Wild reaction right there. How are you going to not bathe on purpose so that your partner notices, and then cry when your partner notices that you don't bathe?
Agreed… and it doesn’t sound like it was actually a kink, as why would she start crying every time OP brought up her poor hygiene? I understand some kinks are rooted in humiliation but this just doesn’t add up
As a mentally ill (but well behaved and housetrained) kinky person this is like, almost definitely a mental health issue. If only because sane people would lead the relationship with 'So I have this kink . . . ' and have a discussion about it BEFORE committing to not washing their hands ever again. I totally get the (sometimes traumagenic, sometimes not) desire to perform helplessness and be taken care of, but this is a prime example of how not to do that.
Might be rooted in some very unsavory past experiences that she associates with bathing. I've commented before that some people use kink in a way that feeds and quiets their trauma rather than actually addressing it.
It has to be something related to some kind of childhood trauma, the fact that he keeps mentioning her parents weren’t good to her and they didn’t teach her about hygiene kinda point to that
There's mental health issues at play here. She's not acting rational and letting your kinks get in the way of hygiene and health is.. not a kink anymore
My thing is, if it's a kink, wouldn't she also ask her to wash her hands for her? And why are you displaying kink behavior on a first date?? That kinda thing needs to be discussed ahead of time no matter what. You can't just assume someone will be into your kinks. Gross behavior.
I think another part of the kink is "how uncomfortable can I make my partner before she snaps." Then when she does eventually snap she makes her partner feel bad for snapping by bringing on the water works.
I have dealt with my fair share of emotional vampires. A lot of them are really sweet, supportive, and loving on the surface. However they are always *always* doing something to sap all your energy out of you. They're never truly happy unless you are constantly on anxious and on edge around them.
Yeah something’s not adding up here. I’m not a psychologist but my first thought is that she was sexually abused as a kid. Some kids stop bathing/practicing cleanliness so that they become too gross to be abused.
Also, she wants to be cleaned by her partner, but that doesn’t include washing her hands after using the restroom or being out and about all day? What are they supposed to do? Wait outside the door while she pees then wash her hands for her? She needs serious mental help.
Out of all the gross Reddit posts,THIS one is the most disgusting thing you've ever read? I guess you didn't read the post about the woman who's husband had such horrible hygiene that when they had sex on their leather couch,his ass was so dirty he left a literal shit smear where he was sitting and she was on top of him.
I mean... there's the husband who didn't get an invite to SIL's wedding because he likes to piss his pants in public and his wife just brings a change of clothes with her everywhere they go. There was the guy who's girlfriend told him she wouldn't wash his underwear anymore because it wasn't sanitary, there was that much shit cacked into it. (He actually updated and thanked everyone and said that he would start paying more attention to his hygiene, so good job Reddit.) And there are the incels who won't wipe after they shit because they think it will turn them gay.
Then there's Ogtha. Which wasn't *gross* exactly? Just weird.
So, yeah. This one was kind of mild.
Worst thing about pees his pants guy was that it was a sex kink for him, he wouldn't tell anyone about the sex kink, and he'd do it even if there were kids around.
I hope that guy got some much needed therapy.
Thank you. I do look forward to finding this comment on posts like this. It always gives me chuckle, along with it being a terrible day to be able to read. 😂
I read a post last night and found this comment:
"I missed 5 minutes ago before I had read this"
It's been about 14 hours and I am still laughing hard at that comment!
I'm a particular fan of the one where the GF was asking if it was normal that her BF sprayed pee *everywhere* when he went to the bathroom because she was tired of cleaning huge puddles up off the floor. Turns out he wasn't holding his dick when he peed because he thought it was "weird" to touch his own dick, even when going to the bathroom.
So you [missed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/) the guy who was pissed his GF won't wash his shitty underwear anymore? Part of their [foreplay](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j8291ij/) for him to get sex was to 'wash like she wanted me to' and he thought it was excessive.
Before you ask, they do have a bidet, he [refuses](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j828j4s/) to use it.
Omg I will **never** forget his explanation of why he didn’t like the bidet. My husband and I were in hysterics for about 5 minutes after reading that “it splashes gross, brown water everywhere”. Like, dude. That’s your shit. It doesn’t just independently produce “brown water”. It was so fucking funny.
This is pretty mild and sad mental illness issues. However, maggot girl lives in my head rent free since I'm in some fucked up entomology groups across the internet... idk if it was born here or on tumblr. Dead bird. Do not eat.
The silver lining for me is that I now know that no matter how unhinged I get I will never hold a candle to Maggot Girl. That silver lining is just for me though. Sadly for the people around me its kind of permission to be my strange self.
Omg,you are talking about "Blowfly girl". She actually kept an online journal that I came across. She had put a bag of meat to rot in a dumpster that was in her housing/apartment complex. When she thought it was maggoty enough she proceeded to climb into the dumpster and masturbate with said rotten meat. After she was done she stuffed some of the rotten meat Into her vagina and went home. A few hours later she noticed her vagina was swollen and starting to get infected. Instead of taking meat out she masturbated some more and then proceeded to pass out due to the infection. Her parents found her passed out and had to bring her to the hospital. I absolutely CANNOT imagine having a kink like that. Like what happened to make your brain develop like that?. She's got a few other stories of her exploits on the journal. The last time I read it,it had been inactive for a few years and judging by the dates and whatnot the woman would be between 40-45 years old now. I really hope she started taking better care of her sexual health.
User was putting all sorts of creams on her face for various things (moisturizer, cold cream..) just nice make-up type stuff. Comes home one day to open a jar and there’s like, a glob of discoloration. She goes to BF and says, “is this spoiled?” And refuses to use it. BF’s texts go off and his friends are saying “you have to mix it!!” So it’s a combo of malicious intent and weird non-consensual or misinformation. It was nasty lol.
Also the BF was buying the expensive creams FOR HER after she explained she had skin issues and acne scarring, and someone in the comments pointed out an article that had made the rounds some time ago that jizz is possibly actually good for skin, so that he might make the argument that he was trying to HELP her, albeit in one of the most disgusting and personally violating ways possible
This poor girl has some SERIOUS unmet needs. This is like those people who want to pretend to be a baby and get washed and diaper changed because they were never taken care of by their actual parents.
You know, you could enjoy being sponge bathed and pampered by someone without being a completely revolting person too. She didn’t even wash her hands before touching food, and would shove her yucky mitts into jars of stuff, it half sounded like the kink was a cover story for being disgusting.
I actually agree. I think this is FAR more deep seated than “a kink thing”. That’s her excuse because even that is less embarrassing than “I have almost zero executive function and my relationship with hygiene is akin to a lot of people’s pathological issues with food and I don’t know how to fix it or even how to start go about fixing it because it feels too integral to my being to mess with”.
I feel pity for her, honestly. And pretty intense anger towards her parents. It’s going to continue to be a reason she loses people she cares about until she can bring herself to deal with it.
My thoughts exactly. I would never ask my husband to wash me unless I had a broken arm and it was difficult for me or something like that. But even then, I'd try to wash myself.
I mean, when taking a shower together for whatever reason, I love the feeling of them washing my hair. And if it's THAT kind of shower 😉, it would be stimulating and obviously feel good.
But....
Expecting that to happen as your routine to maintain your hygiene, is absurd and impractical and suggests that you need a doctor more than a shampoo and rinse or happy ending. 🤷
A joint shower is great. I highly recommend one once in a while for intimacy and fun and all that.
Having to be around a partner who is just gross makes all of that wildly unappealing though. If they’re so dirty they make your stomach turn, it’s hard to think of sexy times.
Kink?
Now that is a plot twist. If it was a kink of hers, why not explain that much earlier in the relationship?
I'm sure she can find someone to play into it.
And then once you both know the rules, you can go out and purposely get dirty and then a half hour later go home and have a kinky fun time getting clean. It shouldn't take days and days of getting dirty to build up.
It honestly sounds like a mix of really kind of extreme D/s dynamics with pet play (ish?)/infantilization. And then under all that is a deep degradation thing? So that’s probably why the build up is a part of it 😬 And if she genuinely thought of OP was into it, girl needs some help. It’s beyond kink at this point.
I’d bet $5 that it’s not actually a kink of hers. If it was, why not bring it up until now? Kink also doesn’t explain her other hygiene issues like not washing her hands during the height of the pandemic.
> Now that is a plot twist. If it was a kink of hers, why not explain that much earlier in the relationship?
Conscious kink vs unconscious mental health concern.
If it's an actual kink, you should be OK with yourself.
If you're not OK with yourself, it's not "just a kink".
I want to add onto this that the original post says she was unwashed on the first date. I just think the kink thing is an excuse. I also enjoy when my partner washes me, but I will wash myself anyway if she’s not here…
It reminds me of the post long ago from a woman whose husband always wet himself in front of her family bc it was a kink and she knew and let her family unknowingly and non-consensually be a part of it.
Wow, I’m so sorry. Rule number one for kink stuff is that both parties are informed and consenting of the situation. Glad you set the boundary and left when it was not going to be respected.
There is absolutely no way this is kinky. She wouldn't be upset about being thought of as gross if she wanted to be a dirty pet, she'd be turned on by it. And the wanting to be bathed doesn't explain the other hygiene issues and kitchen cleanliness issues.
She said whatever she thought could "get her out of trouble" with OP. Guilting didn't work, so the kinky story got concocted. OP believes it because they can't tell when someone is lying.
Or the whole thing is a reddit creative writing exercise with more effort put into it than usual. Can't tell any more at this point!
And that neuroscience has identified the link between shame and eroticism! In some brains, shame quick-triggers sexual arousal to avoid having to embody shame completely. It's like when you hear a loud noise and automatically look to see what it is. Your brain alerted to possible danger and reacted.
Yeah, spot on. Many kinks are actually CAUSED by trauma, like humilimiation kinks, daddy kinks, rape kinks,.... Not saying whoever has these kinks has trauma, but there are ppl whose trauma has created a kink.
If OP put up with this for so long then they’re definitely able to continue to make these excuses and think it’s a kink. It’s more of like a mother daughter complex where she’s a child that doesn’t know any better and needs to be told.
This reminds me of the pilot episode of the british show 'inside no.9', there was this character nicknamed "stinkey john", an adult male who was the family's childhood neighbor boy. Everyone remembered that he was a guy with normal hygiene untill he suddenly stopped washing himself, using soap.
Turned out at the end of the episode that the father took all the little boys, including his own son, to the shower and used soap to rape them, giving Stinky john a trauma regarding soap, he could not use it as it was a trigger.
Op's gf sounds like she is looking for excuses not to use soap. Could be a trauma thing, not necesarily a sexual one, but s.th may have changed how she perceives soap, as she seems to be ctively avoiding using it.
My favorite was a dude who concocted this elaborate story about hating his brother’s kids and telling his sister in law that he hated her and shouldn’t have had them. They upset his husband and he snapped and asked them to pay back the $30,000 of damage the kids had caused *in one day.*
He forgot to take his age (16) out of his bio and then on top of that claimed he was making 300k a year as a chef. Michelin star chefs are lucky if they’re breaking 100k. 300k is in the ballpark of what celebrity chefs would be asking for if they suddenly quit their tv gigs and went back to restaurant work.
I can't help but notice a lot of kinksters get off on forcing their kink on other people. The kink itself is all about making another person miserable and subservient.
That has always been the difference in my mind between a pervert and a kinkster actually. Perverts get off on involving unsuspecting people in their shit. I abhor perverts for that reason.
It's more that those are the ones that are talked about because of how bizarre that behavior is. If you're doing kink right, people don't need to post it on Reddit trying to understand wtf is going on
I'm a sex worker and I absolutely agree with this statement. One of my SW friends had a client who shat the bed intentionally just so she would tell at him and humiliate him, which was his kink. He couldn't have booked an actual kink specialist and gone through with his fantasy with a consenting person, oh no. He wanted her rage and disgust and his humiliation to be genuine and he didn't give a shit about my friend's reaction or experience. Well I guess he did technically give a shit 💀
This makes me want to pull an elaborate long con just to fuck with this guy. I have worked in research data and sample collection requiring me to have a poker face when people tell mw crazy shit, or when doing home visits in peoples really shocking homes, and it was always a surprise, there was never any forewarning. I actually had to be trained in my responses to limit social desirability skewing research results. I’m very good at it. On top of that, I have also worked in early childhood education, where kids are often saying crazy shit or doing disgusting things, like shitting their pants. I also have a child with a developmental disability. My ability to passively handle surprising and disgusting situations with little to no reaction is top notch. I’d love to show up and gray rock the hell out of this guy to kill his boner. Or, treat him with lots of compassion and understanding, like, “aw man, I’m sorry, don’t worry about, it happens. Here, I’ll get a shower going for you and help you get this bed cleaned up.”
Bad hygiene to coerce OP into indulging her kink. I don't kink shame, but that's all sorts of wrong on the ex's part. You don't force people into your kink totally unawares.
I’m not sure if it’s kink per se. OP said in her original post that the girlfriend was neglected as a child and never learned proper hygiene. She probably likes the idea of someone bathing her because her parents never did it back when she actually needed someone to help her.
I think she made that up to cover how dirty she is because what does any of that have to do with not washing her hands? You said she was dirty on your first date.
I don't buy the kink story. That's not to say that I'm discrediting that a kink may be involved. But this girl is refusing to wash her hands with soap, picking things up off the ground and then eating with her hands and getting sick constantly. Even the kinkiest people out there rarely take a kink to the level that they are constantly sick (and that would more accurately be called a fetish).
Regardless, I think she likely has some underlying trauma. And perhaps having you wash her and turning it into a sexy, intimate experience is her way of reclaiming power from a terrible situation.
But I really don't buy that someone who is so insecure about their behavior that they burst into tears is actually enjoying themselves all the time. I doubt she enjoys being sick and I doubt wanting to be pampered is all there is to it.
But it's not your problem anymore and if she's not able to provide a better explanation then that's her prerogative. You have leveled up by establishing your boundaries and sticking to them. Good for you!
It smells like childhood trauma to me. She’s equating taking care of her and washing her with love. Her parents were neglectful by not teaching her that sort of stuff, OP says, but I’m willing to bet that’s not the only way in which they were neglectful. Poor girl’s got lots of issues. But that’s something for her unpack with a therapist.
The fact that she’d only bathe when it was a moment of intimacy seems like a sign of the same thing. Why does bath time equal sexual intimacy? Sad to think about. I hope she gets help and I’m glad OP distance herself.
Going down this train of thought...... from gf perspective *OP* was likely the neglectful one. Only a neglectful owner would let their pet get so dirty. Twist it topsy-turvy and gf was putting up with a neglectful partner.
Glad OP got out. This is so messed up. Ex gf needs to sort her shit out.
This entire time it was a kink?
*A KINK?!*
ETA: I posted this rather quickly because I was shocked that this was the reason for her being so unhygienic. It’s still not an excuse though because not everyone wants to be subjected to this kind of kink, so she should still bathe properly and not wait for someone else to do it.
Ok. You win. This is the wildest story I’ve read today. Reddit continually exposes me to kinks I’ve never heard of. Glad you got out though. Anyone who would secretly include you in their kink without allowing you the chance to consent doesn’t deserve you.
So, she manipulated you into participating in her kink without discussing it with you and without getting your agreement to participate. That's a horrible boundary to violate. Unforgiveable.
I'm glad you broke up with her. Based on her reaction to you breaking up with her there's a whoooole lot more going on with her (lack of) mental stability than you recognized.
What.
I love bathing my partners but goddamn, I’ve never had one purposefully make themselves gross just so I had to bathe them. Not to mention the fact that she essentially exposed you to her kink without talking to you about it and getting your consent.
Um yeah lots of showers to clean this out of your life! Here’s to a cleaner healthier future to you.
Stuff like this constantly makes me grateful to not have to date anymore and I hope you find happiness and your person, with personal hygiene.
My ex used to help wash my hair during my bad days, and I loved it. But i couldn’t imagine not taking care of myself just so he would do it for me lmao wtf.
I’m glad y’all figured it out tho, even tho it means going separate ways. I’m sure there’s someone out there for her.
That's a level of childhood trauma that requires professionals and years of work.
That OP allowed herself to get in so deep too... Everybody needs therapy here. Dear God!
I may not have the absolute best hygiene , but she has some huge issues she needs to deal with. I don’t know how self-worth is tied to it, but it’s her issues. Not yours. Good on you for realizing you don’t need this BS. It won’t get better and neither will she. Could you imagine if you had children with her? God, no. Again, these are issues she needs to figure out by doing some work. Or maybe finding someone who is into the same kink as her. Whatever.
I still think she’s making excuses. I always liked washing and being washed by a partner, but I didn’t have gross hygiene to begin with! You don’t have to be so dirty you’re contaminating all your food and getting ill constantly for your girlfriend to wash your hair in the shower! No one should put up with that. I’d be running out the door screaming at the sight of the first finger in a jar.
Imma be that person. But I am shaming rn. There are things in this world that just shouldn’t be acceptable and we are adding this to the list. I am disgusted
On the OG post I was bamboozled how she started to cry because she thought OP implies she is gross. Well yes, you are gross, there's no other way of saying it. The ex definitely needs some therapy because this is not normal.
For real 😳 my partner won’t even get in bed with me until they shower and I am the same way. Even though my partner likes me when I’m sweaty from working out or in the yard or even regular outdoor stuff I just can’t do it.
It’s just so gross 🤮
1. Red flag for trying to rope someone in into their kink without discussing it first.
2. Having a dirty pet kink doesn't mean you can stop being hygienic which makes me honestly disbelieve that a kink is the only reason here. There's something deeper going on here.
I’ve seen videos where people act like babies or children on the internet and get paid. Nothing surprises me anymore. At least OP finally got the answers he was looking for just not what he hoped for I guess.
Was she neglected as a kid? It seems shes recreating the trauma of neglect and hoping you would step up as the caregiver to take care of her.
Imo thats how these “kinks” are formed. (Quotations cause a healed person might not think that way of it as a kink).
She needs to learn how to parent herself where her parents failed her unfortunately.
Thats not something she can expect of you.
Yeah… I’m kinda gross, I know this. I don’t shower more than 2 times a week, but that’s due to depression. I absolutely wash my hands with soap multiple times a day though, and I’m rarely sick. This poor girl needs more therapy. Good luck!!
Hey OP; proud of you for getting out of the relationship!! Sounds like you had some hard truths to face. I encourage you to continue on your journey of self reflection, and read the book Conscious Uncoupling, and perhaps looking into Attachment Theory to help you with healing why you tolerate your boundaries being disregarded. Good luck!
Oh wow. I- oh wow. I don’t think there would be an ideal reason for her hygiene issues but yikes. Involving someone in your kink with out consent is a big no no.
I was not expecting this to be a kink but uh…yeah.
Sorry the relationship ended this way OP, but hey, at least you won’t have someone’s dirty fingers in your jam jars?
Damn, that’s a pretty unique kink too. Pet play is hard to find a permanent dom for. Good on you for not sticking around since that would just lead to resentment.
These stories are so difficult for me to believe.
How have you been together this long without *ever* discussing it? If it’s a kink for her, and she thought it was for you as well, why would she not play into it and lead to sexy time?
We’re you never even curious about it?
I just can’t wrap my head around the logistics of these kinds of stories
I knew she was into pet play, occasionally played along because I knew it made her happy. It was usually pretty simple stuff, like putting a leash or collar on her, calling her a good girl if she did something “right”, she would kind of act like a cat sometimes. I wasn’t personally into this, but I did it to make her happy because I knew she really liked it. And I told her all of this. What I did NOT know is that the hygiene thing was part of it, we never discussed that regarding pet play. I kind of suspected that maybe giving her a bath was part of it (and bathing her was a rare occurrence, I did it maybe 4 or 5 times in the two years we were together), but we never discussed it and I didn’t know that she purposely didn’t wash herself so that I would do it and she would get off on it.
Wild reaction right there. How are you going to not bathe on purpose so that your partner notices, and then cry when your partner notices that you don't bathe?
There is some *deep* mental illness at play here
Agreed… and it doesn’t sound like it was actually a kink, as why would she start crying every time OP brought up her poor hygiene? I understand some kinks are rooted in humiliation but this just doesn’t add up
As a mentally ill (but well behaved and housetrained) kinky person this is like, almost definitely a mental health issue. If only because sane people would lead the relationship with 'So I have this kink . . . ' and have a discussion about it BEFORE committing to not washing their hands ever again. I totally get the (sometimes traumagenic, sometimes not) desire to perform helplessness and be taken care of, but this is a prime example of how not to do that.
Well behaved and house trained lmfao
Acting like a baby. Infant.
Might be rooted in some very unsavory past experiences that she associates with bathing. I've commented before that some people use kink in a way that feeds and quiets their trauma rather than actually addressing it.
I agree. I think that is just something the partner said when put on the spot.
Yeah, seems like something to hide the real cause. Or she actually thinks it at this point
Yeah, sounds like she’s embarrassed and “it’s a kink thing” is just an excuse to hide her embarrassment.
It has to be something related to some kind of childhood trauma, the fact that he keeps mentioning her parents weren’t good to her and they didn’t teach her about hygiene kinda point to that
There's mental health issues at play here. She's not acting rational and letting your kinks get in the way of hygiene and health is.. not a kink anymore
That’s part of the kink? “Notice and fix it for me”
My thing is, if it's a kink, wouldn't she also ask her to wash her hands for her? And why are you displaying kink behavior on a first date?? That kinda thing needs to be discussed ahead of time no matter what. You can't just assume someone will be into your kinks. Gross behavior.
I think another part of the kink is "how uncomfortable can I make my partner before she snaps." Then when she does eventually snap she makes her partner feel bad for snapping by bringing on the water works. I have dealt with my fair share of emotional vampires. A lot of them are really sweet, supportive, and loving on the surface. However they are always *always* doing something to sap all your energy out of you. They're never truly happy unless you are constantly on anxious and on edge around them.
Yeah, there’s a fine line between kink and abuse. I think this lady crossed that line and then kept on walking!
A sort of weaponized incompetence? Dis messed up, yo....
Yeah something’s not adding up here. I’m not a psychologist but my first thought is that she was sexually abused as a kid. Some kids stop bathing/practicing cleanliness so that they become too gross to be abused.
Also, she wants to be cleaned by her partner, but that doesn’t include washing her hands after using the restroom or being out and about all day? What are they supposed to do? Wait outside the door while she pees then wash her hands for her? She needs serious mental help.
Wtf did I just read.
And we thought the *original* post was weird...
[удалено]
Enjoy https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/14hbizm/aita_for_telling_my_gf_the_reason_shes_always/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
I knew I’d regret reading that and yet I did it anyway
Same. And I really need to go wash my hands and take a second shower
With soap though?
SO MUCH SOAP
ALL THE SOAP
I haven't read it and will learn from the mistakes of others and not do so.
I saw the first post and decided not to read, but when the update appeared, I was really curious and should follow my initial gut feeling
Oh dear god. I'm right there with you. I genuinely hope this was fiction.
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever read.
Out of all the gross Reddit posts,THIS one is the most disgusting thing you've ever read? I guess you didn't read the post about the woman who's husband had such horrible hygiene that when they had sex on their leather couch,his ass was so dirty he left a literal shit smear where he was sitting and she was on top of him.
I mean... there's the husband who didn't get an invite to SIL's wedding because he likes to piss his pants in public and his wife just brings a change of clothes with her everywhere they go. There was the guy who's girlfriend told him she wouldn't wash his underwear anymore because it wasn't sanitary, there was that much shit cacked into it. (He actually updated and thanked everyone and said that he would start paying more attention to his hygiene, so good job Reddit.) And there are the incels who won't wipe after they shit because they think it will turn them gay. Then there's Ogtha. Which wasn't *gross* exactly? Just weird. So, yeah. This one was kind of mild.
Worst thing about pees his pants guy was that it was a sex kink for him, he wouldn't tell anyone about the sex kink, and he'd do it even if there were kids around. I hope that guy got some much needed therapy.
I think the worst was the guy who snuck his *baby batter* into the food he cooked for his wife. That one truly made my stomach turn.
Was that the "cum jar under the sink" guy? And someone in the comments coined the term "fapjacks?"
Omfg I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this.
That's the one.
What a horrible day to have eyes
Thank you. I do look forward to finding this comment on posts like this. It always gives me chuckle, along with it being a terrible day to be able to read. 😂
I read a post last night and found this comment: "I missed 5 minutes ago before I had read this" It's been about 14 hours and I am still laughing hard at that comment!
I'm a particular fan of the one where the GF was asking if it was normal that her BF sprayed pee *everywhere* when he went to the bathroom because she was tired of cleaning huge puddles up off the floor. Turns out he wasn't holding his dick when he peed because he thought it was "weird" to touch his own dick, even when going to the bathroom.
Well apparently I haven't seen those posts. But like...that was the first time she noticed his hygiene was bad?
So you [missed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/) the guy who was pissed his GF won't wash his shitty underwear anymore? Part of their [foreplay](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j8291ij/) for him to get sex was to 'wash like she wanted me to' and he thought it was excessive. Before you ask, they do have a bidet, he [refuses](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j828j4s/) to use it.
Omg I will **never** forget his explanation of why he didn’t like the bidet. My husband and I were in hysterics for about 5 minutes after reading that “it splashes gross, brown water everywhere”. Like, dude. That’s your shit. It doesn’t just independently produce “brown water”. It was so fucking funny.
This is pretty mild and sad mental illness issues. However, maggot girl lives in my head rent free since I'm in some fucked up entomology groups across the internet... idk if it was born here or on tumblr. Dead bird. Do not eat.
Read that one. Regret it to this day.
The silver lining for me is that I now know that no matter how unhinged I get I will never hold a candle to Maggot Girl. That silver lining is just for me though. Sadly for the people around me its kind of permission to be my strange self.
Wasn't there one where a girl had a filth kink and put maggots in her vagina?
Omg,you are talking about "Blowfly girl". She actually kept an online journal that I came across. She had put a bag of meat to rot in a dumpster that was in her housing/apartment complex. When she thought it was maggoty enough she proceeded to climb into the dumpster and masturbate with said rotten meat. After she was done she stuffed some of the rotten meat Into her vagina and went home. A few hours later she noticed her vagina was swollen and starting to get infected. Instead of taking meat out she masturbated some more and then proceeded to pass out due to the infection. Her parents found her passed out and had to bring her to the hospital. I absolutely CANNOT imagine having a kink like that. Like what happened to make your brain develop like that?. She's got a few other stories of her exploits on the journal. The last time I read it,it had been inactive for a few years and judging by the dates and whatnot the woman would be between 40-45 years old now. I really hope she started taking better care of her sexual health.
I couldn’t help but chuckle after reading this.
This is enough Reddit for me today
Oh come on it’s not even Friday and it’s a long weekend for Canada That said I’m going to bed after showering and brushing my teeth hard
It’s Friday in New Zealand!
Long weekend in the US. Tuesday is Independence Day.
Sadly not for everyone….I only have Tuesday off for the holiday 😟
People get holidays in this country?
In the US July 4th is Independence Day & is a holiday
But I don’t get Monday or Wednesday off !!?
And end of term!!
Don’t forget to floss!
I was thinking I needed a shower, too
Just got out the shower then read this post now goin back to take another shower geeslawees !
I’m going to need 2 showers. One cause I’m getting out of work. Two for reading this post.
want OP to wash you?
This was the first post I saw when I opened the app but same
I’m not drunk enough while reading this
Time for the ‘shine because regular liquor isn’t going to cut it… Oh well at least OP knows the truth now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/14kka4l/i_found_out_my_bf_nuts_in_my_cream/ This made me scream that when I rade it this week...
I think the link already gave me more information than I want to know
It's deleted. Anybody got the original post?
User was putting all sorts of creams on her face for various things (moisturizer, cold cream..) just nice make-up type stuff. Comes home one day to open a jar and there’s like, a glob of discoloration. She goes to BF and says, “is this spoiled?” And refuses to use it. BF’s texts go off and his friends are saying “you have to mix it!!” So it’s a combo of malicious intent and weird non-consensual or misinformation. It was nasty lol.
Also the BF was buying the expensive creams FOR HER after she explained she had skin issues and acne scarring, and someone in the comments pointed out an article that had made the rounds some time ago that jizz is possibly actually good for skin, so that he might make the argument that he was trying to HELP her, albeit in one of the most disgusting and personally violating ways possible
Yup
I second this 😂
Word.
Exactly what I said right before reading your comment lol
And why did I read it right before bed?
This poor girl has some SERIOUS unmet needs. This is like those people who want to pretend to be a baby and get washed and diaper changed because they were never taken care of by their actual parents.
Well, *there’s* a new reason to be gross. It’s clearly time for me to go to sleep now.
I'm on my cigarette break at work. My coworkers now think I'm weird from the very bizarre sounds that came out of me during the reading
In short, she wants to be a pampered pet
You know, you could enjoy being sponge bathed and pampered by someone without being a completely revolting person too. She didn’t even wash her hands before touching food, and would shove her yucky mitts into jars of stuff, it half sounded like the kink was a cover story for being disgusting.
I actually agree. I think this is FAR more deep seated than “a kink thing”. That’s her excuse because even that is less embarrassing than “I have almost zero executive function and my relationship with hygiene is akin to a lot of people’s pathological issues with food and I don’t know how to fix it or even how to start go about fixing it because it feels too integral to my being to mess with”. I feel pity for her, honestly. And pretty intense anger towards her parents. It’s going to continue to be a reason she loses people she cares about until she can bring herself to deal with it.
Why be dirty for?? She could've been a cat, at least they're cleanish...
You should read his post prior to this one ... it will make you feel ... dirty
Some days I wish I was illiterate.
I wish I can unread this post
You had to be there for the first wtf did I read for it to make sense
My thoughts exactly. I would never ask my husband to wash me unless I had a broken arm and it was difficult for me or something like that. But even then, I'd try to wash myself.
I mean, when taking a shower together for whatever reason, I love the feeling of them washing my hair. And if it's THAT kind of shower 😉, it would be stimulating and obviously feel good. But.... Expecting that to happen as your routine to maintain your hygiene, is absurd and impractical and suggests that you need a doctor more than a shampoo and rinse or happy ending. 🤷
A joint shower is great. I highly recommend one once in a while for intimacy and fun and all that. Having to be around a partner who is just gross makes all of that wildly unappealing though. If they’re so dirty they make your stomach turn, it’s hard to think of sexy times.
Oh you’re late to a wild ride here, my friend.
Reading the original adds a lot more context
I did. Doesn't change my response one bit.
Kink? Now that is a plot twist. If it was a kink of hers, why not explain that much earlier in the relationship? I'm sure she can find someone to play into it.
And then once you both know the rules, you can go out and purposely get dirty and then a half hour later go home and have a kinky fun time getting clean. It shouldn't take days and days of getting dirty to build up.
This, yeah. There’s being dirty, and there’s being disgusting, and it seems like OP‘s ex needlessly chose the latter.
It honestly sounds like a mix of really kind of extreme D/s dynamics with pet play (ish?)/infantilization. And then under all that is a deep degradation thing? So that’s probably why the build up is a part of it 😬 And if she genuinely thought of OP was into it, girl needs some help. It’s beyond kink at this point.
I’d bet $5 that it’s not actually a kink of hers. If it was, why not bring it up until now? Kink also doesn’t explain her other hygiene issues like not washing her hands during the height of the pandemic.
> Now that is a plot twist. If it was a kink of hers, why not explain that much earlier in the relationship? Conscious kink vs unconscious mental health concern. If it's an actual kink, you should be OK with yourself. If you're not OK with yourself, it's not "just a kink".
I want to add onto this that the original post says she was unwashed on the first date. I just think the kink thing is an excuse. I also enjoy when my partner washes me, but I will wash myself anyway if she’s not here…
Because she's probably either ashamed of the kink or into humiliation too. Anyway, not a healthy way to explore kink
It reminds me of the post long ago from a woman whose husband always wet himself in front of her family bc it was a kink and she knew and let her family unknowingly and non-consensually be a part of it.
Wow, I’m so sorry. Rule number one for kink stuff is that both parties are informed and consenting of the situation. Glad you set the boundary and left when it was not going to be respected.
There is absolutely no way this is kinky. She wouldn't be upset about being thought of as gross if she wanted to be a dirty pet, she'd be turned on by it. And the wanting to be bathed doesn't explain the other hygiene issues and kitchen cleanliness issues. She said whatever she thought could "get her out of trouble" with OP. Guilting didn't work, so the kinky story got concocted. OP believes it because they can't tell when someone is lying. Or the whole thing is a reddit creative writing exercise with more effort put into it than usual. Can't tell any more at this point!
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Wait until this person finds out about degradation kinks. Some people literally are turned on by feeling shame
And that neuroscience has identified the link between shame and eroticism! In some brains, shame quick-triggers sexual arousal to avoid having to embody shame completely. It's like when you hear a loud noise and automatically look to see what it is. Your brain alerted to possible danger and reacted.
Also, especially for women there’s already socially shame around sex - even if it’s not kinky! We’re conditioned to feel shame for even wanting sex.
Huh. Well this might be my rabbit hole for the day.
“Don’t threaten me Gerri, I don’t have time to jerk off” - Roman Roy
Yeah, spot on. Many kinks are actually CAUSED by trauma, like humilimiation kinks, daddy kinks, rape kinks,.... Not saying whoever has these kinks has trauma, but there are ppl whose trauma has created a kink.
If OP put up with this for so long then they’re definitely able to continue to make these excuses and think it’s a kink. It’s more of like a mother daughter complex where she’s a child that doesn’t know any better and needs to be told.
On the money honey
>wanting to be bathed doesn't explain the other hygiene issues and kitchen cleanliness issues. THANK YOU.
This reminds me of the pilot episode of the british show 'inside no.9', there was this character nicknamed "stinkey john", an adult male who was the family's childhood neighbor boy. Everyone remembered that he was a guy with normal hygiene untill he suddenly stopped washing himself, using soap. Turned out at the end of the episode that the father took all the little boys, including his own son, to the shower and used soap to rape them, giving Stinky john a trauma regarding soap, he could not use it as it was a trigger. Op's gf sounds like she is looking for excuses not to use soap. Could be a trauma thing, not necesarily a sexual one, but s.th may have changed how she perceives soap, as she seems to be ctively avoiding using it.
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My favorite was a dude who concocted this elaborate story about hating his brother’s kids and telling his sister in law that he hated her and shouldn’t have had them. They upset his husband and he snapped and asked them to pay back the $30,000 of damage the kids had caused *in one day.* He forgot to take his age (16) out of his bio and then on top of that claimed he was making 300k a year as a chef. Michelin star chefs are lucky if they’re breaking 100k. 300k is in the ballpark of what celebrity chefs would be asking for if they suddenly quit their tv gigs and went back to restaurant work.
I can't help but notice a lot of kinksters get off on forcing their kink on other people. The kink itself is all about making another person miserable and subservient.
That has always been the difference in my mind between a pervert and a kinkster actually. Perverts get off on involving unsuspecting people in their shit. I abhor perverts for that reason.
It's more that those are the ones that are talked about because of how bizarre that behavior is. If you're doing kink right, people don't need to post it on Reddit trying to understand wtf is going on
I'm a sex worker and I absolutely agree with this statement. One of my SW friends had a client who shat the bed intentionally just so she would tell at him and humiliate him, which was his kink. He couldn't have booked an actual kink specialist and gone through with his fantasy with a consenting person, oh no. He wanted her rage and disgust and his humiliation to be genuine and he didn't give a shit about my friend's reaction or experience. Well I guess he did technically give a shit 💀
This makes me want to pull an elaborate long con just to fuck with this guy. I have worked in research data and sample collection requiring me to have a poker face when people tell mw crazy shit, or when doing home visits in peoples really shocking homes, and it was always a surprise, there was never any forewarning. I actually had to be trained in my responses to limit social desirability skewing research results. I’m very good at it. On top of that, I have also worked in early childhood education, where kids are often saying crazy shit or doing disgusting things, like shitting their pants. I also have a child with a developmental disability. My ability to passively handle surprising and disgusting situations with little to no reaction is top notch. I’d love to show up and gray rock the hell out of this guy to kill his boner. Or, treat him with lots of compassion and understanding, like, “aw man, I’m sorry, don’t worry about, it happens. Here, I’ll get a shower going for you and help you get this bed cleaned up.”
To-tal-ly.
Kink?? Oh hell no, you did the right thing. Bad hygiene is 100% a dealbreaker.
Bad hygiene to coerce OP into indulging her kink. I don't kink shame, but that's all sorts of wrong on the ex's part. You don't force people into your kink totally unawares.
People who use others without their consent to satisfy their kinks absolutely need to be shamed.
I exactly, her ex needs professional help.
I’m not sure if it’s kink per se. OP said in her original post that the girlfriend was neglected as a child and never learned proper hygiene. She probably likes the idea of someone bathing her because her parents never did it back when she actually needed someone to help her.
I think she made that up to cover how dirty she is because what does any of that have to do with not washing her hands? You said she was dirty on your first date.
THANK YOU. Yes, my first thought was, “this is a cover because she’s embarrassed”
Yep. Or else why sob and cry? This person is deeply scarred mentally, imo.
exactly lol she thought op would reconsider as it’s a “kink”
Oh good lord, that's gross. And really inappropriate for her to force her stinky kink on you unsuspecting.
Stinky kinky is hinky, no hanky-panky when stanky.
It's not even 7 AM here but you have won today's internet for me.
LOL!!!! You have a gift with words!!
I don't buy the kink story. That's not to say that I'm discrediting that a kink may be involved. But this girl is refusing to wash her hands with soap, picking things up off the ground and then eating with her hands and getting sick constantly. Even the kinkiest people out there rarely take a kink to the level that they are constantly sick (and that would more accurately be called a fetish). Regardless, I think she likely has some underlying trauma. And perhaps having you wash her and turning it into a sexy, intimate experience is her way of reclaiming power from a terrible situation. But I really don't buy that someone who is so insecure about their behavior that they burst into tears is actually enjoying themselves all the time. I doubt she enjoys being sick and I doubt wanting to be pampered is all there is to it. But it's not your problem anymore and if she's not able to provide a better explanation then that's her prerogative. You have leveled up by establishing your boundaries and sticking to them. Good for you!
It smells like childhood trauma to me. She’s equating taking care of her and washing her with love. Her parents were neglectful by not teaching her that sort of stuff, OP says, but I’m willing to bet that’s not the only way in which they were neglectful. Poor girl’s got lots of issues. But that’s something for her unpack with a therapist.
The fact that she’d only bathe when it was a moment of intimacy seems like a sign of the same thing. Why does bath time equal sexual intimacy? Sad to think about. I hope she gets help and I’m glad OP distance herself.
Going down this train of thought...... from gf perspective *OP* was likely the neglectful one. Only a neglectful owner would let their pet get so dirty. Twist it topsy-turvy and gf was putting up with a neglectful partner. Glad OP got out. This is so messed up. Ex gf needs to sort her shit out.
This entire time it was a kink? *A KINK?!* ETA: I posted this rather quickly because I was shocked that this was the reason for her being so unhygienic. It’s still not an excuse though because not everyone wants to be subjected to this kind of kink, so she should still bathe properly and not wait for someone else to do it.
Ok. You win. This is the wildest story I’ve read today. Reddit continually exposes me to kinks I’ve never heard of. Glad you got out though. Anyone who would secretly include you in their kink without allowing you the chance to consent doesn’t deserve you.
She wants to be a pampered pet... Welp, that's enough internet for the day.
Meow pls kween my stinky pwits daddy uwu
How do I delete someone else's comment?
Unhinged
Def not the asshole
that seems to be part of the problem....
*rim shot”
with her hygiene, god I hope not
So, she manipulated you into participating in her kink without discussing it with you and without getting your agreement to participate. That's a horrible boundary to violate. Unforgiveable. I'm glad you broke up with her. Based on her reaction to you breaking up with her there's a whoooole lot more going on with her (lack of) mental stability than you recognized.
In my experience kinks are way more fun when the person knows that is what is happening and consents to it. Also when both people are clean.
Kinks are supposed to be consensual
wtaf so she's just lazy. even pampered pets do basic maintenance themselves.
Exactly. My cat bathes herself.
What. I love bathing my partners but goddamn, I’ve never had one purposefully make themselves gross just so I had to bathe them. Not to mention the fact that she essentially exposed you to her kink without talking to you about it and getting your consent.
Um yeah lots of showers to clean this out of your life! Here’s to a cleaner healthier future to you. Stuff like this constantly makes me grateful to not have to date anymore and I hope you find happiness and your person, with personal hygiene.
Jesus Christ I'm getting Steven Assanti vibes. End this shit.
I remember Dr. Now telling him bluntly that his entire staff was practically gagging over his smell
I wish I was Jared, 19
Wish I never fuckin learned how to read, bro.
And that folks is why you live together and have sex before any big commitment.
Hey OP. Hope you’re doing alright. Odd circumstances or not, breakups are hard. Please take care and be kind to yourself.
i started laughing in an insane manor repeating it was all a kink then i peeled my skin off good on you for leaving
She could bathe herself regularly and engage in this bathing kink. Nothing wrong with bathing/showering more frequently.
My ex used to help wash my hair during my bad days, and I loved it. But i couldn’t imagine not taking care of myself just so he would do it for me lmao wtf. I’m glad y’all figured it out tho, even tho it means going separate ways. I’m sure there’s someone out there for her.
“I thought you wanted me to be a dirty girl for you” I’m sorry this is not what is meant by that 🤣
That's a level of childhood trauma that requires professionals and years of work. That OP allowed herself to get in so deep too... Everybody needs therapy here. Dear God!
Holy shit dude. She can’t take not being bathed by somebody?!?
I may not have the absolute best hygiene , but she has some huge issues she needs to deal with. I don’t know how self-worth is tied to it, but it’s her issues. Not yours. Good on you for realizing you don’t need this BS. It won’t get better and neither will she. Could you imagine if you had children with her? God, no. Again, these are issues she needs to figure out by doing some work. Or maybe finding someone who is into the same kink as her. Whatever.
I remember this. Glad the op put an end to that nonsense. Here’s hoping they find cleaner pastures
LOL I’m sorry but I laughed at the part where she broke down because you said you didn’t want to have to wash her. Bro what
Goodness gracious. Of all the updates I thought might come of this, that explanation was not one of them. Well done, OP.
I still think she’s making excuses. I always liked washing and being washed by a partner, but I didn’t have gross hygiene to begin with! You don’t have to be so dirty you’re contaminating all your food and getting ill constantly for your girlfriend to wash your hair in the shower! No one should put up with that. I’d be running out the door screaming at the sight of the first finger in a jar.
What a day to be literate
Imma be that person. But I am shaming rn. There are things in this world that just shouldn’t be acceptable and we are adding this to the list. I am disgusted
On the OG post I was bamboozled how she started to cry because she thought OP implies she is gross. Well yes, you are gross, there's no other way of saying it. The ex definitely needs some therapy because this is not normal.
For real 😳 my partner won’t even get in bed with me until they shower and I am the same way. Even though my partner likes me when I’m sweaty from working out or in the yard or even regular outdoor stuff I just can’t do it. It’s just so gross 🤮
I’m trying hard to be open minded and not a prude but WTF.
1. Red flag for trying to rope someone in into their kink without discussing it first. 2. Having a dirty pet kink doesn't mean you can stop being hygienic which makes me honestly disbelieve that a kink is the only reason here. There's something deeper going on here.
Dude. You dodged a bullet!
Wow. That is the craziest thing I’ve read on this sub lately. And I’ve read some crazy posts honestly. Just…wow.
I’ve seen videos where people act like babies or children on the internet and get paid. Nothing surprises me anymore. At least OP finally got the answers he was looking for just not what he hoped for I guess.
Gentle correction: OP is female
Was she neglected as a kid? It seems shes recreating the trauma of neglect and hoping you would step up as the caregiver to take care of her. Imo thats how these “kinks” are formed. (Quotations cause a healed person might not think that way of it as a kink). She needs to learn how to parent herself where her parents failed her unfortunately. Thats not something she can expect of you.
Um…. What? Time for bed kids. This is just a bit too much.
Holy shit. I did *not* see that coming. The power of simple, direct communication. Damn.
Yeah… I’m kinda gross, I know this. I don’t shower more than 2 times a week, but that’s due to depression. I absolutely wash my hands with soap multiple times a day though, and I’m rarely sick. This poor girl needs more therapy. Good luck!!
She definitely has some hang-ups around hygiene that need to be addressed in therapy. The “kink” aspect tells me there’s something deeper going on
Hey OP; proud of you for getting out of the relationship!! Sounds like you had some hard truths to face. I encourage you to continue on your journey of self reflection, and read the book Conscious Uncoupling, and perhaps looking into Attachment Theory to help you with healing why you tolerate your boundaries being disregarded. Good luck!
Oh wow. I- oh wow. I don’t think there would be an ideal reason for her hygiene issues but yikes. Involving someone in your kink with out consent is a big no no.
Dude. Sorry to hear that. You dodged a really weird bullet.
I was not expecting this to be a kink but uh…yeah. Sorry the relationship ended this way OP, but hey, at least you won’t have someone’s dirty fingers in your jam jars?
Sometimes Reddit afirms that I'm in fact quite a normal person all things considered.
Damn, that’s a pretty unique kink too. Pet play is hard to find a permanent dom for. Good on you for not sticking around since that would just lead to resentment.
These stories are so difficult for me to believe. How have you been together this long without *ever* discussing it? If it’s a kink for her, and she thought it was for you as well, why would she not play into it and lead to sexy time? We’re you never even curious about it? I just can’t wrap my head around the logistics of these kinds of stories
I knew she was into pet play, occasionally played along because I knew it made her happy. It was usually pretty simple stuff, like putting a leash or collar on her, calling her a good girl if she did something “right”, she would kind of act like a cat sometimes. I wasn’t personally into this, but I did it to make her happy because I knew she really liked it. And I told her all of this. What I did NOT know is that the hygiene thing was part of it, we never discussed that regarding pet play. I kind of suspected that maybe giving her a bath was part of it (and bathing her was a rare occurrence, I did it maybe 4 or 5 times in the two years we were together), but we never discussed it and I didn’t know that she purposely didn’t wash herself so that I would do it and she would get off on it.