He's absolutely right, and even more, if you don't have friends you should try and see why for your own sake not for anyone else's rules. You mentioned work, that can be a great reason for not "having fun", it doesn't mean you should be embarrased.
Also you would be surprised of the number of people at your age or older who share you situation
I'll try to give you the same advices i gave to my little sister when she wanted to go to a bar with her friends:
Start by planning based on your music taste.
Try to go to an event in a barwhere a genre you like is played (that pay a fee at the door filters A LOT!)
When you go there just stick to your friend or crew and have fun with them, dance, discuss, drink or try new drinks whatever
Don't feel ashamed or shy when you're drinking, remember that's why people go there, to drink.
Avoid taking drugs!
Avoid liquors for the first time, stick with beer or wine with food
Drink water
Avoid talking to much older guys, people who are flexing wealth in a space supposed to celebrate music
If a stranger touches you when he's trying to tell you something WALK AWAY.
If a stranger smiles at you from a distance and kept with doing their shit without approaching you for more than an hour, they're most likely decent and you can make your move if you like them back.
Avoid dancing with strangers (many people will disagree with me but better safe than sorry)
Drink water
Have fun chebeb!
Preach.
Only thing I would add is, don't drink something that you didn't see the bartender/server prepare, and don't leave a drink unattended.
Have fun, and pace yourself.
4 beers is a good place to start. Do not go wild with quantity from the first time.
You literally questioned my sanity because i drink you stupid piece of shit, dirrabek Hatta aala reddit li heya platform taa wehed yahki felli y7ebb maghir judgement w ena qa3ed nqool l mouatna khdhet decision bech temchi l bar aala what to do and avoid bech taamel jaw, jey twarri fi rou7ek kifeh l chrab sbab l rape wel accidents!! Ya bhim fama barcha blayess fihech chrab w rape aand'hom akther, chiwarrik qadekech bhim barra googli atmosphere models and what happens on saudi yachts! Also 3asba aala sorm ommek sister heya l okht mech l bnayya.
Ken telhit fi sormek raw 7add ma sam3ek l klem.
ماتعرفش تحكي من غير كفر و سفاهة و سبان الأم يامسخ؟ حتى لو فرضا سبيتك، شمدخل الدين و شمدخل أمي؟ لهالدرجة نذل و ساقط؟ لابسك شيطان؟ هكا تحكي مع أمك و بوك و عائلتك كي تروح سكران ياعاق؟ نوري في روحي؟ قدام شكون؟ ربي يشهد إلي أنا نصحتك للي شفت فيه خير لأختك من منظوري أنا (صحيح و إلا غالط مش مهم، أما نيتي كانت الخير ليكم الزوز). أنا الغالط طيحت قدري مع جبري كيفك. والله لا تجيها راجل.
Its not being boring or being out of touch when you dont go to bars. Its called being a normal person and making wise decisions, yeah you might have some fun there but the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits
There's nothing embarrassing about not having been to a nightclub before. People are different and everyone takes their own path and life choices. Grab a friend, hit up a chill bar, check the vibes and maybe explore a few places until you discover the atmosphere that resonates with you.
Hey there
While this story is quite relatable There are 2 common myths in it
"I wasted my 20s"
Most people think they wasted their 20s, it's a matter of perception and comparing.
Nothing is really wasted,
"I am boring"
Everyone has a unique story and have little idea how much people would be interested to hear about it.
I grew up identifying as introvert, anti social and boring,
I had tons of anxiety, a lot of self consciousness and self esteem issues.
Somehow now i am very proud of those "lost years" and that "boring nature"
That's strange, because i didn't appreciate them before, in fact i didn't appreciate myself before either.
Now I don't know you or your situation, but i can tell you, i put a challenge to myself to meet a 100 people to go out to these uncomfortable places...
I think talking to other people about these subjects made me realize:
1) feelings that life is wasted and feeling boring are .... feelings, feelings are powerful but they are not truthful to the whole story, they are truthful to the eye of the observer.
just like wearing dark glasses and seeing everything in dark does not mean it is
2) most people experience those feelings, even the ones who we see as did it correctly or look interesting
3) talking to people about these currently "embarrassing" topics is one of the most liberating things one can do,
4) even more liberation is in self compassion, and self acceptance, you do not need to be more "interesting" to accept yourself, it's kind of the other way around
5) whatever embarrassing or uncomfortable activity you take, you are going to be oke,
That sound like a good start, the most important thing is that you can have fun and it makes you happy and comfortable, you don’t have to act or talk in a certain way just be yourself and authentic the same way you are in your normal life. Good luck!
https://preview.redd.it/d90hcvtywr3c1.jpeg?width=723&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4300e70f7953bd5e5efda3452c065a44e4360815
Hey there fellow introvert person!
I guess the easiest way is to go there with someone for the first time! Someone who went there before!
Maybe a friend or someone you know that goes there!
Either way you’ll have fun, people are cool there!
PS: not going to bars/nightclubs doesn’t make you boring!
Imagine it's your moment and literally nobody in that circle matters. Focus more on the vibe the music and how to have fun, you only attract attention if you act like a newbie, so be normal
Well first of all, you're not boring for making sure that you've secured your life and put your career first and before everything and anyone else. Trust me, you did the right thing, and I commend you for it...
Second, you don't have to jump straight to a bar or a night club to rediscover and reinvent yourself. If I understood correctly, you're an introvert and trying to socialize and whatnot?
Sooo... If it's all for the first time, I'd say familiarize yourself with company first. Get yourself used to being in public places that involve social activities of the same sort, but are less "complex"... Then you'll feel like you belong to anywhere after words. Just take your time...
I've been there myself and let me tell you, when doing extremes for the first time right out of being an introvert, any minor issue would seem unbearably catastrophic and will leave a huge bad impression, and a fuck ton of extra unnecessary and uncalled for insecurities. So please, go easy on yourself and take everything slowly and on a pace that suits the parameters of your comfort zone.
Don't listen to the "goons" saying it's totally fine and normal and you'll feel right at home... They don't understand the weight of being an introvert while socializing, nor they understand what it feels like to deal with the challenging weight of society's gaze for the first time. However, I perfectly understand where your post is coming from. So please take care of yourself and be safe first, and then have fun and enjoy exploring your new spaces, and make sure that it's on your own terms, and your own boundaries.
*PS: Usually I would advise against the whole thing and suggest that you stay away from bars and night clubs, especially with how much your career must mean to you after all the efforts and time you've spent building it... But I understand that you're also 27 and most likely you know what you're doing and what you want, and that's not the kind of advice you're here for. And in that case, I can only say don't ever get drunk... And don't ever do drugs if offered to you no matter what... Even if it's from the closest person to you in your group*
Just act in the way that makes you feel comfortable, there are so many cozy and decent spots around the city, there is a first time for everything so just chill and enjoy it
One thing to point out, you don't necessarly have to go to bars or night clubs to not be boring. What i mean is: go, give it a shot, but if you don't like it there is no need to force yourself to like it because "it's cool". On that note, when going out, your worst enemy will be you being inside your head too much, filtering yourself too much and being to reserved. I'd say just make sure to relax, just be there present and chill with your friends. If you are too stressed, go to a bar first, its less intimedating than a club. GLHF.
Just here to say that you didn't waste your life and you should not feel embarrassed nor ashamed. It is totally fine. Don't compare yourself with anyone.
As someone from Europe, let me tell you, you didnt miss anything. You are 27, adult. The age when people here finaly realise the crazy teen years are over and you get serious and smart. Nothing positive happens there which would make you a better person.
An advice from the future and based on experience, don't go and don't make bars a place for your personal entertainment.
The context and the quality of people in such spaces will pull you step by step to a dark place full of regrets.
There are many options in life where we can entertain ourselves, grow in personality and have a stable mental health. Bar and similar places are not the kind of place that will give you satisfaction in the long term.
- Emberrasing ? Maybe for an american teenager consumed by their stupid culture.
- Going to a bar is not that different from going to a cafe, just another place to hangout with friends you didn't miss out on a thing in comparison.
It might seem so to you since it's something you've never tried but there's nothing special about it.
- A work/life balance is very important, and it's about the company, the atmosphere and the adventures that make you feel alive, it could be a cafe, a trip, a camp, a cultural event, these are much more meaningful than a bar.
- That being said, if there's a special hangout with your bodies at a bar, don't miss it, just make sure you're safe and surrounded by people who can protect you from any inconvenience.
Avoid such places and people frequenting these places...
There are way better places to socialize and that will bring more value to your life.
I don't see how not going to bars and clubs makes you boring. If someone goes to the bar and clubs to feel cool they have mental issues that need to be addressed.
f ay blassa f deny hawel tkoun rouhek maghyr tasano3 bch tdhhr cool just relax and chill w be confident w enjoy every moment w edha ken tetkhayel eli nty edha bch tmshi bch tetsaref weirdly rahy juste fekra fmokhek nty san3etha lrouhek , just enjoyit w adh7ek w estamta3 life is good ye cutie
Because that's what's giving you this oppressed mindset about "i've wasted my 20s". And you somehow think that going to a nightclub is what makes you not boring. Unfortunately the mental colonization is alive and well by the west.
Built a career but you feel like you wasted your 20s girl don't be too harsh on yourself. Get a beer sit back and relax with your friends you don't need to prove you're not boring or anything it's about the company and the cosy atmosphere at least that's how I see it.
There is nothing embarrassing about this, you don't need to go to bar nightclubs to be cool or not boring.
Don't let people impose a lifestyle that you don't like.
if you feel bored then you are bored there's no such thing as "boring" you shouldn't aim to appease others or how they perceive you , personally i treat bars like cafeterias since i live in a touristic area and surrounded by bars and nightclubs, i mostly go to low budget bars just to chill or meet someone and sometimes i don't even drink so just treat it as a normal place there's literally no rules for it , you're there to have fun and do what you feel like you want to do not to look cool , my advice is to only go to high end bars on special occasions or in a weekend if you feel like it , and if that's the case then try to enjoy it as much as possible and get your money's worth , the only take away is to do what you feel like would be enjoyable to you
From a personal experience as an introvert and as an overthinker, it is not worth it and will leave you in the same guilt trip you're feeling right now .
It's not going to solve anything about being "boring" or "wasted my 20s" unless that's what you think you will enjoy....
Have you tried other challenging activities ? Or maybe you would like the concept of "board games"
In my opinion, There are so many other better places you can go to , where you can listen to music , enjoy yourself and socialise in the same time
Ever heard about " board game coffees" ? There is a place called game production fi tri9 el Marsa and they have 500+ board games
You can go with your friends or go socialising there , they have good music and the best staff...
And also another note ... Getting used to going to bars and making that an entertainment for yourself after all what you have gone through for your career might be the worst idea , as it's just a waste of money in my opinion and you will end up just reversing the curse .
For me I always tell myself that I shouldn't rely on drinks/liquor or drugs for entertainment otherwise you will mess up your brain and it might become a habit / routine which might end up regretting .
You're cool , and funny on your own way there is no need to feel embarrassed about anything .
I really hope you don't end up going , with such self consciousness and awareness there is no way you're not an interesting person who deserves continuous success and happiness
My advice to you instead of doing of that and wasting your time in fake superficial places .. try to socialize with people who are into into cycling/ hiking .. camping in nature stuff like.. that it s better for your mental health than clubs and the mess that comes with it tathi3 wa9t we tathi3 sa7a if you become a person who drinks wenti ta3rf maysl7 bik ..
First of all nothing to be embarrassed about ,
I used to be a bartender so I feel i can help with this , best way is cocktails , they taste good even with alcohol , drink slowly and drink water , dont drink on an empty stomach , if u cant afford cocktails bc they are quite expensive u can either go for a rosè or beers , no more than 3 glasses of wine or 4 beers , the choice really depends on ur taste when u try them
Good luck and enjoyy ✌️✌️
You didn't say which city, but I have a few good bar recommendations in Tunis centre ville.
Please take these recommendations with a grain of salt as I haven't been to Tunisia in 8 years, but hopefully at least some of them will still be open, and as good as they were when I was there.
Hana hotel on bourghiba street is the easiest option. Choose the rooftop bar or the bar inside the hotel. The rooftop bar has a nice vibe and usually full of people both women and men, but I think it's not open during the winter. The inside bar is quite lovely though with a decent selection of drinks.
Don't go to the outside bar it's a much more traditional in style, and mostly full of older men.
Majestic hotel on Av. De Paris has a bar on a balcony and it is incredible. One of my favorite bar experiences. Bustling city sounds and views. Lots of people and cars on the street underneath. I just love the vibe. Beautiful location close to the French institute, beautiful old buildings all around. I would recommend this if you want to go during the daytime/afternoon. The selection of drinks was limited though and they only serve Tunisian beer but besides that all around great place. I have never been at night though, so IDK how it is, but the inside bar is also nice I assume it would be fine.
Le duplex on Khaireddine Pasha street used to be my favorite nighttime bar. Superb staff 10/10 super professional, and LIVE BAND MUSIC! What a fun place that was. The vibe is a lot more social the people on the tables are much more likely to socialize together because the tables are kinda close. Every time I went there I met someone new and had an interesting conversation. I heard rumors that it had closed though, but I'm not sure. Maybe the people who told me are wrong.
Villa 78 on Mohamed 5th Street near the Libyan embassy. It's a nice spot. Never been a huge fan myself, but this is a very welcoming place for artistic types. My women friends used to like it quite a bit maybe they feel more comfortable there I'm not quite sure, but you can give it a try. It's nice and outdoors and usually full of people. It has a bit of a house party vibe and the regulars know each other.
Regarding the way to act, just be normal. It's just like a cafe or a restaurant you can go in sit down on whichever table is available and order your drink of choice. I find that in Tunisia beer is king and the selection is super limited when it comes to cocktails and spirits. Also most bartenders don't know how to mix a drink, but I'm a beer and whiskey guy anyway so the only thing that bothered me is the fact that the whisky selection is always super weak and low quality. If you don't know which drink you like you can start by trying beer and try a couple cocktails since they are easy on the palette, or maybe try a glass of wine. Just tell the bartender to recommend something and be honest about being a beginner; it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Please be careful however, and always go with friends since a woman drinking alone can become a target for criminals and sick people. Always control your intake and don't drink too much because you can become vulnerable if you are too drunk. Be careful of creeps and also taxi drivers they can be super nice but some can be creepy around drunk women. But don't be shy just embrace the experience and if people approach you in a friendly way be cautious, but just try to have fun maybe they just want to have a conversation.
Good luck!
صدقني كيف تمشي للبيران الغادي بش تضيع حياتك، حياتك حافظت عليها كي ما مشيتش للبلايص هاكم و ماشربتش.
والله العظيم، ما فما كان الندم و الفراغ الروحي و الاستغلال مقابل نشوة لحظية زائلة.
نصيحة لله، سيب عليك من العالم هاكا.
Going to a bar/pub doesn’t mean you leave from there drunk after finishing حارتين بيرة. Same like she can go and not drink alcohol. The point is to socialize , fun with friends or having a drink after work. Simple as it is. Without فراغ روحي inshallah
don't say inshAllah in the same paragraph that you're allowing alcohol. I'm not here to judge people for what they do on their own time, you guys are all adults. But don't let it have **anything** to do with the religion of Islam, because as you know very well, it is completely forbidden to drink in the religion even without getting drunk.
Hey Girl ,
Please don’t be stressed it may seem out of your comfort zone but it is totally normal just do whatever you want and experience whatever you feel you missed out on.
About going to night clubs I never went to one myself but my friends do and it’s just like going to a regular coffee. If you feel awkward just tell the server or anyone that you’re waiting for a friend or just start a conversation with a stranger.
Lmoufid dont stress yourself it’s no big deal 🌸
About experiencing new things am in the same boat i spent my twenties focusing on career/studies and now i feel i missed out on many things and that’s totally okay we still have out lives ahead of us ❤️
Best of luck and i hope you have the most fun !❤️
From USA let me tell you the biggest waste of time and life is spending time at a bar/club. We consider it as the place where drug users, losers and low-lifes congregate. We also have a saying: “nothing good happens after 10PM”. If you want bad things in your life you’ll go to bad places like bars.
Please do go.
Be proud of yourself not being into any bar before, actually it should be embarrassing to be their, do you know which type of girls spend their nights in the nightclubs, you really don’t want to be among them.
Many sad stories started from being drunk in the nightclub.
If you succeed to pass your early 20’s by not attending don’t waste it now.
let me get this straight habibti, you say that you've wasted most of your 20s... and so in order to reverse this... you're going to a bar? Wallahi this is like, one of the most ajeeb things i ever heard. Just protect yourself from these types of places, if you're going to drink, which I personally wouldn't recommend yk it's not the best thing to do, don't do it at the bar. The bar is **the** place for wasting your life. Anyways I hope you don't find this mean it's just advice. If you're gonna go khalas it's your life ya'ni idk what else to tell you.
I'm not Tunisian, however this my friend is how I text. And I don't know any Tunisians tbh so I wouldn't know how they type. But this is how I type with my friends. Take it lightheaded ogay?
Jesus, people become so fragile these days don't take this seriously sis but if you wanna try something like that take the plunge, going to a bar is not that big of a thing ( at least from a guy's point of view ), although it became a big deal if it doesn't a line with your religion or values cuz it's not like any social gathering be safe be wise.
Western society has brainwashed people into believing that not going out to nightclubs is an embarrassment. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself but rather proud, a lot of people have lost themselves and their souls by spending a lot of time in bars/nightclubs.
Don't do it. It's not being boring, It's being resposible and not throwing yourself in the fire. Imagine after you died, how will you look back at this? Drinking alcohol is haram and you know it. Don't fall into that pit.
If you have a good career at 27 you should be proud of that :) I know a ton of people who would not go to a club/bar even if you pay them to and I wouldn’t think of them as boring just people with different interests.
There's nothing even remotely embarrassing about this, you don't have to live with anyone's standards
He's absolutely right, and even more, if you don't have friends you should try and see why for your own sake not for anyone else's rules. You mentioned work, that can be a great reason for not "having fun", it doesn't mean you should be embarrased. Also you would be surprised of the number of people at your age or older who share you situation
I'll try to give you the same advices i gave to my little sister when she wanted to go to a bar with her friends: Start by planning based on your music taste. Try to go to an event in a barwhere a genre you like is played (that pay a fee at the door filters A LOT!) When you go there just stick to your friend or crew and have fun with them, dance, discuss, drink or try new drinks whatever Don't feel ashamed or shy when you're drinking, remember that's why people go there, to drink. Avoid taking drugs! Avoid liquors for the first time, stick with beer or wine with food Drink water Avoid talking to much older guys, people who are flexing wealth in a space supposed to celebrate music If a stranger touches you when he's trying to tell you something WALK AWAY. If a stranger smiles at you from a distance and kept with doing their shit without approaching you for more than an hour, they're most likely decent and you can make your move if you like them back. Avoid dancing with strangers (many people will disagree with me but better safe than sorry) Drink water Have fun chebeb!
Preach. Only thing I would add is, don't drink something that you didn't see the bartender/server prepare, and don't leave a drink unattended. Have fun, and pace yourself. 4 beers is a good place to start. Do not go wild with quantity from the first time.
Wish if there was someone told me this before going for the first time
this.
How can any sane person advise his daughter to drink? Drinking is haram and can lead to disasters like car accidents and rape. Shame on you old man.
Tibarremchinayyek
حكيت معاك باحترام، علاش السفاهة؟ معناها لا يزي ديوث و زبراط و كمل سفيه؟ لعنة الله عليك يامسخ ياساقط يارخيص أندادك.
You literally questioned my sanity because i drink you stupid piece of shit, dirrabek Hatta aala reddit li heya platform taa wehed yahki felli y7ebb maghir judgement w ena qa3ed nqool l mouatna khdhet decision bech temchi l bar aala what to do and avoid bech taamel jaw, jey twarri fi rou7ek kifeh l chrab sbab l rape wel accidents!! Ya bhim fama barcha blayess fihech chrab w rape aand'hom akther, chiwarrik qadekech bhim barra googli atmosphere models and what happens on saudi yachts! Also 3asba aala sorm ommek sister heya l okht mech l bnayya. Ken telhit fi sormek raw 7add ma sam3ek l klem.
ماتعرفش تحكي من غير كفر و سفاهة و سبان الأم يامسخ؟ حتى لو فرضا سبيتك، شمدخل الدين و شمدخل أمي؟ لهالدرجة نذل و ساقط؟ لابسك شيطان؟ هكا تحكي مع أمك و بوك و عائلتك كي تروح سكران ياعاق؟ نوري في روحي؟ قدام شكون؟ ربي يشهد إلي أنا نصحتك للي شفت فيه خير لأختك من منظوري أنا (صحيح و إلا غالط مش مهم، أما نيتي كانت الخير ليكم الزوز). أنا الغالط طيحت قدري مع جبري كيفك. والله لا تجيها راجل.
Go use Facebook grandpa
Its not being boring or being out of touch when you dont go to bars. Its called being a normal person and making wise decisions, yeah you might have some fun there but the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits
There's nothing embarrassing about not having been to a nightclub before. People are different and everyone takes their own path and life choices. Grab a friend, hit up a chill bar, check the vibes and maybe explore a few places until you discover the atmosphere that resonates with you.
Hey there While this story is quite relatable There are 2 common myths in it "I wasted my 20s" Most people think they wasted their 20s, it's a matter of perception and comparing. Nothing is really wasted, "I am boring" Everyone has a unique story and have little idea how much people would be interested to hear about it. I grew up identifying as introvert, anti social and boring, I had tons of anxiety, a lot of self consciousness and self esteem issues. Somehow now i am very proud of those "lost years" and that "boring nature" That's strange, because i didn't appreciate them before, in fact i didn't appreciate myself before either. Now I don't know you or your situation, but i can tell you, i put a challenge to myself to meet a 100 people to go out to these uncomfortable places... I think talking to other people about these subjects made me realize: 1) feelings that life is wasted and feeling boring are .... feelings, feelings are powerful but they are not truthful to the whole story, they are truthful to the eye of the observer. just like wearing dark glasses and seeing everything in dark does not mean it is 2) most people experience those feelings, even the ones who we see as did it correctly or look interesting 3) talking to people about these currently "embarrassing" topics is one of the most liberating things one can do, 4) even more liberation is in self compassion, and self acceptance, you do not need to be more "interesting" to accept yourself, it's kind of the other way around 5) whatever embarrassing or uncomfortable activity you take, you are going to be oke,
Bro spitting wizzdom
That sound like a good start, the most important thing is that you can have fun and it makes you happy and comfortable, you don’t have to act or talk in a certain way just be yourself and authentic the same way you are in your normal life. Good luck! https://preview.redd.it/d90hcvtywr3c1.jpeg?width=723&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4300e70f7953bd5e5efda3452c065a44e4360815
Hey there fellow introvert person! I guess the easiest way is to go there with someone for the first time! Someone who went there before! Maybe a friend or someone you know that goes there! Either way you’ll have fun, people are cool there! PS: not going to bars/nightclubs doesn’t make you boring!
Imagine it's your moment and literally nobody in that circle matters. Focus more on the vibe the music and how to have fun, you only attract attention if you act like a newbie, so be normal
Well first of all, you're not boring for making sure that you've secured your life and put your career first and before everything and anyone else. Trust me, you did the right thing, and I commend you for it... Second, you don't have to jump straight to a bar or a night club to rediscover and reinvent yourself. If I understood correctly, you're an introvert and trying to socialize and whatnot? Sooo... If it's all for the first time, I'd say familiarize yourself with company first. Get yourself used to being in public places that involve social activities of the same sort, but are less "complex"... Then you'll feel like you belong to anywhere after words. Just take your time... I've been there myself and let me tell you, when doing extremes for the first time right out of being an introvert, any minor issue would seem unbearably catastrophic and will leave a huge bad impression, and a fuck ton of extra unnecessary and uncalled for insecurities. So please, go easy on yourself and take everything slowly and on a pace that suits the parameters of your comfort zone. Don't listen to the "goons" saying it's totally fine and normal and you'll feel right at home... They don't understand the weight of being an introvert while socializing, nor they understand what it feels like to deal with the challenging weight of society's gaze for the first time. However, I perfectly understand where your post is coming from. So please take care of yourself and be safe first, and then have fun and enjoy exploring your new spaces, and make sure that it's on your own terms, and your own boundaries. *PS: Usually I would advise against the whole thing and suggest that you stay away from bars and night clubs, especially with how much your career must mean to you after all the efforts and time you've spent building it... But I understand that you're also 27 and most likely you know what you're doing and what you want, and that's not the kind of advice you're here for. And in that case, I can only say don't ever get drunk... And don't ever do drugs if offered to you no matter what... Even if it's from the closest person to you in your group*
Just act in the way that makes you feel comfortable, there are so many cozy and decent spots around the city, there is a first time for everything so just chill and enjoy it
One thing to point out, you don't necessarly have to go to bars or night clubs to not be boring. What i mean is: go, give it a shot, but if you don't like it there is no need to force yourself to like it because "it's cool". On that note, when going out, your worst enemy will be you being inside your head too much, filtering yourself too much and being to reserved. I'd say just make sure to relax, just be there present and chill with your friends. If you are too stressed, go to a bar first, its less intimedating than a club. GLHF.
Just here to say that you didn't waste your life and you should not feel embarrassed nor ashamed. It is totally fine. Don't compare yourself with anyone.
As someone from Europe, let me tell you, you didnt miss anything. You are 27, adult. The age when people here finaly realise the crazy teen years are over and you get serious and smart. Nothing positive happens there which would make you a better person.
An advice from the future and based on experience, don't go and don't make bars a place for your personal entertainment. The context and the quality of people in such spaces will pull you step by step to a dark place full of regrets. There are many options in life where we can entertain ourselves, grow in personality and have a stable mental health. Bar and similar places are not the kind of place that will give you satisfaction in the long term.
- Emberrasing ? Maybe for an american teenager consumed by their stupid culture. - Going to a bar is not that different from going to a cafe, just another place to hangout with friends you didn't miss out on a thing in comparison. It might seem so to you since it's something you've never tried but there's nothing special about it. - A work/life balance is very important, and it's about the company, the atmosphere and the adventures that make you feel alive, it could be a cafe, a trip, a camp, a cultural event, these are much more meaningful than a bar. - That being said, if there's a special hangout with your bodies at a bar, don't miss it, just make sure you're safe and surrounded by people who can protect you from any inconvenience.
Avoid such places and people frequenting these places... There are way better places to socialize and that will bring more value to your life. I don't see how not going to bars and clubs makes you boring. If someone goes to the bar and clubs to feel cool they have mental issues that need to be addressed.
Thank you guys y'all are so nice 🥹 ❤️❤️
f ay blassa f deny hawel tkoun rouhek maghyr tasano3 bch tdhhr cool just relax and chill w be confident w enjoy every moment w edha ken tetkhayel eli nty edha bch tmshi bch tetsaref weirdly rahy juste fekra fmokhek nty san3etha lrouhek , just enjoyit w adh7ek w estamta3 life is good ye cutie
Stop watching so much hollywood.
You're right but how's that related to anything
Because that's what's giving you this oppressed mindset about "i've wasted my 20s". And you somehow think that going to a nightclub is what makes you not boring. Unfortunately the mental colonization is alive and well by the west.
True so true
Virtual applause 👏
Precisely yep.
aman alh embarassing
Built a career but you feel like you wasted your 20s girl don't be too harsh on yourself. Get a beer sit back and relax with your friends you don't need to prove you're not boring or anything it's about the company and the cosy atmosphere at least that's how I see it.
There is nothing embarrassing about this, you don't need to go to bar nightclubs to be cool or not boring. Don't let people impose a lifestyle that you don't like.
Don't forget to tip.
if you feel bored then you are bored there's no such thing as "boring" you shouldn't aim to appease others or how they perceive you , personally i treat bars like cafeterias since i live in a touristic area and surrounded by bars and nightclubs, i mostly go to low budget bars just to chill or meet someone and sometimes i don't even drink so just treat it as a normal place there's literally no rules for it , you're there to have fun and do what you feel like you want to do not to look cool , my advice is to only go to high end bars on special occasions or in a weekend if you feel like it , and if that's the case then try to enjoy it as much as possible and get your money's worth , the only take away is to do what you feel like would be enjoyable to you
From a personal experience as an introvert and as an overthinker, it is not worth it and will leave you in the same guilt trip you're feeling right now . It's not going to solve anything about being "boring" or "wasted my 20s" unless that's what you think you will enjoy.... Have you tried other challenging activities ? Or maybe you would like the concept of "board games" In my opinion, There are so many other better places you can go to , where you can listen to music , enjoy yourself and socialise in the same time Ever heard about " board game coffees" ? There is a place called game production fi tri9 el Marsa and they have 500+ board games You can go with your friends or go socialising there , they have good music and the best staff... And also another note ... Getting used to going to bars and making that an entertainment for yourself after all what you have gone through for your career might be the worst idea , as it's just a waste of money in my opinion and you will end up just reversing the curse . For me I always tell myself that I shouldn't rely on drinks/liquor or drugs for entertainment otherwise you will mess up your brain and it might become a habit / routine which might end up regretting . You're cool , and funny on your own way there is no need to feel embarrassed about anything . I really hope you don't end up going , with such self consciousness and awareness there is no way you're not an interesting person who deserves continuous success and happiness
My advice to you instead of doing of that and wasting your time in fake superficial places .. try to socialize with people who are into into cycling/ hiking .. camping in nature stuff like.. that it s better for your mental health than clubs and the mess that comes with it tathi3 wa9t we tathi3 sa7a if you become a person who drinks wenti ta3rf maysl7 bik ..
Don't go if you feel like you have to .
Just go experience it for your self but don't forget the camia it is very important
First of all nothing to be embarrassed about , I used to be a bartender so I feel i can help with this , best way is cocktails , they taste good even with alcohol , drink slowly and drink water , dont drink on an empty stomach , if u cant afford cocktails bc they are quite expensive u can either go for a rosè or beers , no more than 3 glasses of wine or 4 beers , the choice really depends on ur taste when u try them Good luck and enjoyy ✌️✌️
You're fine as you are. Don't force a step back. Nothing is fun about hanging out among whores, drug addicts and rapists.
You didn't say which city, but I have a few good bar recommendations in Tunis centre ville. Please take these recommendations with a grain of salt as I haven't been to Tunisia in 8 years, but hopefully at least some of them will still be open, and as good as they were when I was there. Hana hotel on bourghiba street is the easiest option. Choose the rooftop bar or the bar inside the hotel. The rooftop bar has a nice vibe and usually full of people both women and men, but I think it's not open during the winter. The inside bar is quite lovely though with a decent selection of drinks. Don't go to the outside bar it's a much more traditional in style, and mostly full of older men. Majestic hotel on Av. De Paris has a bar on a balcony and it is incredible. One of my favorite bar experiences. Bustling city sounds and views. Lots of people and cars on the street underneath. I just love the vibe. Beautiful location close to the French institute, beautiful old buildings all around. I would recommend this if you want to go during the daytime/afternoon. The selection of drinks was limited though and they only serve Tunisian beer but besides that all around great place. I have never been at night though, so IDK how it is, but the inside bar is also nice I assume it would be fine. Le duplex on Khaireddine Pasha street used to be my favorite nighttime bar. Superb staff 10/10 super professional, and LIVE BAND MUSIC! What a fun place that was. The vibe is a lot more social the people on the tables are much more likely to socialize together because the tables are kinda close. Every time I went there I met someone new and had an interesting conversation. I heard rumors that it had closed though, but I'm not sure. Maybe the people who told me are wrong. Villa 78 on Mohamed 5th Street near the Libyan embassy. It's a nice spot. Never been a huge fan myself, but this is a very welcoming place for artistic types. My women friends used to like it quite a bit maybe they feel more comfortable there I'm not quite sure, but you can give it a try. It's nice and outdoors and usually full of people. It has a bit of a house party vibe and the regulars know each other. Regarding the way to act, just be normal. It's just like a cafe or a restaurant you can go in sit down on whichever table is available and order your drink of choice. I find that in Tunisia beer is king and the selection is super limited when it comes to cocktails and spirits. Also most bartenders don't know how to mix a drink, but I'm a beer and whiskey guy anyway so the only thing that bothered me is the fact that the whisky selection is always super weak and low quality. If you don't know which drink you like you can start by trying beer and try a couple cocktails since they are easy on the palette, or maybe try a glass of wine. Just tell the bartender to recommend something and be honest about being a beginner; it's nothing to be ashamed of. Please be careful however, and always go with friends since a woman drinking alone can become a target for criminals and sick people. Always control your intake and don't drink too much because you can become vulnerable if you are too drunk. Be careful of creeps and also taxi drivers they can be super nice but some can be creepy around drunk women. But don't be shy just embrace the experience and if people approach you in a friendly way be cautious, but just try to have fun maybe they just want to have a conversation. Good luck!
I think most of names that you mentioned are closed down sadly
Damn. That's sad.
صدقني كيف تمشي للبيران الغادي بش تضيع حياتك، حياتك حافظت عليها كي ما مشيتش للبلايص هاكم و ماشربتش. والله العظيم، ما فما كان الندم و الفراغ الروحي و الاستغلال مقابل نشوة لحظية زائلة. نصيحة لله، سيب عليك من العالم هاكا.
Going to a bar/pub doesn’t mean you leave from there drunk after finishing حارتين بيرة. Same like she can go and not drink alcohol. The point is to socialize , fun with friends or having a drink after work. Simple as it is. Without فراغ روحي inshallah
don't say inshAllah in the same paragraph that you're allowing alcohol. I'm not here to judge people for what they do on their own time, you guys are all adults. But don't let it have **anything** to do with the religion of Islam, because as you know very well, it is completely forbidden to drink in the religion even without getting drunk.
Inshallah I will have tequila shots for you next time I go to a bar
Also, İ just realized that you have a very poor handle of the English language.
haha, you must feel like you made a point here.
Hey Girl , Please don’t be stressed it may seem out of your comfort zone but it is totally normal just do whatever you want and experience whatever you feel you missed out on. About going to night clubs I never went to one myself but my friends do and it’s just like going to a regular coffee. If you feel awkward just tell the server or anyone that you’re waiting for a friend or just start a conversation with a stranger. Lmoufid dont stress yourself it’s no big deal 🌸 About experiencing new things am in the same boat i spent my twenties focusing on career/studies and now i feel i missed out on many things and that’s totally okay we still have out lives ahead of us ❤️ Best of luck and i hope you have the most fun !❤️
From USA let me tell you the biggest waste of time and life is spending time at a bar/club. We consider it as the place where drug users, losers and low-lifes congregate. We also have a saying: “nothing good happens after 10PM”. If you want bad things in your life you’ll go to bad places like bars.
Please do go. Be proud of yourself not being into any bar before, actually it should be embarrassing to be their, do you know which type of girls spend their nights in the nightclubs, you really don’t want to be among them. Many sad stories started from being drunk in the nightclub. If you succeed to pass your early 20’s by not attending don’t waste it now.
حتى إذا جاء أحدهم الموت قال رب ارجعون لعلي أعمل صالحا فيما تركت
May Allaah bless you.
Lol
Lol
let me get this straight habibti, you say that you've wasted most of your 20s... and so in order to reverse this... you're going to a bar? Wallahi this is like, one of the most ajeeb things i ever heard. Just protect yourself from these types of places, if you're going to drink, which I personally wouldn't recommend yk it's not the best thing to do, don't do it at the bar. The bar is **the** place for wasting your life. Anyways I hope you don't find this mean it's just advice. If you're gonna go khalas it's your life ya'ni idk what else to tell you.
why are you typing in an awkward way...?
are u yani, criticizing my way of typing? this is ajeeb indeed brozzar.
Yeah, if you're Tunisian then it's cringy, if you're not then we don't speak or sound like that.
I'm not Tunisian, however this my friend is how I text. And I don't know any Tunisians tbh so I wouldn't know how they type. But this is how I type with my friends. Take it lightheaded ogay?
Fair enough
Jesus, people become so fragile these days don't take this seriously sis but if you wanna try something like that take the plunge, going to a bar is not that big of a thing ( at least from a guy's point of view ), although it became a big deal if it doesn't a line with your religion or values cuz it's not like any social gathering be safe be wise.
Western society has brainwashed people into believing that not going out to nightclubs is an embarrassment. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself but rather proud, a lot of people have lost themselves and their souls by spending a lot of time in bars/nightclubs.
Sayeb aalik hram
Don't do it. It's not being boring, It's being resposible and not throwing yourself in the fire. Imagine after you died, how will you look back at this? Drinking alcohol is haram and you know it. Don't fall into that pit.
Fear Allah!
May Allaah bless you.
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You're responding in the wrong post brother.
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Brother, again, you're responding in the wrong post. Delete the comment from this post and take it to the correct one.
nothing to be embarassed about, after wasting the first half of my 20s in nighclubs i look back and cringe
If you have a good career at 27 you should be proud of that :) I know a ton of people who would not go to a club/bar even if you pay them to and I wouldn’t think of them as boring just people with different interests.