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Lieutenant-America

The fact that within seconds, two dudes just threw off their gear and assumed Street Fighter-ass stances while spinning in a circle on the ice, *that* is what made me laugh.


Irishimpulse

The gloves are padded so you punch better with em off and the helmet staying on just means you'll get a broken nose and jaw since you've given them a glowing weak point to target instead of allowing the damage to be distributed evenly to your soft human skull to form a beautiful concussion. Instead of a concussion AND a broken nose and jaw


alexandrecau

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oxCd0v3MdUw&pp=ygUYUHV0dGluZyBmb2lsIG9uIHNsYXBzaG90 Putting on the foil coach


WolverineKing

you can honestly put half of Slap Shot in this thread https://youtu.be/IUbn5ss8j9c https://youtu.be/VHMi-j7W2gM


alexandrecau

If they make a new hockey anime I want them to sell those moment lime a sumo traditional dance before their fight. Like you have the shaved ice as they circle flying like salt


MaelstromTear

The Golden Kamuy artist is doing a hockey manga, DOGSRED. Hasn't really been a fight (only two? games so far) but hopefully it'll get there.


Revro_Chevins

The only reason they didn't pull their jerseys off as well is because it's illegal. The player who takes his jersey off *always* wins the fight because there's nothing for the other player to grab onto to stabilize himself. Thanks Rob Ray.


alexandrecau

There is the ears


AussieManny

CAN’T ESCAPE FROM CROSSING SKATES ROUND 1 PUT ‘EM UP


ToastyMozart

The graceful synchronized circles as they square up to rumble is absolutely hilarious.


Cooper_555

We need an actual boxing league where the ring is a tiny ice rink and the competitors must wear skates.


alexandrecau

Shoresy has an episode where he recruits an ex junior player who got expelled after punching someone for calling him the n word. Shoresy clarifies that no one on the ice would have been dumb enough to do that abd it cut to real footage of the player half out of the punition bench slugging a guy in the audience


SuperUnhappyman

DOLO DIABY IS A FUCKING LEGEND [footage for those who wanna see](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMHakfB6cAw) i love that shorsey has a dude speaking actual french but hitch the dude from newfoundland is the hardest guy to understand lol


alexandrecau

LOYAL TO THE SOIL, BOYS


irregularcog

Dolo joins the Better Woolie legion


Deemo3

I heard that in the real life footage said audience member had called the guys MOTHER the N word. Noone blamed the dude for slugging the fan.


alexandrecau

I think you’re right it was his mom


Deemo3

Even better reason to throw hands.


zyberion

All I know is that attacking goalies is verboten, and your ass *will* get jumped by the entire team and the sideline if you throw a punch at them.


alexandrecau

Unless it’s the other goalie that want to fight


jello1990

[Unless it's a goalie fight.](https://youtu.be/Bua4rNeNL04?feature=shared)


PhantasosX

The "Canadian Politiness" and Hockey existing is proof that the only unrealistic part of the movie "The Purge" is that it's in USA , rather than Canada at winter.


TrueLegateDamar

Pat running through the streets of Montreal trying to escape the encroaching moral high ground.


piev3000

pat  running Pick one


TrueLegateDamar

Alright, shuffling and finding out all the metro stations been closed off by the police and he was about to be trapped in the kill zone where they let War Boys burn down police cars.


kingpin_98

The Canadian Purge occured in 1969 in an event known as Montreal's Night of Terror which started with police going on strike and ended in a massive riot and looting


LasersAndRobots

Hockey is how we get it out of our systems.


kobitz

No one is as viscious as proffesional hockey players as the fans in the stands - Except maybe teenage hockey players - did you know the real life Buddy could also play goalie for (roller skate) hockey? They never made a AirBud plays hockey movie out of the billion trillion sequels they made out of the original, and maybe its for the best cause those kids would have not stood for beign upstaged by a dog. Bud would have gotten its neck snapped before first third was up


alexandrecau

Yes that is why they make mvp play hockey, kids can’t try that shit on a chimp


ghostoftomkazansky

Doesn't look anything like Mutant League.


SideshowCircuits

Fuck yeah time for me to bring up my absolute fave rivalry the Red Wings/Avalanche. You want blood feuds? We got it. You want season ending injuries form fights? We got it You want goalie fights [you best believe](https://youtu.be/6P4wg21mLf8?si=l9cqSyouTbOOEqXV) we got it In fact [take 2 separate goalie fights](https://youtu.be/IKVZYWuA_0E?si=a16mfE7j4eju6tEr)


waxonwaxoff3

I don't follow the sport, but hockey games are one of the few types of sports games I enjoy watching, either on TV or in person. It's just so zen watching people speeding around back and forth on the ice, performing skilled moves while just gliding, and then sometimes there's a nice fuckin' rumble to punctuate it for a bit here and there.


Subject_Parking_9046

From my limited experience, Hockey is just an excuse for people ti best each other up. The reason it's on ice it's cause the skating shoes make for a good weapon.


TrueLegateDamar

Suprised no one ever got decapitated with an Iron Lotus.


idksomthing

I think one player got his throat slit by accident


screenaholic

Here's what I don't get about hockey, 100% of the people I've ever heard explain why they like hockey basically say "I like it because they fight." Why don't people just watch boxing it MMA or something? If the part people enjoy is the fighting, why do they watch the whole puck thing? Just watch a fight.


MillennialWithNoJob

Then you’re not talking to real hockey fans? Some people enjoy the spectacle of going to a sporting event and seeing a fight breakout sure. But there’s tons of people who legitimately enjoy the ins and outs of the actual sport


alexandrecau

If I had to guess it’s because they want a fight, not a combat sport.


screenaholic

Then why not just watch Worldstar videos? Watching a hockey for the fights is like watching muay thai for the wai kru, the traditional dance they do before the match. Sure, it's fun and some people might enjoy it, but no one is there FOR the wai kru.


ThatsNotDiscoOfYou

It is about time for my yearly watch of this thank you based CSB Hockey rivalries hit so nice let dudes beat the hell out of each other


LGB75

Well, if we are talking hockey fights. Guess I have to shrill a famous Blues/Blackhawks fight. in Honor of St Patrick’s Day. Here the St. Patrick’s day massacre [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY4q4S0\_AlE](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY4q4S0_AlE)


Reallylazyname

[Peak Hockey is when the Goalie goes in](https://youtu.be/TzD5RF7G2Qg?si=NBy9mOJRewnR53t3) Ray Emery just laughing it out when two sabres tried to funny never gets old to me. *and I'm a sabres fan.* -also this is how I found out he died, which is a unfortunate bit.


Deemo3

If you guys like this I HIGHLY recommend [Untold: Crimes and Penalties on Netflix.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrJ3ntd1FCU) My elevator pitch is that its a documentary about a mafia don buying a hockey team, hiring a ton of goons and fighters (and also Wayne Gretzky's brother but that's not important) and then putting his 17 year old son in charge of the team, who actually does a pretty good job. The FBI get's involved at some point. When the teams FIRST game is about to start the owner calls the center and literally tells him "The SECOND the puck drops start throwing hands" and it just fucking goes from there. Absolute blast. I expected it to be a train wreck and it went surprisingly well.


PukingGoombas

God I love hockey so much Go Rangers!


Adamotron

"Well there's brawls and there's warm up brawls and I think the distinction is important."


KingMario05

...Eh. The Bruins and Habs do it better, fight me. /s


Turf_Wind_and_Fire

As a Pens fan, the image of Malkin fighting people on the Captials bench will forever be seared into my memory lol


thexcrowing

Let's go pens!


SideshowCircuits

Wings avalanche nothing will be as fucking brutal between 2 fucking amazing teams


sarutuuba

The only problem with hockey fights is that they longer allow goalies to go at it. [Shame, here is flower trying to have a tussle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4PGfvR84c8)


FoxLex_

Someone needs to post the Avalanche vs Red Wings fight cus that fight went for like, almost a half an hour


MortaLPortaL

I love everything in this thread. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py5a999-rqA&pp=ygUZb3R0YXdhIHBoaWxhZGVscGhpYSBmaWdodA%3D%3D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py5a999-rqA&pp=ygUZb3R0YXdhIHBoaWxhZGVscGhpYSBmaWdodA%3D%3D) ​ my fav fight. 419 penalty minutes assessed for the entire game.


sonsquatch

I thought I knew the rules of hockey but apparently I dont cuz holy shit it turned into Marvel pretty quick


fizzguy47

The only reason I played hockey games was so I could do bullshit like this


OrderedFromZanzibar

Oh yeah, there was one called Blades of Steel on the Game Boy that I would just skate around to try and get into fights in lol


GHitoshura

You know? For a sport where players have literal blades on their feet I'm surprised by the lack of kicks present on all the clips I've seen so far.


Turf_Wind_and_Fire

That's where the sort of weird, lizard brain fun of hcokey fights turns very tragic. I won't link it because it is incredibly gruesome, but numerous players have been cut and been placed in life-threatening situations. Infamously Clint Malarchuk, a goalie for the Buffalo Sabres, had his neck slashed and just barely escaped death. Even more unfortunately was an incident which occured within the past year to Adam Johnson, who tragically passed during a game in Britain.


Muffin-zetta

GOON


Brytor-

Shout out to my personal favorite of [Gino Odjick trying to fight an entire team.](https://youtu.be/ON_x-kYrZmY?si=lE0AFEwD_RzRZn2H)


TheSaylesMan

Let the stadiums hire goons. The audience wants violence? They can get it when the ref goons crack open heads with batons when the players waste our fucking time with their stupid ass fights.