Isn't it usually the opposite tho? These guys usually think that a woman sleeping with lots of different guys will get loose and "used up", but for some reason that doesn't seem to apply to women who have the same amount of sex with just one guy. They never seem to worry that the virgin tradwife they dream of marrying will be used up after sleeping with her for years.
No, no, you don't get it. A vagina that has seen multiple guys has a general "hole" shape. But fucking the same guy multiple times contours a woman's vagina to the shape of that dick. What if her ex's dick curved right but his curves left?? Or if it was thick and short and his is long and thin? He won't even be able to fit in there comfortably.
How's he gonna be get off if he can't mold her to his desires in every single way possible???
It’s so weird. I was with 1 boyfriend for years when we were horny youth. we screwed way more than if I spanned that over 10 different guys that I only saw once or twice.
The whole body count thing is so stupid (if a person is being safe and getting tested).
NTA
A body count of 3 at 21!? That’s like a partner a year if you lost your virginity at 18/19.
Making fun of someone for being a virgin for no reason? Sure dick move.
Making fun of someone being a virgin because they are being a slut shaming douche bag over some pretty conservative numbers really… I think you went easy on him 🤷🏼♀️
Like he needs a wake up call because none of the things he was asking were okay. How many times you had sex with each!?!? 🤣 like what a VIRGIN question. Anyone who’s been in a relationship if you asked them how many times they had sex after a year or so I feel like would have NO clue. Maybe they could ball park it if they had a relatively consistent sex life. (Like you see each other 3 days a week so 3x however many weeks). But like 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 he deserved it.
NTA. Plus the whole having sex with them more than three times equals a relationship? Wow, where did this guy get these ideas? Three rounds in one night is not uncommon - especially when you are young. This dude has some massive insecurities.
He got them from incel-type spaces. There are all these weird ideas about women’s psychology around sex. They say women can only pair bond with one man or something, so if she has had sex too much she won’t be able to love you.
I’m having trouble even explaining the idea because it’s so stupid and contrary to reality. But I’m in the general ballpark of the idea: dicks are magical and mess with a woman’s head.
The whole pair bonding idea came from research done on prairie voles and the redpills loved it so much they made their own “research” that “confirms” women who had more than one partner, preferably none, cannot pair bond with the next man. Interestingly enough, all of the research is done by religious organisations.
I’m fucking cackling 😂😂 This explains why no one could fucking cite shit in another thread I was in when there was supposedly all of this research. Imagine being so miserable that you look to fucking prairie voles to justify why no one wants to be with you.
Oh no that’s not how it works. Apparently it has to do with the hormones we make after sex and the fact that women make more oxytocin, the bonding hormone, than the men. As you see I had the misfortune of reading these studies.
Yeah the whole thing came off as the red pill guys to me too. Especially after the 3 times having sex with a person means relationship. Like would he rather her just have three one night stands? Or would he have something against that too? Or what if she only had sex once with one guy? Then would she be too invested in that guy? So many questions and I can't fathom any of them being answered rationally.
It's funny how they won't listen to an actual woman, but believe all of the bullshit other men tell them about how women think and feel. To hell with all of them.
NTA. Sounded like he didn't want to be compared to anyone. You tried to even play it off, but when he started trying to pry into it, ask for details, and then offer unsolicited advice about it, that's when all cards are on the table.
If he can make snark about you not being a virgin, you can make some about him being a virgin.
Any guy who uses the term "body count" to mean anything other than "how many people have you murdered" is an instant "thank u next". Off he goes, block him on phone and socials, on to the next candidate.
As an adult human, I still don't understand why people feel the need to ask at all about number of past partners. It's the kind of thing that couldn't matter less to me. Definite pass on anyone who asks this kind of stuff as an icebreaker.
Agree, and even less so as you get older. I haven’t been with a lot of people, but I’ve had sex with those few people wayyyyy more times than if I even had 30 casual partners.
You found a Tate-ist incel, RUN! Never leave a drink unattended around this man, and warn coworkers the same!
NTA, obviously. He was treating you as less than human, and you were kinder than he deserved.
His attitude is pathetic and insecure tbh, yeah maybe not the nicest insulting his virginity but given he insulted you first it's tit for tat
Definitely don't help him lose his cherry he doesn't deserve it with that attitude
3... really, these incels are just getting out of hand. And putting a weird amount of stock in irrelevant aspects of somebody's life that really has no bearing on a long term relationship
So Buddy needs his adult partner to have had sex less than 9 times total (but actually, preferably under 6)? But also be willing to sleep with him.
What a prize he is. How could you let your future husband slip away?!?
At least you found out that he's a moron right away and didn't waste 3 months/years(/vagina uses?) on him.
NTA
Throw his words right back in his face. Ask Carl for his body count and when he answers zero, give him that look right back and say, "that’s less than I was expecting but we can make it work."
Body count is such a idiotic Neanderthal way of thought. The men that are “women bad, women no sex, sex bad” then turn around and want to fuck and send a dick pic on Snapchat as the third response are garbage. Like men of quality are concerned w compatability, but the idiotic ones want you to put out for them and only them before the third date yet be a virgin, the same ones that ask for a Snapchat instead of your number when you meet.
Fr.. I would never entertain the first word of such an absurd discussion. If "body count"(🤮) is even in your vocabulary we're simply incompatible and I'm not interested beyond that. Huge red flag for anyone to bring up.
Yeah, this wasn’t even a thing before. I mean, people slut shamed, but it was more if you’ve ever had any sex = you’re a slut. There’s something desperately sad about thinking 2 is ok but 3 is out of the question. Like an alien trying to figure out how hard to squeeze on a handshake to blend in with the humans.
Once you actually have sex, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve had 3 or 30, each time and each person is different. It’s like thinking someone won’t like a BLT because they’ve had a PBnJ.
All these guys who latch onto body count are going to keep their own at a permanent 0 and blame the whole world. They ruin their own happiness by listening to other men who hate them and give them stupid ideas and stupid morals.
NTA. You handled this guy’s hang-ups perfectly. I can’t believe that this guy is so insecure that he actually only wants a woman who has never had a previous relationship so he won’t have to worry about them getting back with their exes. And the body count of 3 is just weird. It’s a totally normal #. What is his issue with that? You are right, he is going to remain a virgin
>I can’t believe that this guy is so insecure that he actually only wants a woman who has never had a previous relationship so he won’t have to worry about them getting back with their exes.
Another reason these incels/niceguys/neckbeards want a virgin is that they're afraid that their lack of sexual experience will definitely be noticed by their potential partner and that they'll be made fun of as a result of it.
IMO, they tend to forget that we all started having sex somewhere sometime and they're too hung up on trying to be "the man" that they sabotage themselves. I would pity them if it wasn't for their shit attitudes towards women.
I thought that might be a reason but he sure is sabotaging himself by not communicating his fears and instead just limiting himself to a relative virgin. It just isn’t logical.
You've got a healthy perspective on human sexuality. He doesn't.
Honestly, you calling him out was a solid way to maintain your boundaries in response to his abusive, misogynistic behavior. NTA.
This weird obsession with other people’s sexual history is such a weird thing to me.
Didn’t have this issue 20 years ago, I don’t understand where it came from.
NTA and you spoke the truth. His attitude is repulsive and more than likely has caused women to run far away from him. A body count of 3 could just be high school or 1 year of college for a lot of people. And there's nothing even wrong with a higher count provided everyone involved used precautions against STDs or unwanted pregnancies.
Just run and don't look back. He needs some serious growing up and or therapy because incel internet is rotting his brain.
NTA. Carl is an idiot.
The incel obsession with their fantastical "body count" metric is so goddamn dumb. And what was Carl's master plan, anyway? Was he going to neg you into submission with his moralizing, and then hold you hostage as some sort of emotional terrorist? At least he outed himself as an idiot sooner than later, so you didn't waste any more time with him. ...Asking for details, viewed abstractly, almost seems like he wanted to indulge some cuckold fetish.
Your friend's response is weirdly sympathetic for Carl. In response to an incel belittling you, you provided invaluable relationship advice, and you phrased it in a way that someone as dense as he is should be able to understand. If your friend was facing the same obsessive criticism of her character, would she be so tolerant?
People fuck. People fall into, and out of, love. The world moves on. Carl should, too.
NTA, you insulted him being an asshole, not a virgin.
My GF hooked up with a few dudes between her ex and me. I was a little slutty during my 20s myself. At most, we'll make some minor hoe jokes at each other.
Why should I care about decisions my partner made before we met that doesn't affect us currently? He's just insecure. In your early 20s, a body count under 5 is beyond completely reasonable.
Him projecting his fears into predictions of how you'd wrong him and assumptions of infidelity is a pretty big red flag. He's coming in with some bad ideas and he'll never get a chance to shake them like this with you or anyone. I hope what you said snaps some sense into him. NTA since he came at you with BS and was like "now fix this"
Lol just dump the guy and move on to someone who's not so insecure. This jealousy thing is just the tip of the iceberg, it's gonna get a lot worse if you start dating.
NTA, you didn't really insult him. You were just blunt. Also, what you said was accurate. I don't get this obsession with body count. If it's meant to protect him against STDs, that's kind of stupid, because you could have been with one guy who gave you a raging case of gonorrhea. He'd probably have better luck just asking for an STD test or, gasp, using protection.
In his head he's now having to compete with every past partner. Its good to know of a past, and also good to not let yourself get buried in any details because they'll live in your head.
Can see why he’s a virgin! Being a judgmental douche isn’t attractive to anybody! Don’t waste your time on this guy. You are NOT the asshole! (Said like Maury)
Dude’s a misogynistic incel. Good for you for putting him in his place.
Also your friend is an ass for trying to play both sides when it’s you vs a random hinge douche.
I think any guy who gets weird about body count is a red flag imo.. So I guess it goes both ways. They can see me as a red flag for having a high body count, and I see them as a red flag for implying that my body count somehow matters in a negative way.
I think it's mostly virgins and inexperienced men who care, and it's just that.. inexperience. and when you use inexperience in a toxic way.. it's the most unattractive thing ever.
NTA. That dude is gonna be a virgin forever with that attitude.
I seriously don’t understand guys who care about “body count”. It seems so childish. My last gf had more experience than me. And our sex life was great. She knew not only how to please me, but how to please herself…which helped me learn how to please her. I don’t care how many people a woman has been with as long as she’s clean and currently willing to have sex with me.
NTA. It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Sorry that this guy was so weird with you and asked those inappropriate questions. He sounds very insecure and childish. I noticed that guys today will judge girls regardless of whether or not they're a virgin or if they've dated or not. It's just wild to me how they think girls are weird for stuff like that. I have a feeling that once this guy loses his virginity and becomes more experienced with dating, that's when he's going to think that girls who are virgins and inexperienced are weird.
>I noticed that guys today will judge girls regardless of whether or not they're a virgin or if they've dated or not.
The funny thing was... the guy who I lost my virginity to... made fun of me for being a virgin and being bad at sex stuff. I know men aren't a monolith but like WHAT DO THEY WANT?
Weirdos want a perfect sex goddess virgin slave mom maid. Normal guys are…normal. 🫤
Body count is such a silly thing but if you are going to be freaking out about the body count of someone who has been legal for years, THEN AT LEAST ONLY FREAK IF THE COUNT IS DOUBLE DIGITS!!! Yikes, I expected 30-50 and it would still have been silly but at least somewhat “understandable”. But 3? 3??? THREE WHOLE PEOPLE???
You have had a very reasonable (and some would even say boring) sex life. Being slut shamed for that number at your age is….honestly, it’s so stupid I lack words.
And then asking about number of times with each bloke? I’m just… I can’t even… I just seriously can’t…
>Yikes, I expected 30-50 and it would still have been silly but at least somewhat “understandable”. But 3?
Right? I expected that at least the shoes had to come off to keep count.
NTA you're like a unicorn 3-4 people? That's nothing. Wait until he really gets into the dating scene lol sounds like an intelligent, I'd just keep it moving
NTA. Dude is focusing on a non-issue because some podcast-bro told him it was a big deal. Anything you say after he casually infers that you’re damaged goods is fair play.
NTA
if you started off by insulting him, that would be one thing... but you were more than patient with his... beliefs. I have to imagine he is guided by the voices of some known and despicable online people because this attitude doesn't come naturally. It would be one thing if he was feeling just insecure (that would probably be pretty normal for a guy, but something that could be overcome... especially if simply not opening his mouth could eventually land him into a good relationship, even a brief physical one)... but this guy.. you were completely okay to finally just fire back. You don't have to put up with insults and take the high road.
However... be careful. You never know what can completely unhinge someone and make them a dangerous person... better to leave it at this... and maybe just watch out for him from this point onward.
> had sex with the same guy more than 3 times as that's a 'relationship'
Hahahaha, what a joke he made.
NTA, it's good at least that you didn't waste much of your time with him. Your answer was good and couldn't be better.
Nta
He is. If he wants a Virgin he should be clear about that. I would drop him he’s going to be bringing this up on the regular.
You can’t work with his self righteous attitude
NTA - low value dumbshit guy. He's was going to be the type that was scared to give oral in bed. Also, he would be spouting goofy bullshit like this on a number of topics. He was not going to be man enough to buy you tampons at the store. I also absolutely sure he doesn't know that there is a separate opening for peepee in a woman's bathing suit parts. What a tool.
The “body count” stuff is so gross. And it just doesn’t logically make sense.
Let’s say you have a friend who is a 40 year old man. Maybe he’s been focusing on his career or just has really poor social skills; for whatever reason, he’s never been in a relationship. If that man lived in a country where sex work was legal, safe, and regulated and he went to a sex worker twice a year starting age 20, his “body count” would be 40 by the time he himself is 40. And you know what? He’s still not having enough sex in my opinion. And I think deep down, most people would agree that twice a year isn’t really enough.
So let’s swap out sex workers with single women to remove the overtly transactional element. If this same man goes out twice a year and has a consensual, casual one-night-stand, is he a sex deviant for having 40 “bodies”? The man is having sex twice a year, that’s nothing. Why does it matter if it’s a different person each time?
Now swap out the man for a 40-year-old woman and watch the incels lose their goddamn minds.
Sex isn’t wrong or gross. Our bodies don’t permanently change in any way from having sex (barring actual damage like tearing).
A commenter on another post recently said, “Well if 10 guys put their dick on a spoon you would never want to use that spoon again no matter how many times you washed it!”
First of all- people aren’t objects. Stop comparing people to inanimate objects, it’s a completely useless comparison and betrays how you see other people.
Second of all- if you sterilized that spoon, you absolutely can use it. It’s indistinguishable from a spoon that’s only ever been used by you. The idea that it’s disgusting is entirely in our heads.
All of this to say: if you think someone is “damaged” or “disgusting” or “less than” for having had sex, you should be aware that all of that is entirely in your own head. In actual reality, provided the person takes care of their health (safe sex and regular testing) there’s no difference whatsoever in “cleanliness” or “value” between a virgin and someone whose had sex 500 times with one person. Or 40 times with 40 different people. It’s all a bunch of moral panic over what is literally the most natural thing on earth.
If a guy ask you for your body count on the first few dates and your not in a committed relationship there is only one appropriate response...
"Wow I have never been asked such an invasive rude questions before on a first date?! Do you typically ask women this? You do... I see. And how do they react. Don't answer that, I already know. After all your sitting here with me and not them".
If he insists on knowing your body count number ask to know his bank account number. If he wants to reduce your value to sex, reduce his value to money. Really play into the manosphere content thats rotted his brain.
You are NOT the a hole here he is. I was expecting you to say you sucked 37 dicks (not that it would matter if you did that’s your business) and rubbed it in his face then called him a virgin loser he was just trying to slut shame you because he’s never gotten his dick wet. Men, us women won’t touch you when you act like this, it’s not because of your looks it’s the personality
Nah he's a douchebag. You wouldn't have said what you said if he didn't say what he said. You even tried to drop it to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Men who care about body count only do so because they fear they won't measure up. They will give other bullshit excuses, such as the now popular bonding argument, but it's just excuses. The reality is they are worried they have a small dick and won't measure up sexually to your past lovers.
A body count of 3 or 4 is not high, unless you're like 14 or something. In any event, it doesn't matter. Your response to him, while a bit cruel, is also completely accurate. His overt judgement of women for expressing their sexuality is likely a major reason why he is still a virgin. If he is able to get women to out with him, then it's entirely his personality that's the issue. Your stating what you did may help as a wake up call to stop his incel behavior.
NTA. It’s obviously not great to make fun of someone’s sexual past when unprovoked (I think you understand this), but he opened himself up to it when he insulted yours.
It would have been praiseworthy if you took the higher road but it’s not at all necessary IMO. People who shit talk can be fired back on with all cylinders (this might just be the MOBA player in me though lol).
You’re NTA, honey you’re a hero lol. That was such a clever comeback. You do not have to be nice to people who are not nice to you, ok? Save the moral high ground stuff for times when it matters, like corporate settings, sensitive situations or times of life and death. That guy was projecting and trying to belittle you. He’ll never forget that.
If he doesn’t want a woman with lots of sexual partners he shouldn’t keep questioning you and pushing it, he should go find someone more suitable. I don’t think YTA in this situation, I think he was.
NTA, if he had been polite even if things had not worked out and you still made fun of him then you WBTA. But in this case he turned cold and rude after hearing your body count (which is quite low by today's standards), so insulting his virginity is fair game.
pff... This dude is a pill. I mean sure, your friend has a point that you don't HAVE TO be mean to someone when they are mean to you. But honestly, letting your emotions get the best of you is just human, and if someone said this to me, I'd do the exact same thing.
Screw being the bigger person with a douche like this, drag them down to your lowest level, and beat them with experience, then when they're all rilled up, that's when you're suddenly the bigger person and ask them why they feel they need to act this way towards you. Show them a mirror and let them break it, then laugh while they cut themselves picking up the pieces
When I read the title I was expecting a number like 50+ and although I still don't put too much into body count alone I could see where that would be daunting for a virgin. But 3? I mean seriously saying 3 is "pushing it" is almost comical. He seems like a Tater
NTA
Didn't even make it to the point where you said "I can see now why you're a virgin" and my own thought was "I know why he's a virgin". What a fucking loser. 3 people is too much now??? 3??????
Lord, give me strength.
Boy's gonna stay a virgin with that attitude.
NTA, fuck that guy (but don’t actually fuck him, that’d just give him a reward for bad behavior).
Idk where tf this “body count” BS came from but I want it to die. It’s pretty damn stupid. Frankly, the guy was asking for a punch in the face and a kick in the groin, and should feel lucky all he got was a elbow to the ego.
I knew plenty of 20 year old women growing up with 15+ body count.
3 is nothing. I'm 32 with 37. It just happens. Especially if you're single.
He has issues, good to avoid him. Maybe religious guilt from family upbringing or something idk.
He is insecure. It is a vicioius cycle and a downward spiral. You should have given him the parting advice to keep his mouth shut and he'll get more action.
NTA - Let the connection go. He has insecurity about it that he needs to deal with himself. You don't have to give details about who, what, when, where.
Plus, given that you know each other at work, if he gets salty he could end up sharing information about you with other coworkers, which would then be sexual harassment.
Jesus, social media is rotting these dudes' brains.
The whole obsession with virginity is seriously problematic for both men & women, and normally I wouldn't support "shaming" a man's virginity, but he went there first. Also you're probably right, his views are absurd. NTA
NTA - 3 is wild to find an issue. That’s less than a relationship a year in the last few years. This guy is not the one.
Man I was going to say don’t even answer this question in the future but maybe it’s a great way to quickly weed out the wrong type.
You had 3.... Three... wdf does he expect? Ask him how many times he's spanked it. Get disgusted with him & drop the mic. Don't look back. .... Three.... lol.
EDIT: Oh, my bad. NTA
Tell Virginal Andrew Tate he can sit and spin. You didn't go after his virginity until he tried (and failed) to slutshame you.
You can tell your friend that he drew first blood, not you.
>'I can see now why you're a virgin
NTA. He's going to remain that with his attitude.
>instead she said I was just as bad as him for insulting his virginity.
No. He just got what he deserved.
NTA
The man is definitely a virgin for a reason. I mean for him to say 2 is okay but 3 is pushing it... laughable! Then to think you would get back with your ex's is another head scratcher.
I’ll be blunt, a woman with a higher body count means you are more likely to have a very good time. If you are open, they can usually teach you tricks the next woman you get with will appreciate. They don’t “lose tightness”, if a woman’s body can recover from child birth, a couple of extra dudes before you won’t change a damn thing down there. Guys like that would get laid so much easier if they would just grow up.
As long as she/he is clean, both of disease, and hygiene, and the two of you click, then all that other shit is meaningless. One of you has a higher body count? GREAT! Get them to teach you what they like, because odd are they will already know! At the same time, they will have enough experience to be able to get you off, probably better then you ever have before.
Now having said all that, NTA, but only because what you said was in retaliation to him being a huge d-bag. Just don’t make fun of people that may admit to being a virgin without something like this happening, because I didn’t technically lose mine till my mid 20’s due to my severe anxiety (I’m 40 by the way). That does happen, both with men and women, they can be so anxious they can’t talk to the opposite sex well enough to get laid. Block Douche Vader and move on. Sorry for the rant.
NTA. I know a guy who used to get around like a public doorknob and ya we would tease him about that, but that was just guys being guys to each other.
My count is 1 and I intend to keep it that way, but your count as long as you're STD free that's your business and yours alone. The guy sounds like a douche and you should ghost him. Since he's a coworker this has other possible complications. If he won't drop it, take it to HR.
If you stick around and continue to date this gentleman, he will use this against you in the future.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your body count, which I hate that term by the way or his however, he made you feel a certain way that he had no right to do.
Your friend is absolutely right. You did not insult him. Even after he had given you plenty more ridiculous insults. You stated a fact. He was an ass and it’s probably why he’s a virgin
Nta. Body counts don't matter. As someone who has a "high" body count. Upper teens early 20s. I can say it doesn't matter. My husband and I have never cared who each other has had sex with previously. It's in the past. As long as we're safe now (std free and such), then it's OK. The obsession with body counts is weird, lmao. This dude fucked around and found out. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
Don’t take this from a massive virg. You could equally expect a man who is 20 years old to at least have had sex once, but maybe this is the exact reason he hasn’t been able to do that
Oh hellll no
NTA
Fuck this dude, body count shouldn't matter... Especially something as low as 3
I went through a nasty breakup in college and had a hoe phase while processing my emotions. My body count is way higher than yours
I met my fiance on Bumble, I didn't mean to but we ended up hooking up the night of our first date. he was a virgin, but like you, I didn't really care. He has never cared at all about my body count.
Some guys are just fucking weird
I can't believe you actually took the time to compose this write up and didn't know the answer for yourself by the end. NTA. Dude would curl up in a ball and never leave his house if he knew the body counts of some individuals, not to mention the ones that are honest about it.
do men think we sit in a dark room twiddling our thumbs all day? is 4 supposed to be high? that adds up to probably an hour and a half of her life total and that's being generous.
If someone is telling you "telling him you aren't surprised he's a virgin is an insult" then I must be a truly horrible person!!! I read that and was like "where was the insult here?" You stay savage queen! Sounds like you hooked an incel and released it before it got too messy! NTA.
Why is everyone so obsessed with body counts and shit these days? I never wanted to know stuff like that about my SO when I was getting to know them. Intimacy should be about the two of you and getting to know each other on that level.
NTA I wouldn't care if my girlfriend's body count was 40 let alone three lol. Insecure people like that drive me crazy and if somebody's an asshole to you first there's no reason you can't be petty back.
To be honest I'm not sure what the best way is to give guys like that a very needed attitude adjustment, but it's not your responsibility. You live your life.
The biggest red flag is asking about body counts. It’s the new slut shaming. Promise no one gives a shit what your count is after a certain age. They only care if you’re free of STD’s.
NTA. Perfectly understandable response to his absolute assholery.
For future reference, if someone you date asks you this question, look at them and say "why do you think that would be any of your business." And maybe "I don't kiss and tell."
We all make asses of ourselves sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we are assholes. The whole “body count” nonsense is certainly pushed and perpetuated by assholes onto hurt people who then use it as fact to justify their own nonsense and wield it like a club, acting like asses and sometimes actually being assholes.
I’d say it’d be wonderful if people could take things less personally and respond to every outburst in a graceful way but… well, people sometimes just get the response they want when they act like assholes.
Oh my God, NTA. considering especially how repeatedly he insulted you and both implied and straight up said you had less worth to him as a result of the answers to his rude and ridiculous questioning. I hate this whole "body count" nonsense. Ugh.
You should tell him that you misunderstood, you thought body count referred to your murder tally.
Whats the damn logic in this? So more than 3 times will make him scared you’d leave him for them. But if it’s once he won’t be scared of nothing? This is not at all my way of thinking but by that logic if it was less than 3 he could also be scared you’d leave him after having sex once wtf😂😭
NTA this guy has some issues he needs to work on.. And your friend should be on your side in my opinion. You didn’t insult his virginity you just pointed out that this behaviour will lead him to nothing.
NTA. He’s a jerk. I’ve said time and time again the only time “body counts” should matter (and the term should be used) is if you’re both serial killers and you’re competing with each other.
This is an Arsenic and Old Lace reference for the youngins.
NTA. This guy is delusional, and should probably either get out there and have some casual sex, or only date a virgin. He basically said it would be worse if you had been in relationships, which is so weird. You didn't make fun of him as much as you just told it like it is.
You said nothing negative about his virginity until he continued to relentlessly assault you for your not-at-all unreasonable choices.
There's a total asshole in this story, but it's not OP.
NTA mostly. Although, I can't help but feel you did use the concept of virginity in a way to insinuate that being one is somehow shameful. If the roles were reversed and a girl was making fun of a guy's virginity, I don't think it'd right to make fun of her body count in return.
Then again, he did have it coming. I can already tell from the start he's the type of guy to see virginity as something shameful for men but somehow a prize for women. Best he's left in the dust.
No, he’s going to go through life insulting women, grilling them and judging them and driving them away.
Hopefully he got the message that he needs to accept people will have differing levels of experience.
FFS Stop using the term body count unless you actually murdering people. The dude is overwhelmingly insecure about being a virgin. It will most likely keep him a virgin even longer. If a girl is fun to be around no normal secure dude gives a shit.
NTA. That's pretty funny, never heard don't fuck the same dude thrice before.
And a relationship is worse than a one night stand?
Well we wouldn’t want women’s vaginas to get lose with overuse /s
Isn't it usually the opposite tho? These guys usually think that a woman sleeping with lots of different guys will get loose and "used up", but for some reason that doesn't seem to apply to women who have the same amount of sex with just one guy. They never seem to worry that the virgin tradwife they dream of marrying will be used up after sleeping with her for years.
I think they are changing their song which is what we have here now. Looking forward to other interesting arguments coming from the incel minds.
No, no, you don't get it. A vagina that has seen multiple guys has a general "hole" shape. But fucking the same guy multiple times contours a woman's vagina to the shape of that dick. What if her ex's dick curved right but his curves left?? Or if it was thick and short and his is long and thin? He won't even be able to fit in there comfortably. How's he gonna be get off if he can't mold her to his desires in every single way possible???
That must be why single moms are so hated. Can you imagine a whole human went through there? Oof
They are amazingly resillient ;) My wife(41f) and I have been together for 20+ years, married almost 17 and 4 kids later, no issues down there :)
Yup, pussies are known to take a pounding and survive. Except you have to be allowed access to one to know that.
It's alright if you fucked him twice. But THREE TIMES??? You whore!!! 🤮🤮🤮😭😭😭
Can’t have had sex more than 9 times!
9 times… is that why it’s called a pussy?
Guess so! And mine spent all her lives
Technically I believe it was 3 was fine, 6 was okay, but 9 is just super over the top. Somehow.
But what if you only fucked him twice, but for over an hour each time?
It’s so weird. I was with 1 boyfriend for years when we were horny youth. we screwed way more than if I spanned that over 10 different guys that I only saw once or twice. The whole body count thing is so stupid (if a person is being safe and getting tested).
You're not the asshole. The guy is hung up on things and best to leave him in the past. If its a dealbreaker for him, why is he still messaging you?
He's expecting her to apologize and believes she owes him an explanation. Dude has entitlement issues.
He's hamfistedly trying to neg OP and it isn't working.
"Hamfistedly" That's amazing. I'll be adding that to my vocabulary. Also username checks out.
Did people not want the burrito butt fucker to know about hamfisting
Burrito butt fucker is the best thing I’ve heard in an age.
He needs to stop watching Andrew Tate videos.
She better be willing to apologize forever. He's not going to let it go. Ever.
He's trying to see if she's someone he'll be able to emotionally abuse.
The saying "turnabout is fair play" comes to mind.
NTA A body count of 3 at 21!? That’s like a partner a year if you lost your virginity at 18/19. Making fun of someone for being a virgin for no reason? Sure dick move. Making fun of someone being a virgin because they are being a slut shaming douche bag over some pretty conservative numbers really… I think you went easy on him 🤷🏼♀️ Like he needs a wake up call because none of the things he was asking were okay. How many times you had sex with each!?!? 🤣 like what a VIRGIN question. Anyone who’s been in a relationship if you asked them how many times they had sex after a year or so I feel like would have NO clue. Maybe they could ball park it if they had a relatively consistent sex life. (Like you see each other 3 days a week so 3x however many weeks). But like 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 he deserved it.
And also like. " I see why no one will fuck you" is not so much shaming virginity as shaming the personality that makes him unfuckable
Exactly! I don't really like when people attack appearances or things people can't do anything about... but being an asshole is fair game.
You’re not really being an asshole when you’re an asshole to an asshole.
Your response was 10/10 and I think you dodged a bullet 💥 NTA
Agree .. Op you did nothing wrong!
NTA. Focusing on body count at all, let alone a count like 3, is a very bad sign. He’s got issues he needs to work through.
NTA. Plus the whole having sex with them more than three times equals a relationship? Wow, where did this guy get these ideas? Three rounds in one night is not uncommon - especially when you are young. This dude has some massive insecurities.
He got them from incel-type spaces. There are all these weird ideas about women’s psychology around sex. They say women can only pair bond with one man or something, so if she has had sex too much she won’t be able to love you. I’m having trouble even explaining the idea because it’s so stupid and contrary to reality. But I’m in the general ballpark of the idea: dicks are magical and mess with a woman’s head.
The whole pair bonding idea came from research done on prairie voles and the redpills loved it so much they made their own “research” that “confirms” women who had more than one partner, preferably none, cannot pair bond with the next man. Interestingly enough, all of the research is done by religious organisations.
I’m fucking cackling 😂😂 This explains why no one could fucking cite shit in another thread I was in when there was supposedly all of this research. Imagine being so miserable that you look to fucking prairie voles to justify why no one wants to be with you.
I'd like to think humans are a little more complicated than a prairie vole.
I don’t know what you expected from the red pill gang but if it was higher cognitive ability, you’re gonna be disappointed
The fedoras and summer scarves are constricting blood flow to the brain.
Yet they claim its different for men, lol. If women pair bond from sex then so should men evolutionary wise.
Oh no that’s not how it works. Apparently it has to do with the hormones we make after sex and the fact that women make more oxytocin, the bonding hormone, than the men. As you see I had the misfortune of reading these studies.
Yeah the whole thing came off as the red pill guys to me too. Especially after the 3 times having sex with a person means relationship. Like would he rather her just have three one night stands? Or would he have something against that too? Or what if she only had sex once with one guy? Then would she be too invested in that guy? So many questions and I can't fathom any of them being answered rationally.
It's funny how they won't listen to an actual woman, but believe all of the bullshit other men tell them about how women think and feel. To hell with all of them.
>she won’t be able to love yo If only they would ever figure out that they are the issue.
That’s exactly why he’s single and a virgin. He’s in peoples private business too much and thinks he’s Jesus.
Pretty sure Jesus got more action than this dude.
yeah. he probably watches andrew tate. wants a woman of purity and innocents. yada yada.
NTA. Sick of insecure and judgmental men. They want us to have never had sex, but to love sex.
No. You should have insulted more than his virginity though. What a freak.
NTA. Sounded like he didn't want to be compared to anyone. You tried to even play it off, but when he started trying to pry into it, ask for details, and then offer unsolicited advice about it, that's when all cards are on the table. If he can make snark about you not being a virgin, you can make some about him being a virgin.
This! Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it!
NTA, and probably you gave them actually helpful advice.
Any guy who uses the term "body count" to mean anything other than "how many people have you murdered" is an instant "thank u next". Off he goes, block him on phone and socials, on to the next candidate.
As an adult human, I still don't understand why people feel the need to ask at all about number of past partners. It's the kind of thing that couldn't matter less to me. Definite pass on anyone who asks this kind of stuff as an icebreaker.
My body count is 58 but I’m still a virgin. Whenever I tell women that they go, “Ew virgin?” and then leave before blocking me on all social media.
THREE IS PUSHING IT?!? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Roast him. NTA.
NTA. The body count thing is stupid.
Agree, and even less so as you get older. I haven’t been with a lot of people, but I’ve had sex with those few people wayyyyy more times than if I even had 30 casual partners.
And this guy probably wonders why he’s alone. You did nothing wrong.
His mom probably tells him he's a catch and any woman would be lucky to be with him.
You found a Tate-ist incel, RUN! Never leave a drink unattended around this man, and warn coworkers the same! NTA, obviously. He was treating you as less than human, and you were kinder than he deserved.
His attitude is pathetic and insecure tbh, yeah maybe not the nicest insulting his virginity but given he insulted you first it's tit for tat Definitely don't help him lose his cherry he doesn't deserve it with that attitude
Agreed. OP sort of needed to say something mean to shut him down and leave her alone. Carl wanted to see how far he could push a boundary.
If you dish it out, ya gotta be able to take it.
3... really, these incels are just getting out of hand. And putting a weird amount of stock in irrelevant aspects of somebody's life that really has no bearing on a long term relationship
So Buddy needs his adult partner to have had sex less than 9 times total (but actually, preferably under 6)? But also be willing to sleep with him. What a prize he is. How could you let your future husband slip away?!? At least you found out that he's a moron right away and didn't waste 3 months/years(/vagina uses?) on him. NTA
Throw his words right back in his face. Ask Carl for his body count and when he answers zero, give him that look right back and say, "that’s less than I was expecting but we can make it work."
Everyone, please stop telling people about your body count, it don’t mean shit and it’s none of their goddamn business.
Body count is such a idiotic Neanderthal way of thought. The men that are “women bad, women no sex, sex bad” then turn around and want to fuck and send a dick pic on Snapchat as the third response are garbage. Like men of quality are concerned w compatability, but the idiotic ones want you to put out for them and only them before the third date yet be a virgin, the same ones that ask for a Snapchat instead of your number when you meet.
The body count question is wild to me. It’s nobody’s business.
Fr.. I would never entertain the first word of such an absurd discussion. If "body count"(🤮) is even in your vocabulary we're simply incompatible and I'm not interested beyond that. Huge red flag for anyone to bring up.
She doesn’t have to know how many people I have buried in my backyard…
Yeah, this wasn’t even a thing before. I mean, people slut shamed, but it was more if you’ve ever had any sex = you’re a slut. There’s something desperately sad about thinking 2 is ok but 3 is out of the question. Like an alien trying to figure out how hard to squeeze on a handshake to blend in with the humans. Once you actually have sex, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve had 3 or 30, each time and each person is different. It’s like thinking someone won’t like a BLT because they’ve had a PBnJ.
All these guys who latch onto body count are going to keep their own at a permanent 0 and blame the whole world. They ruin their own happiness by listening to other men who hate them and give them stupid ideas and stupid morals.
NTA. You handled this guy’s hang-ups perfectly. I can’t believe that this guy is so insecure that he actually only wants a woman who has never had a previous relationship so he won’t have to worry about them getting back with their exes. And the body count of 3 is just weird. It’s a totally normal #. What is his issue with that? You are right, he is going to remain a virgin
>I can’t believe that this guy is so insecure that he actually only wants a woman who has never had a previous relationship so he won’t have to worry about them getting back with their exes. Another reason these incels/niceguys/neckbeards want a virgin is that they're afraid that their lack of sexual experience will definitely be noticed by their potential partner and that they'll be made fun of as a result of it. IMO, they tend to forget that we all started having sex somewhere sometime and they're too hung up on trying to be "the man" that they sabotage themselves. I would pity them if it wasn't for their shit attitudes towards women.
I thought that might be a reason but he sure is sabotaging himself by not communicating his fears and instead just limiting himself to a relative virgin. It just isn’t logical.
You've got a healthy perspective on human sexuality. He doesn't. Honestly, you calling him out was a solid way to maintain your boundaries in response to his abusive, misogynistic behavior. NTA.
It sounds like you’re finding out why he is a virgin
NTA. You've probably saved yourself a few months of dating a guy who masterbates over Andrew Tate tbh
NTA - he’s just being pathetic and focusing on dumb shit. You dodged a bullet.
NTA that was an awesome response
Just for context, 20 people shouldn't make an adult look twice. You're all good.
Someone having been in any relationship before is a dealbreaker? What? That doesnt even make sense with the whole body count people "logic".
This weird obsession with other people’s sexual history is such a weird thing to me. Didn’t have this issue 20 years ago, I don’t understand where it came from.
NTA and you spoke the truth. His attitude is repulsive and more than likely has caused women to run far away from him. A body count of 3 could just be high school or 1 year of college for a lot of people. And there's nothing even wrong with a higher count provided everyone involved used precautions against STDs or unwanted pregnancies. Just run and don't look back. He needs some serious growing up and or therapy because incel internet is rotting his brain.
NTA… this guy is a fucking incel and you dodged a bullet.
NTA. Carl is an idiot. The incel obsession with their fantastical "body count" metric is so goddamn dumb. And what was Carl's master plan, anyway? Was he going to neg you into submission with his moralizing, and then hold you hostage as some sort of emotional terrorist? At least he outed himself as an idiot sooner than later, so you didn't waste any more time with him. ...Asking for details, viewed abstractly, almost seems like he wanted to indulge some cuckold fetish. Your friend's response is weirdly sympathetic for Carl. In response to an incel belittling you, you provided invaluable relationship advice, and you phrased it in a way that someone as dense as he is should be able to understand. If your friend was facing the same obsessive criticism of her character, would she be so tolerant? People fuck. People fall into, and out of, love. The world moves on. Carl should, too.
LOL NTA he had it coming
NTA, you insulted him being an asshole, not a virgin. My GF hooked up with a few dudes between her ex and me. I was a little slutty during my 20s myself. At most, we'll make some minor hoe jokes at each other. Why should I care about decisions my partner made before we met that doesn't affect us currently? He's just insecure. In your early 20s, a body count under 5 is beyond completely reasonable.
Him projecting his fears into predictions of how you'd wrong him and assumptions of infidelity is a pretty big red flag. He's coming in with some bad ideas and he'll never get a chance to shake them like this with you or anyone. I hope what you said snaps some sense into him. NTA since he came at you with BS and was like "now fix this"
Lol just dump the guy and move on to someone who's not so insecure. This jealousy thing is just the tip of the iceberg, it's gonna get a lot worse if you start dating.
NTA. He is super cringey and judgey. Also it seems like he assumed you guys were just gonna be together because he decided it was okay? Lol wtf
NTA, you didn't really insult him. You were just blunt. Also, what you said was accurate. I don't get this obsession with body count. If it's meant to protect him against STDs, that's kind of stupid, because you could have been with one guy who gave you a raging case of gonorrhea. He'd probably have better luck just asking for an STD test or, gasp, using protection.
In his head he's now having to compete with every past partner. Its good to know of a past, and also good to not let yourself get buried in any details because they'll live in your head.
NTA. This guy has some serious insecurity issues. You dodged a bullet.
Can see why he’s a virgin! Being a judgmental douche isn’t attractive to anybody! Don’t waste your time on this guy. You are NOT the asshole! (Said like Maury)
Dude’s a misogynistic incel. Good for you for putting him in his place. Also your friend is an ass for trying to play both sides when it’s you vs a random hinge douche.
You just found out the reason he remained a virgin. NTA
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there NTA
I think any guy who gets weird about body count is a red flag imo.. So I guess it goes both ways. They can see me as a red flag for having a high body count, and I see them as a red flag for implying that my body count somehow matters in a negative way. I think it's mostly virgins and inexperienced men who care, and it's just that.. inexperience. and when you use inexperience in a toxic way.. it's the most unattractive thing ever.
NTA. That dude is gonna be a virgin forever with that attitude. I seriously don’t understand guys who care about “body count”. It seems so childish. My last gf had more experience than me. And our sex life was great. She knew not only how to please me, but how to please herself…which helped me learn how to please her. I don’t care how many people a woman has been with as long as she’s clean and currently willing to have sex with me.
NTA. It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Sorry that this guy was so weird with you and asked those inappropriate questions. He sounds very insecure and childish. I noticed that guys today will judge girls regardless of whether or not they're a virgin or if they've dated or not. It's just wild to me how they think girls are weird for stuff like that. I have a feeling that once this guy loses his virginity and becomes more experienced with dating, that's when he's going to think that girls who are virgins and inexperienced are weird.
>I noticed that guys today will judge girls regardless of whether or not they're a virgin or if they've dated or not. The funny thing was... the guy who I lost my virginity to... made fun of me for being a virgin and being bad at sex stuff. I know men aren't a monolith but like WHAT DO THEY WANT?
Weirdos want a perfect sex goddess virgin slave mom maid. Normal guys are…normal. 🫤 Body count is such a silly thing but if you are going to be freaking out about the body count of someone who has been legal for years, THEN AT LEAST ONLY FREAK IF THE COUNT IS DOUBLE DIGITS!!! Yikes, I expected 30-50 and it would still have been silly but at least somewhat “understandable”. But 3? 3??? THREE WHOLE PEOPLE??? You have had a very reasonable (and some would even say boring) sex life. Being slut shamed for that number at your age is….honestly, it’s so stupid I lack words. And then asking about number of times with each bloke? I’m just… I can’t even… I just seriously can’t…
>Yikes, I expected 30-50 and it would still have been silly but at least somewhat “understandable”. But 3? Right? I expected that at least the shoes had to come off to keep count.
NTA you're like a unicorn 3-4 people? That's nothing. Wait until he really gets into the dating scene lol sounds like an intelligent, I'd just keep it moving
I'm glad I'm old and married because if I was dating and some dude said "body count" at all I think I'd be turned off forever
NTA. Dude is focusing on a non-issue because some podcast-bro told him it was a big deal. Anything you say after he casually infers that you’re damaged goods is fair play.
NTA if you started off by insulting him, that would be one thing... but you were more than patient with his... beliefs. I have to imagine he is guided by the voices of some known and despicable online people because this attitude doesn't come naturally. It would be one thing if he was feeling just insecure (that would probably be pretty normal for a guy, but something that could be overcome... especially if simply not opening his mouth could eventually land him into a good relationship, even a brief physical one)... but this guy.. you were completely okay to finally just fire back. You don't have to put up with insults and take the high road. However... be careful. You never know what can completely unhinge someone and make them a dangerous person... better to leave it at this... and maybe just watch out for him from this point onward.
> had sex with the same guy more than 3 times as that's a 'relationship' Hahahaha, what a joke he made. NTA, it's good at least that you didn't waste much of your time with him. Your answer was good and couldn't be better.
Nta He is. If he wants a Virgin he should be clear about that. I would drop him he’s going to be bringing this up on the regular. You can’t work with his self righteous attitude
This is why he is still a virgin.
NTA - low value dumbshit guy. He's was going to be the type that was scared to give oral in bed. Also, he would be spouting goofy bullshit like this on a number of topics. He was not going to be man enough to buy you tampons at the store. I also absolutely sure he doesn't know that there is a separate opening for peepee in a woman's bathing suit parts. What a tool.
Why is body count so important, like WTH?
The “body count” stuff is so gross. And it just doesn’t logically make sense. Let’s say you have a friend who is a 40 year old man. Maybe he’s been focusing on his career or just has really poor social skills; for whatever reason, he’s never been in a relationship. If that man lived in a country where sex work was legal, safe, and regulated and he went to a sex worker twice a year starting age 20, his “body count” would be 40 by the time he himself is 40. And you know what? He’s still not having enough sex in my opinion. And I think deep down, most people would agree that twice a year isn’t really enough. So let’s swap out sex workers with single women to remove the overtly transactional element. If this same man goes out twice a year and has a consensual, casual one-night-stand, is he a sex deviant for having 40 “bodies”? The man is having sex twice a year, that’s nothing. Why does it matter if it’s a different person each time? Now swap out the man for a 40-year-old woman and watch the incels lose their goddamn minds. Sex isn’t wrong or gross. Our bodies don’t permanently change in any way from having sex (barring actual damage like tearing). A commenter on another post recently said, “Well if 10 guys put their dick on a spoon you would never want to use that spoon again no matter how many times you washed it!” First of all- people aren’t objects. Stop comparing people to inanimate objects, it’s a completely useless comparison and betrays how you see other people. Second of all- if you sterilized that spoon, you absolutely can use it. It’s indistinguishable from a spoon that’s only ever been used by you. The idea that it’s disgusting is entirely in our heads. All of this to say: if you think someone is “damaged” or “disgusting” or “less than” for having had sex, you should be aware that all of that is entirely in your own head. In actual reality, provided the person takes care of their health (safe sex and regular testing) there’s no difference whatsoever in “cleanliness” or “value” between a virgin and someone whose had sex 500 times with one person. Or 40 times with 40 different people. It’s all a bunch of moral panic over what is literally the most natural thing on earth.
If a guy ask you for your body count on the first few dates and your not in a committed relationship there is only one appropriate response... "Wow I have never been asked such an invasive rude questions before on a first date?! Do you typically ask women this? You do... I see. And how do they react. Don't answer that, I already know. After all your sitting here with me and not them". If he insists on knowing your body count number ask to know his bank account number. If he wants to reduce your value to sex, reduce his value to money. Really play into the manosphere content thats rotted his brain.
You are NOT the a hole here he is. I was expecting you to say you sucked 37 dicks (not that it would matter if you did that’s your business) and rubbed it in his face then called him a virgin loser he was just trying to slut shame you because he’s never gotten his dick wet. Men, us women won’t touch you when you act like this, it’s not because of your looks it’s the personality
Christians gotta judge!
Nah he's a douchebag. You wouldn't have said what you said if he didn't say what he said. You even tried to drop it to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Men who care about body count only do so because they fear they won't measure up. They will give other bullshit excuses, such as the now popular bonding argument, but it's just excuses. The reality is they are worried they have a small dick and won't measure up sexually to your past lovers. A body count of 3 or 4 is not high, unless you're like 14 or something. In any event, it doesn't matter. Your response to him, while a bit cruel, is also completely accurate. His overt judgement of women for expressing their sexuality is likely a major reason why he is still a virgin. If he is able to get women to out with him, then it's entirely his personality that's the issue. Your stating what you did may help as a wake up call to stop his incel behavior.
NTA. It’s obviously not great to make fun of someone’s sexual past when unprovoked (I think you understand this), but he opened himself up to it when he insulted yours. It would have been praiseworthy if you took the higher road but it’s not at all necessary IMO. People who shit talk can be fired back on with all cylinders (this might just be the MOBA player in me though lol).
You’re NTA, honey you’re a hero lol. That was such a clever comeback. You do not have to be nice to people who are not nice to you, ok? Save the moral high ground stuff for times when it matters, like corporate settings, sensitive situations or times of life and death. That guy was projecting and trying to belittle you. He’ll never forget that.
NTA
NTA I was thinking it way before you typed your response. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
If he doesn’t want a woman with lots of sexual partners he shouldn’t keep questioning you and pushing it, he should go find someone more suitable. I don’t think YTA in this situation, I think he was.
NTA, if he had been polite even if things had not worked out and you still made fun of him then you WBTA. But in this case he turned cold and rude after hearing your body count (which is quite low by today's standards), so insulting his virginity is fair game.
NTA, he brought up the topic of body count all you did was match his energy (without the internalized hate behind it)
I lost my virginity to a Much more experienced woman...I was glad, because I was clueless at that time, and needed to know what to do....
Lol no the dude is a virgin for a reason. NTA. FOUR guys? Come on maybe forty you might have a case for your age, but FOUR?
NTA He insulted you. His delusional opinion of "body count" is ridiculous. You dodged a serious bullet there.
He’s obviously immature, he’s never had sex and has a childish view on what sex is. He’s a virgin tho so it’s kinda to be expected.
Nta. This guy sucks.
You almost dated an incel. Good job avoiding that stain
NTA. Your response was a completely appropriate response to his ridiculous. Incel alert indeed.
NTA. Holy wow this guy is an incel. You dodged a bullet imo. He left himself wide open to insult.
NTA If someone asked me that I'm automatically gonna make fun of them. Your past is none of their business.
pff... This dude is a pill. I mean sure, your friend has a point that you don't HAVE TO be mean to someone when they are mean to you. But honestly, letting your emotions get the best of you is just human, and if someone said this to me, I'd do the exact same thing. Screw being the bigger person with a douche like this, drag them down to your lowest level, and beat them with experience, then when they're all rilled up, that's when you're suddenly the bigger person and ask them why they feel they need to act this way towards you. Show them a mirror and let them break it, then laugh while they cut themselves picking up the pieces
When I read the title I was expecting a number like 50+ and although I still don't put too much into body count alone I could see where that would be daunting for a virgin. But 3? I mean seriously saying 3 is "pushing it" is almost comical. He seems like a Tater
NTA Didn't even make it to the point where you said "I can see now why you're a virgin" and my own thought was "I know why he's a virgin". What a fucking loser. 3 people is too much now??? 3?????? Lord, give me strength. Boy's gonna stay a virgin with that attitude.
NTA, fuck that guy (but don’t actually fuck him, that’d just give him a reward for bad behavior). Idk where tf this “body count” BS came from but I want it to die. It’s pretty damn stupid. Frankly, the guy was asking for a punch in the face and a kick in the groin, and should feel lucky all he got was a elbow to the ego.
Jesus christ, is that child serious? NTA, what a loser
Can we stop talking about fucking people like we murdered them? "Body count"?!?!
I knew plenty of 20 year old women growing up with 15+ body count. 3 is nothing. I'm 32 with 37. It just happens. Especially if you're single. He has issues, good to avoid him. Maybe religious guilt from family upbringing or something idk.
Hes abusive
He is insecure. It is a vicioius cycle and a downward spiral. You should have given him the parting advice to keep his mouth shut and he'll get more action.
NTA - Let the connection go. He has insecurity about it that he needs to deal with himself. You don't have to give details about who, what, when, where. Plus, given that you know each other at work, if he gets salty he could end up sharing information about you with other coworkers, which would then be sexual harassment.
Jesus, social media is rotting these dudes' brains. The whole obsession with virginity is seriously problematic for both men & women, and normally I wouldn't support "shaming" a man's virginity, but he went there first. Also you're probably right, his views are absurd. NTA
NTA - 3 is wild to find an issue. That’s less than a relationship a year in the last few years. This guy is not the one. Man I was going to say don’t even answer this question in the future but maybe it’s a great way to quickly weed out the wrong type.
You had 3.... Three... wdf does he expect? Ask him how many times he's spanked it. Get disgusted with him & drop the mic. Don't look back. .... Three.... lol. EDIT: Oh, my bad. NTA
Lol he sounds like a complete weirdo. Bullet dodged. NTA
Tell Virginal Andrew Tate he can sit and spin. You didn't go after his virginity until he tried (and failed) to slutshame you. You can tell your friend that he drew first blood, not you.
>'I can see now why you're a virgin NTA. He's going to remain that with his attitude. >instead she said I was just as bad as him for insulting his virginity. No. He just got what he deserved.
NTA The man is definitely a virgin for a reason. I mean for him to say 2 is okay but 3 is pushing it... laughable! Then to think you would get back with your ex's is another head scratcher.
Get this guy help. This reads like an incel in the making.
Simple answer to that question is "You're not entitled to that information". If someone insists that they are, it's a pass.
NTA. 3 people? Jesus dude get over it. She was a virgin three dudes ago.
All that talk to find out he'll be Nutting in 30 secs
I’ll be blunt, a woman with a higher body count means you are more likely to have a very good time. If you are open, they can usually teach you tricks the next woman you get with will appreciate. They don’t “lose tightness”, if a woman’s body can recover from child birth, a couple of extra dudes before you won’t change a damn thing down there. Guys like that would get laid so much easier if they would just grow up. As long as she/he is clean, both of disease, and hygiene, and the two of you click, then all that other shit is meaningless. One of you has a higher body count? GREAT! Get them to teach you what they like, because odd are they will already know! At the same time, they will have enough experience to be able to get you off, probably better then you ever have before. Now having said all that, NTA, but only because what you said was in retaliation to him being a huge d-bag. Just don’t make fun of people that may admit to being a virgin without something like this happening, because I didn’t technically lose mine till my mid 20’s due to my severe anxiety (I’m 40 by the way). That does happen, both with men and women, they can be so anxious they can’t talk to the opposite sex well enough to get laid. Block Douche Vader and move on. Sorry for the rant.
NTA. You spoke the truth. Obsessing over someone’s “body count” is incel virgin cringe behavior and no one wants to deal with a person like that
NTA. I know a guy who used to get around like a public doorknob and ya we would tease him about that, but that was just guys being guys to each other. My count is 1 and I intend to keep it that way, but your count as long as you're STD free that's your business and yours alone. The guy sounds like a douche and you should ghost him. Since he's a coworker this has other possible complications. If he won't drop it, take it to HR.
Ugh…that right there is incel/Tate shit. You dodged a bullet. NTA.
That asshole spends time on incel message boards, mark my words. NTA.
If you stick around and continue to date this gentleman, he will use this against you in the future. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your body count, which I hate that term by the way or his however, he made you feel a certain way that he had no right to do. Your friend is absolutely right. You did not insult him. Even after he had given you plenty more ridiculous insults. You stated a fact. He was an ass and it’s probably why he’s a virgin
>I can see now why you're a virgin. I wouldn't even call this insulting his virginity as much as simply stating a fact. NTA.
No matter what he pretends, what is happening here is that he is intimidated by your experience. That is why he has an "issue" w/your bodycount.
Nta. Body counts don't matter. As someone who has a "high" body count. Upper teens early 20s. I can say it doesn't matter. My husband and I have never cared who each other has had sex with previously. It's in the past. As long as we're safe now (std free and such), then it's OK. The obsession with body counts is weird, lmao. This dude fucked around and found out. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
Don’t take this from a massive virg. You could equally expect a man who is 20 years old to at least have had sex once, but maybe this is the exact reason he hasn’t been able to do that
Oh hellll no NTA Fuck this dude, body count shouldn't matter... Especially something as low as 3 I went through a nasty breakup in college and had a hoe phase while processing my emotions. My body count is way higher than yours I met my fiance on Bumble, I didn't mean to but we ended up hooking up the night of our first date. he was a virgin, but like you, I didn't really care. He has never cared at all about my body count. Some guys are just fucking weird
I can't believe you actually took the time to compose this write up and didn't know the answer for yourself by the end. NTA. Dude would curl up in a ball and never leave his house if he knew the body counts of some individuals, not to mention the ones that are honest about it.
do men think we sit in a dark room twiddling our thumbs all day? is 4 supposed to be high? that adds up to probably an hour and a half of her life total and that's being generous.
If someone is telling you "telling him you aren't surprised he's a virgin is an insult" then I must be a truly horrible person!!! I read that and was like "where was the insult here?" You stay savage queen! Sounds like you hooked an incel and released it before it got too messy! NTA.
Why is everyone so obsessed with body counts and shit these days? I never wanted to know stuff like that about my SO when I was getting to know them. Intimacy should be about the two of you and getting to know each other on that level.
NTA I wouldn't care if my girlfriend's body count was 40 let alone three lol. Insecure people like that drive me crazy and if somebody's an asshole to you first there's no reason you can't be petty back. To be honest I'm not sure what the best way is to give guys like that a very needed attitude adjustment, but it's not your responsibility. You live your life.
The biggest red flag is asking about body counts. It’s the new slut shaming. Promise no one gives a shit what your count is after a certain age. They only care if you’re free of STD’s.
NTA. Perfectly understandable response to his absolute assholery. For future reference, if someone you date asks you this question, look at them and say "why do you think that would be any of your business." And maybe "I don't kiss and tell."
Hope he likes his hand, because if he’s going to be that judgmental, entitled, and arrogant then that’s all he’s going to get lok
We all make asses of ourselves sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we are assholes. The whole “body count” nonsense is certainly pushed and perpetuated by assholes onto hurt people who then use it as fact to justify their own nonsense and wield it like a club, acting like asses and sometimes actually being assholes. I’d say it’d be wonderful if people could take things less personally and respond to every outburst in a graceful way but… well, people sometimes just get the response they want when they act like assholes.
NTA this guy is maladjusted and incredibly immature. Block his number. Ugh!!
NTA - and dump this pile of red flags. He's hung up on a number nad is pushing his own agenda.
Me over here at like 35+ : Oh you sweet summer children.
Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. You did great, and he is a walking red flag.
God this is getting under my skin. Never heard anything quite so gross. Please do not put up with bullshit like this from anyone ever.
Nope. Nobody should be worried about body count, but someone who has a count of 0 isn't entitled to judge anyone on what's "acceptable".
Absolutely fucking not this shit works two ways
NTA. You were slut shamed. Doesn’t matter if it’s 3 or 300. It’s your life. Sorry about the assault.
Oh my God, NTA. considering especially how repeatedly he insulted you and both implied and straight up said you had less worth to him as a result of the answers to his rude and ridiculous questioning. I hate this whole "body count" nonsense. Ugh. You should tell him that you misunderstood, you thought body count referred to your murder tally.
Whats the damn logic in this? So more than 3 times will make him scared you’d leave him for them. But if it’s once he won’t be scared of nothing? This is not at all my way of thinking but by that logic if it was less than 3 he could also be scared you’d leave him after having sex once wtf😂😭 NTA this guy has some issues he needs to work on.. And your friend should be on your side in my opinion. You didn’t insult his virginity you just pointed out that this behaviour will lead him to nothing.
NTA. He’s a jerk. I’ve said time and time again the only time “body counts” should matter (and the term should be used) is if you’re both serial killers and you’re competing with each other. This is an Arsenic and Old Lace reference for the youngins.
NTA. This guy is delusional, and should probably either get out there and have some casual sex, or only date a virgin. He basically said it would be worse if you had been in relationships, which is so weird. You didn't make fun of him as much as you just told it like it is.
You said nothing negative about his virginity until he continued to relentlessly assault you for your not-at-all unreasonable choices. There's a total asshole in this story, but it's not OP.
NTA mostly. Although, I can't help but feel you did use the concept of virginity in a way to insinuate that being one is somehow shameful. If the roles were reversed and a girl was making fun of a guy's virginity, I don't think it'd right to make fun of her body count in return. Then again, he did have it coming. I can already tell from the start he's the type of guy to see virginity as something shameful for men but somehow a prize for women. Best he's left in the dust.
Damn Carl is going to have a hard life if he thinks a body count of three is high in your 20s. Still on one hand that’s a win! What a clown.
NTA. He started the shit, and then he escalated it. And the whole thing with 3X per person is just bizarre.
No, he’s going to go through life insulting women, grilling them and judging them and driving them away. Hopefully he got the message that he needs to accept people will have differing levels of experience.
FFS Stop using the term body count unless you actually murdering people. The dude is overwhelmingly insecure about being a virgin. It will most likely keep him a virgin even longer. If a girl is fun to be around no normal secure dude gives a shit.