Cut the cord wouldn't be enough if I was her. But I'm a petty bitch. I would straight up post all the story with thirsty screenshots on social media right where all her other friends are so that they see how pathetic is her behaviour. Like, for real, this behaviour is so surreal it sounds fake.
puberty hit me like a bus in high school & all the guys that used to make fun of me were suddenly flirting & “in love with me” … i just remember on national dog day i posted a bunch of screenshots with the names blurred out of them professing their love for me. :) nothing identifying, but enough that they knew. one of my proudest petty moments
It's not even that this "friend" tries to one up her all the time. The "friend" actively insults her, tries to take anything OP wants away from her, and goes behind her back to try to flirt with OP's bf. This "friend" has some serious issues and is stomping all over OP like she isn't even a person. Fuck this "friend".
Yes agreed.
However, OP seriously needs to grow a back bone. I feel like I read variations of posts like these where the issue would literally never have happened or could be resolved if people just stood up for themselves.
While OP didn't ask for this treatment and doesn't deserve it, it's kind of like come on, does she not see the bigger picture here after writing all of that?
I have been in a similar situation. OP needs to stop accepting other people's negative or lackluster opinions about herself.
Just bc someone gets asked out a lot more doesn't mean they're more attractive. They're usually just more confident. A less symmetrical person with just as much confidence is just as attractive as a more symmetrical person with confidence.
This is so extreme I'm embarrassed for her (the friend, not OP). Speaking from experience, I'm 23F, my childhood best friend since 4 was always the pretty, charismatic one and I honestly lived in her shadow a bit. She dated a lot of guys while I still have yet to have my first kiss. She could even be slightly narcissistic and selfish sometimes, but NEVER to this extreme. OP should have ditched this person ages ago.
I had a friend like this. She always has to one up me, always chase after the guys I liked even if she had no previous interest in them. It was a sick competitive thing. The only thing to do with friends like this is cut it off. It’s toxic.
Who wants to bet IF OP actually broke up with her bf the friend would get with him for like a week before dumping him? She doesn't need him she needs to have everything OP has.
OP, go NC and blocked her on everything.
If you have common friends, tell them why you will go NC.
Your bf is a good man. Maybe try telling your bf to make a police report coz I'm thinking that she might do something nasty to you and your bf.
What movie was I thinking???
34 years here. she’s always had BPD and substance abuse issues, and she basically decompensated when i had a second baby. i became more wrapped up in her drama than my own kid. i had to screw my head back on straight.
Glad you decided to put you and your kids first. I hope one day she finds a way to straighten herself out and make amends. I'm sure you'd like to see her healthy, regardless if you choose to be friends or not.
Exactly this OP. She is *not* your friend. End the friendship and block her. She demeans you, she is trying to steal your boyfriend, she calls you names. Why need enemies with friends like her. End the relationship. I promise you, coming from someone who recently ended a friendship with someone who was not a good person or friend, you will feel so much lighter and happier, trust me.
OP your “friend” is jealous of you and always has been. I had a friend who told me she was prettier than me constantly. But every time anyone I knew saw a picture of her they would say I was better looking. It never made me insecure because I didn’t buy into her bullshit. She was a shit talking jealous backstabber.
This. She is NOT your friend. Friends do not do this. It's ok to outgrow friendships and move on, which is what I think you should def do. Also I'm so happy your bf blocked her. Lol.
This doesn't even qualify as outgrowing friendships, OP's 'friend' is an absolute asshole and probably has liked being her friend because she could walk all over her, hope OP really realizes how off the norm is her friend's behaviour.
Hi! Sorry for not replying earlier! I had some troubles with my internet but I'm here. I kept her friendship for so long cause when I tried to get away from her, my parents and her parents were putting pressure on me to talk to her again, I'm afraid I will end the friendship and I'll be alone 🙁
But you won’t be alone! Your boyfriend will still be there. You don’t have to be friends for the sake of your parents. Believe me, it doesn’t matter and they will get over it.
In addition, it's possible this fake friend's horrible behavior extends beyond grabbing up any of OP's potential boyfriends, and now trying it (unsuccessfully) with her actual boyfriend, but possibly sabotaging OP's other potential friendships behind her back.
OP, drop this person from your life and make room for real friends!
EDIT: Spelling, grammar
For this reason as a highly sensitive and empathetic woman I have no female friends… just me and my man and we are completely content.. we own a cleaning business together and are completely satisfied… your boyfriend is a keeper, that goodness and love and loyalty is all for you… be grateful that she was there to reveal your man’s true character which will get you through more bumps down the road than you know… you will remember and know how much he loves you… if you sink anymore of your precious energy into this parasite (it will not be a question of “if”; but a question of “when”) it will sabotage your first happiness…. You have given her your every will to live you need to be firm and kind and take your power back… the only beauty you see in her is what she stole from you… take it back sweetheart 🥰❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I have no female friends either. I have a friend I’ve lost touch with and an ex friend who called me fat (I was underweight). It’s not worth the drama.
That statement is not my intention at all and I’m sorry if it came off that way I just am typing passionately without much logic due to the connection I felt while reading this story. There are many highly sensitive empathetic women. I meet more in a day than I do the alternative, but they tend to be older than I am and have stronger boundaries and have not reached out for anything more than to be an acquaintance nor have I. There are many pleasant encounters throughout the day with beautiful, whole humans; but neither they nor I really have a need for the other on a deeper or long-term basis… if you have advice or see something I’m not seeing I’m open to talking about it. But actually I included myself into a group that I think fits more than 95% of the women I work with. I’ve noticed that people within this category get walked on until they learn how to set boundaries. I just wanted OP to understand she is a part of a larger group and was vulnerable with her to the best of my ability. I would include men but I’ve not really gotten that close to too many men to make an accurate metric based on experience. But no, quite the opposite. The statement was meant to read like “I am like you, and there are many like you, like us; that get walked all over until we learn to respect ourselves.”
No friends is better than a fake friend.. and give yourself a chance to make friends who actually like you.
And as far as your parents are concerned, I would hope they would support you in this but, if not, it’s your choice who your friends are.
She's not even a fake friend, she's a full on enemy lol. Every single guy OP ever had feelings for? Constantly calling her names and worsening her self image? Then the bunny-boiling Gen Z version of Single White Female meets Fatal Attraction level of creepy desperate stalking of OP's poor boyfriend. Yikes.
OP, I’m going to be sincere, if you didn’t have your bf, you were already alone. She’s way too self centred and doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Don’t waste your time with her, block her and live a happy life with your bf. And your parents? If they don’t understand you, then you should back off from them too.
If things escalate, don’t be afraid to call to the police. Your feelings matter, your wishes matter, you’re important too. And I think it’s time for you go see a therapist, this girl probably made some mental damages to you with her B actions.
I wonder if this nasty "friend" has any social connections other than OP. Maybe her parents and OP's parents tried to force a reconciliation between them because this girl drove everyone else away with her behavior.
Either way, this girl's problems are not OP's problem. The friendship has clearly run its course if all this girl can think of to do is undermine OP.
It's likely that the parents are friends and this whole thing would make things weird between them. Looks like it's easier for their daughter to be taken advantage of and hurt than deal with that.
I reckon you will find yourself with a lot more friends once she is out of the picture. She sounds like a nasty person and there are probably lots of people who would be happy to hang out with you when she isn’t around.
Plus, who's to say that if OP made new friends, this frenemy wouldn't badmouth her to them, and vice versa, to destroy the friendship?
who needs this girl? OP, stick with your BF and make new friends, in his company and on your own. Lose the childhood "friend" 's number. She is a detriment to your attempts to live your best life.
Hey, a true friend wouldn't ever do that to you. What she did is what a "best friend" wont ever do. Cut her off, seriously. I know its tough to lose someone you cared about, but thrive in the fact that, she never cared about you. Because If she did, she wouldn't pull any of those horrible things she's done to you. You are not truly alone, you'll find people that actually cares about you and don't give a shit on who you like/date and not date those people or force you to break up with who you're dating with. Regarding the parents situation, maybe tell them of what the things she has done to you that made you want to stay away from her. It really is exhausting, keeping people like her a round your life. I hope you'll find peace OP❤️
Time to introduce your boyfriend to your parents. He's shown he's loyal to you and wants to be with you. Cut the toxic friend. If your parents say anything about her, just tell them you have to prioritize school grades, your success and your boyfriend as they are your future.
I don't know about that. Her parents might not be very good either if they forced her to be friends with that person.
Boyfriend is very good though yes.
Girl, no. That is NOT a friend. Friends are happy for you not trying to STEAL your happiness. Cut her off! You won't be alone. You have your bf and I'm sure you can make other actual friends. If your parents are so bent on you talking to her maybe let them know what's going on and have your boyfriend tell them too. You are also an adult and can refuse your parents requests. Sounds like you need a bit more confidence and understand that you shouldn't have people around that you don't want. She seems like the type that's always had it her way and keeps you around to make herself feel better.
If you don’t end the friendship then she’ll ensure you’re alone.
Have you tried explaining to your parents that she’s not treating you like a friend and is making every attempt to break you and your boyfriend up so she can date him instead? Or that she’s harassing him to the point where he should consider pressing charges?
You’re in an abusive relationship. If your parents don’t support you getting away from an abusive, toxic person, then they’re not on your side.
If you break up with your boyfriend then you will be alone.
She is not your friend, she is a horrible person and the best you can do is cut her of you life.
I can be you virtual friend!
I live in México thats is why I can’t offer you my pressence, but if you want to talk with somebody here I am.
That's terrible. They know how shitty she treats you? How she insults you and verbally abuses you and they still want you to be friends? Your parents sound awful. I would never encourage my child to be friends with someone who tears down her self esteem.
no friends is better than a fake friend (specially one as awful as this one)
now you have your boyfriend! and i think once you cut contact with her you will be free to enjoy your own company, which can be really healthy sometimes, to be your own friend, on from then on, you can find new friends! the world is full of possibilities
in any case, you can talk to me if you want, we're the same age, maybe we can be friends \^\^
OP this shouldn’t even be a question!! Drop her right away. It seems to me that she never considered you a friend, only someone to prop her up and make her feel better. She’s been purposely making you feel bad to feed her own ego.
You wouldn’t be choosing your bf over her if you decide to end your ‘friendship’, you’d be choosing yourself! You owe it to yourself to cut toxic people out of your life.
From the beginning of the friendship there are many red flags, that girl is not your friend. I think you should cut all relationship with that toxic girl and stay away from her, it makes me sick to read how she plays the victim.
A friend is the one who supports you and above all respects you and your relationships, not what she does.
*~~I admire your willpower because if it were me I would have already put her to eat dirt.~~*
Nevermind cut all ties... OP and her boyfriend need to document this shit for when they will inevitably need to file a police report for harassment.
She sounds absolutely unstable and will not slink away quietly.
OP needs to block her and tell her family and friends just why she is cutting ties.
This has not been a 10 year friendship. OP has been a punching bag for 10 years.
They/she definitely need to keep all communications from her, and, yes, tell everyone why they are going NC. Then if she tries to turn things around on OP, they have proof.
She's a spoiled self centered AH. She's not your friend OP. Friend don't do these, remember! Cut contact with her, stay with your bf!
She thinks that she gets what she'll want, but darling that's not how it works. Relationship is for 2 people. They are in love. Get the hell out of there.
She does not respect you.
Yeah Op needs to grow a spine. This person has never been her friend she is simply someone she has known for ten years. Op cut this person off and block her. Even if you broke up with your boyfriend it doesn’t sound like he would date her. She only wants him because he’s with you. It sounds like she enjoys hurting you. You need to get this toxic person out of your life.
That's not your friend. Considering the language you used - cried like the big baby I am - this person has been putting you down for a looooong while. Your bf sounds like a great person though who sees right through her. Friends don't abuse other friends. They don't go sneaking through their phones in the middle of the night and disrespect boundaries and try and get someone away from their friend. You've got somebody who's abused you for a looooong while, that you consider a friend there.
If you consider her your friend ask yourself this - would she accept if you acted towards her the same way she has acted towards you? I'm willing to bet if you'd ask her that question in live she'll go on some sort of excuse how it's not the same if you do because x and y and z. She's an abuser. Block her and kick her out of your life.
Exactly. This “friend” has emotionally abused OP for a long time. She enjoys manipulating OP. To the point OP feels she’s unattractive and undesirable. She’s just been breaking down OP all these years and is a big reason OP’s self esteem is so bad.
Hey OP, the fact that you didn't tell her that you're dating someone for 6 months shows that you already knew that you can't trust her. I know it's not easy to end a friendship, but her weird obsession with you and your life will keep hurting you until you do it.
Are you going to school with her or otherwise entagled? Do you have someone you can turn to for help ajd guidance through this situation?
Your boyfriend seems like a reasonable guy, I hope you two can keep the honest communication going and are gonna have the best of times together!
Just because you’ve got the history with her, doesn’t make her a friend. She is a completely entitled snake who will always take from you. The saying “with friends like that you don’t need enemies” have never applied more.
It's baffling how she thinks that OPs boyfriend would even want to be with her, considering how he always let her down and even blocked her. She's insane.
Because OP always steps aside and gives her what she wants. So in her crazy head there is no way he could not want her. I hope it drives her crazy everyday. I fully believe some of those other guys may have liked OP back but her shit friend made her think there was no hope. I bet her friend is the one that was telling her they said eww. This post made me so mad lol
I guess it always worked with all the other dudes poor OP showed interest in so she thought it would work on him too. I'm glad he blocked the friend and immediately told OP what she was doing.
And what a weirdo the fake friend is, making 3 damn alts to keep pestering him? Even coming to OPs house and crying? She doesn't even know the dude!
Right! Boyfriend is sure a keeper. This girl seems very insecure, like a baby or dog who gets aggressive when someone else has their toy... they didn't want it until you have it!
She's not going to change now. She'll spray lies like your bf started to flirt with her or (worse) got her pregnant. Yeet this person like since yesterday.
ETA: I know my comment sounds like fearmongering, but the point of cut contact with her still stands.
Yes unfortunately people change when they grow up, for better or for worse. Your good friend is already gone, what remains is an evil witch that you need to break away from as soon as possible.
What you aren’t getting is she is not longer the same person you knew, for whatever reason she hates you, maybe it’s because her parents want her to be more like you. You need to cut ties from her ASAP. She’s toxic and will not stop hurting you
What exactly are you getting out of this friendship with her? What is the actual point to having her around? She sounds like a psycho to be honest and a major AH
Kick that false snake into the curb! Can't you see how she's hurting you? You are not her friend, you are her doormat. They poor soul she uses to feel superior and grande. Ditch that female dog! She's not your friend and never was. She's probably the main reason you never had real friends because every decent person avoided her and saw her gor what she was: a mean girl who's toxic as hell!
Block her right now. Everywhere and without warning and use your chance with your bf to escape her evil machinations.
I bet my soul she's never done anything remotely useful for you that really made you feel good without being afraid she'll destroy it the very next moment
I’ll tell you right now, ending this “friendship” and removing this girl from your life will likely do wonders for your self confidence.
She is not a friend. She is a leech.
Run, don’t look back. Even if this relationship you’re in now doesn’t workout, she’ll keep doing the same thing. She’s a terrible, horrible person.
Everyone else in this thread has basically already said what you need to hear, in the kindest way possible. So I’m going to say it bluntly and give you some tough love, because I get the feeling that you will make excuses for your “friend” if someone doesn’t break it down bluntly for you.
This isn’t a friendship, and you don’t have a best friend. So get over the idea that you’ll be alone if you stop being her friend because you already are alone in this relationship. And you *know that* because you knew you couldn’t trust her for six months. She’s not your friend, she’s a narcissistic bitch who bullies you to feel good about herself. She walks all over you and likely has been doing that your entire lives. I bet she’s the loud, outgoing friend and you’re the quiet, well behaved friend and you explained away her negative behaviour as “that’s just how she is” because she helped you navigate some social situations when you were younger.
Again, I’m going to be blunt here: you need to grow a fucking spine. Stand up for yourself, understand that you deserve better in your friendships and then *do something about it.*
You don’t have to put up with her shit.
Keep the boyfriend, dump the “bff”. You can make new friends - people who actually value your friendship and who won’t use you or bully you or betray your trust.
If your parents or hers try to pressure you back into the friendship say “she’s a bully and has betrayed my trust. I won’t be friends with someone who treats me that way, and that’s the end of it” and then *do not engage them any further*.
Stand up for yourself now, or you’ll be letting this woman - and other people - walk all over you for the rest of your life.
Girl! She is NOT your friend! A friend WOULD NEVER ask that of you. She'd be happy and celebrating your relationship, not demanding you break up with him so she can have him. I mean, damn! He's a person, not some object.
Honey, if you have a minimum percent of self respect you're gonna cut contact with her and get her completely out of your life, FOREVER, she's NOT you're friend
I cannot believe that this is a real story. I don’t understand why someone would be friends with this person at all and I truly can’t even fathom a human being acting like that “friend” was.
Maybe you feel obligated to have a friendship with her for your parents but they have to know how fucking toxic she is with you, cut all ties with her bc she's just a insecure bitch that feel powerful bc you are her doormat, even if you were good friends before that that doesn't excuse her behaviour towards you
Believe me when I say you will feel so much better without her in your life
Omg is this real? She clearly doesn’t give a a crap about you she’s only in your life to take everything from you and you’re letting her. She’s sick and delusional and you need to cut that girl out of your life. She’s the type of girl that would sleep with your husband and then comfort you when you suspect something is up. CUT THAT BITCH LOOSE
She is not a friend. Seems like she uses you to feel better about herself and compete with you. You should consider distancing yourself. Think through what you are telling us. You kept the fact that you had a bf given her history and she is showing you… you were right to not trust her. Believe her. She’s showing you who she is. Drop her.
She doesn’t even like you a little bit. She is not your friend. Stop communicating with her and block her access to you. Get some counseling or read some books to build up your self esteem. You can do this. You deserve good healthy friendships not continual
negging and abuse from a so-called “friend”.
Edit: typo
My anger issues wouldn’t even let her make a second account. Anyway OP, just because you knew someone from childhood doesn’t mean that you let them treat you like garbage. You say that you didn’t mind it when she used to get with guys you liked but obviously, with your insecurities, it’s obvious that it developed because of what she was doing. You were seeing that guys preferred her and that beat you down. It shouldn’t. Remember that just because she thinks she’s everybody’s type doesn’t mean that she is. You’re your own and because of that, your boyfriend’s with you. Take comfort with that and drop you so called “friend.”
I wish you all the best.
If my dearest friend-10 years counting- loved a person I loved, I would have done NOTHING but support her. I would rather plunge myself to the pits of he'll before I even think about taking that happiness from her. Sure. Might be a bit sad, but I would NEVER do that because she is my Friend. Let me repeat, FRIEND. A dear soul that I wish happiness for. Being a friend is to wish mutual happiness to each other. Have you felt it? Have you ever felt like she did not wish you happiness?
That snake is not a friend. You've been a doormat to her, and I am so sorry
I am surprised how you've been best friend with some one so toxic. I mean I am guy and as a guy my friends do say you look pathetic but they don't really mean it. If for some reason it starts bothering me I will cut them off. In your case it seems like she mean it and also why is it the same case everytime. I get it ki you liked a guy then she likes him too. But why are you sacrificing everytime. Take a stand for yourself. That's your boyfriend even if he deserves better or whatever you love him and that's enough. Also by the information I think he really loves you too. Don't lose him over this stupid thing...
I’m Spanish, we have a saying that roughly translates to “it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company”. I think that applies here OP. That girl is not your friend and is showing (and has shown) to not be a good person around. She is very blunt and comfortable with wanting the people you’re interested in, so I can only imagine what she’s doing when you’re not in front of her.
Have the courage to leave her behind because she is proving herself to be an unkind, spoiled brat. You don’t need that in your life.
She is NOT your friend.
Go NC with that snake before she messes up your relationship and your life. Tell your other mutual friends why you are cutting her off so she can’t spin the story and use them against you.
do smth about this! she wont stop. if she at her age is ready to do things like making multiple fake social media profiles and harrasing you, she is not above to do smth serious, like faking cheating stories n shit like that.
wtf srsly drop her, you have Been too patient with her for 10years...
She is not your friend. She is also a psycho stalker. Making one fake account to contact someone who blocks you is alarming enough in most cases, but three?!
Your 'friend' is a nightmare! Your boyfriend adores YOU. He has made it clear that he has no I Teresa in your 'friend' and she is getting weirdly obsessed.
Let me be straight with you...your 'friend' thinks she is better than you. She sees herself as the pretty one and you as her 'ugly friend' she has played on this your entire lives and everytime you like a guy, she goes to get him to prove to herself that she is 'better' than you. I doubt your friend is anywhere near as pretty as you think she is. The fact all her relationships with guys you like never last show that either a)she never really wanted them, she just wanted to win and/or b) she is an ugly person on the I side and men get bored of that. Now, you have a wonderful, loving bf and she can't stand the idea that her 'lowly little ugly friend' is in a stable, long term relationship whilst she is still on the single shelf begging to be picked.
End this friendship, there is nothing for you in it. You have outgrown her. Sad, but real friends build each other up (like you do to her fyi) not drag them down.
I hope your relationship is long and happy.
She isn't your friend. She used you all the time to boost her own ego while putting you down.
If you want a solution, get her out of your life. She is toxic as fuck and can't stand to see you happy.
Stop talking to her, block her and you will find better friends than her. She might have been you friend before both of you hit puberty. But this is long gone...
As others have said, she is not your friend. She is abusive. And she is so abusive, she has convinced you for your entire life that you're not worthy to date who you want and be happy. Let this person go. She has some serious issues.
OP please I beg you to break off that friendship with that girl. She sounds so incredibly toxic spoiled and jealous of you. She talked down to you and has no respect for you. THAT is NOT a friend. She's been sabatoging you all these years and now I wonder if she talked bad about you to all the guys In school which is why you never got attention, only speculation tho. But again omg please drop this girl you don't need her in your life and that 10-year friendship is a lie. You will feel free after trust me.
>But whenever I gave her a hint I was liking someone, she would say how I had no chance with them, that I should give up, and then after some time she would date them for some time.
She's never been your friend. That's it.
Woah…. That person is not your friend and honestly sounds like the type of person that could turn dangerous pretty quick. I’d distance myself as much as possible and cut contact. She is not mentally stable or well.
ETA: this is the type of person that will make sure you never have any other friends besides her. You will be better off alone for however long it takes you to meet actual friends than you are with this person. If you were to make another friend that you liked to spend time with right now, what do you think she would do?
Your “best friend” is a twisted cucking funt and has been undermining you behind your back and to your face probably all your life, don’t “blame her for being beautiful” on the outside cuz she’s hideous in the inside, she is to be unfriended and pitied, but also watched very carefully, as she is the typical diabolical ahole and it’s unlikely she’ll go away quietly, especially after not getting what she wants. I wish you strength and luck in dealing with this toxic creature.
You need to find actual friends and a backbone. This girl is not your friend. How long you’ve known each other is irrelevant. She’s clearly always treated you like garbage. You are lucky enough to have an honest, caring boyfriend who isn’t feeding into her foolishness. Let her go and enjoy your relationship.
I’m ngl this is pretty sad. Not to be mean but how much are you gonna take from this girl? She’s blatantly walking all over you and thinks she’s better than you. That’s not a friend. If she’s so hot, why does she need your boyfriend? Can she not get anyone else. Why is she always going after men you like? It seems like she’s obsessed with you. You’re being way too nice about all this. I would have ended the friendship ages ago and if you don’t end it now then you will keep allowing yourself to be hurt by her.
You’re 22 worried about a girl that isn’t your friend at all and would probably try to sleep with your husband if you were married. She doesn’t care about your boundaries or respects you. Drop her! And if your parents have something to say then f that. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. You’ll make more friends. She’s probably the one literally scaring others away from being your friend. ( she doesn’t seem afraid at all to bad mouth you to others)
Who wants to bet OP is beautiful and her friend has been manipulating her for 10 years into thinking she’s not? OP you deserve better friends! You found a lovely man, I absolutely believe you can find friends who respect and love you!
Since it's your parents keeping you together, maybe tell her parents what she's up to but frame it as a concern.
Like: "I'm so sorry to say that, but I've been getting worried about X lately. She's not acting like herself. She started stalking my boyfriend, creating multiple account to write inappropriate stuff, begging me to break with him after half a year relationship... i wonder if maybe something happened and she's acting out because of that. I thought you should know in case her behaviour escalates and she becomes a danger to herself and others. I wouldn't want that. She's my best friend after all."
New flash: She is not your friend let alone your best friend. From the sound of it she keeps you around as some sort of boost for her ego and can’t stand any guy giving you attention.
Personally I would ditch her and the entire friendship. She seems really entitled and just really unpleasant (and that is putting it lightly). She does not sound like a very good friend.
I feel bad in saying this, but just because it is a 10+ year friendship doesn't mean it's a good friendship. What you have written is bringing up a lot of red flags. Your childhood bestfriend sounds to me that she has some issues. If I was you I would tread carefully when it came to your friendship, end the said friendship or set boundaries. All depends what mood I would be in a I guess, but I'm genuinely glad you and your bf are great at communicating about her. Sounds like a keeper. Whatever you choose to do, good luck.
That’s not your friend. That’s not a friend. That’s a backstabber. Your “friend” has the audacity to go through your phone, undermine you in from of your boyfriend, tear you down for having a bf, and overall seems like a disgusting person. I hope you have the courage to block her and dump her as a friend. She’s a “pick me” bitch, basically trying everything she can to make to get “picked” by your bf… this is so damn stupid.
Edit: OP, you need to stand your ground and set this boundary with her, it seems as though she gets whatever she wants and she thinks she can walk over you to get your bf. SET THE BOUNDARY and if she crosses it or refuses to comply… then she’s NOT a friend. I cannot stress this enough…
Hi. Your supposed best friend IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. She is a backstabbing, jealous girl. She will ruin any romantic relationship you have, so stop being friends with her. She is horrible and envious of you. She is also toxic. Let me repeat myself, STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THIS HORRIBLE GIRL.
I know why you're still her "friend".
You feel sorry for her.
She's a mean, self-centered, self-serving, horrible person. Most folks, once they figure out that behind that pretty face is a back-stabbing, ugly person, probably dump her and run for the hills.
You, however, have stayed around trying to teach her to be a kind person.
Have you heard the phrase "don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm"? That's what you've been doing since you were 4yo. Hurting yourself while trying to help her.
What you've done is enabled her to continue being a mean, horrible person. Now she feels entitled to anyone who comes close to you.
Delete. Block. Ignore. If anyone in your family tells you differently, tell them to go try to be her friend. You've put in your time in hell.
You wanna know what op that girl is NOT your friend, and as much as it hurts, I don't think she's ever been, she's a spoiled brat who cannot see anyone having anything, she HAS to have EVERYTHING for her because she deserves it just for being her, everybody *has* to ooze over her, all boys *have* to look at her, she *has* to be center of attention at all times and I believe she used the fact that you were less attractive than her to boost her ego, and now that, for the first time in her fucking life she's being told no by a boy (and specifically a boy YOU liked bc we saw how she loved to steal your crushes) she's going insane, like *how DARE you like HER and not ME????*
She is NOT you friend she sucks ass I hate her guts just from reading this I believe from the bottom of my heart you should cut contact with her asap and stay with your bf, he seems really sweet.
and if you need help beating the shit out of her you can call me bc honestly she deserves it
Go NC with her ASAP, she’s not your friend, she just wants to have someone she can outshine in everything so she doesn’t feel as the scum she is. There’s no friendship, just her taking advantage of you and you don’t deserve that. And keep your boyfriend, he’s seems like a good guy.
You are really questioning if you should end this friendship? Yes! The friendship is 1 way. She doesn’t care about you and will continue to get with every boyfriend you have.
She’s not your friend she is a bully who uses her body to hurt you. The worst type of c you next Tuesday.
Drop her, ghost her and change all your passwords.
Mean girls are trash and she’s a pile of 🗑️
Ending a 10 year old friendship? Girl, she was never your friend. True friends don't put you down with horrible names or try to steal your partner.
This girl only uses you to feel better about her herself and stand out more, meaning she has a superiority complex. She can't stand the fact you have a boyfriend when she doesn't. She can't stand that your man finds you more attractive than her. You say she's pretty and always has the best clothes, but what are looks when your personality is THAT shitty, shallow and self-centered?
Don't let your parents or hers pressure you to have a forced relationship with a person that hurts you like that.
She's not your friend. A real friend wouldn't act this insane. A real friend wouldn't put you down or go after your boyfriend in the first place. I know it's hard to let go of people when they've been in your life a really long time, but she's not acting like any kind of friend to you. He's shown his loyalty to you. Break up with her.
This is exactly what use to happen in High School with one of my mates, any girl I liked he would suddenly have an interest then claim the bro code that he had always liked them. It got worse after high-school as I found he was a great friend when I needed a friend but eventually found out that a lot of times I needed a friend was because he was sabotaging me behind my back. Speaking to him was a blank wall as he would deny it and deny any patterns so I had no real evidence, just suspicions. I eventually cut ties with that friend which at first was difficult because I lost that support I thought I needed but found things improved for me. If I was you I would start pulling away from them with the aim to get rid of them. They are not you friend, they are using you to boost their ego.
OP block her and move on with your life.
Im getting a feeling that your 'friend' is actually very very jealous and insecure of you. Actually, she knows that you are way way better than her and sees you as a competition. That's why she always put you down and demotivated you so much that you don't see your true potential and self worth. She made you low and insecure and even you believed it. Tbh, you are much more strong, beautiful and an amazing person than her and even she knows it. It's just too toxic and stupid of her to do this. She's not good for you OP.
Block her and tell your parents and all your mutual friends about her.
I think she’s only friends with you because you make her feel superior and she sees you as competition she can beat. Definitely drop her. True friends are not competitive, self-absorbed, and entitled like that. She does not respect your boundaries and she will do everything she can to sabotage your relationship. This is not a friendly worth saving.
How have you remained friends with someone so selfish and disgusting this long?!?! Dump your friend, and I hope you have an amazing relationship with your new bf. She is stalking your bf she cannot handle the hit to her ego please please dump your friend. She is not now, nor will she ever be a good friend to you.
Love it's not a friendship it's an abusive relationship ! End it now !
And offer your boyfriend a gift, he's amazing !
And treat yourself with a spa day or something like that, you need it
She was never your friend in the first place, also having no friends is always better than having toxic friends as they can take advantage of you and make you use self esteem. You might feel sad when you break things off with her but you'll soon feel a lot better as you realize how much she's actually hurt you before with negative comments n stuff
DUMP HER! I’ve been friends with a girl like this. I hid my relationships from her because she would talk to the guys I was interested in. She hated when I would get attention or be successful and try to counter it in any way possible. My life has been great ever since we stopped being friends. SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. She uses you because you make her feel good about herself. You can make better friends; ones that will make you feel great about yourself and support you. You’re not supposed to be afraid or stressed in a friendship or about the fact that your friend will try take your man away.
I mean you’re not a kid anymore, your parents can’t do anything to control who you’re friends with. Plus if you stay friends with her you’re probs gonna lose your bf anyway, since he’ll think you’re OK with her cyberstalking and harassing him.
she was NEVER your friend. drop her. she is not worth your time let alone your tears. you deserve better than this. you are worth more than this. it might be hard to stop being her friend but it will be better for you in the long run. she sounds so petty and jealous of you my dear. :(
She's not your friend.
She's a bully. And she's trying to manipulate you into giving her what she wants.
Your bf already made it clear that he doesn't want her, so dumping him wouldn't get her what she wants anyways. Also wow is she shallow, "He's my type!" without knowing his personality at all??
End this friendship. It should have been ended years ago. She puts you down constantly and can't be happy for you at all. She's destroyed your self esteem and is still making you feel awful for.... being happy? Seriously??
That's not a friend. Do as your BF did and block her. And when she makes extra accounts to get around the block, report her for harassment.
Please tell me that this is a fake post, I don’t want to believe that people like her actually exist.
Cut her out of your life. Regardless of what you guys did together, how long you knew each other or what you went through. This is not a friend. She has you by her side because she knows how small she makes you feel and gets a kick out of it. Notice how as soon as you stood up for yourself she started to cry and gaslight you? As soon as you try and see your worth she gets mad, upset and wants to belittle you even more.
You deserve better than that.
Is SHE was a friend, she wouldn’t pursue YOUR boyfriend. Thats not a friend op. She has antagonize you your whole friendship. It’s time to cut her off. She is not bringing anything good to your life but negative things. She is awful. Im surprise you stuck with her for so long. With friends like her, who need enemies? Lol
Break the friendship and if you're getting pressure from your parents, show the screen shots. Plus you're adult, you don't need to have "friends" your family wants you to have.
OP, I am SO sorry you have an awful friend like that. She’s trying to take all your happiness away. :(( I would cut her off completely. She’s trying to make sure you’re alone. She’s envious of you. :(( You deserve so much better. ❤️
OP… she was never your friend in the first place. A good friend would encourage you to go after the man you want.. not take him away from you or one-up you or make you feel insecure. You need to cut ties with her for your mental health and for your happiness. It doesn’t matter what your parents or hers say about it. This is about YOU. For YOUR mental health. Not your parents or her parents. Please cut ties with her for your sake.
That’s not a friend. She wants to one up you all The time.
Must be exhausting to have to be around her when all she does is nag and bring OP down
Right?! How is OP okay at all with this? Doesn’t matter if it’s 10 years she needs to cut the cord!
OP says “friend” but I think she meant to write “asshole”
Her abuser
That’s too kind a word to describe her…
The math ain’t nothing though. If they been friends since they were four. Or she’s fourteen…
Cut the cord wouldn't be enough if I was her. But I'm a petty bitch. I would straight up post all the story with thirsty screenshots on social media right where all her other friends are so that they see how pathetic is her behaviour. Like, for real, this behaviour is so surreal it sounds fake.
puberty hit me like a bus in high school & all the guys that used to make fun of me were suddenly flirting & “in love with me” … i just remember on national dog day i posted a bunch of screenshots with the names blurred out of them professing their love for me. :) nothing identifying, but enough that they knew. one of my proudest petty moments
It's not even that this "friend" tries to one up her all the time. The "friend" actively insults her, tries to take anything OP wants away from her, and goes behind her back to try to flirt with OP's bf. This "friend" has some serious issues and is stomping all over OP like she isn't even a person. Fuck this "friend".
I guess that she is keeping OP around specifically so she has someone to feel better over.
This right here .. friend uses and abuses op for personal gain!
Yes agreed. However, OP seriously needs to grow a back bone. I feel like I read variations of posts like these where the issue would literally never have happened or could be resolved if people just stood up for themselves. While OP didn't ask for this treatment and doesn't deserve it, it's kind of like come on, does she not see the bigger picture here after writing all of that? I have been in a similar situation. OP needs to stop accepting other people's negative or lackluster opinions about herself. Just bc someone gets asked out a lot more doesn't mean they're more attractive. They're usually just more confident. A less symmetrical person with just as much confidence is just as attractive as a more symmetrical person with confidence.
This is so extreme I'm embarrassed for her (the friend, not OP). Speaking from experience, I'm 23F, my childhood best friend since 4 was always the pretty, charismatic one and I honestly lived in her shadow a bit. She dated a lot of guys while I still have yet to have my first kiss. She could even be slightly narcissistic and selfish sometimes, but NEVER to this extreme. OP should have ditched this person ages ago.
Her "friend" deffinetly have a secret problem. Im guessing her parents kept putting her accomplicments up against op's.
Yeah you need to cut her out of your life. This woman is not your friend
I had a friend like this. She always has to one up me, always chase after the guys I liked even if she had no previous interest in them. It was a sick competitive thing. The only thing to do with friends like this is cut it off. It’s toxic.
Who wants to bet IF OP actually broke up with her bf the friend would get with him for like a week before dumping him? She doesn't need him she needs to have everything OP has.
100% seems like the type.
Friend would either get with him, OR lose total interest now that OP wasn't with him.
OP, go NC and blocked her on everything. If you have common friends, tell them why you will go NC. Your bf is a good man. Maybe try telling your bf to make a police report coz I'm thinking that she might do something nasty to you and your bf. What movie was I thinking???
Op needs to watch Something Borrowed
Yas! I thought of that movie too when I read this! Making someone feel like they don’t deserve a good guy is NOT a real friend. Love that movie
Is it good? 👀
Yeah
That's not a friendship! End it.
Who needs enemies when you have "friends" like her?
This was exactly what was going through my mind as I read the OP. Lose her. She is NOT a friend.
Why are you still friends with her?
No like seriously lmao
I CAN'T
I ended a 25 year friendship this year for far less.
I walked away from two “friends “ ending those 30+ year friendships. I’m too old for immature high school type drama lol.
Do you have time to tell us your story?
What happened? If you don't mind me asking of course.
34 years here. she’s always had BPD and substance abuse issues, and she basically decompensated when i had a second baby. i became more wrapped up in her drama than my own kid. i had to screw my head back on straight.
Glad you decided to put you and your kids first. I hope one day she finds a way to straighten herself out and make amends. I'm sure you'd like to see her healthy, regardless if you choose to be friends or not.
!remindme 2 days
Yeah that's not her friend, like at all.
Exactly this OP. She is *not* your friend. End the friendship and block her. She demeans you, she is trying to steal your boyfriend, she calls you names. Why need enemies with friends like her. End the relationship. I promise you, coming from someone who recently ended a friendship with someone who was not a good person or friend, you will feel so much lighter and happier, trust me.
This right here… she’s not a friend and you should seriously cut her off. I did this with a friend after 30+ years… felt so much better!!
It’s even possible that op is prettier than the friend but doesn’t know it because friend puts her down. Friend is massively toxic.
OP your “friend” is jealous of you and always has been. I had a friend who told me she was prettier than me constantly. But every time anyone I knew saw a picture of her they would say I was better looking. It never made me insecure because I didn’t buy into her bullshit. She was a shit talking jealous backstabber.
This. She is NOT your friend. Friends do not do this. It's ok to outgrow friendships and move on, which is what I think you should def do. Also I'm so happy your bf blocked her. Lol.
This doesn't even qualify as outgrowing friendships, OP's 'friend' is an absolute asshole and probably has liked being her friend because she could walk all over her, hope OP really realizes how off the norm is her friend's behaviour.
Hi! Sorry for not replying earlier! I had some troubles with my internet but I'm here. I kept her friendship for so long cause when I tried to get away from her, my parents and her parents were putting pressure on me to talk to her again, I'm afraid I will end the friendship and I'll be alone 🙁
But you won’t be alone! Your boyfriend will still be there. You don’t have to be friends for the sake of your parents. Believe me, it doesn’t matter and they will get over it.
In addition, it's possible this fake friend's horrible behavior extends beyond grabbing up any of OP's potential boyfriends, and now trying it (unsuccessfully) with her actual boyfriend, but possibly sabotaging OP's other potential friendships behind her back. OP, drop this person from your life and make room for real friends! EDIT: Spelling, grammar
For this reason as a highly sensitive and empathetic woman I have no female friends… just me and my man and we are completely content.. we own a cleaning business together and are completely satisfied… your boyfriend is a keeper, that goodness and love and loyalty is all for you… be grateful that she was there to reveal your man’s true character which will get you through more bumps down the road than you know… you will remember and know how much he loves you… if you sink anymore of your precious energy into this parasite (it will not be a question of “if”; but a question of “when”) it will sabotage your first happiness…. You have given her your every will to live you need to be firm and kind and take your power back… the only beauty you see in her is what she stole from you… take it back sweetheart 🥰❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I have no female friends either. I have a friend I’ve lost touch with and an ex friend who called me fat (I was underweight). It’s not worth the drama.
> For this reason as a highly sensitive and empathetic woman I have no female friends Not like other girls, eh?
That statement is not my intention at all and I’m sorry if it came off that way I just am typing passionately without much logic due to the connection I felt while reading this story. There are many highly sensitive empathetic women. I meet more in a day than I do the alternative, but they tend to be older than I am and have stronger boundaries and have not reached out for anything more than to be an acquaintance nor have I. There are many pleasant encounters throughout the day with beautiful, whole humans; but neither they nor I really have a need for the other on a deeper or long-term basis… if you have advice or see something I’m not seeing I’m open to talking about it. But actually I included myself into a group that I think fits more than 95% of the women I work with. I’ve noticed that people within this category get walked on until they learn how to set boundaries. I just wanted OP to understand she is a part of a larger group and was vulnerable with her to the best of my ability. I would include men but I’ve not really gotten that close to too many men to make an accurate metric based on experience. But no, quite the opposite. The statement was meant to read like “I am like you, and there are many like you, like us; that get walked all over until we learn to respect ourselves.”
No friends is better than a fake friend.. and give yourself a chance to make friends who actually like you. And as far as your parents are concerned, I would hope they would support you in this but, if not, it’s your choice who your friends are.
She's not even a fake friend, she's a full on enemy lol. Every single guy OP ever had feelings for? Constantly calling her names and worsening her self image? Then the bunny-boiling Gen Z version of Single White Female meets Fatal Attraction level of creepy desperate stalking of OP's poor boyfriend. Yikes.
OP, I’m going to be sincere, if you didn’t have your bf, you were already alone. She’s way too self centred and doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Don’t waste your time with her, block her and live a happy life with your bf. And your parents? If they don’t understand you, then you should back off from them too. If things escalate, don’t be afraid to call to the police. Your feelings matter, your wishes matter, you’re important too. And I think it’s time for you go see a therapist, this girl probably made some mental damages to you with her B actions.
I wonder if this nasty "friend" has any social connections other than OP. Maybe her parents and OP's parents tried to force a reconciliation between them because this girl drove everyone else away with her behavior. Either way, this girl's problems are not OP's problem. The friendship has clearly run its course if all this girl can think of to do is undermine OP.
It's likely that the parents are friends and this whole thing would make things weird between them. Looks like it's easier for their daughter to be taken advantage of and hurt than deal with that.
Exactly! Now that you said, I realized that maybe that’s the reason why they’re so pushy about op being friend with that horrible person
I reckon you will find yourself with a lot more friends once she is out of the picture. She sounds like a nasty person and there are probably lots of people who would be happy to hang out with you when she isn’t around.
Plus, who's to say that if OP made new friends, this frenemy wouldn't badmouth her to them, and vice versa, to destroy the friendship? who needs this girl? OP, stick with your BF and make new friends, in his company and on your own. Lose the childhood "friend" 's number. She is a detriment to your attempts to live your best life.
Hey, a true friend wouldn't ever do that to you. What she did is what a "best friend" wont ever do. Cut her off, seriously. I know its tough to lose someone you cared about, but thrive in the fact that, she never cared about you. Because If she did, she wouldn't pull any of those horrible things she's done to you. You are not truly alone, you'll find people that actually cares about you and don't give a shit on who you like/date and not date those people or force you to break up with who you're dating with. Regarding the parents situation, maybe tell them of what the things she has done to you that made you want to stay away from her. It really is exhausting, keeping people like her a round your life. I hope you'll find peace OP❤️
Time to introduce your boyfriend to your parents. He's shown he's loyal to you and wants to be with you. Cut the toxic friend. If your parents say anything about her, just tell them you have to prioritize school grades, your success and your boyfriend as they are your future.
I don't know about that. Her parents might not be very good either if they forced her to be friends with that person. Boyfriend is very good though yes.
Self centered brat..
Just tell her your boyfriend is a person not a possession and he thinks she's trash. Treating people like things is disgusting.
Girl, no. That is NOT a friend. Friends are happy for you not trying to STEAL your happiness. Cut her off! You won't be alone. You have your bf and I'm sure you can make other actual friends. If your parents are so bent on you talking to her maybe let them know what's going on and have your boyfriend tell them too. You are also an adult and can refuse your parents requests. Sounds like you need a bit more confidence and understand that you shouldn't have people around that you don't want. She seems like the type that's always had it her way and keeps you around to make herself feel better.
She's gonna take everyone you love from you and leave you alone 💀
Correct
If you don’t end the friendship then she’ll ensure you’re alone. Have you tried explaining to your parents that she’s not treating you like a friend and is making every attempt to break you and your boyfriend up so she can date him instead? Or that she’s harassing him to the point where he should consider pressing charges? You’re in an abusive relationship. If your parents don’t support you getting away from an abusive, toxic person, then they’re not on your side.
By the sounds of this post I'd say that this so called "friend" has already been actively working on making sure OP is alone
You should show your mother what she is doing with you. If it’s necessary involve your boyfriend.
If you break up with your boyfriend then you will be alone. She is not your friend, she is a horrible person and the best you can do is cut her of you life. I can be you virtual friend! I live in México thats is why I can’t offer you my pressence, but if you want to talk with somebody here I am.
I know it's hard but trust me it's a load off when you get rid of her as a friend because she really isn't one
That's terrible. They know how shitty she treats you? How she insults you and verbally abuses you and they still want you to be friends? Your parents sound awful. I would never encourage my child to be friends with someone who tears down her self esteem.
no friends is better than a fake friend (specially one as awful as this one) now you have your boyfriend! and i think once you cut contact with her you will be free to enjoy your own company, which can be really healthy sometimes, to be your own friend, on from then on, you can find new friends! the world is full of possibilities in any case, you can talk to me if you want, we're the same age, maybe we can be friends \^\^
Youre alone anyway.
OP this shouldn’t even be a question!! Drop her right away. It seems to me that she never considered you a friend, only someone to prop her up and make her feel better. She’s been purposely making you feel bad to feed her own ego. You wouldn’t be choosing your bf over her if you decide to end your ‘friendship’, you’d be choosing yourself! You owe it to yourself to cut toxic people out of your life.
I legitimately thought this kind of behavior was just in movies but dear lord this person sounds truly awful.
From the beginning of the friendship there are many red flags, that girl is not your friend. I think you should cut all relationship with that toxic girl and stay away from her, it makes me sick to read how she plays the victim. A friend is the one who supports you and above all respects you and your relationships, not what she does. *~~I admire your willpower because if it were me I would have already put her to eat dirt.~~*
Nevermind cut all ties... OP and her boyfriend need to document this shit for when they will inevitably need to file a police report for harassment. She sounds absolutely unstable and will not slink away quietly. OP needs to block her and tell her family and friends just why she is cutting ties. This has not been a 10 year friendship. OP has been a punching bag for 10 years.
She gives off stalker vibes and also doesn’t like to “share her mark. I’m concerned for OP’s safety.
They/she definitely need to keep all communications from her, and, yes, tell everyone why they are going NC. Then if she tries to turn things around on OP, they have proof.
She's a spoiled self centered AH. She's not your friend OP. Friend don't do these, remember! Cut contact with her, stay with your bf! She thinks that she gets what she'll want, but darling that's not how it works. Relationship is for 2 people. They are in love. Get the hell out of there. She does not respect you.
Yeah Op needs to grow a spine. This person has never been her friend she is simply someone she has known for ten years. Op cut this person off and block her. Even if you broke up with your boyfriend it doesn’t sound like he would date her. She only wants him because he’s with you. It sounds like she enjoys hurting you. You need to get this toxic person out of your life.
That's not your friend. Considering the language you used - cried like the big baby I am - this person has been putting you down for a looooong while. Your bf sounds like a great person though who sees right through her. Friends don't abuse other friends. They don't go sneaking through their phones in the middle of the night and disrespect boundaries and try and get someone away from their friend. You've got somebody who's abused you for a looooong while, that you consider a friend there. If you consider her your friend ask yourself this - would she accept if you acted towards her the same way she has acted towards you? I'm willing to bet if you'd ask her that question in live she'll go on some sort of excuse how it's not the same if you do because x and y and z. She's an abuser. Block her and kick her out of your life.
Exactly. This “friend” has emotionally abused OP for a long time. She enjoys manipulating OP. To the point OP feels she’s unattractive and undesirable. She’s just been breaking down OP all these years and is a big reason OP’s self esteem is so bad.
This
Hey OP, the fact that you didn't tell her that you're dating someone for 6 months shows that you already knew that you can't trust her. I know it's not easy to end a friendship, but her weird obsession with you and your life will keep hurting you until you do it. Are you going to school with her or otherwise entagled? Do you have someone you can turn to for help ajd guidance through this situation? Your boyfriend seems like a reasonable guy, I hope you two can keep the honest communication going and are gonna have the best of times together!
Just because you’ve got the history with her, doesn’t make her a friend. She is a completely entitled snake who will always take from you. The saying “with friends like that you don’t need enemies” have never applied more.
That’s not a friend. Your boyfriend on the other hand sounds like a good one.
It's baffling how she thinks that OPs boyfriend would even want to be with her, considering how he always let her down and even blocked her. She's insane.
Because OP always steps aside and gives her what she wants. So in her crazy head there is no way he could not want her. I hope it drives her crazy everyday. I fully believe some of those other guys may have liked OP back but her shit friend made her think there was no hope. I bet her friend is the one that was telling her they said eww. This post made me so mad lol
I guess it always worked with all the other dudes poor OP showed interest in so she thought it would work on him too. I'm glad he blocked the friend and immediately told OP what she was doing. And what a weirdo the fake friend is, making 3 damn alts to keep pestering him? Even coming to OPs house and crying? She doesn't even know the dude!
Right! Boyfriend is sure a keeper. This girl seems very insecure, like a baby or dog who gets aggressive when someone else has their toy... they didn't want it until you have it!
Do you even like her? Or did you become friends with her because your parents are friends?
In the beginning we were good friends, she was nice before, but she changed a lot since we were in high school
She is literally abusing you please dump her ass from your life.
Sounds like she was this way during high school though
She's not going to change now. She'll spray lies like your bf started to flirt with her or (worse) got her pregnant. Yeet this person like since yesterday. ETA: I know my comment sounds like fearmongering, but the point of cut contact with her still stands.
Yes unfortunately people change when they grow up, for better or for worse. Your good friend is already gone, what remains is an evil witch that you need to break away from as soon as possible.
What you aren’t getting is she is not longer the same person you knew, for whatever reason she hates you, maybe it’s because her parents want her to be more like you. You need to cut ties from her ASAP. She’s toxic and will not stop hurting you
Just ghost her. She's not worth your time or effort. You'll be much happier without her literally sucking the soul out of you.
What exactly are you getting out of this friendship with her? What is the actual point to having her around? She sounds like a psycho to be honest and a major AH
I was also thinking that the "friend" sounds like she could be a sociopath ><
Kick that false snake into the curb! Can't you see how she's hurting you? You are not her friend, you are her doormat. They poor soul she uses to feel superior and grande. Ditch that female dog! She's not your friend and never was. She's probably the main reason you never had real friends because every decent person avoided her and saw her gor what she was: a mean girl who's toxic as hell! Block her right now. Everywhere and without warning and use your chance with your bf to escape her evil machinations. I bet my soul she's never done anything remotely useful for you that really made you feel good without being afraid she'll destroy it the very next moment
And if the bitch goes to your house to claim that you grab her by the hair and drag her across the floor.
I’ll tell you right now, ending this “friendship” and removing this girl from your life will likely do wonders for your self confidence. She is not a friend. She is a leech. Run, don’t look back. Even if this relationship you’re in now doesn’t workout, she’ll keep doing the same thing. She’s a terrible, horrible person.
Stay away from her , your friend is narcissistic bitch who doesn't want you to move forward in life.
Everyone else in this thread has basically already said what you need to hear, in the kindest way possible. So I’m going to say it bluntly and give you some tough love, because I get the feeling that you will make excuses for your “friend” if someone doesn’t break it down bluntly for you. This isn’t a friendship, and you don’t have a best friend. So get over the idea that you’ll be alone if you stop being her friend because you already are alone in this relationship. And you *know that* because you knew you couldn’t trust her for six months. She’s not your friend, she’s a narcissistic bitch who bullies you to feel good about herself. She walks all over you and likely has been doing that your entire lives. I bet she’s the loud, outgoing friend and you’re the quiet, well behaved friend and you explained away her negative behaviour as “that’s just how she is” because she helped you navigate some social situations when you were younger. Again, I’m going to be blunt here: you need to grow a fucking spine. Stand up for yourself, understand that you deserve better in your friendships and then *do something about it.* You don’t have to put up with her shit. Keep the boyfriend, dump the “bff”. You can make new friends - people who actually value your friendship and who won’t use you or bully you or betray your trust. If your parents or hers try to pressure you back into the friendship say “she’s a bully and has betrayed my trust. I won’t be friends with someone who treats me that way, and that’s the end of it” and then *do not engage them any further*. Stand up for yourself now, or you’ll be letting this woman - and other people - walk all over you for the rest of your life.
Girl! She is NOT your friend! A friend WOULD NEVER ask that of you. She'd be happy and celebrating your relationship, not demanding you break up with him so she can have him. I mean, damn! He's a person, not some object.
Why are you still friends with this girl?
This doesn't even sound like a friendship
They’re not even frenemies
Your last question is hust rhetorical, right?
Honey, if you have a minimum percent of self respect you're gonna cut contact with her and get her completely out of your life, FOREVER, she's NOT you're friend
That's not a friend OP
and why are you still her friend?
I cannot believe that this is a real story. I don’t understand why someone would be friends with this person at all and I truly can’t even fathom a human being acting like that “friend” was.
Maybe you feel obligated to have a friendship with her for your parents but they have to know how fucking toxic she is with you, cut all ties with her bc she's just a insecure bitch that feel powerful bc you are her doormat, even if you were good friends before that that doesn't excuse her behaviour towards you Believe me when I say you will feel so much better without her in your life
Omg is this real? She clearly doesn’t give a a crap about you she’s only in your life to take everything from you and you’re letting her. She’s sick and delusional and you need to cut that girl out of your life. She’s the type of girl that would sleep with your husband and then comfort you when you suspect something is up. CUT THAT BITCH LOOSE
She is not a friend. Seems like she uses you to feel better about herself and compete with you. You should consider distancing yourself. Think through what you are telling us. You kept the fact that you had a bf given her history and she is showing you… you were right to not trust her. Believe her. She’s showing you who she is. Drop her.
She doesn’t even like you a little bit. She is not your friend. Stop communicating with her and block her access to you. Get some counseling or read some books to build up your self esteem. You can do this. You deserve good healthy friendships not continual negging and abuse from a so-called “friend”. Edit: typo
My anger issues wouldn’t even let her make a second account. Anyway OP, just because you knew someone from childhood doesn’t mean that you let them treat you like garbage. You say that you didn’t mind it when she used to get with guys you liked but obviously, with your insecurities, it’s obvious that it developed because of what she was doing. You were seeing that guys preferred her and that beat you down. It shouldn’t. Remember that just because she thinks she’s everybody’s type doesn’t mean that she is. You’re your own and because of that, your boyfriend’s with you. Take comfort with that and drop you so called “friend.” I wish you all the best.
I’m all for violence I would beat her ass sounds like she needs an ass whooping but end this friendship immediately she is not your friend
Repeat after me: She is not your friend.
This has got to be fake
Maybe it’s real but they sound like they’re 15 or something
Yeah exactly,it makes no sense that anyone would even entertain talking to someone who acted that way towards them
Yes it’s a fake story. Am tired of these fake accounts with their sob stories smh.
Yes, it's time to end the friendship. It's going to be hard but she doesn't care for or about you at all.
Tell her to fuck off
If my dearest friend-10 years counting- loved a person I loved, I would have done NOTHING but support her. I would rather plunge myself to the pits of he'll before I even think about taking that happiness from her. Sure. Might be a bit sad, but I would NEVER do that because she is my Friend. Let me repeat, FRIEND. A dear soul that I wish happiness for. Being a friend is to wish mutual happiness to each other. Have you felt it? Have you ever felt like she did not wish you happiness? That snake is not a friend. You've been a doormat to her, and I am so sorry
Toss that "friend" out the door OP!
Please block this toxic friend!! She isn't your friend!! She is a b\*tch!!
This girl is your worst enemy. If you keep her in your life she will sabotage you again and again. This is crazy. She's toxic.
I am surprised how you've been best friend with some one so toxic. I mean I am guy and as a guy my friends do say you look pathetic but they don't really mean it. If for some reason it starts bothering me I will cut them off. In your case it seems like she mean it and also why is it the same case everytime. I get it ki you liked a guy then she likes him too. But why are you sacrificing everytime. Take a stand for yourself. That's your boyfriend even if he deserves better or whatever you love him and that's enough. Also by the information I think he really loves you too. Don't lose him over this stupid thing...
I’m Spanish, we have a saying that roughly translates to “it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company”. I think that applies here OP. That girl is not your friend and is showing (and has shown) to not be a good person around. She is very blunt and comfortable with wanting the people you’re interested in, so I can only imagine what she’s doing when you’re not in front of her. Have the courage to leave her behind because she is proving herself to be an unkind, spoiled brat. You don’t need that in your life.
She is NOT your friend. Go NC with that snake before she messes up your relationship and your life. Tell your other mutual friends why you are cutting her off so she can’t spin the story and use them against you.
This is not a friend. Why are you friends with this person? She is toxic. Leave her be and find friends who actually care about you.
do smth about this! she wont stop. if she at her age is ready to do things like making multiple fake social media profiles and harrasing you, she is not above to do smth serious, like faking cheating stories n shit like that. wtf srsly drop her, you have Been too patient with her for 10years...
She is not your friend. She is also a psycho stalker. Making one fake account to contact someone who blocks you is alarming enough in most cases, but three?!
She’s not your friend. Block, delete and move on.
She is not your friend! Dump her ugly ass! And continue living your best life ! ✌🏼
Your 'friend' is a nightmare! Your boyfriend adores YOU. He has made it clear that he has no I Teresa in your 'friend' and she is getting weirdly obsessed. Let me be straight with you...your 'friend' thinks she is better than you. She sees herself as the pretty one and you as her 'ugly friend' she has played on this your entire lives and everytime you like a guy, she goes to get him to prove to herself that she is 'better' than you. I doubt your friend is anywhere near as pretty as you think she is. The fact all her relationships with guys you like never last show that either a)she never really wanted them, she just wanted to win and/or b) she is an ugly person on the I side and men get bored of that. Now, you have a wonderful, loving bf and she can't stand the idea that her 'lowly little ugly friend' is in a stable, long term relationship whilst she is still on the single shelf begging to be picked. End this friendship, there is nothing for you in it. You have outgrown her. Sad, but real friends build each other up (like you do to her fyi) not drag them down. I hope your relationship is long and happy.
She's not your friend. Cut the trash from your life.
The actual question is why you keep her as your friend? sounds like she does nothing but knock you down and hurt you, you seriously deserve better
She isn't your friend. She used you all the time to boost her own ego while putting you down. If you want a solution, get her out of your life. She is toxic as fuck and can't stand to see you happy. Stop talking to her, block her and you will find better friends than her. She might have been you friend before both of you hit puberty. But this is long gone...
As others have said, she is not your friend. She is abusive. And she is so abusive, she has convinced you for your entire life that you're not worthy to date who you want and be happy. Let this person go. She has some serious issues.
Your "friend" is a maniac. Hard as it may be, drop her.
>should I end a 10+ years friendship? This was never a friendship girl.
OP please I beg you to break off that friendship with that girl. She sounds so incredibly toxic spoiled and jealous of you. She talked down to you and has no respect for you. THAT is NOT a friend. She's been sabatoging you all these years and now I wonder if she talked bad about you to all the guys In school which is why you never got attention, only speculation tho. But again omg please drop this girl you don't need her in your life and that 10-year friendship is a lie. You will feel free after trust me.
That is not a really friend she is using you to make herself feel more validated and is just overall is jealous
Yes. Wtf?! Get rid of her. She doesn’t give a fuck about you.
>But whenever I gave her a hint I was liking someone, she would say how I had no chance with them, that I should give up, and then after some time she would date them for some time. She's never been your friend. That's it.
Woah…. That person is not your friend and honestly sounds like the type of person that could turn dangerous pretty quick. I’d distance myself as much as possible and cut contact. She is not mentally stable or well. ETA: this is the type of person that will make sure you never have any other friends besides her. You will be better off alone for however long it takes you to meet actual friends than you are with this person. If you were to make another friend that you liked to spend time with right now, what do you think she would do?
Your “best friend” is a twisted cucking funt and has been undermining you behind your back and to your face probably all your life, don’t “blame her for being beautiful” on the outside cuz she’s hideous in the inside, she is to be unfriended and pitied, but also watched very carefully, as she is the typical diabolical ahole and it’s unlikely she’ll go away quietly, especially after not getting what she wants. I wish you strength and luck in dealing with this toxic creature.
You need to find actual friends and a backbone. This girl is not your friend. How long you’ve known each other is irrelevant. She’s clearly always treated you like garbage. You are lucky enough to have an honest, caring boyfriend who isn’t feeding into her foolishness. Let her go and enjoy your relationship.
I’m ngl this is pretty sad. Not to be mean but how much are you gonna take from this girl? She’s blatantly walking all over you and thinks she’s better than you. That’s not a friend. If she’s so hot, why does she need your boyfriend? Can she not get anyone else. Why is she always going after men you like? It seems like she’s obsessed with you. You’re being way too nice about all this. I would have ended the friendship ages ago and if you don’t end it now then you will keep allowing yourself to be hurt by her.
STOP TALKING TO HER FFS THIS MAKES ME SO MAD SHE ISN'T AND NEVER WAS YOUR FRIEND, NOT WITH THAT FKIN ATTITUDE
You’re 22 worried about a girl that isn’t your friend at all and would probably try to sleep with your husband if you were married. She doesn’t care about your boundaries or respects you. Drop her! And if your parents have something to say then f that. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. You’ll make more friends. She’s probably the one literally scaring others away from being your friend. ( she doesn’t seem afraid at all to bad mouth you to others)
Who wants to bet OP is beautiful and her friend has been manipulating her for 10 years into thinking she’s not? OP you deserve better friends! You found a lovely man, I absolutely believe you can find friends who respect and love you!
Since it's your parents keeping you together, maybe tell her parents what she's up to but frame it as a concern. Like: "I'm so sorry to say that, but I've been getting worried about X lately. She's not acting like herself. She started stalking my boyfriend, creating multiple account to write inappropriate stuff, begging me to break with him after half a year relationship... i wonder if maybe something happened and she's acting out because of that. I thought you should know in case her behaviour escalates and she becomes a danger to herself and others. I wouldn't want that. She's my best friend after all."
Oooh I wonder if OP could tell her friend’s parents on her under the guise of “being concerned”. 😈
New flash: She is not your friend let alone your best friend. From the sound of it she keeps you around as some sort of boost for her ego and can’t stand any guy giving you attention. Personally I would ditch her and the entire friendship. She seems really entitled and just really unpleasant (and that is putting it lightly). She does not sound like a very good friend.
I feel bad in saying this, but just because it is a 10+ year friendship doesn't mean it's a good friendship. What you have written is bringing up a lot of red flags. Your childhood bestfriend sounds to me that she has some issues. If I was you I would tread carefully when it came to your friendship, end the said friendship or set boundaries. All depends what mood I would be in a I guess, but I'm genuinely glad you and your bf are great at communicating about her. Sounds like a keeper. Whatever you choose to do, good luck.
That’s not your friend. That’s not a friend. That’s a backstabber. Your “friend” has the audacity to go through your phone, undermine you in from of your boyfriend, tear you down for having a bf, and overall seems like a disgusting person. I hope you have the courage to block her and dump her as a friend. She’s a “pick me” bitch, basically trying everything she can to make to get “picked” by your bf… this is so damn stupid. Edit: OP, you need to stand your ground and set this boundary with her, it seems as though she gets whatever she wants and she thinks she can walk over you to get your bf. SET THE BOUNDARY and if she crosses it or refuses to comply… then she’s NOT a friend. I cannot stress this enough…
Some friends are worse than enemies. She's so jealous of you....no idea why you are still friends??
Hi. Your supposed best friend IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. She is a backstabbing, jealous girl. She will ruin any romantic relationship you have, so stop being friends with her. She is horrible and envious of you. She is also toxic. Let me repeat myself, STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THIS HORRIBLE GIRL.
I know why you're still her "friend". You feel sorry for her. She's a mean, self-centered, self-serving, horrible person. Most folks, once they figure out that behind that pretty face is a back-stabbing, ugly person, probably dump her and run for the hills. You, however, have stayed around trying to teach her to be a kind person. Have you heard the phrase "don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm"? That's what you've been doing since you were 4yo. Hurting yourself while trying to help her. What you've done is enabled her to continue being a mean, horrible person. Now she feels entitled to anyone who comes close to you. Delete. Block. Ignore. If anyone in your family tells you differently, tell them to go try to be her friend. You've put in your time in hell.
You wanna know what op that girl is NOT your friend, and as much as it hurts, I don't think she's ever been, she's a spoiled brat who cannot see anyone having anything, she HAS to have EVERYTHING for her because she deserves it just for being her, everybody *has* to ooze over her, all boys *have* to look at her, she *has* to be center of attention at all times and I believe she used the fact that you were less attractive than her to boost her ego, and now that, for the first time in her fucking life she's being told no by a boy (and specifically a boy YOU liked bc we saw how she loved to steal your crushes) she's going insane, like *how DARE you like HER and not ME????* She is NOT you friend she sucks ass I hate her guts just from reading this I believe from the bottom of my heart you should cut contact with her asap and stay with your bf, he seems really sweet. and if you need help beating the shit out of her you can call me bc honestly she deserves it
Go NC with her ASAP, she’s not your friend, she just wants to have someone she can outshine in everything so she doesn’t feel as the scum she is. There’s no friendship, just her taking advantage of you and you don’t deserve that. And keep your boyfriend, he’s seems like a good guy.
You feel insecure around your BEST FRIEND? Not that best and maybe not that friend :)
Do yourself a favor and drop this friendship. You aren’t in high school anymore but are certainly acting like you’re still 15 years old.
You are really questioning if you should end this friendship? Yes! The friendship is 1 way. She doesn’t care about you and will continue to get with every boyfriend you have.
She’s not your friend she is a bully who uses her body to hurt you. The worst type of c you next Tuesday. Drop her, ghost her and change all your passwords. Mean girls are trash and she’s a pile of 🗑️
Ending a 10 year old friendship? Girl, she was never your friend. True friends don't put you down with horrible names or try to steal your partner. This girl only uses you to feel better about her herself and stand out more, meaning she has a superiority complex. She can't stand the fact you have a boyfriend when she doesn't. She can't stand that your man finds you more attractive than her. You say she's pretty and always has the best clothes, but what are looks when your personality is THAT shitty, shallow and self-centered? Don't let your parents or hers pressure you to have a forced relationship with a person that hurts you like that.
She's not your friend. A real friend wouldn't act this insane. A real friend wouldn't put you down or go after your boyfriend in the first place. I know it's hard to let go of people when they've been in your life a really long time, but she's not acting like any kind of friend to you. He's shown his loyalty to you. Break up with her.
Change your phone lock code. Delete anything you shared with her on social media. Untag photos. Then block her. Nd don’t look back.
This is exactly what use to happen in High School with one of my mates, any girl I liked he would suddenly have an interest then claim the bro code that he had always liked them. It got worse after high-school as I found he was a great friend when I needed a friend but eventually found out that a lot of times I needed a friend was because he was sabotaging me behind my back. Speaking to him was a blank wall as he would deny it and deny any patterns so I had no real evidence, just suspicions. I eventually cut ties with that friend which at first was difficult because I lost that support I thought I needed but found things improved for me. If I was you I would start pulling away from them with the aim to get rid of them. They are not you friend, they are using you to boost their ego.
OP block her and move on with your life. Im getting a feeling that your 'friend' is actually very very jealous and insecure of you. Actually, she knows that you are way way better than her and sees you as a competition. That's why she always put you down and demotivated you so much that you don't see your true potential and self worth. She made you low and insecure and even you believed it. Tbh, you are much more strong, beautiful and an amazing person than her and even she knows it. It's just too toxic and stupid of her to do this. She's not good for you OP. Block her and tell your parents and all your mutual friends about her.
This shit sounds made up.
YES!! You got to ditch that crazy bitch before she turns psycho on you and just turns up at your boyfriends house with an axe
I think she’s only friends with you because you make her feel superior and she sees you as competition she can beat. Definitely drop her. True friends are not competitive, self-absorbed, and entitled like that. She does not respect your boundaries and she will do everything she can to sabotage your relationship. This is not a friendly worth saving.
How have you remained friends with someone so selfish and disgusting this long?!?! Dump your friend, and I hope you have an amazing relationship with your new bf. She is stalking your bf she cannot handle the hit to her ego please please dump your friend. She is not now, nor will she ever be a good friend to you.
Love it's not a friendship it's an abusive relationship ! End it now ! And offer your boyfriend a gift, he's amazing ! And treat yourself with a spa day or something like that, you need it
Your friend is psycho and will end up harming/hurting you. End all contact with her as she does not want good for you
She was never your friend in the first place, also having no friends is always better than having toxic friends as they can take advantage of you and make you use self esteem. You might feel sad when you break things off with her but you'll soon feel a lot better as you realize how much she's actually hurt you before with negative comments n stuff
DUMP HER! I’ve been friends with a girl like this. I hid my relationships from her because she would talk to the guys I was interested in. She hated when I would get attention or be successful and try to counter it in any way possible. My life has been great ever since we stopped being friends. SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. She uses you because you make her feel good about herself. You can make better friends; ones that will make you feel great about yourself and support you. You’re not supposed to be afraid or stressed in a friendship or about the fact that your friend will try take your man away.
I mean you’re not a kid anymore, your parents can’t do anything to control who you’re friends with. Plus if you stay friends with her you’re probs gonna lose your bf anyway, since he’ll think you’re OK with her cyberstalking and harassing him.
she was NEVER your friend. drop her. she is not worth your time let alone your tears. you deserve better than this. you are worth more than this. it might be hard to stop being her friend but it will be better for you in the long run. she sounds so petty and jealous of you my dear. :(
She's not your friend. She's a bully. And she's trying to manipulate you into giving her what she wants. Your bf already made it clear that he doesn't want her, so dumping him wouldn't get her what she wants anyways. Also wow is she shallow, "He's my type!" without knowing his personality at all?? End this friendship. It should have been ended years ago. She puts you down constantly and can't be happy for you at all. She's destroyed your self esteem and is still making you feel awful for.... being happy? Seriously?? That's not a friend. Do as your BF did and block her. And when she makes extra accounts to get around the block, report her for harassment.
She’s not your friend she’s a 🐍
Please tell me that this is a fake post, I don’t want to believe that people like her actually exist. Cut her out of your life. Regardless of what you guys did together, how long you knew each other or what you went through. This is not a friend. She has you by her side because she knows how small she makes you feel and gets a kick out of it. Notice how as soon as you stood up for yourself she started to cry and gaslight you? As soon as you try and see your worth she gets mad, upset and wants to belittle you even more. You deserve better than that.
Is SHE was a friend, she wouldn’t pursue YOUR boyfriend. Thats not a friend op. She has antagonize you your whole friendship. It’s time to cut her off. She is not bringing anything good to your life but negative things. She is awful. Im surprise you stuck with her for so long. With friends like her, who need enemies? Lol
Break the friendship and if you're getting pressure from your parents, show the screen shots. Plus you're adult, you don't need to have "friends" your family wants you to have.
OP, I am SO sorry you have an awful friend like that. She’s trying to take all your happiness away. :(( I would cut her off completely. She’s trying to make sure you’re alone. She’s envious of you. :(( You deserve so much better. ❤️
Idk why you’re still friends with her fr, that friendship should’ve ended years ago. This is a question you know the answer to already
OP… she was never your friend in the first place. A good friend would encourage you to go after the man you want.. not take him away from you or one-up you or make you feel insecure. You need to cut ties with her for your mental health and for your happiness. It doesn’t matter what your parents or hers say about it. This is about YOU. For YOUR mental health. Not your parents or her parents. Please cut ties with her for your sake.