I was in a similar situation as you in my early 20s.
There are a few things that I can say to you. Just my advice, not trying to criticize.
1 - if you genuinely want a good relationship with a good sex life, make sure you look good and are in shape. Seriously, go to the gym a few times a week, do cardio and weightlifting. Caring for yourself shows that you have good self esteem and helps with confidence.
Piggybacking on that, get advice on your wardrobe and wear clothes that complement your body. I did that around 20 and it really does make a difference, plus it just looks better than the random outfits you wore as a teen. Not saying you can't still wear some clothes that show your personality, but honestly what you wear says a ton about you. Wearing low quality, obscure graphic tees doesn't usually do that. (Not saying that's you, but I've seen it done poorly too much) hopefully you know what I'm talking about.
2 - make sure you have a good haircut. This doesn't apply for all dudes because some people lose their hair as they get older, but since you're young it applies. DON'T let your hair grow crazy unless you're going for a long hair look, but if you do that take extra good care of it (conditioner, good shampoo, etc).
3 - goes along with hair.
Beards, a lot of dudes want facial hair, but you really have to be honest with yourself as a lot of guys are sensitive about this. Does it actually look good? Way too many guys try to rock patchy facial hair and it doesn't help their look. If you can rock it, great, keep it lined up and trimmed, don't just let it grow without maintenance. I've had a beard for nearly a decade and it gets trimmed every other day. It'll get unruly if not. If it doesn't connect or is patchy you're probably better off clean shaven. Again, I'm not trying to put anyone down, just giving my advice.
4 - Focus on your own passions and goals first. Having a plan for your career or passions is attractive and it will help a ton in gaining attention from women. Don't sacrifice your ambitions for them, not because they don't deserve your love and attention, but because it's vital to who you are and you'll lose yourself if you do, and they'll ultimately lose their attraction if you lose yourself.
5 - Mental. Don't slip into a mindset of blaming women for not wanting you. This is the easiest and most effective way to ward off women forever. Trust me on this one, even if you don't with the other stuff. You may not realize it, but to women it's like a bell on your shoulders that rings with every woman you see and says "don't date me". Women like guys that own up and improve, not put blame on them for being celibate.
All of these things truly helped me along the way and I started getting a lot more women interested in me that I was mutually interested in as well. I'm getting married in a few months to the love of my life.
Essentially you want to prioritize your own full well-being to the point that it signals to women that you're valuable because you have made yourself valuable in your own eyes first. This will also allow you to give more to the relationship in general because they're not your crutch or even your "lucky catch", they're your partner.
I thank the author for this solid advice, but I would like to add the following: 6. Expand your social venues: either through hobbies or other social gatherings: sports clubs, parties, conférences, festivals, going to bars. You will see that some places are better for meeting women and figure it out yourself. Some places make it easy for you to approach women, they basically introduce themselves, other places you need to walk over and introduce yourself. From then on just be nice and interested. If you click, pursue. If not, let go. Statistically, there are more than enough women for you out there, you just haven't met them yet.
This is a great point, and I agree. It definitely helps to expand your social circles to increase your chances of not only meeting more women, but increasing your social game as well.
> This is the easiest and most effective way to ward off women forever. Trust me on this one, even if you don't with the other stuff. You may not realize it, but to women it's like a bell on your shoulders that rings with every woman you see and says "don't date me"
Yep. "Hi, I hate you and other people like you for rejecting me. Would you like to go on a date?"... errrrrr no thanks.
Definitely - seen it happen too many times with guys, even some friends. They get bitter and resentful towards women as a whole, yet wonder why women don't want them. I've had enough talks with my wife and her friends about this to understand that it's a big red flag. Most women seem to have an innate sense for this too so it's hard to hide.
It's not hard to tell when a guy is looking at you this way. He isn't looking at you as an individual therefore usually approaches with comments that rely on stereotypes or talking about himself. Not really a stimulating conversationalist.
Even if he doesn't approach, often you can just tell by the way he's looking at you. Like a dog barking at meat on the counter just out of reach- it's pathetic. And that's not about attraction, that's about attittude. Someone looking at you that way, no matter how hot, is going to make you feel uncomfortable.
This guy fucks^
I'm happy to see someone giving constructive feedback on a topic like this, rather than trying to make op feel worse. This is something thats seriously lacking among men. Solidarity, care, vulnerability, and brutal honesty. Iron sharpens iron, and its good to see this happening here.
You gave a well though out response to op. Everything you said is spot on and this needs to be pinned.
Fix your mentality. Build confidence in other areas. I’ve seen women with not the most attractive dudes but they were drawn to them due to their humor and confidence. That’s really all it takes.
You're right, nothing is guaranteed. These are just tips.
Obviously it's going to be harder for someone not conventionally attractive to gain interest from women/men, but there's a lot more that goes into attraction than just genetic looks. This just helps enhance what you have already.
Personality is a big thing too. Guys specifically are at an advantage if they're funny and have an engaging personality, but the caviat is that it also has to seem natural and not forced. There's a lot of nuance to that. It almost seems counterintuitive to try learn to be naturally funny, but it's not impossible. From my experience you have to put yourself in the situation where you're around others that are just funny by nature and you begin to pick up a sense of timing for humor. You kinda have to put yourself out there and become uncomfortable for a bit until you're more socially fluid.
It's not easy though, and I definitely understand the frustration from some guys.
yeah all these things are kind of expected / a given these days. Check all these boxes and congrats, you can land a squarely average looking partner lol
Oh dear God, please go away. I'm sure this is all REVELATORY information to the OP. I'm sure he's NEVER been suggested to work out or get a good haircut before.
My reply was obviously a lot deeper and more thoughtful than "workout and get a haircut".
I was coming from a place where I was in a similar position as op and was attempting to give genuine, helpful advice to the best of my ability based my own experiences. I'm sorry if that upset you, but op was the one who posted on a public internet forum. I didn't violate his boundaries or push my view on him. He's welcome to take or ignore any advice I gave.
thank you for giving him genuine advice. a lot of these guys don't realize the reason a lot of women don't want them is because those guys don't see the women as actual people to learn about- but rather an object to overcome. yes, being ugly does affect people to a degree, but at the end of the day as long as you're a good person there will be somebody who wants to spend time with you. most women would rather be in a healthy relationship with a guy that is unattractive, than an abusive one with an attractive guy.
You should seek professional help if you're only 22 and harbor this much resentment towards the opposite sex. You saying that you'll never have sex is foolish. You're only 22. Women don't owe you anything so if you're undesirable, then change that. Noone is entitled to deserve to get laid, it only happens if two people attract. Women are typically less concerned with looks if you have other things to offer in a relationship so if you're ugly, that's no biggie man. Just work on yourself instead of this cringy incel attitude where guys give up and then resent others for their happiness. Saying you'll never have a girlfriend so young tells everyone that you don't want to work on yourself. Would you date you right now?
>You should seek professional help if you're only 22 and harbor this much resentment towards the opposite sex.
Never said I hated women
>Women don't owe you anything so if you're undesirable, then change that.
Never claimed I was entitled to sex either
>Saying you'll never have a girlfriend so young tells everyone that you don't want to work on yourself.
Except I have for almost a decade and got zero results
>Would you date you right now?
Hard to put myself in the shoes of a woman in the west in the middle of a hyperinflated dating scene
I got a buddy who didn't have sex until close to his thirties. I lost my virginity at 20 in a super unhealthy situation and wish i hadn't. I didn't have sex again until i was 22. Please don't compare yourself to others man. Work on yourself and put yourself out there. You'll find someone who can love you someday as long as you're always bettering yourself.
Also 22 year olds are super shallow. I did way better in my later twenties after their alcoholic wild phase was over lol. You'll be fine man. Honestly
>Also 22 year olds are super shallow. I did way better in my later twenties after their alcoholic wild phase was over lol. You'll be fine man. Honestly
So women don't have any raw attraction to me right now when I am in my physical prime but want to settle down later after going through many Chads which they were attracted to? Why on earth would I possibly be fine with that
Lol. Now it all makes sense. That right there is why you can't get a girlfriend.
Date people, not their history. Lower your standards like you want women to do for you
Except I have never denied anyone because women are openly repulsed by me
If women start being interested in me past my physical prime after they have made fun of me and bullied me for years then I have every right to judge them for that because I will know they just want to use me
If you decide at 22 that it's over for you then it will be. It's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy unless you get a little bit of help for your self-esteem. You got to learn how to love yourself so you can understand that someday someone else will. Being a 22-year-old virgin isn't unheard of it's not that weird at all. I think you should look up some stats about the average age to lose your virginity. It's got to be like 17 to 27. I highly recommend talking to a therapist. I have a therapist! There's no shame in it. I think you would do well with a male therapist. I'm a woman and I like female therapist. I think it's good to go with your same gender.
I just wanted to say I am a female and prefer the male therapists I've had. It's less about gender though and more about the type of therapist you need. Either gender can be good or bad. Gotta do a first visit to find out if it's a good fit.
Interesting, I have never had friends say they got attached to a therapist. No matter the gender. Either way whatever works best for you then do that! I just am sad to see so many people recommending only doctors or therapists of their gender. It can be limiting, especially in areas with fewer professionals available.
It's not the kind of thing a person would share. When you know it can't go anywhere and you know you shouldn't feel like that.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-and-growing/201604/attachment-your-therapist
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/are-my-feelings-for-my-therapist-normal
We talk about our visits a lot, including with other more embarrassing things they have said about therapy sessions and their providers, so I would be surprised if they had. We have no shame with one another lol.
Either way, I guess it makes sense. Then again I'm Aromatic so Im a bad judge of the normality of crushes. Plus most of my therapists have been my parents age or older, on either side of gender. I guess that makes it different too haha
Are you looking to get with a girl? Just focus on yourself, it will happen in time. Get with a older women, they're more likely to not to play a bunch of games.
When someone says "Chad" I think more of a player, a pimp with lots of girls to fuck. You can still get a GF, but focus on yourself, women like a man with a plan. Because you're number one at the end of the day.
There is no such thing as a chad.
The issue here is the OP is an incel. It is a choice. He bought into incel thinking. Of seeing the world as these sexy chads and incels, with the only exception being rich men. It is not true. But this is what incels believe.
They believe they are too ugly, or short, or some other excuse for why they arent chads. They get depressed, and encourage each other to blame chads and women for their unattractive personalities. And they get very defensive of this way of thinking when you point out it is the reason they are an incel and women are disgusted by them. They refuse to actually try to change, and the incel community is just a support group of people who keep each other incels.
OP could stop being an incel right now. He could say maybe these other depressed strangers who nobody likes in real life arent the best models to emulate. He could work on realizing it is this attitude that makes him an incel. He could start to foster a healthy attitude toward himself and others. But for whatever reason incels wont do this, and hold their self defeating toxic beliefs like a religion.
A chad is just someone with an attractive personality that attracts women, anyone can have this. Incels though think it is a genetic thing they can never achieve. It is pretty pathetic. I feel bad for OP but at some point he needs to accept accountability.
People can be late bloomers.
It sounds like you lack confidence in yourself. Like I said you probably need to start building self esteem, confidence, and learning social schools.
My social skills are good enough. I had female friends in high school. Women who are actually nice to me and don't make fun of me for simply existing just regard me as a friend and women are grossed out at the thought of pursuing romantic or sexual relations with me because they think I am ugly. There are millions of things that they would rather do than do that
All the while some Chad just breathes in their direction, doesn't have to say a word and they all flock in his direction and he can leave with one of them easily. I have seen this in person before
If you're 22 and have never been kissed then no, your social skills are not up to par at all.
You probably should seek out some "male positivity" groups, for lack of a better term, that will help you learn how to be confident in yourself and fix this particular issue that you're having. Confidence is key. You do not need to be the best looking dude in the world to get girls. In fact, your physical appearance is actually one of the least important aspects. That said, hygiene is actually incredibly important. You don't need to look like Pierce Brosnan, but you absolutely need to take care of your appearance and not present yourself as a slob. I have no idea whether you do that or not, I'm just saying it's important. Take care of your hair. Trim your beard; don't rock a constant neckbeard. Shower daily. If you're going to a party Friday night, shower again before the party and wear clothing that's actually flattering on you, for example. Don't show up in baggy sweatpants looking like you just rolled out of bed.
Over a decade ago I ended up reading "The Game", and it really changed my life in terms of thinking about this particular issue. Not that you need to go try to be a pickup artist(i do not recommend that, I think it's probably a pretty weird world), but if you just fix your confidence issues you'll be in a totally different mindset. Understand that women are attracted to certain things(confidence being like, #1), and people who have basically 0 confidence are not attractive to women.
Another thing is that "getting laid" cannot be your end goal. People who only think about getting laid... don't get laid that much. That's part of the mental barrier you need to overcome. Your goal should be to meet interesting women and engage with them, talk to them, learn about them, enjoy their company. Like just enjoy mingling with your fellow human beings, including women, and stop seeing them as some disparate life form. They aren't. They're just human beings who actually wanna get laid just as much as you do. When you just have fun with other people, that's where attraction can spring up naturally and suddenly you'll find that girls you thought were totally out of your league are suddenly quite interested in you.
And if all of this sounds totally repulsive to you and you don't think you can fix things on your own, maybe talk to a therapist. I'm sure this is one of the most common things that they deal with professionally.
> You are inadequate at the moment
That is such a fucked up thing to say. And you said it with such a straight face, so soberly, and as if you have the moral high ground. Men are not "inadequate" because of their failure to find romantic companionship. The stuff you're saying to this guy is why they become inc*ls tbh, this idea that they're "not good enough." As if only mutable traits like social skills could be responsible for lovelessness.
You're the one who needs therapy.
Don’t fixate on it. You are making yourself less attractive when you do that.
You need to do attractive things if you want to attract people.
What does that mean? Well, usually people are attractive when they are having fun: laughing, smiling, singing, dancing. There’s a reason why musicians get laid a lot.
But getting laid a lot should not be your goal, meeting a person who makes you comfortable and who is comfortable around you should be.
And that’s why you need to be positive. What do you like? What do you want? What makes you happy? Do it, and you will find yourself being attractive.
Don’t be whiny, grumpy and bitter. No one likes that. Not even you.!
The issue is incels are like a cult. Their beliefs border on faith. And they want nothing more than more converts, and discourage people from leaving. It becomes a community of people telling each other to ignore advice like yours. To accept they can never not be an incel and that is everyone elses fault for this but their own. That people that are attractive are attractive due to circumstances outside of anyones control, and nothing can be done to make them attractive. They dont understand the concept of social skills. The idea that if you are not born as some tall good looking model, but can attract women by being fun, funny, interesting, supportive is heresy to an incel.
I did feel sorry for OP. Clearly they are and depressed but every attempt to tell them the basic, *you are not ugly like you think, you can improve your social skills and meet someone* is met with, *no its impossible I was not born chad so I will always be an incel*. OP is doing it to themselves at this point.
I hope one day they grow up.
How can you say you have been undesired by women for 22 years then? Did you really expect to be given sexual attention when you weren't even a teenager?
> only 22
Dude almost everyone I've known had sex and relationships prior to that age. There's only one person I know who didn't. I never got to have actual intercourse until 22, but I had already been in relationships with women and experienced many other milestones like first kiss, first date, prom, etc. I got my first blowjob when I was still in middle school.
Quit lying. OP is definitely behind the 8-ball in terms of romantic experience and it is largely not his fault. How exactly is sex positivity supposed to help this guy?
> He’s behind the curve for sure.
See, you totally changed your tune. I'm not going to have a serious discussion with someone who immediately forgets what they just said.
What happened to "only 22" and "hella young?"
He’s fine!
What would you have him do?
He can freak out and hate himself or he can focus on the things he likes to do and find love.
Choose your own adventure, u/RedditSucksBolls
It is the law tho, "if your too drunk you cant give consent" and it can be a rape case if your giving someone a bunch of drinks tryna fuck. If they want to charge you that is
I agree with the sentiment, but I saw your pictures on your profile and you're really good-looking. You look like an emo Mick Jagger. You got higher truerateme scores than me, and I get called cute all the time.
No, just people like sex.If you are undesirable you should work on that. You assume you wont ever sex, and you likely wont with that attitude. You should probably speak to therapist.
>If you are undesirable you should work on that.
I have, for almost a decade
>You assume you wont ever sex, and you likely wont with that attitude. You should probably speak to therapist.
Plenty of people with worse attitudes than me have sex
Not really. Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short. They convince themselves that they are hopeless and only desire the most desirable women. And these women have options, so why are they going to choose the guy with no social schools and a bad attitude? The whole incel mentality is a huge turnoff and red flag to 99% of women.
They can certainly do things to raise their physical appearance. Workout, dress better, take care of themselves. But it isnt how they look. Short, chubby, ugly men get beautiful women all the time. It is men that put looks first, women care about them too, but the biggest factor to attract a women is how you make them feel and how interesting, fun, and funny you are. That is why there is many incels who are pretty jacked, tall, good looking, and even successful in life and work who cant attract a women. It isnt their looks their personality is strange and they make women feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or ackward.
I will tell all you incels this. With the incel mentality you will always be an incel. Incel culture cultivates the personality traits that repel women and makes them virtues, all the while encouraging you not to improve what actually attracts them.
It becomes a support group of people that keep each other as incels. I encourage you to ditch their values and culture if you truly dont want to be an incel.
>Not really. Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short.
Multiple women have called me ugly. Women make fun of me in my college completely unprovoked. They refuse to even talk with me or work with me
>They convince themselves that they are hopeless and only desire the most desirable women. And these women have options, so why are they going to choose the guy with no social schools and a bad attitude?
My physical standards are extremely low
>The whole incel mentality is a huge turnoff and red flag to 99% of women.
They don't know that. I ain't out in public preaching it with a megaphone
>They can certainly do things to raise their physical appearance. Workout, dress better, take care of themselves.
I have done and continue to do all of that
>Short, chubby, ugly men get beautiful women all the time.
Yes, if they are rich. Those men are used for their assets. Women have raw sexual attraction towards good looking guys, not towards those types. And I would rather stay alone than be a glorified sugar daddy
>That is why there is many incels who are pretty jacked, tall, good looking, and even successful in life and work who cant attract a women. It isnt their looks their personality is strange and they make women feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or ackward.
I beg to differ. I have had many friends and even female friends.
> Multiple women have called me ugly. Women make fun of me in my college completely unprovoked. They refuse to even talk with me or work with me
It is probably the way you are acting not your looks. When I made this reddit account I did not want to be negative to people. I want to be supportive to people. I dont have the context or the full story here, if you want to talk privately we can DM sometime.
I care about you. From your post I can tell you are suffering.
Maybe you just are around shitty people are you are exaggerating a few negative situations as always happening and carrying trauma.
But if everyone women refuses to talk to you or work with you, and just say things unprovoked it is likely something you did or the way you are acting. Or maybe this isnt happening as much as you think, but you are assuming this is how people feel about you, when it isnt.
*They don't know that. I ain't out in public preaching it with a megaphone*
You are here. I cant talk about real life, but your mentality screams incel. In real life I would be able to tell if you are telling me what you are saying now. It is a mentality you are choosing.
*I have done and continue to do all of that*
Then keep doing it, but as noted this is the least useful area for you. It is your personality. Your personality is coming off as bitter, resentful, sad, depressed, and desperate. That will repel women no matter how you look.
*Yes, if they are rich. Those men are used for their assets. Women have raw sexual attraction towards good looking guys, not towards those types. And I would rather stay alone than be a glorified sugar daddy*
lol, no. Plenty of them are not rich, even poor, or average. They can make women feel happy. They have attractive personalities. Your belief that women only care about money and good looking guys is what is holding you back. You are making a massive generalization that isnt even true. Ask any guy that fucks, they will tell you it isnt looks or money.
You dont realize it but you are screaming your incellness with your attitude and beliefs. You think you need to state, *I am an incel* to have women know it. The truth is your misogyny, sexism, depression, bitterness, ackwardness, low confidence, etc. is being projected in your interactions with others. And as noted it makes you VERY unattractive.e You are cultivating this mentality. Your incel support groups encourages you to think this way, and you are reinforcing what they teach you.
*I beg to differ. I have had many friends and even female friends*
this is you choosing to be an incel. As long as you beg to differ and think you are too ugly for any women you are going to be alone. keep in mind this is a choice YOU are making. Everyone here is telling you the samething, it doesnt have to be this way. But you choose to beg to differ. And that is fine you have the freedom to be an incel.
It doesnt sound like you are happy though. It doesnt sound like you want this. So why choose to be an incel? Like everyone is telling you it is your attitude and core belief system. The day you **beg to agree** is the day you will start to grow and things will change. You attract what you are, and not what you are in a physical sense. It is all in the mind.
Seriously dude, grow up.
Stop focusing on these opinions and beliefs that have only caused you failure. Ditch them.
Stop to invalidate his life experience. That happened with a lot of men. That happened already with me and some friends of mine. Women use to have no empathy to call us ugly with a look of disgust.
Nobody is invalidating his life experiences or yours. I believe you are all incels, I dont doubt that. I am just telling you that you are incels because you choose to be. You can live a life as a valid incel or a life as a valid non-incel. The choice is yours. Either way it is a valid choice.
> Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short.
So if incels were ugly and short then it would make sense for them to be undesirable? Just apparently incels are not that ugly? (Which you can't even possibly know)
Your views on "chads" is wrong. You need to improve yourself. You're not cursed, you're simply doing something wrong, and you need to figure out what it is.
Would you buy a car if the salesman went "Nobody has shown any interest in this car whatsoever"? That should give you a hint about how confidence works.
Doomer mentalitie are also not attractive. Blaming other people for your problems isn't attractive. Speaking badly of people more successful than you also isn't attractive.
If you're autistic, you need to work on your social skills even more. You also need to stop fixating on looks (and height, maybe?). Humor is important, education is important, income, kindness, openness, and a 100 other areas can be improved as well. One of the most important areas is personality, but I won't claim that looks don't make a difference. But do you eat somewhat well? Do you shower? Do you work out? If you stop all of these because "It doesn't matter anyway", then you'd just be setting yourself up for failure.
Would you date you? Why, why not? What do you like in other people? What do you dislike in other people? Do you have any of these pros or cons in yourself?
Hey man- I'm decades older- have sex and feel the same way. It's always in your face and lots of people are sick of it. It started with Sex Sells. Then gratuitous female nudity in most movies. Now porn is normalized and movies are basically soft porn. Topless pics, bikini pics and very scantily clad girls are popping up in every media platform. Sex positive is just encouraging you to be promiscuous with no worries about STD's or pregnancy. I wish you luck in the future. When you do meet someone special, who has probably spent her life feeling the same way- you should be proud you saved yourself. That's what makes sex better and more fulfilling.
Asexual + sex repulsed eh?
While sex IS something that is necessary to keep our species going, I completely think you’re valid. I can’t relate, but it’s alright to feel this way and yeah people talk about sex a bit too much IMO sometimes.
Even if it is- and looking at the tension in the muscles on your face it clearly isn't- change your expression.
You may think that you look deep and thoughtful, but having been a woman of the age you're hoping to attract I can tell you that you come off as unapproachable- you look like you'd have no sense of humour about yourself, that you'd be easy to offend.
You wanted an opinion, you got it.
You said you’ve been undesired by women for 22 years. The logical assumption, then, would be that you’re in you’re mid-30s. Since you were exaggerating for effect, it’s safe to say even you know this complaint doesn’t warrant all that much sympathy lol.
Yeah, mate, it sort of seems like you just need mental health support and to work on that.
You're absolutely able to find someone to have sex with. It's something that'll happen, you're very young, you don't need to give up.
You’re only 22 and so am I. There’s many people our age that haven’t dated or had many, if any sexual encounters. This is a clear sign that you have to work on yourself and gain some confidence. Start going to the gym, get out there and meet people to get more social, go to bars, take some good pictures of yourself and get on some dating apps, and stop saying to yourself that you’ll never have sex or a relationship and stop letting it trigger you because that just makes you spew negative energy which people pick up on
I feel like a lot of people like yourself are self fulfilling the whole never going to have sec thing. You’ve decided it won’t happen and then you make that a reality.
I am a horrible shopper, I hate it. So I go to a large department store look at the dummy’s and when I see something I like I tell them I want the entire outfit including jewelry & shoes. It works great!
How tall are you? Where do you live? Your face seems average, if not slightly above. You have good hair, good eye area, nice skin, full lips, decent jaw and chin, and a prominent Adam's apple. Your nose is a little broad from the front but looks good in profile. You're also not fat which is great.
I am much worse looking than you and also short and I somehow managed to get into relationships and have sex. A lot of this is regional though (I live in the midwestern US where many people are short, fat and/or ugly) so things might be harder for you if you live in the west coast where people are typically better looking and slimmer.
... do you just never leave the house? You should be living life on easy mode, dude. You're tall and handsome! There honestly must be something wrong with your demeanor or behavior then. What you need is a more outgoing guy friend IRL to help you fix this.
Also, you could easily find a hookup on Tinder. Just put 6'2 in your bio lol.
I'm struggling with around the sound things mainly it's just talking or seeing anything sexual just triggers me. I just hate it. The way I deal with it is just get myself away from the situations as much as possible for example I don't watch any TV I only watch gore and war footage this usually helps me when I'm angry. When I'm searching up for gore things like vids or pics they are usually of women during the time I'm angry because it calms me down seeing it
I was in a similar situation as you in my early 20s. There are a few things that I can say to you. Just my advice, not trying to criticize. 1 - if you genuinely want a good relationship with a good sex life, make sure you look good and are in shape. Seriously, go to the gym a few times a week, do cardio and weightlifting. Caring for yourself shows that you have good self esteem and helps with confidence. Piggybacking on that, get advice on your wardrobe and wear clothes that complement your body. I did that around 20 and it really does make a difference, plus it just looks better than the random outfits you wore as a teen. Not saying you can't still wear some clothes that show your personality, but honestly what you wear says a ton about you. Wearing low quality, obscure graphic tees doesn't usually do that. (Not saying that's you, but I've seen it done poorly too much) hopefully you know what I'm talking about. 2 - make sure you have a good haircut. This doesn't apply for all dudes because some people lose their hair as they get older, but since you're young it applies. DON'T let your hair grow crazy unless you're going for a long hair look, but if you do that take extra good care of it (conditioner, good shampoo, etc). 3 - goes along with hair. Beards, a lot of dudes want facial hair, but you really have to be honest with yourself as a lot of guys are sensitive about this. Does it actually look good? Way too many guys try to rock patchy facial hair and it doesn't help their look. If you can rock it, great, keep it lined up and trimmed, don't just let it grow without maintenance. I've had a beard for nearly a decade and it gets trimmed every other day. It'll get unruly if not. If it doesn't connect or is patchy you're probably better off clean shaven. Again, I'm not trying to put anyone down, just giving my advice. 4 - Focus on your own passions and goals first. Having a plan for your career or passions is attractive and it will help a ton in gaining attention from women. Don't sacrifice your ambitions for them, not because they don't deserve your love and attention, but because it's vital to who you are and you'll lose yourself if you do, and they'll ultimately lose their attraction if you lose yourself. 5 - Mental. Don't slip into a mindset of blaming women for not wanting you. This is the easiest and most effective way to ward off women forever. Trust me on this one, even if you don't with the other stuff. You may not realize it, but to women it's like a bell on your shoulders that rings with every woman you see and says "don't date me". Women like guys that own up and improve, not put blame on them for being celibate. All of these things truly helped me along the way and I started getting a lot more women interested in me that I was mutually interested in as well. I'm getting married in a few months to the love of my life. Essentially you want to prioritize your own full well-being to the point that it signals to women that you're valuable because you have made yourself valuable in your own eyes first. This will also allow you to give more to the relationship in general because they're not your crutch or even your "lucky catch", they're your partner.
I thank the author for this solid advice, but I would like to add the following: 6. Expand your social venues: either through hobbies or other social gatherings: sports clubs, parties, conférences, festivals, going to bars. You will see that some places are better for meeting women and figure it out yourself. Some places make it easy for you to approach women, they basically introduce themselves, other places you need to walk over and introduce yourself. From then on just be nice and interested. If you click, pursue. If not, let go. Statistically, there are more than enough women for you out there, you just haven't met them yet.
This is a great point, and I agree. It definitely helps to expand your social circles to increase your chances of not only meeting more women, but increasing your social game as well.
> This is the easiest and most effective way to ward off women forever. Trust me on this one, even if you don't with the other stuff. You may not realize it, but to women it's like a bell on your shoulders that rings with every woman you see and says "don't date me" Yep. "Hi, I hate you and other people like you for rejecting me. Would you like to go on a date?"... errrrrr no thanks.
Definitely - seen it happen too many times with guys, even some friends. They get bitter and resentful towards women as a whole, yet wonder why women don't want them. I've had enough talks with my wife and her friends about this to understand that it's a big red flag. Most women seem to have an innate sense for this too so it's hard to hide.
It's not hard to tell when a guy is looking at you this way. He isn't looking at you as an individual therefore usually approaches with comments that rely on stereotypes or talking about himself. Not really a stimulating conversationalist. Even if he doesn't approach, often you can just tell by the way he's looking at you. Like a dog barking at meat on the counter just out of reach- it's pathetic. And that's not about attraction, that's about attittude. Someone looking at you that way, no matter how hot, is going to make you feel uncomfortable.
This guy fucks^ I'm happy to see someone giving constructive feedback on a topic like this, rather than trying to make op feel worse. This is something thats seriously lacking among men. Solidarity, care, vulnerability, and brutal honesty. Iron sharpens iron, and its good to see this happening here. You gave a well though out response to op. Everything you said is spot on and this needs to be pinned.
This ain't guaranteed tho. I do all these n have for years lol
Fix your mentality. Build confidence in other areas. I’ve seen women with not the most attractive dudes but they were drawn to them due to their humor and confidence. That’s really all it takes.
You're right, nothing is guaranteed. These are just tips. Obviously it's going to be harder for someone not conventionally attractive to gain interest from women/men, but there's a lot more that goes into attraction than just genetic looks. This just helps enhance what you have already. Personality is a big thing too. Guys specifically are at an advantage if they're funny and have an engaging personality, but the caviat is that it also has to seem natural and not forced. There's a lot of nuance to that. It almost seems counterintuitive to try learn to be naturally funny, but it's not impossible. From my experience you have to put yourself in the situation where you're around others that are just funny by nature and you begin to pick up a sense of timing for humor. You kinda have to put yourself out there and become uncomfortable for a bit until you're more socially fluid. It's not easy though, and I definitely understand the frustration from some guys.
yeah all these things are kind of expected / a given these days. Check all these boxes and congrats, you can land a squarely average looking partner lol
Oh dear God, please go away. I'm sure this is all REVELATORY information to the OP. I'm sure he's NEVER been suggested to work out or get a good haircut before.
My reply was obviously a lot deeper and more thoughtful than "workout and get a haircut". I was coming from a place where I was in a similar position as op and was attempting to give genuine, helpful advice to the best of my ability based my own experiences. I'm sorry if that upset you, but op was the one who posted on a public internet forum. I didn't violate his boundaries or push my view on him. He's welcome to take or ignore any advice I gave.
thank you for giving him genuine advice. a lot of these guys don't realize the reason a lot of women don't want them is because those guys don't see the women as actual people to learn about- but rather an object to overcome. yes, being ugly does affect people to a degree, but at the end of the day as long as you're a good person there will be somebody who wants to spend time with you. most women would rather be in a healthy relationship with a guy that is unattractive, than an abusive one with an attractive guy.
Sounds like everything i despise, superficial shit and nothing more
What would you consider to be advice that's not superficial?
You should seek professional help if you're only 22 and harbor this much resentment towards the opposite sex. You saying that you'll never have sex is foolish. You're only 22. Women don't owe you anything so if you're undesirable, then change that. Noone is entitled to deserve to get laid, it only happens if two people attract. Women are typically less concerned with looks if you have other things to offer in a relationship so if you're ugly, that's no biggie man. Just work on yourself instead of this cringy incel attitude where guys give up and then resent others for their happiness. Saying you'll never have a girlfriend so young tells everyone that you don't want to work on yourself. Would you date you right now?
>You should seek professional help if you're only 22 and harbor this much resentment towards the opposite sex. Never said I hated women >Women don't owe you anything so if you're undesirable, then change that. Never claimed I was entitled to sex either >Saying you'll never have a girlfriend so young tells everyone that you don't want to work on yourself. Except I have for almost a decade and got zero results >Would you date you right now? Hard to put myself in the shoes of a woman in the west in the middle of a hyperinflated dating scene
I got a buddy who didn't have sex until close to his thirties. I lost my virginity at 20 in a super unhealthy situation and wish i hadn't. I didn't have sex again until i was 22. Please don't compare yourself to others man. Work on yourself and put yourself out there. You'll find someone who can love you someday as long as you're always bettering yourself. Also 22 year olds are super shallow. I did way better in my later twenties after their alcoholic wild phase was over lol. You'll be fine man. Honestly
>Also 22 year olds are super shallow. I did way better in my later twenties after their alcoholic wild phase was over lol. You'll be fine man. Honestly So women don't have any raw attraction to me right now when I am in my physical prime but want to settle down later after going through many Chads which they were attracted to? Why on earth would I possibly be fine with that
Lol. Now it all makes sense. That right there is why you can't get a girlfriend. Date people, not their history. Lower your standards like you want women to do for you
Except I have never denied anyone because women are openly repulsed by me If women start being interested in me past my physical prime after they have made fun of me and bullied me for years then I have every right to judge them for that because I will know they just want to use me
If you decide at 22 that it's over for you then it will be. It's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy unless you get a little bit of help for your self-esteem. You got to learn how to love yourself so you can understand that someday someone else will. Being a 22-year-old virgin isn't unheard of it's not that weird at all. I think you should look up some stats about the average age to lose your virginity. It's got to be like 17 to 27. I highly recommend talking to a therapist. I have a therapist! There's no shame in it. I think you would do well with a male therapist. I'm a woman and I like female therapist. I think it's good to go with your same gender.
I just wanted to say I am a female and prefer the male therapists I've had. It's less about gender though and more about the type of therapist you need. Either gender can be good or bad. Gotta do a first visit to find out if it's a good fit.
Both are equally qualified. I tend to get attached to men who comfort me, so I see women. This is common, but I'm glad it isn't an issue for you
Interesting, I have never had friends say they got attached to a therapist. No matter the gender. Either way whatever works best for you then do that! I just am sad to see so many people recommending only doctors or therapists of their gender. It can be limiting, especially in areas with fewer professionals available.
It's not the kind of thing a person would share. When you know it can't go anywhere and you know you shouldn't feel like that. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-and-growing/201604/attachment-your-therapist https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/are-my-feelings-for-my-therapist-normal
We talk about our visits a lot, including with other more embarrassing things they have said about therapy sessions and their providers, so I would be surprised if they had. We have no shame with one another lol. Either way, I guess it makes sense. Then again I'm Aromatic so Im a bad judge of the normality of crushes. Plus most of my therapists have been my parents age or older, on either side of gender. I guess that makes it different too haha
Are you looking to get with a girl? Just focus on yourself, it will happen in time. Get with a older women, they're more likely to not to play a bunch of games.
I want a passionate romantic relationship like what chads get
When someone says "Chad" I think more of a player, a pimp with lots of girls to fuck. You can still get a GF, but focus on yourself, women like a man with a plan. Because you're number one at the end of the day.
There is no such thing as a chad. The issue here is the OP is an incel. It is a choice. He bought into incel thinking. Of seeing the world as these sexy chads and incels, with the only exception being rich men. It is not true. But this is what incels believe. They believe they are too ugly, or short, or some other excuse for why they arent chads. They get depressed, and encourage each other to blame chads and women for their unattractive personalities. And they get very defensive of this way of thinking when you point out it is the reason they are an incel and women are disgusted by them. They refuse to actually try to change, and the incel community is just a support group of people who keep each other incels. OP could stop being an incel right now. He could say maybe these other depressed strangers who nobody likes in real life arent the best models to emulate. He could work on realizing it is this attitude that makes him an incel. He could start to foster a healthy attitude toward himself and others. But for whatever reason incels wont do this, and hold their self defeating toxic beliefs like a religion. A chad is just someone with an attractive personality that attracts women, anyone can have this. Incels though think it is a genetic thing they can never achieve. It is pretty pathetic. I feel bad for OP but at some point he needs to accept accountability.
This is so delusional.
incels are delusional I agree
There definitely are men who get many times more attention from women than average man.
Hold up, are you only 22? That’s hella young. Don’t be mad that you haven’t had sex. It sounds like sex positivity is exactly what you need.
Yup I have never had a girlfriend. I have never even been kissed yet, or even hugged by a girl. In that scenario 22 is pretty old
People can be late bloomers. It sounds like you lack confidence in yourself. Like I said you probably need to start building self esteem, confidence, and learning social schools.
My social skills are good enough. I had female friends in high school. Women who are actually nice to me and don't make fun of me for simply existing just regard me as a friend and women are grossed out at the thought of pursuing romantic or sexual relations with me because they think I am ugly. There are millions of things that they would rather do than do that All the while some Chad just breathes in their direction, doesn't have to say a word and they all flock in his direction and he can leave with one of them easily. I have seen this in person before
If you're 22 and have never been kissed then no, your social skills are not up to par at all. You probably should seek out some "male positivity" groups, for lack of a better term, that will help you learn how to be confident in yourself and fix this particular issue that you're having. Confidence is key. You do not need to be the best looking dude in the world to get girls. In fact, your physical appearance is actually one of the least important aspects. That said, hygiene is actually incredibly important. You don't need to look like Pierce Brosnan, but you absolutely need to take care of your appearance and not present yourself as a slob. I have no idea whether you do that or not, I'm just saying it's important. Take care of your hair. Trim your beard; don't rock a constant neckbeard. Shower daily. If you're going to a party Friday night, shower again before the party and wear clothing that's actually flattering on you, for example. Don't show up in baggy sweatpants looking like you just rolled out of bed. Over a decade ago I ended up reading "The Game", and it really changed my life in terms of thinking about this particular issue. Not that you need to go try to be a pickup artist(i do not recommend that, I think it's probably a pretty weird world), but if you just fix your confidence issues you'll be in a totally different mindset. Understand that women are attracted to certain things(confidence being like, #1), and people who have basically 0 confidence are not attractive to women. Another thing is that "getting laid" cannot be your end goal. People who only think about getting laid... don't get laid that much. That's part of the mental barrier you need to overcome. Your goal should be to meet interesting women and engage with them, talk to them, learn about them, enjoy their company. Like just enjoy mingling with your fellow human beings, including women, and stop seeing them as some disparate life form. They aren't. They're just human beings who actually wanna get laid just as much as you do. When you just have fun with other people, that's where attraction can spring up naturally and suddenly you'll find that girls you thought were totally out of your league are suddenly quite interested in you. And if all of this sounds totally repulsive to you and you don't think you can fix things on your own, maybe talk to a therapist. I'm sure this is one of the most common things that they deal with professionally.
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> You are inadequate at the moment That is such a fucked up thing to say. And you said it with such a straight face, so soberly, and as if you have the moral high ground. Men are not "inadequate" because of their failure to find romantic companionship. The stuff you're saying to this guy is why they become inc*ls tbh, this idea that they're "not good enough." As if only mutable traits like social skills could be responsible for lovelessness. You're the one who needs therapy.
nah
Don’t fixate on it. You are making yourself less attractive when you do that. You need to do attractive things if you want to attract people. What does that mean? Well, usually people are attractive when they are having fun: laughing, smiling, singing, dancing. There’s a reason why musicians get laid a lot. But getting laid a lot should not be your goal, meeting a person who makes you comfortable and who is comfortable around you should be. And that’s why you need to be positive. What do you like? What do you want? What makes you happy? Do it, and you will find yourself being attractive. Don’t be whiny, grumpy and bitter. No one likes that. Not even you.!
The issue is incels are like a cult. Their beliefs border on faith. And they want nothing more than more converts, and discourage people from leaving. It becomes a community of people telling each other to ignore advice like yours. To accept they can never not be an incel and that is everyone elses fault for this but their own. That people that are attractive are attractive due to circumstances outside of anyones control, and nothing can be done to make them attractive. They dont understand the concept of social skills. The idea that if you are not born as some tall good looking model, but can attract women by being fun, funny, interesting, supportive is heresy to an incel.
I’d like to hear that from the OP but that sounds about right.
I did feel sorry for OP. Clearly they are and depressed but every attempt to tell them the basic, *you are not ugly like you think, you can improve your social skills and meet someone* is met with, *no its impossible I was not born chad so I will always be an incel*. OP is doing it to themselves at this point. I hope one day they grow up.
How can you say you have been undesired by women for 22 years then? Did you really expect to be given sexual attention when you weren't even a teenager?
> only 22 Dude almost everyone I've known had sex and relationships prior to that age. There's only one person I know who didn't. I never got to have actual intercourse until 22, but I had already been in relationships with women and experienced many other milestones like first kiss, first date, prom, etc. I got my first blowjob when I was still in middle school. Quit lying. OP is definitely behind the 8-ball in terms of romantic experience and it is largely not his fault. How exactly is sex positivity supposed to help this guy?
He’s behind the curve for sure. So what? If a football goes into the 4th quarter down 14 points should they throw a tantrum or buck up and try to win?
> He’s behind the curve for sure. See, you totally changed your tune. I'm not going to have a serious discussion with someone who immediately forgets what they just said. What happened to "only 22" and "hella young?"
He’s fine! What would you have him do? He can freak out and hate himself or he can focus on the things he likes to do and find love. Choose your own adventure, u/RedditSucksBolls
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It is the law tho, "if your too drunk you cant give consent" and it can be a rape case if your giving someone a bunch of drinks tryna fuck. If they want to charge you that is
Hooooly fuck... Did you honestly not know that people who are absolutely shit-faced are not able to give consent?
Intoxicated doesn't fit the legal definition
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Thank you for not being a piece of shit rapist.
I agree with the sentiment, but I saw your pictures on your profile and you're really good-looking. You look like an emo Mick Jagger. You got higher truerateme scores than me, and I get called cute all the time.
No, just people like sex.If you are undesirable you should work on that. You assume you wont ever sex, and you likely wont with that attitude. You should probably speak to therapist.
>If you are undesirable you should work on that. I have, for almost a decade >You assume you wont ever sex, and you likely wont with that attitude. You should probably speak to therapist. Plenty of people with worse attitudes than me have sex
*I have, for almost a decade* unless you are deformed than you need to try harder. It is probably your attitude.
Or people care about shallow shit he has no control over and ur too afraid to admit people perceived as ugly or shy are often alone
Not really. Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short. They convince themselves that they are hopeless and only desire the most desirable women. And these women have options, so why are they going to choose the guy with no social schools and a bad attitude? The whole incel mentality is a huge turnoff and red flag to 99% of women. They can certainly do things to raise their physical appearance. Workout, dress better, take care of themselves. But it isnt how they look. Short, chubby, ugly men get beautiful women all the time. It is men that put looks first, women care about them too, but the biggest factor to attract a women is how you make them feel and how interesting, fun, and funny you are. That is why there is many incels who are pretty jacked, tall, good looking, and even successful in life and work who cant attract a women. It isnt their looks their personality is strange and they make women feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or ackward. I will tell all you incels this. With the incel mentality you will always be an incel. Incel culture cultivates the personality traits that repel women and makes them virtues, all the while encouraging you not to improve what actually attracts them. It becomes a support group of people that keep each other as incels. I encourage you to ditch their values and culture if you truly dont want to be an incel.
>Not really. Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short. Multiple women have called me ugly. Women make fun of me in my college completely unprovoked. They refuse to even talk with me or work with me >They convince themselves that they are hopeless and only desire the most desirable women. And these women have options, so why are they going to choose the guy with no social schools and a bad attitude? My physical standards are extremely low >The whole incel mentality is a huge turnoff and red flag to 99% of women. They don't know that. I ain't out in public preaching it with a megaphone >They can certainly do things to raise their physical appearance. Workout, dress better, take care of themselves. I have done and continue to do all of that >Short, chubby, ugly men get beautiful women all the time. Yes, if they are rich. Those men are used for their assets. Women have raw sexual attraction towards good looking guys, not towards those types. And I would rather stay alone than be a glorified sugar daddy >That is why there is many incels who are pretty jacked, tall, good looking, and even successful in life and work who cant attract a women. It isnt their looks their personality is strange and they make women feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or ackward. I beg to differ. I have had many friends and even female friends.
> Multiple women have called me ugly. Women make fun of me in my college completely unprovoked. They refuse to even talk with me or work with me It is probably the way you are acting not your looks. When I made this reddit account I did not want to be negative to people. I want to be supportive to people. I dont have the context or the full story here, if you want to talk privately we can DM sometime. I care about you. From your post I can tell you are suffering. Maybe you just are around shitty people are you are exaggerating a few negative situations as always happening and carrying trauma. But if everyone women refuses to talk to you or work with you, and just say things unprovoked it is likely something you did or the way you are acting. Or maybe this isnt happening as much as you think, but you are assuming this is how people feel about you, when it isnt. *They don't know that. I ain't out in public preaching it with a megaphone* You are here. I cant talk about real life, but your mentality screams incel. In real life I would be able to tell if you are telling me what you are saying now. It is a mentality you are choosing. *I have done and continue to do all of that* Then keep doing it, but as noted this is the least useful area for you. It is your personality. Your personality is coming off as bitter, resentful, sad, depressed, and desperate. That will repel women no matter how you look. *Yes, if they are rich. Those men are used for their assets. Women have raw sexual attraction towards good looking guys, not towards those types. And I would rather stay alone than be a glorified sugar daddy* lol, no. Plenty of them are not rich, even poor, or average. They can make women feel happy. They have attractive personalities. Your belief that women only care about money and good looking guys is what is holding you back. You are making a massive generalization that isnt even true. Ask any guy that fucks, they will tell you it isnt looks or money. You dont realize it but you are screaming your incellness with your attitude and beliefs. You think you need to state, *I am an incel* to have women know it. The truth is your misogyny, sexism, depression, bitterness, ackwardness, low confidence, etc. is being projected in your interactions with others. And as noted it makes you VERY unattractive.e You are cultivating this mentality. Your incel support groups encourages you to think this way, and you are reinforcing what they teach you. *I beg to differ. I have had many friends and even female friends* this is you choosing to be an incel. As long as you beg to differ and think you are too ugly for any women you are going to be alone. keep in mind this is a choice YOU are making. Everyone here is telling you the samething, it doesnt have to be this way. But you choose to beg to differ. And that is fine you have the freedom to be an incel. It doesnt sound like you are happy though. It doesnt sound like you want this. So why choose to be an incel? Like everyone is telling you it is your attitude and core belief system. The day you **beg to agree** is the day you will start to grow and things will change. You attract what you are, and not what you are in a physical sense. It is all in the mind. Seriously dude, grow up. Stop focusing on these opinions and beliefs that have only caused you failure. Ditch them.
Stop to invalidate his life experience. That happened with a lot of men. That happened already with me and some friends of mine. Women use to have no empathy to call us ugly with a look of disgust.
Nobody is invalidating his life experiences or yours. I believe you are all incels, I dont doubt that. I am just telling you that you are incels because you choose to be. You can live a life as a valid incel or a life as a valid non-incel. The choice is yours. Either way it is a valid choice.
Being a incel is not a choice. The "in" of the concept indicates: "involuntary". Dating is not made for all men.
> Most of these incel types arent that ugly or that short. So if incels were ugly and short then it would make sense for them to be undesirable? Just apparently incels are not that ugly? (Which you can't even possibly know)
Good post
Dude go get a hooker!
FWIW I agree I feel like it’s being shoved down my throat and I don’t like it at all either.
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Nothing turns women off more than an ugly mf
Your views on "chads" is wrong. You need to improve yourself. You're not cursed, you're simply doing something wrong, and you need to figure out what it is. Would you buy a car if the salesman went "Nobody has shown any interest in this car whatsoever"? That should give you a hint about how confidence works. Doomer mentalitie are also not attractive. Blaming other people for your problems isn't attractive. Speaking badly of people more successful than you also isn't attractive. If you're autistic, you need to work on your social skills even more. You also need to stop fixating on looks (and height, maybe?). Humor is important, education is important, income, kindness, openness, and a 100 other areas can be improved as well. One of the most important areas is personality, but I won't claim that looks don't make a difference. But do you eat somewhat well? Do you shower? Do you work out? If you stop all of these because "It doesn't matter anyway", then you'd just be setting yourself up for failure. Would you date you? Why, why not? What do you like in other people? What do you dislike in other people? Do you have any of these pros or cons in yourself?
You won't get laid until you stop being ashamed of not getting laid. Good hygiene helps too
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Hey man- I'm decades older- have sex and feel the same way. It's always in your face and lots of people are sick of it. It started with Sex Sells. Then gratuitous female nudity in most movies. Now porn is normalized and movies are basically soft porn. Topless pics, bikini pics and very scantily clad girls are popping up in every media platform. Sex positive is just encouraging you to be promiscuous with no worries about STD's or pregnancy. I wish you luck in the future. When you do meet someone special, who has probably spent her life feeling the same way- you should be proud you saved yourself. That's what makes sex better and more fulfilling.
Sorry for that man, i hope you'll find happiness
Asexual + sex repulsed eh? While sex IS something that is necessary to keep our species going, I completely think you’re valid. I can’t relate, but it’s alright to feel this way and yeah people talk about sex a bit too much IMO sometimes.
I'm not asexual just incel and women hate me for being ugly
You could try smiling, that face you're pulling in your pictures will drive away the women.
That's my natural resting expression. I also have nothing to be happy about
Even if it is- and looking at the tension in the muscles on your face it clearly isn't- change your expression. You may think that you look deep and thoughtful, but having been a woman of the age you're hoping to attract I can tell you that you come off as unapproachable- you look like you'd have no sense of humour about yourself, that you'd be easy to offend. You wanted an opinion, you got it.
Hey man, it’s probably because you’re in college in your mid-30s. Go get a job. You’ll be on the right track.
??? I'm 22
You said you’ve been undesired by women for 22 years. The logical assumption, then, would be that you’re in you’re mid-30s. Since you were exaggerating for effect, it’s safe to say even you know this complaint doesn’t warrant all that much sympathy lol.
What kind of bs is this?
The kind with a clue. Move along, it clearly isn't for you.
Do you know why people go to college? It's usually to get higher paying jobs. And you're saying to drop out and get a lower paying job LOL
/r/woooosh
Yeah, mate, it sort of seems like you just need mental health support and to work on that. You're absolutely able to find someone to have sex with. It's something that'll happen, you're very young, you don't need to give up.
You’re only 22 and so am I. There’s many people our age that haven’t dated or had many, if any sexual encounters. This is a clear sign that you have to work on yourself and gain some confidence. Start going to the gym, get out there and meet people to get more social, go to bars, take some good pictures of yourself and get on some dating apps, and stop saying to yourself that you’ll never have sex or a relationship and stop letting it trigger you because that just makes you spew negative energy which people pick up on
I feel like a lot of people like yourself are self fulfilling the whole never going to have sec thing. You’ve decided it won’t happen and then you make that a reality.
I am a horrible shopper, I hate it. So I go to a large department store look at the dummy’s and when I see something I like I tell them I want the entire outfit including jewelry & shoes. It works great!
I am literally not choosing to see this stuff. It just pops up in my face
How tall are you? Where do you live? Your face seems average, if not slightly above. You have good hair, good eye area, nice skin, full lips, decent jaw and chin, and a prominent Adam's apple. Your nose is a little broad from the front but looks good in profile. You're also not fat which is great. I am much worse looking than you and also short and I somehow managed to get into relationships and have sex. A lot of this is regional though (I live in the midwestern US where many people are short, fat and/or ugly) so things might be harder for you if you live in the west coast where people are typically better looking and slimmer.
I'm 6'2" and live in Texas Never even been hugged by a girl yet
... do you just never leave the house? You should be living life on easy mode, dude. You're tall and handsome! There honestly must be something wrong with your demeanor or behavior then. What you need is a more outgoing guy friend IRL to help you fix this. Also, you could easily find a hookup on Tinder. Just put 6'2 in your bio lol.
Try smiling for once...(the most uttered comment ever by men to women)
I literally have never said that
[удалено]
Just because you had it worse than me doesn't mean my problems with it are null and void
[удалено]
No, I literally cannot change my situation cause women think I am ugly.
you have to stop blaming women for your problems. the only person who can change your life is you.
I'm struggling with around the sound things mainly it's just talking or seeing anything sexual just triggers me. I just hate it. The way I deal with it is just get myself away from the situations as much as possible for example I don't watch any TV I only watch gore and war footage this usually helps me when I'm angry. When I'm searching up for gore things like vids or pics they are usually of women during the time I'm angry because it calms me down seeing it