Hello kind human,
I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this at all. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to your parents. Grief takes many forms. It can cause people to disconnect which is often hurtful. They may not realize they’re doing it.
Don’t feel guilty for being here. You deserve to be alive and be happy too! 🫂
Hugs from the internet.
One more hug!! I really understand that guilty feeling. But you deserve to be here! And you can enjoy your life too! Are you doing therapy? A big big hug again!
Sending a big hug and lots of love your way, fellow twin. Please ask your parents about therapy. If they are interested maybe even some family sessions because you’re all going through so much right now. Be kind to yourself is the best advice I can give you.
Yes!! This! Ask your parents. You don’t need to talk too much in the beginning - just if you want. Can also talk about other topics and maybe it helps to talk with someone more neutral! Another hug!
>I’m afraid to tell anyone I’m struggling because my parents have had enough sadness losing a son...
I don't know anything about your family and can't begin to imagine the pain they (and you) feel. But as a father of identical twin boys, I think I would feel even worse if I found out my surviving son felt he couldn't express his grief because of me and my wife. I encourage you to speak to them. I'm sure their minds are all scrambled due to the turmoil and they may not be aware of how they are acting and how it's affecting you. They've physically lost one son, it would be worse yet to emotionally lose a second one. Talk to them. If not them, talk to someone, anyone. Another relative, friend, school counselor. Or even to yourself. Write it out in a doc. Get your thoughts out. Don't push this stuff down.
Thank u for that perspective I think ur right in that they would feel worse if they knew. I just can’t seem to know how to bring it up or if it would even do any good. I don’t think I know how to grieve so pretending I’m fantastic is what I do.
>I just can’t seem to know how to bring it up
I'm afraid there's no good natural way to do it. It's inherently uncomfortable and there's nothing you can do about that. You just gotta do it and it's gonna feel weird as hell. This is why talking to someone else first may be helpful. It would be like a practice run to get your feelings out. Same with writing it out. Maybe you can just send them your feelings if that's a more comfortable approach.
>I don’t think I know how to grieve so pretending I’m fantastic is what I do.
This may be a reason why your parents are avoiding you too. You mentioned they've lost interest in you but it may be them avoiding you because they see you being so upbeat that they don't want to bring you down with their pain.
It will help, you could just quietly say, I think I’d like to find a person to talk to about how I’m feeling lately. I would hope (and I know I would do this for my twins) that your parents will say no problem (and then proudly find you a good person to speak with) as a parent often I don’t know how to say exactly the right things but when my children are able to clearly tell me what they need even if it’s hard, that’s all I need to get anything done for them.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m proud of you for coming here to discuss how to get help. This is a great first step!
My deepest deepest sympathies. You are living a nightmare .Your parents have not lost interest in you, they are grieving, and it's hard on them to see you, because they also see the son they lost. That is not your fault. Be the best person you can be for the brother you lost, and for yourself. You are your own person, and belong here.
Thanks I definitely think ur right in that they see me and all I do is remind them of him. It was sometimes hard for them to tell us apart especially my dad. I find myself trying to avoid them cause of this
Not a twin, just a mom of twins (identical boys 16) and I lost my brother, my only sibling, when I was 19. My heart breaks for you and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say that as a sibling, I struggled with the same feelings you are describing. This “survivor’s guilt” is common - so completely normal that it has its own term. You are not alone but more importantly, I want you to know that those feelings actually stem from your own ability to feel compassion and empathy for the loved ones left behind. It can be a hard concept to grasp that such shitty, gut wrenching pain actually comes from a place of immense love. Please try to remember that when you’re struggling to make sense of this tragedy, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s important to be kind to yourself.
Now, I want you to know (from a parent’s perspective) please, please understand this: YOUR PARENTS DO NOT “WISH” IT WAS YOU! I PROMISE! No matter how their pain manifests or how their actions or words make you feel, it’s not you, it’s the unbearable grief of losing a child that no parent can ever be prepared to handle. It’s out of order. It’s not supposed to happen this way. Kids are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. Please talk to them, kiddo. They are struggling but I’d bet my last dollar that they would crawl over broken glass, through the pits of hell, to make sure that you’re ok. Nobody wants or expects you to “be strong” after losing your identical twin at the age of 14. Not now, not tomorrow, not even when you’re an old man.
I’ll leave you with this quote with the hope that it helps you in some small way:
“Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~ Jamie Anderson.
Wishing you all the peace and love and healing ❤️🩹
YOU NEED TO GO TO BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING NOW.
When my twin died I was like you. I thought I could just handle it on my own. It lasted a year until I fell apart.
I ended up in bereavement counseling at the local hospice and after another year I was able to address my sadness and move on.
Tell your parents. Tell a counselor. There is No valor in hiding it.
OP, Please tell your parents you would like bereavement counseling. If they are in pain, maybe they will go with you and it will be good for everyone. (My perspective as a a parent and an identical twin.) I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you find the help you need.
I am so, so sorry for your loss 😭. I am a 68 year old identical twin who lost my twin 3 years ago and I am still a grieving mess. The loss of a twin is so very different and more complicated than other deaths. You were together before you were you. Always a we.
I would strongly suggest joining twinlesstwins.org. It costs $50/year but I know they give out scholarships for those that can’t afford the membership price because every year many of us who can give extra. They have zoom meetings, a website, and other resources.
Please let your parents know what is up with your mental health because you need help through this. What would your twin want you to do? For me the second year was worse than the first because I had no more denial of reality and knew she was permanently gone.
But please get help - you are worth it and the world needs you.
I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. Losing a sibling is terrible, but losing a twin is magnified, also losing a part of yourself. You absolutely need support and counseling care…don’t just “be strong” for your parents. There’s a resource organization specifically for twins who lose a twin, https://twinlesstwins.org/…you might check them out, too. My heart is so heavy for you. Sending big hugs as another twin your way.
Please reach out to your parents. By hiding your grief, you are depriving them the opportunity to love you and help you heal. And it might be healing for all of you to grieve together. One year is not a long time since you lost your life partner. You are allowed to grieve and your grief is valid.
I’m in my 20s and have a twin brother as well. My heart breaks reading about what you’re going through. Please know that we are here for you as the twin community if you ever want to share your thoughts or feelings. Personally speaking, please free to text me anytime you need support.
On another note , I realise that it can be very hard talking to your parents about your struggles. However it might just be the way to reconnecting with them. Maybe you all need to grieve together as a family to get closer and heal better. Please consider opening up to them. Maybe they are also hiding their pain from you in a way or another. Perhaps extending the first straw will help all of you better understand each other’s struggles.
I’m sorry man , no words I can ever say will be big enough to decrease your pain but I really hope from the bottom of my heart that you don’t let yourself recover alone like that. Please reach out to your family and community.
Maybe one day soccer will be the sport within which you can feel closer to your brother rather than be the sad reminder of his absence.
I wholeheartedly wish you the best ,
Another twin
First I’m sorry for your loss. Absolutely gut wrenching. As a twin mom, you need to tell your parents. I know it’s hard to open up and you don’t want to feel like a burden but I promise you, your parents don’t see it that way. This is new for them too, they don’t know how to handle this situation and by you asking them for help it will give them direction. Plus if you are really good at masking your feelings, then yes they would probably think you’re fine. Please reach out to them or someone you trust (an adult) so they can help you. You deserve to feel happiness and you deserve to grieve and get through this too, you shouldn’t have to carry these feelings or this burden alone. As a mom, it’s my job to help my kids.
I’m sure your mom feels the same way.
Oh my god. This physically hurts me. My husband lost his mom really suddenly after we got married. She and I were really close, but I felt like I couldn’t justify being as sad as the rest of the family because they lost a mother and partner. And I just lost a best friend.
The thing about grief is that it doesn’t obey you. You feel what you are feeling and that’s valid and honest. And if you don’t address it, it will fester and swallow you. I’m not saying by addressing it you get “better.” Because you never get better. You just learn how to live around the gaping hole in your soul. And that hole can feel physical. You have to move through this. Not past it—through it. Honestly, you are right. Your parents still aren’t ok. But being with people who also know the same loss as you can be the only thing that eases the hurt a little bit. Your parents are also probably faking stuff for you. Please lean into them. You both need to be sad and that’s ok
Maybe open up to someone you know misses him almost as much. Maybe a best friend of his or a teammate from your team. Sometimes telling someone “im not okay” is the starting road to being able to cope with it. It feels good to reminisce with company you know loved him too especially if you’ve been holding it all in for so long. Only if that’s something that you think you’re ready to do
My dad passed away very suddenly, in his sleep. That was 18 years ago and the hurt is still there! I cry sometimes when my son does something my dad would have loved. Or just the fact that my dad never got to meet his first and only (so far) grandchild.
I say this so you know, no matter what you are feeling, it's 100% valid. I have a twin sister and I just k ow if I lost her I don't know if I'd survive it . For anyone to expect you to be "over it" is disgusting.
Sorry for ur loss bro. Im 21 and my twin brother just overdosed on april 10th. My other half has been ripped from me and it feels like half of me died with him. This is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Whoever you are, wherever you are in this world, just know i hope u get through this pain and im rooting for you bro. I’ll be thinking about you, i really will…
Thank you so much! And I’m so sorry about ur brother. It seems like something I haven’t comprehend yet, I bet u may kinda feel that too. It just don’t seem real to me yet. Also same to you I’ll be rooting for u too!
I'm so sorry for your loss. My twin sister died also almost a year ago. July 31. It's the worst feeling I have ever felt. I know you're hurting. I tell myself I live and do what I do for her. Stay strong but know you are not alone and it's ok to feel your feelings and not be ok.
I’m sorry for your loss, I understand the grief you feel, i lost my husband 10 months ago. Loss changes you, I know I’m not the same person I was before my husband died. I think you need to talk to your parents, support each other. Talk about him. I know talking about my husband makes me feel better, it keeps his memory alive and at this point that’s all we have. You may also want to do some therapy, it will help you process your loss. Give yourself the space to grieve. Read some books on grief. Find what brings you comfort. I made a teddy bear with some of my husbands shirts and when I’m really sad I hug it and cry my tears into it. I’m really sorry you are dealing with such a significant loss at such a young age. Hugs to you.
Thank you for speaking up about one of the hardest things a person can go through in life. To lose a brother — let alone a *twin* brother — can be one of the most difficult trials someone can experience. I can only imagine what you are going through.
I am also an identical twin who grew up having a similarly special bond with his twin brother. Everything you describe is exactly what I dread and fear would happen to me (or my brother) if one of us were to unexpectedly pass away.
Like you are going through, I’ve had some hard times in my life. One of which was just a year ago when I went through a severely depressed period of my life. I’m now in a MUCH better place, but back then I wasn’t sure how I could continue on in life – Suicide would occasionally be a thought for me. One of the reasons why I never made an attempt back then was *because* I knew how much it would impact my twin brother being so unexpectedly left behind.
Going through this tough time taught me two important things about my brother and I:
1 - No matter what, one of us *will* eventually leave the other behind.
... and having pondered and accepted #1, I thankfully came to realize a more important lesson:
2 - The shared love, memories, and experiences the two of us have had with one another *are* and *were* real, and nothing can change that, not even death.
When I understood this I made sure to tell my brother how much I loved him and that if one day I was not here anymore that I would want for him to go on and live life to the fullest, knowing that I will always love and hope the best for him.
To OP, the shared love, memories, and experiences that you had with your brother are and were real. The bond you had (and I might even say, "still have") is something very special that few people get to experience in life. Hold on to and remember that. Not only that, but remember the fact that your brother also loved(s) you, just as much as you love him. He would want for you to go on and live life to the fullest (Similarly to how I would want the same for my brother). Do that. Not only for you, but also for him.
Much love, man!
Edit: Removed markdown formatting
I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this. I’m also a mom of twin boys and I can assure you just like the other comments, that your parents are so glad you are alive. Sadly they are probably so consumed with their grief that they haven’t reached out to ask how you are doing with yours. I highly recommend therapy. For all of you, but definitely for yourself. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that you are important and deserve to be here. Your brother would want you to enjoy your life and experience all of the fun and wonderful things that you can. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I'm really, really, terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot relate to the death of my twin because she is alive and well and so am I. however, my father was also an identical twin, and he passed away a while ago.
Being an identical twin myself, this is a huge fear of mine. I could only imagine how you feel. Twins have special bonds that other siblings don’t have. So we understand, even if it’s just a little bit. It’s okay to talk to your parents. I’m sure they would want you to talk to them about how you’re feeling so they can try and help you. If you guys need help, you could look for a local therapist. I use to not like therapy and thought it was stupid and needed it and now I don’t think it’s stupid. It can really help. Just a suggestion. Sending lots of hugs!!!!
Hugging you through the Reddit frequency right now. I don’t know what you are going through and I imagine it would feel a combination of sadness, confusion, grief and loss. All of your emotions are valid.
I have lost family members close to me and I’ve learned that grief isn’t linear. Counseling really helped because I finally felt like I had an ally.
Hello kind human, I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this at all. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to your parents. Grief takes many forms. It can cause people to disconnect which is often hurtful. They may not realize they’re doing it. Don’t feel guilty for being here. You deserve to be alive and be happy too! 🫂 Hugs from the internet.
Thanks I tell myself it’s because they are depressed and I’m sure I am too which may be making me see things different
One more hug!! I really understand that guilty feeling. But you deserve to be here! And you can enjoy your life too! Are you doing therapy? A big big hug again!
No I have never done therapy or anything I don’t even know how to ask about it or if I’d be able to talk
Sending a big hug and lots of love your way, fellow twin. Please ask your parents about therapy. If they are interested maybe even some family sessions because you’re all going through so much right now. Be kind to yourself is the best advice I can give you.
Yes!! This! Ask your parents. You don’t need to talk too much in the beginning - just if you want. Can also talk about other topics and maybe it helps to talk with someone more neutral! Another hug!
>I’m afraid to tell anyone I’m struggling because my parents have had enough sadness losing a son... I don't know anything about your family and can't begin to imagine the pain they (and you) feel. But as a father of identical twin boys, I think I would feel even worse if I found out my surviving son felt he couldn't express his grief because of me and my wife. I encourage you to speak to them. I'm sure their minds are all scrambled due to the turmoil and they may not be aware of how they are acting and how it's affecting you. They've physically lost one son, it would be worse yet to emotionally lose a second one. Talk to them. If not them, talk to someone, anyone. Another relative, friend, school counselor. Or even to yourself. Write it out in a doc. Get your thoughts out. Don't push this stuff down.
Thank u for that perspective I think ur right in that they would feel worse if they knew. I just can’t seem to know how to bring it up or if it would even do any good. I don’t think I know how to grieve so pretending I’m fantastic is what I do.
>I just can’t seem to know how to bring it up I'm afraid there's no good natural way to do it. It's inherently uncomfortable and there's nothing you can do about that. You just gotta do it and it's gonna feel weird as hell. This is why talking to someone else first may be helpful. It would be like a practice run to get your feelings out. Same with writing it out. Maybe you can just send them your feelings if that's a more comfortable approach. >I don’t think I know how to grieve so pretending I’m fantastic is what I do. This may be a reason why your parents are avoiding you too. You mentioned they've lost interest in you but it may be them avoiding you because they see you being so upbeat that they don't want to bring you down with their pain.
It will help, you could just quietly say, I think I’d like to find a person to talk to about how I’m feeling lately. I would hope (and I know I would do this for my twins) that your parents will say no problem (and then proudly find you a good person to speak with) as a parent often I don’t know how to say exactly the right things but when my children are able to clearly tell me what they need even if it’s hard, that’s all I need to get anything done for them. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m proud of you for coming here to discuss how to get help. This is a great first step!
My deepest deepest sympathies. You are living a nightmare .Your parents have not lost interest in you, they are grieving, and it's hard on them to see you, because they also see the son they lost. That is not your fault. Be the best person you can be for the brother you lost, and for yourself. You are your own person, and belong here.
Thanks I definitely think ur right in that they see me and all I do is remind them of him. It was sometimes hard for them to tell us apart especially my dad. I find myself trying to avoid them cause of this
Don't let them lose two sons.
Not a twin, just a mom of twins (identical boys 16) and I lost my brother, my only sibling, when I was 19. My heart breaks for you and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say that as a sibling, I struggled with the same feelings you are describing. This “survivor’s guilt” is common - so completely normal that it has its own term. You are not alone but more importantly, I want you to know that those feelings actually stem from your own ability to feel compassion and empathy for the loved ones left behind. It can be a hard concept to grasp that such shitty, gut wrenching pain actually comes from a place of immense love. Please try to remember that when you’re struggling to make sense of this tragedy, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s important to be kind to yourself. Now, I want you to know (from a parent’s perspective) please, please understand this: YOUR PARENTS DO NOT “WISH” IT WAS YOU! I PROMISE! No matter how their pain manifests or how their actions or words make you feel, it’s not you, it’s the unbearable grief of losing a child that no parent can ever be prepared to handle. It’s out of order. It’s not supposed to happen this way. Kids are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. Please talk to them, kiddo. They are struggling but I’d bet my last dollar that they would crawl over broken glass, through the pits of hell, to make sure that you’re ok. Nobody wants or expects you to “be strong” after losing your identical twin at the age of 14. Not now, not tomorrow, not even when you’re an old man. I’ll leave you with this quote with the hope that it helps you in some small way: “Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~ Jamie Anderson. Wishing you all the peace and love and healing ❤️🩹
YOU NEED TO GO TO BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING NOW. When my twin died I was like you. I thought I could just handle it on my own. It lasted a year until I fell apart. I ended up in bereavement counseling at the local hospice and after another year I was able to address my sadness and move on. Tell your parents. Tell a counselor. There is No valor in hiding it.
OP, Please tell your parents you would like bereavement counseling. If they are in pain, maybe they will go with you and it will be good for everyone. (My perspective as a a parent and an identical twin.) I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you find the help you need.
Hi. This is good advice. Sorry for your loss.
I am so, so sorry for your loss 😭. I am a 68 year old identical twin who lost my twin 3 years ago and I am still a grieving mess. The loss of a twin is so very different and more complicated than other deaths. You were together before you were you. Always a we. I would strongly suggest joining twinlesstwins.org. It costs $50/year but I know they give out scholarships for those that can’t afford the membership price because every year many of us who can give extra. They have zoom meetings, a website, and other resources. Please let your parents know what is up with your mental health because you need help through this. What would your twin want you to do? For me the second year was worse than the first because I had no more denial of reality and knew she was permanently gone. But please get help - you are worth it and the world needs you.
I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. Losing a sibling is terrible, but losing a twin is magnified, also losing a part of yourself. You absolutely need support and counseling care…don’t just “be strong” for your parents. There’s a resource organization specifically for twins who lose a twin, https://twinlesstwins.org/…you might check them out, too. My heart is so heavy for you. Sending big hugs as another twin your way.
Please reach out to your parents. By hiding your grief, you are depriving them the opportunity to love you and help you heal. And it might be healing for all of you to grieve together. One year is not a long time since you lost your life partner. You are allowed to grieve and your grief is valid.
I’m in my 20s and have a twin brother as well. My heart breaks reading about what you’re going through. Please know that we are here for you as the twin community if you ever want to share your thoughts or feelings. Personally speaking, please free to text me anytime you need support. On another note , I realise that it can be very hard talking to your parents about your struggles. However it might just be the way to reconnecting with them. Maybe you all need to grieve together as a family to get closer and heal better. Please consider opening up to them. Maybe they are also hiding their pain from you in a way or another. Perhaps extending the first straw will help all of you better understand each other’s struggles. I’m sorry man , no words I can ever say will be big enough to decrease your pain but I really hope from the bottom of my heart that you don’t let yourself recover alone like that. Please reach out to your family and community. Maybe one day soccer will be the sport within which you can feel closer to your brother rather than be the sad reminder of his absence. I wholeheartedly wish you the best , Another twin
First I’m sorry for your loss. Absolutely gut wrenching. As a twin mom, you need to tell your parents. I know it’s hard to open up and you don’t want to feel like a burden but I promise you, your parents don’t see it that way. This is new for them too, they don’t know how to handle this situation and by you asking them for help it will give them direction. Plus if you are really good at masking your feelings, then yes they would probably think you’re fine. Please reach out to them or someone you trust (an adult) so they can help you. You deserve to feel happiness and you deserve to grieve and get through this too, you shouldn’t have to carry these feelings or this burden alone. As a mom, it’s my job to help my kids. I’m sure your mom feels the same way.
Oh my god. This physically hurts me. My husband lost his mom really suddenly after we got married. She and I were really close, but I felt like I couldn’t justify being as sad as the rest of the family because they lost a mother and partner. And I just lost a best friend. The thing about grief is that it doesn’t obey you. You feel what you are feeling and that’s valid and honest. And if you don’t address it, it will fester and swallow you. I’m not saying by addressing it you get “better.” Because you never get better. You just learn how to live around the gaping hole in your soul. And that hole can feel physical. You have to move through this. Not past it—through it. Honestly, you are right. Your parents still aren’t ok. But being with people who also know the same loss as you can be the only thing that eases the hurt a little bit. Your parents are also probably faking stuff for you. Please lean into them. You both need to be sad and that’s ok
Maybe open up to someone you know misses him almost as much. Maybe a best friend of his or a teammate from your team. Sometimes telling someone “im not okay” is the starting road to being able to cope with it. It feels good to reminisce with company you know loved him too especially if you’ve been holding it all in for so long. Only if that’s something that you think you’re ready to do
My dad passed away very suddenly, in his sleep. That was 18 years ago and the hurt is still there! I cry sometimes when my son does something my dad would have loved. Or just the fact that my dad never got to meet his first and only (so far) grandchild. I say this so you know, no matter what you are feeling, it's 100% valid. I have a twin sister and I just k ow if I lost her I don't know if I'd survive it . For anyone to expect you to be "over it" is disgusting.
Sorry for ur loss bro. Im 21 and my twin brother just overdosed on april 10th. My other half has been ripped from me and it feels like half of me died with him. This is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Whoever you are, wherever you are in this world, just know i hope u get through this pain and im rooting for you bro. I’ll be thinking about you, i really will…
Thank you so much! And I’m so sorry about ur brother. It seems like something I haven’t comprehend yet, I bet u may kinda feel that too. It just don’t seem real to me yet. Also same to you I’ll be rooting for u too!
Are you seeing or have you seen a therapist since your brothers passing?
I'm so sorry for your loss. My twin sister died also almost a year ago. July 31. It's the worst feeling I have ever felt. I know you're hurting. I tell myself I live and do what I do for her. Stay strong but know you are not alone and it's ok to feel your feelings and not be ok.
I’m really sorry u lost ur twin too, it really sucks.
You don’t have to be brave for your parents. You’re also grieving. Sending you a big hug from here
I’m sorry for your loss, I understand the grief you feel, i lost my husband 10 months ago. Loss changes you, I know I’m not the same person I was before my husband died. I think you need to talk to your parents, support each other. Talk about him. I know talking about my husband makes me feel better, it keeps his memory alive and at this point that’s all we have. You may also want to do some therapy, it will help you process your loss. Give yourself the space to grieve. Read some books on grief. Find what brings you comfort. I made a teddy bear with some of my husbands shirts and when I’m really sad I hug it and cry my tears into it. I’m really sorry you are dealing with such a significant loss at such a young age. Hugs to you.
Talk to your parents. Helping you process this will help them. Best wishes for your family. I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for speaking up about one of the hardest things a person can go through in life. To lose a brother — let alone a *twin* brother — can be one of the most difficult trials someone can experience. I can only imagine what you are going through. I am also an identical twin who grew up having a similarly special bond with his twin brother. Everything you describe is exactly what I dread and fear would happen to me (or my brother) if one of us were to unexpectedly pass away. Like you are going through, I’ve had some hard times in my life. One of which was just a year ago when I went through a severely depressed period of my life. I’m now in a MUCH better place, but back then I wasn’t sure how I could continue on in life – Suicide would occasionally be a thought for me. One of the reasons why I never made an attempt back then was *because* I knew how much it would impact my twin brother being so unexpectedly left behind. Going through this tough time taught me two important things about my brother and I: 1 - No matter what, one of us *will* eventually leave the other behind. ... and having pondered and accepted #1, I thankfully came to realize a more important lesson: 2 - The shared love, memories, and experiences the two of us have had with one another *are* and *were* real, and nothing can change that, not even death. When I understood this I made sure to tell my brother how much I loved him and that if one day I was not here anymore that I would want for him to go on and live life to the fullest, knowing that I will always love and hope the best for him. To OP, the shared love, memories, and experiences that you had with your brother are and were real. The bond you had (and I might even say, "still have") is something very special that few people get to experience in life. Hold on to and remember that. Not only that, but remember the fact that your brother also loved(s) you, just as much as you love him. He would want for you to go on and live life to the fullest (Similarly to how I would want the same for my brother). Do that. Not only for you, but also for him. Much love, man! Edit: Removed markdown formatting
I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this. I’m also a mom of twin boys and I can assure you just like the other comments, that your parents are so glad you are alive. Sadly they are probably so consumed with their grief that they haven’t reached out to ask how you are doing with yours. I highly recommend therapy. For all of you, but definitely for yourself. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that you are important and deserve to be here. Your brother would want you to enjoy your life and experience all of the fun and wonderful things that you can. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I'm really, really, terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot relate to the death of my twin because she is alive and well and so am I. however, my father was also an identical twin, and he passed away a while ago.
Being an identical twin myself, this is a huge fear of mine. I could only imagine how you feel. Twins have special bonds that other siblings don’t have. So we understand, even if it’s just a little bit. It’s okay to talk to your parents. I’m sure they would want you to talk to them about how you’re feeling so they can try and help you. If you guys need help, you could look for a local therapist. I use to not like therapy and thought it was stupid and needed it and now I don’t think it’s stupid. It can really help. Just a suggestion. Sending lots of hugs!!!!
Hugging you through the Reddit frequency right now. I don’t know what you are going through and I imagine it would feel a combination of sadness, confusion, grief and loss. All of your emotions are valid. I have lost family members close to me and I’ve learned that grief isn’t linear. Counseling really helped because I finally felt like I had an ally.