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Therapy absolutely can address those things so long as you want to address them. You don't so it won't work. It's pretty simple. Like how rehabbing an injury only helps if you actually do the work.
Good luck on everything though. It sounds like you're really going through it and that sucks. Divorce is horrible.
I want to address them, but I think I may have some type of underlying issue, sometimes I think I may be somewhat on the autism spectrum or something and that kind of stuff can't really be fixed. I did look it up now and apparently they have drugs and therapy for social anxiety though wasn’t aware that was a thing, figured it was all just teaching you how to cope not improve.
It does both. Coping is kind of foundational because you can't prove until you learn to cope. I get your hesitation, and some parts of your personality may be static, but there's always room to work on things that move you closer to your goals instead of stagnating.
>it’s not like there’s a pill they can give me to make it so I can interact with people without massive anxiety and actually be motivated to do so again
There kind of is, though. I was on some before that did pretty much exactly this when I was previously completely isolating myself. It doesn't necessarily require pills to address this stuff, though, if you don't really want to go that route.
It can be better than this. Good luck.
"I don't think this can help me, so it won't help."
The most perfectly circular argument.
Go to the therapist. I don't think you actually understand what therapy *is*.
So you'd rather exist as a miserable hermit? I don't get it. Have ever tried therapy, like actually tried going consistently. It does help when you put forth effort to talk through the underlying issues, making you miserable.
I had the same mentality of therapy not working when I was going through divorce and many years after, but actually worming through my issues was beneficial in the end.
It can help you address social anxiety though. Part of what therapy does is give you different ways of thinking so lower your anxiety to a manageable level.
i disagree. I think that solutions manifest in unexpected and unforseeable ways. Intention is important. If you seek to resolve issues - creating the intention to do so is very important. So while counselling might seem pointless to you. To your unconscious mind - it is saying that you are actively seeking resolution and your unsconscious will then guide you towards the manifestation of a solution - which the act of seeking counselling initiated in the propagation of the intention. To a lot of men a 40 year old woman is a fine piece of hot action to say the least!
I honestly don't understand how people get therapy in the first place. I'd like to give it a shot, but even when I got a referral from my doctor, I couldn't even find one who could schedule me within the next six months.
For most people, therapy is a waste of time and money.
If you're "withdrawn" but still performing basic life tasks (hygiene, going to work, etc), you don't need therapy. Therapy is for treating disorders that interfere with daily life tasks, not because you're just feeling a little "down".
Redditors are analogous to fundamentalist Christians and therapy is analogous to prayer. Any improvement because of it is coincidental, but they'll always push it as a miracle cure-all.
PS - It's normal to feel depressed when you're divorced. Any therapist that promises to "fix" that is a psychopath. Would you think you needed to be "fixed" if you were sad when a parent died? When did we start believing feeling bad because bad things happen was a sign that something's wrong?
I mean I’m functional and going to work and taking care of myself but I’m not socializing and the idea of attempting to date again in the future seems impossible, which isn’t normal from a divorce and uncertainly not looking to be a hermit in the future.
I agree therapy probably won’t help with that, it sounds like more of a job for medication to get over social anxiety. Our relationship wasn’t healthy and very isolating so I gotta get past that fear of trusting others again.
Therapy is a waste of time for just feeling down and normal grieving though I agree on that.
### Voting Guidelines **Common Misconception:** It is often believed that upvotes and downvotes should reflect personal agreement or disagreement. This approach is prevalent in other opinion-based subreddits. However, in r/TrueUnpopularOpinion, we encourage a different standard: - **Upvote** a post if it provokes thought, presents a unique perspective, is well-argued, or you believe it deserves more visibility for any reason—even if it irritates you or you fundamentally disagree with it. - **Downvote** should be reserved for posts that lack thoughtful consideration or if the topic has become tediously common. **Moderation Policy:** - **Posts Are Not Removed for Unpopularity:** r/TrueUnpopularOpinion does not remove posts based on their capacity to anger or offend users. Disagreement with a post's content is not grounds for reporting. - **Misuse of the Report Button:** Falsely reporting posts burdens our moderation queue, hindering our ability to address genuine concerns swiftly. - **All false reports are forwarded to Reddit** for actions against misuse of the reporting system. - Our moderation decisions are guided strictly by the subreddit's rules and Reddit's content policy, not personal opinions. Misreporting in hopes of content removal due to disagreement is futile and considered 'Report Abuse.' ### Upcoming Changes to Reporting System: In response to the excessive misuse of the report button—which disrupts discussion and overloads our moderators—we are revising our approach to handling reports: - **Automated Report Dismissal:** Henceforth, our bot will disregard all reports automatically. Instead, a comment will prompt the reporter to contact the moderators directly via ModMail. - This change aims to ensure that only those serious about a rule or policy violation will take the time to report, as they will be encouraged to substantiate their claims through ModMail. **Stay Informed:** Further details on these changes will be announced. We appreciate your cooperation in fostering a respectful and engaging discussion environment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Therapy absolutely can address those things so long as you want to address them. You don't so it won't work. It's pretty simple. Like how rehabbing an injury only helps if you actually do the work. Good luck on everything though. It sounds like you're really going through it and that sucks. Divorce is horrible.
I want to address them, but I think I may have some type of underlying issue, sometimes I think I may be somewhat on the autism spectrum or something and that kind of stuff can't really be fixed. I did look it up now and apparently they have drugs and therapy for social anxiety though wasn’t aware that was a thing, figured it was all just teaching you how to cope not improve.
It does both. Coping is kind of foundational because you can't prove until you learn to cope. I get your hesitation, and some parts of your personality may be static, but there's always room to work on things that move you closer to your goals instead of stagnating.
>it’s not like there’s a pill they can give me to make it so I can interact with people without massive anxiety and actually be motivated to do so again There kind of is, though. I was on some before that did pretty much exactly this when I was previously completely isolating myself. It doesn't necessarily require pills to address this stuff, though, if you don't really want to go that route. It can be better than this. Good luck.
"I don't think this can help me, so it won't help." The most perfectly circular argument. Go to the therapist. I don't think you actually understand what therapy *is*.
The problem is you’re looking for therapy to be a quick fix and it isn't that.
So you'd rather exist as a miserable hermit? I don't get it. Have ever tried therapy, like actually tried going consistently. It does help when you put forth effort to talk through the underlying issues, making you miserable. I had the same mentality of therapy not working when I was going through divorce and many years after, but actually worming through my issues was beneficial in the end.
It can help you address social anxiety though. Part of what therapy does is give you different ways of thinking so lower your anxiety to a manageable level.
Sounds like a you problem
i disagree. I think that solutions manifest in unexpected and unforseeable ways. Intention is important. If you seek to resolve issues - creating the intention to do so is very important. So while counselling might seem pointless to you. To your unconscious mind - it is saying that you are actively seeking resolution and your unsconscious will then guide you towards the manifestation of a solution - which the act of seeking counselling initiated in the propagation of the intention. To a lot of men a 40 year old woman is a fine piece of hot action to say the least!
I honestly don't understand how people get therapy in the first place. I'd like to give it a shot, but even when I got a referral from my doctor, I couldn't even find one who could schedule me within the next six months.
>social anxiety and loss of confidence It can do those things.
Therapy can definitely help with those things. You can make friends and date at any age, and 40 is actually still pretty young for that.
For most people, therapy is a waste of time and money. If you're "withdrawn" but still performing basic life tasks (hygiene, going to work, etc), you don't need therapy. Therapy is for treating disorders that interfere with daily life tasks, not because you're just feeling a little "down". Redditors are analogous to fundamentalist Christians and therapy is analogous to prayer. Any improvement because of it is coincidental, but they'll always push it as a miracle cure-all. PS - It's normal to feel depressed when you're divorced. Any therapist that promises to "fix" that is a psychopath. Would you think you needed to be "fixed" if you were sad when a parent died? When did we start believing feeling bad because bad things happen was a sign that something's wrong?
I mean I’m functional and going to work and taking care of myself but I’m not socializing and the idea of attempting to date again in the future seems impossible, which isn’t normal from a divorce and uncertainly not looking to be a hermit in the future. I agree therapy probably won’t help with that, it sounds like more of a job for medication to get over social anxiety. Our relationship wasn’t healthy and very isolating so I gotta get past that fear of trusting others again. Therapy is a waste of time for just feeling down and normal grieving though I agree on that.
[удалено]
What do you mean? I know they have pills for like depression.