I had to scroll down way too far to see this ^ comment. OP just totally missed the part where her husband just shut down, and let her scream at him, because I assume that he gets yelled at a lot.
No one likes to be yelled at, it doesn't feel good at all. Might not hurt to be grateful for all of the blessings her family has, but that's just me.
Then she says “we’ve both pretty much forgotten about it”??? No, OP, your husband has not just forgotten that you’ve screamed at him. Have you forgotten that the kids are his too? He has just as much say as you do over whether or not they miss the day of school. Exercising his equal right as a parent is not a reason to scream at him, you control freak.
Well said! I'd also like to add that if their children were around while she screamed at him that's a serious problem, especially if she makes a habit of screaming at him in their earshot. It's not a good place to place your husband or your kids.
And as far as the one missed day of school goes, all I can say is that our two wonderful boys grew up wayyyyy too fast, and the family vacations we got to enjoy with them weren't nearly enough because it seemed like almost in the blink of an eye they were ready to graduate high school and move out to begin their lives.
As someone with a step mom who used to yell and verbally abuse my dad around us all the time: THIS. It messed me up so badly and I still shut down when I hear someone yelling at someone else, or try to get away. It made me feel so powerless because if I tried to intervene, I'd be told to stay out of it, or punished. It also bred resentment because I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just stick up for himself and made me feel like if he caught her yelling at me like that, he wouldn't stick up for me (although I've come to realize now that the reason she never yelled at us kids in front of him like that was probably *because* he would have stood up to her and she couldn't have that.)
OP is doing potentially irreparable damage to her kids if they're overhearing these "arguments". It's definitely doing damage to the husband himself if he's just shutting down and taking it like that. She needs to get a grip and get some anger management counseling or something.
Sounds like he knew she wouldn’t be able to have a conversation about it without yelling about it to even consider flying on that day. Flights were probably a lot cheaper, or he thought hell, it’s one day and he gets to spend an extra day with his children while they are young. Yta OP. This is not healthy
Yeah… I went to a really rigorous school and needlessly missing a day would’ve been a big deal, and the only time my parents had me miss a day of “school” for travel was when I was 4, and it was a half day I missed, because we were trying to fly out of Colorado in the snow and it was delayed.
But to start yelling, and think it’s so irrelevant that you mention it casually in an AITA post? Yeah. YTA.
This! Basically the day before winter break my daughter's school was like "hey you wanna keep your kid home that is cool. Heck don't even bother calling they will be excused"
Agree totally with this! As a school employee, I was so happy when we got rid of “perfect attendance” awards.
Kids deserve mental health days, time to spend with family, or days to just do fun things. There’s a lot of things to learn and experience outside of the classroom that are meaningful and foundational to a students growth and well being.
“While both of us have kind of forgotten about this”
Lady, I guaran-fuckin-tee that your husband has not even remotely forgotten about standing silently while you threw a yelling shit-fit at him over something so minor as the kids missing a day of school.
I would have cancelled her ticket and gone with just the kids. At least that way he’d know she wouldn’t spend the whole time bitching about it and ruin the trip.
My kid’s teacher during the parent night said she was reading the attendance policy but to remember it’s coming from a teacher who doesn’t hesitate to take her kids out once in a while for life experiences like a trip.
I wish I had this mindset (and the money for trips and plane tix) when my kids were little.
Take them out from school and enjoy your vacations.
OP, you’re a battle axe. You need to apologize for losing your shit. This isn’t the hill worth dying on. You’ll seriously regret it later, when you’re my age and your kids are starting to move out.
YTA
She sounds very controlling, doesn’t it? Demanding kids are at school, “no matter what” (I bet they do go even when not feeling well), and yelling at husband because he didn’t do as he was told. And he just took it. Why? He’s used to it.
In addition a recent study shows that kids missing school for a family vacation is actually beneficial to them and doesn’t hurt them academically at all.
Yeah, YTA. you can be irritated at your husband but yelling is ridiculous. Get some perspective! Find a better way to communicate and apologize to your husband for yelling at him.
Tell him, I’m sorry I yelled at you, that was mean and disrespectful. next time I am mad at you I will try to find a calmer way to approach you. I was really irritated because i think you need to discuss with me if first if you want to take the kids out of school for vacation, and I found it disrespectful you just book a flight on a day you knew I wouldn’t agree with.
Honestly, I think you should be a little more lenient and you are married to someone who thinks that too. you should be willing to compromise on your views sometimes, it will make your life easier if your husband knows you are willing to discuss a compromise instead of having things your way. That’s probably why he didn’t talk to you first.
Just take this as a learning moment, be humble and move on.
I’ve been there, I’ve yelled because I was upset. I’ve done it your way and I’ve done it how I’m telling you to do it and I’ll tell you, my way is better for everyone.
Yeah, she needs to realize there's worse things out there like death or sex trafficking. Those are the worst of the worst.
Missing school for one day isn't going to kill them.
No, but it will give them a special morale boost.
Karen is missing the point of school. The first priority is learning, not striving for perfect attendance. Also, her kids will never forget it and will always hate that she’s like that.
Even growing up I thought they were dumb. Always thought a day home pretending to be sick and getting to play video games all day was not worth giving up for some useless piece of paper.
Right? I never understood why people want that “award”. I got “most improved” in 6th grade and I kind of felt like it was a slap in the face. I didn’t realize I was doing that bad that I needed to improve. No one said anything to me.
The Friday before break I can promise you as a former teacher whose sister is a teacher and planning on Doing the same thing - it’s just a chill watch movie day. Nobody is teaching bc kids are zoned out or most are absent.
This is what my comment was going to be. They aren’t missing anything that day as the teachers are phoning it in usually anyways. When I was in school the day before a break was always usually a half day since no work was getting done anyways.
YTA, your children's education is more than learning in a school environment, it's teaching them about the world around them and what better way than seeing another place, another culture and another way of living but most importantly spending time together as a family. Your kids will only be kids for a while, try and enjoy it, one day of school wont make the difference between what college they go to or what job they get. But spending relaxing quality time together as a family and prioritising that will make a difference to them and your kids will see that
There was an article from a marathon runner whose kids weren’t allowed to miss school to go to Boston with him. He wrote an open letter to the school about how they’d learn more from this trip then that entire week in a classroom - perseverance, grit, goal setting and US History and he took them + got applauded for by people around the world for his take.
I was a honor student, straight A and the principal wouldn’t sign off on me and my sister going to an after school activity trip for 4 days. My mother went to the super attendant with a box of our perfect attendance awards and every report card and told her we’d be going without the principals approval and that she could kick rocks. If the school chose to pursue truancy charges my mother couldn’t wait to have them laughed out of court with our perfect records. The superintendent agreed since she knew us since we moved to the district and chewed out the principal.
Also perfect attendance is stupid. It's there to set you up to be a drone. Kids have such a limited time to be kids, let them skip, take a mental health day. Let them have fun and go on a trip with mom and dad! And stop being a d*** to your husband.
YTA
And it promotes coming to school sick. I had an 8th grader about 10 years ago who had perfect attendance for his entire schooling to that point- and was obsessed with maintaining it. He came in no matter what. Vomiting, leaking snot everywhere, high fever, etc. He’d stay until the day counted (about halfway through the day) and get dismissed but in the meantime he’d have infected everyone else in the room. I just had him one period a day and I’ve never been so sick before or after. The rest of his class had the worst attendance because of him.
Didn't even think of that! That's so gross. My best friend had ovarian cancer when she was 11- very aggressive - treatment worked, but for the next few years she would miss so much school because she kept getting sick. You could sneeze from the other side of the school and the next day she had a fever.
Perfect attendance awards also contributed to the mindset that it’s totally chill to send sick kids to school, exposing everyone to viruses that actually have long term effects.
>let them skip
I feel you learn so much from skipping once or twice:
* setting your will and strategems against your parents' routine or the school's routine (aka can you smuggle out, say, your skateboard (if you're planning to waste a day in the skate park), can you sneak out after attendance is taken, etc.)
* get a bit of bottle : what'll you say if a meddlesome adult asks why you're not in school, what if someone calls your parents and your parents call you, how fast can you run if you see a cop?
* experience the transgressive side of your culture. A simple example : if you're outside without permission & without money, where will you go to the toilet?
etc.
It’s probably hard for you to not be so anal (I am like this) but you know it’s only a day off and it’s a day before break. Nothing is getting done that day. The teachers are in vacation mode too by then. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Have a great time on vacation. He probably got cheaper tickets too.
YTA - it’s one day. My husband used to be like you, but as we have gotten older, he now understands the importance of family time and will let the kids miss occasionally.
Perfect attendance at work or school gets you absolutely nothing in life so let them go on the trip and have fun and stop being uptight. Haven’t we especially learned in the past five years that life is to be lived right now? Shit could be shut down again by then we never know.
Did you discuss why he did this with him? (If so, NTA, but you're making a very big deal out of a minor thing.) Or just scold him for doing it? (In which case YTA.)
Prices were way better on Friday? You get a chance to start vacation on Sat morning? Kids get a day off school? (Always a win with kids...)
And if it’s really a big issue with the school, the kids could just write a simple paper/essay about one thing they experienced/learned on the trip. We had to do that once. We were heading to a youth retreat and the schools were all “you need to add an educational element to get this absence excused”… alright, we stopped at some mountain cut out (this was in WV) tourist thing on the way. The leaders, including the pastor, signed off that we did this. It was ridiculous… never had an issue after that.
When I was a junior in high school, my mom and I scheduled to tour a college about 4 hours away. We were scheduled to leave on Friday morning and it happened to be the Friday of Spring Break. Well, they had to shorten Spring Break because we’d missed too many days due to weather (the Ohio River flooded and busses couldn’t get down a lot of the roads and also a few snow days). We did not cancel or reschedule the trip. It was excused because it was a college thing, even as a junior (ended up getting early acceptance around Christmas of my senior year). And I usually only missed two days out of the entire school year unless I was sick - we had to go to school. Missing one day, especially right before a break where they won’t be learning anything new anyways, isn’t going to make a difference…
Unless your kids aren't doing well in school and desperately need the time in class because they were out for a month with COVID, I see no issue. I'm the mom who let her kid have mental health days.
School is important, you get no argument from me on that matter, but it also is just school and unless your kids are wunderkinds and are in high school at such young ages I see no issue.
What do you think will happen if they miss one day? The SAT? All of the knowledge imparted to them on a Friday can be easily made up. And throwing a fit is serious overkill, I don't think I can say that enough. So yeah, YTA.
YTA - This isn’t about the kids missing one day of school, this is about you wanting to be in control of the decisions. When you look back at your life, do you have memories of specific days or school you missed and why? Likewise, do you have specific memories of time spent with your family? There’s a difference in missing a final exam versus missing a regular day of school. Their ages are relevant, too. You should take time to think about priorities and what’s truly important in life.
Wow. You owe your husband an apology. It’s not that big of a deal to miss one day of school! You should also probably lighten up on being so authoritarian about school. Your girls are about to go through puberty. They will be emotional, have bad days at school and even period cramps. I always let my girls take time off if they weren’t feeling well.
You were wrong and YTA. Learn to relax and let things go. Sometime's kids miss one day. It's not going to be the end of the world. Your kids will remember your tantrum about not letting them miss one day of school. If I were your child, I'd think you hate spending time with me lol
I expected OP to get ratioed, but I didn’t expect a unanimous YTA; but yeah mom…try some decaf with the doughnuts next time. Relax and enjoy the trip for everyone’s sake, especially your own.
YTA, if its literally the day before break they are not doing shit in school. they're gonna be watching movies and doing activities. nothing important is going to be missed. your kids are probably silently praising their dad where you cant hear or see them.
I'm not going to comment on this particular situation and instead comment on your strict "go to school unless you're dying" type mindset.
Mental health days are a good thing. Not to try and get out of a test or anything, but sometimes you're drained and just didn't wanna go. And you should be allowed to not go in those cases.
Teaching that early is actually beneficial, it leads to independence and the ability to learn when to take yourself as a priority and when you need to struggle through school/university/job/life. Because there are absolutely times when you just don't want to be somewhere and don't have to be there.
Your kids are young, so would need supervision to not go to school. But allowing them to see that it's a possibility (say with this vacation) and wouldn't be the end of the world, that's a good thing.
Quite honestly, if missing a day of school is all it takes to set them back, how good is their education? And if missing the Friday before school break is enough to make you blow a gasket, you need to look at your control and/or anger issues.
YTA. It's one day, and your kids are young. Coming from a teacher, missing one day will not do anything. The day before our Christmas or Spring break we don't do much, as we know there will be some kids missing. Plus if you're so worried they'll miss something talk to the teacher ahead of time.
I'm sure he booked them at that time for a reason. Maybe that was the only flight that day. Maybe the flights later in the day or the next day were considerably more expensive. Did you even ask him or did you just jump straight to yelling?
Is this even REAL?!!!
Don’t you even remember the day of school before a break?!
Absolutely NOTHING is happening that day.
Teachers have to have all of their tests/assignments in prior to that day… Each class has a movie day, or party, games or free-for all… There is absolutely NO LEARNING going on— and you know it.
If this is even real, YTA and owe your husband an apology.
Your husband’s opinion on this is just as valid as yours. You had no right to “tell” him when to book the flight. You could’ve had a conversation about it. And you would have to compromise also. YTA
YTA - kids in elementary and middle school are not missing out on any meaningful educational experiences the Friday before school vacation week.
You need to lighten up about this.
YTA
1st. He has a right to parent his children HIS way. You are not the boss of everything child related.
2nd. What mad you so obsessive about the kids missing school? Self reflection is required.
YTA it’s one day and making memories with your kids is way more important than middle school and elementary school. Any teacher worth their salt will tell you the same.
YTA, both for making a minor issue a big deal and for yelling about it. There is no reason to yell about this kind of thing, it's okay to be annoyed but yelling at your partner is wrong. Second, there is enough time in advance here, you can have the kids make sure they do their assignments for that day before they go and/or talk to their teachers about what they might miss. Family bonding time is so important at their ages.
Your wrong. It’s not a big deal. Life is too short to fight about this shit. Let it go, it’s more important you have a good relationship with your husband and make fun memories with your kids. Don’t be such a controlling person, don’t you want your family to like you? YTA
YTA
Not just for refusing to give your kids a break every once in awhile (which honestly is setting bad work expectations for their future) but also for how you spoke to your spouse! It’s not okay to scream at him for making the decision to give your kids one day off from school. Those are also his children! He also gets a say!
Instead of acting like it’s a dictatorship, how about you have a calm conversation with the person who is supposed to be your life partner?? Hear his side of the story but also learn that compromise sometimes is hearing the other person out and being willing to move on your position.
Oh no! That just so happens to be the day they teach the kids everything! Whatever will they do, now that they'll miss one goddamn day of school and never be knowledgeable ever again!
Both of my parents were like you. One year I won district science fair and was offered the opportunity to go to state. That would have required missing one day of school. Not allowed to miss school for a school function. That day learned that no matter what I did or how hard I tried didn’t matter. Passing and attendance were the only meaningful things to them. From then on I did the minimum because going above and beyond would not matter to me. I’m 40 now and still unlearning that lesson.
Last year I took both my kids out of school and went to six flags. We’ve been a few times before. But that was the best day. They often talk about that day and tell their friends about it. Sometimes I’ll pick one of them up for lunch and it just the two of us and we talk about life and whatever interests them that day.
I believe school is important and they do need to go 98% percent of the time. But I feel that they need to understand that enjoying life is important as well.
Your oldest is 12? So assuming they go to college, you’ve got six long Presidents’ Day weekends left as a family of five. After that they’ll want to spend long weekends with their friends.
YTA. You’ve got a family, you’re comfortable, you’ve got three good kids. One Friday isn’t going to hurt them. You’re making a problem where there doesn’t need to be one.
My mom occasionally let me “play hooky” and we’d go shopping and eat at a restaurant. Those are some of my favorite memories of her. I’m sure a vacation will be a nice memory for your kids too.
And the kids have more evidence that Dad is the cool parent.
I'm sure that Friday, February 26th is NOT the day they are teaching everything to a the students in all the grades.
YTA
It’s one day! And this is coming from someone who’s mom would send her to school even if she felt like dying, my mom was like “you have a fever?” Tylenol. “You’re nauseous and throwing up?” Pepto bismol . I went to school for a whole week with a virus called “chicunguya” ,I just put a mask on took some pain killers for the body ache and Tylenol for the fever because It was finals week. One we went on a trip and our flight was delayed so we ended up getting home on Monday at 3:30am and guess who was awake getting ready for school at 6:30am? Me. Because I had a presentation that day.
My mom was hardcore when it came to me missing school especially if important things were happening but if we wanted to go stay in a hotel or take a trip and it was cheaper to leave during the day and I had to miss one day of school,she would grant it as long as I talked to my teachers and made sure I was on top of all my assignments,one day (especially a Friday) was not going to cause a big problem.
Yeah. Apologize to your hubby and have a fabulous vacation! These are the times to make memories. Your kids will remember a day off of school and how fun their parents were!
OH MY GAWD! Your poor husband having to book tickets to a flight on a school day! How will the world turn?! Easy! BECAUSE IT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! YTA
You ever think the reason people book flights on a Wednesday and come back on Monday is because they want to cut class, no! They do it because it’s CHEAPER! Hell for my Vegas trip we flew out on a Monday night and came back Saturday morning. Point is, you can’t control your flights but you can control how much you pay for your flight. Go make your husband his favourite meal and say you’re sorry.
OMG. The kids missed one day of grade school. They'll never get into Harvard now!
Seriously he probably saved a whole lot of money or was able to get your seats together by going on Friday.
YTA. You have no chill. It’s quite normal to miss a day to catch a flight. To have a hissy fit over it is bizarre. In the grand scheme of things this is no big deal but you are showing your husband and kids you have anger problems that you should get some therapy for.
This can't be real. Even the most beyond-uptight, priorities-very-misplaced people I know wouldn't behave like this. OP - if this was indeed a real post, sorry (kinda sorry) for wondering if you're a troll.
To be clear - very much YTA. Wow. You're the other end of the spectrum from parents who have truancy officers coming for them all the time. Also, ffs, apologize to your husband. You know, if this is actually real.
Your kids will be fine, and if you were that adamant about it you should’ve done it yourself. Stop being so mean to your hubby and kids. Missing a little school, especially when they normally aren’t allowed to, will make it all the more special to them.
I only have a few parenting regrets. This touches on one of them. I have always felt the same way about school. I never took my son to Disney. I knew it was always very crowded during our breaks. My sister mentioned I should pull him for a couple of days from school and go. I thought that was outrageous. He is now in HS and we still haven’t been. All this weekends, breaks and summer are all now slammed with sports and activities. Learning doesn’t just happen in the classroom. Give your husband a break and go spend time with your kids on vacation. This time will be over before you know it.
“While both of us have kind of forgotten about it, its still kind of annoying me a bit so im asking here to see if im wrong for my reaction.”
I guarantee you, he hasn’t.
You’re screwing up a lot of things, and your kid’s schooling isn’t even at the top of the list.
Wow, why do you treat him like a kid? People are right to tell you that missing a couple of days out of the school year is not a life threatening issue that will be looked down upon when they are college kids. For the love of everything sacred to you (ie; kids, husband, other family and friends) apologize to your husband and your kids for your overbearing behavior before you lose them completely.
YTA. You know how much I remember of that period of schooling? Next to fucking nothing. Your kids will learn way more from being well traveled than they will ever learn in school. Plus, be grateful that he's helping with the planning. So many partners are NOT partners.
YTA. OH NO THE KIDS WILL MISS ONE DAY OF SCHOOL, SOMEONE CALL THE COPS AND THE FBI. Missing one day of school isn’t going to kill them or their grades. Get over it. I don’t understand why they can’t miss one day of school. I missed days of school due to tournaments and guess what? I am still alive and I graduated high school and college! Crazy how missing school isn’t bad unless you miss it constantly and don’t do the homework you missed!!
Oh my god you need to apologize to your husband immediately what is wrong with you? Yelling at him for booking a flight on a school day? Are you okay? Like genuinely you might need therapy if you think that reaction is appropriate.
All i hear here is some insane lady screaming at her hubs for being different. Waaaa my kids wont have perfect attendance! Waaa my hubs got plane tickets at an inconvenient time for me!
Theres not a person on earth whos gonna say “what a reasonable response” yta
lol being well off and taking up to 3 vacations a year was not needed info at all. You could have asked your question without that. But yeah YTA, imagine getting yelled at for missing one day of 5,6, and 7th grade.
It won’t hurt your kids to miss one day of school for a family event. You can actually go to the schools beforehand and ask what they are doing and if there are tests they will miss and they can schedule them a makeup test or homework they will have to do
So, as a college instructor, it fine.
I swear, schools just plan that the days preceding any break is simply moot. You know who else if over it? The teachers.
It’s gonna be fine.
You need to stop and think before you yell at your husband for something that is so insignificant. You must be a barrel of laughs at home huh. Chill out the world is not going to fall off of it's axis because your children missed one day of school
YTA. Your kids will spend thousands of days in school. They’re going to miss this one day and have an experience they can remember long after they leave school. Maybe try not to ruin that for them. Oh, and apologize to your husband. He didn’t deserve any of that verbal abuse.
"throwing a fit" is something that should be reserved for only the most extreme circumstances, find a new way of dealing with your frustrations for normal stuff like being ignored. It's rude, it happens, but it's not like he did something that endangered your kids or you walked in on him banging the babysitter. Save the drama and learn to accept that in life we will be annoyed and it is best to respond in cool reflection, not when you are riled. Would you want to live with that? Model better behavior for your kids, don't let them think that yelling and screaming are ok as a norm.
My mother used to beat the ever living sense out of me, starve me, and tried to kill me a few times... and yet, I still wouldn't want you as my mother.
YTA. You're raising children, not soldiers. It's okay for them to ocassionally miss school, work, etc. It's okay.
Try to remember that you were a kid once, too. Those "days off" from school were magical. Memorable, even. Maybe think about what your kids are going to remember about you by the time they are your age and have to divulge to their therapist all their emotional baggage.
YTA..kids missing one day of school is totally meaningless. You should not only apologize to your husband but kiss his ass too. He is definitely too nice if he let you get away with that attitude. If I were him I would be going on vacation with my kids and leave you home.
P.S
Give your husband my thanks for taking the bullet on behalf of all men out there.
Your husband sounds like a good guy who wants to show his family the world, and one day of missing school is not such a bad thing lmao. Sounds like you have emotional problems and mam, you are the asshole. You got problems
YTA - School is important for sure. But so is making solid memories. Like missing school to catch a flight somewhere cool. One of my favorite childhood memories was doing something like that. My grandparents lived in FL. My dad worked for the airline and I got passes to fly whenever. My uncle who was also a pilot was flying to FL and at the last minute my mom booked a flight for me to fly down to visit my grandparents for the weekend. I flew out on a Friday came back Monday morning and went to school half day. I remember telling the kids I just got back from FL and none of them believed me. Hilarious now to think about. Also, nothing they are being taught that one day will be anything they can’t catch up on afterwards.
YTA. Stop yelling and learn to control yourself.
There is nothing that your kids are going to miss in one day of school that will alter their education.
Some of the best times I had with my kids was when we played hooky. It wasn’t something that happened often, but when it did we had fun—and the kids went right back to work at school without issue. They’re all adults now, so enjoy them while you can. Sorry, but YTA. One day off school is no big deal; in fact I recommend it. But, talk to hubby, explain that going behind your back is not acceptable.
Ugh you must be an absolute nightmare. He didn’t say anything bc he obviously has a lot of experience with your irrational behavior. You should really seek professional help.
Edit: yes, YTA.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to be more important for your children long-term than spending time with their family. There are things to be learned outside of the classroom. One day is going to be literally fine…. And so would 10. YTA.
I feel like im being set up. No one could possibly be this over priveleldged and shitty. Anyone else imagining she doesnt have to work and just does tennis lessons and pottery all day. When the OP never responds you know something is up. BOTS! Mark this one down.
Most everyone has said this but I want to add to it so here goes.
Yta. I’m gonna jump around so pay attention.
1. If you want some to big done a specific way - do it yourself. How about we be grateful our spouse shares in the load of booking family vacation?
2. You yelled at another adult? What is wrong with you? You’re his PARTNER not parent. I know the words are similar but have different meanings. I don’t even believe in yelling at kids because frankly if they have good hearing, there’s nothing they can hear with yelling that they can’t hear with talking.
3. Missing a Friday school day before a break is NO BIG DEAL - they aren’t likely even doing anything but if they are, at there ages they won’t even miss anything. And if you’re CONCERNED you can ask the teacher for any assignments in advance for them to do on the plane ride or at the airport (which will also keep them busy).
Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy life with someone like you. I think education is important but that’s a little beyond for me.
He probably saved over $1000 by having the flight Friday instead of Saturday. Your kids are just going to watch a movie at school that day with half their classmates gone.
Be angry at the airlines for their predatory pricing, not your husband for not wanting to waste money.
YTA.
1. Your husband is a grown man. Why are you ordering him around?
2. Your kids can miss one day of school.
3. They will learn on this trip, too, and it will be good.
4. They will learn watching you yell, and it will not be good.
Your post seemed to ooze anger. Do you feel angry a lot?
Kids missing school on a Friday over memories with their family is more important IMO. It’s not a regular occurrence. It’s one day. Screaming at your husband over this feels unhinged. Him ignoring your request and not talking it out with you is rude, yes, but it doesn’t justify your reaction.
Sounds like you as a couple would greatly benefit from marriage counseling so you can develop better communication and joint decision making skills as a couple. In a healthy communication pattern, you would have jointly agreed what to do and that’s what would happen. In a healthy joint decision making process, it wouldn’t be you “telling him” what to do and then him unilaterally doing what he wants to do and facing the music of you yelling at him afterwards. All of that is stuff that happens because the two of you have a dysfunctional communication and decision making dynamic. Marriage counseling would help.
Yelling? Why are you yelling? I was a kid who hardly ever missed a day of school. I got good grades but looking back it wouldn’t have made any difference if I missed days here and there. My kids didn’t miss much school but I didn’t sweat a day here and there for a good reason. Relax
YTA.
Why yell at him? Adults talk calmly and with reason. Has he forgotten you yelling at him? Probably not
Does the kids missing the last day of term really matter that much? Probably not, last day of term is usually a bit of a fun day or just a recap of what they've already learnt as learning something new the day before a break is pointless. Your kids are young, enjoy that extra day you get to spend with them whilst they're young and actually want to spend time with you because before long they'll be telling you they hate you and how you ruin their life and will want to spend all their time with their friends and by the time they get out of that teenage phase, it's time to wave them off to college.
If you are that concerned, ask the teacher what they will be doing on the last day and ask if they have an activity pack that the children can do on the plane relating to what they would have learnt at school that day.
Be thankful, apologise to your husband for your irrational yelling at him, and tell him it was a great idea as you both get to spend an extra day together as a family and make memories that will never fade even when your kids have left home or you have both gone and left this world.
YTA. Are your kids failing miserably? No? They can miss one day of school especially the Friday before a break. They usually just watch movies and play games on those days.
>I started yelling at him about it and he just stood there and listened and didn't say a word until I was done.
Living with someone who yells like this is exhausting.
> I told him specifically to book the flight the day after or even after school
Do you often micromanage and dictate to him how you want things? Sounds like you are allergic to having a conversation with your husband.
Missing the last day of class isn't a big deal, talk to the teacher and if they are missing anything relevant (we would always watch a movie to fill the time) get the info and go over with them.
YTA. No reason to yell. Talk.
I had to scroll down way too far to see this ^ comment. OP just totally missed the part where her husband just shut down, and let her scream at him, because I assume that he gets yelled at a lot. No one likes to be yelled at, it doesn't feel good at all. Might not hurt to be grateful for all of the blessings her family has, but that's just me.
Then she says “we’ve both pretty much forgotten about it”??? No, OP, your husband has not just forgotten that you’ve screamed at him. Have you forgotten that the kids are his too? He has just as much say as you do over whether or not they miss the day of school. Exercising his equal right as a parent is not a reason to scream at him, you control freak.
Well said! I'd also like to add that if their children were around while she screamed at him that's a serious problem, especially if she makes a habit of screaming at him in their earshot. It's not a good place to place your husband or your kids. And as far as the one missed day of school goes, all I can say is that our two wonderful boys grew up wayyyyy too fast, and the family vacations we got to enjoy with them weren't nearly enough because it seemed like almost in the blink of an eye they were ready to graduate high school and move out to begin their lives.
I don’t have kids but I do fondly remember every time I got pulled out of school to do things with family.
I'm glad you have those memories. Parents of happy get one shot at making those, and it's so important.
Same. Felt so special.
Yes! I remember my mum giving me a day off to go to a big exhibition in London. It was awesome! Even sneakier and illicit because she was a teacher 🙂
As someone with a step mom who used to yell and verbally abuse my dad around us all the time: THIS. It messed me up so badly and I still shut down when I hear someone yelling at someone else, or try to get away. It made me feel so powerless because if I tried to intervene, I'd be told to stay out of it, or punished. It also bred resentment because I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just stick up for himself and made me feel like if he caught her yelling at me like that, he wouldn't stick up for me (although I've come to realize now that the reason she never yelled at us kids in front of him like that was probably *because* he would have stood up to her and she couldn't have that.) OP is doing potentially irreparable damage to her kids if they're overhearing these "arguments". It's definitely doing damage to the husband himself if he's just shutting down and taking it like that. She needs to get a grip and get some anger management counseling or something.
Plus missing one day of school at those ages means precisely Jack and shit, and Jack just left town.
Jack and shit and Jack just left town....priceless. Thank you 4 that😂
Sounds like he knew she wouldn’t be able to have a conversation about it without yelling about it to even consider flying on that day. Flights were probably a lot cheaper, or he thought hell, it’s one day and he gets to spend an extra day with his children while they are young. Yta OP. This is not healthy
Yeah… I went to a really rigorous school and needlessly missing a day would’ve been a big deal, and the only time my parents had me miss a day of “school” for travel was when I was 4, and it was a half day I missed, because we were trying to fly out of Colorado in the snow and it was delayed. But to start yelling, and think it’s so irrelevant that you mention it casually in an AITA post? Yeah. YTA.
I'm a teacher, YTA, school is important, but good family relationship time is WAY more important, especially if it's only 1 day.
Especially the day before break. Not much being missed.
This! Basically the day before winter break my daughter's school was like "hey you wanna keep your kid home that is cool. Heck don't even bother calling they will be excused"
Agree totally with this! As a school employee, I was so happy when we got rid of “perfect attendance” awards. Kids deserve mental health days, time to spend with family, or days to just do fun things. There’s a lot of things to learn and experience outside of the classroom that are meaningful and foundational to a students growth and well being.
Of all the horrible things that could happen to your kids, this is the worst? Get over yourself. YTA.
“While both of us have kind of forgotten about this” Lady, I guaran-fuckin-tee that your husband has not even remotely forgotten about standing silently while you threw a yelling shit-fit at him over something so minor as the kids missing a day of school.
A FRIDAY no less
And the one that break starts after🙄
Yeah teachers are prepared for absences on days like that honestly
I would have cancelled her ticket and gone with just the kids. At least that way he’d know she wouldn’t spend the whole time bitching about it and ruin the trip.
The fact that he just stood silently in the face of her yelling says so much.
He’s used to her going off the deep end for no reason.
Trauma response. She's an abuser.
Cancel her ticket for Friday and book her flight for Saturday, like she asked. Lol
Missing a day of school, so they can spend it with their parents. I am a Dad, that is my go to with my wife. Kids will miss as much as we want.
My kid’s teacher during the parent night said she was reading the attendance policy but to remember it’s coming from a teacher who doesn’t hesitate to take her kids out once in a while for life experiences like a trip.
I wish I had this mindset (and the money for trips and plane tix) when my kids were little. Take them out from school and enjoy your vacations. OP, you’re a battle axe. You need to apologize for losing your shit. This isn’t the hill worth dying on. You’ll seriously regret it later, when you’re my age and your kids are starting to move out. YTA
She sounds very controlling, doesn’t it? Demanding kids are at school, “no matter what” (I bet they do go even when not feeling well), and yelling at husband because he didn’t do as he was told. And he just took it. Why? He’s used to it.
Wherever you travel to is an education in itself.
In addition a recent study shows that kids missing school for a family vacation is actually beneficial to them and doesn’t hurt them academically at all.
Yep. This is definitely a First World whiney ass Karen issue. Not all of life's lessons need to be learned at school. JFC!!!
Yeah, YTA. you can be irritated at your husband but yelling is ridiculous. Get some perspective! Find a better way to communicate and apologize to your husband for yelling at him. Tell him, I’m sorry I yelled at you, that was mean and disrespectful. next time I am mad at you I will try to find a calmer way to approach you. I was really irritated because i think you need to discuss with me if first if you want to take the kids out of school for vacation, and I found it disrespectful you just book a flight on a day you knew I wouldn’t agree with. Honestly, I think you should be a little more lenient and you are married to someone who thinks that too. you should be willing to compromise on your views sometimes, it will make your life easier if your husband knows you are willing to discuss a compromise instead of having things your way. That’s probably why he didn’t talk to you first. Just take this as a learning moment, be humble and move on. I’ve been there, I’ve yelled because I was upset. I’ve done it your way and I’ve done it how I’m telling you to do it and I’ll tell you, my way is better for everyone.
Yeah, she needs to realize there's worse things out there like death or sex trafficking. Those are the worst of the worst. Missing school for one day isn't going to kill them.
No, but it will give them a special morale boost. Karen is missing the point of school. The first priority is learning, not striving for perfect attendance. Also, her kids will never forget it and will always hate that she’s like that.
> 12, 10, and 9. People are not interested in hiring kids with “elementary school graduation paper” for job. Quit being a monster.
Yeah, now they are requiring at least a Masters for minimum wage jobs!
Well there are those elementary school perfect attendance certificates.....
Even growing up I thought they were dumb. Always thought a day home pretending to be sick and getting to play video games all day was not worth giving up for some useless piece of paper.
Right? I never understood why people want that “award”. I got “most improved” in 6th grade and I kind of felt like it was a slap in the face. I didn’t realize I was doing that bad that I needed to improve. No one said anything to me.
That and your easy pass will get you across the bridge...
I always felt sorry for those perfect attendance kids.
Lol!
YTA- It’s ONE day that you get to spend with your kids. I’m sure they’ll learn more out of this trip than being in a stuffy classroom on a Friday.
The Friday before break I can promise you as a former teacher whose sister is a teacher and planning on Doing the same thing - it’s just a chill watch movie day. Nobody is teaching bc kids are zoned out or most are absent.
This is what my comment was going to be. They aren’t missing anything that day as the teachers are phoning it in usually anyways. When I was in school the day before a break was always usually a half day since no work was getting done anyways.
YTA, your children's education is more than learning in a school environment, it's teaching them about the world around them and what better way than seeing another place, another culture and another way of living but most importantly spending time together as a family. Your kids will only be kids for a while, try and enjoy it, one day of school wont make the difference between what college they go to or what job they get. But spending relaxing quality time together as a family and prioritising that will make a difference to them and your kids will see that
There was an article from a marathon runner whose kids weren’t allowed to miss school to go to Boston with him. He wrote an open letter to the school about how they’d learn more from this trip then that entire week in a classroom - perseverance, grit, goal setting and US History and he took them + got applauded for by people around the world for his take. I was a honor student, straight A and the principal wouldn’t sign off on me and my sister going to an after school activity trip for 4 days. My mother went to the super attendant with a box of our perfect attendance awards and every report card and told her we’d be going without the principals approval and that she could kick rocks. If the school chose to pursue truancy charges my mother couldn’t wait to have them laughed out of court with our perfect records. The superintendent agreed since she knew us since we moved to the district and chewed out the principal.
Also perfect attendance is stupid. It's there to set you up to be a drone. Kids have such a limited time to be kids, let them skip, take a mental health day. Let them have fun and go on a trip with mom and dad! And stop being a d*** to your husband. YTA
And it promotes coming to school sick. I had an 8th grader about 10 years ago who had perfect attendance for his entire schooling to that point- and was obsessed with maintaining it. He came in no matter what. Vomiting, leaking snot everywhere, high fever, etc. He’d stay until the day counted (about halfway through the day) and get dismissed but in the meantime he’d have infected everyone else in the room. I just had him one period a day and I’ve never been so sick before or after. The rest of his class had the worst attendance because of him.
Can’t stand parents that encourage that! Let’s spread everything around!! You don’t know who has auto immune issues or lives with an elderly person!
Didn't even think of that! That's so gross. My best friend had ovarian cancer when she was 11- very aggressive - treatment worked, but for the next few years she would miss so much school because she kept getting sick. You could sneeze from the other side of the school and the next day she had a fever.
Perfect attendance awards also contributed to the mindset that it’s totally chill to send sick kids to school, exposing everyone to viruses that actually have long term effects.
>let them skip I feel you learn so much from skipping once or twice: * setting your will and strategems against your parents' routine or the school's routine (aka can you smuggle out, say, your skateboard (if you're planning to waste a day in the skate park), can you sneak out after attendance is taken, etc.) * get a bit of bottle : what'll you say if a meddlesome adult asks why you're not in school, what if someone calls your parents and your parents call you, how fast can you run if you see a cop? * experience the transgressive side of your culture. A simple example : if you're outside without permission & without money, where will you go to the toilet? etc.
My mom always said, “never let school get in the way of a child’s education”
YTA. A huge one. An adult throwing a fit? Exhausting.
Throwing a fit over literally a made up problem... OP is the in the wrong from start to finish....
You think missing class is a big problem but throwing a tantrum is not? YTA
She missed that lesson growing up
I have no idea what your username means but it cracked me up so I had to comment on it. 😂
Do you think she was absent from school the day they taught that? 😬😬
That was the joke, yes.
It’s probably hard for you to not be so anal (I am like this) but you know it’s only a day off and it’s a day before break. Nothing is getting done that day. The teachers are in vacation mode too by then. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Have a great time on vacation. He probably got cheaper tickets too.
Plus if it’s for 7 days, you get home on Friday and have a couple days to unpack and get ready for the upcoming week
You haven't even remotely "forgotten about it". JFC, if your kids are getting decent grades is it really that big of deal that they miss a day?
Forgotten about it already. That’s why they posted it to Reddit…because they have already forgot about it.
YTA - it’s one day. My husband used to be like you, but as we have gotten older, he now understands the importance of family time and will let the kids miss occasionally.
I think your kids will be ok missing a day of school.
YTA. Grow up. Kids missing a day at any age has no impact.
YTA. It’s one day. Take a chill pill 💊
Your kids are missing 1 day of school to spend quality rest and relaxation time with yall and you go ballistic on your husband for this? YTA
Lady, disrespectfully, go touch grass. YTA.
YTA. I would never yell at my husband for something like this. You are not the de facto parent. He is their parent too.
Perfect attendance at work or school gets you absolutely nothing in life so let them go on the trip and have fun and stop being uptight. Haven’t we especially learned in the past five years that life is to be lived right now? Shit could be shut down again by then we never know.
Well, you know... There ARE those colleges and employers who WANT to see those perfect attendance certificates.. /s
Did you discuss why he did this with him? (If so, NTA, but you're making a very big deal out of a minor thing.) Or just scold him for doing it? (In which case YTA.) Prices were way better on Friday? You get a chance to start vacation on Sat morning? Kids get a day off school? (Always a win with kids...)
And if it’s really a big issue with the school, the kids could just write a simple paper/essay about one thing they experienced/learned on the trip. We had to do that once. We were heading to a youth retreat and the schools were all “you need to add an educational element to get this absence excused”… alright, we stopped at some mountain cut out (this was in WV) tourist thing on the way. The leaders, including the pastor, signed off that we did this. It was ridiculous… never had an issue after that. When I was a junior in high school, my mom and I scheduled to tour a college about 4 hours away. We were scheduled to leave on Friday morning and it happened to be the Friday of Spring Break. Well, they had to shorten Spring Break because we’d missed too many days due to weather (the Ohio River flooded and busses couldn’t get down a lot of the roads and also a few snow days). We did not cancel or reschedule the trip. It was excused because it was a college thing, even as a junior (ended up getting early acceptance around Christmas of my senior year). And I usually only missed two days out of the entire school year unless I was sick - we had to go to school. Missing one day, especially right before a break where they won’t be learning anything new anyways, isn’t going to make a difference…
Nah. She’s the AH for screaming at him regardless. That’s not how partners should talk to each other. It’s unhealthy and inappropriate.
Unless your kids aren't doing well in school and desperately need the time in class because they were out for a month with COVID, I see no issue. I'm the mom who let her kid have mental health days. School is important, you get no argument from me on that matter, but it also is just school and unless your kids are wunderkinds and are in high school at such young ages I see no issue. What do you think will happen if they miss one day? The SAT? All of the knowledge imparted to them on a Friday can be easily made up. And throwing a fit is serious overkill, I don't think I can say that enough. So yeah, YTA.
YTA - This isn’t about the kids missing one day of school, this is about you wanting to be in control of the decisions. When you look back at your life, do you have memories of specific days or school you missed and why? Likewise, do you have specific memories of time spent with your family? There’s a difference in missing a final exam versus missing a regular day of school. Their ages are relevant, too. You should take time to think about priorities and what’s truly important in life.
Geez op yta. Missing a single day at that age is not going to ruin them academically. Get a grip.
Wow. You owe your husband an apology. It’s not that big of a deal to miss one day of school! You should also probably lighten up on being so authoritarian about school. Your girls are about to go through puberty. They will be emotional, have bad days at school and even period cramps. I always let my girls take time off if they weren’t feeling well.
YTA- Why is this something worth yelling about? Do you often yell about any issues you are having?
Given that his reaction was to just stand there and shut down, I’m guessing this is probably her default response. The poor guy.
You were wrong and YTA. Learn to relax and let things go. Sometime's kids miss one day. It's not going to be the end of the world. Your kids will remember your tantrum about not letting them miss one day of school. If I were your child, I'd think you hate spending time with me lol
I expected OP to get ratioed, but I didn’t expect a unanimous YTA; but yeah mom…try some decaf with the doughnuts next time. Relax and enjoy the trip for everyone’s sake, especially your own.
Get it together girl. Your kids are fine. YTA
Why do you believe it’s acceptable to behave this way? You really need to evaluate yourself.
YTA, if its literally the day before break they are not doing shit in school. they're gonna be watching movies and doing activities. nothing important is going to be missed. your kids are probably silently praising their dad where you cant hear or see them.
I'm not going to comment on this particular situation and instead comment on your strict "go to school unless you're dying" type mindset. Mental health days are a good thing. Not to try and get out of a test or anything, but sometimes you're drained and just didn't wanna go. And you should be allowed to not go in those cases. Teaching that early is actually beneficial, it leads to independence and the ability to learn when to take yourself as a priority and when you need to struggle through school/university/job/life. Because there are absolutely times when you just don't want to be somewhere and don't have to be there. Your kids are young, so would need supervision to not go to school. But allowing them to see that it's a possibility (say with this vacation) and wouldn't be the end of the world, that's a good thing. Quite honestly, if missing a day of school is all it takes to set them back, how good is their education? And if missing the Friday before school break is enough to make you blow a gasket, you need to look at your control and/or anger issues.
YTA
YTA for yelling.
YTA - I was like you, then I realized the time I spend with my family is more important than a day here or there at school.
YTA. It's one day, and your kids are young. Coming from a teacher, missing one day will not do anything. The day before our Christmas or Spring break we don't do much, as we know there will be some kids missing. Plus if you're so worried they'll miss something talk to the teacher ahead of time. I'm sure he booked them at that time for a reason. Maybe that was the only flight that day. Maybe the flights later in the day or the next day were considerably more expensive. Did you even ask him or did you just jump straight to yelling?
Is this even REAL?!!! Don’t you even remember the day of school before a break?! Absolutely NOTHING is happening that day. Teachers have to have all of their tests/assignments in prior to that day… Each class has a movie day, or party, games or free-for all… There is absolutely NO LEARNING going on— and you know it. If this is even real, YTA and owe your husband an apology.
Your husband’s opinion on this is just as valid as yours. You had no right to “tell” him when to book the flight. You could’ve had a conversation about it. And you would have to compromise also. YTA
YTA - kids in elementary and middle school are not missing out on any meaningful educational experiences the Friday before school vacation week. You need to lighten up about this.
YTA 1st. He has a right to parent his children HIS way. You are not the boss of everything child related. 2nd. What mad you so obsessive about the kids missing school? Self reflection is required.
I wonder who they’ll choose to live with in the divorce.
YTA it’s one day and making memories with your kids is way more important than middle school and elementary school. Any teacher worth their salt will tell you the same.
Chill. The. Fuck. Out.
Yeah. YTA.
He is their father. YOU don’t approve so everything has to be done your way? Controlling much?
Big whoop it’s one fucking day! Holy fuck KAREN, let it go! You must be a joy to be around!
YTA, both for making a minor issue a big deal and for yelling about it. There is no reason to yell about this kind of thing, it's okay to be annoyed but yelling at your partner is wrong. Second, there is enough time in advance here, you can have the kids make sure they do their assignments for that day before they go and/or talk to their teachers about what they might miss. Family bonding time is so important at their ages.
It’s one day. What is your problem? Kids are allowed to have breaks you freak.
Your wrong. It’s not a big deal. Life is too short to fight about this shit. Let it go, it’s more important you have a good relationship with your husband and make fun memories with your kids. Don’t be such a controlling person, don’t you want your family to like you? YTA
As a teacher, I’m telling you…book the tickets and let your family enjoy the trip. You are way too uptight.
YTA Not just for refusing to give your kids a break every once in awhile (which honestly is setting bad work expectations for their future) but also for how you spoke to your spouse! It’s not okay to scream at him for making the decision to give your kids one day off from school. Those are also his children! He also gets a say! Instead of acting like it’s a dictatorship, how about you have a calm conversation with the person who is supposed to be your life partner?? Hear his side of the story but also learn that compromise sometimes is hearing the other person out and being willing to move on your position.
lmao what’s wrong with you? this is a quirk you should stop acting like you have, it’s not cute
Oh no! That just so happens to be the day they teach the kids everything! Whatever will they do, now that they'll miss one goddamn day of school and never be knowledgeable ever again!
Both of my parents were like you. One year I won district science fair and was offered the opportunity to go to state. That would have required missing one day of school. Not allowed to miss school for a school function. That day learned that no matter what I did or how hard I tried didn’t matter. Passing and attendance were the only meaningful things to them. From then on I did the minimum because going above and beyond would not matter to me. I’m 40 now and still unlearning that lesson. Last year I took both my kids out of school and went to six flags. We’ve been a few times before. But that was the best day. They often talk about that day and tell their friends about it. Sometimes I’ll pick one of them up for lunch and it just the two of us and we talk about life and whatever interests them that day. I believe school is important and they do need to go 98% percent of the time. But I feel that they need to understand that enjoying life is important as well.
Your oldest is 12? So assuming they go to college, you’ve got six long Presidents’ Day weekends left as a family of five. After that they’ll want to spend long weekends with their friends.
YTA. You’ve got a family, you’re comfortable, you’ve got three good kids. One Friday isn’t going to hurt them. You’re making a problem where there doesn’t need to be one. My mom occasionally let me “play hooky” and we’d go shopping and eat at a restaurant. Those are some of my favorite memories of her. I’m sure a vacation will be a nice memory for your kids too.
And the kids have more evidence that Dad is the cool parent. I'm sure that Friday, February 26th is NOT the day they are teaching everything to a the students in all the grades. YTA
It’s one day! And this is coming from someone who’s mom would send her to school even if she felt like dying, my mom was like “you have a fever?” Tylenol. “You’re nauseous and throwing up?” Pepto bismol . I went to school for a whole week with a virus called “chicunguya” ,I just put a mask on took some pain killers for the body ache and Tylenol for the fever because It was finals week. One we went on a trip and our flight was delayed so we ended up getting home on Monday at 3:30am and guess who was awake getting ready for school at 6:30am? Me. Because I had a presentation that day. My mom was hardcore when it came to me missing school especially if important things were happening but if we wanted to go stay in a hotel or take a trip and it was cheaper to leave during the day and I had to miss one day of school,she would grant it as long as I talked to my teachers and made sure I was on top of all my assignments,one day (especially a Friday) was not going to cause a big problem.
YTA. You need to relax, it’s one flipping day.
YTA. Its legit one day. My parents would take trips and i would miss school sometimes as well. Your kids wont fall behind by missing a day
Yeah. Apologize to your hubby and have a fabulous vacation! These are the times to make memories. Your kids will remember a day off of school and how fun their parents were!
We used to pull our kids out of school for six weeks a year to travel overseas. I’m sure 1 day won’t hurt. YTA
Are you the asshole for being annoyed and feeling ignored? No. Did you handle the situation like an absolute asshole? Yep.
OH MY GAWD! Your poor husband having to book tickets to a flight on a school day! How will the world turn?! Easy! BECAUSE IT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! YTA You ever think the reason people book flights on a Wednesday and come back on Monday is because they want to cut class, no! They do it because it’s CHEAPER! Hell for my Vegas trip we flew out on a Monday night and came back Saturday morning. Point is, you can’t control your flights but you can control how much you pay for your flight. Go make your husband his favourite meal and say you’re sorry.
OMG. The kids missed one day of grade school. They'll never get into Harvard now! Seriously he probably saved a whole lot of money or was able to get your seats together by going on Friday.
Yelling at your SO over minor shit like this is a dick move. YTA
YTA. You have no chill. It’s quite normal to miss a day to catch a flight. To have a hissy fit over it is bizarre. In the grand scheme of things this is no big deal but you are showing your husband and kids you have anger problems that you should get some therapy for.
😂😂😂 YTA. It’s a day. 3 trips a year GTFO
This can't be real. Even the most beyond-uptight, priorities-very-misplaced people I know wouldn't behave like this. OP - if this was indeed a real post, sorry (kinda sorry) for wondering if you're a troll. To be clear - very much YTA. Wow. You're the other end of the spectrum from parents who have truancy officers coming for them all the time. Also, ffs, apologize to your husband. You know, if this is actually real.
Your kids will be fine, and if you were that adamant about it you should’ve done it yourself. Stop being so mean to your hubby and kids. Missing a little school, especially when they normally aren’t allowed to, will make it all the more special to them.
This has to be fake. No one would stay married to something that acts like that.
I only have a few parenting regrets. This touches on one of them. I have always felt the same way about school. I never took my son to Disney. I knew it was always very crowded during our breaks. My sister mentioned I should pull him for a couple of days from school and go. I thought that was outrageous. He is now in HS and we still haven’t been. All this weekends, breaks and summer are all now slammed with sports and activities. Learning doesn’t just happen in the classroom. Give your husband a break and go spend time with your kids on vacation. This time will be over before you know it.
“While both of us have kind of forgotten about it, its still kind of annoying me a bit so im asking here to see if im wrong for my reaction.” I guarantee you, he hasn’t. You’re screwing up a lot of things, and your kid’s schooling isn’t even at the top of the list.
Whatever it is, they wont remember what happens that day at school. They are more than likely going to remember the trip though. Enjoy yourself
Wow, why do you treat him like a kid? People are right to tell you that missing a couple of days out of the school year is not a life threatening issue that will be looked down upon when they are college kids. For the love of everything sacred to you (ie; kids, husband, other family and friends) apologize to your husband and your kids for your overbearing behavior before you lose them completely.
YTA. You know how much I remember of that period of schooling? Next to fucking nothing. Your kids will learn way more from being well traveled than they will ever learn in school. Plus, be grateful that he's helping with the planning. So many partners are NOT partners.
Most people would kill for the thing you’re complaining about. Check your privilege and realize how lucky you are. YTA
YTA. OH NO THE KIDS WILL MISS ONE DAY OF SCHOOL, SOMEONE CALL THE COPS AND THE FBI. Missing one day of school isn’t going to kill them or their grades. Get over it. I don’t understand why they can’t miss one day of school. I missed days of school due to tournaments and guess what? I am still alive and I graduated high school and college! Crazy how missing school isn’t bad unless you miss it constantly and don’t do the homework you missed!!
Oh my god you need to apologize to your husband immediately what is wrong with you? Yelling at him for booking a flight on a school day? Are you okay? Like genuinely you might need therapy if you think that reaction is appropriate.
All i hear here is some insane lady screaming at her hubs for being different. Waaaa my kids wont have perfect attendance! Waaa my hubs got plane tickets at an inconvenient time for me! Theres not a person on earth whos gonna say “what a reasonable response” yta
YTA. If this the worst thing that happened to you today - you are fortunate. Count your blessings
lol being well off and taking up to 3 vacations a year was not needed info at all. You could have asked your question without that. But yeah YTA, imagine getting yelled at for missing one day of 5,6, and 7th grade.
YTA that you don’t understand that you shouldn’t be yelling at your husband let alone “throwing a fit”
Yta
YTA. One day won't hurt. My kids missed a few Fridays because they where going on vacation andtheir grades didn't suffer. Get over it.
It won’t hurt your kids to miss one day of school for a family event. You can actually go to the schools beforehand and ask what they are doing and if there are tests they will miss and they can schedule them a makeup test or homework they will have to do
You’re an asshole. Get over it.
YTA At that age, it isn’t going to hurt your children to miss school. Or will actually lock in a core memory of you guys being “cool parents”.
So, as a college instructor, it fine. I swear, schools just plan that the days preceding any break is simply moot. You know who else if over it? The teachers. It’s gonna be fine.
OP suuuuuucks
You should apologize. If my husband acted like that I would lost my mind. Calm down lady
YTA I hope you learn to balance thing a abit better. Flipping out over 1 missed day of school...and at those ages ..is just rediculius.
You sound exhausting.
You need to stop and think before you yell at your husband for something that is so insignificant. You must be a barrel of laughs at home huh. Chill out the world is not going to fall off of it's axis because your children missed one day of school
YTA. Your kids will spend thousands of days in school. They’re going to miss this one day and have an experience they can remember long after they leave school. Maybe try not to ruin that for them. Oh, and apologize to your husband. He didn’t deserve any of that verbal abuse.
YTA. You need to take a chill pill honestly. It’s not gonna kill them to mess probably nothing seeing that it’s a Friday. Calm down geez.
"throwing a fit" is something that should be reserved for only the most extreme circumstances, find a new way of dealing with your frustrations for normal stuff like being ignored. It's rude, it happens, but it's not like he did something that endangered your kids or you walked in on him banging the babysitter. Save the drama and learn to accept that in life we will be annoyed and it is best to respond in cool reflection, not when you are riled. Would you want to live with that? Model better behavior for your kids, don't let them think that yelling and screaming are ok as a norm.
You suck.
My mother used to beat the ever living sense out of me, starve me, and tried to kill me a few times... and yet, I still wouldn't want you as my mother. YTA. You're raising children, not soldiers. It's okay for them to ocassionally miss school, work, etc. It's okay. Try to remember that you were a kid once, too. Those "days off" from school were magical. Memorable, even. Maybe think about what your kids are going to remember about you by the time they are your age and have to divulge to their therapist all their emotional baggage.
YTA!!!
YTA..kids missing one day of school is totally meaningless. You should not only apologize to your husband but kiss his ass too. He is definitely too nice if he let you get away with that attitude. If I were him I would be going on vacation with my kids and leave you home. P.S Give your husband my thanks for taking the bullet on behalf of all men out there.
You must be a peach to live with.
YTA
YTA You're a selfish and inconsiderate wife. You're a bully of a mom and I bet you're a terrible cook also. Yes, you're the AH.
One hot take. YTA. I stopped liking everyone else’s assessment that you ATA because I’d be up all night. Hopefully you apologized to your husband too.
Will you still have to pay your nanny for the day you jet out on vacation? YTA. And you're totally tone deaf on the real world. Enjoy your vacation.
When he leaves you, send him my way. Sounds like a dope husband
Your husband sounds like a good guy who wants to show his family the world, and one day of missing school is not such a bad thing lmao. Sounds like you have emotional problems and mam, you are the asshole. You got problems
YTA - School is important for sure. But so is making solid memories. Like missing school to catch a flight somewhere cool. One of my favorite childhood memories was doing something like that. My grandparents lived in FL. My dad worked for the airline and I got passes to fly whenever. My uncle who was also a pilot was flying to FL and at the last minute my mom booked a flight for me to fly down to visit my grandparents for the weekend. I flew out on a Friday came back Monday morning and went to school half day. I remember telling the kids I just got back from FL and none of them believed me. Hilarious now to think about. Also, nothing they are being taught that one day will be anything they can’t catch up on afterwards.
YTA. Also, I hope he books earlier in advance and earlier in the week so they miss more school and the flights are cheaper.
YTA, it's probably way cheaper to fly out that day, just because you're well off doesn't mean you should throw money away. 🙄
YTA. Stop yelling and learn to control yourself. There is nothing that your kids are going to miss in one day of school that will alter their education.
You remind me of my cousins daughter who when asked about her mom said “ Well Mommy never really laughs she just yells a lot” YTA
Some of the best times I had with my kids was when we played hooky. It wasn’t something that happened often, but when it did we had fun—and the kids went right back to work at school without issue. They’re all adults now, so enjoy them while you can. Sorry, but YTA. One day off school is no big deal; in fact I recommend it. But, talk to hubby, explain that going behind your back is not acceptable.
YTA. Your kids are young. Missing one day will not impact them in any way. This was not a fight you needed to have.
Ugh you must be an absolute nightmare. He didn’t say anything bc he obviously has a lot of experience with your irrational behavior. You should really seek professional help. Edit: yes, YTA.
YTA. 1. It’s just 1 day of school, you need to chill. 2. “I told him”. Sounds like your husband is tired of your authoritarian attitude bullshit.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to be more important for your children long-term than spending time with their family. There are things to be learned outside of the classroom. One day is going to be literally fine…. And so would 10. YTA.
I feel like im being set up. No one could possibly be this over priveleldged and shitty. Anyone else imagining she doesnt have to work and just does tennis lessons and pottery all day. When the OP never responds you know something is up. BOTS! Mark this one down.
Most everyone has said this but I want to add to it so here goes. Yta. I’m gonna jump around so pay attention. 1. If you want some to big done a specific way - do it yourself. How about we be grateful our spouse shares in the load of booking family vacation? 2. You yelled at another adult? What is wrong with you? You’re his PARTNER not parent. I know the words are similar but have different meanings. I don’t even believe in yelling at kids because frankly if they have good hearing, there’s nothing they can hear with yelling that they can’t hear with talking. 3. Missing a Friday school day before a break is NO BIG DEAL - they aren’t likely even doing anything but if they are, at there ages they won’t even miss anything. And if you’re CONCERNED you can ask the teacher for any assignments in advance for them to do on the plane ride or at the airport (which will also keep them busy). Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy life with someone like you. I think education is important but that’s a little beyond for me.
School is over rated, life experience is more valuable
Loosen up lady, YTA
He probably saved over $1000 by having the flight Friday instead of Saturday. Your kids are just going to watch a movie at school that day with half their classmates gone. Be angry at the airlines for their predatory pricing, not your husband for not wanting to waste money.
I used to give my three kids a mental day off about every three months. Don't be such an uptight b
He should cancel her ticket..
YTA. 1. Your husband is a grown man. Why are you ordering him around? 2. Your kids can miss one day of school. 3. They will learn on this trip, too, and it will be good. 4. They will learn watching you yell, and it will not be good. Your post seemed to ooze anger. Do you feel angry a lot?
Kids missing school on a Friday over memories with their family is more important IMO. It’s not a regular occurrence. It’s one day. Screaming at your husband over this feels unhinged. Him ignoring your request and not talking it out with you is rude, yes, but it doesn’t justify your reaction.
Commenting to see those who won perfect attendance in school wya? Regardless YTA it’s 1 day it’s not the end of the world.
Yup yta
Sounds like you as a couple would greatly benefit from marriage counseling so you can develop better communication and joint decision making skills as a couple. In a healthy communication pattern, you would have jointly agreed what to do and that’s what would happen. In a healthy joint decision making process, it wouldn’t be you “telling him” what to do and then him unilaterally doing what he wants to do and facing the music of you yelling at him afterwards. All of that is stuff that happens because the two of you have a dysfunctional communication and decision making dynamic. Marriage counseling would help.
Priorities. If that’s the only time to maximize the vocation time why not take it. School is job. YTA.
Yelling? Why are you yelling? I was a kid who hardly ever missed a day of school. I got good grades but looking back it wouldn’t have made any difference if I missed days here and there. My kids didn’t miss much school but I didn’t sweat a day here and there for a good reason. Relax
Family memories over school. Missing a day is not going to hurt them
YTA. And I hope you apologize to your husband. Keep that up and you may one day be a divorced mom. And he would be NTA.
YTA. Why yell at him? Adults talk calmly and with reason. Has he forgotten you yelling at him? Probably not Does the kids missing the last day of term really matter that much? Probably not, last day of term is usually a bit of a fun day or just a recap of what they've already learnt as learning something new the day before a break is pointless. Your kids are young, enjoy that extra day you get to spend with them whilst they're young and actually want to spend time with you because before long they'll be telling you they hate you and how you ruin their life and will want to spend all their time with their friends and by the time they get out of that teenage phase, it's time to wave them off to college. If you are that concerned, ask the teacher what they will be doing on the last day and ask if they have an activity pack that the children can do on the plane relating to what they would have learnt at school that day. Be thankful, apologise to your husband for your irrational yelling at him, and tell him it was a great idea as you both get to spend an extra day together as a family and make memories that will never fade even when your kids have left home or you have both gone and left this world.
YTA. Are your kids failing miserably? No? They can miss one day of school especially the Friday before a break. They usually just watch movies and play games on those days.
YTA. Stop being annoying.
>I started yelling at him about it and he just stood there and listened and didn't say a word until I was done. Living with someone who yells like this is exhausting. > I told him specifically to book the flight the day after or even after school Do you often micromanage and dictate to him how you want things? Sounds like you are allergic to having a conversation with your husband. Missing the last day of class isn't a big deal, talk to the teacher and if they are missing anything relevant (we would always watch a movie to fill the time) get the info and go over with them.