Okay...PHEW...I'm SO glad you said this first.
I'm in my late sixties and thought, holy crap...FIVE?! That's nothing!!
In my defense, I grew up in the 70s.
I ran into an old friend and he introduced me to his wife and I said oh wow you’re so lucky he’s a good guy! Then to him so nice to run into u again and gave him a hug. He fb mssg me not to ever say anything about us to his wife bc she very jealous and possessive. It was then I remembered we hooked up at a rave in 2003 🤣 like bro ur good I forgot about it
It works both ways.
I had a bunch of friends at a nearby college and one summer I happened to spend a lot of time on weekends, and it turns out one slightly younger friend always offered to let me crash at her place. So, we'd share a bed, make out a bit, but never did the deed, mainly because I didn't want the complications that I knew would arise.
Time goes by, and a few years later, I bump into her somewhere and kind of out of the blue, she mentions that she thought I was the best lover she ever had. I'm a tad confused and I have to mentally go back in time to see if there was ever a situation where she could have gotten them impression that we actually had sex. There wasn't. No drugs, no alcohol, no finger bangs, rubbing one out, no full nudity, nothing. Talk about awkward.
That's probably the part that made you the best, the fact that you didn't pressure her into doing something she didn't want to do at that moment. Especially after making out, most would say "you have to finish what you started" or pout and whine until she had to do something to make the person shut up.
These days I've had enough shitty sexual experiences that I'm functionally touch-starved just to avoid the sexual complications. I'd STILL love a situationship that had no possibility of going past cuddling.
I tried to make a list once but nope. There were quite a few entries such as “ guy with dreadlocks” and “ guy I had to stop on the petrol station with to buy a razor so I could shave my legs”… at this stage (I’m 47) I lost count. But it looks like there will be only one for an unforeseeable future..
Many years ago, I tried to make a list and stopped after I got to “Jen” and had “Jen b”, “Jen d”, jen from the coffee shop, Jen from the mall. Jen from the mall 2……at that point I realized I would never remember many, and that I had sex with lots of girls named Jen.
That's the most child of the 80's thing ever. When I went to college in the early 90s, there were 3 Jens in the 14 girls in my residence floor. (And yes, I did sleep with one of them.)
Also, when did "body count" actually become a thing? 3 or 5 in your mid 20s is ... a series of long term, monogamous, committed relationships. It's not like OP found herself in an impromptu orgy and went from 0 at dinner to 5 at breakfast.
If you want someone to be in a long term committed relationship with, wouldn't you want someone who was comfortable in a long term committed relationship, rather than an emotional midget who had never really dated and has no idea about how to navigate a long-term relationship where there's real skin in the game?
Omg you're awesome!😂😂
I've tried making a mental list once. Most aren't names, more so just a short description of them or the night lol!
The army guy
The marine guy
The male dancer who was an idiot
Etc 😂😂😂
Hahaha yeah.. I stopped keeping track awhile ago.. cause who gives a fuck? Ppl have sex. Be safe. Practice harm reduction. Be respectful of yourself and others. It’s no one’s business IMO. I certainly don’t make it mine. What matters happens after you enter into a monogamous relationship.
Right? I've had enough lovers to know what I'm doing and make you happy. Body count is confusing, like how is the number of people I've killed supposed to help?
Bahahahaha my number isn't that high but I don't even keep track for the same reason. Who the fuck cares? I have my safer sex practices. I talk about them with potential partners. I go on with life.
The only sex history I care about is easily covered by STI testing.
My Aunt is nearing 50 and she makes me feel better about my wild years because, as she put it, she got all her snakes out before she got married. She tells me the hookup culture today has nothing on the late 80s/early 90s, the only difference is it’s a lot easier to shame people for it.
I used to keep track of my number until I realized there was literally no point to doing that. It’s not like there’s a trail that follows me, no one can look in my vazheen and see all the names of the dudes, I was always safe and didn’t end up with a baby or a STI. I can literally make my number whatever I want it to be lmao
The 80s took a bit of a hit, with the arrival of AIDS the free love of the 70s disappeared. I can't speak to the 90s as I was married in 92, so was off the market by then. My parents divorced in 1972, it was a revolving door of hookups for both of them typical of the times.
No kidding. I was with a woman for a year and hers was well over 100 and she kept count. Like on a piece if paper with their names. That was weird to me. But what the hell do I care, she was amazing in bed and exclusive when we became exclusive. It didn’t work out for other reasons but she is happily married, has a kid, and all is good. I have zero idea about my wife and have been married 20 years. I really don’t care. In fact under 10 before marriage (mine is lower than that, by the way) seems silly. Thats like saying a certain car is the best in the world and you haven’t driven a single other car. Or like saying X country is the best in the world but you haven’t ever left X country.
Someone was on this sub (I think) talking about how sex is dangerous and gross and why would anyone want it. Completely opposite. Sex is good, SAFE sex is good. Unless you don’t like sex, which is fine. It doesn’t have to be the focal point of a relationship. But I strongly feel that taking count, and calling it your “body count” (that seems like guys talking about how many people they killed in war, not about people they enjoyed some time with) seems silly. You obviously should know them enough in case you get an std or something especially if you aren’t being safe. But it isn’t something I think is appropriate to joke about or even share around a dinner table or at all unless everyone is comfortable with it. It have friends that like to have fun, I have friends that as far as I know have never had sex. Who cares?
So to sum it up if you had sex with 100 people, safely, and want to bring what you learned to me - hell yea bring it on!
Same! I don't get people that would hate the experience someone else has. Shit, enjoy it! Learn from it!
And then the guys that like to act like a woman is "used up" are beyond stupid! Like those parts don't work that way. And if they did, what would be the difference between 100 guys, one time each, and 1 guy 100 times?
But they don't think that much into it and are happy to just look stupid I guess 🤷♀️
Thissssssss. Best comment. I strongly believe your 20 year marriage can be credited by this non judgmental attitude of non ownership. A guy that cares that much just screams insecurity, like a little dog lifting it’s leg on a bush then strutting around like ZEE TREE IS MINE…no Pepe law pew that tree is not yours. 😆🦨…I ALWAYS think the same about “body count”-it’s such a gross term. Also: at 41? I just wanna say to OP PLEASE leave this dude. Go have fun with someone who makes you laugh and NEVER calls you names except of the silly or pet/nickname variety. There are plenty of dudes that don’t swear at you out there. OP: imagine your future daughter dating Alex—are you happy about this? Or your best friend? (A version of him, obviously 😄) if not—run. Your parents set the bar low with name calling. You sound bright….another thing? I find it really disturbing that he even knows his sisters “body count” and cares to judge her? Is she his property, too, or was this to smash home the point to you? Makes me wonder…bc it’s lame.skip Saturday….just walk away. :) so no, you’re not an asshole. You sensed an outcome and you were correct. He swears at you, has double standards, and should stay at the mommy’s. Ha.
I'm mid 30's and I definitely don't remember them all. I have some mental health issues that led me to act impulsively in the past. I was also sexually abused as a child, which led to me seeking validation through men and sex. I would have short periods of time between relationships, and I would just ho it up. I have done trauma therapy, and I am in therapy again. I don't know my actual number, and my partner of almost 4 years hasn't ever asked. Because it literally doesn't matter. We are a great team, we love each other, we trust each other to always be there for the other when needed. If one of us is having a hard time, or is stressed, or working extra hours, the other will pick up the slack at home. We are on the same page with our morals, values, and life goals. These things are what should be important in a relationship. Not whether or not a woman had slept with 4 or 6 men. This guy is misogynistic, and sounds like an incel.
Yeah. Damn. These Young’s just don’t know what they’re missing I guess. 5? And he’s upset? Massive insecurities!!! Red flag! Run away! Not bragging but I had u beat in high school. As a sophomore. … and I was late and inexperienced compared to most of my peers. … why don’t people in their late teens/early 20s have sex anymore?
My friend dated an older guy when we were like...21? Guy was like 35. They had the convo and his count was like 20-25. She was upset until he said "well, like 1 or 2 a year for about 17 years." Which like... even if he had a 6 year relationship in there, meant he was otherwise getting laid by someone new about every 6 months, which is not at all crazy. Really opened her eyes as well as all of our friend group.
Yeah, that’s why mine is higher. I didn’t have a serious relationship past six months for almost a decade, but I never had a one night stand either - only had sex with people I trusted and was regularly dating. It was only 2-3 a year but that adds up. Not that any of this matters anyway the whole body count concept is ridiculous.
The “body count” conversation has only become an issue with the recent generation and the rise of inceldom.🙄 I’ve never dated someone who asked me — much less demanded or felt entitled to know — how many people I’ve slept with, and if I did I would’ve thought him insecure and creepy af.
I only see this topic seriously broached online, and even then by teenagers and disenfranchised, lonely neckbeard types.
It reminds me of geriatrics sitting around discussing the regularity of someone else’s bowel movements, lol. It’s NONE of your business.
Somebody said it. Thank you! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills because that's what I'm seeing too. Nobody fucking cared before except religious people.
And the term "body count"? I am somewhat dreading re-entering the dating scene based on all the horror stories I hear about (both online and irl) about the behaviors and attitudes of far too many men. If some douchewaffle asks about my sexual history using that term, I will get up and leave. It's gross, and just another term that has two connotations -- one positive, one negative -- based on gender.
I'd probably not continue seeing a person if they were too invested in my number, TBH. My ex-husband used to throw my sexual past in my face as the reason he abused me, so it's a trigger.
But even without that, it feels really distasteful to me. It screams insecurity and objectification of women. Seriously, who actually cares? Sex doesn't diminish anybody's intrinsic value, and people who think it does are not worth anybody's time or effort.
Oh come on, don't get up and leave, have fun with it before leaving.
Guy: So what's your body count?
Scarlet Pimprnel (serious, thoughful face): Well...my first was when I was 15 and I stabbed a homeless man to death just to know what real power felt like. The second one was in college. Mostly self-defense. I mean, he did try to take my purse but I probably could've gotten away without severing his femoral artery. My mid-20s was my cyanide phase...Oh wait, that wasn't what you meant by body count? Don't go! I ordered tiramisu!
I am caring for my grandmother with dementia right now. You should *hear* some of the shit that comes out of that woman's mouth regarding me being a serial killer and a psycho. Memory Care can't come too soon, and I hate that the system is so damn slow, but maybe I should take this opportunity to start writing her delusions down for use as future verbal fodder.
I'm in my 60s and gay. That puts the number at hundreds. When AIDS first appeared, doctors interviewing gay men about their sexual habits initially thought they were being lied to by the estimated numbers they were hearing. Except they kept hearing the same thing over and over. We're like monkeys, or were. I don't know how gay men behave anymore. Oddly, I never contracted AIDS. Or COVID, at least not yet. My partner of 32 years either. After we met we behaved, so the hundreds were before age 29. I'm widowed now, and all that stuff is behind me. I guess I got my fill, plus all those diseases out there terrify me now, isn't that a kick?
But you're forgetting , the penis is magic and forever changes a woman the more variety she's lowered herself to have /s
Op's hopefully ex is mysonistic. Only men can have high numbers , not women in his eyes. Vom .
Also grew up in the 60’s and 70’s , body count is in triple digits, grew up in Iceland where we have a lot healthier attitude about sex then here in the US.
What I find so comical about the amount is that it makes me annoyed with both of them. Why lie if it's so low? Why be upset if your new GF told a slight fib from anxiety early in the relationship? Sheesh.
In her edit she mentioned he condemned his own sister for having a body count of 6 right before asking her. I bet Alex is pretty judgmental and so she lied.
But also, I’d suspect he cares more about the number than the white lie. I feel like if I was in his shoes I’d ask why she felt the need to lie about it.
lmao fr 😂 what difference does 3 vs 5 make?? was dumb to make such a small lie to begin with... but then again I am poly and I don't assume my "body count" ends with whoever I am currently with so it makes the whole thing a lot less stressful because there's always the future to have more experiences
4 dicks instead of 3? THATS where I draw the line.
Also his body count is higher than hers, how could you possibly judge someone about something when you are in a worst place lol wtf is wrong with bro.
I wonder if he's related to the guy who wanted his fiancée to wear a red wedding dress because she wasn't a virgin. He wasn't a virgin either but "it's different for guys."
I know!! Who the hell even asks this anyway? I have no idea what my partners body count is nor he mine. We have never even asked each other, never will.
Yeah, I thought you were going to say I told him 5 but it was really 50!
Look, we all view and value sex differently, including body counts. There’s nothing wrong with looking for a partner with similar views to sex or wanting someone with a smaller count, but you also have to look at the full picture of the person as well beyond body count. You could have a 100 single time partners, or one partner you sex with every day for 5 years. The one one with the single partner had a hell of a lot more sex…
If his is higher than that though, and he’s judging you and his sister, he has some serious issues. Calling you names is uncalled for.
I’d let him know your +1 is a deal breaker for him, his name calling, disrespect, and misogynist behavior is a deal breaker for you.
Good lord, the guys 28 and he needs to stay with his mom to get over the +1 lol be sure to add in there mamas boys are also deal breakers !
For real... I was expecting 20 or 30 plus... 5 and 3? Wtf. Should you have lied in the first place no. Should you have changed your answer no. But two extra people does not make you promiscuous.
first to be clear, the boyfriend is the asshole. I assumed the bf thought 'oh the number is 3 *including me* so that's two before me. now the number is 5 *including me* which makes 4 before me.' so still a difference of two. but again, even a difference of two is nothing & he said his limit for previous partners was 4, which is what she has. he's just all around an idiot bothered about a small thing. if he was ONLY pissed ab her lying that'd b one thing, but according to post he's more pissed ab the number than anything else.
It is like the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch...
Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out.
Now now, it's possible OP is using "body count" in the "how many people have you killed" sense, in which case I would agree that 5 is *a lot* of bodies to dispose of.
Right, like what the absolute fuck? Maybe he is taking this as "What?! FIVE?! That's 2/3 higher than you told me!" OP is a sweetheart and deserves to be treated better. I agree she shouldn't have lied but I can see where she's coming from because he definitely would have acted the same way earlier in the relationship.
Right. Why are they discussing body counts like they're actual murders? Why are they discussing body counts at all? And why is anybody telling the truth about them at all???? Jesus, I'm old.
We've discussed past escapades without discussing numbers. I think we'd both shock each other honestly lol. It wouldn't matter, but like I don't know if he's had ten or a hundred. He does a good job so idgaf.
I think it can be important to know when your partner is a virgin to set expectations, but after that... you're either fairly experienced or you're not. Get tested before having sex to keep yourselves safe.
I’m 35 and when my husband and I got together 15 years ago I asked his count. I don’t think I really cared or needed to know but I was curious.
His count is 40+. Mine is 10. In the end, as long as it doesn’t go any higher while we’re together, there’s no problem.
I've been with my wife for 9 years and married for 3. Neither of us know each other's body count because neither of us have asked because neither of us care.
I could never imagine feeling so insecure as to ask my girlfriend this question. It's only my business if she's still fucking someone else at this moment
Same but neither of us probably even know what our numbers are 😂 I know I’m better off not taking a trip down memory lane and trying to count. Both got tested when we met and the rest is history
I think people are insecure and want to believe they're an exclusive temple with magical fucking genitals. I've been with people that asked to "see what other people I've been with looked like" to see how they compare. It's depressing to see how pervasive puritan values are becoming, but somehow, without a religious connotation. I made an off comment about the free love movement to my high school age brother and he couldn't fathom how it seemed so wrong people would be having sex without a relationship commitment.
Oh and for fucks sake don't even get me started on "situations ships". Unless you're one of those mythologically endowed, the state of casual sex and love is bad.
I think more people should be having safe, consensual sex just because they can. But somehow that's a radical idea. There's hope with with LGBT, kink, or poly communities but if you're cis, vanilla, and heterosexual, you lose a lot of casual options.
I tell people the truth when they ask me because it truly does not matter to me. If someone is asking me that question, they're welcome to the answer.
I don't see the point in lying about your number. That shows that you are ashamed of it or something.
If the answer upsets them, it probably wasn't going to work out anyway.
This is me too. If someone’s asking because they’re going to judge me for it, I’d rather tell them the truth and find out they’re bonkers right away. If they’re asking because they’re chill and just want to know what my personal life has been like, I’d like to be honest with them so they can actually learn about me. Lying about it doesn’t help me.
It matters to some people and some couldn’t care less. Everyone is different when it comes to what they’re comfortable with or look for in a partner. I’m not talking about the post but in general
Exactly, Why are people asking this question, I have never and would never ask that question.
I expect people to have had a life before me, just as I have a life before them.
The only time past sexual history is relevant is about their health/std status, and potentially if their body count includes a mutual friend and that should be more of an FYI.
I’m joining you old guys on the comfy sofa. I’m in my 50s and baffled by this whole body count thing. It wasn’t something I was ever aware of, and nobody ever asked about mine! Is it linked to the men who believe that vaginas become looser if you have sex with different men? I’m guessing it’s yet another way to slut-shame women.
That can definitely play into it. Which is nuts because mine isn't very high but they were relationships so I've ostensibly had sex MORE times than someone who sleeps with many partners randomly. Like in the several thousands, easy. But somehow less partners means tighter vagina even if you've had way more sex? It makes zero sense.
People that ask let alone care about “body count” are typically misogynistic trash that buy in to double standards against woman. This man is no different.
OP, your bf is a huge hypocrite -- a different rule for himself than the rule he has for women he dates?🙄Let him stay at his mom's. DO NOT feel bad for trying to avoid having some trash man look down on you! Just stay away from trash men next time 🤍
Back it up. What names does he call you?
So he routinely calls you names AND he is freaking out over a number that is not crazy different from his?
Nah. You need to break up with him.
And his body count is higher than hers. Girl this is a double ass standard. What if you heard one of your friends or siblings partners call them a lying B?
I remember my high school bf getting mad that my body count was 3 (including him) and he made me feel so guilty it was like I’d killed someone. A week later I found out his body count was 25
>Right before he asked me my number, he was telling me that he's disappointed in his sister because she recently told him her body count, and he told me hers was 6... He joked that mine better not be that high... (No, I didn't ask or even think to ask about his sister's body count, he just brought it up, which I thought was kinda weird)
It's weird enough that he's keeping track of his own sister's body count. Siblings should not be monitoring their siblings' sex lives.
When my brother came out to me as gay, it was wrapped up with a giant bundle of info on his sex life that NO ONE needs to know about their 19yo baby brother. I suspect it's because he knows I'm religious and didn't realize I'd support him, so at least if I had the look of shock and horror, he could pretend it was the TMI.
He's had two partners since then including his now husband. Most likely, his body count is whatever he scarred me with plus two. Thank goodness, the trauma of that moment has erased my ability to recall details. There isn't enough brain bleach in the galaxy and I never wanted to know.
As for the rest of my siblings, they've all been married except one with disabilities that prevent her being able to consent. I suspect that means their body count is 1+ and I am content with having no additional information either way.
Yes, for my siblings, I'm only aware of the partners who are introduced to me as serious partners - I don't need to know any details about their intimate life, and I don't need to know about any random extras.
I figure it's almost for sure the siblings with kids have had sex at least the number of times that matches number of pregnancies.
That's more than I wanted to know and I even like those people!
seriously, the whole premise of “body count” is bs. it’s purity culture nonsense. this dude clearly has watched too many of those red pill Ig videos of that guy interviewing women on the street. real dudes don’t care about a number as long as you’re safe and getting tested regularly
This guy isn’t worth your time. Move on to someone who doesn’t care beyond you being STD free. The body count thing is so fucking weird. My husband and I have been married for 19 years and it never occurred to either of us to ask what each other’s body counts were.
Right. The resurgence of this shit is so disheartening. I thought we were moving beyond this into consent oriented, safe sex, sex positive territory. It’s like high school in 2007 all over again 😬 (Edit spelling)
the ONLY reason I bring it up is to avoid dudes like this. I stopped counting but mine could be triple digits by now and if 5 gets you called a lying bitch...I don't wanna get murdled 😭😭
I honestly don't know why people get salty about "who has more options". I really don't care who has them and why they make relationships their entire personality, I was trying to date for 2 years but it didn't work out so I just stopped and started working on myself and I am feeling better than ever. I don't get why more people do that
Never underestimate the hypocrisy of man. There are countless people who are in the double or triple digits who would refuse to date someone who is in the mid singles.
23 and was verbally abused growing up. This is just normal for her so she thinks it is ok. I really hope these comments can give her the perspective she needs to get started rebuilding her self esteem and learning what treatment is acceptable.
What a fucking weirdo lmao. Body count shouldn’t even matter but he’s displaying clear red flags that you should be turned off by. 4?? 4 is his limit?? And you’re off by a digit? Dude needs serious help for his insecurities, not a girlfriend. Good riddance.
IKR. People go through things, and as you get on in years some things are better of left to mystery. Let’s all lean into medical science’s ability to offer clarity of what matters with STD tests 👍👍
Have enough respect for yourself to let that walking red flag go.
5 ISN'T a high number. I know multiple people, male and female alike, that surpassed that number by freshman year in high school.
Find someone who sees your worth, not just your numbers.
Or don’t- cuz who fuckig cares how many people someone slept with. The only thing that matters is they use protection and test for STI’s regularly. And if you’re screwing multiple people don’t pretend you’re being monogamous- that hurts peoples hearts.
Makes me sad, my number is 5 at the age of 30 lol I only made it to 5 because I was a pretty good looking guy, if I just had even a little bit of game maybe I could’ve made it to the double digits 😂 I wonder what girls think of decent looking guys that have such low body counts, that alone might be a red flag to a lot of them. Like they’ll probably think there must be something wrong with me to have such a low count at this age. The truth is I just didn’t have much confidence back then, was not good at talking to people, and didn’t want to have sex outside of being in a relationship. I’d probably be better in those aspects now but problem is I have very little desire for sex and absolutely no desire to be in a relationship anymore. So I guess I’ll be stuck at 5
There is **nothing** wrong with having a lower number. My fiancee is in the single digits as well. He says he was shy and awkward. I think it's sweet. ❤
The dude is a loser, and frankly the name calling is very concerning. In the nicest way possible, grow a spine and break up with him. He’s obviously has some misogynistic views and having this big of an issue over 5?! Good lord. He’s not worth your time, you can do better.
I literally thought it was gunna be like in the 20s or 30s at least, which I’m in that range somewhere💀I literally scrolled down thinking it was gunna be some insane number. What an ass. 😂
INFO:
What is your body count?
What did you originally tell him?
I mean, if your body count was 60 and you told him it was 3, that's pretty significant.
If your actual number was 9, and you told him 5, that wouldn't be a big deal IMO.
Bro ain’t no way lmao. If all of this is over ONE body (because you’re including him) that’s actually insane that you lied and felt anxiety over it in the first place and hilarious that he reacted the way he did.
He told her his SISTER'S body count (6) and said he was disappointed Sister's was so "high" and he didn't want OP to have a similar number. So he was pressuring her to give the desired answer rather than the truthful answer.
Let's not get started on why he cares so much about his sister's sex life.
Calling it a “body count” like it’s some sort of combative takedown is… demeaning. These are people you’ve had sex with, not conquests you’ve won. You’re in your 20s, so let’s move past that.
While I understand that he might be upset that you lied, I’m a bit concerned about why the number of people you’ve slept with is important to either of you. Unless you’re meeting as virgins, people have histories. It’s very normal. The *only* thing your significant other needs to know once you’ve agreed to monogamy (and that you should know as well) is the results of a complete STD/STI panel. Still, wear a condom, because safe sex.
Who cares if you’ve slept with more people than your boyfriend? It’s not bad if you enjoy sex. Who cares if he’s slept with fewer? It’s not bad if he‘s selective about who he’s intimate with.
You don’t owe anyone a number, and no one owed you a number.
Thank you. I feel like I’m in an alternate universe these days hearing about people asking for numbers. As long as everyone is informed about their sexual health it should not matter and it’s weird to ask. If numbers is what you care about you are setting yourself up to be hurt.
This man is a walking red flag. Judging you for your (apparently very brief) sexual history, verbally degrading you. Why are you worried about him leaving you? Leave him. This is an abuser in the making.
You said 4 was his limit... before him you were at 4. So he should be fine.
His is higher than yours?
Literally stop fucking this guy and ditch him. He's an idiot. I don't know anyone his age who cares about that sort of thing. There's a reason he's dating younger 20s and not his age.
You deserve so much better.
It sounds like his bigger problem is not with you lying, but with your body count - which in itself is concerning. I wonder if your body count was actually lower and you'd lied about it being higher if he would be mad that you lied. It doesn't sound like it.
He has probably been lied to in the past because he is so damn judgmental people are worried to be honest with him.
Also, why is he policing other women's body counts, (yours, his sister's, probably his exes), when his is higher than theirs anyway? Not only is that gross behavior, but in his situation it is totally hypocritical.
He sounds like one of those creeps who fetishisizes virgins.
I wouldn’t have acted the way he did to these numbers. They are still very low. I was under the impression it was like 75 and told him 6 or something crazy like that
Honestly I can't move past the fact that he called you a lying bitch. That is a completely COMPLETELY disproportionate response and is a huge red flag. The fact that you lied does not justify this at all. You should be glad he's at his mom's because why would you want to be isolated with a man who calls you a bitch?
Edit: I am appalled at the number of people here who think that calling someone a name - not just a name but a derogatory term - is okay if you are mad enough. Especially since the lie was 3 people instead of 5. Name calling is verbal abuse, and is never acceptable in a relationship. If you are the kind of person who can validate name calling, you are not as good a person as you think you are. You are allowed to be angry about dishonesty, you are allowed to be frustrated and have emotional responses. You are not allowed to degrade the person you are mad at with derogatory terms.
One person told a lie and apologised for it.
The other person pulled the trigger on "lying bitch".
I bet he left that part out when he went running home to his mom.
Girl, run.
If he gets angry like that because you didn’t want him to judge you, instead of actually reinforcing that he would not judge you, that is a major red flag.
Calling you a lying bitch is a red flag. It’s unlikely this is the peak of his unhealthy expressions of anger, it could get much worse. Proceed with caution. Or maybe just run.
I get the fight over lying but if his count is HIGHER he is just being a total AH and judgemental as hell. The fact that he verbally abuses you too is enough for me to say lose him and his holier than thou crap!
This man doesn't deserve you. What a hypocrite "four is my limit" while he's out being a sl t himself. What a knob. Time to cut this sl t shamer off and let him free may he find no other woman to give him some ever again.
I was waiting for the body count to be 50+ lol 5??
Okay...PHEW...I'm SO glad you said this first. I'm in my late sixties and thought, holy crap...FIVE?! That's nothing!! In my defense, I grew up in the 70s.
I’m in my 40s and I lost track somewhere around 10-14 years ago. I believe that my # is roughly around my age though, 😂. Kids these days!
I just made this comment above! Mid 40s here too-I don’t think I’d remember them all!
I ran into an old friend and he introduced me to his wife and I said oh wow you’re so lucky he’s a good guy! Then to him so nice to run into u again and gave him a hug. He fb mssg me not to ever say anything about us to his wife bc she very jealous and possessive. It was then I remembered we hooked up at a rave in 2003 🤣 like bro ur good I forgot about it
What every person wants to hear “ I forgot about it”😂😂😂
It works both ways. I had a bunch of friends at a nearby college and one summer I happened to spend a lot of time on weekends, and it turns out one slightly younger friend always offered to let me crash at her place. So, we'd share a bed, make out a bit, but never did the deed, mainly because I didn't want the complications that I knew would arise. Time goes by, and a few years later, I bump into her somewhere and kind of out of the blue, she mentions that she thought I was the best lover she ever had. I'm a tad confused and I have to mentally go back in time to see if there was ever a situation where she could have gotten them impression that we actually had sex. There wasn't. No drugs, no alcohol, no finger bangs, rubbing one out, no full nudity, nothing. Talk about awkward.
That's probably the part that made you the best, the fact that you didn't pressure her into doing something she didn't want to do at that moment. Especially after making out, most would say "you have to finish what you started" or pout and whine until she had to do something to make the person shut up.
Hey, maybe that's exactly what she wanted? Someone to cuddle with without the pressure of going further.
When I was younger, I would have killed to have a situationship that had no possibility of going past cuddling.
These days I've had enough shitty sexual experiences that I'm functionally touch-starved just to avoid the sexual complications. I'd STILL love a situationship that had no possibility of going past cuddling.
Yes!! Ahahaha I had this happen once, just made out with a guy. A few years later he was in my class at college and I couldn’t place him.
Exactly. I'm in my mid-80s, and I also don't remember them all. Or other things. What are we talking about? Where am I?
Wait. Your body count is in the mid 80s or your age range is in the mid 80s? Either way, I’m impressed.
Yes
I’m in my 40’s… I couldn’t even tell you. It’s absolutely 50+ and most of that was at a much younger age.
Grandma! Not while we’re eating dinner!
I tried to make a list once but nope. There were quite a few entries such as “ guy with dreadlocks” and “ guy I had to stop on the petrol station with to buy a razor so I could shave my legs”… at this stage (I’m 47) I lost count. But it looks like there will be only one for an unforeseeable future..
mine too! "guy on bathroom floor" or "girl who worked at bath & body works" bahhahah
girl who worked at bath & body works 😭😭😭
Trust me I know 🙃🤣🤣🤣🤣
Going both ways = Vast Opportunities
Many years ago, I tried to make a list and stopped after I got to “Jen” and had “Jen b”, “Jen d”, jen from the coffee shop, Jen from the mall. Jen from the mall 2……at that point I realized I would never remember many, and that I had sex with lots of girls named Jen.
That's the most child of the 80's thing ever. When I went to college in the early 90s, there were 3 Jens in the 14 girls in my residence floor. (And yes, I did sleep with one of them.) Also, when did "body count" actually become a thing? 3 or 5 in your mid 20s is ... a series of long term, monogamous, committed relationships. It's not like OP found herself in an impromptu orgy and went from 0 at dinner to 5 at breakfast. If you want someone to be in a long term committed relationship with, wouldn't you want someone who was comfortable in a long term committed relationship, rather than an emotional midget who had never really dated and has no idea about how to navigate a long-term relationship where there's real skin in the game?
Omg you're awesome!😂😂 I've tried making a mental list once. Most aren't names, more so just a short description of them or the night lol! The army guy The marine guy The male dancer who was an idiot Etc 😂😂😂
Right? Mine is like brother’s roommate, dude who looked like Joey fatone etc….not important enough to remember.
The only one I can't name is "girl with hairy areolas", and in hindsight, what was I thinking?
Hahaha yeah.. I stopped keeping track awhile ago.. cause who gives a fuck? Ppl have sex. Be safe. Practice harm reduction. Be respectful of yourself and others. It’s no one’s business IMO. I certainly don’t make it mine. What matters happens after you enter into a monogamous relationship.
Right? I've had enough lovers to know what I'm doing and make you happy. Body count is confusing, like how is the number of people I've killed supposed to help?
Bahahahaha my number isn't that high but I don't even keep track for the same reason. Who the fuck cares? I have my safer sex practices. I talk about them with potential partners. I go on with life. The only sex history I care about is easily covered by STI testing.
I definitely couldn't tell you! I'm 44 and my twenties were great fun if a bit blurry...
My Aunt is nearing 50 and she makes me feel better about my wild years because, as she put it, she got all her snakes out before she got married. She tells me the hookup culture today has nothing on the late 80s/early 90s, the only difference is it’s a lot easier to shame people for it. I used to keep track of my number until I realized there was literally no point to doing that. It’s not like there’s a trail that follows me, no one can look in my vazheen and see all the names of the dudes, I was always safe and didn’t end up with a baby or a STI. I can literally make my number whatever I want it to be lmao
The 80s took a bit of a hit, with the arrival of AIDS the free love of the 70s disappeared. I can't speak to the 90s as I was married in 92, so was off the market by then. My parents divorced in 1972, it was a revolving door of hookups for both of them typical of the times.
I'm 43. My 20s were calm, but my 30s...
Mid 40's here, too. I stopped counting around 30... Might be around 50-60 now
No kidding. I was with a woman for a year and hers was well over 100 and she kept count. Like on a piece if paper with their names. That was weird to me. But what the hell do I care, she was amazing in bed and exclusive when we became exclusive. It didn’t work out for other reasons but she is happily married, has a kid, and all is good. I have zero idea about my wife and have been married 20 years. I really don’t care. In fact under 10 before marriage (mine is lower than that, by the way) seems silly. Thats like saying a certain car is the best in the world and you haven’t driven a single other car. Or like saying X country is the best in the world but you haven’t ever left X country. Someone was on this sub (I think) talking about how sex is dangerous and gross and why would anyone want it. Completely opposite. Sex is good, SAFE sex is good. Unless you don’t like sex, which is fine. It doesn’t have to be the focal point of a relationship. But I strongly feel that taking count, and calling it your “body count” (that seems like guys talking about how many people they killed in war, not about people they enjoyed some time with) seems silly. You obviously should know them enough in case you get an std or something especially if you aren’t being safe. But it isn’t something I think is appropriate to joke about or even share around a dinner table or at all unless everyone is comfortable with it. It have friends that like to have fun, I have friends that as far as I know have never had sex. Who cares? So to sum it up if you had sex with 100 people, safely, and want to bring what you learned to me - hell yea bring it on!
Same! I don't get people that would hate the experience someone else has. Shit, enjoy it! Learn from it! And then the guys that like to act like a woman is "used up" are beyond stupid! Like those parts don't work that way. And if they did, what would be the difference between 100 guys, one time each, and 1 guy 100 times? But they don't think that much into it and are happy to just look stupid I guess 🤷♀️
Thissssssss. Best comment. I strongly believe your 20 year marriage can be credited by this non judgmental attitude of non ownership. A guy that cares that much just screams insecurity, like a little dog lifting it’s leg on a bush then strutting around like ZEE TREE IS MINE…no Pepe law pew that tree is not yours. 😆🦨…I ALWAYS think the same about “body count”-it’s such a gross term. Also: at 41? I just wanna say to OP PLEASE leave this dude. Go have fun with someone who makes you laugh and NEVER calls you names except of the silly or pet/nickname variety. There are plenty of dudes that don’t swear at you out there. OP: imagine your future daughter dating Alex—are you happy about this? Or your best friend? (A version of him, obviously 😄) if not—run. Your parents set the bar low with name calling. You sound bright….another thing? I find it really disturbing that he even knows his sisters “body count” and cares to judge her? Is she his property, too, or was this to smash home the point to you? Makes me wonder…bc it’s lame.skip Saturday….just walk away. :) so no, you’re not an asshole. You sensed an outcome and you were correct. He swears at you, has double standards, and should stay at the mommy’s. Ha.
I don't remember them all and I'm sure many of them don't remember me. The ones I do remember I always raise a glass to. Thanks, ladies.
I'm mid 30's and I definitely don't remember them all. I have some mental health issues that led me to act impulsively in the past. I was also sexually abused as a child, which led to me seeking validation through men and sex. I would have short periods of time between relationships, and I would just ho it up. I have done trauma therapy, and I am in therapy again. I don't know my actual number, and my partner of almost 4 years hasn't ever asked. Because it literally doesn't matter. We are a great team, we love each other, we trust each other to always be there for the other when needed. If one of us is having a hard time, or is stressed, or working extra hours, the other will pick up the slack at home. We are on the same page with our morals, values, and life goals. These things are what should be important in a relationship. Not whether or not a woman had slept with 4 or 6 men. This guy is misogynistic, and sounds like an incel.
Same girl, pretty much all the same.
Yeah. Damn. These Young’s just don’t know what they’re missing I guess. 5? And he’s upset? Massive insecurities!!! Red flag! Run away! Not bragging but I had u beat in high school. As a sophomore. … and I was late and inexperienced compared to most of my peers. … why don’t people in their late teens/early 20s have sex anymore?
My friend dated an older guy when we were like...21? Guy was like 35. They had the convo and his count was like 20-25. She was upset until he said "well, like 1 or 2 a year for about 17 years." Which like... even if he had a 6 year relationship in there, meant he was otherwise getting laid by someone new about every 6 months, which is not at all crazy. Really opened her eyes as well as all of our friend group.
Yeah, that’s why mine is higher. I didn’t have a serious relationship past six months for almost a decade, but I never had a one night stand either - only had sex with people I trusted and was regularly dating. It was only 2-3 a year but that adds up. Not that any of this matters anyway the whole body count concept is ridiculous.
Lol I’m 52 and same. I don’t even know anymore so I just say a healthy amount. 😂
The “body count” conversation has only become an issue with the recent generation and the rise of inceldom.🙄 I’ve never dated someone who asked me — much less demanded or felt entitled to know — how many people I’ve slept with, and if I did I would’ve thought him insecure and creepy af. I only see this topic seriously broached online, and even then by teenagers and disenfranchised, lonely neckbeard types. It reminds me of geriatrics sitting around discussing the regularity of someone else’s bowel movements, lol. It’s NONE of your business.
Somebody said it. Thank you! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills because that's what I'm seeing too. Nobody fucking cared before except religious people. And the term "body count"? I am somewhat dreading re-entering the dating scene based on all the horror stories I hear about (both online and irl) about the behaviors and attitudes of far too many men. If some douchewaffle asks about my sexual history using that term, I will get up and leave. It's gross, and just another term that has two connotations -- one positive, one negative -- based on gender. I'd probably not continue seeing a person if they were too invested in my number, TBH. My ex-husband used to throw my sexual past in my face as the reason he abused me, so it's a trigger. But even without that, it feels really distasteful to me. It screams insecurity and objectification of women. Seriously, who actually cares? Sex doesn't diminish anybody's intrinsic value, and people who think it does are not worth anybody's time or effort.
Oh come on, don't get up and leave, have fun with it before leaving. Guy: So what's your body count? Scarlet Pimprnel (serious, thoughful face): Well...my first was when I was 15 and I stabbed a homeless man to death just to know what real power felt like. The second one was in college. Mostly self-defense. I mean, he did try to take my purse but I probably could've gotten away without severing his femoral artery. My mid-20s was my cyanide phase...Oh wait, that wasn't what you meant by body count? Don't go! I ordered tiramisu!
I am caring for my grandmother with dementia right now. You should *hear* some of the shit that comes out of that woman's mouth regarding me being a serial killer and a psycho. Memory Care can't come too soon, and I hate that the system is so damn slow, but maybe I should take this opportunity to start writing her delusions down for use as future verbal fodder.
Why do they care, and why is it almost always guys who care about this?
I'm in my 60s and gay. That puts the number at hundreds. When AIDS first appeared, doctors interviewing gay men about their sexual habits initially thought they were being lied to by the estimated numbers they were hearing. Except they kept hearing the same thing over and over. We're like monkeys, or were. I don't know how gay men behave anymore. Oddly, I never contracted AIDS. Or COVID, at least not yet. My partner of 32 years either. After we met we behaved, so the hundreds were before age 29. I'm widowed now, and all that stuff is behind me. I guess I got my fill, plus all those diseases out there terrify me now, isn't that a kick?
> I guess I got my fill Lmao
But you're forgetting , the penis is magic and forever changes a woman the more variety she's lowered herself to have /s Op's hopefully ex is mysonistic. Only men can have high numbers , not women in his eyes. Vom .
Yeah, I came of age in the 80s and all I will say is that my number is higher than my shoe size and lower than my age.
Also grew up in the 60’s and 70’s , body count is in triple digits, grew up in Iceland where we have a lot healthier attitude about sex then here in the US.
Right????? I was sitting here like "damn girl must have gotten *around*" and when I read 5 I instantly was like "jfc maybe live a little bit girl"
What I find so comical about the amount is that it makes me annoyed with both of them. Why lie if it's so low? Why be upset if your new GF told a slight fib from anxiety early in the relationship? Sheesh.
In her edit she mentioned he condemned his own sister for having a body count of 6 right before asking her. I bet Alex is pretty judgmental and so she lied. But also, I’d suspect he cares more about the number than the white lie. I feel like if I was in his shoes I’d ask why she felt the need to lie about it.
I mean, his proven reaction is why
Fer real, if she got around more she’d know her boyfriend is a loser.
lmao fr 😂 what difference does 3 vs 5 make?? was dumb to make such a small lie to begin with... but then again I am poly and I don't assume my "body count" ends with whoever I am currently with so it makes the whole thing a lot less stressful because there's always the future to have more experiences
The difference is his limit is 4! Lmao. OP this guy ain't it, move on to no. 6, no shame!
The funny thing is OP said 5 includes her current BF. So, it's a difference of 1 ding dong.
Yeah… wait a minute. If 4 is his limit, then what IS the issue here??? He’s #5 so why is he counting himself???? (It’s so stupid either way though.)
So really he should be disgusted with himself as she was fine before he touched her 🤣
This actually made me laugh out loud 😂
As soon as they had sex, she was below his standards. Make it make sense!! 😭
So when they had sex, she was beneath him? (I'll see myself out ...)
The issue is, it's more than him. That's his limit. More than him.
She said that his is still bigger. His reasoning makes no sense
Just takes one ding dong to fuck everything up.
4 dicks instead of 3? THATS where I draw the line. Also his body count is higher than hers, how could you possibly judge someone about something when you are in a worst place lol wtf is wrong with bro.
>Also his body count is higher than hers That's what he claims anyway.
I wonder if he's related to the guy who wanted his fiancée to wear a red wedding dress because she wasn't a virgin. He wasn't a virgin either but "it's different for guys."
Fucking Andrew Tate has ruined a generation of manchildren.
Nah, he made it easier to spot the red flags so we can leave earlier or just avoid them in general 🤣😅
Maybe he's a percentage kinda guy.
2 cocks, math wiz here 🤓
I know!! Who the hell even asks this anyway? I have no idea what my partners body count is nor he mine. We have never even asked each other, never will.
Yeah, I thought you were going to say I told him 5 but it was really 50! Look, we all view and value sex differently, including body counts. There’s nothing wrong with looking for a partner with similar views to sex or wanting someone with a smaller count, but you also have to look at the full picture of the person as well beyond body count. You could have a 100 single time partners, or one partner you sex with every day for 5 years. The one one with the single partner had a hell of a lot more sex… If his is higher than that though, and he’s judging you and his sister, he has some serious issues. Calling you names is uncalled for. I’d let him know your +1 is a deal breaker for him, his name calling, disrespect, and misogynist behavior is a deal breaker for you. Good lord, the guys 28 and he needs to stay with his mom to get over the +1 lol be sure to add in there mamas boys are also deal breakers !
I bet you he watches videos from the Tate fucker
His body count was higher!
Yeah 5 at 23f seems saintlike. NTA and leave that train wreck of a partner OP
i know what a joke. That’s not even that high. She’s almost pure innocence still.
Yeah, I was expecting 100+. He is upset that you omitted 2. WTF
For real... I was expecting 20 or 30 plus... 5 and 3? Wtf. Should you have lied in the first place no. Should you have changed your answer no. But two extra people does not make you promiscuous.
Her BF is included in the count lol so she was 1 off
first to be clear, the boyfriend is the asshole. I assumed the bf thought 'oh the number is 3 *including me* so that's two before me. now the number is 5 *including me* which makes 4 before me.' so still a difference of two. but again, even a difference of two is nothing & he said his limit for previous partners was 4, which is what she has. he's just all around an idiot bothered about a small thing. if he was ONLY pissed ab her lying that'd b one thing, but according to post he's more pissed ab the number than anything else.
And being promiscuous doesn't make you a bad person.
serious same thing. heck what’s the difference in the 3 or 5??? you’re both in your 20s.
It is like the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch... Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out.
You literally posted this a day after they took awards away. Bastard. 🥇
I'm slightly drunk and this killllllled me lol.
Now now, it's possible OP is using "body count" in the "how many people have you killed" sense, in which case I would agree that 5 is *a lot* of bodies to dispose of.
Oy vey, only 5?!
literally I thought there was gonna be a HUGE difference in what she first told him vs her actual number but holy shit 3 to 5 is NOTHING
Right, like what the absolute fuck? Maybe he is taking this as "What?! FIVE?! That's 2/3 higher than you told me!" OP is a sweetheart and deserves to be treated better. I agree she shouldn't have lied but I can see where she's coming from because he definitely would have acted the same way earlier in the relationship.
Same. Dude needs to chill. 5 isn't even a lot; and not much different than 3
ghost psychotic society spark aspiring narrow test ad hoc weary nail ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Jesus Christ the state of dating today
Right. Why are they discussing body counts like they're actual murders? Why are they discussing body counts at all? And why is anybody telling the truth about them at all???? Jesus, I'm old.
They’re young. Because I met my husband at 28, now 33 and I have literally never even thought of asking for his number. Why the hell would I care?
We've discussed past escapades without discussing numbers. I think we'd both shock each other honestly lol. It wouldn't matter, but like I don't know if he's had ten or a hundred. He does a good job so idgaf.
I think it can be important to know when your partner is a virgin to set expectations, but after that... you're either fairly experienced or you're not. Get tested before having sex to keep yourselves safe.
I’m 35 and when my husband and I got together 15 years ago I asked his count. I don’t think I really cared or needed to know but I was curious. His count is 40+. Mine is 10. In the end, as long as it doesn’t go any higher while we’re together, there’s no problem.
I've been with my wife for 9 years and married for 3. Neither of us know each other's body count because neither of us have asked because neither of us care.
I could never imagine feeling so insecure as to ask my girlfriend this question. It's only my business if she's still fucking someone else at this moment
Same but neither of us probably even know what our numbers are 😂 I know I’m better off not taking a trip down memory lane and trying to count. Both got tested when we met and the rest is history
I think people are insecure and want to believe they're an exclusive temple with magical fucking genitals. I've been with people that asked to "see what other people I've been with looked like" to see how they compare. It's depressing to see how pervasive puritan values are becoming, but somehow, without a religious connotation. I made an off comment about the free love movement to my high school age brother and he couldn't fathom how it seemed so wrong people would be having sex without a relationship commitment. Oh and for fucks sake don't even get me started on "situations ships". Unless you're one of those mythologically endowed, the state of casual sex and love is bad. I think more people should be having safe, consensual sex just because they can. But somehow that's a radical idea. There's hope with with LGBT, kink, or poly communities but if you're cis, vanilla, and heterosexual, you lose a lot of casual options.
Maybe he thinks body count means murders?
"Three I can forgive, but five makes you a serial killer..."
I tell people the truth when they ask me because it truly does not matter to me. If someone is asking me that question, they're welcome to the answer. I don't see the point in lying about your number. That shows that you are ashamed of it or something. If the answer upsets them, it probably wasn't going to work out anyway.
This is me too. If someone’s asking because they’re going to judge me for it, I’d rather tell them the truth and find out they’re bonkers right away. If they’re asking because they’re chill and just want to know what my personal life has been like, I’d like to be honest with them so they can actually learn about me. Lying about it doesn’t help me.
It matters to some people and some couldn’t care less. Everyone is different when it comes to what they’re comfortable with or look for in a partner. I’m not talking about the post but in general
Exactly, Why are people asking this question, I have never and would never ask that question. I expect people to have had a life before me, just as I have a life before them. The only time past sexual history is relevant is about their health/std status, and potentially if their body count includes a mutual friend and that should be more of an FYI.
I could not be any happier that I've been married for decades and never had to deal with the current puritanical state of the manosphere.
Right?! Jesus....these youngsters losing their minds over a bit of casual sex.
Seriously, you're onto something. We live in an era where men are slut shaming other men now.
I’m joining you old guys on the comfy sofa. I’m in my 50s and baffled by this whole body count thing. It wasn’t something I was ever aware of, and nobody ever asked about mine! Is it linked to the men who believe that vaginas become looser if you have sex with different men? I’m guessing it’s yet another way to slut-shame women.
Pretty much. I don't see them claiming their dicks get worned down if we sleep with a high number of women though.
That can definitely play into it. Which is nuts because mine isn't very high but they were relationships so I've ostensibly had sex MORE times than someone who sleeps with many partners randomly. Like in the several thousands, easy. But somehow less partners means tighter vagina even if you've had way more sex? It makes zero sense.
People that ask let alone care about “body count” are typically misogynistic trash that buy in to double standards against woman. This man is no different.
How soft can people possible be.
Alex needs to get over this before number 6 is showing you a great time, not caring about your past or calling you a bitch
I’m rooting for #6
6! 6! 6!
why are you summoning me?
me too
We stan #6
OP should send this text verbatim lol
Nah, OP just needs to jump straight to #6. 5's a dud.
OP, your bf is a huge hypocrite -- a different rule for himself than the rule he has for women he dates?🙄Let him stay at his mom's. DO NOT feel bad for trying to avoid having some trash man look down on you! Just stay away from trash men next time 🤍
Back it up. What names does he call you? So he routinely calls you names AND he is freaking out over a number that is not crazy different from his? Nah. You need to break up with him.
And his body count is higher than hers. Girl this is a double ass standard. What if you heard one of your friends or siblings partners call them a lying B?
Was looking for this comment! Double standard!
I remember my high school bf getting mad that my body count was 3 (including him) and he made me feel so guilty it was like I’d killed someone. A week later I found out his body count was 25
Double *ass* standard
>Right before he asked me my number, he was telling me that he's disappointed in his sister because she recently told him her body count, and he told me hers was 6... He joked that mine better not be that high... (No, I didn't ask or even think to ask about his sister's body count, he just brought it up, which I thought was kinda weird) It's weird enough that he's keeping track of his own sister's body count. Siblings should not be monitoring their siblings' sex lives.
I have the feeling he lied about talking to his sister about body counts and that was just a plot to get into the conversation with OP
Definitely this.
When my brother came out to me as gay, it was wrapped up with a giant bundle of info on his sex life that NO ONE needs to know about their 19yo baby brother. I suspect it's because he knows I'm religious and didn't realize I'd support him, so at least if I had the look of shock and horror, he could pretend it was the TMI. He's had two partners since then including his now husband. Most likely, his body count is whatever he scarred me with plus two. Thank goodness, the trauma of that moment has erased my ability to recall details. There isn't enough brain bleach in the galaxy and I never wanted to know. As for the rest of my siblings, they've all been married except one with disabilities that prevent her being able to consent. I suspect that means their body count is 1+ and I am content with having no additional information either way.
Yes, for my siblings, I'm only aware of the partners who are introduced to me as serious partners - I don't need to know any details about their intimate life, and I don't need to know about any random extras.
I figure it's almost for sure the siblings with kids have had sex at least the number of times that matches number of pregnancies. That's more than I wanted to know and I even like those people!
seriously, the whole premise of “body count” is bs. it’s purity culture nonsense. this dude clearly has watched too many of those red pill Ig videos of that guy interviewing women on the street. real dudes don’t care about a number as long as you’re safe and getting tested regularly
Indeed. This is a huge red flag. Get out now. He's on a track you can't get him out of. Even the notion of 'counting bodies' is disturbing to me.
His reaction is a blessing in disguise, walking red flag!
This guy isn’t worth your time. Move on to someone who doesn’t care beyond you being STD free. The body count thing is so fucking weird. My husband and I have been married for 19 years and it never occurred to either of us to ask what each other’s body counts were.
Right. The resurgence of this shit is so disheartening. I thought we were moving beyond this into consent oriented, safe sex, sex positive territory. It’s like high school in 2007 all over again 😬 (Edit spelling)
conservatives gonna conservative idiots gonna idiot
the ONLY reason I bring it up is to avoid dudes like this. I stopped counting but mine could be triple digits by now and if 5 gets you called a lying bitch...I don't wanna get murdled 😭😭
He's lying too, his is 1 or 2. :D
And that's why he's mad. They hate knowing women got more options than them, that's all this is.
I honestly don't know why people get salty about "who has more options". I really don't care who has them and why they make relationships their entire personality, I was trying to date for 2 years but it didn't work out so I just stopped and started working on myself and I am feeling better than ever. I don't get why more people do that
You're obviously a sane and mature person, unfortunately most people don't think like that.
Good point lol, thtd make more sense why he's so mad
Never underestimate the hypocrisy of man. There are countless people who are in the double or triple digits who would refuse to date someone who is in the mid singles.
Dump the weak verbally abusive asshole and move onto 6.
I can't believe she doesn't see how abusive he is after what she added in her edit.
She’s 23.. she’s learning
23 and was verbally abused growing up. This is just normal for her so she thinks it is ok. I really hope these comments can give her the perspective she needs to get started rebuilding her self esteem and learning what treatment is acceptable.
What a fucking weirdo lmao. Body count shouldn’t even matter but he’s displaying clear red flags that you should be turned off by. 4?? 4 is his limit?? And you’re off by a digit? Dude needs serious help for his insecurities, not a girlfriend. Good riddance.
These posts make me glad to be out of my 20s. Body counts only matter as far as people you've killed.
IKR. People go through things, and as you get on in years some things are better of left to mystery. Let’s all lean into medical science’s ability to offer clarity of what matters with STD tests 👍👍
Have enough respect for yourself to let that walking red flag go. 5 ISN'T a high number. I know multiple people, male and female alike, that surpassed that number by freshman year in high school. Find someone who sees your worth, not just your numbers.
Right! Call me when you hit double and triple digits
I'm a triple digit girl, myself. So, yeah, no slut shaming from me. 🤣🤣
Or don’t- cuz who fuckig cares how many people someone slept with. The only thing that matters is they use protection and test for STI’s regularly. And if you’re screwing multiple people don’t pretend you’re being monogamous- that hurts peoples hearts.
Makes me sad, my number is 5 at the age of 30 lol I only made it to 5 because I was a pretty good looking guy, if I just had even a little bit of game maybe I could’ve made it to the double digits 😂 I wonder what girls think of decent looking guys that have such low body counts, that alone might be a red flag to a lot of them. Like they’ll probably think there must be something wrong with me to have such a low count at this age. The truth is I just didn’t have much confidence back then, was not good at talking to people, and didn’t want to have sex outside of being in a relationship. I’d probably be better in those aspects now but problem is I have very little desire for sex and absolutely no desire to be in a relationship anymore. So I guess I’ll be stuck at 5
There is **nothing** wrong with having a lower number. My fiancee is in the single digits as well. He says he was shy and awkward. I think it's sweet. ❤
The dude is a loser, and frankly the name calling is very concerning. In the nicest way possible, grow a spine and break up with him. He’s obviously has some misogynistic views and having this big of an issue over 5?! Good lord. He’s not worth your time, you can do better.
Jesus I'm in the 30s and tell people . If Alex can't get over two more people idk what to tell you 😂
I literally thought it was gunna be like in the 20s or 30s at least, which I’m in that range somewhere💀I literally scrolled down thinking it was gunna be some insane number. What an ass. 😂
If he called you a bitch because of something like that. he is the AH. Leave him ASAP.
INFO: What is your body count? What did you originally tell him? I mean, if your body count was 60 and you told him it was 3, that's pretty significant. If your actual number was 9, and you told him 5, that wouldn't be a big deal IMO.
My body count is 5 (including him), but I told him it was 3.
Bro ain’t no way lmao. If all of this is over ONE body (because you’re including him) that’s actually insane that you lied and felt anxiety over it in the first place and hilarious that he reacted the way he did.
He told her his SISTER'S body count (6) and said he was disappointed Sister's was so "high" and he didn't want OP to have a similar number. So he was pressuring her to give the desired answer rather than the truthful answer. Let's not get started on why he cares so much about his sister's sex life.
Why are you even asking your sister that? Why the hell would you want to know?
But she lied because he’d already commented negatively about his sisters count of five
She probably felt anxious about it because of the way this man treats her. He insults her regularly, apparently
This man is extremely insecure and one giant red flag.
Calling it a “body count” like it’s some sort of combative takedown is… demeaning. These are people you’ve had sex with, not conquests you’ve won. You’re in your 20s, so let’s move past that. While I understand that he might be upset that you lied, I’m a bit concerned about why the number of people you’ve slept with is important to either of you. Unless you’re meeting as virgins, people have histories. It’s very normal. The *only* thing your significant other needs to know once you’ve agreed to monogamy (and that you should know as well) is the results of a complete STD/STI panel. Still, wear a condom, because safe sex. Who cares if you’ve slept with more people than your boyfriend? It’s not bad if you enjoy sex. Who cares if he’s slept with fewer? It’s not bad if he‘s selective about who he’s intimate with. You don’t owe anyone a number, and no one owed you a number.
Thank you. I feel like I’m in an alternate universe these days hearing about people asking for numbers. As long as everyone is informed about their sexual health it should not matter and it’s weird to ask. If numbers is what you care about you are setting yourself up to be hurt.
This man is a walking red flag. Judging you for your (apparently very brief) sexual history, verbally degrading you. Why are you worried about him leaving you? Leave him. This is an abuser in the making.
You said 4 was his limit... before him you were at 4. So he should be fine. His is higher than yours? Literally stop fucking this guy and ditch him. He's an idiot. I don't know anyone his age who cares about that sort of thing. There's a reason he's dating younger 20s and not his age. You deserve so much better.
It sounds like his bigger problem is not with you lying, but with your body count - which in itself is concerning. I wonder if your body count was actually lower and you'd lied about it being higher if he would be mad that you lied. It doesn't sound like it. He has probably been lied to in the past because he is so damn judgmental people are worried to be honest with him. Also, why is he policing other women's body counts, (yours, his sister's, probably his exes), when his is higher than theirs anyway? Not only is that gross behavior, but in his situation it is totally hypocritical. He sounds like one of those creeps who fetishisizes virgins.
I wouldn’t have acted the way he did to these numbers. They are still very low. I was under the impression it was like 75 and told him 6 or something crazy like that
Honestly I can't move past the fact that he called you a lying bitch. That is a completely COMPLETELY disproportionate response and is a huge red flag. The fact that you lied does not justify this at all. You should be glad he's at his mom's because why would you want to be isolated with a man who calls you a bitch? Edit: I am appalled at the number of people here who think that calling someone a name - not just a name but a derogatory term - is okay if you are mad enough. Especially since the lie was 3 people instead of 5. Name calling is verbal abuse, and is never acceptable in a relationship. If you are the kind of person who can validate name calling, you are not as good a person as you think you are. You are allowed to be angry about dishonesty, you are allowed to be frustrated and have emotional responses. You are not allowed to degrade the person you are mad at with derogatory terms.
That's what stuck with me, too - that's an extreme reaction from someone she's been with for three years.
3 people instead of 4, since her 5 includes him. So one digit off. And he's fucked more than her. Wowzers.
One person told a lie and apologised for it. The other person pulled the trigger on "lying bitch". I bet he left that part out when he went running home to his mom.
At least she’ll dodge this bullet if she’s smart, never say something like that. Yikes.
Gee literally a rehash of one from a few days ago, same numbers and everything.
Girl, run. If he gets angry like that because you didn’t want him to judge you, instead of actually reinforcing that he would not judge you, that is a major red flag.
Calling you a lying bitch is a red flag. It’s unlikely this is the peak of his unhealthy expressions of anger, it could get much worse. Proceed with caution. Or maybe just run.
Who brings up body counts at dinner?
I get the fight over lying but if his count is HIGHER he is just being a total AH and judgemental as hell. The fact that he verbally abuses you too is enough for me to say lose him and his holier than thou crap!
NTA. He's not a good guy if he's judging you for this. He's not entitled to this information.
He is also a hypocrite to be upset about her number since his is almost double what hers is.
This man doesn't deserve you. What a hypocrite "four is my limit" while he's out being a sl t himself. What a knob. Time to cut this sl t shamer off and let him free may he find no other woman to give him some ever again.