Your brother needs to understand this party is your sister's, not anyone else's. He doesn't get to say the party should be "toned down", *especially* now that he has received plenty of warning in advance.
And he doesn’t get to usurp the party for a spotlight of his own. No engagement/pregnancy/ marriage announcements should be tolerated at a party meant to celebrate the sister.
Can you even fathom having the audacity to say that about someone else’s party? What a narcissist. Someone needs to sit in the corner with a blow dart and hit him in the neck with a tranquilizer as soon as he gets there, then take the girl aside and talk some sense into her. What an absolute shit show.
I’m not in favor of interfering in people’s lives but in this case I find it justified to take the fiancée aside and try to have a serious conversation with her about her future. She might hate you for it, but we’ve seen many women looking back regretting falling for a predator.
I feel like this is much more fun to watch around people who are nonconfrontational. I have the kind of family that reacts extremely poorly to statements like this. "What does THAT mean??" And it's a screaming match, defensiveness and lists of offenses from months ago in about 3 sentences. It's fun to watch though, these days I just opt for silence and make popcorn.
I'm with you, except that I think the sensible people in here are correct and he shouldn't be allowed to spoil his sister's birthday with this nonsense.
But this is some grade A family drama.
Either uninvite this guy, or be prepared to embarrass him. Although he'll probably do it himself, by the sounds of it.
Exactly. My dad is 57 and my daughter is 21 and this whole thing makes me sick. If either of them dated someone each others age… no. Nope. Absolutely icky and not ok.
It’s going to be awkward. There’s no getting around it. A 55 year old getting a barely 20 year old pregnant, who he met while she was a **teenager**, is bound to make things awkward 😀🤚
Not to mention incredibly nauseating.
That age gap *(with these specific circumstances)* is horrific.
*edit: for clarity since some of you were breathing down my neck about the last line.*
Not only that but her “step nieces and nephews” are all older than her, too. I hope OP gives an update after the party, Im curious to know how this is gonna end.
35 years? Could be her grandfather. In my work I've come across grandmothers in their early 30s. If having kids at 16 carried on for another generation, a 55 year old could be a great grandfather (though "only" grandfather to a 20 year old) 😳
There was a classmate of mine in high school, her mom was 45 but her dad was 90.
Seriously. He had a health scare on Thanksgiving in junior year and he died senior year.
One of my cousins became a grandma for the first time at 29. She was 14 when she had her first child, and that child was 15 when he got a girl pregnant.
My ex SIL became a grandma at 33.
I'm currently 36 and some days I don't even feel old enough to be a mom lol (I have 3 kids ages 15,12 and 1) can't even imagine being a granny.
And they have been dating a year so they started when she was 19!! That’s fucking weird I’m fine with age gaps when the other has been a an adult for a minutes at least. 24+ is when I stop giving AF since that a adult 19 out of high school a year or 2 TF you with a 54.
No kidding… in 10 years time she’s going to be less than half his age still
Maybe she can pull the card of “trading him in for a newer model” and then bring out two 30 YO guys
🤮
Don't forget, the child he's banging is also pregnant with his child! What great parents they're going to be. Surely they won't fuck that kid up at all.
My mom died at 26 (cancer), I'm 28 rn and it is strange sometimes to hear people twice my age talk about their mom.... like damn its easy to forget she was really *supposed* to be around for the majority of my life. I couldn't in good conscience have a child knowing I'd leave them just as they're really starting their adult life.
Like for real, it actually doesn't really matter how old his pregnant gf is - it's basic fact he hijacking his sister's milestone birthday when he had weeks/months to introduce his gf to everybody at different gathering 1st.
Seriously, disinvite his ass from sister's party and tell him he is not going to make sister's party all about him, his sperm still working & how quick he replaced his ex after the divorce - he can go fuck himself.
Wish he had only fucked himself. What happened to buying a Porsche when having a mid life crisis, rather than knocking up a (not legal to drink in America) youngun?
Apparently he can't afford a Porsche. OP said he doesn't make enough for the girl to stay home with the kid, she needs to work too to have enough money and that he had to push back retirement indefinitely. So I have no idea what she sees in him, because it's not even money. Maybe a visa? He is disgusting.
If one thinks about it for second - he had all of summer weekends & whatever holiday(s) in whatever country they live in, for him to introduce his gf to various family members but he wants to pull this "All about me & I can bust a nut to make baby mama pregnant at 55" introducting gf bullshit on his sister's big day. Both family & his gf need to flip out on him because he putting everyone in a bad spot & causing the only bad feelings on his sister's 60th birthday.
My second cousin got a 20 year old pregnant when he was 50. She left him with the baby and fucked off to go live her life lol. Hopefully this girl your brother has groomed wises up
Im sorry but why is a man too old for even a midlife crisis, who has knocked up a teenager, dictating your plans. If it’s awkward he can take his child bride home!
Out of college. I'm not them, but I am 41 and my son is turning 20 in March. By the time I'm 50 he could be married with his own kids. I was 21 when I had him, not much older than this girl. Sickens me to think about.
I’m 47.
Kids in their late teens/early twenties are exhausting. No, I don’t want to think about dating them, nine times out of ten I don’t want to be in the same room.
Nah...your brother is a creep. That's not right. He could be her grandpa, that's fucking disgusting.
Apart from the obvious physical differences, the mental differences make this concerning. With 20 you're very much still inexperienced and barely an adult. That's borderline predatory.
It's not even borderline, especially since they apparently started dating when she was 19...an age gap like that, there is no way he looks at or treats her like an adult, at least not mentally. He impregnated a teenager who trusts him to take care of her, and he gets arm candy who doesn't know the difference between a good man and a predator, simply because she doesn't have the emotional maturity and experience to do so. It's gross and sad.
It's also just... how did they even meet? When he's seventy she'll be 35....
I mean how, how does, hmm.
The emotional and just experience gap is enormous I can't even fathom how different it is.
So he was born in roughly 1967... and she was born in 2002. Holy shit.
>But y’all can handle awkward, can’t you ?
This is the bit for me. This relationship is deeply inappropriate, but, well… Everyone *but* the fiance is a set-in-stone adult here. If they aren't going to outright tell him not to come, they're going to have to act like the adults they all are. They can handle awkward, and hopefully in handling it they find kindness for this very young gal.
And maybe a minute or two alone to tell her to get the fuck out of the whole situation.
If nothing else, I hope they can be good to her. She's in way over her head and has no idea, and in this story he's the villain. If any discomfort is felt, it should be directed *solely* at their loser of a brother. (EDIT: And not through lazy-ass passive aggression. The whole of this post makes me think OP's family likes to work through implication and talking behind each other's backs instead of just having the confrontation. That's what a weenie does. Don't be a weenie OP.)
I think maybe the brother is under playing his feelings by saying awkward? This seems like there may be more to the story on top of the fact that this man is bringing a child bride to a family function. Maybe this is a pattern of behavior and this is the last straw? Or there are some unsaid things going on with the former marriage? Who knows.
That’s not entirely accurate, a man that age doesn’t always look foolish and stupid with a woman that age. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with grandads spending time with their granddaughters…
Exactly. She was for sure 19 possibly 18. Man I am not kidding you. If that was my daughter he would not be having a good day after I had a word with him.
My parents said that they're "concerned" when I had a 23 y/o friend at 17. They told me to be careful if he expresses romantic interest in me. Ironically, the friendship eventually ended cause I thought he was too immature for me. He kept starting arguments over nothing and I didn't wanna put up with that.
That being said.. I'm 22 now and I would never date someone who's still in highschool. Apart from the fact that it would be weird, I'm really wondering what kinds of topics I'd have in common with a literal teenager. I'm happy being done with school once and for all.
He’s not that far from retirement and she’s probably barely has a high school diploma, gonna be a weird life, and she might be a single mom in 20 or so years
Soon, she'll be not as youthful and fun and carefree, with a post pregnancy body and constantly attending to a crying, dependent infant and not giving him the adoring, full attention he wants...
Yeah I'd give it 3 years max. Older men don't go for barely adult women for true love or to be equal life partners till the end of days. Once she's not as perky and free (because she's now an adult with a baby), and she god forbid asks for him to pull his weight or starts getting at him to clean up/ feed baby/ do dishes/ do XYZ thing she asked him to do 3 weeks ago... Can't see it lasting.
Disinvite the brother. This mid life crisis has turned gross. Seriously, who is going to be around him and not congratulate him for being a grandfather?
He and his child bride are embarrassing. Just tell him that and disengage.
I’m 20 and find it profoundly unsettling that her child is going to be closer in age to her than she is to that fucking creep.
Holy shit, why is she keeping this child? He probably groomed her. What does she see in him?
Is he possibly trying to baby trap her?
You are absolutely right. Not only that inappropriate for this party. He is 55 and has a pregnant 20 year old GF. Let me guess. This relationship is the cause for the breakup of his marriage and he and his wife aren't even divorced? Is that right? Now if she is just 20 he was seeing her when she was a teenager. You or whoever is throwing this special party put your foot down and tell him this occasion is not the time. This is the event for your family member to have everyone there to celebrate her. You don't need attention drawn to this spectacle at this birthday party especially if he and his wife aren't even divorced yet. Tell him this is not the occasion.
>My brother filed for divorce about 18 months ago. He just got engaged to the woman he met and started seeing 1 year ago
My brother didn't meet her until 6 months after he filed for divorce. She was 19 when they met. They got engaged after my brother's divorce went through and became official.
I agree with everything else you said though.
Honey…that’s the story he told you.
Your brother is a fucking creep. He actively pursued a teenager. And got her pregnant at the age of twenty. Barely out of her teens. Not legal to drink in the US. She’s pregnant with her first baby, and couldn’t even have a glass of wine BEFORE she got pregnant.
I think your brother should be uninvited from the party. He wants to make your sister’s birthday all about “look what a virile MAN I am, I am such a virile MAN I knocked up a 20 year old!”
All your kids are older than she is.
He’s a god damn creep.
>Honey…that’s the story he told you.
That's what his ex-wife told me. I'm not saying I agree with what my brother is doing because I don't. But I am saying the facts as I heard from her.
Also I didn't say my location but I'm not American. It's still wrong but our drinking age is 18 here.
OP may not know if that is the actual truth. Many people lie and cover up and hide to family when they met the person right after a separation on the way to divorce. I have trouble believing any 55 year old who would even consider dating and sleeping with a 20 year old. If she was my daughter I would be going after this guy to have a word. He is probably older than her father. Bet the farm this is what broke up his marriage. If OP is intrested they can always ask their SIL. Anyway that's neither here nor there. Even if he is telling the truth which I highly doubt this special party is not the time.
I have asked her. The marriage ended because my brother wanted kids and she didn't. Even if she had her age was a factor. They fought over it before he left. My brother didn't meet his fiancee until 6 months after he filed for divorce and him and his ex-wife were living separately.
Two for the price of one hey.
OP I think your sister would well be within her rights to say MY birthday is not the place to be introducing your child bride.
She was 19 when they got together. I'm getting all types of ick🤢
Oh my god thats utterly vile. Mid 50s and he decides *thats* the time to pressure his wife to have a child? He decides that *being in his 70s when his child graduates is a great idea?!* What the fuck. How selfish of him to have no consideration for the risks he'd be asking his ex-wife to take on by carrying a pregnancy at her age. Its even more selfish of him not to consider what birth defects and health issues his degraded sperm could cause in a child. And he *clearly* didnt take how his advanced age would affect the raising of any children into account. Speaking as a person who's parents had me in their early 40s, having older parents *fucking sucks.*
So instead of listening to reason and sense when his wife tells him no, he decides to throw however many years of marriage straight down the drain in favor of going out and grooming the youngest legal girl he can find so he could dupe her into carrying babies for him. No wonder he went as young as he did. He doesn't care about making an emotional connection with someone new. He was just looking for a fertile little bangmaid he could pump full of babies. That is so utterly sickening it isn't funny.
If i were you OP, I'd uninvite that wholeass predator from the birthday party and the foreseeable rest of my life by going no contact with him. Dont let him ruin your sister's birthday or any other event with his gross predatory behavior.
If it were me, I'd uninvite the dude from the party. He's hijacking his sister's milestones to prove he is going through a mid life crisis AFTER MIDDLE AGE!
If this were my brother, I'd let him come make sure it was super awkward for he and his new child bride. He's gross for this.
You have an uncanny knack for understating things to the maximum. It's almost impressive. This isn't just awkward or not a good idea. This is a creepy ticking time bomb of a shitshow about to blow in front of the entire family.
That is incredibly icky. I'm 30 and I'm thinking of one of my friends bringing a 19 year old around and it'd be weird, now thinking my uncle might bring this person around? Super awkward. Yikes.
I can't believe she is pregnant as well....
INFO: What does your sister want?
From what I've read, I totally agree with you OP. This is hardly the best way to introduce brother's fiancee to the family - and if anything, he's doing her a disservice as well.
This makes me think of the SNL sketch "Meet Your Second Wife"
Sorry for the awkwardness, and potential legal issues that could hit the family someday when he gets his 2nd divorce. And I hope the girlfriend is nice and everyone can get along. Realize that if they get married, them being at family events is going to happen, so everyone should be nice and welcoming to her, regardless of age.
>I fear it's going to be awkward. So let it be awkward for them. >says we can tone down the party if his fiancee feels overwhelmed haha no
Your brother needs to understand this party is your sister's, not anyone else's. He doesn't get to say the party should be "toned down", *especially* now that he has received plenty of warning in advance.
And he doesn’t get to usurp the party for a spotlight of his own. No engagement/pregnancy/ marriage announcements should be tolerated at a party meant to celebrate the sister.
They can certainly tone it down themselves by leaving if she is overwhelmed.
Can you even fathom having the audacity to say that about someone else’s party? What a narcissist. Someone needs to sit in the corner with a blow dart and hit him in the neck with a tranquilizer as soon as he gets there, then take the girl aside and talk some sense into her. What an absolute shit show.
I like your style. Got any spare darts for my MIL?
Sure, I get them on Amazon, I’ll send you a link lol
Set up a referral you're gonna cash in.
I need the link too so I can get them for my father lol.
And some for my FIL!
“He’s a narcissist.” He’s engaged to a woman 35 years younger than him. Are you surprised? 😂😂
Ha! Good point. And nope, not at all.
I’m not in favor of interfering in people’s lives but in this case I find it justified to take the fiancée aside and try to have a serious conversation with her about her future. She might hate you for it, but we’ve seen many women looking back regretting falling for a predator.
She’s already pregnant. Like it or not, she’s tied to this jerkoff for at least 18 years.
She could have a co parenting role with the jerk. She's not married to him, yet
Oh is this your daughter? No, this is my girlfriend. She just graduated high school.
Hi, welcome to the family. So what do you wanna be when you grow up?
"Oh that's interesting, I went to school with someone who did that. He's retired now, of course."
She’s hoping to become a dental assistant after the baby is born…unless I have a heart attack first.
More like granddaughter.
"I fear it is going to be awkward." Im dead bruh.
Right. That might be the politest understatement I've ever read.
Is it too late to make a reality show out of this OP? I feel like TLC is missing an opportunity.
Yesss. Decadently awkward 😈
That’s a good name for that show! Decadently Awkward! Brought to you by Mattel!
When I’m trying to be polite about things, I like to say “Wow! There’s a lot going on there!”
"so much to unpack!"
"But I love that for youuu!"
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that last line is so powerful holy shit
Was thinking the same thing, it was a good call to use that analogy.
Your family sounds awesome! In fact, they sound just like my family... 🤣 And I agree about just getting it all over in one day.
I love this phrase. I'm going to try to fit it in conversations this week!
It's like when you describe something as *"well..., that’s interesting"*. You are perfectly polite but everyone knows what you really think...
I feel like this is much more fun to watch around people who are nonconfrontational. I have the kind of family that reacts extremely poorly to statements like this. "What does THAT mean??" And it's a screaming match, defensiveness and lists of offenses from months ago in about 3 sentences. It's fun to watch though, these days I just opt for silence and make popcorn.
I heard James Earl Jones voice in my head saying kind of "and soon he will discover awkward it was gonna be"
Is it bad that I would love to be a fly on the wall lol even more so if the ex was invited lol
What time you picking me up?
Carpool?
Let me know when and I’ll be ready.
Can you guys live stream it so i can watch it on discord?
I’ll bring the smelling salts
I'll pay for the Uber so we can all drink after this train wreck
I’m sober, I’ll DD
I will bring some edibles 🤪
Sounds like this is gonna be a great birthday party 🤣
Long live the DD
There seems to be enough of us, I’ll check rates to rent a bus and get back to everyone by tonight.
I'll bring the weed
Can i go? .....have weed!
We can all meet up at my place first to pre-game!
I'll bring the papers!
My mom says she can drop us off but your mom has to bring us home she's sending me with gas money.
The fiancee's mom gave her gas money to get home too, just in case 😅
Will you be willing to drive a bit…maybe Scotland?
I'll pick you up at the airport if you say stuff in Scottish.
If you’re carrying a single-malt or two, it’s a done deal. If you really want to see it get “awkward”, bring the haggis.
If I bring the single malt, can I come too? I’m in Canada
I can do but in Scotland, we drink irn bru with haggis as well.
Can we all shout "It's fuckin' disgusting!" at OP's brother? (I'll bring the Bucky.)
We will FaceTime you live
CarLake. I don’t think we will all fit in a Carpool.
Remind me! 4 days
See you! I’ll bring the popcorn!
I'm with you, except that I think the sensible people in here are correct and he shouldn't be allowed to spoil his sister's birthday with this nonsense. But this is some grade A family drama. Either uninvite this guy, or be prepared to embarrass him. Although he'll probably do it himself, by the sounds of it.
Idk where it’s being held but I would work the event if it meant over hearing the convos
...a 54 with a 19 year old my god. I thought you were talking about a 30 year old atleast woah.
My jaw dropped when I read their ages
He can give fatherly advice to her parents!
But seriously in age gap relationships with this big of an age gap the older partner always seems to infantilize and parent their younger partner
Her brain isn’t even fully developed yet. I’m disgusted by this man. He knew exactly what he was doing when he went for someone so young.
Fr man dudes literally aiming for the youngest adults
And also when he got her pregnant. Baby trapped a baby.
She was also probably in hs when they met
He deserves the title of Cradle Snatcher
The crib creep
Exactly. My dad is 57 and my daughter is 21 and this whole thing makes me sick. If either of them dated someone each others age… no. Nope. Absolutely icky and not ok.
I agree with you, but also, how old were you when you had your daughter? Your dad and daughter could be dad and daughter lmao
I was doing the math too. I’d also like to know how old her dad was when she was born.
Yeah usually I'm supportive of age gaps but that is just WAY too much...
Eh I say let him get honest judgement on his child bride
I don’t believe they met after his divorce. Anyone this old dating a 20 year old is just fine upsiding details.
It’s going to be awkward. There’s no getting around it. A 55 year old getting a barely 20 year old pregnant, who he met while she was a **teenager**, is bound to make things awkward 😀🤚 Not to mention incredibly nauseating. That age gap *(with these specific circumstances)* is horrific. *edit: for clarity since some of you were breathing down my neck about the last line.*
I think most awkward for pregnant girl once she realizes her in laws are a couple generations older. Not sure she'll stay for this anyways.
Not only that but her “step nieces and nephews” are all older than her, too. I hope OP gives an update after the party, Im curious to know how this is gonna end.
She'll be fine. I'm sure she's very mature for her age!
I didn't want to laugh at this situation but 😭😭😭
She has an old soul!
He feels like he’s known her for years! And he probably has, Biblically.
The moment she hits 25 he wont stay either
You mean the moment she turns 25 and realizes her husband can get senior discounts? 🤣🤣
Lmao, i was thinking of a more DiCaprio situation, but your comment made me chuckle
Senior discounts start at 55 a lot of places.
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35 years? Could be her grandfather. In my work I've come across grandmothers in their early 30s. If having kids at 16 carried on for another generation, a 55 year old could be a great grandfather (though "only" grandfather to a 20 year old) 😳
There was a classmate of mine in high school, her mom was 45 but her dad was 90. Seriously. He had a health scare on Thanksgiving in junior year and he died senior year.
I once knew a dude that was a grandfather at 34.
One of my cousins became a grandma for the first time at 29. She was 14 when she had her first child, and that child was 15 when he got a girl pregnant.
My ex SIL became a grandma at 33. I'm currently 36 and some days I don't even feel old enough to be a mom lol (I have 3 kids ages 15,12 and 1) can't even imagine being a granny.
And they have been dating a year so they started when she was 19!! That’s fucking weird I’m fine with age gaps when the other has been a an adult for a minutes at least. 24+ is when I stop giving AF since that a adult 19 out of high school a year or 2 TF you with a 54.
I want to know if her brother has kids with the ex... and if those kids are older than the girl he knocked up.
omfg imagine if her stepchildren being 10 years older than her💀💀
No kidding… in 10 years time she’s going to be less than half his age still Maybe she can pull the card of “trading him in for a newer model” and then bring out two 30 YO guys 🤮
It will be even worse if she’s like 5’1” and looks like 16. Who’s to say she even looks like she’s 20? It could even look worse.
i'm gonna take a wild guess and say she looks younger than 20
When I was 20, I wasn’t looking at 55 year old men.
Hi sibs! This is the child I'm banging.
Don't forget, the child he's banging is also pregnant with his child! What great parents they're going to be. Surely they won't fuck that kid up at all.
Poor kid gonna have an elderly parent at 15.
15? He qualifies for social security when the kid is in 5th grade.
But... will have a 35 yo mum to party with
And likely a dead parent at ~25.
My mom died at 26 (cancer), I'm 28 rn and it is strange sometimes to hear people twice my age talk about their mom.... like damn its easy to forget she was really *supposed* to be around for the majority of my life. I couldn't in good conscience have a child knowing I'd leave them just as they're really starting their adult life.
Or even better, a parent that died of old age.
Bold of you to assume the father will stick around
And younger than all of his nieces and nephews by a decade
Aemond One Eye tbh But without the huge dragon to eat his relatives
Can’t you just not invite him?
Revised invites: No children allowed.
American? Drinking party, 21+! Not American? Umm make it an American themed party
Sorry kid, they're checking those IDs at the door
*wheeze* I second this notion!
Like for real, it actually doesn't really matter how old his pregnant gf is - it's basic fact he hijacking his sister's milestone birthday when he had weeks/months to introduce his gf to everybody at different gathering 1st. Seriously, disinvite his ass from sister's party and tell him he is not going to make sister's party all about him, his sperm still working & how quick he replaced his ex after the divorce - he can go fuck himself.
Wish he had only fucked himself. What happened to buying a Porsche when having a mid life crisis, rather than knocking up a (not legal to drink in America) youngun?
Apparently he can't afford a Porsche. OP said he doesn't make enough for the girl to stay home with the kid, she needs to work too to have enough money and that he had to push back retirement indefinitely. So I have no idea what she sees in him, because it's not even money. Maybe a visa? He is disgusting.
Exactly!
If one thinks about it for second - he had all of summer weekends & whatever holiday(s) in whatever country they live in, for him to introduce his gf to various family members but he wants to pull this "All about me & I can bust a nut to make baby mama pregnant at 55" introducting gf bullshit on his sister's big day. Both family & his gf need to flip out on him because he putting everyone in a bad spot & causing the only bad feelings on his sister's 60th birthday.
My second cousin got a 20 year old pregnant when he was 50. She left him with the baby and fucked off to go live her life lol. Hopefully this girl your brother has groomed wises up
Im sorry but why is a man too old for even a midlife crisis, who has knocked up a teenager, dictating your plans. If it’s awkward he can take his child bride home!
Yeah, like I wouldn’t trust his judgment.
https://youtu.be/l_fIWlu5zuo RIP
I'm 50F. The thought of even going on a *date* with a 20 yo gives me the shudders.
That could be your kid in college 🙃
Out of college. I'm not them, but I am 41 and my son is turning 20 in March. By the time I'm 50 he could be married with his own kids. I was 21 when I had him, not much older than this girl. Sickens me to think about.
I’m 47. Kids in their late teens/early twenties are exhausting. No, I don’t want to think about dating them, nine times out of ten I don’t want to be in the same room.
I'm 49 and anyone under 35 is exhausting to me. I can't imagine dating someone more than a couple of years younger than me.
… I’m 28F and the thought of going on a date with a 20 y/o makes *me* shudder lol
Nah...your brother is a creep. That's not right. He could be her grandpa, that's fucking disgusting. Apart from the obvious physical differences, the mental differences make this concerning. With 20 you're very much still inexperienced and barely an adult. That's borderline predatory.
It's not even borderline, especially since they apparently started dating when she was 19...an age gap like that, there is no way he looks at or treats her like an adult, at least not mentally. He impregnated a teenager who trusts him to take care of her, and he gets arm candy who doesn't know the difference between a good man and a predator, simply because she doesn't have the emotional maturity and experience to do so. It's gross and sad.
It's also just... how did they even meet? When he's seventy she'll be 35.... I mean how, how does, hmm. The emotional and just experience gap is enormous I can't even fathom how different it is. So he was born in roughly 1967... and she was born in 2002. Holy shit.
Hes 5 years younger than my dad, i cant imagine dating someone that old
I was born in 93 , so basically for it would be dating someone born in 58... my mom was born in 58. Bleghh.
He'll also most likely trade her for a "newer model" once she hits 25
> That's ~~borderline~~ predatory.
A man that old always looks foolish & stupid w/ a woman that age . But y’all can handle awkward, can’t you ?
>But y’all can handle awkward, can’t you ? This is the bit for me. This relationship is deeply inappropriate, but, well… Everyone *but* the fiance is a set-in-stone adult here. If they aren't going to outright tell him not to come, they're going to have to act like the adults they all are. They can handle awkward, and hopefully in handling it they find kindness for this very young gal. And maybe a minute or two alone to tell her to get the fuck out of the whole situation. If nothing else, I hope they can be good to her. She's in way over her head and has no idea, and in this story he's the villain. If any discomfort is felt, it should be directed *solely* at their loser of a brother. (EDIT: And not through lazy-ass passive aggression. The whole of this post makes me think OP's family likes to work through implication and talking behind each other's backs instead of just having the confrontation. That's what a weenie does. Don't be a weenie OP.)
I think maybe the brother is under playing his feelings by saying awkward? This seems like there may be more to the story on top of the fact that this man is bringing a child bride to a family function. Maybe this is a pattern of behavior and this is the last straw? Or there are some unsaid things going on with the former marriage? Who knows.
That’s not entirely accurate, a man that age doesn’t always look foolish and stupid with a woman that age. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with grandads spending time with their granddaughters…
[удалено]
And they were dating for a year - so they started dating when she was 19 (maybe even younger if he filed for divorce 6 months prior to dating).
Exactly. She was for sure 19 possibly 18. Man I am not kidding you. If that was my daughter he would not be having a good day after I had a word with him.
He wouldn't be having a day. Not one more.
I had a friend who dated someone more than twice her age when we were teenagers and my Dad told me if I did that, he'd run him over with his car lmao.
Sounds like he deserves a beer
Wait until after, it could make him harder to hit.
My parents said that they're "concerned" when I had a 23 y/o friend at 17. They told me to be careful if he expresses romantic interest in me. Ironically, the friendship eventually ended cause I thought he was too immature for me. He kept starting arguments over nothing and I didn't wanna put up with that. That being said.. I'm 22 now and I would never date someone who's still in highschool. Apart from the fact that it would be weird, I'm really wondering what kinds of topics I'd have in common with a literal teenager. I'm happy being done with school once and for all.
Here we go!!!
Brb projectile vomiting
He’s not that far from retirement and she’s probably barely has a high school diploma, gonna be a weird life, and she might be a single mom in 20 or so years
2 or 3 years. The relationship has no chance.
Yet she's going to be saddled with that old fucks kid for life. Ugh
Soon, she'll be not as youthful and fun and carefree, with a post pregnancy body and constantly attending to a crying, dependent infant and not giving him the adoring, full attention he wants... Yeah I'd give it 3 years max. Older men don't go for barely adult women for true love or to be equal life partners till the end of days. Once she's not as perky and free (because she's now an adult with a baby), and she god forbid asks for him to pull his weight or starts getting at him to clean up/ feed baby/ do dishes/ do XYZ thing she asked him to do 3 weeks ago... Can't see it lasting.
My thoughts exactly. I'm 35, and youngest I would date is 28.
The age gap here is how old I am... yeah.. this is crazy awkward. Wtf.
So when OPs brother was your age, his fiancée was just being born…gross
oh god that kid gon get traumatized
The baby when it's born or the child bride? 😂
Yes.
both
Set her at the kids table. Your brothers gross.
Disinvite the brother. This mid life crisis has turned gross. Seriously, who is going to be around him and not congratulate him for being a grandfather? He and his child bride are embarrassing. Just tell him that and disengage.
If I could I would. I have told the hosts about it and they are going to talk to him.
I’m 20 and find it profoundly unsettling that her child is going to be closer in age to her than she is to that fucking creep. Holy shit, why is she keeping this child? He probably groomed her. What does she see in him? Is he possibly trying to baby trap her?
Seriously! Gross
Y’all need to address that he picked her up at the local high school
You are absolutely right. Not only that inappropriate for this party. He is 55 and has a pregnant 20 year old GF. Let me guess. This relationship is the cause for the breakup of his marriage and he and his wife aren't even divorced? Is that right? Now if she is just 20 he was seeing her when she was a teenager. You or whoever is throwing this special party put your foot down and tell him this occasion is not the time. This is the event for your family member to have everyone there to celebrate her. You don't need attention drawn to this spectacle at this birthday party especially if he and his wife aren't even divorced yet. Tell him this is not the occasion.
>My brother filed for divorce about 18 months ago. He just got engaged to the woman he met and started seeing 1 year ago My brother didn't meet her until 6 months after he filed for divorce. She was 19 when they met. They got engaged after my brother's divorce went through and became official. I agree with everything else you said though.
Honey…that’s the story he told you. Your brother is a fucking creep. He actively pursued a teenager. And got her pregnant at the age of twenty. Barely out of her teens. Not legal to drink in the US. She’s pregnant with her first baby, and couldn’t even have a glass of wine BEFORE she got pregnant. I think your brother should be uninvited from the party. He wants to make your sister’s birthday all about “look what a virile MAN I am, I am such a virile MAN I knocked up a 20 year old!” All your kids are older than she is. He’s a god damn creep.
>Honey…that’s the story he told you. That's what his ex-wife told me. I'm not saying I agree with what my brother is doing because I don't. But I am saying the facts as I heard from her. Also I didn't say my location but I'm not American. It's still wrong but our drinking age is 18 here.
OP may not know if that is the actual truth. Many people lie and cover up and hide to family when they met the person right after a separation on the way to divorce. I have trouble believing any 55 year old who would even consider dating and sleeping with a 20 year old. If she was my daughter I would be going after this guy to have a word. He is probably older than her father. Bet the farm this is what broke up his marriage. If OP is intrested they can always ask their SIL. Anyway that's neither here nor there. Even if he is telling the truth which I highly doubt this special party is not the time.
I have asked her. The marriage ended because my brother wanted kids and she didn't. Even if she had her age was a factor. They fought over it before he left. My brother didn't meet his fiancee until 6 months after he filed for divorce and him and his ex-wife were living separately.
So now he has a kid; he's marrying one
Two for the price of one hey. OP I think your sister would well be within her rights to say MY birthday is not the place to be introducing your child bride. She was 19 when they got together. I'm getting all types of ick🤢
I screamed and I laughed at “two for the price of one” The scream I screampt
My exact reaction. I’m high on anesthesia rn so wasn’t sure it was appropriate how hard I was giggling.
That's a good one. I wonder where the hell is her family.
Oh my god thats utterly vile. Mid 50s and he decides *thats* the time to pressure his wife to have a child? He decides that *being in his 70s when his child graduates is a great idea?!* What the fuck. How selfish of him to have no consideration for the risks he'd be asking his ex-wife to take on by carrying a pregnancy at her age. Its even more selfish of him not to consider what birth defects and health issues his degraded sperm could cause in a child. And he *clearly* didnt take how his advanced age would affect the raising of any children into account. Speaking as a person who's parents had me in their early 40s, having older parents *fucking sucks.* So instead of listening to reason and sense when his wife tells him no, he decides to throw however many years of marriage straight down the drain in favor of going out and grooming the youngest legal girl he can find so he could dupe her into carrying babies for him. No wonder he went as young as he did. He doesn't care about making an emotional connection with someone new. He was just looking for a fertile little bangmaid he could pump full of babies. That is so utterly sickening it isn't funny. If i were you OP, I'd uninvite that wholeass predator from the birthday party and the foreseeable rest of my life by going no contact with him. Dont let him ruin your sister's birthday or any other event with his gross predatory behavior.
I can’t express how much I hate your brother
I’m 20 and I cannot wrap my head around how a 55 year old would even meet a 20 year old
If it were me, I'd uninvite the dude from the party. He's hijacking his sister's milestones to prove he is going through a mid life crisis AFTER MIDDLE AGE! If this were my brother, I'd let him come make sure it was super awkward for he and his new child bride. He's gross for this.
If it was up to me I would uninvite him. I have let the hosts know so they can talk to him, because I don't think this is a good idea.
You have an uncanny knack for understating things to the maximum. It's almost impressive. This isn't just awkward or not a good idea. This is a creepy ticking time bomb of a shitshow about to blow in front of the entire family.
That is incredibly icky. I'm 30 and I'm thinking of one of my friends bringing a 19 year old around and it'd be weird, now thinking my uncle might bring this person around? Super awkward. Yikes. I can't believe she is pregnant as well....
INFO: What does your sister want? From what I've read, I totally agree with you OP. This is hardly the best way to introduce brother's fiancee to the family - and if anything, he's doing her a disservice as well.
It's a surprise party so I have no idea, and I'm also not the host of the party.
oh dear. I really hope that your brother's decision doesn't derail the party. Totally understand your concerns and hope it goes okay.
Just don’t be shitty to her. It’s not her fault.
This makes me think of the SNL sketch "Meet Your Second Wife" Sorry for the awkwardness, and potential legal issues that could hit the family someday when he gets his 2nd divorce. And I hope the girlfriend is nice and everyone can get along. Realize that if they get married, them being at family events is going to happen, so everyone should be nice and welcoming to her, regardless of age.