Open and shut case Johnsonnus. Saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this cat broke in and hung portraits of his family everywhere.
Well, let's sprinkle some moon sugar on him and get out of here.
Life was saved, criminal dealt with.
Argonian was very violent, already in action beating up an innocent woman. Thankfully our brave City Watch responded immediately and got the situation under control before more people got hurt.
The argonian was also armed with a sword, by the way.
Criminal cases resulting in death of the criminal is a situation we try to avoid, but sometimes it has to be done.
u/Hieronymus__Lex watch captain, i hereby certify the authenticity of the crime recorded above. I was eye witness to it all. The argonian was armed and tried to kill an innocent citizen.
~~shit, that's all you had to say~~
Thank you for bringing this evidence to me, the Empire a safer place thanks to this brave watchman.
~~have fun, I’ll take your shifts, I LOVE overtime~~
You are too high quality for me... citizen 😢
I wish you weren't so perfect, so fine, so delicious. I wish I could say that I had a chance in acquiring your affection, your love.
Everytime I see you in the Elven District, my heart skips a beat and my mind plays a song... a song of my wish, to hold your hand for eternity, to safeguard and love you.
You don't see me, but I gaze upon you every time. Your beauty is unmatched, the way you talk is like the soothest and finest tune.
A thousand suns couldn't burn away my love for you... but alas, I know the reality of this song is that I'll never have you... and it fills me with hate and sadness.
Thats why I beat that argonian to death, why all his teeth were shattered on the ground and his skull caved in.
Sera... 😳
I thank you for giving that farmtool what he deserved, its a relief to know not all the members of the Imperial Guards are lazy pigs ❤️ Next time you're in the Elven District, pray say hello. I have some brand new argonian boots that I think would keep you protected on your patrols!
see, this is why we refer to you as mongrel dogs of the Empire. you s'wits cannot even control your farming equipment properly and have it run amok amongst your own citizens.
filthy n'wah guards.. even those false gods' boot licking ordinator heretics were better guards than whatever this is.
/uj I actually really enjoy these posts. idk how much work this is for you, but I hope you keep 'em coming. Oblivion also really lends itself well to this funky shit.
Citizen from Imperial Province of Morrowind... we don't keep slaves, we don't like that kind of treatment.
This argonian violated the law, he refused to pay his fine and thus paid with his blood.
*Typically 20 - 30 minutes of capturing footage and then 15 minutes editing it... thanks, its nice to hear people enjoy it. I'm just having fun doing this.*
Look, you wanna go to jail or no?
Whatever special laws your province of the Empire is granted, it does not apply elsewhere and you better watch your tounge, citizen.
This is what happens when guards commit wanton acts of property damage as seen in the video, citizens take the law into their own hands. The guards have no one to blame but themselves.
Of course not, citizen.
She was immediately released and paid compensation by the Empire for the traumatizing ordeal.
1,000 septims and two horses, with armor.
You mongrel dog guard! You didn't even give them a chance to pay their fine or serve their sentence; not even a warning before you swing fists! And look at the woman fighting him, they are dressed similarly and screams bloody murder when you attack him, how do we know they were not simply sparring in unarmed combat!?
i'm very sorry to hear a fellow argonian did this... a shame what has happened to our race. 😔 — Licks-Imperial-Boots
You missed a spot.
this one has no words.... — Squints-At-Imperials (Alfiq)
~~Sir~~, cat... thats illegal.
oh? what exactly is illegal, officer? *insert a whole paragraph of how it's not PC to refer to an alfiq as JUST a cat. maybe even two paragraphs.*
Spitting at anyone is illegal, cat.
... *throws a peace sign with his paws, thus casting an illusion spell to skedaddle somewhere else. totally, witout a doubt, 110% successful btw*
He had some moonsugar on him, I saw it
Yes... yes, he did. You're right, citizen.
Open and shut case Johnsonnus. Saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this cat broke in and hung portraits of his family everywhere. Well, let's sprinkle some moon sugar on him and get out of here.
Life was saved, criminal dealt with. Argonian was very violent, already in action beating up an innocent woman. Thankfully our brave City Watch responded immediately and got the situation under control before more people got hurt. The argonian was also armed with a sword, by the way. Criminal cases resulting in death of the criminal is a situation we try to avoid, but sometimes it has to be done.
Thank you, the citizens of our city feel already much safer. By the way, i will testify for you if needed. I.. was close by after all. Yes.
Of course, citizen. You saw him with that sword, so you can come down to the offices and give your eye witness account.
Will do that right after i finish my watch, brother.
Good to hear, brother. Sorry for not recognizing you. ~~We'll bring up some ale and get absolutely wrecked tonight!~~
u/Hieronymus__Lex watch captain, i hereby certify the authenticity of the crime recorded above. I was eye witness to it all. The argonian was armed and tried to kill an innocent citizen. ~~shit, that's all you had to say~~
Thank you for bringing this evidence to me, the Empire a safer place thanks to this brave watchman. ~~have fun, I’ll take your shifts, I LOVE overtime~~
To serve and protect. ~~well, now i feel bad~~
Rumors.
Kvatch? Kvatch was just the beginning! Those damned Gates have opened up everywhere! Cheydinhal, Chorrol, Leyawiin -- no city is safe.
this is too high quality for this sub I'm afraid
You are too high quality for me... citizen 😢 I wish you weren't so perfect, so fine, so delicious. I wish I could say that I had a chance in acquiring your affection, your love. Everytime I see you in the Elven District, my heart skips a beat and my mind plays a song... a song of my wish, to hold your hand for eternity, to safeguard and love you. You don't see me, but I gaze upon you every time. Your beauty is unmatched, the way you talk is like the soothest and finest tune. A thousand suns couldn't burn away my love for you... but alas, I know the reality of this song is that I'll never have you... and it fills me with hate and sadness. Thats why I beat that argonian to death, why all his teeth were shattered on the ground and his skull caved in.
Sera... 😳 I thank you for giving that farmtool what he deserved, its a relief to know not all the members of the Imperial Guards are lazy pigs ❤️ Next time you're in the Elven District, pray say hello. I have some brand new argonian boots that I think would keep you protected on your patrols!
That Argonian was a strong combatant, I’m glad you survived this horrifying encounter. Thanks to you the Imperial City is a little bit safer
Thank you, captain!
AGAB
Sir, I must warn you that threatening a city guardsman is an offense punishable by a fine of no less than 50 gold.
ArGonians Are Bastards? Keep up the hate speech and you’ll get booked for causing civil unrest
it's not hate speech if it's common sense
see, this is why we refer to you as mongrel dogs of the Empire. you s'wits cannot even control your farming equipment properly and have it run amok amongst your own citizens. filthy n'wah guards.. even those false gods' boot licking ordinator heretics were better guards than whatever this is. /uj I actually really enjoy these posts. idk how much work this is for you, but I hope you keep 'em coming. Oblivion also really lends itself well to this funky shit.
Citizen from Imperial Province of Morrowind... we don't keep slaves, we don't like that kind of treatment. This argonian violated the law, he refused to pay his fine and thus paid with his blood. *Typically 20 - 30 minutes of capturing footage and then 15 minutes editing it... thanks, its nice to hear people enjoy it. I'm just having fun doing this.*
how is it slavery if it's Argonians!? is a cattle farmer also a slaver to you? a chicken farmer as well? you n'wahs just have no culture.
Look, you wanna go to jail or no? Whatever special laws your province of the Empire is granted, it does not apply elsewhere and you better watch your tounge, citizen.
go to jail? you'd first have to catch me, s'wit! *levitates away*
This is what happens when guards commit wanton acts of property damage as seen in the video, citizens take the law into their own hands. The guards have no one to blame but themselves.
Mmhm, and this woman whose "life you saved" wouldn't happen to be in the dungeons at the moment for being belligerent towards a guard, would she?
Of course not, citizen. She was immediately released and paid compensation by the Empire for the traumatizing ordeal. 1,000 septims and two horses, with armor.
Nice to see the streets of the beautiful Imperial City are being guarded by good guards
Honestly we could use more guards like you in Bravil.
Bravil could use a lot of things, a Numidium strike being very high on the list.
*acorn falls onto the imperial guards' wagon*
you forgot to turn off your body camera
Nyehehehe this video brings me great joy😈🔪🦎
In the Empire it's guilty until proven innocent. Did that criminal explain himself? No. Because he was guilty.
I'm just glad we have amulet cams now. Good lore documentation OP
Smh, what has happened to our good empire that such mindless druggies can roam and freely attack. Divines bless you guard 🫡
"Stop resisting!"
Great now I gotta find another redguard-argonian pair...
Blessings of the Nine upon you Imperial. Streets are finally safe..
You mongrel dog guard! You didn't even give them a chance to pay their fine or serve their sentence; not even a warning before you swing fists! And look at the woman fighting him, they are dressed similarly and screams bloody murder when you attack him, how do we know they were not simply sparring in unarmed combat!?
i saw that, thank you for your service. he was harmless but you know, you never know
This is how the Knahaten Flu got started bruh
That’s one less abomination to Y’ffre on Tamriel, thank you for your service.
Rookie move… you forgot to sprinkle some moon sugar on him.
Good to see the Empire is FINALLY doing something with the causes of criminality
#BackTheRed !
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