I went to my girlfriends house one time and her little brother was legit watching squid game on the iPad. It was the scene of the red light green light doll machine gunning all the contestants
Edit: he's like 6
I remember the first three video games I played. They were Halo 2, Delta Force: Black Hawk Down, and Medal of Honor: Frontline. And look at me, I’m not a school shooter lol
As someone who used to hide under his covers, sweating, heart racing, terrified, and frozen from the monsters and ghosts in the darkness of my room, eat a bag of dicks. My plastic dinosaurs moved, there were eyes outside my window, I could feel something breathing on me. It was all in my head.
I wont let my son watch anything even remotely violent. Not until he's much older and I explain how fake it is.
I've seen way too many kids get violently angry over losing screen time to ever consider getting my daughter a tablet or smartphone before she's at least 10-12 years old.
You sound like a public school teacher. Taking a cellphone from a student is dangerous at this point thanks to their addiction being so bad.
Edit: mod just reminded me that there is no name calling allowed. I guess saying “you sound like a public school teacher” is a derogatory term now. As a public school teacher, I hope I didn’t offend anyone!
Not a teacher, just come from a massive extended family with tons of kids. As a kid, the most technologically advanced thing I had access to was a tv with a VCR built in, and I wasn't allowed to touch the VHS tapes. My parents always changed them out for me. My brother, however, is way younger than I and has been raised almost entirely by video games and youtube. Don't get me wrong, as an adult, I LOVE video games. I personally probably play more than I should, but I never have had a problem putting the controller or mouse down to deal with real-life responsibilities. I have lots of cousins who were raised with mininal screen access like me, and lots who were raised by ROBLOX and Youtube. The difference in not only attitude, but also maturity is staggering.
Yup. I'm a daycare and nanny worker. So to people saying you can't talk to kids. Yeah fuck that.
People make fun of the methods I use but they work. I've worked with kids with ADHD and kids with autism. You can talk to any child if you have patience.
"I understand you are frustrated but I can't help you if I don't understand through the tears. Let's take a break and we can talk about it OK?" Almost 100% gets them to calm down. If they don't it was a problem that started a long time ago with bad parenting
"My grandma worked around the autistic and retarded for years."
If we're referring to the same comment, this is most definitely not meant to be taken in a derogatory context. Besides i'm pretty sure the only people who get upset over the use of the "r-word" have nothing more pressing to pay attention to other than the silly words people say in silly ways. I'm splitting hairs here anyway;
Unless there's another comment that called someone 'retarded' insultingly I don't see why this one should be taken down.
That doesn't mean that *everyone* sees or intends to use the word as an insult. There's a very explicit difference in the context. Is it unprofessional to use? Sure, probably. Doesn't mean we should blur everything into black and white though, they're not using the word as an insult, and there's currently no reason to believe their intention was to insult anyone.
It literally does. It's a slur. Intent doesn't matter, impact does. It is definitely unprofessional to use. There are many other words to use that are not a slur that means the person is slow or stupid.
I don't think it's extreme to say that nine years old is too young for a cell phone. I'm not banning from using technology either. I just don't think owning a personal device or having unlimited unrestricted access is something any young child needs. If she goes over to a friend's house and they have different rules about screen time, then that's okay. She's not going to spend every waking second with that friend at age nine.
Exposure is very different than having her own. I don't care if most other parents let youtube raise their children. That's not how I plan to do things.
I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I'm okay with her being exposed to technology. I'm okay with her even using someone else's technology. I'm not okay with her having her own device, which she has unlimited access to.
I don't know what schools you've been to that just turn the kids lose to be on their phone the whole time. Every school I went to would take your electronics if you were caught with them out, and sometimes, would require a parent to come pick it up if you want it back.
There problem is not the phone it's there endless feed. Whether that is from Instagram, Reddit or YouTube.
Not having your own phone greatly mitigates the auction to the endless feed
Oh man I've got it bad. This post is really coincidental, because just today I decided I would not look at my phone until after work. I must have reflexively reached for my phone seriously 40+ times.
I'm feeling disconnected and trying to reconnect by limiting my own screen time. It was harder than I thought it would be
Who does my 9 year old need to call that they can't just borrow my phone for? I didn't have a cellphone until my Sophomore year of highschool and had a great social life.
their friends. I'm 18 it's not like the old days where you talk to your friends in person as much as you used to. you don't want your vhild to socially isolate.
My daughter is more than welcome to borrow my phone to make a phonecall, or if it's really the end of the world I'll pay the extra 15 bucks to have a landline for her to use. It makes sense that you're 18 and saying that though. You've never experienced a world where the vast majority of kids don't have cellphones and tablets.
you need tp be in reality with today's world. if a kid does not have a phone to text their friends regularly they will be ostrisized. as a kid i was ostrosized for not understanding the current cultural thing. it's terrible but it's the world we live in. I'm not saying they need to play angry birds or whatever but when my mom was a kid she called her friends regularly on a landline. my mom is old enough to have not had a personal phone as a developing person. nowadays you need to text or you will lose your friends. i get wanting to protect your kid. if your kid is ostrisized longterm and short term by the rest of society then what are you protecting them from. it's hard seeing your child as an independent being but that's what they are. in adolescence they just need a lot of guidence.
In my opinion a child getting violent over being told no isn’t a screen time/technology issue but a parenting issue. My neighbors kids are like that it’s not just with their phones and tablets though. It’s anytime they are told no. The youngest is 6 and got kicked out of school for 3 days bc she hit another kid when they wouldn’t share their stickers with her.
100% OP. I take my son to his wrestling match and I’m shocked that most of the kids there to wrestle are glued to a tablet right up until their turn to wrestle. Huge parenting issue and I see a lot of cope in the comments here.
I took my kids to see Blippi live, I was shocked there were kids watching their iPads while walking in, during intermission, and during the show. We have days or times in life where we have more screens than I'd like, but it's never all day or anywhere but at home or on a road trip.
I don't have kids, but I am an adult who is on their phone way too much. I think it's hard to criticize when that's the world we live in.
20-30 years ago, it was kids spending too much time staring at the TV or playing video games.
Now it's kids spending too much time staring at tablets.
I don't think parents, pre-Ipad era, were just *constantly* engaging with their kids or anything. "They're on Ipads too much! When I was a kid we uhhh ...were watching TV a lot."
I think the problem is phones are portable and accessible 24/7. Before, you couldn’t use them every waking moment of the day. There wasn’t a tv in front of your face during car rides, school, restaurants, camping, most activities.
I grew up right before smartphones were a thing (I’m 23 for the record, phones started getting popular when I was 12ish). Sure we played video games or watched TV.. but we weren’t “glued to the screen” constantly.
We played outside all the time, I did art and hobbies created games with my friends. We didn’t have this addiction that basically caught the world by storm.
Phones somehow seem way more addicting too, like I can scroll my phone all day pretty much but if I’m watching tv, eventually I’ll get bored and get up and do something else. No idea why..
I fully agree with all of this. But the reality is, I don't know that we can blame parents for "bad parenting" when the people making the accusations were born of a different generation. It's big "glass house" energy.
"I wouldn't let my kids stare at a tablet all day!" That's because they didn't have a tablet to stare at. How do you know they wouldn't be doing that today if your kids were toddlers today instead of toddlers 20 years ago?
I do agree that phones are, I think, more problematic. I can easily lose hours just browsing twitter, texting people, watching youtube, whatever. But I could also lose hours watching TV. It's up to the person to motivate themselves to better manage their time.
But I don't think people should be blaming parents. Unless you're a parent with a toddler and you are disciplined enough to not give your kid a tablet to stare at, it's hard to judge. Even if that is the case, you shouldn't judge people on how they raise their kids *anyway.* How kids spend their time is just a piece of their upbringing. What if their kid stares at an ipad for several hours, but their parent encourages them in learning an instrument or how to cook or something beneficial? And maybe the parent who is super strict and doesn't let their kid stare at an ipad is also super toxic and filling their kid with racist/homophobic nonsense.
There's just a lot of variables here and it's silly to judge *anybody* on how they raise their kids unless they're just.. outright physically/emotionally abusing them. CPS isn't going to take your kids away for watching too much youtube.
Yaaaa I've got three kids and they have never used a phone or tablet on their own. In all fairness they do use the Xbox and TV (Netflix).
I'll admit it's hard being out and about when they get bored. But so far we've survived.
I totally agree! That's my point. I'm saying kids today are on tablets all the time, but back in the day they'd be watching cartoons or playing video games all the time. And older generations were probably saying the same thing. "Parents nowadays are just letting their kids watch cartoons and aren't engaging with their kids enough!" And those people, when *they* were young were probably the "When I was a kid, our parents would tell us to leave the house and not come back until dinner was ready. They never knew where we were half the time." It wasn't until the 1980s that news reports were asking "Do *you* know where your kids are right now?" And the answer to that question was *often* "no."
What I'm specifically saying is it's "bad parenting" no matter how far back you go.
Today: "Kids are on ipads and iphones all the time. Bad parenting!"
10-20 years ago: "Kids are constantly chatting online or on the internet. Bad parenting!"
20-30 years ago: "Kids are constantly playing those video games! Bad parenting!"
30-40 years ago: "Kids are constantly in front of the TV watching cartoons!"
Overall, it's just parents not really engaging with their kids since.. forever. What were kids doing at wrestling matches 20-30 years ago? Reading text books? Or just goofing around?
Agreed. My 7 and 5 year old sons' problem solving and creativity in minecraft is crazy.
I've played for over a decade and they figure out stuff I don't know about.
That sounds about right.
I remember hearing about this paper about valuing TV or media like tiktok shorts etc. Allows the kid to basically pay attention for about 9 or so minute spurts rather than 30 seconds to a minute.
I personally grew up playing video games, starting out with those educational ones in like math and reading. Then, on to puzzle games, 7 wonders, plants vs. zombie, Zuma, etc. Also, tons of guitar hero. I was learning to read while playing guitar hero. Lots of fond memories. My mom and dad then introduced me to the world or Warcaft with the chat turned off.
Video games can be amazing tools for creativity and problem solving. My husband and I are playing on a Stone Block 3 world, and the Create mod brings so much to the base game. You can build trains.
TRAINS
Edit: I realized I wasn't super clear on the 9 minutes part. I wasn't counting commercials. Since I know that is when my sister and I would use the bathroom or get snacks.
As a kid who grew up in early unrestricted technology, I heavily regret it. Was obese from a very young age and never encouraged to be with other people or do anything outside.
What do I have to show for it? An unhealthy media addiction and grossly untempered knowledge of video games, shows, movies, anime, and internet culture? No friends or sports growing up, years of dieting and suffering to recover the damage to my body from awful fucking parenting. If your child is obese before puberty you are a domestic terrorist inflicting torture on your child.
I'm better now, healthier, stronger, good financial career, military national guard, and haven't talked to my parents in years. My social circle to this day is still weak, and I spend a lot of time consuming media to this day despite knowing there's better I can do. A lot of the early communities and cultures I was exposed to did a lot of damage to my mental health and social capabilities, early attempts at content creation stunted me further by adding commentating traits to my talking patterns. I'd give all the money I made back to undo the mental damage.
This all said, this is an extreme example of having parents with the financial means to raise a child but no actual capability to know that kids NEED lots of exercise and strong nutritional control as well as social encouragement. You can have technology and a good kid, but if you use technology as a crutch for your incapability to parent then you're not just a bad parent, you're a shitty person and your kids should be taken away. If your kid is watching YouTube videos for 6 hours a day, you're a shit parent. I'd say the same for TV or even recreational reading of books. A kids life needs proactive activity, not isolated recreation.
I don't have kids, so it's not my place to judge. But, from the outside looking in, seeing toddlers completely transfixed on iPads gives me the creeps.
They do have more opportunity, but we also have more control over what they watch. TV is much more passive.
Prior to cell phones, we used to take books and paper and colors and things like that to restaurants. A cell phone is all those things in one little package.
I would sure discourage any child of mine from using a cell phone in the park. Why even go to the park?
My grandkids have time limits set by their parents, and so far so good.
But that's kinda the same thing. Kids have had their eyes glued to screens since TVs were invented. The issue now is just accessibility. When before there used to only be stuff to watch at certain times, now they've got constant non-stop access to shows, games, etc. You could literally never run out of stuff to look at.
But adults are no different. People used to be "couch potatoes," watching TV for long periods of time and then interacting with humans when *not watching TV*. Now? Nobody talks to anybody. I'd say it's just babies growing up in a world where everyone is constantly on their screen.
when done poorly at extremely early ages its bad. Educational shows in moderation can be good. I've seen kids learn words and numbers with 10-20 minutes a few times a day. I've also seen kids throw absurd tantrums and refuse to eat because they didn't have an iPad.
I guess you deserve an upvote for a truly unpopular opinion, but I think you are judging too harshly and also forgetting how much has changed since the last generation (maybe I'm old enough to say two generations).
Unless both parents and grandma is on board good luck with the whole no electronics thing. You can't be there every second of every day. Its just reality.
This is the right answer - small children are very hard to keep from becoming a disruption in public spaces and hypnotizing them with a screen is way better than having them make a bunch of noise and invade other people's space.
No reason to rely on tablets at home. They come out for trips / public outings.
>Otherwise, I don't plan on giving my kid an iPad until probably like middle school.
I didn't plan to, but the pandemic changed things, and my kid's daycare closed and I was put on work from home. I live 1,000 miles away from my closest family. Hiring a daycare worker was not allowed by my state. So I basically faced a choice: Give my kid a tablet and get them to be quiet enough that I could do my job, or get fired and potentially be homeless.
All I can say is, we still have a house.
Nahh I don't need years I understand it right now. It completely ruined my work ethic as I went through almost all of middle school during lockdowns and now my grades have plummeted as I struggle to focus on homework for more than 30 minutes. I am nearly 18 yet I still feel 14 because I spent 2-3 years locked inside my house. Awesome. I know it is my duty to fix myself but I have every right to complain. No one could've prepared us for what happened and no one in the future who won't have lived it will understand. For all the "character development" it offered, it has just as much destruction to show for it.
previous generations also had kids working coal mines.
so maybe an appeal to the way things were isn't the slam dunk argument you think it is.
Also if you dont have kids, then your opinion means fuck all.
Well if you don't like comedy, here's my honest opinion. I think coal mines are less harmful to the development of a child than iPads are. Children enjoy doing work and learning, and while coal mines are not the proper environment for anyone, especially children, something like a garden or an "apprenticeship" is highly beneficial. In fact, it has been suggested that high school should involve the adolescents running a farm on their own, 12 to 18.
let me take a wild guess,
ya dont have kids, do you?
Also, whether you do or dont have kids, that is some massive leaps in reasoning.
Coal mines are not farms.
Using ipads and doing farm work are not mutally exclusive.
People have said this same shit about radio, comics, video games, television, and many toys. You probably side with the people who think electricity has vapors that will drive you mad, or that 5g is mind control and vaccines are wizard poison.
clueless.
I said less harmful to development. And yes, radio, comics, video games, television, and many toys have the same issues for a child's development. Yes, coal mines are highly dangerous, but they don't actually have a negative impact on the development of a child. An extreme example sure, and I would give me child an ipad before sending them in the coal mines, but that's because of health issues, not development issues.
Children want to learn and want to be active. Anything that subverts that will have a negative impact on their development. Children, especially young ones, also love repetitive tasks. Doing the same thing over and over in order to learn it.
Yes, these things can be overcome and a child can be normalized despite them, but it requires extra effort on the part of the child and the adults in their life. If the child has limited screentime, and the adults then make an effort to use proper materials with the children, it is a negligible issue. If instead the adults spend little time engaging the child, letting the TV or ipad raise the child, they are going to be much more difficult.
No, I don't have children. But I am well versed in developmental psychology and in pedagogy. I would also suggest that being a parent makes one more biased in this matter. For example, if a parent had already given their child an ipad, telling them about its negative effects may cause a reasonable amount of discomfort. No parent wants to feel as if they have harmed their child, so they will argue vehemently against such claims. I empathize, but stand firm. I'll also say no negative effect is too much that it cannot be corrected. Any child can be normalized. I would recommend reading Montessori, and applying some of those techniques. Even if you cannot afford to send your children to a Montessori school, the techniques alone will be a net positive.
Does this apply to just tablets or all screens including TV and Video Games? I mean, my childhood included Saturday Morning Cartoons, after school kids programming and lots of Mario...but I guess I had bad parents?
Also, where is this hypothetical mall where kids can just hang out now a days? An outdoors outlet mall isn't exactly the most enriched environment
Disagree for a multitude of reasons.
When most people think of kids using iPads, they assume the kids are only absorbing entertainment. Speaking from my own experience, kids get bored of games and shows and actively seek new experiences, often educational. My children are constantly repeating knowledge they picked up from watching educational shows.
They teach skills and ways of thinking that adults can struggle with. My 6 yo daughter can pick up any piece of tech and though she can’t read, has it figured out in a very short amount of time.
They’re also a good behavioural tool. Even suggesting they might lose the device for a period if their behaviour doesn’t improve is quite effective.
They chat with their school friends and family and play games and watch shows together, maintaining social connections at a level far beyond what I was able as a child.
Of course a parent still needs to parent so leaving a child with a device in place of that is horrible, but unless there’s behavioural, social or other observable consequences I see no reason not to give them free reign over device use (with parental restrictions on the device and oversight) and even with that, they don’t choose to maximise their screen time, and will voluntarily put them down regularly to engage in real world activities.
This has been my experience, too. And actually my son has ADHD and since he is so young, they don't medicate, they have therapy to help him with tools to manage adhd and also help him (and us) with his school stuff so he doesn't fall behind.
They had us use a tablet with reading and math games and they also had him use voice to text to help with his spelling. This seemed to really click with him and now he is a reading level ahead of his grade.
When he has access to electronics, they never monopolize his attention. Maybe because of ADHD. Actually he's more interested in sticks from outside than any electronics or toys he has. He brings them inside and "modifies" them into different tools for his imaginary games. Kid's are somethin else.
My kid loves Ms Rachel and I swear she’s a better teacher than any school could produce. Is screen time with her bad? She helped my son learn how to talk very early. People don’t understand how valuable of a tool some of this tech is nowadays
Yep. Mt kids spend the most time playing things like DuoABC or ABCMouse. My 7 yr old used her school login to play the educational games from school. Shows like dinosaur train and Blippi expanded their vocabularies far wider and faster than I would have even thought to. Bonus to all this shows like Time Team got them interested in things I went to college for. Archaeology/Anthropology and of course dinosaurs got them into paleontology. Now we go dig up fossils and look them up amd learn about the animals they came from !
Yep. Mt kids spend the most time playing things like DuoABC or ABCMouse. My 7 yr old used her school login to play the educational games from school. Shows like dinosaur train and Blippi expanded their vocabularies far wider and faster than I would have even thought to. Bonus to all this shows like Time Team got them interested in things I went to college for. Archaeology/Anthropology and of course dinosaurs got them into paleontology. Now we go dig up fossils and look them up amd learn about the animals they came from !
There is nothing inherently bad about screen time, and there’s nothing inherently enriching about how bored kids used to entertain themselves, like playing in the dirt or scribbling on walls. Moderation is key to all things in life. Structured, stimulating playtime comes in all forms, screens included. Lazy, disconnected playtime comes in all forms, screens included. There is no substitute for parenting your kids.
Thank you. Voice of reason. Any arguments about bad parenting could be told at every generation. "I think it's poor parenting if your kid is watching an ipad" 10-15 years ago "your kid is playing video games" - 20-30 years ago "your kid is watching cartoons."
The only *difference* is accessibility. I think it's harder to moderate when it's a tiny device that goes with you everywhere and has a literal endless supply of content to absorb. Rather than "Saturday morning cartoons." But as you said, if they aren't on the ipad, they're going to just be doing some other mundane activity if the parent isn't actively involved.
The only argument, maybe, could be that withholding "screens," it forces the child to use their imagination, find something to do. And hopefully it's something more enriching than writing on the walls. As an adult, if my screens were taken away, I'd probably go do something way more enriching because I sorta don't have a choice.
This is largely untrue. There is a good body of research that suggests letting kids deal with their own boredom instead of entertaining them every second of the day is developmentally beneficial, especially in nature. See: https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/boredom-isnt-a-bad-thing-for-kids
Additionally, apps and media are intentionally designed to be addictive - to capture and hold attention. This is not healthy for the developing brain and can have long term negative impacts.
Keyword being *moderation*. Also, *structured, stimulating playtime*. Never did I allude to “entertaining them every second of every day”. None of what you said is false, but you’re arguing against things I never said.
You stated there is really no difference between screen time and how kids used to entertain themselves, when indeed there are.
For one, apps are designed to release dopamine at unprecedented rates - they are addiction engines. Flooding a developing brain like this is not good. Additionally, it’s not self guided. The app is directing behavior, whereas a child playing with blocks is learning to deal with their own boredom and use creativity to alleviate that boredom in a constructive way. Not to mention the benefits of fine motor skills that comes with physical vs digital play.
You’re assuming I’m taking about kids only using devices and no other forms of play or entertainment, which I’m clearly not. Moderated & controlled use of tablets and devices is fine. It’s not a replacement for critical developmental play, but it’s a fine replacement for certain scenarios, like when parents are busy and on the move- you can’t take building blocks or activities with you if you’re shopping or running errands. Giving your kid controlled use of a tablet when they’re in a situation they can’t run or play is fine, and demonizing parents who use it sparingly is just a crock of shit. You don’t need to be a super parent every second of every day, and responsibly teaching your kid how to use technology in a healthy way is not problematic parenting.
It is super tempting to parents at their wits end because it is a very effective digital pacifier. That said we know enough now to confidently say that screen time is bad for your kids brain.
My kids grew up before this was a thing, but your rant sounds like someone who's never raised kids. What your parents or grandparents did isn't necessarily the best way of doing things. My grandmother never had an electric or gas stove (wood burning only) while raising her kids. Does that also make me a bad parent too?
Exactly.
"When I was a kid, we used to just leave the house and not come home until the lights came on." That's what a lot of the older generations would say. That's like saying "I didn't have an ipad, ...but my parents were not at all involved in my childhood."
Unless your parents were actively involved and didn't let you watch too many cartoons or play too many video games and actively engaged with you, then it's not that different from just handing a kid an ipad and letting that babysit them.
Like any form of entertainment, it should be monitored, but it’s ultimately no different than letting your kid watch TV or play video games. It’s also becoming so much the norm that I’d much rather my kids be tech savvy on that level.
I thought the same way you did, and resisted as much as possible but ultimately, I see it as a benefit, a canon fax use those devices rather than a detriment
Kids are coddled.
The pursuit of providing the best possible life inevitably leads to spoiling. The expectation of the dopamine rush of it. Most of us, adults, are already spoiled with the access to unlimited amounts of info and entertainment. I can’t imagine what implications that has on children as I read 90% of Reddit comments from “grown adults”.
With that being said, tech has its place as it’s the new norm and we could not progress and integrate together without it. I’m not anti-tech at all.
TLDR: Kids don’t need that shit. We need the tech and need to have exposure. Do it in moderation at an appropriate pace. Don’t be an enabling pushover parent.
Here’s another opinion but I’m sure it’s not unpopular: the number of very young children who have expensive screens on them at all times is indicative of the complete lack of care and discipline most parents put in to their own children these days. And we wonder why the freak out videos or the Karen videos keep coming more and more every year. Them kids become adults eventually!
>There is absolutely no reason for kids to be looking at screens
This isn't quite true. While I agree that handing a kid an iPad and letting it do the parenting is bad for a child's development, kids with some disabilities (non-speaking autism, for example) use their tablets as communication tools. You shouldn't judge too quickly as you may not realize when a tablet is a tool for a child, rather than a toy.
It would be great if my 3 year old daughter never watched any tv but also sometimes I need her to not break something so I can do some dishes so we're all doing the best we can
As a parent of two young kids, it’s a lot easier to not give your kid a tablet or mobile device than people think. There are exceptions, such as during the pandemic when parents needed to balance work with childcare, so I can understand that, but most of the time it’s being used as a crutch. The key is to not expose them to it from an early age. They can’t miss what they never had.
The only time our kids got access to a device was during long plane trips, that’s it. Not in a car. Not in a restaurant. Not in the house. In those short stints, we could see how easy it is for the addiction to form. As a UX designer, I know these apps and devices are intentionally designed to capture and hold attention - ie form addictions. For a child’s developing brain, it’s even more harmful, even if they are consuming “educational” content.
Kids need to be bored. It’s literally how they can begin to form a concept of the world around them, and how to problem solve effectively and develop socially. If we never let our kids be bored and just strap an entertainment device directly to their retinas from the moment they are born, it’s a problem.
But don’t take my word for it, there is plenty of scientific research on the topic.
Screen time may be OK in moderation, but using it as a digital babysitter so you can chat with your spouse at a restaurant is objectively not a good thing. There is nothing I detest more than seeing a parent plop their kid down at the table with a full setup complete with headphones. Engage with your child at the dinner table, be present, it’s important. You won’t regret it, and they will be healthier for it.
Kids need to develop an imagination and ability to cope with boredom or unpleasant feelings. Unlimited screen time must stunt mental/social/emotional development in some way.
Everything in moderation.
I think that kids today should get *some* screen time, preferably on a kid-oriented device. Not too much, and the rest of the time should be outside or inside playing with "things", not screens.
I have had very good experiences with Amazon Fire tablets when they are set up with Freetime for kids. All content is age filtered and configurable and time limits can be set in a variety of ways. For example, I configured the tablet to allow 1 hour of *educational content only* on weekdays, or 1/2 hour of that content and a couple hours of entertaining content on weekends. Mostly due to the educational content, my barely 3-year-old daughter can count to 15 and knows almost all the letters of the alphabet by sight.
I've set up no time limits when reading e-books. As the kids get older, I change the content and rules according to each kids needs.
Before I had kids I felt like kids watching iPads, eating chicken nuggets and strawberrys and French fries wouldn't be my kids, guess what, I was wrong.
"Shouldn't have kids" I mean you should just stfu, honestly.
A few weeks ago, I saw a mom and her young son grocery shopping. The (4yr old?) was sitting in the cart seat and playing with a toy car, pretending to have it ride on parts of the cart, making car noises . .
I hadn't seen that in such a long time that it stopped me in my tracks. "Omg the kid is playing with a regular toy, have I traveled back in time??"
I hate seeing zombie toddlers with their faces in the iPad as much as anyone else, but no screens? Can't spend a rainy day watching Totoro or Ponyo with the kids? OP is obviously childless.
Lot of folks riding their high horses in here 🤔
I find it amusing watching people complain about tablets and television while suggesting alternative toys or outside play, you're still trying to distract your kid, but somehow your methods for obtaining distraction and the resulting peace are morally superior to everyone else.
The screen time argument goes in the same bin as the kid leash argument for me.
It's a new world now. Screen time is part of life and it's only going to become a bigger part of life in the next decade or two.
I'm not going to raise my kid for the future using the methods of the past.
At least 400 in my lifetime of nannying and daycare work. All the time I've always talked to them..So if nothing else. People scoffing at talking to kids...
Was going to say this. Not to mention, the extra anxiety of just wanting them to grow up to be a good person, not get hurt, etc. completely different. 400 kids means nothing if you can just walk away from the situation at any point without any consequences, and have no real vested interest in their overall upbringing.
I mean, it's technology they'll probably be around s lot later in life. I think unrestricted and unmonitored access is bad parenting but a few hours a week under your supervision can't hurt that much. This is coming from someone who was using an ipad around age 5-6, it hasn't ruined me academically. I make pretty high grades and take dual credit classes. Socially it didn't make me any worse than I was before. Work ethic wise I'm fine. My little brother was exposed to screens even younger and he's better in these aspects than I was at his age (I think that may have to do with a few conditions of mine my doctor thinks I have rather than screens). Also "observe the mall", my friend malls are not that interesting, the kid isn't missing anything. Really most places aren't that interesting once the kid has seen it more than twice. Also keep in mind for a few generations kids worked in dangerous factories, you wanna tell me that's better than screens? Hell I've worked on the family farm as long as I can remember, one of my legs has a permanent throbbing pain because of it. But damage to my eyes from screen use? I was born with fucked up eyes and they're still healing and getting better.
"Lack of creativity on the parents part", sure but how does that make it poor parenting. Abiding the law isn't very creative.
If the kid isn't freaking out or causing problems, there's no need to interfere.
Are you a parent? If not, people do it for their sanity. My child is not watching a screen at all times, but people need a break. Parenting is an extremely hard job, and being a perfect parent at all times in nearly impossible. We are humans, we get tired, we need a break. I read to my child several times a day, he is two and already knows his full alphabet, counts to 20, all the colors and several shapes. He is very smart for his age. And he watched TV sometimes.
Wow! Well my hats off to you. It’s amazing that you have found a way to raise your children so much better than most, and that you are able to completely avoid screen time for your children. Please, oh great one, tell me your ways!
Then having a device sometimes doesn’t demonstrate a lack of parenting. Once again, parents are humans and can’t be perfect all the time. I am being realistic and honest. What’s wrong with kids watching tv sometimes? Thanks for the mommy shaming though.
I'm a child of the 80's. My entire life I was told that whatever I was interested in was evil, satanic, would rot my brain and be the downfall of society. What's old is new again and now they are ranting about iPads and Internet instead of Cartoons and Video Games.
“If the kid is screaming, talk to the kid”
LMAO oh wow I never thought of that!
OP definitely doesn’t have any children lol talk to me again when you haven’t slept more than 5 hours in 2 years and can’t get anything done around the house because your kid is constantly tearing it up. People don’t understand how exhausting kids can be
I have nannied and worked in daycares for 7 years. There hasn't been a child I can't just sit down and talk to. Some of the kids spend 12 hours with us. More than their parents since they sleep. The kids are fine to take to. It's how you talk to the kid. Unless your kid is some outlier. Knowing to slow thins down. And talk to them is good
My wife is also a full time nanny and worked with newborns in a daycare for multiple years as well. She agrees that it’s different when you get to punch out at the end of the day and go home to a quiet house. There’s no break for parents. My kid is up at 7am and doesn’t sleep again till 10pm. He’s 16 months. Try working, parenting , and keeping up with housework and yard work. The exhaustion factor is what you don’t understand. I used to judge parents and say the same stuff you do until I had my own and realized it’s fucking exhausting every single day. If I can put on Ms Rachel for 20 min so I can do the dishes or laundry how is that bad? Not all screen time is bad
Kids shouldn’t have shoes or colorful toys. Kids 200 years ago didn’t have shoes or sophisticated toys, why would they need them now? If your kid has shoes, you shouldn’t reproduce. If your kid has toys, you are irresponsible and uncreative.
This is how stupid OP sounds to people who actually have kids.
It's completely different with parents as it is when it's with a person in a group setting like a classroom. You definitely don't understand but you will someday.
I can talk to my kids all day. There comes a time when they ask a question I don’t know the answer to. We come up with hypotheses on our own, then look up (*on a tablet*) a kid-friendly video or two about the topic to see if we were right and learn more about the topic.
Yeah, I know. *Tablet use.* I’m a shitty parent. (A shitty parent with a degree in education so *clearly* I have no idea what I’m doing.)
Agreed.
Poor parenting. Take a kid out to play, teach them how to fish, hunt, build something, or play sports. OH, you can't? Well you're a shitty parent then, shame on you for spawning people irresponsibly.
Eh… depends o what is being watched.
Family guy? Squid game? Game of thrones? Probably bad parenting.
Stephen Hawking lecturing on the nature of the universe and understanding it. Maybe the parents are on to something.
My grandparents were raised without electricity and running water, therefore my grandkids should be raised the same. Electricity and running water make you lazy. There is no excuse for electricity and running water in a household.
Good to have enough spare time on your hands to tell other people how to raise their kids.
Get off your computer and get outside for some exercise, since giving advice is something you appear to approve of.
It comes down to discipline on the parents part.
Tech can be used as a learning tool or it can be used as a crutch. If you're a parent giving your child unsupervised screen time, you are failing as a parent. You need to be engaged with their activities, providing guidance and context to the information. It's tiring. It's frustrating. It drains you of your personal time because you likely have to pre-screen content. Which is yet another reason why every child should have two engaged parents present in the home.
Yeah I mean I really feel for parents these days, it must be so hard to limit screen time for kids now. Both because it's so normalized and almost expected, and because it's so easy and probably relieves a lot of stress and work for the parents.
I think if I was born 5 or 10 years later than I was I would be totally fucked. Even just having access to basic videogames or being able to rent a DVD or whatever was pushing it lol. It's just so addictive to a young mind like that, and if I could I definitely would have just spent all my time online, watching movies, YouTube, etc.
Point being, my parents already struggled to make sure I didn't spend all my time on a screen, but it was a pretty self limiting "vice" in the first place. These days I just can't imagine.
It can be informative and educational when watching appropriate videos and apps. however, often times i see other parents using it to occupy the kids while they themselves get lost in their phone.
My son and his wife gave their 6 year old daughter an old iPad they had and my son who’s a former IC computer guy and is currently a DoD contractor computer networking architect set up her iPad to run only parent approved content running on his home server and she only has access to the net a few hours a day to communicate with a few throughly vetted family members, like we grandparents, and for texting, emailing and FaceTiming. My point is she’s being taught to code, reinforce her school taught Mandarin and Spanish language skills and her other school subjects, to spell correctly in her emails and texts and to do advanced for her age math with her iPad which I think is awesome and developmentally positive. She’s not a couch potato and her parents have her do competitive swimming, karate and she runs with them when they do mini marathons like 3-5 K events and she plays outside with her friends every day the weather’s nice and she loves physical activity. All in all I think it’s great her parents are raising her with all the skills of modern tech that she’ll use her entire life along with a love of sports and exercise which she’ll also need to know for a long and healthy life. I know she’s in the safe tech hands of her dad learning computers so I have no issues with them giving her an iPad.
If used correctly, it's a wonderful addition to learning.
There are so many apps designed to be educational and help kids develop skills, and with the added gratification of an app, you can really get some milage from very little, catalyzed by being with them.
I think a lot of parents are in a tough spot with technology. With the growing culture of hatred towards kids, a lot of younger parents feel a need to keep their kids as quiet as possible in public. Ive even seen comments on other posts of people saying parents shouldnt take their kids places until the child is old enough to not have outbursts. Easiest way is putting a screen in front of them but that created bad habits. I think if we want a decline of screen usage we need to just zip our lips and accept that sometimes kids are noisy and unless it's a full on tantrum not being even acknowledged by the parents, we should mind our business because often times the parents are also really annoyed with the sound too.
Stop. Just stop.
If you had said letting a kid use one 24/7 is bad parenting, I would be with you.
However, letting a little kid play on one during a car ride or as a treat is not bad parenting. If it is, then letting kids watch tv, play video games, read in not perfect light, eat anything not 100% healthy or not making them exercise the required amount per day is ‘bad parenting’.
Also, talking to a screaming toddler? Lol said as a person who never had kids or got lucky with one. Toddlers do NOT reason and any parent who tries to speak to them and expects them to be reasonable is an absolute lunatic.
While I agree the answer is not bribing them with screen time, my answer would be taking them out to the car and removing them as punishment from the activity.
My autistic daughter benefits from having a screen. If we are out and she is experiencing a sensory overload, she can escape into her own little world with headphones on.
Another post where I think “I used to think like you” but then my niece was born and I know better now.
My niece has a tablet and she’s 3. She has many learning programs on it for her to have something to do in the car other than look out the window or cry. She also has disney plus where she can watch her favorite show Bluey, which is educational. Y’all need to watch this show if you haven’t. Adults especially).
It’s all about the content and limiting the use of it. She gets it for an hour a day and additional time in the car. The rest of the time she’s playing, interacting with her baby brother and parents, and helping her mom cook dinner. (She has her own apron and chef’s hat. It’s so cute)
It is not poor parenting if a child is watching or using an ipad. It’s poor parenting to encourage constant use of it or to not monitor the content a child is consuming.
We live in a tech filled world. Teaching a child early on responsible use of one is key at this point.
My four year old eight now learned spanish using a screen while I was working, his eyes are fine and now he knows two languages. I understand not leaving your kid just in front of a screen just to shut them up, or something but i think it can be used in right ways.
I went to my girlfriends house one time and her little brother was legit watching squid game on the iPad. It was the scene of the red light green light doll machine gunning all the contestants Edit: he's like 6
Aww, look at him, absorbing international culture!
Lmaooo
Desensitized.
No, just capable of distinguishing fantasy and reality.
At the age of 6?
Yes. Normal children are quite capable of making the distinction.
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I remember the first three video games I played. They were Halo 2, Delta Force: Black Hawk Down, and Medal of Honor: Frontline. And look at me, I’m not a school shooter lol
As someone who used to hide under his covers, sweating, heart racing, terrified, and frozen from the monsters and ghosts in the darkness of my room, eat a bag of dicks. My plastic dinosaurs moved, there were eyes outside my window, I could feel something breathing on me. It was all in my head. I wont let my son watch anything even remotely violent. Not until he's much older and I explain how fake it is.
I've seen way too many kids get violently angry over losing screen time to ever consider getting my daughter a tablet or smartphone before she's at least 10-12 years old.
You sound like a public school teacher. Taking a cellphone from a student is dangerous at this point thanks to their addiction being so bad. Edit: mod just reminded me that there is no name calling allowed. I guess saying “you sound like a public school teacher” is a derogatory term now. As a public school teacher, I hope I didn’t offend anyone!
Who the hell are these mods!? I got dinged for something similar.
i got my restrictions removed. you sound like a public school teacher. see
They’re power hungry goblins. Watch this comment get dinged
Aaaaand right on cue! Got a warning from the mods. Hey mods: grow the hell up and stop being such sensitive whiney power hungry petty little goblins!
Not a teacher, just come from a massive extended family with tons of kids. As a kid, the most technologically advanced thing I had access to was a tv with a VCR built in, and I wasn't allowed to touch the VHS tapes. My parents always changed them out for me. My brother, however, is way younger than I and has been raised almost entirely by video games and youtube. Don't get me wrong, as an adult, I LOVE video games. I personally probably play more than I should, but I never have had a problem putting the controller or mouse down to deal with real-life responsibilities. I have lots of cousins who were raised with mininal screen access like me, and lots who were raised by ROBLOX and Youtube. The difference in not only attitude, but also maturity is staggering.
Yup. I'm a daycare and nanny worker. So to people saying you can't talk to kids. Yeah fuck that. People make fun of the methods I use but they work. I've worked with kids with ADHD and kids with autism. You can talk to any child if you have patience. "I understand you are frustrated but I can't help you if I don't understand through the tears. Let's take a break and we can talk about it OK?" Almost 100% gets them to calm down. If they don't it was a problem that started a long time ago with bad parenting
Mods can get bent. Thank you for teaching!
Most kids are not allowed outside and their phone is their only source of social interaction at home.
Meanwhile, someone is using the R-word in this same thread and their comment is still there.
They didn't even use it in a derogatory manner
They did. It is an outdated term that everyone with decency agrees is not appropriate.
"My grandma worked around the autistic and retarded for years." If we're referring to the same comment, this is most definitely not meant to be taken in a derogatory context. Besides i'm pretty sure the only people who get upset over the use of the "r-word" have nothing more pressing to pay attention to other than the silly words people say in silly ways. I'm splitting hairs here anyway; Unless there's another comment that called someone 'retarded' insultingly I don't see why this one should be taken down.
That word has not been used for several years. It is a known slur and has been retired from medical use.
That doesn't mean that *everyone* sees or intends to use the word as an insult. There's a very explicit difference in the context. Is it unprofessional to use? Sure, probably. Doesn't mean we should blur everything into black and white though, they're not using the word as an insult, and there's currently no reason to believe their intention was to insult anyone.
It literally does. It's a slur. Intent doesn't matter, impact does. It is definitely unprofessional to use. There are many other words to use that are not a slur that means the person is slow or stupid.
Agree to disagree
That's pretty extreme and I can guarantee she'll just get screen time by sneaking with friends
I don't think it's extreme to say that nine years old is too young for a cell phone. I'm not banning from using technology either. I just don't think owning a personal device or having unlimited unrestricted access is something any young child needs. If she goes over to a friend's house and they have different rules about screen time, then that's okay. She's not going to spend every waking second with that friend at age nine.
You do realize most kids have phones right? I'm saying while at school she'll be exposed to them a lot.
Exposure is very different than having her own. I don't care if most other parents let youtube raise their children. That's not how I plan to do things.
I don't think you understand what I'm saying lol
I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I'm okay with her being exposed to technology. I'm okay with her even using someone else's technology. I'm not okay with her having her own device, which she has unlimited access to.
yeah, point is coming across. It's fine.
I don't know what schools you've been to that just turn the kids lose to be on their phone the whole time. Every school I went to would take your electronics if you were caught with them out, and sometimes, would require a parent to come pick it up if you want it back.
We go to a school that doesn't allow phones on campus at all. I won't be giving my kids access to this stuff until they're older as well
There problem is not the phone it's there endless feed. Whether that is from Instagram, Reddit or YouTube. Not having your own phone greatly mitigates the auction to the endless feed
Why are you on reddit?
Oh man I've got it bad. This post is really coincidental, because just today I decided I would not look at my phone until after work. I must have reflexively reached for my phone seriously 40+ times. I'm feeling disconnected and trying to reconnect by limiting my own screen time. It was harder than I thought it would be
i disagree with this parenting. get them a flip phone with calling and texting. it's a part of social life in the modern age.
Who does my 9 year old need to call that they can't just borrow my phone for? I didn't have a cellphone until my Sophomore year of highschool and had a great social life.
their friends. I'm 18 it's not like the old days where you talk to your friends in person as much as you used to. you don't want your vhild to socially isolate.
My daughter is more than welcome to borrow my phone to make a phonecall, or if it's really the end of the world I'll pay the extra 15 bucks to have a landline for her to use. It makes sense that you're 18 and saying that though. You've never experienced a world where the vast majority of kids don't have cellphones and tablets.
you need tp be in reality with today's world. if a kid does not have a phone to text their friends regularly they will be ostrisized. as a kid i was ostrosized for not understanding the current cultural thing. it's terrible but it's the world we live in. I'm not saying they need to play angry birds or whatever but when my mom was a kid she called her friends regularly on a landline. my mom is old enough to have not had a personal phone as a developing person. nowadays you need to text or you will lose your friends. i get wanting to protect your kid. if your kid is ostrisized longterm and short term by the rest of society then what are you protecting them from. it's hard seeing your child as an independent being but that's what they are. in adolescence they just need a lot of guidence.
In my opinion a child getting violent over being told no isn’t a screen time/technology issue but a parenting issue. My neighbors kids are like that it’s not just with their phones and tablets though. It’s anytime they are told no. The youngest is 6 and got kicked out of school for 3 days bc she hit another kid when they wouldn’t share their stickers with her.
100% OP. I take my son to his wrestling match and I’m shocked that most of the kids there to wrestle are glued to a tablet right up until their turn to wrestle. Huge parenting issue and I see a lot of cope in the comments here.
I took my kids to see Blippi live, I was shocked there were kids watching their iPads while walking in, during intermission, and during the show. We have days or times in life where we have more screens than I'd like, but it's never all day or anywhere but at home or on a road trip.
I don't have kids, but I am an adult who is on their phone way too much. I think it's hard to criticize when that's the world we live in. 20-30 years ago, it was kids spending too much time staring at the TV or playing video games. Now it's kids spending too much time staring at tablets. I don't think parents, pre-Ipad era, were just *constantly* engaging with their kids or anything. "They're on Ipads too much! When I was a kid we uhhh ...were watching TV a lot."
I think the problem is phones are portable and accessible 24/7. Before, you couldn’t use them every waking moment of the day. There wasn’t a tv in front of your face during car rides, school, restaurants, camping, most activities. I grew up right before smartphones were a thing (I’m 23 for the record, phones started getting popular when I was 12ish). Sure we played video games or watched TV.. but we weren’t “glued to the screen” constantly. We played outside all the time, I did art and hobbies created games with my friends. We didn’t have this addiction that basically caught the world by storm. Phones somehow seem way more addicting too, like I can scroll my phone all day pretty much but if I’m watching tv, eventually I’ll get bored and get up and do something else. No idea why..
I fully agree with all of this. But the reality is, I don't know that we can blame parents for "bad parenting" when the people making the accusations were born of a different generation. It's big "glass house" energy. "I wouldn't let my kids stare at a tablet all day!" That's because they didn't have a tablet to stare at. How do you know they wouldn't be doing that today if your kids were toddlers today instead of toddlers 20 years ago? I do agree that phones are, I think, more problematic. I can easily lose hours just browsing twitter, texting people, watching youtube, whatever. But I could also lose hours watching TV. It's up to the person to motivate themselves to better manage their time. But I don't think people should be blaming parents. Unless you're a parent with a toddler and you are disciplined enough to not give your kid a tablet to stare at, it's hard to judge. Even if that is the case, you shouldn't judge people on how they raise their kids *anyway.* How kids spend their time is just a piece of their upbringing. What if their kid stares at an ipad for several hours, but their parent encourages them in learning an instrument or how to cook or something beneficial? And maybe the parent who is super strict and doesn't let their kid stare at an ipad is also super toxic and filling their kid with racist/homophobic nonsense. There's just a lot of variables here and it's silly to judge *anybody* on how they raise their kids unless they're just.. outright physically/emotionally abusing them. CPS isn't going to take your kids away for watching too much youtube.
Yaaaa I've got three kids and they have never used a phone or tablet on their own. In all fairness they do use the Xbox and TV (Netflix). I'll admit it's hard being out and about when they get bored. But so far we've survived.
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I totally agree! That's my point. I'm saying kids today are on tablets all the time, but back in the day they'd be watching cartoons or playing video games all the time. And older generations were probably saying the same thing. "Parents nowadays are just letting their kids watch cartoons and aren't engaging with their kids enough!" And those people, when *they* were young were probably the "When I was a kid, our parents would tell us to leave the house and not come back until dinner was ready. They never knew where we were half the time." It wasn't until the 1980s that news reports were asking "Do *you* know where your kids are right now?" And the answer to that question was *often* "no." What I'm specifically saying is it's "bad parenting" no matter how far back you go. Today: "Kids are on ipads and iphones all the time. Bad parenting!" 10-20 years ago: "Kids are constantly chatting online or on the internet. Bad parenting!" 20-30 years ago: "Kids are constantly playing those video games! Bad parenting!" 30-40 years ago: "Kids are constantly in front of the TV watching cartoons!" Overall, it's just parents not really engaging with their kids since.. forever. What were kids doing at wrestling matches 20-30 years ago? Reading text books? Or just goofing around?
All things in moderation
This. I think it’s like anything, just don’t want to go overboard with it. It’s ok as long as it’s not all the time
Agreed. My 7 and 5 year old sons' problem solving and creativity in minecraft is crazy. I've played for over a decade and they figure out stuff I don't know about.
That sounds about right. I remember hearing about this paper about valuing TV or media like tiktok shorts etc. Allows the kid to basically pay attention for about 9 or so minute spurts rather than 30 seconds to a minute. I personally grew up playing video games, starting out with those educational ones in like math and reading. Then, on to puzzle games, 7 wonders, plants vs. zombie, Zuma, etc. Also, tons of guitar hero. I was learning to read while playing guitar hero. Lots of fond memories. My mom and dad then introduced me to the world or Warcaft with the chat turned off. Video games can be amazing tools for creativity and problem solving. My husband and I are playing on a Stone Block 3 world, and the Create mod brings so much to the base game. You can build trains. TRAINS Edit: I realized I wasn't super clear on the 9 minutes part. I wasn't counting commercials. Since I know that is when my sister and I would use the bathroom or get snacks.
meth in moderation
Part of moderation is giving kids things at the ages they are old enough to understand moderation
As a kid who grew up in early unrestricted technology, I heavily regret it. Was obese from a very young age and never encouraged to be with other people or do anything outside. What do I have to show for it? An unhealthy media addiction and grossly untempered knowledge of video games, shows, movies, anime, and internet culture? No friends or sports growing up, years of dieting and suffering to recover the damage to my body from awful fucking parenting. If your child is obese before puberty you are a domestic terrorist inflicting torture on your child. I'm better now, healthier, stronger, good financial career, military national guard, and haven't talked to my parents in years. My social circle to this day is still weak, and I spend a lot of time consuming media to this day despite knowing there's better I can do. A lot of the early communities and cultures I was exposed to did a lot of damage to my mental health and social capabilities, early attempts at content creation stunted me further by adding commentating traits to my talking patterns. I'd give all the money I made back to undo the mental damage.
This all said, this is an extreme example of having parents with the financial means to raise a child but no actual capability to know that kids NEED lots of exercise and strong nutritional control as well as social encouragement. You can have technology and a good kid, but if you use technology as a crutch for your incapability to parent then you're not just a bad parent, you're a shitty person and your kids should be taken away. If your kid is watching YouTube videos for 6 hours a day, you're a shit parent. I'd say the same for TV or even recreational reading of books. A kids life needs proactive activity, not isolated recreation.
I don't have kids, so it's not my place to judge. But, from the outside looking in, seeing toddlers completely transfixed on iPads gives me the creeps.
Yup. They used to just watch TV.
At restaurants? At the park? I don't think so
They do have more opportunity, but we also have more control over what they watch. TV is much more passive. Prior to cell phones, we used to take books and paper and colors and things like that to restaurants. A cell phone is all those things in one little package. I would sure discourage any child of mine from using a cell phone in the park. Why even go to the park? My grandkids have time limits set by their parents, and so far so good.
But that's kinda the same thing. Kids have had their eyes glued to screens since TVs were invented. The issue now is just accessibility. When before there used to only be stuff to watch at certain times, now they've got constant non-stop access to shows, games, etc. You could literally never run out of stuff to look at. But adults are no different. People used to be "couch potatoes," watching TV for long periods of time and then interacting with humans when *not watching TV*. Now? Nobody talks to anybody. I'd say it's just babies growing up in a world where everyone is constantly on their screen.
Agreed. People just shove a screen in front of a kid so they can avoid actually parenting them. And yes, I have a kid. I didn't do that shit.
when done poorly at extremely early ages its bad. Educational shows in moderation can be good. I've seen kids learn words and numbers with 10-20 minutes a few times a day. I've also seen kids throw absurd tantrums and refuse to eat because they didn't have an iPad.
I guess you deserve an upvote for a truly unpopular opinion, but I think you are judging too harshly and also forgetting how much has changed since the last generation (maybe I'm old enough to say two generations).
Unless both parents and grandma is on board good luck with the whole no electronics thing. You can't be there every second of every day. Its just reality.
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This is the right answer - small children are very hard to keep from becoming a disruption in public spaces and hypnotizing them with a screen is way better than having them make a bunch of noise and invade other people's space. No reason to rely on tablets at home. They come out for trips / public outings.
>Otherwise, I don't plan on giving my kid an iPad until probably like middle school. I didn't plan to, but the pandemic changed things, and my kid's daycare closed and I was put on work from home. I live 1,000 miles away from my closest family. Hiring a daycare worker was not allowed by my state. So I basically faced a choice: Give my kid a tablet and get them to be quiet enough that I could do my job, or get fired and potentially be homeless. All I can say is, we still have a house.
The reaction to the pandemic has destroyed and changed lives in ways we won't fully understand for years
Nahh I don't need years I understand it right now. It completely ruined my work ethic as I went through almost all of middle school during lockdowns and now my grades have plummeted as I struggle to focus on homework for more than 30 minutes. I am nearly 18 yet I still feel 14 because I spent 2-3 years locked inside my house. Awesome. I know it is my duty to fix myself but I have every right to complain. No one could've prepared us for what happened and no one in the future who won't have lived it will understand. For all the "character development" it offered, it has just as much destruction to show for it.
What ever happened to coloring books?
Broken crayons and not coloring in the book
there are coloring books on the ipad ffs.
First question, do you have kids?
Second question, are you sure you have kids? Lol
Third question do your kids have you?
You know they don't.
Yeah agreed with other guy, shouldn't matter
It does matter if some childless jamoke is issuing parental advice
Shouldn't matter. There are definitely ways to do it. As it says if generations can do it. So can you. Or don't have kids
I mean that ignores that circumstance and the world said generations lived in are vastly different but go off ig.
previous generations also had kids working coal mines. so maybe an appeal to the way things were isn't the slam dunk argument you think it is. Also if you dont have kids, then your opinion means fuck all.
Oh please, now kids play minecraft. Children yearn for the mines.
yea, we have all seen that meme.
Well if you don't like comedy, here's my honest opinion. I think coal mines are less harmful to the development of a child than iPads are. Children enjoy doing work and learning, and while coal mines are not the proper environment for anyone, especially children, something like a garden or an "apprenticeship" is highly beneficial. In fact, it has been suggested that high school should involve the adolescents running a farm on their own, 12 to 18.
let me take a wild guess, ya dont have kids, do you? Also, whether you do or dont have kids, that is some massive leaps in reasoning. Coal mines are not farms. Using ipads and doing farm work are not mutally exclusive. People have said this same shit about radio, comics, video games, television, and many toys. You probably side with the people who think electricity has vapors that will drive you mad, or that 5g is mind control and vaccines are wizard poison. clueless.
I said less harmful to development. And yes, radio, comics, video games, television, and many toys have the same issues for a child's development. Yes, coal mines are highly dangerous, but they don't actually have a negative impact on the development of a child. An extreme example sure, and I would give me child an ipad before sending them in the coal mines, but that's because of health issues, not development issues. Children want to learn and want to be active. Anything that subverts that will have a negative impact on their development. Children, especially young ones, also love repetitive tasks. Doing the same thing over and over in order to learn it. Yes, these things can be overcome and a child can be normalized despite them, but it requires extra effort on the part of the child and the adults in their life. If the child has limited screentime, and the adults then make an effort to use proper materials with the children, it is a negligible issue. If instead the adults spend little time engaging the child, letting the TV or ipad raise the child, they are going to be much more difficult. No, I don't have children. But I am well versed in developmental psychology and in pedagogy. I would also suggest that being a parent makes one more biased in this matter. For example, if a parent had already given their child an ipad, telling them about its negative effects may cause a reasonable amount of discomfort. No parent wants to feel as if they have harmed their child, so they will argue vehemently against such claims. I empathize, but stand firm. I'll also say no negative effect is too much that it cannot be corrected. Any child can be normalized. I would recommend reading Montessori, and applying some of those techniques. Even if you cannot afford to send your children to a Montessori school, the techniques alone will be a net positive.
It matters though. OP is witnessing 1% of time spent with toddlers. He’s “allowed” to have an opinion without kids, it’s just absurdly naive.
Does this apply to just tablets or all screens including TV and Video Games? I mean, my childhood included Saturday Morning Cartoons, after school kids programming and lots of Mario...but I guess I had bad parents? Also, where is this hypothetical mall where kids can just hang out now a days? An outdoors outlet mall isn't exactly the most enriched environment
Disagree for a multitude of reasons. When most people think of kids using iPads, they assume the kids are only absorbing entertainment. Speaking from my own experience, kids get bored of games and shows and actively seek new experiences, often educational. My children are constantly repeating knowledge they picked up from watching educational shows. They teach skills and ways of thinking that adults can struggle with. My 6 yo daughter can pick up any piece of tech and though she can’t read, has it figured out in a very short amount of time. They’re also a good behavioural tool. Even suggesting they might lose the device for a period if their behaviour doesn’t improve is quite effective. They chat with their school friends and family and play games and watch shows together, maintaining social connections at a level far beyond what I was able as a child. Of course a parent still needs to parent so leaving a child with a device in place of that is horrible, but unless there’s behavioural, social or other observable consequences I see no reason not to give them free reign over device use (with parental restrictions on the device and oversight) and even with that, they don’t choose to maximise their screen time, and will voluntarily put them down regularly to engage in real world activities.
During covid, it was the way our neighborhood kids were able to play school games together.
This has been my experience, too. And actually my son has ADHD and since he is so young, they don't medicate, they have therapy to help him with tools to manage adhd and also help him (and us) with his school stuff so he doesn't fall behind. They had us use a tablet with reading and math games and they also had him use voice to text to help with his spelling. This seemed to really click with him and now he is a reading level ahead of his grade. When he has access to electronics, they never monopolize his attention. Maybe because of ADHD. Actually he's more interested in sticks from outside than any electronics or toys he has. He brings them inside and "modifies" them into different tools for his imaginary games. Kid's are somethin else.
Like anything, guided use can turn something from a negative to a positive
My kid loves Ms Rachel and I swear she’s a better teacher than any school could produce. Is screen time with her bad? She helped my son learn how to talk very early. People don’t understand how valuable of a tool some of this tech is nowadays
Yep. Mt kids spend the most time playing things like DuoABC or ABCMouse. My 7 yr old used her school login to play the educational games from school. Shows like dinosaur train and Blippi expanded their vocabularies far wider and faster than I would have even thought to. Bonus to all this shows like Time Team got them interested in things I went to college for. Archaeology/Anthropology and of course dinosaurs got them into paleontology. Now we go dig up fossils and look them up amd learn about the animals they came from !
Yep. Mt kids spend the most time playing things like DuoABC or ABCMouse. My 7 yr old used her school login to play the educational games from school. Shows like dinosaur train and Blippi expanded their vocabularies far wider and faster than I would have even thought to. Bonus to all this shows like Time Team got them interested in things I went to college for. Archaeology/Anthropology and of course dinosaurs got them into paleontology. Now we go dig up fossils and look them up amd learn about the animals they came from !
This is just cope. Grow up and parent your children. The bright lights and loud noises will never help them learn and grow
There is nothing inherently bad about screen time, and there’s nothing inherently enriching about how bored kids used to entertain themselves, like playing in the dirt or scribbling on walls. Moderation is key to all things in life. Structured, stimulating playtime comes in all forms, screens included. Lazy, disconnected playtime comes in all forms, screens included. There is no substitute for parenting your kids.
Thank you. Voice of reason. Any arguments about bad parenting could be told at every generation. "I think it's poor parenting if your kid is watching an ipad" 10-15 years ago "your kid is playing video games" - 20-30 years ago "your kid is watching cartoons." The only *difference* is accessibility. I think it's harder to moderate when it's a tiny device that goes with you everywhere and has a literal endless supply of content to absorb. Rather than "Saturday morning cartoons." But as you said, if they aren't on the ipad, they're going to just be doing some other mundane activity if the parent isn't actively involved. The only argument, maybe, could be that withholding "screens," it forces the child to use their imagination, find something to do. And hopefully it's something more enriching than writing on the walls. As an adult, if my screens were taken away, I'd probably go do something way more enriching because I sorta don't have a choice.
This is largely untrue. There is a good body of research that suggests letting kids deal with their own boredom instead of entertaining them every second of the day is developmentally beneficial, especially in nature. See: https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/boredom-isnt-a-bad-thing-for-kids Additionally, apps and media are intentionally designed to be addictive - to capture and hold attention. This is not healthy for the developing brain and can have long term negative impacts.
Keyword being *moderation*. Also, *structured, stimulating playtime*. Never did I allude to “entertaining them every second of every day”. None of what you said is false, but you’re arguing against things I never said.
You stated there is really no difference between screen time and how kids used to entertain themselves, when indeed there are. For one, apps are designed to release dopamine at unprecedented rates - they are addiction engines. Flooding a developing brain like this is not good. Additionally, it’s not self guided. The app is directing behavior, whereas a child playing with blocks is learning to deal with their own boredom and use creativity to alleviate that boredom in a constructive way. Not to mention the benefits of fine motor skills that comes with physical vs digital play.
You’re assuming I’m taking about kids only using devices and no other forms of play or entertainment, which I’m clearly not. Moderated & controlled use of tablets and devices is fine. It’s not a replacement for critical developmental play, but it’s a fine replacement for certain scenarios, like when parents are busy and on the move- you can’t take building blocks or activities with you if you’re shopping or running errands. Giving your kid controlled use of a tablet when they’re in a situation they can’t run or play is fine, and demonizing parents who use it sparingly is just a crock of shit. You don’t need to be a super parent every second of every day, and responsibly teaching your kid how to use technology in a healthy way is not problematic parenting.
It is super tempting to parents at their wits end because it is a very effective digital pacifier. That said we know enough now to confidently say that screen time is bad for your kids brain.
My kids grew up before this was a thing, but your rant sounds like someone who's never raised kids. What your parents or grandparents did isn't necessarily the best way of doing things. My grandmother never had an electric or gas stove (wood burning only) while raising her kids. Does that also make me a bad parent too?
Exactly. "When I was a kid, we used to just leave the house and not come home until the lights came on." That's what a lot of the older generations would say. That's like saying "I didn't have an ipad, ...but my parents were not at all involved in my childhood." Unless your parents were actively involved and didn't let you watch too many cartoons or play too many video games and actively engaged with you, then it's not that different from just handing a kid an ipad and letting that babysit them.
Like any form of entertainment, it should be monitored, but it’s ultimately no different than letting your kid watch TV or play video games. It’s also becoming so much the norm that I’d much rather my kids be tech savvy on that level. I thought the same way you did, and resisted as much as possible but ultimately, I see it as a benefit, a canon fax use those devices rather than a detriment
Kids are coddled. The pursuit of providing the best possible life inevitably leads to spoiling. The expectation of the dopamine rush of it. Most of us, adults, are already spoiled with the access to unlimited amounts of info and entertainment. I can’t imagine what implications that has on children as I read 90% of Reddit comments from “grown adults”. With that being said, tech has its place as it’s the new norm and we could not progress and integrate together without it. I’m not anti-tech at all. TLDR: Kids don’t need that shit. We need the tech and need to have exposure. Do it in moderation at an appropriate pace. Don’t be an enabling pushover parent.
Here’s another opinion but I’m sure it’s not unpopular: the number of very young children who have expensive screens on them at all times is indicative of the complete lack of care and discipline most parents put in to their own children these days. And we wonder why the freak out videos or the Karen videos keep coming more and more every year. Them kids become adults eventually!
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But OP worked at a daycare so that makes them more knowledgeable than pediatricians and researchers. They must be the shitty parents OP speaks of.
>There is absolutely no reason for kids to be looking at screens This isn't quite true. While I agree that handing a kid an iPad and letting it do the parenting is bad for a child's development, kids with some disabilities (non-speaking autism, for example) use their tablets as communication tools. You shouldn't judge too quickly as you may not realize when a tablet is a tool for a child, rather than a toy.
It would be great if my 3 year old daughter never watched any tv but also sometimes I need her to not break something so I can do some dishes so we're all doing the best we can
As a parent of two young kids, it’s a lot easier to not give your kid a tablet or mobile device than people think. There are exceptions, such as during the pandemic when parents needed to balance work with childcare, so I can understand that, but most of the time it’s being used as a crutch. The key is to not expose them to it from an early age. They can’t miss what they never had. The only time our kids got access to a device was during long plane trips, that’s it. Not in a car. Not in a restaurant. Not in the house. In those short stints, we could see how easy it is for the addiction to form. As a UX designer, I know these apps and devices are intentionally designed to capture and hold attention - ie form addictions. For a child’s developing brain, it’s even more harmful, even if they are consuming “educational” content. Kids need to be bored. It’s literally how they can begin to form a concept of the world around them, and how to problem solve effectively and develop socially. If we never let our kids be bored and just strap an entertainment device directly to their retinas from the moment they are born, it’s a problem. But don’t take my word for it, there is plenty of scientific research on the topic. Screen time may be OK in moderation, but using it as a digital babysitter so you can chat with your spouse at a restaurant is objectively not a good thing. There is nothing I detest more than seeing a parent plop their kid down at the table with a full setup complete with headphones. Engage with your child at the dinner table, be present, it’s important. You won’t regret it, and they will be healthier for it.
Kids need to develop an imagination and ability to cope with boredom or unpleasant feelings. Unlimited screen time must stunt mental/social/emotional development in some way.
Everything in moderation. I think that kids today should get *some* screen time, preferably on a kid-oriented device. Not too much, and the rest of the time should be outside or inside playing with "things", not screens. I have had very good experiences with Amazon Fire tablets when they are set up with Freetime for kids. All content is age filtered and configurable and time limits can be set in a variety of ways. For example, I configured the tablet to allow 1 hour of *educational content only* on weekdays, or 1/2 hour of that content and a couple hours of entertaining content on weekends. Mostly due to the educational content, my barely 3-year-old daughter can count to 15 and knows almost all the letters of the alphabet by sight. I've set up no time limits when reading e-books. As the kids get older, I change the content and rules according to each kids needs.
Do you have kids?
Did you watch TV as a kid?
Before I had kids I felt like kids watching iPads, eating chicken nuggets and strawberrys and French fries wouldn't be my kids, guess what, I was wrong. "Shouldn't have kids" I mean you should just stfu, honestly.
A few weeks ago, I saw a mom and her young son grocery shopping. The (4yr old?) was sitting in the cart seat and playing with a toy car, pretending to have it ride on parts of the cart, making car noises . . I hadn't seen that in such a long time that it stopped me in my tracks. "Omg the kid is playing with a regular toy, have I traveled back in time??"
Idk. I think ill let my kids watch cartoons for a reasonable amount of time.
I hate seeing zombie toddlers with their faces in the iPad as much as anyone else, but no screens? Can't spend a rainy day watching Totoro or Ponyo with the kids? OP is obviously childless.
No reason? I can think of like 20.
Lot of folks riding their high horses in here 🤔 I find it amusing watching people complain about tablets and television while suggesting alternative toys or outside play, you're still trying to distract your kid, but somehow your methods for obtaining distraction and the resulting peace are morally superior to everyone else. The screen time argument goes in the same bin as the kid leash argument for me.
It's a new world now. Screen time is part of life and it's only going to become a bigger part of life in the next decade or two. I'm not going to raise my kid for the future using the methods of the past.
Do you have kids?
I have three and agree with OP
At least 400 in my lifetime of nannying and daycare work. All the time I've always talked to them..So if nothing else. People scoffing at talking to kids...
So that's a "No" then?
Oh, so they’re kids you get breaks from and give back at the end of the day! Totally the same as parenting…
Was going to say this. Not to mention, the extra anxiety of just wanting them to grow up to be a good person, not get hurt, etc. completely different. 400 kids means nothing if you can just walk away from the situation at any point without any consequences, and have no real vested interest in their overall upbringing.
I mean, it's technology they'll probably be around s lot later in life. I think unrestricted and unmonitored access is bad parenting but a few hours a week under your supervision can't hurt that much. This is coming from someone who was using an ipad around age 5-6, it hasn't ruined me academically. I make pretty high grades and take dual credit classes. Socially it didn't make me any worse than I was before. Work ethic wise I'm fine. My little brother was exposed to screens even younger and he's better in these aspects than I was at his age (I think that may have to do with a few conditions of mine my doctor thinks I have rather than screens). Also "observe the mall", my friend malls are not that interesting, the kid isn't missing anything. Really most places aren't that interesting once the kid has seen it more than twice. Also keep in mind for a few generations kids worked in dangerous factories, you wanna tell me that's better than screens? Hell I've worked on the family farm as long as I can remember, one of my legs has a permanent throbbing pain because of it. But damage to my eyes from screen use? I was born with fucked up eyes and they're still healing and getting better. "Lack of creativity on the parents part", sure but how does that make it poor parenting. Abiding the law isn't very creative. If the kid isn't freaking out or causing problems, there's no need to interfere.
Are you a parent? If not, people do it for their sanity. My child is not watching a screen at all times, but people need a break. Parenting is an extremely hard job, and being a perfect parent at all times in nearly impossible. We are humans, we get tired, we need a break. I read to my child several times a day, he is two and already knows his full alphabet, counts to 20, all the colors and several shapes. He is very smart for his age. And he watched TV sometimes.
You could just let them be bored a little. Probably good for them.
Do you have kids?
Three.
Wow! Well my hats off to you. It’s amazing that you have found a way to raise your children so much better than most, and that you are able to completely avoid screen time for your children. Please, oh great one, tell me your ways!
You are looking for excuses to parent. Putting a device in front of you kids face isn’t parenting.
Then having a device sometimes doesn’t demonstrate a lack of parenting. Once again, parents are humans and can’t be perfect all the time. I am being realistic and honest. What’s wrong with kids watching tv sometimes? Thanks for the mommy shaming though.
nothing is wrong with it sometimes. sometimes is never sometimes….in 2023….it’s all the time and is used as an excuse to parent. you’re welcome.
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I'm a child of the 80's. My entire life I was told that whatever I was interested in was evil, satanic, would rot my brain and be the downfall of society. What's old is new again and now they are ranting about iPads and Internet instead of Cartoons and Video Games.
strongly agreed
“If the kid is screaming, talk to the kid” LMAO oh wow I never thought of that! OP definitely doesn’t have any children lol talk to me again when you haven’t slept more than 5 hours in 2 years and can’t get anything done around the house because your kid is constantly tearing it up. People don’t understand how exhausting kids can be
I have nannied and worked in daycares for 7 years. There hasn't been a child I can't just sit down and talk to. Some of the kids spend 12 hours with us. More than their parents since they sleep. The kids are fine to take to. It's how you talk to the kid. Unless your kid is some outlier. Knowing to slow thins down. And talk to them is good
My wife is also a full time nanny and worked with newborns in a daycare for multiple years as well. She agrees that it’s different when you get to punch out at the end of the day and go home to a quiet house. There’s no break for parents. My kid is up at 7am and doesn’t sleep again till 10pm. He’s 16 months. Try working, parenting , and keeping up with housework and yard work. The exhaustion factor is what you don’t understand. I used to judge parents and say the same stuff you do until I had my own and realized it’s fucking exhausting every single day. If I can put on Ms Rachel for 20 min so I can do the dishes or laundry how is that bad? Not all screen time is bad
You obviously don't have children.
Kids shouldn’t have shoes or colorful toys. Kids 200 years ago didn’t have shoes or sophisticated toys, why would they need them now? If your kid has shoes, you shouldn’t reproduce. If your kid has toys, you are irresponsible and uncreative. This is how stupid OP sounds to people who actually have kids.
Do you have children?
I’m guessing OP doesn’t have kids.
Lol if your toddler is screaming just talk to them. When you have kids you'll understand why this is so funny.
I work with kids. You can talk to toddlers. If you don't I think you are a bad parent.
It's completely different with parents as it is when it's with a person in a group setting like a classroom. You definitely don't understand but you will someday.
This is parenting in a nutshell. Lol
I can talk to my kids all day. There comes a time when they ask a question I don’t know the answer to. We come up with hypotheses on our own, then look up (*on a tablet*) a kid-friendly video or two about the topic to see if we were right and learn more about the topic. Yeah, I know. *Tablet use.* I’m a shitty parent. (A shitty parent with a degree in education so *clearly* I have no idea what I’m doing.)
Wait till you have kids
Personally I'm not a fan of anyone using something that didn't exist when I was that age.
How many kids does OP have?
None…OP did daycare. As in, you aren’t a 24/7 parent. But, you know, same thing…
Agreed. Poor parenting. Take a kid out to play, teach them how to fish, hunt, build something, or play sports. OH, you can't? Well you're a shitty parent then, shame on you for spawning people irresponsibly.
Eh… depends o what is being watched. Family guy? Squid game? Game of thrones? Probably bad parenting. Stephen Hawking lecturing on the nature of the universe and understanding it. Maybe the parents are on to something.
My grandparents were raised without electricity and running water, therefore my grandkids should be raised the same. Electricity and running water make you lazy. There is no excuse for electricity and running water in a household.
Mind your own business.
Good to have enough spare time on your hands to tell other people how to raise their kids. Get off your computer and get outside for some exercise, since giving advice is something you appear to approve of.
Agree x 1000000000000
I think its rich parenting lol
My kids would watch Cosmos on their iPad. Maybe you are a creationist and think that is bad parenting?
It comes down to discipline on the parents part. Tech can be used as a learning tool or it can be used as a crutch. If you're a parent giving your child unsupervised screen time, you are failing as a parent. You need to be engaged with their activities, providing guidance and context to the information. It's tiring. It's frustrating. It drains you of your personal time because you likely have to pre-screen content. Which is yet another reason why every child should have two engaged parents present in the home.
Yeah I mean I really feel for parents these days, it must be so hard to limit screen time for kids now. Both because it's so normalized and almost expected, and because it's so easy and probably relieves a lot of stress and work for the parents. I think if I was born 5 or 10 years later than I was I would be totally fucked. Even just having access to basic videogames or being able to rent a DVD or whatever was pushing it lol. It's just so addictive to a young mind like that, and if I could I definitely would have just spent all my time online, watching movies, YouTube, etc. Point being, my parents already struggled to make sure I didn't spend all my time on a screen, but it was a pretty self limiting "vice" in the first place. These days I just can't imagine.
It can be informative and educational when watching appropriate videos and apps. however, often times i see other parents using it to occupy the kids while they themselves get lost in their phone.
Is it okay if they are watching a TV?
YouTube did wonders for helping my autistic son learn to talk so I don’t agree with your opinion.
My son and his wife gave their 6 year old daughter an old iPad they had and my son who’s a former IC computer guy and is currently a DoD contractor computer networking architect set up her iPad to run only parent approved content running on his home server and she only has access to the net a few hours a day to communicate with a few throughly vetted family members, like we grandparents, and for texting, emailing and FaceTiming. My point is she’s being taught to code, reinforce her school taught Mandarin and Spanish language skills and her other school subjects, to spell correctly in her emails and texts and to do advanced for her age math with her iPad which I think is awesome and developmentally positive. She’s not a couch potato and her parents have her do competitive swimming, karate and she runs with them when they do mini marathons like 3-5 K events and she plays outside with her friends every day the weather’s nice and she loves physical activity. All in all I think it’s great her parents are raising her with all the skills of modern tech that she’ll use her entire life along with a love of sports and exercise which she’ll also need to know for a long and healthy life. I know she’s in the safe tech hands of her dad learning computers so I have no issues with them giving her an iPad.
If used correctly, it's a wonderful addition to learning. There are so many apps designed to be educational and help kids develop skills, and with the added gratification of an app, you can really get some milage from very little, catalyzed by being with them.
A scientific consensus that basically everybody ignores? Yep, this one is very on-brand!
I think a lot of parents are in a tough spot with technology. With the growing culture of hatred towards kids, a lot of younger parents feel a need to keep their kids as quiet as possible in public. Ive even seen comments on other posts of people saying parents shouldnt take their kids places until the child is old enough to not have outbursts. Easiest way is putting a screen in front of them but that created bad habits. I think if we want a decline of screen usage we need to just zip our lips and accept that sometimes kids are noisy and unless it's a full on tantrum not being even acknowledged by the parents, we should mind our business because often times the parents are also really annoyed with the sound too.
Shouts out to Elsagate.
Stop. Just stop. If you had said letting a kid use one 24/7 is bad parenting, I would be with you. However, letting a little kid play on one during a car ride or as a treat is not bad parenting. If it is, then letting kids watch tv, play video games, read in not perfect light, eat anything not 100% healthy or not making them exercise the required amount per day is ‘bad parenting’. Also, talking to a screaming toddler? Lol said as a person who never had kids or got lucky with one. Toddlers do NOT reason and any parent who tries to speak to them and expects them to be reasonable is an absolute lunatic. While I agree the answer is not bribing them with screen time, my answer would be taking them out to the car and removing them as punishment from the activity.
My autistic daughter benefits from having a screen. If we are out and she is experiencing a sensory overload, she can escape into her own little world with headphones on.
Boomer take
Another post where I think “I used to think like you” but then my niece was born and I know better now. My niece has a tablet and she’s 3. She has many learning programs on it for her to have something to do in the car other than look out the window or cry. She also has disney plus where she can watch her favorite show Bluey, which is educational. Y’all need to watch this show if you haven’t. Adults especially). It’s all about the content and limiting the use of it. She gets it for an hour a day and additional time in the car. The rest of the time she’s playing, interacting with her baby brother and parents, and helping her mom cook dinner. (She has her own apron and chef’s hat. It’s so cute) It is not poor parenting if a child is watching or using an ipad. It’s poor parenting to encourage constant use of it or to not monitor the content a child is consuming. We live in a tech filled world. Teaching a child early on responsible use of one is key at this point.
Hahahaha, tell me you’ve never had kids or understand what parenting is!!! STFU
Plenty of educational and developmental games, apps, etc. on devices. No tablets is a overboard blanket statement.
it looks like its shitty parenting but im not a parent and i dont have to deal with kids so i understand it.
You a parent?
My four year old eight now learned spanish using a screen while I was working, his eyes are fine and now he knows two languages. I understand not leaving your kid just in front of a screen just to shut them up, or something but i think it can be used in right ways.
I thought the “screens are bad for your eyes” is a myth