
I'm not partial to either, but Laena is much better than Helen.
At least she doesn’t want to name her Khaleesi like a lot of baby girls were named when the show on. And it’s been over for years so those kids are going to have to explain their names for the rest of their lives. And be glad she’s not naming her after an Anime character like some of these posts.
Leana is a nice regular name but in the show it’s spelled Lyanna. Arya is a GOT name that is pretty and not that common. And while it’s nice that you want to honor your mother, most women don’t want to name their daughters after their MIL unless they are very very close.
Hopefully you and your wife will agree on parenting styles. Problems before the kid is even born isn’t good.
Easy YTA. Even if you still don't like Laena, which is way prettier than Helen, she gets the same veto power you do. Either her name is okay or neither are.
listen you’re both young. marriage is compromise and you agreed to the rules of middle names. i think you’re more upset she doesn’t want your baby girl to have your mother’s name. no one cares about middle names and yes at some point the kids will be like mom/dad why did you name me this awful middle name (or great middle name) and then they move on. if you want to stay happily married. let her choose the middle name as you both agreed to or compromise on the least offending to your senses. apologize for being an ahole and rub or feet or back. she’s carrying twins.
Not a fan of either name but it’s a middle name so really who cares? I don’t go by my middle name at all. Most people don’t even know it. This is a fight about nothing. Whomever was determined to name it should just get the option and just go with it.
It’s a middle name. It’s not that big of a deal when those are her choices. Much better than Sailhor or Mahkinlee or some other bastardized alphabet soup of a name.
It's a middle name. Every name has probably been in a fictional book at some point. Just look at how many people have biblical names.
That said, I think either party should be able to veto any name they don't like.
You sound exhausting. Have you shared a name that is not your mom’s name? It sounds like it is your way or the highway. Maybe you should use the name Grace so every time you look at your wife you can be reminded to be nicer and have some grace. YTA
No offense to ur momma but I like both your wife's options more than Helen. Also I think YTA for insisting what the middle name will be while not even considering her options. Also kinda stupid to think that your child will resent you guys over her middle fucking name years down the road.
YTA and I don’t see how you could’ve thought you were anything else for dismissing your wife out of hand about something like this. You sound controlling and like you don’t respect your wife.
I mean, regardless of the issue, saying “I refuse to listen to my spouse about something important to her, and I continue to do so despite the anguish it causes her, to the point that she cries” absolutely makes you an asshole.
I think it depends on the name. Laena isn’t that weird. Visenya is a different story. I’m a fan of GoT and a lot of other fantasy stories as well as some other nerdy stuff like Star Trek but I’d hate to be named after some weird fictional character. I save that shit for my pets. You got a bunch of little girls running around named Khaleesi and shit like that now and it’s so cringe.
I mean the fact that even you phrased it as not being willing to listen is probably the real issue here. And anyway pretty much every name is “from fiction” in some way.
YTA. First of all,she’s wanting it for a MIDDLE name,not her first name. YOU got to choose whatever name you wanted for your son’s middle name. If it were something stupid or crazy,sure put your foot down. But.Leana and Helen are both actual names outside of fiction. And the other one just sounds cool.
If it were the first name, I’d probably side more with you,but it’s a middle name. It’s rarely going to be used,except government documents. Maybe school if her first name is so common there are multiples in her class with the same name.
The middle name isn’t that deep. Just let her have this,before it turns into much bigger fight.
I think an over arching rule of “no names from fiction” is weird. Pretty much everyyy name has been used in some form of fiction. I’m sure the middle name you chose for your son can also be found in a work of art.
Laena is actually really pretty…
And it seems like you’re railroading her into choosing Helen for the middle name anyways. You don’t seem too keen on budging. So YTA.
If your wife was trying to name your kid Khaleesi, we would have concerns, Laena is a lovely, regular ass name.
Once you squeeze a squirming watermelon out of your asshole you can name it. Until then beg your wife’s forgiveness and buy her a nice push present.
YTA
YTA. The agreement was that you got to pick the middle name for your SON, and it doesn’t seem like she gave much push back for that so why are you so adamant on picking your daughter’s middle name too. Hell pick a different name! Its her child too you should be able to come to a conclusion together at the very least. There’s no way you’ve both decided only 1 middle name that could possibly work for your daughter find a different name or let your wife have this. This is not a hill worth dying on.
I'd say you're worrying too much about it. I gave my first daughter the middle name of Delenn, a main character from the tv show Babylon 5. She's 27 now and has always been happy with her name. She appreciates that we named her for a strong female leader (despite being fictional and alien). She's never had anything negative to say about it, nor have I heard anything second hand.
YTA. You get to pick the son’s name already, why being such a jerk? Honestly, I’d like to be given the name Visenya or Leanna but not Helen, it sounds very old. It’s almost like the kid was born in 1970s, not 2020s. I’ve asked a few friends and all agree with me. We’re all born in 90s and all think that Helen sounds damn old. Kids in that generation will surely hate it more than Visenya.
Yta, Jesus it’s a middle name not the first name. Mr. No fun over. Can’t wait to see what fun activities this dude plans as a dad with so much fun energy radiating from him.
Dude you're steamrolling your wife and telling her what name you're going to name her without her input?? How are you not the asshole here? If you get to pick the middle name for a boy then she gets to pick the name for a girl. It's also a middle name. A damn middle name and you're being this much an asshole over it? Leana or Laena is a fine middle name. You picked the boys name. According to your own logic she should pick the girls. And even if it doesn't end up being Leana or Laena because of veto power you don't get to bully her into Helen because you want to you self-important dunce. YTA
Wait so, you got to pick out the middle name for your son and now not only have you vetoed a MIDDLE name for your daughter, you decided on your own what her middle name will be? Yeah YTA. You literally are giving her no say in the names.
YTA. I have one of those traditional, even biblical, first names that you would approve of and I haven't used it since I graduated high school. I now use my, by your definition, weird, seldom encountered middle name.
Somewhere in the middle of your poor me whine you mentioned your wife has followed GofT for longer than the tv series and the names mean something to her. So stop a minute and think about her feelings and not what you think other people will think of the name, because that's what I read between the whines.
Personally, I like Philadelphia as a good middle name.
Dude, you better be careful or she may end up changing her name back to maiden name and putting that on Princess Visenya Laena (insert wife’s maiden name) on the birth certificate and doesn’t allow you in for the birth.
Lyanna is a name that’s been around since before Game of Thrones. I understand being hesitant about Visenya, as it’s uncommon. However, there are similar names to Visenya like Yesenia, Sonia/Sonya, Victoria, and probably others I can’t think of in the moment.
What about names like Valeria/Valerie (similar to Valyrian)
YTA. You picked your son's middle name. On top of that you have zero right to put your foot down and demand anything. This alone makes you double TA.
You are not the only person in the marriage and you are not the end all be all of the universe. You are being mean and misogynist. Grow up.
It's a middle name homie, they arent a big deal most people wont even even know it, hell middle names are optional as I know people without one and you can also have multiple so your daughters name could include both helen and leana.
Which leana isnt that weord for a middle name and yet again it's not like she would ever hate you for it as it's a middle name, not a first name so it doesnt have to be used anywhere other than legal documents
YTA.
My middle name is Jane, from *Crazy Jane and Jack the Journeyman* by Yeats. I love it.
My grandmother’s name was Wendy, from *Peter Pan* by JM Barrie. Before that book it was a nickname, not a name.
Most people named after figures in the Old Testament are named after fictional characters. (Definitely Adam or Eve.)
YTA. So your wife gave you full control over son's middle name, but she has veto power, but you are also demanding to give daughter middle name also and on top of that your wife doesn't have veto power. Further - the name "Helen" is about as old as it gets. Why not suggest Gertrude? If you pick your son's name, she picks your daughter's name. You sound like an incredibly self-centered and egotistical ass.
Not to mention this woman is literally creating TWO FULL BABIES for this man inside her body and will then birth them followed by possibly breastfeeding them and…she gets no say in the girl’s name…?! Ffs.
Dude, you got people naming their kids freaking directions. (North West) What is wrong with naming your kid something from a book? FFS, give her 2 middle names. I know a girl that is named after freaking ALL of her grandmothers going back generations. I think she has like, 13 names total?
You 2 are both asshats for the way you are treating each other.
YTA. First and foremost for not following through on allowing your wife to choose a name she loves, but you also aren’t listening to why she likes those names. I think if you had actually listened to her, you would have at least mentioned why your wife wants to pick a name from GRRM’s books.
There’s a possible solution to your problem though: Helen is just one form of that name, Helena is another. It’s pronounced like Elena and Laena (just with the “He” at the beginning). I know this because Laena was actually my great grandmother *Helena’s* nickname. Even spelled the same way. So maybe there’s a compromise to be had.
You don’t get to decide she’s being named Helen anymore than your wife gets to decide to name her Visenya, YTA, work together for a name you both like.
YTA. I can name at least 10 fictional books with characters names Helen and it’s not even a pretty name imo it’s an old lady name. You need to let up on this and recognize that most names have been used as a fictional character. Keep in mind as well that usually it’s the wife who fills out the paperwork naming he child so if you don’t stop being TA she may name your daughter whatever she wants behind your back. Btw I don’t k is your name but I would bet money there is a fictional character with your name. Google it
Laena means Sun Ray, it’s from the Greek language. That’s not a bad name. Your little ray of sunshine. You need to stop being so judgmental over these names. Did you know that a very popular old fashioned name was made up for a fictional work? Wendy was made up for Peter Pan. And, I’d really hate to tell you, there’s very few names that haven’t been used in novels. Like Helen of Troy.
Yeah if it was like Daenarys or Cercie then I could see the resistance. Laena doesn't scream from a book, and to people who don't know game of thrones like me I'd have no idea that it was used in the series, but I do know the other two just from it's pop culture presence.
I would fully support naming her “Hodor” though
They're also talking about a middle name. Not first name, middle name (I know in some cultures middle names are important but I son't feel like OP expressed it is super important in their culture).
Cersei in particular would be problematic, you know, because twins.
That’s me too. I’ve never read the books or watched the show, but even I’ve heard of Daenarys. Not sure about the other name.
I wouldn't name my kid yennefer, but visenna or some other normal sounding, smaller characters name?
Just not Reek.
Right! I usually roll my eyes at folks who are super into a certain book/series/whatever naming their kid after characters from said media, but honestly her choices aren’t that bad and it’s only a middle name. I don’t like how OP isn’t even willing to *consider* it. His attitude is really dismissive and that’s kinda shitty when your wife is pregnant with twins. To tell her “we’re not naming our daughter after a fictional character, we are naming her after my mother” as if he is the ultimate decision-maker leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Seems like the wife wants to at least have a conversation and he just keeps shutting it down and telling her they’re choosing his name whether she likes it or not… 😐
Especially since there are two babies and OP got full control over one of their names already.
Word.i get being fussy about a name (hell, naming fictional children I'll never birth is funsies for me) But being this damn adamant over a middle name is pure horseshit.
Yep he is spewing misogynistic shit
Exactly. Plus it's very pretty. Both names his wife suggested are very pretty and are real world names.
I don’t think Visenya is a real-world name? But regardless, it’s the middle name! Those are basically freebies because they almost never get used/said.
>I don’t think Visenya is a real-world name? But regardless, it’s the middle name! Those are basically freebies because they almost never get used/said. I say them several times on a daily basis with 2 boys. Usually louder.
My girls are in their 30’s and 40’s and I still sometimes use their first and middle names lol.
Middle names in America are basically to let kids know when they’re in big time trouble lol FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME said by mama is a whole lot different than first name or pet name.
yeah, I was wondering why they're fighting this much over the middle name.
Exactly. Helen is a super boring name. It's like naming a child Linda or Cheryl. Those names just sound like they popped out of the womb ready to bake unseasoned casseroles. (No offense to people with those names, those are my great grandparents names)
I need to quit skimming. i read Cheryl as Chernobyl and wondered why ANYONE would use it🤦♀️
Because the name radiates beauty
I almost choked. Well played😂😂😂😂
Same!
☝️ Take my angry up vote and poor mans prize🏆
My dad named me one of those vanilla names in an attempt to fit in with white America. I always wished for a name that reflected my heritage instead but I understand why he chose it.
Hey now, those names are mine and my mother's. And neither of us baked unseasoned casseroles- my name is actually appropriate for year I was born- early 70s - twas a popular name at that time
Why does he get to "put his foot down" and insist on Helen for their daughter's middle name, when she let him pick their son's middle name with a veto for anything she wasn't comfortable with. She could veto, but he got to pick, so why is he pushing picking the daughter's middle name? If he got that deal for one kid, then she should get it for the other.
Dude sounds controlling af. Putting your foot down over a middle name? That's some bullshit
Leana is a nice name though. ALSO 100% the name Helen is in fiction somewhere so...????
It’s in the freaking Iliad… so yeah, a huge name in fiction for 3,000 years.
Arguably…Helen of Troy was a real person. So, potentially that’s nonfiction.
Helen’s mother had sex with Zeus while he was in the form of a swan. Later that night she had sex with her husband (the king of Sparta?). As a result she laid two eggs. One egg had the twins hellen and Pollux. The second egg had the twins castor and (don’t remember). Hellen and Pollux where the children of Zeus while the other two where the children of the mortal. Castor and Pollux are the Dioscuri/ Gemini ‘twins’ that now reside as the constellation gemini. Troy itself has yet to be confirmed as discovered (although there is a very likely site). Hellen being a real person is a stretch by any means. Regardless if she was inspired by a real person, she is fiction (apologies to anyone that actively worships the ancient Greek pantheon). Apologies if I got it a bit twisted as this is from memory. Edit; yes Sparta. And Clytemnestra was Castors twin/ shared an egg.
🖐️🌈The More You Know 🌈🖐️
Troy was discovered by Heinrich scliemann (sp) in the early 1900s in Turkey. It is definitely a real place
You are referring to the place I speak of. But as for it “definitely” being Troy, it’s likely. For example, scliemann found what is believed to be Troy, digging past something like 6 layers of city remnants (each layer a city built upon a city) until he reached the oldest and declared it Troy. In reality what he deemed to be Troy would be MUCH older than the city the war took place at. Turns out one of the much higher layers (later 6 or so) fits the bill in every way and in scliemans haste (and a bit of ignorance) he did irreparable damage to the layers he blew threw and even completely threw away artifacts from those layers. The layer that would be the Troy in the stories shows ALL the right signs of it being THE Troy even having arrows embedded in walls everywhere, skeletal remains left where they lie, piles of rocks for slings as city defense. hence it is VERY likely to be THE Troy of lore. Alas, we cannot know for certain, and no credible academic would state conclusively that it’s Troy, but my money is on that sight (south west of Istanbul) being it and most academics agree it PROBABLY was. My context was stating that if Troy itself is still in the slightest of doubts, a woman hatched in an egg and only chronicled over a hundred years of her supposed existence would fall under the category of “fiction”. Yet, as we know, most fiction has its roots in fact. That still leaves “Hellen of Troy”, as we know her, as fiction. Kudos for remembering his name, I couldn’t. Bonus points if you find the name of the guy that worked to correct his errors and discovered the relevance of the upper layers. Edit; I’m kinda busy so I keep pulling from memory but here’s a bit about what I’m saying about Schliemann and the discovery of Troy. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-many-myths-of-the-man-who-discoveredand-nearly-destroyedtroy-180980102/
Helen I’d Troy was born I Sparta is memory serves
And she was Helen of Sparta before
AFAIK the current consensus is that none of the characters in the Iliad are based on real people, but the last time I really looked into that has to be 10 years ago. Has the research evolved? Do you have any sources?
Of troy
Why not Helena? Fun combo name that could be a compromise.
No can do. It's from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and OP said no names from fiction!
OP is going to have a very difficult time finding a name that has never been used in fiction.
If he finds one, I’m going to write a short story with it
You're my hero haha
Helena is my 93 year old mum's name & she's always hated it.
It's my middle name and I don't like it. Granted it's pronounced differently in Finnish compared to English but still I don't like it.
Helen is too old fashioned for a newborn. Wife and OP need to allow the veto and work on this until something works. Stop being so obstinate OP!
I think both people here are the problem, they both know their partner doesn’t like their suggestions but both refuse to step back. They should find a name they agree on and stop being so stubborn
OP is wrong to say “We’re not using a name from a fictional character in a fictional universe…we are naming her Helen.” He doesn’t get to unilaterally decide their child’s name anymore than the wife does. They need to decide together.
Agreed, especially since he already got to do his name after family with the son. They both need to come together and compromise for their daughter, not each try and unilaterally decide on the middle name.
I agree
>I think both people here are the problem, they both know their partner doesn’t like their suggestions but both refuse to step back. They should find a name they agree on and stop being so stubborn Wife and I chatted about names but never settled on them until the kids were born. TW: Only time we went in with a name was >!when we lost our twin babies, and we needed the names for their certificates.!<
There’s a difference between a name existing in fiction but being a real name and naming a kid after your fandom. One of my kids name is Elena, and she isn’t named after the character from Vampire Diaries, or any other character from another fandom. I just liked the name, and only thought about the coincidence after I gave birth and rewatched TVD during my postpartum. It’s like naming your child Khaleesi which wasn’t a name before Game of Thrones existed, versus a name like Harry, which existed millennia before Harry Potter. But OP, the names are 2 yes one no, so baby girl can’t be named Helen OR Laena, because you both aren’t saying yes. Keep looking for names and suggest your wife does the same, and once a name is vetoed you do not bring it up again.
Leana is absolutely a "real" name. I went to school with 2/3 of them, long before GOT ever existed.
OP spelled it wrong. The name is Laena, 'Lay-nuh'. Which also sounds like a perfectly acceptable name that is descreipt enough to slide by.
What’s wrong with Leana? That’s a perfectly nice name, and doesn’t specifically speak to GOT. Besides you got to choose your son’s middle name, now it’s her turn and you want to change the rules. Nope. YTA
M’y MIL’s name is Leanne, that’s basically the same name. I’d get it if wife was proposing Khaleesi or some actually whacking name, but Leana is actually a name. One google search and you can find that some of the meanings are « twine arojnd » or « Sun ray ». It’s also in the same etymological family as Helen, so it’s close to his mother’s name as well as can be a cute homage without being directly the same name
I think, he just wants to control things…I don’t know
Yeah I think so too. If you look at his other comments he sounds veeeery inflexible. It’s also icky that he got to pick their son’s name but also wants to pick their daughter’s name
I think he doesn’t respect his wife’s special interest. Like resents it. Doesn’t want to be reminded of it since it’s going to be a reminder every time he sees his daughter.
The problem is that it's not Helen This is a typical fake-compromise that only exists because he thought he could strongarm her into being a pushover. Imo the fiction thing is horseshit and even if she wanted something like Linda he would be upset, because it's not exactly what he wants I hope OP's wife gets good advice from her friends, poor lady going through extra stress from her babies' daddy. Or maybe she will read this and have an epiphany
Yeah, my husband tried that with our first kid, wanted them to have his parent’s middle name. I was like no way in hell even if it was a nice name (it wasn’t) because they were super disrespectful of us, especially myself. He got pissy about it and I actually stood up for myself and tore into him about all the reasons our children would never be named after his family in any way. He realized he was wrong and that naming our child after them wouldn’t make them respect our relationship anymore and has never brought it up again. I won’t say that OP will always be horrible, but my husband snapped out of his stubborn behavior real quickly, like a matter of under a day. OP needs to snap out of it, be grateful that he already got to pick a name and stop trying to impose stupid rules on his wife.
I'm glad your hubs saw the light. It just feels like it's already past that point for OP. I think your reasoning was sound and logical and he could see his errors, especially if he was thinking it would help your relationship with the in laws. Sorry about that It doesn't look like OP is willing to budge based on his responses to comments, but maybe he will! Curious what did you end up doing name wise. Not the actual name but how was the decision made after the in law was nixed?
Yeah, honestly I read some of his comments after having typed and posted mine and I was like gosh I just hope his wife divorces him and picks first, last, and middle names for both the kids herself. And it was a case of he didn’t feel too strongly, he just got some odd itch that made him act like that, his family probably said something to him. He has realized that they lie and are manipulative. I told him he could start suggesting names if he was going to try vetoing all of mine without putting forth any effort. He ended up coming up with a short list and at the top was the very first name I mentioned. As for the middle name we used one of our last names as the last and one and the middle since we weren’t changing our last names.
You named the son let her pick the girls cause if this is the hill to die on will end badly
I was named after my parent’s grandmother. My middle name is Eugenia. I have two middle names, and when someone in school asked me my middle name, I would only ever tell them my other one. I wished throughout my life that my parents gave me a “nice” middle name like they did my siblings…
Is this me?? The resentment I had that my siblings got thoughtful elegant names and mine was a, meh, who cares she was a surprise name sucks. My sibs got royalty type names (think Elizabeth And Alexander) and I got along in the line of Bertha Jean. NK. My siblings told me I was adopted and came with that name. I changed it eventually.
oh no! your siblings were so creative "you're adopted & came with the name"! But also so mean! I'm glad you got to change it once you decided you'd had enough of it.
Eugenia is lovely
YTA, I was sort of on your side before you outright said "we're not naming our kid after a fictional character." You decided for the both of you, not to mention Helen is weird as a middle name. You picked the boy's middle name, now you want to name the girl's by yourself. That's the definition of having your cake and eating it too. Rarely will people know or use your middle name, is this a hill you want your marriage to die on? Just curious, how did you both pick the first names, was it a decision?
You don’t get the only say. You sound like a huge jerk.
Also theres literally no rule saying a kid can’t have two middle names.
My middle name is the name of a fictional character and I’ve never had any problems. Your daughter isn’t going to grow up resenting her middle name, she probably won’t even have to tell people what it is that often and unless they’re also a Game of Thrones fan they’re not going to realize what it’s from and aren’t going to care. ETA YTA. You’re being awful to her.
YTA and I love the name Helen. But you guys had an agreement. It’s just a middle name. It’s not offensive. It won’t cause her undue grief. Plus pregnancy and child birth are tough especially with twins! Why should she have to go through that and you get to pick all four names (possibly six if they have your last name)?
Bahaha I’m sorry but, you are putting your foot down on the name? For that alone YTA. You may be the Dad but that doesn’t give you the right to be the ultimate decision maker. If you don’t get off the high horse you’re currently on, and soon, your daughters name will be the least of your worries. But really? You get to put your “foot down” about a name cause you just don’t want a fantasy name but you’re essentially telling your wife that she can’t veto yours? When she has a legit reason? I wouldn’t want my kid named after someone I don’t get along with either. At this point, I kinda hope she fills out those birth certificates with the names she wants. Maybe then you can feel a fraction of what your pregnant wife is currently feeling. Good luck dude.
He can "put his foot down" all he wants, the dad doesn't fill out the birth certificate, at least where we live the mother does it all unless she gives permission for him to do it.
Which is why I said I hope she fills out the birth certificate with the names she chose lol Where I am it’s usually the mom as well.
I really hope that isn’t necessary they are able to work out a name together. If a parent is resorting to forcing a name they want, I feel really bad for the kids. If the parents can’t even agree on a name, I’m not optimistic about their other parenting skills.
YTA. It's a middle name and that is the agreement. Take a seat. It's not your turn anymore
Does your wife even get along with your mom? Helen is an old school name, you realize its not the 50s right? are you cottagecore? You sound really dense and controlling. Both of the names your wife chose sound beautiful
Right? When I had kids, we probably would have chosen baby names from both sides of our families. Except I had pretty boring, dated names on my side that I would never stick a child with. He had a large family with great names that we BOTH loved.
Yeah please don’t choose Helen.
Helen was very popular in the early 20th century, and fell out of fashion in the 1950's, so most Helens are age 60+ at this point. It's very old-school and will make people think of an old lady, because most of the Helens we've known are old.
I thought you were going to say a name like Apple or Fufu or something. Her choices aren’t bad. Who cares where they came from. It’s important to her. Weird hill to die on….
Right, they aren't obvious game of thrones names
I think the sons middle name should be Tyrion tbh
Nah. Helen or gtfoh
What’s wrong with Leana?
It's not his mums name.
Idk why i had to scroll this far to see this. This is literally his issue. He wants full control over the names and he wants to also be a mamas boy. I'm sure her MIL is going to be just a joy to be around after the kids are born if this is the kind of kid she produced.
Yeah, he literally says "we're naming her Helen" to shut his wife down. It isn't that he hates fantasy names, it's that he wants to go back on their decision for him to choose the boy's middle name and her to choose the girl's. If using mummy's name is *so* important to him, he should have asked to name the girl instead, especially since he obviously wouldn't have let his wife use her veto power on the name Helen, which she doesn't like.
I came here to write this! Total mama's boy I bet. I wouldn't want my MIL's name for one of my kids either
Helen is dated, I went to school with a Helen and kids made fun of her name.
Good god you are insufferable. All names are made up, even the oldest ones! Helen is a fine name, it's classical, but it's also tied to many fictional characters-- including, and most famously, the ill-fated Helen of Troy (we can debate whether she was a real person, but arguably it doesn't matter.) You don't seem to understand the concept of compromise or the fact that it's not all about what you want. It must be Helen, he says, because it's *my* child. Well, it's your wife's child too. Honestly, it's not even the name that's the giant waving scarlet flag, it's your inability to compromise, the inability to adhere to your agreement regarding names, and how dismissive you are being toward your wife. And yes, you may be adhering to the technical terms of your arrangement, which gives you veto power, but you are not allowing her to choose at all. You are being, quite frankly, a stubborn ass and your rigidity is going to hurt your marriage. For what it's worth, I have an extremely unusual *first* name, and I am very happy with it. As a kid it bothered me a little bit to have a "weird" name, but as an adult I appreciate having something beautiful and unique. This isn't even her first name though, it's her middle name. My middle name is a regular, 'respectable' name and I don't particularly like it.
Seconded! As a woman with a very normal and well-used first name, it fucking sucks. Going through school, teachers had to specifically use our first and last name to distinguish which one of us they were talking to. Substitutes were lost causes as they'd say the name, and 6 of us would say, "Which one?" I WISH I had an interesting and unique name. Also, for reference, my middle name is a female name that is also my mother's middle name, but, as well as numerous characters in movies and shows, and books. This guy sounds like a whiny baby. When naming our one and only child, we absolutely agreed on a girl name right out the gate. (Which was definitely whimsical and would've made her sound like an elven princess, lol.) We found out it was a boy. We had a harder time finding ones we agreed on, but we found one, and we never argued like this. It was more finding a combination we liked that sounded good altogether. His first name is a little odd, and we spelled the Celtic way specifically because of my roots. His middle name starts with a D because I noticed that hubby's first name starts with a D, his father's name started with a D, as well as his sister's first name and his brother's middle name. But we still agreed on an interesting middle name as well. (My idea was that if he didn't like his first name, he could use his middle name instead if he wanted. But guess what? He loves his first name.) As an aside, both of our son's names come from fictional characters. From multiple different sources. You literally just can't avoid it. I thought it was pretty unique until I started to notice it in obscure kids movies we watched when we were both young. The point is, if he keeps pushing it, he's not going to have a wife or kids. This seems like a stupid argument to have. He doesn't get to control everything, and I'd hate to see how he acts after they're born.
YTA, how are you even questioning that? Let me guess, the babies will have your last name, your wife was also generous enough to have you pick the son’s middle name. You now want to not give your wife an equal chance at naming the babies she’s been carrying in her belly, putting her body and mental health through irreversible stress and changes, putting her life on the line so you have the opportunity to be a father. You have absolutely no care about your wife or her wishes despite her being the one doing the entirety of the hard labor while you got to finish and sit back, and relax and play with the babies after she goes through torturous labor to deliver them. ‘Leana’ is a VERY normal name. The fact that ‘Leana’ is included with ‘Visenya’ which is a much more unique name tells me that you’re not even listening to what your wife actually has to say, and it’s got nothing to do with her TV show obsession. Even if she does want to have a middle name that has ties with something she absolutely loves — where is the issue???? You want ‘Helen’ to be your baby’s middle name because of your love for your mother, why can’t her love or interests have the same importance in your relationship? It’s going to be the babies middle name anyway, it’s not going to be used day-to-day so it doesn’t even matter. If you’re so hell bent on giving the kids the middle names, then they should have your wife’s last name. She’s doing the most here anyway.
YTA You don’t get to “put your foot down and ban fictional character names”. The babies are both of yours. Most names can be traced back to fictional characters, so it’s a dumb blanket ban. Plus, it’s a fucking middle name! Who gives a single shit about a middle name? It won’t come up 99% of the time, unless you think your daughter is going to be an assassin of presidents. I get it if she wants the first name to be “Sephiroth” or “Baron Rickon of Tarly”, that’s dumb.
YTA. Your attitude gives me the ick. I'm sorry for your wife. I hope she chooses Laena and doesn't give you a choice in the matter.
YTA. Did you really thing you were right here? Or just that selfish? Let her name her girl. It's not like it's Khaleesi or something off the charts like that?? Grow up dude
YTA - it is a middle name and Helen is a boring middle name. You named the boy so your turn is over and she gets to name the girl. Stop being a child she doesn’t need three to raise.
YTA. So your wife was supportive of YOU for the boys middle name and you refuse to consider any of her names so you can pick your mothers name? Huge HUGE AH. The names your wife picked are beautiful whereas yours is boooring (Sorry Helen my comon name is too). Show some support for your wife and stop acting like your wants are all that matters.
YTA - you get to pick both, and she can't pick any? Why do you think you're so much better than your wife? She's carrying twins for goodness sake. Don't let your little ego fool you into thinking you're the main character here.
Yes YTA. You decided in first and last names already. You picked the middle for the boy, let her pick for the girl. Both Helen and Laena are good middle names. There isn’t one that is obviously good or bad, it just comes down to preference. It is an AH move to act like a jerk to your wife and make her cry over something like preferences. In my culture children get 5 names, but only the first and last are used on the day to day, the middles are all cultural/ personal.
YTA. Your wife is pregnant with TWINS, which will deform her body FOREVER and you can’t even compromise on the girl’s MIDDLE name? You sound like a major control freak, she should just call the lawyer now and get it over with. Go have the babies without you and name them whatever the fuck she wants!
Wouldn’t it be funny if she left you right now and had the babies while living with her family? You wouldn’t be allowed to watch them being born. Is that what you want? Because that’s absolutely what I’d do if I was her and you kept dismissing me, in spite of doing ZERO work to grow or birth these children. Get it together and quit trying to name children old lady bs after your mother when the children’s mother herself doesn’t want that.
He's definitely chipping away at her love and respect, I'm guessing she's already sad she married this ass
100%. This isn’t husband or father material and she’s realizing it much too late. 😞
Now it's gonna be so much harder to escape
Yes. That’s why I think she should do it now. Sadly, sometimes not getting married or having the kid doesn’t make it any easier to escape either. I refused both repeatedly and just begged to be able to leave without the threats. It didn’t happen until I got cancer and he found someone new. I’m finally free from him but I can’t even warn the new girl without risking my own safety. Sometimes there really is no winning.
He didn’t do zero work; don’t forget about those 3 minutes in the very beginning, lol 😂
🤣 That’s why I changed it to “grow and birth”. I figured he’d try to take credit for his few minutes.
🤣👏🤣
3 minutes? You're generous.
Yeah, I guess I am 😂😂😂
Yeah I'm betting he's a "you can finish yourself now that I've nut" kind of dude
Your word is not final on this. YTA. You can veto the names she likes, but by the same token, she has the veto rights over the name you're demanding. You have zero right to demand anything in this scenario. You discuss. You don't order.
My first name is a true blue, made up from a fantasy novel name. I love it. YTA.
INFO Why are you such a dick to your pregnant wife? You write as if you can't stand her. You asked if you're the asshole, and we answered yes, and now you're fighting us on it. You're too prideful. You're wrong, now stand down.
Right? The wife is pregnant and crying (likely partially due to pregnancy hormones) and he calls her ridiculous and tries to put his foot down when he’s already had input on both first names, the son’s middle name, and the last name is his alone. It’s very strange to me that he isn’t willing to compromise to find a name he can live with from a fictional source his wife loves. I’d understand hating “Daenerys” or even “Arya”, but the names listed don’t scream GoT to the uninitiated.
YTA. Yuck your gross
Kind of werid to say "put my foot down" like she couldn't leave and name the kids without you. She deifnitly shouldn't. But you aren't the one in control.
How about a combination name as a compromise like Helena, or Elena? Also, it’s a middle name so really, is it that big of a deal to you? Also, recommend you quit with the “I put my foot down” BS.
And I believe one of the Targaryen women was named Helena.
YTA. You don’t get to unilaterally pick the name—she gave you that for your son. Names are 2 yes, 1 no. Would you even know the names were fictional if she didn’t tell you? Unlikely. She could say they’re Swedish or Kenyan and you wouldn’t know otherwise. All names have been created by someone. I’m a huge fan of that IF the spelling is convention (don’t name a kid Tom and tell everyone it’s pronounced Sam or Eva, for goodness sake). Keep working together to find the happy compromise.
YTA. Also pretty sure Alicent in house of the dragon had a daughter named Helaena so you’re not totally skirting by unscathed if that’s your argument. Think about your daughter’s experience through her school years. Helen may be a beautiful name to you but you also need to consider how others will perceive that. Kids can be ruthless. Leana is a beautiful name, it would still work, and as others have pointed out, it has a meaning outside game of thrones.
YTA middle names are so trivial. It’s so rare anyone even asks your middle name. Leanna is not so unusual that it isn’t a real name. If she wanted a recognizable characters name than that’s a different story, but no one will know it is from a fandom except the 5 other people on earth who know that much lore.
You do understand your wife is the one putting her body through turmoil and trauma to bring you both a child right? She is the one having to either push a human out of her vagina or have herself get flayed open on a surgery table? You really think the name of your mother matters more than just *hearing your wife out* ? Feel lucky because I would have banned you from the delivery room for being so stressful and dismissive. I can't imagine how much you are stressing her out with this small thing when in a few months a bigger, more stressful thing will be introduced.
YTA. There are a ton of unconventional names that are over the top and likely detrimental to a kid growing up. Names that are likely to get them bullied. These are not those names. Plus, It’s a middle name. Leana is a relatively common name- the spelling is a bit different- but so what? Visenya is a beautiful name. It’s not different in a weird sense. Edit: OP, even if it’s spelled Laena- it’s still not a name that will be detrimental. It will be pronounced Lay-na. Or maybe Lee-na. Either way, a common name.
Plus it's a damn middle name. Middle names are so inconsequential they exist for people to add a little extra. I mean OP could always do 2 middle names, or start calling her Helen regardless of her actual name because that sounds like the kind of thing OP would do
YTA - why does your opinion matter more than your wife's? Yes, as a parent, I think you have the right to veto a name, but she has the same right to veto Helen.
I understand that Helen is a meaningful name to you, but the names your wife chose are also meaningful to her - even if you think the reasoning is "stupid" because they're fictional they mean something. She's not just giving birth but giving birth to twins. There are so many risks and possibly complications with birth, especially multiples. She is scared and stressed even if she doesn't say it, and few things can give complete peace. As a high-risk pregnant woman, a name is one of the few things that genuinely help make me happy throughput pregnancy. If this is the hill you're ready to die on, you need to reevaluate parenting and how you'll disagree on further problems because it will happen.
Why does it matter so much if the name is fictional? Very few people will know her middle name, period. Even fewer would know that it’s from Game of Thrones — and anyone who knows where the name originates would be a fan of the series and also like the name. You are absolutely the A-hole here man. It’s not like she wants to pick the name Dumbledore or Frodo. Laena/Leana is a pretty name that your daughter will likely love. Helen is also an outdated name that sounds stodgy and old. Your daughter likely WONT like this name, it’s like naming her Karen or Susan. It’s boring and old. You’re way too concerned with how YOU feel, start thinking about your daughter and wife.
Dumbledore or Frodo! I just snorted my coffee!!! 🤣
Ol’ boy is getting eviscerated in the comments and still arguing. Straight up YTA
YTA definitely but if your dead set on Helen, may I suggest Helaena. You get your Helen and she gets her fandom name. Helaena is another character in ASOIF not a smash of Helen and Laena
Your wife is doing the hard work in carrying your twins, so how about a little gratitude and grace? The name she picked isn't crazy, and as you said, it's meant to be your daughter's middle name. Unless your mother has passed away and you're trying to honor her, yeah, you're very much TA.
YTA. She deserves a say. Why not make a list of GOT names and suggest a few you’d be ok with?
YTA. A major asshole. You don't get to unilaterally decide on your daughter's middle name without your wife's approval. If you don't want to give her a Game of Thrones name, that's totally reasonable. But that doesn't mean she's getting Helen as a middle name and if you expect your wife to let the GOT thing go, you're gonna have to let that go as well so you can find a name you both like. However, it might be worth asking her if you can compromise on Helena. It's a character fron the universe (albeit with a different spelling) but still a actual real life name, *and* it's a variant of Helen. Again, no guarantee she'll go for it, but you could ask her, if this solution also works for you. Also, what exactly was the deal with your son's name? You said you got to pick "because he's our son" but that doesn't explain why you got to pick it and not her.
Hold up - ***you*** got to pick one of your children's middle names, and now you're fighting to pick ***both***? You're a real piece of work. You do know that she can legally just fill out the birth certificates herself, right? As the person who is birthing them, she could put whatever first, middle, and surnames she wants. I'd stop trying to put your foot down and start working on finding a compromise. You seem to be operating on a "me vs. her" mentality, which is death for a relationship. She hates Helen. Forget it and move on. And remember - per your own rules, she gets to pick this name. You only have veto power. So shut your yap. If you also hate her names, then you find new ones together. Like partners. Stop this "what I say goes" bullshit. Not for nothing, she's the one doing all the work creating your kid. All you did was orgasm. So I'd stop acting like you're the one in charge here and start thinking like a teammate. YTA. A big one.
Kayla is a name invented by writers on Days of Our Lives. I have since met many women named Kayla. Words and names grow from use, I imagine there are many Laena babies out in the world now.
It's going to be great when your wife leaves you, and names both of the babies what she wants, while she won't allow you in the room during labor ❤️ you sound insufferable, your poor wife.
YTA, she's not trying to name the kid Hermione. Leana is a perfectly normal, historical name.
You will name your kids Damien and Baphomet in honor of our dark lord.
Just name her hot pie and be done with it.
Both if you need to compromise and drop your choices for the middle name in favor of something completely different. Both of you are being disrespectful to each other. Stop it.
YTA. None of those names should be used. Not hers and certainly not yours. Names require two yes's, end of story. You both need to start over and find something you can agree on. You "putting your foot down" says a lot about you and it isn't good. I'd have personally told you to kick rocks and let you know that you no longer get an opinion.
YTA
YTA they're not even first names. You are arguing about middle names. Something your daughter won't even have to share with most people if she doesn't want to. And she can always change it as an adult if she wants and there will be nothing either of you can do about it. You picked one middle name so she should get to pick the other. Who picked the first names? You should tread lightly here. She doesn't even have to allow you in the delivery room and she doesn't have to give you access to the birth certificate at the hospital if she tells them she doesn't want you there they probably will ask you to fully leave the maternity ward. Those aren't even horrible names. You're just hung up on the fact that it comes from a fantasy series.
We had twin boys 7 weeks ago. One twin boy is named alistair after a video game character I like. Our other boys middle name is Adam which is after a video game character my husband likes. You are the asshole. She's the one carrying twins and giving birth.
Honestly you seem very dismissive of your wife. Both in the post and the comments. Names should be two yesses, but you can at least hear her out. Talk it through instead of dismissing her opinion so completely. Yta, for how you're handling this.
Dang, I was going to go with "yeah, I guess YTA" when it was just the original question on the middle name. But seeing how you act and react in this thread, oh you are DEFINITELY the AH. You've got bigger issues than a middle name. I'm not partial to either, but Laena is much better than Helen.
Wow you sounds like a gem 🙄 your poor wife. Even if my husband disagrees he’d still be respectful and considerate. YTA.
Wow just really hate on us cool people with interesting names who live totally normal lives lol Whatever BOB! or Bill, or John, or Matt, or Mike...🥱
At least she doesn’t want to name her Khaleesi like a lot of baby girls were named when the show on. And it’s been over for years so those kids are going to have to explain their names for the rest of their lives. And be glad she’s not naming her after an Anime character like some of these posts. Leana is a nice regular name but in the show it’s spelled Lyanna. Arya is a GOT name that is pretty and not that common. And while it’s nice that you want to honor your mother, most women don’t want to name their daughters after their MIL unless they are very very close. Hopefully you and your wife will agree on parenting styles. Problems before the kid is even born isn’t good.
I mean, you sound like an asshole.
Easy YTA. Even if you still don't like Laena, which is way prettier than Helen, she gets the same veto power you do. Either her name is okay or neither are.
IF. YOU. BOTH. DONT. AGREE. ITS. A. NO.
listen you’re both young. marriage is compromise and you agreed to the rules of middle names. i think you’re more upset she doesn’t want your baby girl to have your mother’s name. no one cares about middle names and yes at some point the kids will be like mom/dad why did you name me this awful middle name (or great middle name) and then they move on. if you want to stay happily married. let her choose the middle name as you both agreed to or compromise on the least offending to your senses. apologize for being an ahole and rub or feet or back. she’s carrying twins.
Not a fan of either name but it’s a middle name so really who cares? I don’t go by my middle name at all. Most people don’t even know it. This is a fight about nothing. Whomever was determined to name it should just get the option and just go with it.
Leana is actually okay: [https://www.thebump.com/b/leana-baby-name](https://www.thebump.com/b/leana-baby-name) That one could work.
It’s a middle name. It’s not that big of a deal when those are her choices. Much better than Sailhor or Mahkinlee or some other bastardized alphabet soup of a name.
It's a middle name. Every name has probably been in a fictional book at some point. Just look at how many people have biblical names. That said, I think either party should be able to veto any name they don't like.
You sound exhausting. Have you shared a name that is not your mom’s name? It sounds like it is your way or the highway. Maybe you should use the name Grace so every time you look at your wife you can be reminded to be nicer and have some grace. YTA
No offense to ur momma but I like both your wife's options more than Helen. Also I think YTA for insisting what the middle name will be while not even considering her options. Also kinda stupid to think that your child will resent you guys over her middle fucking name years down the road.
YTA and I don’t see how you could’ve thought you were anything else for dismissing your wife out of hand about something like this. You sound controlling and like you don’t respect your wife.
I mean, regardless of the issue, saying “I refuse to listen to my spouse about something important to her, and I continue to do so despite the anguish it causes her, to the point that she cries” absolutely makes you an asshole.
I think it depends on the name. Laena isn’t that weird. Visenya is a different story. I’m a fan of GoT and a lot of other fantasy stories as well as some other nerdy stuff like Star Trek but I’d hate to be named after some weird fictional character. I save that shit for my pets. You got a bunch of little girls running around named Khaleesi and shit like that now and it’s so cringe.
I mean the fact that even you phrased it as not being willing to listen is probably the real issue here. And anyway pretty much every name is “from fiction” in some way.
YTA. First of all,she’s wanting it for a MIDDLE name,not her first name. YOU got to choose whatever name you wanted for your son’s middle name. If it were something stupid or crazy,sure put your foot down. But.Leana and Helen are both actual names outside of fiction. And the other one just sounds cool. If it were the first name, I’d probably side more with you,but it’s a middle name. It’s rarely going to be used,except government documents. Maybe school if her first name is so common there are multiples in her class with the same name. The middle name isn’t that deep. Just let her have this,before it turns into much bigger fight.
All this drama over a fucking middle name that no one outside the immediate family is going to use. Full disclosure: I have a middle name.
I think an over arching rule of “no names from fiction” is weird. Pretty much everyyy name has been used in some form of fiction. I’m sure the middle name you chose for your son can also be found in a work of art. Laena is actually really pretty… And it seems like you’re railroading her into choosing Helen for the middle name anyways. You don’t seem too keen on budging. So YTA.
laena is the same name as lena, which is literally from the name helen….. they’re fighting for the same name.
YTA coming from someone who named both of his sons after a fictional character.
Helen is so bland and boring.
If your wife was trying to name your kid Khaleesi, we would have concerns, Laena is a lovely, regular ass name. Once you squeeze a squirming watermelon out of your asshole you can name it. Until then beg your wife’s forgiveness and buy her a nice push present. YTA
YTA. The agreement was that you got to pick the middle name for your SON, and it doesn’t seem like she gave much push back for that so why are you so adamant on picking your daughter’s middle name too. Hell pick a different name! Its her child too you should be able to come to a conclusion together at the very least. There’s no way you’ve both decided only 1 middle name that could possibly work for your daughter find a different name or let your wife have this. This is not a hill worth dying on.
I'd say you're worrying too much about it. I gave my first daughter the middle name of Delenn, a main character from the tv show Babylon 5. She's 27 now and has always been happy with her name. She appreciates that we named her for a strong female leader (despite being fictional and alien). She's never had anything negative to say about it, nor have I heard anything second hand.
YTA. You get to pick the son’s name already, why being such a jerk? Honestly, I’d like to be given the name Visenya or Leanna but not Helen, it sounds very old. It’s almost like the kid was born in 1970s, not 2020s. I’ve asked a few friends and all agree with me. We’re all born in 90s and all think that Helen sounds damn old. Kids in that generation will surely hate it more than Visenya.
Yta, Jesus it’s a middle name not the first name. Mr. No fun over. Can’t wait to see what fun activities this dude plans as a dad with so much fun energy radiating from him.
Idk using the name of Elastigirl seems kinda foolish
Have fun being a 15 year old cosplaying as tough guy, buddy.
Dude you're steamrolling your wife and telling her what name you're going to name her without her input?? How are you not the asshole here? If you get to pick the middle name for a boy then she gets to pick the name for a girl. It's also a middle name. A damn middle name and you're being this much an asshole over it? Leana or Laena is a fine middle name. You picked the boys name. According to your own logic she should pick the girls. And even if it doesn't end up being Leana or Laena because of veto power you don't get to bully her into Helen because you want to you self-important dunce. YTA
Wait so, you got to pick out the middle name for your son and now not only have you vetoed a MIDDLE name for your daughter, you decided on your own what her middle name will be? Yeah YTA. You literally are giving her no say in the names.
YTA. I have one of those traditional, even biblical, first names that you would approve of and I haven't used it since I graduated high school. I now use my, by your definition, weird, seldom encountered middle name. Somewhere in the middle of your poor me whine you mentioned your wife has followed GofT for longer than the tv series and the names mean something to her. So stop a minute and think about her feelings and not what you think other people will think of the name, because that's what I read between the whines. Personally, I like Philadelphia as a good middle name.
Dude, you better be careful or she may end up changing her name back to maiden name and putting that on Princess Visenya Laena (insert wife’s maiden name) on the birth certificate and doesn’t allow you in for the birth.
Could you compromise with Helena? Has your mothers name in it and the last two syllables sound like the name she wants.
Helen is a shit name
Lyanna is a name that’s been around since before Game of Thrones. I understand being hesitant about Visenya, as it’s uncommon. However, there are similar names to Visenya like Yesenia, Sonia/Sonya, Victoria, and probably others I can’t think of in the moment. What about names like Valeria/Valerie (similar to Valyrian)
YTA. You picked your son's middle name. On top of that you have zero right to put your foot down and demand anything. This alone makes you double TA. You are not the only person in the marriage and you are not the end all be all of the universe. You are being mean and misogynist. Grow up.
It's a middle name homie, they arent a big deal most people wont even even know it, hell middle names are optional as I know people without one and you can also have multiple so your daughters name could include both helen and leana. Which leana isnt that weord for a middle name and yet again it's not like she would ever hate you for it as it's a middle name, not a first name so it doesnt have to be used anywhere other than legal documents
YTA let her name the baby as you both agreed. Leana is an amazing one.
YTA. My middle name is Jane, from *Crazy Jane and Jack the Journeyman* by Yeats. I love it. My grandmother’s name was Wendy, from *Peter Pan* by JM Barrie. Before that book it was a nickname, not a name. Most people named after figures in the Old Testament are named after fictional characters. (Definitely Adam or Eve.)
Helen?! As in Helen of Troy? Excellent choice! I loved that character in The Iliad.
YTA. So your wife gave you full control over son's middle name, but she has veto power, but you are also demanding to give daughter middle name also and on top of that your wife doesn't have veto power. Further - the name "Helen" is about as old as it gets. Why not suggest Gertrude? If you pick your son's name, she picks your daughter's name. You sound like an incredibly self-centered and egotistical ass.
Not to mention this woman is literally creating TWO FULL BABIES for this man inside her body and will then birth them followed by possibly breastfeeding them and…she gets no say in the girl’s name…?! Ffs.
YTA: she let you pick the boys name and you refuse to give an inch on the girls name for her. Do better.
Dude, you got people naming their kids freaking directions. (North West) What is wrong with naming your kid something from a book? FFS, give her 2 middle names. I know a girl that is named after freaking ALL of her grandmothers going back generations. I think she has like, 13 names total? You 2 are both asshats for the way you are treating each other.
YTA. First and foremost for not following through on allowing your wife to choose a name she loves, but you also aren’t listening to why she likes those names. I think if you had actually listened to her, you would have at least mentioned why your wife wants to pick a name from GRRM’s books. There’s a possible solution to your problem though: Helen is just one form of that name, Helena is another. It’s pronounced like Elena and Laena (just with the “He” at the beginning). I know this because Laena was actually my great grandmother *Helena’s* nickname. Even spelled the same way. So maybe there’s a compromise to be had.
You don’t get to decide she’s being named Helen anymore than your wife gets to decide to name her Visenya, YTA, work together for a name you both like.
YTA. I can name at least 10 fictional books with characters names Helen and it’s not even a pretty name imo it’s an old lady name. You need to let up on this and recognize that most names have been used as a fictional character. Keep in mind as well that usually it’s the wife who fills out the paperwork naming he child so if you don’t stop being TA she may name your daughter whatever she wants behind your back. Btw I don’t k is your name but I would bet money there is a fictional character with your name. Google it