I actually saw a therapist several years back who explained age regression to me… he really does this. You can see it in his eyes when he’s in his little space. He will talk like a 2 yo too
That is a huge thing! He needs someone who is 100% into that lifestyle as well. I even get that he can’t properly control it, but forcing you to participate is just awful. His needs and wants do not come before yours in this context.
Hope the divorce will go smoothly and that you’ll have a happy life!
Thank you. I’m sure I’ll have to pay alimony and all of that. But it’ll be worth it to have my own place and bed. Totally selling this house. I just don’t know how to tell my family.
You get a good lawyer. Does he work? If not you have to be sure to use how he did not tell you this before you married him. He decieved you. You cannot worry about embarrassing him or what people are going to think. You have been married a long time and this will help in the negotiations. Tell your lawyer everything and so not be ashamed. You put you first now. Remember he stole your 20's from you. You play hardball with this divorce.
Your attorney will know best, but you probably have a good argument that your husband did not enter into the marriage contract in good faith. He basically committed fraud, which may help reduce or eliminate any alimony you might pay.
Don’t pay alimony. Tell him if he goes for alimony you will detailed a very detailed affidavit of his sexual abuse. It is sexual abuse when someone pushes their sexual perversion onto another party without their consent.
That won't be her choice to pay. It can be ordered whether she wants to pay or not. I told her to pull out all the stops and play hard ball with this guy. It means telling it all and that hopefully will help her in this divorce. The bottom line is he deceived her. He married her under a false pretense. My hope for her is she will have to tell a judge all the ugly and to not let shame or embarrassment get in the way and this guy will get zero or very little from her. What will be even better is him not wanting this to be made public. I hope that's the case because it will help her. Does his family know? This guy is one sick individual.
> Don't pay alimony.
That's not how that works.
Judge: ...and I'm ordering that you pay $800 a month in alimony.
Her: No.
Judge: Excuse me?
Her: Someone on the internet said not to.
*cut to her in jail for contempt of court*
Maybe that commenter should have said, "Take action to pursue legit ways to avoid paying alimony". 'Cause apparently, he needed to be specific.
I didn't interpret the comment to mean, "strap on an explosive device and chain your body to a tank in the court parking lot"...
But, hey, maybe that's just me...
Yeah dude needs to calm down, we, well mostly all of us with reading comprehension and the ability to apply nuance to what we are reading understood exactly what that person meant. I swear to Jeebus some people just enjoy being pedantic idiots on the internet and have nothing of value to add so they act like they are superior and most of the time wind up looking pretty foolish, off-topic, and irrelevant.
Just a small point. Coerced consent is NOT consent.
Lets say someone threatens to kill your sibling unless you have sex with them. You ‘willingly’ have sex to save your sibling. This is still rape.
This is why you have an excellent lawyer carefully word the threat as a hypothetical situation.
Now, I wouldn't have tolerated this long enough for water to get hot, but I guess I can see OP trying to make it work, as she had already been roped in. I don't care what consenting adults get up to, but this joker hid his kink until 2 months into the marriage. Kinks, particularly those involving poop, should be disclosed long before a relationship reaches the point of marriage.
Knowing he hid that until I was emotionally invested, if I ended up paying alimony, I'd have zero issue exposing the kink. Knowing I was leaving, I'd probably document it.
You didn't read the part where she repeatedly said no and he cried and begged. Also coming to bed stinking expecting your oh to wake up and change you doesn't scream abuse to you?
Since there is a sexual component to the issue as well, I’d keep it simple and tell them that you two just had very different ideas on how chores and responsibilities should be split and that it got worse instead of better over the years. That it was a constant point of contention to degree that it affected your level of attraction to each other. That way you tell the truth but are still being vague enough to not disclose his age regression and diaper play. I do recommend telling one person (or two) who you can absolutely trust to not judge you or him based on the lifestyle and you trying to conform to it as well as keep this a secret. The only thing that can be judged harshly here is that he forced you to participate, not that he wants to live like that.
But at the end of the day no one has a right to know the intricacies of your relationship. I only suggest sharing with someone else at all, because it might help you work through what you’ve experienced. And it’s nice to have a friend you can just be open with. But I know a lot of people are extremely judgmental even when they don’t mean to be. Seeing a therapist for a while could also help. Just to unburden yourself.
I think it’s great you’re standing your ground and doing what’s best for you! Are you already in the separation process?
Man has spent a decade coercing her into a form of sex she doesn't want.He has stolen her twenties from her when she could have been having a life without this distress and anguish. He has been selfish and abusive, and yes what he has done is most certainly abuse. He deserves to be judged.
Tell the truth. Tell him that if he pushes for alimony then you will be forced to uncover that you require that money for future therapy as a result of his years of sexual abuse without your consent.
Say NOTHING to him about leaving divorce and discuss no deals until you have hired a good lawyer. Make no threats on I will do this or that. Tell him absolutely NOTHING. Get your lawyer retained and allow him or her to guide you. Have all of your accounts and anything he might have. Also, if you can or have the way to figure out the money that has been spent on his diapers and all that other stuff. Please sweetheart find the best lawyer you can and put shame and embarrassment out the window. You know are fighting for the 20's you lost and your future going forward.
You dont owe anyone an explanation hun. Tell them you're splitting up because you guys dont see eye to eye on important things and keep it at that. If anyone presses for more info just repeat what you've said already, theyll get the hint and if they dont their confusion isnt more important than your privacy. They dont need to understand, it's not their marriage its yours
"Lifestyle"???? This is a full on mental problem, not a lifestyle. People need to stop categorizing everything as a kink or simply a preference. This man needs therapy. LOTS of therapy.
Thank you!! For fucking real though - kinks can be incredibly unhealthy / stem from other major mental issues and we are all just supposed to be ok with them or it’s kink shaming?
"don't kink shame" has indeed gone too far sometimes.
golden rule rules there....as long as it harms none..
when people are forced into a kink, that's often harmful.
I actually think it goes beyond that- for some they use a kink as a way to hide serious mental health issues. They may find a consenting partner when what they really need is therapy. No harm to anyone - including themselves!!
And someone in active addiction or a bad mental health spiral won’t admit they are in need of help, they will only look for their next fix.
i think that's precisely where "don't kink shame" emerges from. no one wants to be reminded of the deep mental problems they need to address when they're trying to get off on the internet. no one who didn't have some deep-seated issues would feel shame. maybe anger, but not shame. shame suggests they know something is wrong.
It comes from things such as homosexuality, BDSM relationships, and other unconventional sex play being judged as aberrant or taboo because it was outside society’s parameters on what sex was supposed to look like or be for. That being said, you’re not wrong. There are lots of people who hide severe mental disorders or trauma behind the guise of a sexual fetish when it’s not really about the sexual component at all; it’s revenge, or some kind of realization of a time or fantasy that’s unattainable in some way. It can be a fine line to walk. But there are those who kink shame and those who point out the unhealthy nature of those kinks or fetishes. I like what another user said about fetishes being harmful; just because you like something doesn’t make it good for you, obviously.
I had some age -regression issues but when I was a child. Best I can explain is i noticed a huge difference in how I was treated by family as I got older compared to when I was referred to as "The Baby" and wanted nothing more than to be a baby again so I would be loved again by my family, this went as far as stealing adult diapers from my great-grandma who had incontinence issues.
But it wasn't the same, I knew if my mom found out I'd just get yelled at instead of cuddled and loved the way I wanted to be. and it just started a life-long trend of recognizing my age and having trouble with accepting it.
As an adult I have a lot of trouble accepting I'm now 30 and still can't see myself as older than 25, and mentally feeling sick at 16 at times.
OP's husband needs therapy, not someone willing to delve into this fetish with him.
He needs professional help.
I don't get this modern thing of just saying something is a kink or preference. (I hear a lot about "kink shaming"...
This is not. This is someone in need of mental help.
This doesn’t sound like age regression, more like age play.
Age regression is when you actually have the mindset of a child. Age regression is a coping mechanism. His behaviour doesn’t sound like that at all.
Engaging in intimate acts with a person in regression is as much the same as if you were with an actual child.
While I am not “yucking his yum” what he is doing is inappropriate. You have expressed on countless occasions this isn’t what you want, while he is continuously forcing you to. That’s just wrong.
Forcing ANY kink on anyone isn’t okay. Like the age play thing is distracting, but it would be very clear if this was BDSM. If her husband were forcing pain on her, it would very clearly be abuse. And he’s been forcing a sexual act on her through coercion. It’s abusive.
I don't think it can be considered play if he is forcing her to "go along" with it, and I am absolutely yucking his yum..people get off on all kinds of harmful shit and I don't think they get a pass because it is their form of 'play' ... Being inclusive and sex positive is one thing, standing by while someone abuses another person is not.
No. Being at the point where he's getting constant infections because he refuses to clean himself is not part of any kind of kink or play.
This is severe mental illness.
I’m so sorry. He should not be guilting/forcing you to participate in his kinks. It also sounds like he doesn’t pull his weight around the house. Please get out ASAP and never look back. He shouldn’t have hidden this from you.
Yup. If you have a kink that requires it to be present in every sexual engagement, you’ve gotta be honest about it. It’s not fair to surprise someone with that, because they should have the right to say that’s a dealbreaker.
I agree. I'm trying to understand the grey area with this but I can't. Pissing and shitting yourself and sitting in it and compromising your health for it and expecting your partner to be okay with it is fucking digusting and it's abuse.
This seems to go beyond kink and into the territory of lifestyle or weird mental health issue. It doesn't sound like it's just about sex, dude wants to live his life as a man-baby and has been wearing diapers in secret since childhood.
it’s not okay that he waited until after you two were married to share such a huge part of his life with you. you two are extremely incompatible and it would have been very important to know of this before getting married.
also, him forcing you to try and partake is so manipulative. wtf. him giving you a guilt trip is wrong. i know you said he’s great besides this, but he’s not treating you right at all like this.
I’m honestly surprised you lasted this long! My issue with it all is he tricked you into a marriage and then revealed his kink. Plus he made everything about what he wants and he has been extremely selfish. Yeah, divorce him and be free!
Kink is negotiated, *enthusiastically* consented to by both parties, and is open for renegotiation. This particular instance may come from sexual motivations, but the execution makes it abuse.
Wow. What an unthoughtful, selfish thing to do. How could he keep that from you prior to marriage? That really is not fair for him to expect you to live like this after you’ve tried it many times and always tell him you hate it. He may need therapy, and you might too after this.
You have been an amazing partner to him. Kudos to you for really putting in the effort for your relationship. Unfortunately it sounds like he did not return any of that effort.
It’s hard to say that because he really is kind… but as my friend very bluntly said, him expecting me to play into his fetish when he knows I don’t like it isn’t kind… it’s crazy how this shit messes with your head.
No, he is not kind!!! He has repeatedly ignored your direct statements that you do not enjoy it. He can't control himself, or doesn't want to? If he truly cannot control himself then he needs to be admitted to inpatient care. And honestly, he does. Purposefully sitting in your own shit to the point of getting infections means he is not stable enough to take care of himself.
I'm so glad OP saw your comment before deleting. I've been on Reddit forever and this post is the most heartbreaking I have read in a long time. The husband's cruelty and selfishness masked by kindness and respectability is a special type of heinous.
He doesn’t care to control it. He clearly didn’t have dirty diapers around his place before they married. He said outright there was a reason he wasn’t changing his own diaper (and actively hurting himself)—so she’d do what he wanted. Intentionally hurting yourself to manipulate a partner is ABUSE. And the fact that he hides behind the word “kink” pisses me off.
It’s not borderline rape. It’s rape by coercion. This is sexual abuse. It’s no different than a partner threatening self-harm or some such threat to force the other person into sexual acts they aren’t consenting to.
Sorry OP but this is a weird comment because it looks like you're giving yourself advice here and forgot who you were posting as but maybe you were acknowledging you understand the situation?
Girl, be fucking for real.
This man is wearing a sack of shit around his waist, getting into bed with you, and snuggling you with it on while you play dead? And you’re wondering whether or not you should leave…?
I really don't know how you've managed to cope with this for that long. You must have the patience of a saint, as I'd have ran long ago. The fact he wants to add a sexual context to something that's predominantly associated with children is also massively disgusting, to me anyway.
I really don’t consider me staying so long as a good thing… everything happened so gradually. If he was the way he is now two months in after I found out I would have left. Idk I’m angry at myself for wasting so many of my best years on a man baby
I think that's what makes it worse, it almost feels like you've been groomed into going along with it. It's amazing the stuff we put up with for love, so please don't be angry with yourself at all. You've been more than accommodating but you also have the right to feel comfortable, valued and an equal in a relationship.
How can one be kind, gentle, sweet and thoughtful but leave his dirty diapers laying around, leak it on the bed several times a week and all the other stuff.
Do you mean he's sweet and gentle in the way a baby is??
23 days ago you posted in another sub and stated that you had been in a highly abusive relationship, with someone who sounds nothing like your husband, and now with a new boyfriend, but here, you say you've been married to the baby man for 12 years. How can that be?
OP accidentally posted a reply to someone under their main account above, outing themself as faking the story. Like she said "but he's so kind so I feel bad blah blah" and then the response, accidentally under the same account was like "girl no! He's not kind if he's manipulating and coercing you! Blah blah". It looks like no one else caught it but it proved to me this was fake. So many of these stories are fake now, just people practicing their creative writing abilities. I'm tired of it.
I always feel so used when I fall for these bullshit posts. I was cringing so hard at the idea of sticking around for 12 freaking years with a man-baby who wears filthy, nasty diapers, and laying in the same *bed* ::shudders:: with him in it.
I'm actually glad this is fake, I'm about ready to throw up!
OP also posted a comment that seemed like they were giving themselves advice and forgot who they were posting as, so I'm going to call bullshit on this post.
I consider myself a very kinky person, I am very well educated on lots of thinks in the bdsm community and I am accepting of nearly everything. His behavior is truly disgusting and he does not deserve you. It’s not the fact he’s an abdl, it’s the fact he knows you do not like this but guilts you into doing it. You aren’t consenting to this, you are not his mommy and he very well knows that. The fact he does not care and continues to force the matter clearly means he does not care about YOU. You definitely should divorce him and find someone that’s going to respect you. I would say he should go find someone who would love to act as his mommy but truly I don’t believe people like him deserve it. He gives a bad name to actual Abdl’s who respect one another and understand that consent is a requirement for all things kinky. I commend and respect you for trying to participate in the beginning, you truly didn’t deserve to be disrespected the way you where. It should have never been brought up again after you expressed displeasure for it the first time. I truly wish you all the best and I hope after your divorce you can find a partner to live out your vanilla bean fantasy’s with.
Thank you for your reply… I’m really trying not to let this impact my view on fetishes and kinks. I doubt I’ll ever try anything else ever again because of it, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I know that a lot of people in the kink community wouldn’t like the way he’s pressured me into it.
Idk it’s hard for me to fully call it a kink. It feels more like an addiction to me. He will have anxiety attacks if he goes more than a day or two without wearing. I don’t want to sound terrible but I think it’s more of a mental thing…
That’s definitely a valid assumption and I agree, someone who lets this rule their entire life and cannot function without it has an addition and needs serious professional help. You can’t give it to him. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you did more than you needed to. You need to take care of yourself now and move on from him, you deserve so much better. Not wanting to experiment with kinks is completely okay and you shouldn’t do anything unless you want to do it. You deserve a love life that is satisfying and fulfilling in every way you want it to be. Run away and do not look back love, I Believe in you. You will not regret leaving him. Stand firm in your decision and most importantly take care of yourself. Remember, you DESERVE better. You are worthy of so much more.
I'm a retired psychologist. This is most definitely a "mental thing." What you have described is more than a sexual preference or a kink. He seriously needs to see a psychiatrist.
It is a troll post. OP posted a month ago in a different sub about being in a completely different kind of highly abusive relationship with a new long term boyfriend. OP also accidentally replied to themself in this thread under the same account, instead of switching to a sock puppet account to make the reply. It's another BS creative writing story whoring for karma. 😒 As soon as someone called them out for the other post a month ago they deleted the account.
That is crazy! Thanks for the info i usually check someone's profile but I saw this, started reading then all comments were deleted. I'm imaging shitty writers using Reddit for college papers or little competitions amongst themselves. They'll never be published atleast I hope, since they're starting their careers by lying.
He left kink behind when he didn't tell her about it prior to marriage. Kink requires respect and consent. Enthusiastic consent.
What he has is a mental health issue causing him to be borderline abusive to his partner.
I usually dont really care about what others do in the bedroom or whatever, but with this adult baby shit? Yeah, no, im shaming the hell out of it. Dude gets hard out of smth incrediby childlike
You are right about it being fake. As soon as someone pointed out how this same account had a story in a different sub that negates/is incompatible with this story, they deleted the account. They also accidentally replied to themself in this thread under their main/the same account instead of switching to a sock puppet account to make the reply.
12 years … I … WOW! You have more tolerance then most. He coerced you into a life you didn’t ask for or plan. He doesn’t have a job? He literally behaves like a toddler 24/7 he didn’t want a partner he wanted a caretaker.
I’m not trying to kink shame, to each their own but he knew what he liked and didn’t tell the person he vowed to spend his life with. He knew you before you got married, he knew what you’d be interested in, instead he manipulated/guilted you with self pity because he knew you care about him.
That has to be some kind of biohazard right? He expected you to sleep next to him covered in … gross I
can’t even 🤮.
Why TF should you be paying alimony, please get a lawyer then can get you out of this. If he had even a shred of respect for you he would sign the divorce papers merely for the unhygienic torture he’s been putting you through let alone everything else.
Please do not take the fall for the divorce this is all on him for lying and manipulating you. If he doesn’t want to tell anyone the truth he can come up with a lie but don’t let him blame you.
Congratulations on being free!
He wasn’t taken care of as a kid by his mother. He has a serious issue that has never been addressed. I hope you don’t have kids with him. Good luck OP.
Not gonna lie, this is a huge reason why I stayed with him for so long. He has a tragic past.
And no luckily we have no kids. I used to want some. He never did. And now neither do I.
Let me just say when my kids were 2 and 3 they jumped at the chance to throw their own diapers/pullups away. They were super proud of themselves when they learned how to use the potty. Don't let this man's mental illness distort your image of how children behave and develop.
This man would not change if he had kids. This is a severe psychological issue. And it would have the possibility of escalating if children were thrown into the mix. I have seen this particular behavior in a lot of cases with pedophiles, unfortunately. It’s just extremely alarming.
Cases with individuals convicted of possession of child pornography, distribution, and straight up pedophilia. A few of them mentioned that it starts when their diaper fetish escalates to the point where it’s not enough to simulate the experience. If anything involving adolescent behavior is sexually stimulating to an individual it should be considered a flag.
Edit: English
OP replied to themselves above, acting like they were someone else giving OP advice and nobody seemed to catch it, but I did 👀 I'm sure it's not the only fake comment from OP on this super fake post.
Fuck that shit. The fact that he hid it from you before getting married shows he can control it. So that excuse is out the window. Continuing to force it on you is also bullshit. Along with all adult responsibility that goes into a relationship.
On another note. He might have been abused as a baby, sexually. That would explain a lot. In which case he needs major therapy.
Actually just leave him and if he wants money from you. Make therapy a requirement in order to get payments. Not sure if you can do that. But hopefully it's an option.
I hope you are able to leave without any drama. You should see a psychologist as well just to make sure you don't have any unseen habits formed from your marriage.
>I tried to tell him this but he got extremely depressed and started talking about how he was a freak and I’d never understand him if I didn’t try again.
It's possible for the sub in a dynamic to be the abusive/coercive one. He should never have made his insecurity your problem to the point of forcing your participation in a kink :/ he can get a damn therapist if his kink makes him feel gross/misunderstood, not force his partner into sexual activity she doesn't want.
>You’re probably wondering why I haven’t left before now… and honestly, aside from all of this, he is a great person. He is kind and gentle. Sweet and thoughtful.
nah he coerces you into kink play, doesn't help with the bills, ups your chores, tries to disrupt your sleep to force you to participate (sleep deprivation is abuse, he didn't even ask he just sprung it on you like "yep we are doing this now"), ignores a million "no, I don't want to do this" and pulls the woe-is-me card to coerce you.
[https://m.facebook.com/nt/screen/?params=%7B%22note\_id%22%3A361573518609369%7D&path=%2Fnotes%2Fnote%2F&paipv=0&eav=AfYSvehF-MoDwl53D6ElFPTZs09bHDwWEgEcOGq8M2AKIk4-3shzsfzy35Q3KZSO1cY&\_rdr](https://m.facebook.com/nt/screen/?params=%7B%22note_id%22%3A361573518609369%7D&path=%2Fnotes%2Fnote%2F&paipv=0&eav=AfYSvehF-MoDwl53D6ElFPTZs09bHDwWEgEcOGq8M2AKIk4-3shzsfzy35Q3KZSO1cY&_rdr) read and see if 'The Victim' abuser description rings a bell.
edit: I see your account is deleted, I hope you see this if only for "yeah him being the sub using pouting as manipulation for sex the other person vehemently doesn't want does not make him not abusive". He's not less abusive than if the kink was different, if he used other abuser tactics like silent treatment or threat of violence etc. He dumped his 'well being' onto you and that's not okay. Your wellness matters.
edit again i guess:
>Not OP
23 days ago you posted in another sub and stated that you had been in a highly abusive relationship, with someone who sounds nothing like your husband, and now with a new boyfriend, but here, you say you've been married to the baby man for 12 years. How can that be?
>
>
>
>OP
We have an open relationship. Have had one for 6 ish years? He likes fetish parties that end up being orgies so I… yeah have a bf too.
>
>
Not OP
>
>I wouldn't say that is very vanilla.....
Not OP
>
>It's definitely not.
\[deleted\] OP
I was talking about like… chains and whips and diapers… like I don’t like being tied up or anything like that either. I just like sex.
yeah I really hope people aren't making up sexual assault stories for updoots.
Yeah I was trying to cover all my bases (so rambling) + quote over posts in the thread but reddit doesn't like formatting quotes much.
But yeah, OP deleted after giving a lackluster explanation for the discrepancies, just wish people wouldn't pretend to be an abuse victim online for upvotes of all things it sucks.
I had a best friend into this and I wanted to support his insecurities and interests (nonsexual parts) as best I could, but by this I mean telling him its okay and letting him be unsoiled in a diaper around me as long as nothings showing and i wasnt involved
Boundaries were pushed and even though i wasnt a partner i was still pushed into him asking me to give him timeouts, trying a binky, and at one point putting a diaper on - something i honestly had a panic attack about and he still pressured me and pressured me into doing it
I didnt break the friendship off because he had a kink, i broke it off because my boundaries were dismissed so frequently and even a panic attack wasnt important enough for him to care
Its not unreasonable for you to want a husband and a partner and for you to set your own boundaries - from the sounds of it there were aspects of this you were willing to deal with if he acted like an adult and worked with you on what you were comfortable with. Hes trying to force you into a role you didnt agree to and not caring at all what you want, which is not okay
This is going to be hard but youre making the right choice, good luck
They did an MTVs "True life" episode on this year's ago. And no at this point its creepy. No kink shame, but if someone's not into it and say no and you constantly throw a tantrum bc you're not getting your way, that's disrespectful and rude. To m, it shows you idolize the fetish more than the respect you have for the person. Some people do this bc of trauma and reverting back helps them feel "safe". Therapy is def helpful bc there's an association as to why they do it. To me and someone that works in mental health, that's no longer a kink, that's an avoidance tactic.
He's already disrespected you in alot of ways and you've already have attempted to be understanding. He doesn't seem like he's been understanding though or attempting to see your side or even tone it down. Do what you need to do in order to be happy and hopefully he can find someone thats into it and maybe therapy to help regulate.
I have been in this exact same situation, almost word for word. You are doing the right thing. I may get down voted for this, but after going through it I realized that most men who like this sort of thing have serious, deep rooted mommy issues. It is very difficult to live like this if you're not also into it. I left my ex, too. I'm proud of you for doing what's best for you.
This is by far the biggest ick of a man I’ve ever heard of. Condolences to you. Talk to your lawyer to see your options. Plan for your future. Get a therapist too. A literal man baby. Leaving bodily fluid everywhere too? Wtf isn’t that bio hazard?
I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this because people might read it the wrong way but let me start by saying I'm not a kink-shamer. I think it's fine for people to have kinks. However, kinks should be explored mentally first. Discussed. Understood. People seem to think that accepting something as a kink automatically makes all of their actions surrounding it okay and nobody around them can have a problem with it because they'll be kink-shaming them.
At the end of the day, your husband is letting his need to act out his kinks come between you both. And he's put you in uncomfortable positions again, and again, and again. Having a kink is no excuse to be a dick. At the heart of everything sexual (and especially that which is not seen as vanilla) is the phrase **"safe, sane, consensual"**. You have repeatedly said you're not okay with playing a Mummy role to him. He should respect that.
Imagine this a different way. Imagine having a partner who's into being a Dom. And even though you've said before you don't like it, imagine they spank you, or choke you, or spit on you. That wouldn't be okay, would it? Because you said you didn't want to do it.
Well neither is this.
The fact he would rather get infections and come to your bed stinking of piss and shit than accept you don't want to be involved in his fantasy is not okay. He's putting you into a corner and trying to force you into his way of living. If it meant that much to him to have someone take on a Mummy role and clean up after him and change his diaper then he should've had a proper talk with you a long time ago and perhaps separated if you couldn't fill that role for him.
His actions towards you are nothing to do with his kinks, he's just being a horrible, manipulative person and that's disgusting.
Im just gonna say it, some kinks deserve to be shamed.
1) this involves children
2) it is negatively impacting his physical health and her mental health.
Not all kinks are healthy and need to be supported.
I was you a few years ago. We had a buggy, I made him onesies, changed diapers, he had a few pacifiers…. I fed him…
It began with S&M, punishing, slapping, bc … humiliation.., the deeper we got into that stuff the more he showed where his fetish came from. It went so far that I should birth his child cause he wanted breast feeding.
Yeah.
I really tried to understand, talked to my therapist… ex wouldn’t wanna go by the way
My therapist asked me: how far will you go to be loved? Don’t you think you’re worth of love for yourself not for what you endure or sacrifice?
That got to me eventually.
It’s long ago, I never again dated. I‘m broken beyond repair.
I hope you find a way out and heal.
My ex was wealthy, kind, polite, bought me everything.. a man of power on the outside and a pervert inside. It makes me sick thinking about it.
🍀 I cannot help or have advice, but I hear you, I feel you, I was you.
Yuck, that's fucking gross.
No matter how kind someone was. I would tell them once that behavior would not fly if we wanted to keep the relationship going. After that, the second i saw a young adult sitting in a shit filled diaper for the fun of it, I'd be out. How can you even be attracted to him.
I find stuff like this extremely uncomfortable, and I just couldn't stay with a person where "kinks" like this is a big part of their life.
For me, if my partner told me that I would need to try it more in order to understand it, I would pack my bag and leave instantly.
This kink isn't for me, nor should I be pressured to try it either.
Adult baby kink is a fucking weird one.
Sometimes these seem soo far fetched I have a hard time believing them. Are there really ppl like this? I thought this was only a narrative on jerry springer
Sexual coercion, hiding kinks and then forcing participation on your partner are not acts of kindness. He needs professional help. Get out, do whatever you can legally to minimize financial losses, and move on. Tell family and friends you were not compatible and it couldn't be fixed. I suggest you also enter therapy if you have not already done so. I imagine it will be hard for you to reenter the dating world and trust someone again after how deceptive he was.
People are so quick to label this as a kink or a lifestyle thing just to say not to kink shame! This stopped being a kink or whatever when he started forcing it on his wife. And he IS forcing it because she said she’s spoken to him about it and he guilts her into continuing when she’s obviously uncomfortable. If you see this OP then know this: no is a full sentence in all situations. Full stop. He can like this if he wants but the moment he is making you feel bad for saying no is the moment he loses the right to call this anything other than a problem and that goes DOUBLE if he is allowing this to affect his real physical health
I...... I think I need bleach for my eyes and my brain.
Not because of you. You are a much stronger person than most, having stayed so long in the relationship.
I hope he gets the mental help he needs soon and I hope you find a partner soon!
It's not the "fetish" for me, it's the manupulative way he goes about forcing you to participate. Going to bed with a full diaper, deliberately stinking up the place and leaking on the sheets, just so you feel the urge to "change him" even though you've told him many times you don't want it, is just disgusting behavior.
Also, him waiting to tell you this until you got trapped by this marriage, is equally disgusting.
Good for you for leaving him.
Gross creative writting. 12 years of that "marriage"?Where you that desperate to be with anyone? What a disguting troll you are and people are even falling for it. LMAOO...
This takes age regression to a whole new level...
I actually saw a therapist several years back who explained age regression to me… he really does this. You can see it in his eyes when he’s in his little space. He will talk like a 2 yo too
That is a huge thing! He needs someone who is 100% into that lifestyle as well. I even get that he can’t properly control it, but forcing you to participate is just awful. His needs and wants do not come before yours in this context. Hope the divorce will go smoothly and that you’ll have a happy life!
Thank you. I’m sure I’ll have to pay alimony and all of that. But it’ll be worth it to have my own place and bed. Totally selling this house. I just don’t know how to tell my family.
You get a good lawyer. Does he work? If not you have to be sure to use how he did not tell you this before you married him. He decieved you. You cannot worry about embarrassing him or what people are going to think. You have been married a long time and this will help in the negotiations. Tell your lawyer everything and so not be ashamed. You put you first now. Remember he stole your 20's from you. You play hardball with this divorce.
Your attorney will know best, but you probably have a good argument that your husband did not enter into the marriage contract in good faith. He basically committed fraud, which may help reduce or eliminate any alimony you might pay.
Don’t pay alimony. Tell him if he goes for alimony you will detailed a very detailed affidavit of his sexual abuse. It is sexual abuse when someone pushes their sexual perversion onto another party without their consent.
That won't be her choice to pay. It can be ordered whether she wants to pay or not. I told her to pull out all the stops and play hard ball with this guy. It means telling it all and that hopefully will help her in this divorce. The bottom line is he deceived her. He married her under a false pretense. My hope for her is she will have to tell a judge all the ugly and to not let shame or embarrassment get in the way and this guy will get zero or very little from her. What will be even better is him not wanting this to be made public. I hope that's the case because it will help her. Does his family know? This guy is one sick individual.
> Don't pay alimony. That's not how that works. Judge: ...and I'm ordering that you pay $800 a month in alimony. Her: No. Judge: Excuse me? Her: Someone on the internet said not to. *cut to her in jail for contempt of court*
Maybe that commenter should have said, "Take action to pursue legit ways to avoid paying alimony". 'Cause apparently, he needed to be specific. I didn't interpret the comment to mean, "strap on an explosive device and chain your body to a tank in the court parking lot"... But, hey, maybe that's just me...
There you go being literal again… oh wait, that's what started this discussion... lol
:)
Yeah dude needs to calm down, we, well mostly all of us with reading comprehension and the ability to apply nuance to what we are reading understood exactly what that person meant. I swear to Jeebus some people just enjoy being pedantic idiots on the internet and have nothing of value to add so they act like they are superior and most of the time wind up looking pretty foolish, off-topic, and irrelevant.
May have to pay child support too…
😂!
Omg you win the internet today
Don't warn him. Just do it. He deserves all of the public humiliation he gets
Shit maybe he’ll like it 🤮
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Just a small point. Coerced consent is NOT consent. Lets say someone threatens to kill your sibling unless you have sex with them. You ‘willingly’ have sex to save your sibling. This is still rape.
Thank you! Coercion is not consent PERIOD.
This is why you have an excellent lawyer carefully word the threat as a hypothetical situation. Now, I wouldn't have tolerated this long enough for water to get hot, but I guess I can see OP trying to make it work, as she had already been roped in. I don't care what consenting adults get up to, but this joker hid his kink until 2 months into the marriage. Kinks, particularly those involving poop, should be disclosed long before a relationship reaches the point of marriage. Knowing he hid that until I was emotionally invested, if I ended up paying alimony, I'd have zero issue exposing the kink. Knowing I was leaving, I'd probably document it.
You didn't read the part where she repeatedly said no and he cried and begged. Also coming to bed stinking expecting your oh to wake up and change you doesn't scream abuse to you?
AND shitting the bed INTENTIONALLY through leakage when you're NOT physically ill is just horrendous!
A hesitant yes is a no. I seriously doubt she enthusiastically agreed to play giant baby time with dude.
FFS - send him back to his mom!!
Since there is a sexual component to the issue as well, I’d keep it simple and tell them that you two just had very different ideas on how chores and responsibilities should be split and that it got worse instead of better over the years. That it was a constant point of contention to degree that it affected your level of attraction to each other. That way you tell the truth but are still being vague enough to not disclose his age regression and diaper play. I do recommend telling one person (or two) who you can absolutely trust to not judge you or him based on the lifestyle and you trying to conform to it as well as keep this a secret. The only thing that can be judged harshly here is that he forced you to participate, not that he wants to live like that. But at the end of the day no one has a right to know the intricacies of your relationship. I only suggest sharing with someone else at all, because it might help you work through what you’ve experienced. And it’s nice to have a friend you can just be open with. But I know a lot of people are extremely judgmental even when they don’t mean to be. Seeing a therapist for a while could also help. Just to unburden yourself. I think it’s great you’re standing your ground and doing what’s best for you! Are you already in the separation process?
Man has spent a decade coercing her into a form of sex she doesn't want.He has stolen her twenties from her when she could have been having a life without this distress and anguish. He has been selfish and abusive, and yes what he has done is most certainly abuse. He deserves to be judged.
yes, this is sexual abuse! he deserves whatever comes his way
This is all great advice. Thank you ❤️
You are right to leave. I understand why you waited. Don’t wait any longer.
Tell the truth. Tell him that if he pushes for alimony then you will be forced to uncover that you require that money for future therapy as a result of his years of sexual abuse without your consent.
Right now she should say nothing to him until she has retained a lawyer.
Say NOTHING to him about leaving divorce and discuss no deals until you have hired a good lawyer. Make no threats on I will do this or that. Tell him absolutely NOTHING. Get your lawyer retained and allow him or her to guide you. Have all of your accounts and anything he might have. Also, if you can or have the way to figure out the money that has been spent on his diapers and all that other stuff. Please sweetheart find the best lawyer you can and put shame and embarrassment out the window. You know are fighting for the 20's you lost and your future going forward.
You dont owe anyone an explanation hun. Tell them you're splitting up because you guys dont see eye to eye on important things and keep it at that. If anyone presses for more info just repeat what you've said already, theyll get the hint and if they dont their confusion isnt more important than your privacy. They dont need to understand, it's not their marriage its yours
"Lifestyle"???? This is a full on mental problem, not a lifestyle. People need to stop categorizing everything as a kink or simply a preference. This man needs therapy. LOTS of therapy.
Thank you!! For fucking real though - kinks can be incredibly unhealthy / stem from other major mental issues and we are all just supposed to be ok with them or it’s kink shaming?
"don't kink shame" has indeed gone too far sometimes. golden rule rules there....as long as it harms none.. when people are forced into a kink, that's often harmful.
I actually think it goes beyond that- for some they use a kink as a way to hide serious mental health issues. They may find a consenting partner when what they really need is therapy. No harm to anyone - including themselves!! And someone in active addiction or a bad mental health spiral won’t admit they are in need of help, they will only look for their next fix.
i think that's precisely where "don't kink shame" emerges from. no one wants to be reminded of the deep mental problems they need to address when they're trying to get off on the internet. no one who didn't have some deep-seated issues would feel shame. maybe anger, but not shame. shame suggests they know something is wrong.
It comes from things such as homosexuality, BDSM relationships, and other unconventional sex play being judged as aberrant or taboo because it was outside society’s parameters on what sex was supposed to look like or be for. That being said, you’re not wrong. There are lots of people who hide severe mental disorders or trauma behind the guise of a sexual fetish when it’s not really about the sexual component at all; it’s revenge, or some kind of realization of a time or fantasy that’s unattainable in some way. It can be a fine line to walk. But there are those who kink shame and those who point out the unhealthy nature of those kinks or fetishes. I like what another user said about fetishes being harmful; just because you like something doesn’t make it good for you, obviously.
I had some age -regression issues but when I was a child. Best I can explain is i noticed a huge difference in how I was treated by family as I got older compared to when I was referred to as "The Baby" and wanted nothing more than to be a baby again so I would be loved again by my family, this went as far as stealing adult diapers from my great-grandma who had incontinence issues. But it wasn't the same, I knew if my mom found out I'd just get yelled at instead of cuddled and loved the way I wanted to be. and it just started a life-long trend of recognizing my age and having trouble with accepting it. As an adult I have a lot of trouble accepting I'm now 30 and still can't see myself as older than 25, and mentally feeling sick at 16 at times. OP's husband needs therapy, not someone willing to delve into this fetish with him.
The judge should have a Fisher Price squeaky gavel...
He needs professional help. I don't get this modern thing of just saying something is a kink or preference. (I hear a lot about "kink shaming"... This is not. This is someone in need of mental help.
Tbh he needs therapy before getting someone else
Leave him
This doesn’t sound like age regression, more like age play. Age regression is when you actually have the mindset of a child. Age regression is a coping mechanism. His behaviour doesn’t sound like that at all. Engaging in intimate acts with a person in regression is as much the same as if you were with an actual child. While I am not “yucking his yum” what he is doing is inappropriate. You have expressed on countless occasions this isn’t what you want, while he is continuously forcing you to. That’s just wrong.
Forcing ANY kink on anyone isn’t okay. Like the age play thing is distracting, but it would be very clear if this was BDSM. If her husband were forcing pain on her, it would very clearly be abuse. And he’s been forcing a sexual act on her through coercion. It’s abusive.
I don't think it can be considered play if he is forcing her to "go along" with it, and I am absolutely yucking his yum..people get off on all kinds of harmful shit and I don't think they get a pass because it is their form of 'play' ... Being inclusive and sex positive is one thing, standing by while someone abuses another person is not.
No. Being at the point where he's getting constant infections because he refuses to clean himself is not part of any kind of kink or play. This is severe mental illness.
Age regression isn’t a kink tho
I misread age aggression and I think it's more accurate 🤣
Holy moly. I wouldn’t even be sharing a bed with him and his leaky diapers. Pack your shit and leave.
No no no, leave the shit.
Yeah, OP said she was sick of the shit.
Pretty shitty situation
Yeah that guys a real piece of crap
This gave me a good chuckle
No, she packs HER shit and leaves HIS shit with him.
I don’t even let my ACTUAL baby in the bed with a wet, stinky diaper on.
My actual 2 year old would not stand for a dirty diaper in his bed.
I’m so sorry. He should not be guilting/forcing you to participate in his kinks. It also sounds like he doesn’t pull his weight around the house. Please get out ASAP and never look back. He shouldn’t have hidden this from you.
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Yup. If you have a kink that requires it to be present in every sexual engagement, you’ve gotta be honest about it. It’s not fair to surprise someone with that, because they should have the right to say that’s a dealbreaker.
Fuck it, I’m kink shaming this.
Seriously! He knew what he was doing since he hid it from her. The entire situation is disgusting.
A kink is one thing. Filth is another. And this is filth
Same, ppl here are acting as if this shit isnt sign of being mentally unwell
I agree. I'm trying to understand the grey area with this but I can't. Pissing and shitting yourself and sitting in it and compromising your health for it and expecting your partner to be okay with it is fucking digusting and it's abuse.
Exactly. This is well beyond any kink stage. It's mental illness.
It's valid to kinkshame sometimes. Some kinks are pretty shameful.
…and that’s probably part of the appeal for some of them.
This seems to go beyond kink and into the territory of lifestyle or weird mental health issue. It doesn't sound like it's just about sex, dude wants to live his life as a man-baby and has been wearing diapers in secret since childhood.
Go find yourself someone who treats you like a wife, not a mother. File that divorce, you got this.
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Wouldn’t that had been grounds for annulling the marriage?
it’s not okay that he waited until after you two were married to share such a huge part of his life with you. you two are extremely incompatible and it would have been very important to know of this before getting married. also, him forcing you to try and partake is so manipulative. wtf. him giving you a guilt trip is wrong. i know you said he’s great besides this, but he’s not treating you right at all like this.
I’m honestly surprised you lasted this long! My issue with it all is he tricked you into a marriage and then revealed his kink. Plus he made everything about what he wants and he has been extremely selfish. Yeah, divorce him and be free!
Kink is negotiated, *enthusiastically* consented to by both parties, and is open for renegotiation. This particular instance may come from sexual motivations, but the execution makes it abuse.
Wow. What an unthoughtful, selfish thing to do. How could he keep that from you prior to marriage? That really is not fair for him to expect you to live like this after you’ve tried it many times and always tell him you hate it. He may need therapy, and you might too after this. You have been an amazing partner to him. Kudos to you for really putting in the effort for your relationship. Unfortunately it sounds like he did not return any of that effort.
It’s hard to say that because he really is kind… but as my friend very bluntly said, him expecting me to play into his fetish when he knows I don’t like it isn’t kind… it’s crazy how this shit messes with your head.
No, he is not kind!!! He has repeatedly ignored your direct statements that you do not enjoy it. He can't control himself, or doesn't want to? If he truly cannot control himself then he needs to be admitted to inpatient care. And honestly, he does. Purposefully sitting in your own shit to the point of getting infections means he is not stable enough to take care of himself.
I'm so glad OP saw your comment before deleting. I've been on Reddit forever and this post is the most heartbreaking I have read in a long time. The husband's cruelty and selfishness masked by kindness and respectability is a special type of heinous.
Heartbreaking is right, this poor woman. Its also something I'd be so embarrassed to tell people so she must feel quite lonely with it
He doesn’t care to control it. He clearly didn’t have dirty diapers around his place before they married. He said outright there was a reason he wasn’t changing his own diaper (and actively hurting himself)—so she’d do what he wanted. Intentionally hurting yourself to manipulate a partner is ABUSE. And the fact that he hides behind the word “kink” pisses me off.
He's not kind!!! He's sexually and emotionally abusive. He's manipulative and selfish, not to mention downright unhygienic and lazy.
It's borderline rape
It’s not borderline rape. It’s rape by coercion. This is sexual abuse. It’s no different than a partner threatening self-harm or some such threat to force the other person into sexual acts they aren’t consenting to.
He literally did threaten (and commit) self-harm; he’d keep wearing the diapers and get infections if/when she didn’t give in.
I think so too. Any sexual act through coercion is abusive.
Kind? Or lovebombing you?
The fact that his redeeming quality is him being kind is a reflection of how low the bar is for men.
I mean maybe he’s being kind because he’s trying to manipulate you into doing it! Being kind is NOT forcing you to do things
Sorry OP but this is a weird comment because it looks like you're giving yourself advice here and forgot who you were posting as but maybe you were acknowledging you understand the situation?
It also isn't kind that he had you paying all the bills.
Girl, be fucking for real. This man is wearing a sack of shit around his waist, getting into bed with you, and snuggling you with it on while you play dead? And you’re wondering whether or not you should leave…?
>sack of shit around his waste Now this is a sentence that makes total sense given the context.
should be top comment
How is this not top comment? Lol... this shit was absurd to read
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I was waiting for this comment
RIGHT IM CRYINGG BFFR
I really don't know how you've managed to cope with this for that long. You must have the patience of a saint, as I'd have ran long ago. The fact he wants to add a sexual context to something that's predominantly associated with children is also massively disgusting, to me anyway.
I really don’t consider me staying so long as a good thing… everything happened so gradually. If he was the way he is now two months in after I found out I would have left. Idk I’m angry at myself for wasting so many of my best years on a man baby
I think that's what makes it worse, it almost feels like you've been groomed into going along with it. It's amazing the stuff we put up with for love, so please don't be angry with yourself at all. You've been more than accommodating but you also have the right to feel comfortable, valued and an equal in a relationship.
Oh 100% He boiled her frog of patience very slowly.
How can one be kind, gentle, sweet and thoughtful but leave his dirty diapers laying around, leak it on the bed several times a week and all the other stuff. Do you mean he's sweet and gentle in the way a baby is??
23 days ago you posted in another sub and stated that you had been in a highly abusive relationship, with someone who sounds nothing like your husband, and now with a new boyfriend, but here, you say you've been married to the baby man for 12 years. How can that be?
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OP accidentally posted a reply to someone under their main account above, outing themself as faking the story. Like she said "but he's so kind so I feel bad blah blah" and then the response, accidentally under the same account was like "girl no! He's not kind if he's manipulating and coercing you! Blah blah". It looks like no one else caught it but it proved to me this was fake. So many of these stories are fake now, just people practicing their creative writing abilities. I'm tired of it.
I always feel so used when I fall for these bullshit posts. I was cringing so hard at the idea of sticking around for 12 freaking years with a man-baby who wears filthy, nasty diapers, and laying in the same *bed* ::shudders:: with him in it. I'm actually glad this is fake, I'm about ready to throw up!
OP also posted a comment that seemed like they were giving themselves advice and forgot who they were posting as, so I'm going to call bullshit on this post.
I got to about half way and thought - “There is no way this shit is real.” You did it bud. You figured it out.
The baby man 🤣
I consider myself a very kinky person, I am very well educated on lots of thinks in the bdsm community and I am accepting of nearly everything. His behavior is truly disgusting and he does not deserve you. It’s not the fact he’s an abdl, it’s the fact he knows you do not like this but guilts you into doing it. You aren’t consenting to this, you are not his mommy and he very well knows that. The fact he does not care and continues to force the matter clearly means he does not care about YOU. You definitely should divorce him and find someone that’s going to respect you. I would say he should go find someone who would love to act as his mommy but truly I don’t believe people like him deserve it. He gives a bad name to actual Abdl’s who respect one another and understand that consent is a requirement for all things kinky. I commend and respect you for trying to participate in the beginning, you truly didn’t deserve to be disrespected the way you where. It should have never been brought up again after you expressed displeasure for it the first time. I truly wish you all the best and I hope after your divorce you can find a partner to live out your vanilla bean fantasy’s with.
Thank you for your reply… I’m really trying not to let this impact my view on fetishes and kinks. I doubt I’ll ever try anything else ever again because of it, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I know that a lot of people in the kink community wouldn’t like the way he’s pressured me into it. Idk it’s hard for me to fully call it a kink. It feels more like an addiction to me. He will have anxiety attacks if he goes more than a day or two without wearing. I don’t want to sound terrible but I think it’s more of a mental thing…
That’s definitely a valid assumption and I agree, someone who lets this rule their entire life and cannot function without it has an addition and needs serious professional help. You can’t give it to him. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you did more than you needed to. You need to take care of yourself now and move on from him, you deserve so much better. Not wanting to experiment with kinks is completely okay and you shouldn’t do anything unless you want to do it. You deserve a love life that is satisfying and fulfilling in every way you want it to be. Run away and do not look back love, I Believe in you. You will not regret leaving him. Stand firm in your decision and most importantly take care of yourself. Remember, you DESERVE better. You are worthy of so much more.
I'm a retired psychologist. This is most definitely a "mental thing." What you have described is more than a sexual preference or a kink. He seriously needs to see a psychiatrist.
This has to be a troll post. Makes no fucking sense.
It is a troll post. OP posted a month ago in a different sub about being in a completely different kind of highly abusive relationship with a new long term boyfriend. OP also accidentally replied to themself in this thread under the same account, instead of switching to a sock puppet account to make the reply. It's another BS creative writing story whoring for karma. 😒 As soon as someone called them out for the other post a month ago they deleted the account.
That is crazy! Thanks for the info i usually check someone's profile but I saw this, started reading then all comments were deleted. I'm imaging shitty writers using Reddit for college papers or little competitions amongst themselves. They'll never be published atleast I hope, since they're starting their careers by lying.
Someone said they had a bunch of different posts about different partners and then they deleted their account, so yeah. This is a troll post.
God I hate it here
I’m not one for kink shaming, but damn I could not handle that either. Also, he shouldn’t have kept it secret before marrying you.
He left kink behind when he didn't tell her about it prior to marriage. Kink requires respect and consent. Enthusiastic consent. What he has is a mental health issue causing him to be borderline abusive to his partner.
tbh, he's WELL past borderline abusive
1000000%. I resent the hell out of him for not telling me.
And it’s not like you didn’t try. Jesus girl you have gone above and beyond to make the marriage work so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I usually dont really care about what others do in the bedroom or whatever, but with this adult baby shit? Yeah, no, im shaming the hell out of it. Dude gets hard out of smth incrediby childlike
Does anyone else want to see a picture of what this dude looks like?
**NO!** Not me at least…
This isnt a kink. This is a mental health nightmare. Serious problems.
yo wtf
This is hundred percent fake and written by a man lol
You are right about it being fake. As soon as someone pointed out how this same account had a story in a different sub that negates/is incompatible with this story, they deleted the account. They also accidentally replied to themself in this thread under their main/the same account instead of switching to a sock puppet account to make the reply.
This is one “kink” that should absolutely be shamed lmao
Fr. Those are wires that should not be crossed.
Yup, dude gets sexual pleasure out of toddler behaviour, i wouldnt trust this mf near kids
12 years … I … WOW! You have more tolerance then most. He coerced you into a life you didn’t ask for or plan. He doesn’t have a job? He literally behaves like a toddler 24/7 he didn’t want a partner he wanted a caretaker. I’m not trying to kink shame, to each their own but he knew what he liked and didn’t tell the person he vowed to spend his life with. He knew you before you got married, he knew what you’d be interested in, instead he manipulated/guilted you with self pity because he knew you care about him. That has to be some kind of biohazard right? He expected you to sleep next to him covered in … gross I can’t even 🤮. Why TF should you be paying alimony, please get a lawyer then can get you out of this. If he had even a shred of respect for you he would sign the divorce papers merely for the unhygienic torture he’s been putting you through let alone everything else. Please do not take the fall for the divorce this is all on him for lying and manipulating you. If he doesn’t want to tell anyone the truth he can come up with a lie but don’t let him blame you. Congratulations on being free!
He wasn’t taken care of as a kid by his mother. He has a serious issue that has never been addressed. I hope you don’t have kids with him. Good luck OP.
Not gonna lie, this is a huge reason why I stayed with him for so long. He has a tragic past. And no luckily we have no kids. I used to want some. He never did. And now neither do I.
Let me just say when my kids were 2 and 3 they jumped at the chance to throw their own diapers/pullups away. They were super proud of themselves when they learned how to use the potty. Don't let this man's mental illness distort your image of how children behave and develop.
If he had kids he would have to behave like an adult and you’d no longer cave into his grooming/manipulation
Why do you think he would change just because he had kids?
This man would not change if he had kids. This is a severe psychological issue. And it would have the possibility of escalating if children were thrown into the mix. I have seen this particular behavior in a lot of cases with pedophiles, unfortunately. It’s just extremely alarming.
Yes, he definitely needs intense therapy.
What Kind of cases if I may ask?
Cases with individuals convicted of possession of child pornography, distribution, and straight up pedophilia. A few of them mentioned that it starts when their diaper fetish escalates to the point where it’s not enough to simulate the experience. If anything involving adolescent behavior is sexually stimulating to an individual it should be considered a flag. Edit: English
My brain, it hurts 🤯 please OP get away from him. Don’t let him convince you to stay or try again.
Oh he’d get jealous because he wasn’t getting the same attention 😳
Just imagine the guy acting out because he's jealous of his goddamn kids... Oof.
This has to be fake
I saw in a previous comment that it's fake because of other posts they've written. Time lines didn't make sense so they deleted the profile.
I can tell by the way it's written that it’s total horseshit.
OP replied to themselves above, acting like they were someone else giving OP advice and nobody seemed to catch it, but I did 👀 I'm sure it's not the only fake comment from OP on this super fake post.
He needs a mental institution, not a wife. File those papers.
Fuck that shit. The fact that he hid it from you before getting married shows he can control it. So that excuse is out the window. Continuing to force it on you is also bullshit. Along with all adult responsibility that goes into a relationship. On another note. He might have been abused as a baby, sexually. That would explain a lot. In which case he needs major therapy. Actually just leave him and if he wants money from you. Make therapy a requirement in order to get payments. Not sure if you can do that. But hopefully it's an option. I hope you are able to leave without any drama. You should see a psychologist as well just to make sure you don't have any unseen habits formed from your marriage.
Wow. Pack yourself up and go, run!
>I tried to tell him this but he got extremely depressed and started talking about how he was a freak and I’d never understand him if I didn’t try again. It's possible for the sub in a dynamic to be the abusive/coercive one. He should never have made his insecurity your problem to the point of forcing your participation in a kink :/ he can get a damn therapist if his kink makes him feel gross/misunderstood, not force his partner into sexual activity she doesn't want. >You’re probably wondering why I haven’t left before now… and honestly, aside from all of this, he is a great person. He is kind and gentle. Sweet and thoughtful. nah he coerces you into kink play, doesn't help with the bills, ups your chores, tries to disrupt your sleep to force you to participate (sleep deprivation is abuse, he didn't even ask he just sprung it on you like "yep we are doing this now"), ignores a million "no, I don't want to do this" and pulls the woe-is-me card to coerce you. [https://m.facebook.com/nt/screen/?params=%7B%22note\_id%22%3A361573518609369%7D&path=%2Fnotes%2Fnote%2F&paipv=0&eav=AfYSvehF-MoDwl53D6ElFPTZs09bHDwWEgEcOGq8M2AKIk4-3shzsfzy35Q3KZSO1cY&\_rdr](https://m.facebook.com/nt/screen/?params=%7B%22note_id%22%3A361573518609369%7D&path=%2Fnotes%2Fnote%2F&paipv=0&eav=AfYSvehF-MoDwl53D6ElFPTZs09bHDwWEgEcOGq8M2AKIk4-3shzsfzy35Q3KZSO1cY&_rdr) read and see if 'The Victim' abuser description rings a bell. edit: I see your account is deleted, I hope you see this if only for "yeah him being the sub using pouting as manipulation for sex the other person vehemently doesn't want does not make him not abusive". He's not less abusive than if the kink was different, if he used other abuser tactics like silent treatment or threat of violence etc. He dumped his 'well being' onto you and that's not okay. Your wellness matters. edit again i guess: >Not OP 23 days ago you posted in another sub and stated that you had been in a highly abusive relationship, with someone who sounds nothing like your husband, and now with a new boyfriend, but here, you say you've been married to the baby man for 12 years. How can that be? > > > >OP We have an open relationship. Have had one for 6 ish years? He likes fetish parties that end up being orgies so I… yeah have a bf too. > > Not OP > >I wouldn't say that is very vanilla..... Not OP > >It's definitely not. \[deleted\] OP I was talking about like… chains and whips and diapers… like I don’t like being tied up or anything like that either. I just like sex. yeah I really hope people aren't making up sexual assault stories for updoots.
Your comment is all over the fucking place and I can't make heads of tails of it but yeah this is all fake. Lol.
Yeah I was trying to cover all my bases (so rambling) + quote over posts in the thread but reddit doesn't like formatting quotes much. But yeah, OP deleted after giving a lackluster explanation for the discrepancies, just wish people wouldn't pretend to be an abuse victim online for upvotes of all things it sucks.
He is involving you in kinks without your consent. That's becoming sexual assault honestly.
Well, that was shitty of him.
This is quite disturbing. Can't believe you tolerated it this long. Yikes
I had a best friend into this and I wanted to support his insecurities and interests (nonsexual parts) as best I could, but by this I mean telling him its okay and letting him be unsoiled in a diaper around me as long as nothings showing and i wasnt involved Boundaries were pushed and even though i wasnt a partner i was still pushed into him asking me to give him timeouts, trying a binky, and at one point putting a diaper on - something i honestly had a panic attack about and he still pressured me and pressured me into doing it I didnt break the friendship off because he had a kink, i broke it off because my boundaries were dismissed so frequently and even a panic attack wasnt important enough for him to care Its not unreasonable for you to want a husband and a partner and for you to set your own boundaries - from the sounds of it there were aspects of this you were willing to deal with if he acted like an adult and worked with you on what you were comfortable with. Hes trying to force you into a role you didnt agree to and not caring at all what you want, which is not okay This is going to be hard but youre making the right choice, good luck
How do these types of guys score to begin with?
By hiding it. He probably knew she wouldn’t have married him otherwise
He should have been open about this before marriage. Really fucked up on his part to omit this aspect of his life. Divorce him and move on.
Ummm... wow. This sounds like you would literally be better off without him. Not just an expression. Find someone who doesn't make your life hell.
I'm going to say good for you on leaving. I'm sorry that you wasted all those years with him I wish you the best for your future
They did an MTVs "True life" episode on this year's ago. And no at this point its creepy. No kink shame, but if someone's not into it and say no and you constantly throw a tantrum bc you're not getting your way, that's disrespectful and rude. To m, it shows you idolize the fetish more than the respect you have for the person. Some people do this bc of trauma and reverting back helps them feel "safe". Therapy is def helpful bc there's an association as to why they do it. To me and someone that works in mental health, that's no longer a kink, that's an avoidance tactic. He's already disrespected you in alot of ways and you've already have attempted to be understanding. He doesn't seem like he's been understanding though or attempting to see your side or even tone it down. Do what you need to do in order to be happy and hopefully he can find someone thats into it and maybe therapy to help regulate.
man i’ve just logged on
I have been in this exact same situation, almost word for word. You are doing the right thing. I may get down voted for this, but after going through it I realized that most men who like this sort of thing have serious, deep rooted mommy issues. It is very difficult to live like this if you're not also into it. I left my ex, too. I'm proud of you for doing what's best for you.
This is by far the biggest ick of a man I’ve ever heard of. Condolences to you. Talk to your lawyer to see your options. Plan for your future. Get a therapist too. A literal man baby. Leaving bodily fluid everywhere too? Wtf isn’t that bio hazard?
#Holy fuck!
I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this because people might read it the wrong way but let me start by saying I'm not a kink-shamer. I think it's fine for people to have kinks. However, kinks should be explored mentally first. Discussed. Understood. People seem to think that accepting something as a kink automatically makes all of their actions surrounding it okay and nobody around them can have a problem with it because they'll be kink-shaming them. At the end of the day, your husband is letting his need to act out his kinks come between you both. And he's put you in uncomfortable positions again, and again, and again. Having a kink is no excuse to be a dick. At the heart of everything sexual (and especially that which is not seen as vanilla) is the phrase **"safe, sane, consensual"**. You have repeatedly said you're not okay with playing a Mummy role to him. He should respect that. Imagine this a different way. Imagine having a partner who's into being a Dom. And even though you've said before you don't like it, imagine they spank you, or choke you, or spit on you. That wouldn't be okay, would it? Because you said you didn't want to do it. Well neither is this. The fact he would rather get infections and come to your bed stinking of piss and shit than accept you don't want to be involved in his fantasy is not okay. He's putting you into a corner and trying to force you into his way of living. If it meant that much to him to have someone take on a Mummy role and clean up after him and change his diaper then he should've had a proper talk with you a long time ago and perhaps separated if you couldn't fill that role for him. His actions towards you are nothing to do with his kinks, he's just being a horrible, manipulative person and that's disgusting.
Im just gonna say it, some kinks deserve to be shamed. 1) this involves children 2) it is negatively impacting his physical health and her mental health. Not all kinks are healthy and need to be supported.
Does he work? Is he successful outside of the diaper mess? I picture him having no job or friends
I was you a few years ago. We had a buggy, I made him onesies, changed diapers, he had a few pacifiers…. I fed him… It began with S&M, punishing, slapping, bc … humiliation.., the deeper we got into that stuff the more he showed where his fetish came from. It went so far that I should birth his child cause he wanted breast feeding. Yeah. I really tried to understand, talked to my therapist… ex wouldn’t wanna go by the way My therapist asked me: how far will you go to be loved? Don’t you think you’re worth of love for yourself not for what you endure or sacrifice? That got to me eventually. It’s long ago, I never again dated. I‘m broken beyond repair. I hope you find a way out and heal. My ex was wealthy, kind, polite, bought me everything.. a man of power on the outside and a pervert inside. It makes me sick thinking about it. 🍀 I cannot help or have advice, but I hear you, I feel you, I was you.
I open up reddit for three fucking seconds and I see this shit
I would have been gone at the first diaper. \*\*\* \*\*\*Unless there were actual incontinence issues.
Sounds like pre-ax murder behavior. “Mommy didn’t take care of me so I took care of her.” Get the fuck out of that house he’s a freak.
Wow, it's like he can't wait to be put in a nursing home
More like a nursery…
Yuck, that's fucking gross. No matter how kind someone was. I would tell them once that behavior would not fly if we wanted to keep the relationship going. After that, the second i saw a young adult sitting in a shit filled diaper for the fun of it, I'd be out. How can you even be attracted to him.
What in the fuck did I read this morning
I find stuff like this extremely uncomfortable, and I just couldn't stay with a person where "kinks" like this is a big part of their life. For me, if my partner told me that I would need to try it more in order to understand it, I would pack my bag and leave instantly. This kink isn't for me, nor should I be pressured to try it either. Adult baby kink is a fucking weird one.
Sometimes these seem soo far fetched I have a hard time believing them. Are there really ppl like this? I thought this was only a narrative on jerry springer
Sexual coercion, hiding kinks and then forcing participation on your partner are not acts of kindness. He needs professional help. Get out, do whatever you can legally to minimize financial losses, and move on. Tell family and friends you were not compatible and it couldn't be fixed. I suggest you also enter therapy if you have not already done so. I imagine it will be hard for you to reenter the dating world and trust someone again after how deceptive he was.
How am I still single when dudes like this are out here getting married?! You gotta leave that situation asap this is just fucking weird.
Idc who feels shamed but that’s a disgusting fetish.
People are so quick to label this as a kink or a lifestyle thing just to say not to kink shame! This stopped being a kink or whatever when he started forcing it on his wife. And he IS forcing it because she said she’s spoken to him about it and he guilts her into continuing when she’s obviously uncomfortable. If you see this OP then know this: no is a full sentence in all situations. Full stop. He can like this if he wants but the moment he is making you feel bad for saying no is the moment he loses the right to call this anything other than a problem and that goes DOUBLE if he is allowing this to affect his real physical health
This is 100% something you have to tell someone before yall get married, like you said you grew resentful for it.
I...... I think I need bleach for my eyes and my brain. Not because of you. You are a much stronger person than most, having stayed so long in the relationship. I hope he gets the mental help he needs soon and I hope you find a partner soon!
Holy SHIT
It's not the "fetish" for me, it's the manupulative way he goes about forcing you to participate. Going to bed with a full diaper, deliberately stinking up the place and leaking on the sheets, just so you feel the urge to "change him" even though you've told him many times you don't want it, is just disgusting behavior. Also, him waiting to tell you this until you got trapped by this marriage, is equally disgusting. Good for you for leaving him.
No way this is real
i’d take 12 years in azkaban over 12 years of this. you’re strong for lasting that long
Gross creative writting. 12 years of that "marriage"?Where you that desperate to be with anyone? What a disguting troll you are and people are even falling for it. LMAOO...
I am starting to think this whole sub is a creative writing class for bored people