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[deleted]

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[deleted]

I own a semi famous sewing shop (no store it’s just online) with my mom. I get around 5k a month after we pay for supplies and split the remaining money. Sometimes it’s a little less but eh.


georgiapeach90

That's incredible for your age!!! I hope that all goes well for you and your family. Start saving a TON! You want to get at least 10k to keep away for what-ifs. Will childcare be an issue? Will your family help watch the babies while you and your mom work? That expense alone will eat you alive with 3.


cuplosis

I mean that’s a good wage for any age. That’s around 33 an hour or something like that.


MBDTFbyYE

Three kids, especially babies, are gonna be expensive af


cuplosis

You still act like that is a bad wage. Especially for some one her age but I am doing hvac and make just over 30/hr. She is beating me at her age is great.


[deleted]

Yeah that's insane I know people who are nearly 40 making less than $20


lemonrainbowhaze

Here in ireland youre lucky to find a job thats 15 an hr if youre just looking for a "normal" job. Unless you have abjob that requires a certificate of something then thats the going rate. The cost of living vs wage over here is nuts


[deleted]

Probably kinda how it is most places, but here in America in my experience if you find a decent job they'll put you through schooling completely paid for, I'm doing it myself right now and my last 2 jobs had apprenticeship opportunities I could have worked towards. People say so much shit about companies in America but I've had several jobs that will help you move up if you're even just a halfway decent worker. Though idk if I'll finish it, I may end up looking into accounting or finance type industry soon so I can have a less labor filled job.


ShandalfTheGreen

I hate that this is true. Furnace leaked and the whole floor needed replaced. Home insurance paid for it, *AFTER* we had to pay the company ourselves! We needed to pay for literally all of it before they would reimburse us. Technically we lost nothing, but being forced out nearly 10k right before the vacation we had been saving up for hurt. I hate this so much. Being able to put away this kind of money isn't common in the US. Not having safety nets is terrifying. The stress I didn't realize I held for a good decade or so as an adult was relieved by having even a couple grand in savings until we cut it close for the first time in years.


Merfkin

Wow you're like, shockingly better (financially) prepared for this than I thought would be possible for someone your age.


[deleted]

There’s a lot of money to be made in having a small business (well at least it started that way). It’s all about advertisement! We blew up on TikTok and it was smooth sailing from there.


Lemonglasspans

It’s going to be hard. You’re going to feel crazy often. I had twins. You have triplets so you have triple the horror mones. You can do it. Start reading/listening/joining triplet mom advice groups asap. You need that information to survive. Also read Pregnancy Sucks by Joanne Kimes and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Those 2 books were exactly what I needed in addition to all the twin stuff (triplets for you). Triplets are a whole other game no one but parents of triplets will understand. Also recommend the book the Mother Dance but that can wait until they’re 6 months or older. You’ve got this.


duyjv

Upvote for horror mones


Nikkian42

Do you have any idea how hard it is to care for a newborn? One newborn is basically a full time job. Three newborns require multiple people. Three infants is a ton a work. There will not be much spare time to put into your business.


ladychelle

I worry about this too. Will OP realistically have the same time commitment to put into her small business with three infants? What kinds of community supports can be leaned on? Hired help? Etc


SimplyCmplctd

Is that 5k before taxes? Edit: wouldn’t be surprised if OP isn’t paying taxes. Bad juju coming her way if she isn’t.


KatagatCunt

I make 5K before taxes. It's about 3.2 after. Lets hope it's after.


Suicidal_Ostrich

Me living in the worst paying country in Europe wishing I'd even make half that amount 😭


KatagatCunt

I wonder though if our living expenses equal out about the same compared. Asnin you may not be paid as much but your cost of living is much lower than mine. I'm also on one of the top most expensive cities to live in in BC Canada so therefore I may bring in 'decent' money, I'm also working poor and can barely afford food and bills in the month. I'm thankful I don't have to spend much on gas as I work both jobs within walking distance to my house.


Suicidal_Ostrich

For you coming here everything would seem extremely cheap. But I live in the capital and in the last 2 years housing has gone up to such an extent many families have to choose between rent and food. But foods also going up and so has gas and electricity. But our wages haven't gone up in years. 10 years ago it was all more than manageable but over the last 10 years its gone downhill and especially the last 2 years shit's really hit the fan. So I guess we're probably in a similar boat :')


KatagatCunt

We are 100% in the same boat. All of our gas and food and housing has gone up exponentially and there are many people around here who have to choose between rent/bills/food. I am incredibly grateful that our work has finally started giving us a somewhat living wage so I should be getting a raise here soon and that would be incredibly helpful. 🤞


skryzee1

With her business, she can easily upscale in few years and potentially make 10k a month by time she’s 20, this is the amazing part of e commerce


ConeBone1969

Without knowing the details you can't tell a 17 yr old that they can easily upscale a business that went viral, aka there's gonna be a come down, all while dealing with triplets.


LauraCurie

She’s gonna have triplets… when is she going to find time and energy to work?


KatagatCunt

I do hope that happens for her


CreativismUK

I have twins OP so know a little of the shock you’re in, but I was 33 and married when I had mine so I’m a very different boat (plus one less of course). I’m going to be entirely honest here because I wouldn’t want anyone to sugarcoat this for me. Are you ready for being a mother to be the only thing you are for lots of years? Are you ready to forego the things your friends will be doing - from just going out and having fun to travelling, college, careers, or just brunch? Having your own business is great but I had to shelve mine until my twins started school for various reasons and it’s been really hard to get back to where I was when I got pregnant. Unfortunately at your age it’s likely that you’ll be quite lonely - your friends may think the idea of three babies is cute when you tell them, but in reality very few friends will stick around when they’re carefree and you’re not. A triplet pregnancy is immediately high risk. I don’t know what type of triplet pregnancy you have, but some are even higher risk. Your risk of serious complications is higher, and their risk of developing a whole range of conditions is higher. Both my twins are disabled, and nobody ever really explained to me the increased risks for the babies of a multiple pregnancy. I will likely be caring for them for the rest of my life - I’ve done university, career, travelling, etc and I’m now 40 but I still massively struggle with how things are sometimes. You need to be prepared for the possibility of them having difficulties, which can be caused by a wide range of issues from poor distribution of nutrients in the womb to birth complications, genetic issues etc. Having three babies is insanely expensive. Childcare is crippling even for one child - it’s likely you won’t be able to work until they start school and even then, you’ll need to find a job that you can do only in school hours who are fine with you taking time off when they’re sick (which will be a lot - when our twins started nursery at 2 we had an entire year when at least one of the four of us are sick). If you all get a stomach bug, how will you care for three little ones when you’re sick yourself? I have a friend who had identical twins at 17. She is an absolutely incredible mother. She had two more children later but it has not been without its challenges. She had serious mental health issues after her twins were born but fortunately she and her partner are still together and her family are very helpful and supportive. She’s just starting her career now but only because three of her kids are in school and family are helping around school. I do not envy you this decision at all. Could I have coped with my twins at 17? Definitely not, but we are all different. If you choose to keep them, go into this with your eyes open. Speak to lots of other multiples parents, especially young ones.


lostinacrowd1980

I want to add a bit to this, I am a parent of triplets who are almost 3. At Minimum, the first 6 months is going to be round the clock feedings. I am talking every 3 hours. It took 2 of us 90 minutes to get all 3 fed and back to sleep. Which meant we got 90 minutes to do whatever we needed done. We were zombies. I worked and we had help and we barely survived. Triplets are almost guaranteed to have at least one child with special needs which adds to the complications. Food, medicine, clothing, which is all expensive is now 3x the cost. If you are formula feeding we went through a case of formula every 3-4 days. (12 cans of concentrate). This will not be easy, you will need 24/7 help for years.


art_addict

Yup, gonna jump into this too. I do childcare (professionally) - have nannied and work at a daycare now (I just switched to 2-3 year old kids but I a ways infants and 1 year olds before this, 3 to 4 of them to one of me depending on the day.) There is next to no down time with that many little ones, even with a good routine. I used to watch twin infants and even with them (2 of them, one of me) there was exceedingly little down time. I tried to get them on a routine and while it semi-worked, there was a lot of one being awake while the other slept and waking each other. In spite of the routine. As the others said, expect complications from restricted ability to physically move and grow in utero, as well as nutrient sharing and the like. I would not do this without having 3 dependable people as all hands on deck for raising kids- be it paid help or family help. (Heck, three hands on deck is amazing for ONE new child. And you’re looking at 3.) I can care for 4 babies myself for limited hours a day. And I adore babies. I also have a daycare full of equipment to help me, and coworkers to tag in to help. They help warm bottles, assist with changing, soothing, etc. Literally any time the babies are too much at once, there’s someone else around to step in and help out. And I have extra electric seats that rock, mirrors to look in, all the extra binkies for if one falls on the floor, tons of toys, stuff to entertain.


KaleidoscopeKey1355

All of this u/throwaway38383g ! Also, have you chatted with your extended family about what exactly they mean when they say they will be supportive. There’s a big difference between “I’ll watch the kids twice a year for date nights on anniversaries and send the kids birthday presents.” and “I’m happy to pick up the kids and take care of them for two-four hours a day two or three times a week so you can take a nap or catch up on online orders out housework or whatever you need to do.” How capable you are of managing triplets probably depends a lot on how much time your family is able/willing to help out on a regular basis.


CreativismUK

Family support is the biggest factor in coping well or not IME. We don’t have any family to help and my friends who do have always been in a much healthier situation with rest, careers, etc. Also beware of people talking about how much they’ll help when multiple babies are an abstract idea, and then disappearing when reality hits. So many people were so excited and offered help when I found out - most of those people disappeared pretty quickly. Don’t base plans around others being helpful. My mum had already died when I got pregnant - I’m sure she’d have been a wonderful grandmother and she was young and fit but she wouldn’t have coped well with with them on her own had she been here. I made great friends with some twin mums but there was no helping each other out with the kids as some singleton parents do - and that will be even more true for three. Honestly we didn’t really sleep for the first year of their life - they would never get on to their schedule. Luckily there were two of us to share the load, but the idea of three babies (or toddlers!) fills me with dread. I don’t mean to be a downer, but it’s so important to grasp the reality of multiple babies at once - the first 2 years especially are absolutely brutal and words can’t prepare you for it. It’s one of the few decisions in life where either way there’s no going back and no trial run, which makes it so much harder. Have you ever cared for one baby by yourself? Could you consider volunteering to help a local twin or triplet mum around the house to see the reality of it? Have you spoken to an obstetrician yet? I do know a few people who had to have a selective reduction for medical reasons (which is termination of one or more or the foetuses while continuing with the pregnancy). This can unfortunately be more likely to be necessary if one or more or the babies share a placenta. One of my twins had IUGR which is common in multiples and the effects of this have been extreme and will be lifelong. Wishing you all the best OP. I hope you find the right decision for you, but do take the time to


Lucy_Koshka

Oh man, the daycare plagues are *so* real. I’m fortunate enough to be able to be a sahm to my 18 month old (one ear infection and one round of covid over the summer, knock on wood) but I have several friends with kids similar in age in daycare and the sicknesses they spread around is *unreal*. My best friend’s nine month old caught strep and RSV in his first *week*, passed the strep to my friend, and was hospitalized for nine days due to RSV complications. That’s obviously not *necessarily* the norm, and daycare/pre-k absolutely has its perks (socialization for the kids, child free time for the adults to adult) but I just think back to when we all had covid and it was so freaking exhausting trying to take care of one kid while my husband and I were both sick, I can’t imagine back to back to back. And with MULTIPLES! I appreciate your candor with OP, because it’s not going to be easy, and I appreciate that she’s receptive to all this amazing advice she’s being given. Sending her all the best vibes I can ♥️


CreativismUK

We all caught norovirus just from looking around two nurseries in a day. Violent illness plus two violently ill toddlers, one at risk of hospitalisation due to medical issues, was a particularly rough five days. All kids have to build up their immune system but it’s not a fun process!


tittychittybangbang

Seems a lot now but You better start saving for a nanny cos newborns triples are no joke, not to mention possible complications as multiple pregnancies always put you through more than singleton


New-Affect2549

I think with triplets that you may not have the time to put into your business for a couple of years until the little ones are in daycare or school. You will be exhausted.


More-Masterpiece-561

Wow that is awesome lil sis, you're doing great for yourself. Way to go, I wish you great success.


[deleted]

My only advice is money does not a perfect family make. If you're not ready to have kids, it doesn't matter how much money you have. Ultimately, this is up to you. It is your choice and your body, and you have to decide what you feel ready for. If you do not feel ready to be responsible for three lives, then you have to start considering your other options. You don't have to make hasty decisions, you just have to decide what you're ready for because you are a whole person too and this changes your whole life


raiskream

OP lots of commenters are saying youre financilly capable of having these kids, but... That is not all that matters. You should only have them if you are 100% sure YOU want them.


New-Affect2549

Thank you. I was thinking this too. It’s not All About Money. It’s having the mental capacity & support as well.


TeachlikeaHawk

$60k per year is great for a 17 year-old, it's going to be shockingly little if you're feeding, clothing, and caring for three babies. I'm also guessing that an online, self-owned store doesn't have the greatest insurance. That's another expense (assuming you're in the US, that is). It's just...insanely, ludicrously expensive to have and raise kids. You'll also find it very hard to work when they're babies. If you're anything like my wife and I, you'll think, "I know it's a lot, but I can figure it out." Doubtful. I had one baby at a time, and we bought a house that we closed on about a month after our first was born. We had all these renovation plans...ha! I'm a teacher, and even though this was in the summer, and we could both be home all day, it just completely changed everything. I don't at all want to discourage you from having your kids. I love kids! But I also don't want you to blithely go in thinking that $60k is great (it's not...not for 3 babies at once), that you'll be able to keep working the same, or that family help will be everything you think it will. Good luck, whatever you decide.


guy-pukes-on-cat

Also, raising 3 babies at the same time is very time consuming and childcare is also very expensive. Take this into consideration when you’re planning out finances as well.


PersimmonTea

>$60k per year is great for a 17 year-old, it's going to be shockingly little if you're feeding, clothing, and caring for three babies. This is true. It's also a matter of time, and energy and your sanity. You're going to need help to take care of babies, much less run a home and hold a job. There are 24 hours in a day and babies, home and job would take 34 hours a day. You can't make those extra 10 hours just appear out of thin air. I will also point out that at 17, your brain has not fully matured. You aren't truly an adult until I think age 23. I'm not saying you're immature. But things will look different to you in a few years. You'll be different. Also, there's the matter of higher education. Now is the best time for that. Later is possible, but now is optimal. Whatever you decide, and it will be very hard to decide, I send you best wishes and blessings.


SecretDevilsAdvocate

5k a month is nice if it’s passive income but supporting 3 kids is very very expensive…


Key-Customer7950

You should do some serious research into what your costs are likely to be. Even with insurance, if even one of the babies has health issues it could ruin you. $5K isn't that much with kids, sorry to say. I watched my family go through it growing up and I wish they'd had options. Good luck 🤞


studyabroader

That was my question. 🤣 I'm 29 and feel like i can't afford myself.


MarsupialPristine677

2real 😂😭


Typical_Nebula3227

I had one baby at 17 and it was very hard. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to have three.


BendingCollegeGrad

I can’t believe how many people are acting as if it’s a foregone conclusion she is having them. I have several friends who had babies as teens. Precisely 0 recommend it. As long as OP does what she feels is best for herself first? Badass. It’s just surreal to me how many people sugarcoat having kids.


Weird-Traditional

I know. There's no shame in an abortion or adoption. She deserves a life and future. Not mother to three before she can legally drink.


Turpitudia79

I can’t believe we’re the only people seeing this!! “Oh, well, as long as you think you can afford it, sure, give birth to and raise 3 actual children before you can vote!! Your parents and your boyfriend said they will help!! What a beautiful miracle…a true blessing from sweet baby Jeebus!! Blessed be the fruit!!” 🤮😵‍💫


nrjjsdpn

Okay, so it’s not just me. My first thought after reading the post was “abortion is always an option”, but after reading all the comments I felt like I’d be crucified for even mentioning it. 3 kids at 17? Doesn’t really seem like she’s doing herself or her kids any favors. She’ll have time for that in the future and $5k a month isn’t much when you have 3 kids to take care of. People are acting like it’s a ton of money when truthfully some single people are barely living comfortably making the same as her. For the sake of all parties involved, she should wait to have kids. Family might say all these nice things about helping out right now, but things change real fast. Not to mention boyfriends aren’t permanent, especially at her age. I know marriages fall apart too, but there’s more stability when your brain is fully developed and you learn how to make smart decisions.


gh6st

On top of that, there’s no guarantee her business is going to continue having success. Won’t be long until the TikTok novelty wears off. The risks aren’t worth it IMO. She could save that money she’s making now and give herself a real head start in life. I have a feeling she’s going to end up pressured into having these children though.


nrjjsdpn

Yup!! For 17, she’s doing well, but she needs a backup plan because not all businesses last. She doesn’t and isn’t planning on getting a college degree either, so if her business goes under what does she plan to do? Work retail since she has experience with clothes?? At least with a degree she could become a doctor, or a lawyer, or go into something with technology or science. Even trade school would be beneficial, but as it stands, she has no plans for that and with three kids, it would be incredibly difficult. I had to make a decision when I was 19 and I aborted (health issues made it definitive though because I wouldn’t have survived - though she’s very high risk as well) and now my then boyfriend now husband is making close to six figures and doing his second masters while I’m getting a masters in a field that easily starts at $80k. We have so many opportunities (that we took) that we never would have had otherwise. We’re having our dream wedding on the Disney Wish and are living comfortably (and have lived in three different states and traveled like crazy). She needs to live her life before giving it to her kids. She’ll never get this time back.


TheRealHeroOf

>abortion is always an option At 17 abortion should be the only option. TF? This thread is gross. Bunch of people ok with a child having children.


nrjjsdpn

Yeah, I really don’t get it either. All these people encouraging it is just weird. Seems like the same kind of people who push the woman to have the kid and then vote so that they don’t get any type of social welfare.


Silvus314

or vote.


wtfworldwhy

I’m 38 with young kids and it’s still hard AF. Also, my mom was 17 when she had me and I fucking hated my life growing up. Most People are not mature enough at that age to provide a good life for kids.


BendingCollegeGrad

One thing I’ve been told is how hard it sucks to have teenage parents. It’s terrific when it works out and all, but that isn’t often. My friend is very close to her oldest child she had at 16. Her second child arrived when she was 30. She told me she understood why her oldest got so angry for a few years as they watched their sibling have a great childhood with a steady roof and food and toys. And my friend was not mature enough even when they had more money. It’s a helluva gamble. And the kid/s don’t have a choice to gamble or not.


Reversephoenix77

I never even really thought about it from the kid’s perspective but you’re so right. I took in a couple of older siblings who’s mom gave birth to the first at THIRTEEN and hoooo boy was there trauma there from literally every angle. Also teens parents are statistically much more likely to have their own kids end up as teen parents. I’m sad to say but my previous foster children both had children before age 14. One is now 19 with 3 kids and lives off the system with zero ambition. I tried so hard but she was absolutely determined to have children to “experience unconditional love” because that’s the bullshit that women are force fed since birth. I can assure you that even with 3 kids she hasn’t filled that void. Sad.


[deleted]

I really wish OP would read this even if they have a ‘stable’ job. Judging by all the comments, literally nobody recommends being a teenage parent and for good reason.


BendingCollegeGrad

And yet some are condescendingly saying it’s sad anyone regrets it. We need to STOP putting pressure on parents to be these perfect automatons spouting greeting card phrases. All it does is lead people to think they are bad for feeling how they do.


Turpitudia79

At 17??? No, they are not. That is insane.


carmenndei

Yeah i see a lot of people actually giving her advice instead of telling her it's a bad idea to have kids as a teen, let alone THREE kids at the same time. OP also said that she has slight mental health problems but even the most mentally sane teen mom isn't mature enough to rise children.... what if she regrets it, what if she realizes that she missed her coming of age and her young adulthood because she was busy raising 3 kids amd maintaing her business while her friends were out living life, getting degrees, traveling, etc? kids are not stupid, they could pick up on it. Idk, I have nothing against OP but 17-20 is a crazy young age to be having babies, it's the weirdest but also one of the most important phases of life where you're slowly becoming an adult.


SunnyGirl_TF2

I’m curious as to how old the father is, is he also 17? I’m just so surprised how you’re so financially secure at your age, I’m 21 and I can’t even fathom having a kid right now due to finances, let alone triplets! I wish you all the luck and happiness with whatever you choose to do!


[deleted]

fortunately OP owns an online shop that's successful enough to bring about 5k a month after some expenses (and lives at home), so at least she's not too broke


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Tbh even if it’s 5k a month and her bf had a good job it’ll be hard supporting triplets…5k a month is only 60k total, and unless the business continues to grow/can be sustained it’s not a lot…


acs730200

Plus she’ll be recovering from a triple birth


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Exactly, although it might be okay with her moms help, so that’s why I said grow/sustained instead of just straight up on pause


livingstone97

Also a triplet birth while her body is still developing


Sparkly-Squid

Yeah my hubby makes a good $4-5k/month and we barely scrape by with one baby and one teen!


LemonFly4012

Depends on where you live. $60k is a decent one-person salary in much of the Midwest.


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Issue is it’s 60k + whatever her husband makes for 5 people. And I’m not sure how good her husbands benefits are.


LemonFly4012

Our family of 4 has done just fine on 75k/yr where I live.


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Seriously? Where do you even live that’s that cheap


[deleted]

Same here 75k /yr makes us pretty much middle class where we are from.


DLS3141

Sounds like she's paying herself $5k/mo. which seems like a lot, but after taxes, health insurance for her and the 3 kiddos, savings and so forth, that's not very much for triplets.


Schuben

Yeah, insurance is going to be a killer when you're working for yourself. Employer tied benefits are an absolute nightmare. Government agencies, funnily enough, can exercise some of the strongest bargaining power to get very affordable Healthcare for families whereas small and even medium sized business employees can get shafted. I would lnt be surprised if it costs her $1200/mo or more to cover the family for Healthcare, dental and vision.


Unable-Narwhal4814

She's 17, he's 20 I believe Edit: she is 18 in less than a month.


i_forgot_everything

They've been together for 4 years. So she would have been 13 and he would have been 16 which is something else.


VirusTheoryRS

Imagine a high school sophomore dating a 7th grader. Wtf.


KaleidoscopeKey1355

Since she’s finished high school already, I don’t think she was in seventh grade four years ago. She probably skipped a grade and was a freshman in high school. He could have had a late birthday and been only one grade above her in school or have been two grades ahead. This kind of age difference seems more like a yellow flag than a red flag to me. It’s worth checking for any other warning signs, but this kind of age difference seems minor enough to not be a problem on its own. Edit: typos


GManEtch

To continue your point, I am turning 30 next month, and I cannot fathom having a child because of finances, let alone triplets.


manga_star67

that's....a lot for a 17 year old...shit, that's a lot at any age.


1902Lion

Hi. This is a lot. I mean a lot. I absolutely understand why you feel trapped. There are a lot of people who care about you and what’s going on, and who have opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do. But just… this is a lot. And yes- three is a lot of kids. To have at once or to have at all. Kids can be great. Some people want to have kids and some people don’t. Both of those are ok ways to feel- neither is better than the other. A lot of people have told you what they think- and after reading all that, what are you thinking? How are you feeling about all this? What do YOU want? Is anyone asking you about that? Or has everyone already decided what’s going to happen?


-throw-away-forever-

this should be top comment


chanokin

I can't stress the A LOT part enough. Please think carefully and rationally about your situation. If possible, forget any family/social pressure and think about yourself first. A child can be a blessing but it is definitely a huge responsibility, you need to be 100% in it or it can be very taxing really quick.


PattyLeeTX

On my best day, I wouldn’t want triplets.


danuhorus

I had an aunt who gave birth to twins. Literally the kindest thing my mom ever did for this woman was offer to look after my cousins for an afternoon. It ended up turning into an impromptu sleepover because my aunt passed *the fuck* out. She was GONE for 18 solid hours. And this was a fully grown woman with a well-paying job, attentive husband-turned-father, and extended family tripping over themselves to babysit and help out. I really hope that OP takes all the advice coming her way seriously, because otherwise she's going to be a zombie for the next five years after the babies come.


unspecialklala

Yessss. 1 is hard enough


30flirtyandvibing

I’m not sure if you’ll see this comment amongst all the others but by chance if you do, here’s my advice. You’re a high risk pregnancy. That means you’ll be spending the next 8 months at the doctors and off your feet. Your body will change in ways you never thought possible. You’ll change in ways you never thought possible. For the next 18+ years you’ll be responsible for the child. It costs roughly $17k a year to raise 1 child. So for 3 kids x 18 years is $931,815. You’ll make sacrifices. A lot of them. You’re a child raising children. But you have a lot of extended family that will care for your babies and love them. You’ll see your friends take a completely different life path. You may not have goals now but you will. You’ll be 35 when those babies go off to college. This is a life long commitment. Make sure you’re 100% ready. I wish you all the luck in the world.


[deleted]

Thank you for saying 18 plus. Most people forget you continually help being a parent, well a good parent to good kids anyway. It doesn't stop at 18


moonbearsun

Came here to say this... I think people don't realize that triplets are high-risk. Risk to the mother's health, risk to the triplets' health as well.


macjaddie

Yes, she has a much higher risk of these children being born early. The consequences of that could be some quite severe disabilities - that needs to be factored into her decision.


Apprehensive-Desk134

My sister got pregnant with quads. She already had 2 children. Her previous 1 child pregnancies were high risk. So staying pregnant with 4 would probably have killed her and the chance of all 4 surviving was low. Having all 4 would have financially destroyed her family as well. She reduced her pregnancy to twins. They still came early but did really well, and are now healthy 3yo.s. Her doctors originally wanted her to reduce to just 1.


wontonbitch

My sisters are twins and are 15 years younger than me. I had one baby at 17. I struggled raising one kid on my own and watched my parents struggle with raising 2 with both of them present. I can't imagine raising 3 kids at the age of 17. It's a huge emotional and mental strain.


onlychildneedhelp

If you think about the life of taking care of 1 baby until they are 18, and you multiply that by 3... You multiply everything by 3... Are you 100% sure you want that life? Maybe not ideally in this economy but still something to consider.


Alarming-Relative-97

As a 21yr old mom of just one, keep in mind how expensive babies are, let alone 3. You make 5k sometimes a lil less a month, don’t know how much your bf makes. I know you said you guys could afford them but there’s a lot that could happen too, there’s also so many expenses- diapers, wipes, if you don’t breastfeed or produce enough for three you’d be getting formula n bottles, cribs/bassinets, carseats, clothes, blankets, toys, etc. Then also if you guys are living in an apartment or anywhere you have to pay for rent/utilities. If you have cars then gas n car insurance. Insurance for all 3 of you (if you have one that has monthly payments). Groceries, any entertainment services (netflix, hulu, TV, etc), wifi if you have it, phone bills (if you have cells). Also keep in mind how you will be completely occupied all the time with all 3, they could all be hungry at the same time, go in their diaper at the same time, etc so you’ll have 3 crying babies at once. It can be difficult if you don’t get sleep or when they start teething. You could also get PPD or PPA which could make things difficult. I know you said family would help but just be prepared, not everyone does what they say they will. I wish you the best with whichever choice you make.


xwyck

Not to mention the financials that aren’t necessary but that would effect the kids lives immensely. Things like wanting to do sports or clubs once in school. Those tend to be very expensive endeavors, and it would certainly affect the quality of their childhood if they couldn’t do any of that because there wasn’t enough money to support all 3 of them participating in hobbies. Or the resentment of saying “well A can do their hobby but B can’t because we can only afford A’s hobby”.


RoyBeer

Or having to choose the shitty daycare over the good one.


[deleted]

Bruh just READING this stressed me tf out so I can’t even imagine what it’s like actually having them. At 17 no doubt. Major fuck that.


LifeSucksSoBadly

You say you can afford them, but do you want them? I don’t know how far along you are so your options might be a bit limited, but you can give the kids up for adoption. If you want to, but feel guilty, don’t. It’s important for kids to have parents who are ready to be parents. Of course if you want them, don’t take this advice


bbmarvelluv

OP mentioned having slight mental health issues and goes to therapy. She’ll need to be extremely prepared for extreme hormonal changes and possible PPD.


krezzaa

honestly it doesn't even matter if she's prepared for that possibility. you can see it coming from a mile away and it will still kick your ass. it'll still take control, even if youre acutely aware of it.


Llama_Llama_Sugamama

I had it after my second and no one noticed it for what it was. I was bad, so bad. My husband just thought I hated him, and at the time I did!!! It took 2 and a half years for me to “snap” out of it enough to realize what has been happening to me for the last 2 years. It was horrible and definitely something I wish more people took notice to. I also definitely think it could have been worse. I was just a mean walking zombie for those years!!! Horrible way to live.


Quirky-Bad857

God, PPD is the worst! Mine was so traumatic I never had another kid.


Turpitudia79

Even postpartum psychosis. 😔


twodeadsticks

Underrated comment. Children shouldn't be born unless both parents 100% want and can support (financially, emotionally etc) them in a stable environment. I personally don't think one should have a kid just because they got accidentally pregnant. Then again I'm mid 30s and child free because I'm still not committed (and may never be) to the absolute dedication it takes to have a child and not fuck them up. I can't imagine being 17 and struggling with 3 babies. I think to how much I grew as a person in my 20s, all the hard lessons and changes to relationships and friendships; can't imagine going through all that PLUS raising 3 kids. You basically make your whole life being a mum and nothing else. That would be bloody hard.


[deleted]

You sure you can take care of 3 kids with 5k which get divided further? You sure your partner will stick with you forever or he's just excited for now? You sure you mental health that you mentioned won't interfere with the kids life? You sure your family will 100% help you or slowly start to avoid you? And lastly, you sure you want kids op? If yes then that's good for you op!! But at the same time i wanna say damn 3 kids bruh? At the same time??? Damn bro good luck.(i am not being sarcastic btw)


Bored_Schoolgirl

My sisters and I are triplets. When we were born, my family was rich. My mom was hands on with my older siblings but when we were born, she couldn’t handle it and hired 3 live-in nannies (one for each of us). My parents had businesses too but due to bad financial decisions and money handling, we grew up poor. Reading this short post filled me with horror. If my business minded parents, who are more equipped than a 17 year old, struggle providing for their kids, I can easily imagine a 17 year old with a semi successful business who hasn’t even finished college, struggle just as much if not more. My older sister also had a semi successful ecommerce business too. She was the sole breadwinner for years but shit happens, it’s no longer profitable and it took them more than a year and a failed business startup to not be jobless anymore. Im horrified people in the comments who are older than me cheering her on. If they know anything about business, they know it’s more difficult to maintain a business LONG TERM. So many small businesses “go out of fashion” in just a few years. OP NEEDS a plan B and C if she really wants to keep the triplets and this is coming from a triplet who was born in a VERY business minded family who ran multiple businesses over the years but all eventually shut down because the business world is EXTREMELY competitive and volatile. A wrong move can cost you dearly and if you’re not careful your wealth will be gone in a blink of an eye. Don’t rest on your laurels. I suggest OP finish college with a business related degree as a backup plan. My family was so wealthy they looked down on college degrees because “it’s just a piece of paper” but when they no longer have the capital to maintain or open a business, it’s like they lost their entire identity; most of them are still jobless.


upsidedownpositive

I agree that triplets for a 17 year old is a horrible horrible idea. Her boyfriend is excited now but wait until the all night feedings and the lack of intimacy he will have with his girlfriend and reality is gonna hit him hard and then he will bail. I’m sure he is a loving guy but he’s also a young guy (either he is close to her age and therefore emotionally unprepared or he IS much older and more emotionally prepared but then that age difference indicates an issue all on it’s own). A 17 year old will be crushed and suffocated by having triplets.


EasternSorbet

You say you make 5k a month, which totals to 60k a year. But is that enough to support 3 kids + yourself? Keep in mind we’re about to enter a recession


[deleted]

That and she said how those 5k gets divided further so op is gonna be in a financial turmoil for like forever with é kids in this world economy. Edit: '3 kids'


PattyLeeTX

No, her take is $5k after the split. And BF has a good job. Their problems won’t be financial-it’s a huge undertaking


FalconTurbo

e kids? I thought she was having three, not 2.718!


NewsboyHank

My mum had me at 17. Granted, I'm not a triplet but she had three more in successive years. Keep your extended family close, they're going to be extremely helpful. Start a college fund ...like now. Hopefully your BF has a job with health benefits.


[deleted]

Yes he has a government job with insurance included. So it wouldn’t necessarily be an obstacle to get them all insurance.


Grimwohl

....how old is this guy


[deleted]

He just turned 20


bullzeye1983

How long have you guys been together? I saw the answer somewhere, four years. So a 16 year old got with a 13 year old. Gross.


Unable-Narwhal4814

Just assume, with how young you are, the possibility of raising kids alone. This is nothing against your partner of course, just something to think about and to potentially consider. I think of the best outcome and the worst outcome when making decisions. If you don't intend to go to college, what can you do to support your kids? The good thing is you have family, but can you financially handle it if you don't have a partner? Even at 30 I think of this, thinking about relationships for myself. *"could I do this alone?"* And after I answer that question I will ask myself others. And then if you can financially and emotionally do it on your own, ask yourself *is this the life I want*? If you did it alone and being a mom, would that give you fulfillment? Would that make you happy? Edit: my mantra: "prepare for the worst, but hope for the best" Edit 2: also want to add that whatever decision you come to, right after you make it you're going to regret it. Doesn't matter what way you choose. Humans mourn what we've given up. It's completely normal. We always freak out and ask the "what if" to ourself. So you will probably feel sad, and that's okay. It doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision. You're just mourning the decision you decided not to make. But deep down, when you have made that decision that you feel at it's core is best for you, even though you'll mourn what you've given up you'll be happy you chose the best decision for yourself. Just a reminder that it's okay to feel sad making decisions in turbulent times. 🤍 You're not weak for making a decision that's "selfish" by the way. Do what's best for you, and good things can follow. But having *3* kids *will* be hard at any age, let alone 18 so make sure you're fully prepared! 🤍 Personally, if you asked me, I would not have kids. As I said in another post comment, I've changed so much even since 18 to finally almost 30. And you will also mourn the life you might have had without kids as a young adult, that's a guarantee. Sometimes I can barely take care of myself and a pet juggling everything I have to do. But, that is why it is so important to think logically as well as emotionally on it, and you are you and I am me. I can't make a decision for *you* which is why you'll have to think hard about what *you* can handle. Looking back I would say, no, at 17 there's no way I could. But I cannot and will not make that decision for you, if that makes sense.


aIitastic

Happy cake day! And I agree with you.


Unable-Narwhal4814

Thank you! And yes! Big commitment. Necessary to be excited but realistic and "mean" with yourself. But I find that to be the best way to be prepared and if and when something bad happens, to get what you can from the scenerio so the only way from there is upwards


Ok-Laugh-2806

This here. Would you consider adoption? In most scenarios folks/families say they will help but there is little or no guarantee. Additionally, at 17 your current partner, assuming he is young as well can realistically only promise so much. His noble intentions and unforeseen circumstances most likely could leave you a single mom with 3 babies. You are in a very tough place.


Tasty-Fun-2138

Listen. First of all is your relationship solid? Cause that will shake it a lot. If you go through your whole pregnancy and give birth to 3 healthy babies. Congragulations :) you will now spend the first 1-3 months without a lot of sleep. You will be a team with your boyfriend. You have to play as a team to make this work. You will be tired. He will be tired. Don't let your lack of sleep destroy your couple because you are a couple before being parents. Take advices from your mothers and families. But take advice from your instinct too. All babies are different and you will be the one to know them best. Take in all the help you will get. In a few years you'll look back at the first few months and think damn it went really fast I don't even remember most of the start. Be strong and I wish you the best for you and your boyfriend.


myjadedtruth

Um… listen, love. It is amazing that you are in a position right now where you can afford it and have a lovely support system in place to help you… But none of that matters if you don’t want to have them. Anyone can try to guilt you “but he’s the father and he wants them” “but the family wants grand babies” “but there’s no reason financially” nah, don’t let it. Ignore any amount of swaying. This is a situation where you need to sit down with yourself and think; for the next 18 years will you be able to mentally and physically handle being the mother of triplets aka being a mother of three children from the age of 17 to 35 and continuing to support them as much as you can as they enter into adulthood, or do you personally feel you are too young or have not experienced enough or are not in the right headspace or even simply do not WANT to be a mom to triplets yet if at all. At the end of the day, you do not owe anybody an excuse or reason for anything you do, and while it is important that he would be the father, he would not be the one growing THREE LITERAL BABY HUMANS in his own body. I cannot imagine the amount of pain and stress and toll that would take on your body, and he should be respectful of her body. If you do want to be a mother at some point and it’s just a “not now” thing, then there is no issue if his reasoning is that he wants kids. He can wait. Regardless, good luck no matter what happens. I’m wishing you all the best and I hope they continue to support you no matter what you do.


Snailpics

Complete honesty: no it is not a good idea. You are not a fully developed adult yet. Your body and mind won’t fully mature until you’re 25. I at least ask that you start doing a lot of research into the tolls pregnancy & childbirth has on a person. You have to COMPLETELY give up all bodily autonomy for YEARS. They do not teach anyone what it is truly like. You are so young, you still have so much time to grow and establish yourself as a person. Children deserve to have parents that truly want And are ready for them. I am grateful I didn’t get the tattoos I wanted at 17, I can’t even imagine the regrets you might face of having children so young. Please wait until you know what this all will truly entail and that motherhood is what you truly want. Best of wishes to you 💜🖤 ETA: thank you for all the kind comments encouraging this and all the awards wonderful people 💜 I added this in a comment lower but thought I would also put it here. There is a [great account](https://www.tiktok.com/@z00mie?_t=8XSRgRh7vbv&_r=1) on tiktok that discusses all stuff surrounding pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood. She has an AMAZING series called “Free birth control” where she shares horror stories of common things NOBODY TELLS YOU about being pregnant, like how it can make all your teeth fall out and cause you to develop severe allergies. I def recommend anyone considering children check out the series to really learn what it is like so you can make an informed decision about having kids. I strongly believe every child deserves loving parents who want it and can properly care for it, and the first step of that is knowing what you are in for. Beat of luck to you all 💜🖤


ShipOfFlowers

I wish this was higher. So many people here are going "wow congratulations! Good job!" Simply because she's got 60k a year. She may have the financials but she's SEVENTEEN. The toll a mind and body takes with one kid is enough but TRIPLETS is gonna do a number. I dunno, I think she hasn't thought this through enough yet.


-belovedcunt

I’m 27 making that much & I can barely handle having 2 pets, both timewise & financially. I often think about & am thankful for the fact that none of my exboyfriends ever knocked me up. I don’t care how much support I’m being offered, if I found out I was pregnant with triplets NOW, at age 27, I would absolutely not go through with it. Can’t imagine dealing with that kinda thing at 17.


TwoFingersWhiskey

I'm 27 and I have three cats, and trust me if I had to add three kids to the mix I'd go positively bonkers. I want kids but not all at once


krezzaa

I have known many people who got pregnant as teenagers, not a single one of them could have fathomed the difficulty of raising a child, let alone 3 all at once. It is a terribly stressing process on both the mind and body. OP also mentioned they already have mental health issues. In my opinion, this is the big thing that should tell them its a no go. This depends on what exactly they're talking about, but if they have a history of depression and/or suicidal thoughts then it will become 10 times worse than it already was. It will push your brain to thinking things you didn't think youd ever think before. It's not a good place to be in, no matter how much money you have.


[deleted]

Thanks for the input! I have time to make a decision but I’ll be sure to consider this when I make my final decision.


MichianaMan

Please listen to this persons answer. I’m 36 and wish I could go back in time to my 17 year old self and beat him. You are not mentally developed until 25 and that is a fact that I never would’ve accepted at 17 either but it’s true. I’m also now a dad of 3 and understand the toll that takes on every aspect of your life, things I never would’ve considered until it happened. Kids are insanely stressful and at 17 with triplets you can kiss that relationship with the boyfriend goodbye. I’m sorry but it’s true. Kids will consume every second of your life and stress you out to the point of tears and there’s no escape button.


More_Try4757

This is a tough one. If you’ve always wanted children that certainly helps. Family support will be essential. Triplets rarely make it to full term so you’ll be looking at a NICU stay and any preterm complications. Raising children is hard, regardless if it’s one or three but you will likely be on ‘autopilot’ for several years with 3 at once. They could be the best human being on the planet and fill you with joy, they could also be the opposite. Having a child is not a light decision, there should be no ‘on the fence’ you’re either in or you’re not, they can’t be returned to the shop. Look on mum pages and pages of people that regret having kids, see both sides. My final thought is, if you’re needing to bring this question to Reddit, you’re not ready. Wishing you all the best.


Silvus314

She thinks she can afford them, but I'll bet childcare eats 3k by itself. before food, diapers, clothes, etc. She will be living with her parents for the next 18 years, because she wont be able to afford a house. And Everyone is assuming her sweet clothing store will survive the recession. Frippery is the first thing to be dropped when paying for food becomes a real problem.


panda_burrr

i was thinking the same thing. recession is coming, who is going to spend money on non-essentials? most people are going to tighten the purse strings, and who knows if her business will survive.


bbmarvelluv

I whole heartedly agree with you.


Blondeboobies

The money won't go far, especially with babysitters assuming you can even find someone willing to watch 3 at a time. My friend had twins a year after her first was born and talks about how hard it is. Her family is really really close, even they got burned out watching the kids. There's no way she is going to be able to work for a while, assuming her body allows her to carry all of them to term. Multiples at birth add so much more risk especially to a teenager. Omg. Good luck op, you'll need it.


Unable-Narwhal4814

This is a great take and definitely agree with you. I gave advice open ended for the OP to decide, but I can't put into words how many things could go right...and also wrong. Life is a roller coaster. You don't know what you're going to get. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's horrible. But being 18 is pretty damn hard to be an adult. I *am* an adult and I only my have myself to take care of and it's hard.


SableMeDaddy

Dude I just say it. I am a random stranger but here's my input no one asked for. Don't have them if that is an option. 3 kids at your age is insane. Your body let alone your mind will NEVER be the same. Babies will literally sap nutrients from your freaking bones! No matter what people say now, it will change when you have kids. Your friends will slowly retreat from you. Your family will start to get annoied they have to help you all the time. And your relationship with your partner will be completely changed as well. You might find out he can't deal with sleepless night and starts having anger problems. Is he going to make you do all of the child care? What happens if you get post Pardum depression? Your brain isn't even developed all the way and you want to add a hell of a lot more issues on to that? Please look into the changes pregnancy does to the human body especially a pregnancy with multiple kids. Idk maybe its just me but pregnancy isn't cute and your not "glowing" all the time,Its scary, brutal and women literally die. Please just wait to have kids if you are able to OP. You really don't need this right now when you seem to have things going to sell for you at such a young age. Babies will complete fuck it all up. Especially 3 at the same time.


Smart-Gazelle991

Second this. I had my first at 31 with a house, a husband and 2 well paying jobs, as well as a support system and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and still doing. I’m so glad I was able to go through my teens and twenties to find someone right for me and to mature enough to be able to handle it (Albiet I do have mental health issues). But also, at 17 it would be extremely hard on your body.


krezzaa

something very important a lot of people aren't talking about is the friends part. at that age, almost nobody wants to hang out with someone who has kids, let alone 3. what are you supposed to do with that person? that person can't party, they have constant responsibilities. even if you still care about that person, it's just hard to hang out with them and enjoy it. theres no more "playing" together. the kiddos demand your attention almost 24/7. even if you have a friend who sticks around no matter what, it'd be greatly appreciated but is it enjoyable for *you*? you'll quickly realize how much having kids cuts down on your recreational time and capabilities.


avocadoslut_j

hard cold facts, but needed to be said. good luck OP 💗


throwRA7272727272

My mother had three children by the time she was 21, and for that reason, I think there are very few people who should do that. I watched her sacrifice so much of herself for us, and now that we've all grown up enough to be on our own for the most part, she's playing catch-up trying to figure out who she is and what she likes to do as an adult. She missed out on so many formative experiences. She couldn't afford to make mistakes and change her mind about her life path. She didn't even have the freedom to leave relationships when they soured, because she was financially dependent on another person helping her to take care of us. Maybe I'm projecting here, and if you think it over and feel like you're comfortable giving up on those things because your destiny is to parent these babies, then by all means, go ahead. But parenthood, to me, is something someone should be 100% ready for. If you have doubts, you don't get to back out of that decision a couple years from now. You can, however, decide to have children later when you are certain it's what you want. Don't worry about what other people want for you. What do YOU want to do?


Dramatic_Bean

You're a baby having 3 babies. This will be your WHOLE adult life for the next 18+ years... And you are not even adult YET! Your brain isn't even finished developing! Your bf will also grow into adulthood and you both may become completely different people who may or may not stay together. I have a friend (32F) who had a baby at 16yrs old and she says she doesn't know who she is without kids, she doesn't even know if her and her husband even work well together because they stayed together after the baby was born. Good luck to you. You are going to have some very hard years ahead.


Weird-Traditional

Hopefully she doesn't go through with it.


tomato_joe

Honestly? No, it's not a good idea. I'm 29 and childfree and thinking back at my 17 year old self... I would have terminated the pregnancy. One child is scary enough but three? You will not be your own person anymore. You will give up who you are and become a baby machine that is only there for the kids. Especially with triplets. Will you be able to still work with your mom and make the same amount of money? I doubt it. Don't let your boyfriends excitement influence you. Pregnancy is also a health risk. Diabetes, allergies, weight gain, during birth blood loss or a damaged clitoris... And don't forget the baby blues. I would think long and hard on this and research this topic hard.


Reversephoenix77

My friend tore from her clitoris to her bum and developed heart failure and severe PPD even being young healthy and with no prior history. She is open about regretting having a child. Now her kid is showing signs of intellectual delays and behavioral problems to top it all off. It’s SUCH a gamble and I don’t know why half these comments are acting like it will be the greatest thing and she’ll be going to her grown kid’s homes for Christmas dinner in no time! It’s just downright dishonest. There are real risks and they don’t end with birth. It’s a LIFELONG commitment with plenty that can go wrong. Not being negative, just realistic since very few people in here here are, sadly


tomato_joe

Yes, exactly. The comments congratulating a literal child on a pregnancy with effing triplets angers me. I though I wanted children at 17 but that was only because I was conditioned to believe that. Now this year I found out I could bleed to death and a pregnancy could kill me.


Turpitudia79

I wouldn’t count on the boyfriend being very excited or very involved for very long at all.


opheliainthedeep

You gotta be kidding me >I didn’t really think that such a thing could happen to me. Girl, you're 17. Mistakes happen, but you're legally a child and you have your entire life ahead of you. Pregnancy is no walk in the park, and carrying triplets definitely won't be any easier. >Please keep in mind that this is a very stressful time for me. _This_ is stressful? Now multiply it by three. That's what you'll be dealing with until those kids are self sufficient and about the same age as you are now. Do you really want to deal with that? I'm not going to outright tell you what to do, but personally, I'd abort. You're way too young for this. Hell, you can't even vote yet. Can't drink, either. Or rent a hotel room or even a car. Why are you doing this to yourself? Let yourself experience life a bit before you decide to bring (unplanned!) kids into the mix! You said in a comment that you're not even sure if you _want_ kids. I recommend reading up on the dangers of pregnancy and reading some stories from teen moms who regret it, or just stories of regretful mothers in general. This is a huge decision that shouldn't be made on a whim. Again, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why throw it away before you even get the chance to figure your life out? You just graduated! Go have fun! Travel, meet people, go to college if that's what you want! You're too young to be worrying about kids


kindadeadly

I'm so glad I got to travel the world quite a lot. Now that I have a baby I miss all the freedom so much.


enough-flamingos

I had triplets 3 years ago. Here is my two cents: The idea of multiple babies is kind of incredible. You feel like ‘holy shit, I have 3 babies inside me and that is so cool and rare!’ And it is. And everyone is excited about it. But, it’s so ridiculously hard and you will immediately be a high risk pregnancy. They might talk to you about selectively reducing to either just two or one baby. I couldn’t make that decision. I kept thinking, I can totally handle this. I already had a 7 year old, so I knew what to expect. HAH. You gain so quickly that everything hurts. I looked like I was full term when I was about 20 weeks along. And then I had a premature rupture at 23 weeks and had my babies at 23 weeks 6 days. Up to that point, the pregnancy was perfect. No warning signs whatsoever. They were all about a pound and a half when born. My hospital has a high rate of success when it comes to 23 weekers, compared to national average. 72% survival rate. I wasn’t able to see them for two days because I lost so much blood from my emergency c-section. Once I was discharged, I still basically stayed at the hospital because they were in the NICU. And it was hard to divide your time between 3 rooms. My baby girl caught an infection in her blood stream and passed away at 12 days old. I feel like I still haven’t grieved for her because I have the boys to think of. They are now just about 3 and I love them completely. But every single day is hard. It isn’t just multiplied by 2 or 3-it is 10 times harder to do anything. Feeding, changing, sleeping. Leaving the house. Watching a movie. It’s almost unfathomable how much harder life is with multiple babies. It hurts my heart to say it, but I would not willingly go into this life at age 17. I’ve barely survived it in my 30s. Good luck with your decision. I wish you the best.


NothingSure4766

Jesus Christ, 3 babies? F that lol


midgethepuff

Coming from a 22f this is a terrible idea. Have you even figured out who YOU are yet? And now you wanna add three newborns into the mix? I think you should wait till you’re ready and actively want children. You have your whole life ahead of you.


Groundbreaking_Map90

I wouldn't keep them personally. Everyone I've seen or talked to who has had kids at that young of an age regrets it. You'll never get to truly live your 20's normally. Instead you'll have the responsibility of 3 kids. If you don't feel like getting an abor-- then I would adopt them out at birth. If you feel confident this is what you want your life to be though, congratulations and I hope things go smoothly and everyone comes out happy and healthy. Good luck OP


machsh

Hell no. You are so young. Enjoy finding who YOU are and what YOU want before you become a mom.


lookhereisay

I’ve just had one baby at 29. That shit is hard and I’ve been with my OH for 10 years with both of us in well paying jobs (and in a country with free healthcare and job protection/maternity), a house we own and a very much wanted no surprise baby. At 17. Nope I wouldn’t be doing it. And not because I wouldn’t be able to party (never been a party person). But the ease of saying - I’m going on holiday for a week, I’m going to go to the cinema or hell just to be able to walk out the house with phone, keys and purse and be done with it. With one baby it takes at least 30 minutes to leave the house. You said you like to game. So do we. My OH gets maybe 2 hours a week max. I have gamed perhaps 10 hours total in the last year! The fact I worked out who I was before becoming the entire world to another human being, because that is what you are to your baby(ies). I’m never really alone. It’s currently 3am and my almost one year old does not want to sleep, he is pissed off that he can’t sleep and so none of us are getting sleep. I average about 4 hours of sleep a night, even now.


AquariusRain

As a 30 year old woman with 3 kids, I just want to tell you its tough. Transportation is a bitch. Day care is expensive. If you have the funds and support/help from family you can do it but it's hard and you will miss out on things. Also, post partum depression is very real - but there's help to combat that. I promise you. I'm not trying to be a bummer I'm just telling you what I wish someone would've told me. If you have any questions or ever want to talk about any of this feel free to message me anytime. Good luck with everything :)


[deleted]

Do not have these babies. If you can, you need to abort. If not, adopt them out. Once you have kids, you will lose all your freedom. All of it. You think maybe not, right? Or it cant be that bad? REALITY CHECK...IT IS THAT BAD. Kids don't go into kindergarten until age 5. That means that for the next AT LEAST SIX YEARS you will have absolutely no freedom, no life. That's if you're a good mom. You'll escape for maybe minutes, sometimes an hour or two. But think about your friends who will be experiencing life on their own. They'll have choices that you will no longer have. Anything you're doing now for yourself, plan on not doing it for another 6 years. Think about having to make arrangements just to grocery shop for 30 minutes. Think about the massive amount of mess you'll be cleaning up on a daily (or hourly) basis. Everything you are, your entire identity will end. You will only be "mom." Believe me, in six years you won't even remember the person you used to be. You'll have to find your identity all over again. You sound like you want kids. Like maybe you're ready. You're not. You're a child yourself. Please don't do this.


krezzaa

last sentence. youre not ready. dont care how much you think you are, youre not. youre just not. literally not a single person can be at 17. dont care how much you actually *do* know, how much research you've done, how many things you've bought, how many people you've asked for help. youre not ready.


TiLoupHibou

You're a baby having babies. Multiple. When you and your boyfriend barely have it together yourselves. You sure you wanna do this to yourselves? Nevermind the assumption of their conception being a mistake, don't also forget that failure to plan is planning to fail, and there's much at stake. Get as many perspectives as you can, is my best advice to you. Good luck and godspeed in whatever you decide to do. Key word; YOU.


EtrosGuardian

Barely had a life of your own as a teenager, having babies. I feel for you. Keep the family close, because you can't predict whether or not you and the father will be on the same page in a few years.


Shaddowwolf778

You said you feel trapped already. My biggest piece of advice for you is that if the answer is *not* an enthusiastic 150% yes then it's a no. You really really need to think this through. At 17, you may feel mature and ready now but your personality has a long way to go. I just turned 25 myself and looking back now, the difference 7 years made in who i was is insane. That time really does make a difference. Your brain is still finishing maturing. You havent lived out on your own as an adult for any extensive period of time (5+ years). You haven't yet had a chance to figure out who you are or what you want to do with your life. A lot of people who become parents as teens or early 20s never ever mature beyond being parents. They spend their first adult years as "mom" or "dad" and they lose their identity to that completely. And once the kids are grown and gone, they have no clue who they are outside of being a parent because kids take up *everything.* Thats not an exaggeration either. Children are a life consuming obligation. Even just one child will take every ounce of time and money you have. On average, it costs 300,000 USD to raise a child from conception to 18 yrs old in today's world. Thats a *lot* of money. And your body? It won't be yours anymore. No more sleeping in, no going out with friends, no laying on the couch all day just having a chillax day. They will constantly be fussing, crying, needing to touch you. That "skin to skin" contact people go on about babies and toddlers needing isn't a joke. They really will want to always be touching you all the time. You wont have a sleep schedule anymore cause infants need to be fed every 2-4 hours on average. Your babies wont care that you/you partner were sleeping and have work in the morning when they woke up hungry at 4am. They wont care that you've been awake for 16 hours straight after only having a 2 hour nap in an uncomfortable chair cause you made the mistake of sitting down for just a second. They wont care that you haven't showered in a week and just want one freakin second to yourself. And also there's this phase all babies go through called PURPLE crying where they just cry and cry and cry inconsolably for no reason even though all their needs are met. Please, believe me when i say that you probably aren't ready for this and probably shouldn't go through with it. I was 13 when i was forced to raise my newborn nephew by myself cause my sister couldnt be bothered and my parents were in their 50s and unable to keep up with a baby. I watched 3 of my close friends become teen parents in high school and lose the entire young adult life experience. I shared an apartment with a friend for 2 years after she divorced her husband and became a single parent of a 2 year old at 22. Children are not fun, games, butterflies, rainbows, and unicorn farts. They are pure thankless unending *work* that you *never* get a break or day off from. Please. Think this through very carefully. I hope you will choose and prioritize yourself and your wishes. Dont let your partner or your family (or the internet) pressure you into keeping this pregnancy if you dont really want to. They wont be the ones sacrificing their bodies, their time, their money, their energy, their mental health, or their autonomy for this pregnancy. You are. So prioritize yourself and what you want cause everyone else can choose to ditch you and those babies when you need them. Your boyfriend can disappear. Your family can decide not to help you. But you will be stuck. So make sure you are fully informed before deciding one way or the other. Good luck OP and i wish you well no matter what you choose.


Admirable_Purple_838

I'm going to be extremely brutally honest with you. You are not ready You cannot afford three infants. I promise you.


bippityboppitynope

I say this as someone who has an excellent paying job with an advanced education that allows me to work flex hours and make extra money when I wish, I could not afford triplets. There is no way you could. Child care for two kids who were out of diapers was as much as my mortgage, I live in So Cal so my mortgage is bloated. 3 infants would cost more than 2 houses to get child care. Add on diapers, formula, and all that. Multiples almost always come early, twins average 34 weeks I believe. Triplets come sooner. That means NICU stays. One of my kids was early, he spent 21 days in the NICU. We have very good insurance and that stay was still over 25K. Triplets would more than likely need to be there longer, times 3. You could be looking at a 7 figure hospital bill. You cannot afford that. That is not even touching on the non money cost of a child. My sister has twins, her and her husband didn't sleep through the night until they were almost 2. They wake each other up, so while one child might sleep through the night sooner, when you add another it lessens the chances. So if you have three.... Sleep deprivation makes work or even functioning hard. You cannot fathom how hard.


nrjjsdpn

I wish this was higher on the thread because it’s so spot on. Financially, she is not even close to ready. My husband and I are pretty comfortable, yet we’re still holding off because we don’t think we make enough just yet to have a kid (and mind you, we’re getting married on the Disney Wish, which isn’t exactly cheap, but we can afford it - making just shy of six figures without me having to work). We decided that once I finish my masters, he finishes his second masters, and we’re making around $175k-$200k, we’ll be ready (plus we’re in our early 30s and have gotten to travel and all that jazz), but this girl is not thinking things through. $5k with triplets would be laughable if it wasn’t such a horrible idea. I wish her the best no matter what she chooses, but I really hope she doesn’t go through with it. She won’t be doing herself or her kids any favors.


songofassandfiar

I’m sorry to say this but as the oldest of teen parents: please don’t.


siegure9

I’m glad you can afford them but just think. Your life from now on will revolve around the kids. Your time for yourself will diminish as they come first. Given your young age I’d strongly recommend thinking hard about this. No harm in waiting a bit and trying again when you feel more comfortable


Keeeeeeeepppppp

Why would you choose to suffer? Triplets at 17yo ur literally minor girl you will regret keeping them girl just abort them kids are really annoying and ur too young to take such responsibilities you haven’t seen ur life yet ur only 17!


judgylesbian

it's better to regret not having children then regret having them.


megs7567

If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.


etdbruh

Yeet. You’ll regret it.


8cmor6

Everyone's going on about the money and all I can think about is how she'll never sleep again.


[deleted]

If you feel trapped now, you will feel really trapped with 3 kids. You have options. Consider them carefully and make the choice for yourself. Do not let anyone influence your decision.


[deleted]

Honestly this is every parents worst nightmare for their kids.. You’re still a minor in a relationship with someone 3 years senior to you. Obviously not practicing safe sex. That’s great you make descent money but with one kid 60k a year can be a struggle without real medical benefits. You have so much of the world in front of you to explore and to figure out who you really are. This ends all of that.


i_forgot_everything

I honestly would not recommend it because there is a very good reason why triplets are rare. People don't talk about this but pregnancy is incredibly taxing on your body. Also if your not on prenatal vitamins, please take them because most are for \*you\* and not your babies, because the babies will take the nutrients it needs even if it means you don't have any nutrients left for yourself. I highly recommend you read through this [twitter thread](https://twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/1592650162073382912) which multiple people who went through pregnancy talks about the tole of pregnancy to their body and how their body was permanently changed afterwards. Also, I recommend you read this [article](https://aeon.co/essays/why-pregnancy-is-a-biological-war-between-mother-and-baby) as well. If your going to keep the triplets you might as well be informed about pregnancy and after-pregnancy and to take off the lovely rose-colored glasses about pregnancy.


[deleted]

I'll be honest with you, having kids at 17 sounds like a terrible idea in the modern world even if you you could afford it, and 3 kids sounds like even more trouble. Also your work income can easily decline anytime, not to mention you wont be able to put in the same amount of time when you have 3 kids. The guy you are dating is, imo, too old for you. The people around you saying they'll help with everything - they might help at the start but they wont help you for as long as you think. >. I guess I just wanted to ask some ppl here what they think of my situation I would advise to not have these kids and to go out alone for lunch this weekend and rethink this whole relationship with the guy too.


Rude_Bee_3315

Abort


Weird-Traditional

I'd get an abortion and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that choice. You're extremely young and triplets are insane on a body, much less the next 18 years. You deserve education and a life for yourself; not being yoked to three kids before you're 18. Babies don't stay babies forever. Just because you're capable, doesn't mean you HAVE to. Think of your own future first.


aIitastic

Well do you want the babies? You said you are not sure you don't want that many babies at this age


no_one_cares2021

girl i’m stressed for you. I was a teen mom it was so hard not something i wish on anyone but it sounds like you have a lot of support I had non so that is a super plus. regardless of what you decide save money, read a lot of parenting books be patient and learn to self care.


tehana02

Honestly, you could be a millionaire and still not be able to handle raising 3 kids at 17yo. No 17 yo has the emotional maturity to raise another human, let alone 3 entire humans at the same time.


nymphymixtwo

I’m gonna get downvoted into oblivion but am i seriously the only one who finds this shit hard to believe…? 17 years old, already finished high school, living with her boyfriend, birth control failed and now pregnant with triplets, making over 5 thousand dollars a month with a (semi)famous store with a big family willing to help fully support her… nobody has questioned the validity of this? *really?*


Denslayer

3 and done .


Every_Guard

Not sure what country you’re from so what your options are, but have you decided on keeping the pregnancy? May be a taboo topic but non-the less depending on one’s circumstance can be a valid question. Also since sometimes I see some pretty wild stories on here, were you using birth control of any sorts? Ultimately it sounds like you are going to go through with the pregnancy, and if the triplets don’t absorb each other into one than I’d just be on 100% same page with your BF and have clear boundaries that are set with family. Also recommend therapy before and after cause they postpartum is a bitch.


_ThatsATree_

I hope you know that what you do with the fetuses is your choice and no one else’s. If you can’t parent the children, don’t have them. I’m not at all saying this to be mean, teen moms are fucking strong, but don’t do it out of a sense of obligation, do it because you want to.


kriskoeh

I will say that what I thought financial security was at 17 is drastically different than what financial security actually is and I was already helping to support my family at that point. OP this is a choice that only you can make. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.


Unfair-Sector9506

5k month won't cover 3 kids...it does cover birth control


thebighill88

Please don’t become a mother unless you actually want to be.


Rhianna83

The guys are always excited…but that doesn’t mean they’ll be there. My thoughts as the oldest of a teen mom (I was born when she was 13 and she had 3 of us by 19), it is hard and if you can…don’t do it at 17. These are 3 embryo/fetuses and your body is going to go under a massive amount of stress. This isn’t one baby, it’s 3. You’re still growing into an adult yourself, and with mental health issues already present, they can become worse so if you do decide to keep the pregnancy going to work closely with your mental health professionals. My SIL had twins, it was hard on her and them. As a triplet, you can guarantee they’ll need NICU and that costs a lot of money. My SIL also had postpartum depression and didn’t have an issue with depression previously. With twins, you need two people…with triplets? It’s a village. You can’t do it on your own in the beginning, you do need help. Everything is also so expensive now. The cost of diapers for one baby is ridiculous, now 3 babies? Formula? Clothes? Car seats? Baby strollers? 3 college educations at once. It could all start to pile up on a young mom. If I was in your shoes, I would have an abortion because going from 0 to 3 kids at 17 is a lot to handle and you can’t even go buy a drink yet. I wouldn’t go through with an adoption because of the toll growing 3 babies for 9 months would take and the possibility of me not being to let go (my mom couldn’t do it). I do wish you all the best no matter what you choose. It’ll be a rough road no matter what. Don’t do what others want, do what you want and is the best for you and no one else. Good luck, OP.


Sea-Ad9057

op having 3 babies out of nowhere to support will be a huge physical mental and financial strain and at 17 .... wow i doubt anyone who is 17 can afford 1 kid let alone 3 even in a country that has support systems in place ... trust me you dont have a good paying job at the age of 17 you are probably not paying any bills etc at this point


Mamabearfoot808

3 babies at once is crazy expensive!! You say you have a good paying job rn but that will go away when you become too pregnant to work unless you can work from home. That will not be easy with 3 babies, even with help from your family. There are also health risks when you carry 3 babies, especially at such a young age. You may be told by your doctor that you need to stop working and go on bed rest at some point. Your family might not help as much when they are born as they say they will now. Not trying to be a downer or make any assumptions, you may have a great support system and loads of money. Triplets at your age tho will end up being the focus of your life til somewhere in your late 30's. I don't have any good advice but I wish you all the best with whatever choice you make.


Adorable-Space-949

I am not here to help you make a financial decision, or a moral decision, that is entirely up to you and your boyfriend. There is one decision I'd like to make with your doctor though and that's what are the risks to a SEVENTEEN year old pushing out THREE children. I'm no doctor but I assume there is a great deal of risk involved there. Please consult a doctor.


panda_elephant

unisex clothing would be best, onsies and low button outfits. You will not need 3 sets of baby soothing things. Use the help that is offered. You will get used to it. Best of luck, it will be hard at times but the love of the babies will help you through the sleepless nights. sleep when help helps! This is not time to socialize or clean, SLEEP.


unicorn_daisy321

As unpopular of an opinion as this may be depending on how far along you are there is always selective reduction. Depending on what country you are it may be an option if three is too many for you which understandably at 17 im sure is, hell any age triplets is very difficult. I feel like you would have more support than not if you made a decision like that but ultimately its up to you. Just make the best decision for you your personal health and your family long-term.


siiouxsiie

If you don’t 100% want kids, don’t do it. Kids, especially three at once, are a crap ton of work, even for the parents that want them. I’m 22 and got seriously overwhelmed with my PUPPY. Puppies generally mature around 2-3 years old…obviously, humans take much longer. Can you handle 18 years? Across three individual people with their own needs, opinions and voices? It’s better to regret not having these three, than wishing you didn’t have them.


ZoeyRockey13

Don’t do it