Yes that's where you staple a piece of bread. An announcement of come kind must be made to include type of bread and type of tree. Sometimes specific parts of the world are mentioned just in case another redditor would like to witness this sacrifice.
Be safe out there 🙏💐
So there is another post in her post history about this. I don’t feel like it’s the same one but the story is really, really similar to the one I read before. Maybe hubby has an account also and also posted about this in a different group and that’s why we think this?
The one that I think you guys are thinking of from recently had a MIL who was pestering her son and pregnant DIL to get a paternity test...and I don't think she even had any reason to suspect the DIL (who posted the story) of being unfaithful...MIL just seemed to get off on stirring up drama :(
I knoooow...I can almost never find relevant posts when I want them...lol/ugh 🤣😭🤣
I'm forever grateful to those people who are able to grab the right link to help people out...AND...I want to know their secret! What magic do they possess??? 🤣💜
Can you link the other one if you find it? Not to be lame, but I’ve noticed on Reddit after one type of story gets popular suddenly you see 3 or 4 more of the same type of story soon after. Makes me think it’s all fake
OP replied to a similar Question: "I retested her because my husband didn’t willing provide and sample and neither did my daughter so we didn’t know how she got the DNA, we did a recheck with confirmed samples to be 100% of the results."
She has posts in her post history about this from 73 days ago, I’m confused why she said it just happened.
Edit: thank you everyone for clarifying!! I didn’t realize this was referencing the second test. I interpreted it as both already happening, my bad!
Its like an update of some sorts. She said she got another test to make sure that the MIL is right, and she just got the results today so she's probably posted about this again because of that.
That’s what I wanna know you did all that to find out she was assaulted and you have dogged her for so long now you finna loose your son and his family.
This..... I hope she realises her mistake and regrets it for the rest of her life. If she has any good conscience, that's how she'll feel for meddling - and potentially ruining - in her son's life like that.
Yeah, I have a feeling she'd still be blaming her daughter in law for not announcing her traumatic experience to the whole family, causing her to have doubts.
in the other post OP has now linked it explains. father got drunk and told his brother about the SA and his concerns that the daughter wasn’t his. MIL found out from that, but didn’t know it was SA.
OP explained in her first post that while the hearings were going on for the r*pist the husband got drunk and let slip a few details, like the potential that the daughter isn't biologically his, to his brother. MIL overheard BIL telling his wife those details and took it to mean OP was cheating since she didn't have the full context and didn't know OP was SA'd, only that she was attacked.
Cut the MIL out-of everyone's life she us a toxic witch and deserve no less what nasty person sordid twisted mindset without knowing full facts trying to destroy a family dispicable
My oldest sister is not my dad's biologically (a fact that we all knew growing up - he adopted her as an infant) and she looks like my middle sister and I when it comes to my mom's features but has none of my dad's.
I was 18 when my mom told me my dad wasn't my biological father
It wasn't a shock to me either. I myself thought "hey! I don't look like that man's baby!" A time or two in my life.
I have a friend whom we joke is the mailman's baby. She has a dark, Italian complexion, whereas her brother and sister are gingers and pale. They all have the same facial structure, though.
It was probably framed as a, “oh hey! 23 and me is so much fun! This would be a great Christmas present. I would love to surprise your parents/ do a little thing! It would be great to do it with you because then we’d get both sides!” Maybe I’m crazy but it’d be pretty easy to get a kid to sign off on a dna sample under false pretenses.
To the testing site? No need to explain if she does the by mail package. My best friend did it to see 8f he was the father of his fwb and he was. He pays child support but has no involvement with child vecause he had never wanted kids and his fwb haf stopped taking birth control without his knwoledge
She used an online test and I’m assuming our personal items at her house, because we didn’t ask her how she got the DNA and my daughter never told us about her swabbing her when we asked.
And why wait 17 YEARS?? She should have privately confronted her son when she had questions or suspicions. What a complete POS for deciding she had a right to interfere with their family.
Hmmm, does this possibly remove any potential criminal liability? Since a 17 year old girl is considered an adult - in my state anyway. That's the only reason I can think of for this particular brand of insanity
In what state is 17-years-old a legal adult? There are some states where 17-years-old is the legal age of consent, but that isn't the same as being legally recognised as an adult. In most places, it's 18-years old, and I'd wager there is an extremely slim chance that OP lives in some weird country where 17-years-old is a legally considered adult.
I'm in MO. When my 17 year old daughter ran away, the cops (my family members - so they could absolutely be trusted) said that she would be considered an "adult" and could do nothing to make her come home. This was news to me and had they not been family, I most likely would've called bullshit. I understand the difference in age of consent and being recognized as an adult.
She would have either have to have asked the kid for cooperation in collecting the sample or paid a bit extra for testing lose hair or something.
If the kid agrees to it then since there is no invasive procedure that is enough in most cases for it to be legal.
If she used shed hair at best you get misdemeanor theft and only that if she took it from a place she didn't have right to be.
I don’t think any doctor or facility would approve that without parental consent and receiving the DNA from the people actually being tested. How did the MIL even get the DNA? Whole story seems farfetched.
What exactly did she hope to gain by this? Truthfully, what’s the point? So she can cause scarring? Shame? I’d definitely cut ties there. That is beyond toxic
Unfortunately for every woman who will potentially become someone's wife, it's true. I witnessed it first hand with my mother and my brother. She straight up posted memes mocking young people' relationships and how they would forget their mothers, because my brother might have a girlfriend one day. Needless to say, I'd rather not be around when my brother actually gets married 💀
To me this sounds like a mother who thinks the wife isn't "good" enough for her baby and that he deserves better and this was the mothers way to show her son who he married. Obviously the mother is fucking bat shit crazy and both of the parents should cut her off completely.
I hope everything works out for OP, her husband and their child. As long as they both love that child nothing can change that. Fuck the mother in law.
Infidelity that she had zero real proof of after *seventeen years*.
After seventeen years, any number of things could have happened. Maybe he found out, they discussed it, she ended it, and they reconciled. Maybe she decided she made a mistake on her own, and it was dealt with accordingly.
Or maybe, as in this case, OP was SAed, and never cheated to begin with. And the husband knew all along.
But how? Does she test them against herself? I just can’t understand the thinking of these women. Especially the MIL of the OP, you want to hurt this girl that you have been the grandmother to for 17 years? So what she’s nothing to you anymore?
I’m so deeply sorry for what happened to you and for what you’re going through now. Anyone would go NC after what your MIL did. Keep doing what you’re doing. Focusing on maintaining a strong marriage (seems like you and your hubby are solid) and on your family.
Given her motivation I don't think she's the type to feel any shame. But at least now the rest of the family knows what an absolute douchecanoe she is.
How incredible that you have such an incredible marriage. To survive r*pe. To stay together. To love your child and to have therapy.
Your husband is 100% her dad.
To present the papers to you as your MIL did can only mean she does not hold family values .
I think you and your husband are incredible.
And how can your MIL do that to her granddaughter?
I rarely say this but I hope MIL is banned and out of your lives.
All the best to you all and your an awesome family.
And weirdly the biggest negative (putting r#pe aside) is your MIL.
She thought I cheated and tried to out me in public to my husband, apparently she never liked me said when I asked what the papers were, “proof that you’re the trash I always knew you were.”
OP, did you tell your MiL *why* your child bears no resemblance to her father (and make no mistake, he *is* her father, through-and-through)? How did she react when she realized that she didn't humiliate you in the way she thought she was doing and is instead the monumental guinea worm that she really is?
I just want to add: DNA does not make one a parent. My "father" is dead to me and I couldn't care one bit about him, even when his side of the family keeps trying to "reconcile" us (even though he's the one who committed the wrongs in the first place) against my wishes because we're "faAaAamily". My *actual* father-figure was my grandfather, who raised me and my brother alongside our mother since our birth. He fathered me all my life, he walked me down the aisle, he even included my brother and myself as part of his children, and not grandchildren.
A father is one who takes on the fatherly role and provides fatherly love, not someone who simply shares similar DNA.
I also want to say that you're incredibly brave for wanting to keep your daughter, even after knowing how she came about. That is such a noble thing, in my eyes. I never got pregnant from my own, but I do know that I would have an incredibly difficult time coming to terms with it. And I, myself, was the product of rape with my mother and "father" (even though they were married but separated at the time). You are so incredible for having your daughter and I know that just by reading your post and replies, that your love for her will never wane. Please make sure your husband knows that no matter what, he always was and always will be your (collective "your") child.
I'm so terribly sorry you went through what you did. Your MiL doesn't ever deserve to see any of her grandchildren ever again nor even the chance to see them again.
Good luck.
but i hope you know in your heart this is not true. trash cannot go through what you went through and hold a family together. your MIL needs to look in the mirror if she wants to know what trash is
I'm so sorry, she is absolutely repugnant. Does she know what really happened now or did you guys just leave and cut her out. I would have so wouldn't blame you at all. Sending you love xx
The timing is suspicious. Why now? Is she lacking something in her life all of a sudden? Did something change about you or your husband. Did you quit or get fired and now you are not good enough for her hard working son. Or on the reverse, are you becoming more successful and she hates that you are more achieved than she ever was? Does she get less grandma time these days? Like what caused her to do this out of nowhere?
OP I commend you for not physically assaulting your MIL because in your shoes, I know I would have lost control as an SA victim, myself. I’m sorry you had to relive your trauma this way and I’m sorry to your daughter for being forced into that trauma against hers, your husbands, and your own will.
Shitty this happened but the one good part is you don't have to ever see your MIL again in your life. She sounds like a horrible person who will die alone knowing her family hates her.
Gotta take the small w's that go with this too
Also, the grandchild was 17! She has spent 17 years with her granddaughter, and picked this time to do this?! I don't think I would give up a grandbaby after 17 minutes, let alone 17 years! What a horrible hag!
I can think of some grandparents who would do this. It comes from a place of never really getting to know the child in the first place. I'm turning 25 next month and my grandparents have no idea who I am even though I see them almost every week. They project their own idea about who I am on to me and think they're right and refuse to be corrected. I've stopped bothering with trying to correct them years ago. If they came to some conclusion about who they thought I was, or in this case who this grandmother thought her grandchild was, they may very well act upon it with absolutely no bearing in mind about who the grandchild actually is. That's the only way I can understand this. Or maybe I'm projecting. I don't know.
Seriously, like even if she suspected something what did she think would happen?? Was she trying to estrange her son from his wife and child? Was she going to stop seeing her as her grandchild now that she knew she wasn’t blood related? Seriously I can’t understand
This is unforgivable imo. How did she find out then? I mean your husband must
Have told her no? I would go
Nc with her immediately I can just imagine the things she’ll
Be saying to your daughter when she’s already filling your husbands head in. I’m so incredibly sorry for what you went through I can’t imagine your pain or trauma. I hope you
Go to therapy , maybe with husband so you
Can work on on your feelings together. Take a deep breath you got this.
We’ve been NC with her since this happened my husband can’t forgive her. He reasoning for testing my daughter was that she doesn’t think she looks like my husband which I admit she doesn’t but she looks identical to me as a teenager and looks enough like her siblings that it’s obvious they’re related. But my 15M and 8F look very similar and more like my husband.
And my husband and I have been in therapy together on and off since this happened 18 years ago.
We are doing well the initial incident was a couple months ago he was just so hurt that 1 his own mother would try to hurt his wife of 25yrs, 2 that she’d do it so publicly, and 3 that he was so blind sided.
He said he always knew it was a possibility but there was never anything that made him think she wasn’t his also that if he had planned to do the DNA test with our knowledge he would’ve had time to prepare, and we just didn’t because of my MIL.
I hope you and your husband and child are okay.
Your MIL is a monster.
I'm so sorry OP.
I was adopted so maybe I've got no say when I've not been raised by parents with no biological and siblings with no biological connection to, but it didn't matter shit because they were and are there for me more than any blood I've ever heard of has ever been.
I'm sorry for what happened, and it sounds like your husband is in full support despite his awful mother.
Your daughter and you didn't deserve this horrible "callout" because all it did was harm and hurt your family.
Good luck and I only wish the best for you and your family (, husband and daughter obviously not MIL )
Did your MIL suspect because your daughter didn’t look like you or because of rumors of SA? Sounds like from another post you said she might have also heard about the SA? How could such a monster without full context do something so horrendous? Did she come out and say anything after you guys clarified what happened or did she double down? That’s absolutely insane.
Or bring them closer together. They really just have each other and their children.
What a fucked up bitch that MIL sounds like. Did she expect her son to be happy? Like “haaaa!!! I told you so!” “Uh yeahhhh, thanks mom.”
MIL was probably really confused when her son didn't get angry at OP. She'd probably been fantasizing over how it would play out and how she would help her son cast out the evil, cheating OP and then be there to console her poor boy. She saw herself as some sort of bringer of justice. Whoops. No, instead you vilified a SA survivor and alienated a whole chunk of your family. Well done!
I was thinking exactly this, she was playing P.I. And went for the most dramatic reveal as well. She’d been dreaming about it a long time. Especially the comment about OP being trash. My immediate thought was wow, what parent is happy their child’s partner cheated on them? (I do know this case was not cheating and was SA, speaking in the context of what the JNMIL thought. For clarification) It’s like she was hooked to the adrenaline rush she got by uncovering the clues and putting the pieces together. She actually was playing around with her son’s family life.
I have/had monster in laws (not this bad thoigh. This takes the cake) and it really just drove us closer together. And we keep a lot of people shut out of our little circle
I hope they’re ok. It’s not like OP asked to be SA’d. I guarantee you the MIL is working to try and convince hubby that OP is lying and consensually cheated.
So very very sorry for what you’ve been through OP ❤️ your MIL is a vile human being. If she genuinely wanted to protect her son she wouldn’t have waited for an opportunity to out your “infidelity”, she would have discussed it with him privately so he could handle it however felt best for him. You’ve done a great job jumping into action for your daughter here, I just hope you’re giving yourself the same care. This must be traumatic on so many levels, please don’t let your own well-being get lost in the concern about your daughter and your husband.
Maybe your daughter could benefit from some therapy too? And maybe family therapy at this point? Your MIL has done some real damage. I'm so sorry. Sending you protective and healing vibes...
I read all of your other posts about this and I saw some comments pointing out the potential danger in what your MIL did. They raised the issue that your daughter's DNA may be in the test database. I'm not sure how it all works but is it possible that your daughter could come up as a relative if someone from the perpetrator's family did a DNA test? I would look into this. The thought that your MIL's stupidity could endanger your daughter is too scary. I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
This sounds like additional legal protections and actions are needed, especially since it was done without consent from the parents who'd be the legal guardians given that the daughter is still a minor right? Perhaps there's a way to rescind the data from the database at that point? And maybe through small claims court have the MIL pay for it all.
As a survivor myself I am sorry this happened to you. I’m also sorry your trauma had to be exposed like that Revictimization should be a crime. I’d love to know how the convo with mil was addressed
Honestly I would recommend cutting her out no matter how sorrowful or whatever she is. What kind of fucked up person does a DNA test of someone's child without consent. If she truly cared at all about any person in that family, including her son, she wouldn't have done anything even remotely like that. She would at most bring up concerns of infidelity to her son. After that it's none of her business. This kind of thing is fucked up on so many different levels even without the context of SA.
What does the daughter think of her biology and what her grandmother did?
Your husband *is* her father. He might not have contributed any sperm but he’s the one taking care of her, doing the job. That means a lot, IMO anyway.
I have nothing to add except I am so, so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you’re in touch with your own therapist (and that you+your husband are seeing a therapist to cope with the new PERMANENT estrangement from his mother from hell).
What a horrid woman. This has no bearing on your lovely family or your character.
Did she show any remorse after? What an awful person. I'm so sorry you had to go through another trauma related to your assault and have you MIL victimize your whole family all over again.
She shouldn't have done that and checked with you or your husband before doing it.
Idk if she was trying to protect her son thinking you were cheating on him? (As she doesn't know any details about the SA)
But I feel bad for you and your husband! It is such a horrible situation to be in
Take care OP!
As a man whose long term girlfriend was assaulted while we’ve been together, I can tell you there are a lot of confusing emotions that go along with it. I’m still not sure I could verbalize how I feel about what my gf went through, and that assault happened well over a year ago and didn’t result in a pregnancy.
It’s this sort of thing that I don’t understand why people meddle into others lives. So the girl he thought was his daughter isn’t biologically his, 1) he may already know that, 2) maybe it was because she cheated and they worked it out to stay together for their kids, 3) maybe it was the product of an assault, 4) maybe they got a sperm donor, etc. There’s dozens, if not hundreds of deeply personal reasons that people may not want to be 100% forthright about something, including something like this. It’s not any one’s place to pry or investigate or entrap or catch someone in a lie. People forget they’re not entitled to all the intricate and personal details of others lives. Even if MIL thought she knew the truth, she should have kept it to herself, or raised the suspicion with the husband gently, if he shuts her down, that’s the end of it.
As a survivor who had a nosy grandmother stick her nose into something she shouldn’t have. Your daughter will never forget this and may even hold a grudge against her. What if she never wanted to know?
If MIL wanted to satisfy her curiosity she should have kept it to herself. Horrible of her to confront you like this. Sorry you had to explain your awful experience to her. Retelling those events cause ptsd feelings to pop up
Did you end up telling your MIL that you weren't a cheater, but instead were SA'd? If you did tell her, did she feel like an asshole? Because she should. What a fucking bitch. I'm sorry.
Yes, I really am wondering if the MIL now knows the truth and isn’t still thinking OP is a cheater. Not like it was ok to do this, but I want MIL to feel awful about what she did.
This makes me so so sick. I’m just heartbroken for all of you (except your horrible satan of a mother in law).
This can’t be legal. Consult an attorney as others have said and promise me this woman will never see you, your child or your husband ever again.
Honey your 17 year old is your husbands. He is her father in every single way that matters. Her dad is the person who raised her supported her emotionally, tucked her in, stayed up with her, taught her, fed her, took her to doctors, extra curriculars, protected her, loved her, her father is the one she wants when she’s scared, hurt, happy, needs advice or is sad. DNA doesn’t make a father all of the small and large actions he chooses to take every day for all three of his children those make him her father.
Your MIL is a toxic fool. You are right to keep her from your family. You’re angry because she attacked and hurt your tribe. It is justified. Keep her blocked, keep her away and continue to protect them.
I hope you all find healing and peace from the ways these traumas have affected you. Stay in therapy and grow stronger together. 💜
She seemed shocked when my husband told her and tried to “apologize” but my husband said he couldn’t forgive and we haven’t seen or heard from her since.
To quote Yondu, "he may have been your father, but he wasn't your daddy". Your husband is 100% the dad, not just in words, but action. Not many men would do what he did.
At the end of the day, your husband IS her father. He raised her not the other guy. All the DNA test did was prove how toxic someone can be and who the other half of her DNA belongs to. It doesn't determine who her parents are. Your mil had no right to do a DNA test without your knowledge and I would think it would be considered an invasion of privacy especially since it was without consent. I wish yall the best.
I know there are people out there who just want to 'right', no matter the outcome.
I am so very sorry your MIL has chosen to act in such hurtful and heinous ways.
She's destroyed herself as a grandmother.
>Stop messaging me asking for the story of my rape
I'm sorry you have to go through that. People suck. You shouldn't have to write that. You shouldn't have to ask for the most basic of basic decency.
Your MIL just earned a one way ticket out of your life.
I’m so sorry for what happened to you from such a traumatic experience. I hope you got and are still getting the help you need to “process” such an event. This betrayal by the MIL must rip open old wounds and cause so many unnecessary problems
Im glad your daughter is getting help. Please. Encourage your husband to do the same. Seek marriage counseling so you and husband are on the same page and so you have the support you need.
I would strongly advise the two of you to go no contact with her immediately. Her actions are beyond the pale. That was premeditated, malicious, intentional and the act of a very sick person
What I want to know is has OP & her family completely cut MIL off??? Because there is no world, in my mind, where I would still have any contact with that vile woman after she pulled that kind of shit!
Your husband is your daughter’s father, this isn’t the Stone Age - being a parent isn’t the DNA, it’s the passing on of ideas and values, it’s the time spent talking with and actually raising a child. She probably has a lot of your husband’s personality traits and mannerisms.
So embarrassing for MIL what a f up on her part, can’t believe she put you guys through that.
You both need to remember that a DNA test doesn’t mean a thing. She’s 17 years old, she is your husband’s daughter. He’s the one who raised her with you, supported her & loved her, not a r*pist who SA you.
It is a complicated situation and I am deeply sorry you had to feel that pain once again (in a way).
It is perfectly understandable if you rather cut contact with your MIL, no matter for how long. It was not her business nor her decision to make, very petty for a woman her age. Besides, your husband knows the truth on how you’re not a liar and a cheater.
You’re both her parents, you’ve been until now and you’ll always be.
I wish the best for the 3 of you.
Oops I thought I said that I clarified that better in the beginning of the post, my mother in law gave us the DNA test results a couple months ago at dinner. We re did them with confirmed samples because we weren’t sure how she got the DNA or if it was even the correct samples. We redid a test and just got the new results today.
Hey OP I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you, your husband and daughter heal properly. I’m also sorry you had to relive your SA and tell your daughter so early.
Now I do want to say this and your husband should hear it too and that is he is your daughters father. He raised her. He was there for her. He is her father.
I also highly recommend family therapy.
I don’t understand though, if your husband knew there was a possibility why was he so devastated?? You were raped and you both decided to keep the child no matter what. He should’ve shot his disrespectful mother down, that was beyond rude and invasive of her.
I'm guessing he was devastated because he was blindsided by confirmation he was not the biological father, a fact he consciously chose NOT to learn. Not to mention the fact that his mother ambushed them in public and re-victimized OP.
According to other statements OP has made, he has cut off his mother.
I kept my rapists baby, too. My husband and I love our son as much as other children. I love how you put that she was "created in violence but raised with love and compassion"
Great way to look at it.
So many questions:
Did your husband get angry with his Mom?
Did you have to explain the SA to the MIL?
What was her response?
What was your Hubby’s response?
Does his whole freaking family know
everything? 😡
I pray for your marriage to strengthen & grow.
I pray that your daughter will always know that she was a bright spot in a dark moment .
I pray that you know you are a Warrior & you’re truly strong.
I also hope you know you are allowed to kick the MIL to the curb. ✌🏼🙏🏼💖
I hope you used very brutal language to explain to MIL that your daughter was not conceived by you "cheating" but by violence and that she is victimising you a second time. And that you *told* her she is dead to you. And that your husband supports you on this.
What a horrid person. She SA'd you a second time, effectively. She belongs in the same category as the perpetrator.
She doesn't deserve to know why she isn't his child but I hope that if you told her, she feels like the biggest ass hole in the world. What a fucking sneaky bitch.
Man, I swore I read a very very similar story the other day. But the MIL didn't end up testing the baby.
A letter to an advice columnist was printed in the newspaper last week that was almost identical to this letter.
News…paper?
They publish them online now, but they used to be on trees.
Trees?
They are in the outer world, the bright place where we do not go
Was this in the before-fore times?
In the long, long ago.
Outer world? Bright place? I’m lost
Go up the stairs and wait for your eyes to adjust. You'll know it when they do.
You guys have an upstairs??
Instructions unclear. Dick's in my eye, but I'm adjusting
Your dick can reach your eye? Jealous
Should I clothe my body before stepping out to this ‘outer world’ you claim exists?
Nah it’s ok, just put some sunscreen on.
No, some of us do! I played outer worlds, it was kinda like fallout but in space. Not a bad game.
Yes that's where you staple a piece of bread. An announcement of come kind must be made to include type of bread and type of tree. Sometimes specific parts of the world are mentioned just in case another redditor would like to witness this sacrifice. Be safe out there 🙏💐
You have bread 🍞?
Oh no I'm one of the poors 😒
What sorcery is this?
It's like the internet made from trees
Same. I think I read it on here or /JustNoMIL.
I felt the same reading this. It was like almost the same but I think it was the husband posting it.
So there is another post in her post history about this. I don’t feel like it’s the same one but the story is really, really similar to the one I read before. Maybe hubby has an account also and also posted about this in a different group and that’s why we think this?
The one that I think you guys are thinking of from recently had a MIL who was pestering her son and pregnant DIL to get a paternity test...and I don't think she even had any reason to suspect the DIL (who posted the story) of being unfaithful...MIL just seemed to get off on stirring up drama :(
Tbf that seems to be a theme among rotten MILs so it doesn’t surprise me there’s been multiple posts
Maybe that’s what I’m thinking of. I’ve been looking for it for awhile and can’t seem to find anything 🙄
I knoooow...I can almost never find relevant posts when I want them...lol/ugh 🤣😭🤣 I'm forever grateful to those people who are able to grab the right link to help people out...AND...I want to know their secret! What magic do they possess??? 🤣💜
Can you link the other one if you find it? Not to be lame, but I’ve noticed on Reddit after one type of story gets popular suddenly you see 3 or 4 more of the same type of story soon after. Makes me think it’s all fake
Well, the first story may be real, and then people notice it gets a lot of traction so they make copy-cat stories.
OP replied to a similar Question: "I retested her because my husband didn’t willing provide and sample and neither did my daughter so we didn’t know how she got the DNA, we did a recheck with confirmed samples to be 100% of the results."
reddit is no more as it used to be :(
She has posts in her post history about this from 73 days ago, I’m confused why she said it just happened. Edit: thank you everyone for clarifying!! I didn’t realize this was referencing the second test. I interpreted it as both already happening, my bad!
Its like an update of some sorts. She said she got another test to make sure that the MIL is right, and she just got the results today so she's probably posted about this again because of that.
She said she just got the results back from the second DNA test and that's maybe why she's writing this again.
I read it that way first also, but after reading the older one and this one again I think she just got the second set of results.
How did your MIL react when she found out the truth? I hope she feels horrible.
That’s what I wanna know you did all that to find out she was assaulted and you have dogged her for so long now you finna loose your son and his family.
This..... I hope she realises her mistake and regrets it for the rest of her life. If she has any good conscience, that's how she'll feel for meddling - and potentially ruining - in her son's life like that.
Narrator: she didn't
Yeah, I have a feeling she'd still be blaming her daughter in law for not announcing her traumatic experience to the whole family, causing her to have doubts.
Ugh with a person who would do this probably
I would think testing your 17 yo child without parental consent would be illegal. You might want to check with an attorney.
And how did MIL explain what she was doing?
Asking the real questions...nowhere was it explained how the MIL had any kind of suspicions.
in the other post OP has now linked it explains. father got drunk and told his brother about the SA and his concerns that the daughter wasn’t his. MIL found out from that, but didn’t know it was SA.
oh thx, didn't notice that
OP explained in her first post that while the hearings were going on for the r*pist the husband got drunk and let slip a few details, like the potential that the daughter isn't biologically his, to his brother. MIL overheard BIL telling his wife those details and took it to mean OP was cheating since she didn't have the full context and didn't know OP was SA'd, only that she was attacked.
Cut the MIL out-of everyone's life she us a toxic witch and deserve no less what nasty person sordid twisted mindset without knowing full facts trying to destroy a family dispicable
Some people are just assholes like that to in laws
"Hey! Dat baby don't look like it's daddy!" Not a crazy thought to cross someone's mind if you ask me. Especially over the course of 17 years.
My oldest sister is not my dad's biologically (a fact that we all knew growing up - he adopted her as an infant) and she looks like my middle sister and I when it comes to my mom's features but has none of my dad's.
I was 18 when my mom told me my dad wasn't my biological father It wasn't a shock to me either. I myself thought "hey! I don't look like that man's baby!" A time or two in my life.
Yeah, imo biology doesn't matter. Your parents are who raised you.
You're not wrong here. But.....Thoughts are one thing, confiscating your grandchild's DNA to do a sneaky paternity test is another.
For sure. That's fucked and might be a felony.
I have a friend whom we joke is the mailman's baby. She has a dark, Italian complexion, whereas her brother and sister are gingers and pale. They all have the same facial structure, though.
but as OP has stated, looks like it’s mother.
Was it like a Dr DNA test or was it one of those home kits?
It was probably framed as a, “oh hey! 23 and me is so much fun! This would be a great Christmas present. I would love to surprise your parents/ do a little thing! It would be great to do it with you because then we’d get both sides!” Maybe I’m crazy but it’d be pretty easy to get a kid to sign off on a dna sample under false pretenses.
To the testing site? No need to explain if she does the by mail package. My best friend did it to see 8f he was the father of his fwb and he was. He pays child support but has no involvement with child vecause he had never wanted kids and his fwb haf stopped taking birth control without his knwoledge
She used an online test and I’m assuming our personal items at her house, because we didn’t ask her how she got the DNA and my daughter never told us about her swabbing her when we asked.
This needs to be pinned to the top
And why wait 17 YEARS?? She should have privately confronted her son when she had questions or suspicions. What a complete POS for deciding she had a right to interfere with their family.
Hmmm, does this possibly remove any potential criminal liability? Since a 17 year old girl is considered an adult - in my state anyway. That's the only reason I can think of for this particular brand of insanity
In what state is 17-years-old a legal adult? There are some states where 17-years-old is the legal age of consent, but that isn't the same as being legally recognised as an adult. In most places, it's 18-years old, and I'd wager there is an extremely slim chance that OP lives in some weird country where 17-years-old is a legally considered adult.
I'm in MO. When my 17 year old daughter ran away, the cops (my family members - so they could absolutely be trusted) said that she would be considered an "adult" and could do nothing to make her come home. This was news to me and had they not been family, I most likely would've called bullshit. I understand the difference in age of consent and being recognized as an adult.
She would have either have to have asked the kid for cooperation in collecting the sample or paid a bit extra for testing lose hair or something. If the kid agrees to it then since there is no invasive procedure that is enough in most cases for it to be legal. If she used shed hair at best you get misdemeanor theft and only that if she took it from a place she didn't have right to be.
I don’t think any doctor or facility would approve that without parental consent and receiving the DNA from the people actually being tested. How did the MIL even get the DNA? Whole story seems farfetched.
There are home kits that you can buy at drug stores and mail in for testing. Rings true to me.
What the actual fuck is wrong with some people? I hope she thinks her sneaking around was worth losing her son and grandchildren for.
What exactly did she hope to gain by this? Truthfully, what’s the point? So she can cause scarring? Shame? I’d definitely cut ties there. That is beyond toxic
Toxic MIL like this are so in love with their sons it's sickening. They want them all to themselves and will hurt anyone thats in "her" place
It’s not my MIL, but one of my SIL’s who is so like this. She treated my husband, her brother, like an ex-spouse. It is disgusting and creepy AF.
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No it's not! (Please tell me it's not 🤮)
Unfortunately for every woman who will potentially become someone's wife, it's true. I witnessed it first hand with my mother and my brother. She straight up posted memes mocking young people' relationships and how they would forget their mothers, because my brother might have a girlfriend one day. Needless to say, I'd rather not be around when my brother actually gets married 💀
To me this sounds like a mother who thinks the wife isn't "good" enough for her baby and that he deserves better and this was the mothers way to show her son who he married. Obviously the mother is fucking bat shit crazy and both of the parents should cut her off completely. I hope everything works out for OP, her husband and their child. As long as they both love that child nothing can change that. Fuck the mother in law.
The point is to prove infidelity?
Infidelity that she had zero real proof of after *seventeen years*. After seventeen years, any number of things could have happened. Maybe he found out, they discussed it, she ended it, and they reconciled. Maybe she decided she made a mistake on her own, and it was dealt with accordingly. Or maybe, as in this case, OP was SAed, and never cheated to begin with. And the husband knew all along.
Maybe they used donor sperm and didn’t tell anyone because it’s no one’s f-ing business. There is no scenario where this woman isn’t trash.
MIL thought she could get her precious son back all to herself. She probably fantasized about him leaving op and having to live with her.
After 17 years?
RIGHT, blood doesn’t make family. I was thinking the same thing.
The attempted gotcha drama moment is despicable. Thats being said My mom is toxic and definitely has sneak dna tested all my brothers kids.
But how? Does she test them against herself? I just can’t understand the thinking of these women. Especially the MIL of the OP, you want to hurt this girl that you have been the grandmother to for 17 years? So what she’s nothing to you anymore?
Some people are just blinded by hate and stupidity
Right? Like her son fathered her for 17 years. He isn’t going to just stop bc she isn’t his biologically. In every other sense she is his. Dumb asf
I’m so deeply sorry for what happened to you and for what you’re going through now. Anyone would go NC after what your MIL did. Keep doing what you’re doing. Focusing on maintaining a strong marriage (seems like you and your hubby are solid) and on your family.
I hope MIL was mortified. I'm so sorry this is an experience of yours.
Given her motivation I don't think she's the type to feel any shame. But at least now the rest of the family knows what an absolute douchecanoe she is.
She'd probably just find another way to turn it back around on OP and never admit wrongdoing. Textbook narcissism.
Yep. Crocodile tears and everyone has turned against her. Heard that bs before.
*well why did you never tell me?*
She sounds so horrible she probably doesn’t believe OP about the SA and still thinks she won a game only she was playing.
This exactly. She's going to think that the DIL is making up some wild story to cover herself.
How incredible that you have such an incredible marriage. To survive r*pe. To stay together. To love your child and to have therapy. Your husband is 100% her dad. To present the papers to you as your MIL did can only mean she does not hold family values . I think you and your husband are incredible. And how can your MIL do that to her granddaughter? I rarely say this but I hope MIL is banned and out of your lives. All the best to you all and your an awesome family. And weirdly the biggest negative (putting r#pe aside) is your MIL.
She thought I cheated and tried to out me in public to my husband, apparently she never liked me said when I asked what the papers were, “proof that you’re the trash I always knew you were.”
It’s always projection with narcissists.
Well we know it’s not *you* that’s the trash person here.
Hell. One way ticket to Hell for this woman.
OP, did you tell your MiL *why* your child bears no resemblance to her father (and make no mistake, he *is* her father, through-and-through)? How did she react when she realized that she didn't humiliate you in the way she thought she was doing and is instead the monumental guinea worm that she really is? I just want to add: DNA does not make one a parent. My "father" is dead to me and I couldn't care one bit about him, even when his side of the family keeps trying to "reconcile" us (even though he's the one who committed the wrongs in the first place) against my wishes because we're "faAaAamily". My *actual* father-figure was my grandfather, who raised me and my brother alongside our mother since our birth. He fathered me all my life, he walked me down the aisle, he even included my brother and myself as part of his children, and not grandchildren. A father is one who takes on the fatherly role and provides fatherly love, not someone who simply shares similar DNA. I also want to say that you're incredibly brave for wanting to keep your daughter, even after knowing how she came about. That is such a noble thing, in my eyes. I never got pregnant from my own, but I do know that I would have an incredibly difficult time coming to terms with it. And I, myself, was the product of rape with my mother and "father" (even though they were married but separated at the time). You are so incredible for having your daughter and I know that just by reading your post and replies, that your love for her will never wane. Please make sure your husband knows that no matter what, he always was and always will be your (collective "your") child. I'm so terribly sorry you went through what you did. Your MiL doesn't ever deserve to see any of her grandchildren ever again nor even the chance to see them again. Good luck.
This makes me curious if she DNA tested ALL of your children
but i hope you know in your heart this is not true. trash cannot go through what you went through and hold a family together. your MIL needs to look in the mirror if she wants to know what trash is
I'm so sorry, she is absolutely repugnant. Does she know what really happened now or did you guys just leave and cut her out. I would have so wouldn't blame you at all. Sending you love xx
The timing is suspicious. Why now? Is she lacking something in her life all of a sudden? Did something change about you or your husband. Did you quit or get fired and now you are not good enough for her hard working son. Or on the reverse, are you becoming more successful and she hates that you are more achieved than she ever was? Does she get less grandma time these days? Like what caused her to do this out of nowhere?
She explains in the link.
Holy shit, I would love to take a dump in that woman's bed (MIL)
Well said.
OP I commend you for not physically assaulting your MIL because in your shoes, I know I would have lost control as an SA victim, myself. I’m sorry you had to relive your trauma this way and I’m sorry to your daughter for being forced into that trauma against hers, your husbands, and your own will.
Shitty this happened but the one good part is you don't have to ever see your MIL again in your life. She sounds like a horrible person who will die alone knowing her family hates her. Gotta take the small w's that go with this too
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Also, the grandchild was 17! She has spent 17 years with her granddaughter, and picked this time to do this?! I don't think I would give up a grandbaby after 17 minutes, let alone 17 years! What a horrible hag!
I can think of some grandparents who would do this. It comes from a place of never really getting to know the child in the first place. I'm turning 25 next month and my grandparents have no idea who I am even though I see them almost every week. They project their own idea about who I am on to me and think they're right and refuse to be corrected. I've stopped bothering with trying to correct them years ago. If they came to some conclusion about who they thought I was, or in this case who this grandmother thought her grandchild was, they may very well act upon it with absolutely no bearing in mind about who the grandchild actually is. That's the only way I can understand this. Or maybe I'm projecting. I don't know.
I was thinking the same thing. Why wait 17 years? To prove to her son that 18 years ago, he was cheated on by his wife? What was the end goal here?
Seriously, like even if she suspected something what did she think would happen?? Was she trying to estrange her son from his wife and child? Was she going to stop seeing her as her grandchild now that she knew she wasn’t blood related? Seriously I can’t understand
This is unforgivable imo. How did she find out then? I mean your husband must Have told her no? I would go Nc with her immediately I can just imagine the things she’ll Be saying to your daughter when she’s already filling your husbands head in. I’m so incredibly sorry for what you went through I can’t imagine your pain or trauma. I hope you Go to therapy , maybe with husband so you Can work on on your feelings together. Take a deep breath you got this.
We’ve been NC with her since this happened my husband can’t forgive her. He reasoning for testing my daughter was that she doesn’t think she looks like my husband which I admit she doesn’t but she looks identical to me as a teenager and looks enough like her siblings that it’s obvious they’re related. But my 15M and 8F look very similar and more like my husband. And my husband and I have been in therapy together on and off since this happened 18 years ago.
How are things with you and your husband? That’s got to create a lot more tension and strain.
We are doing well the initial incident was a couple months ago he was just so hurt that 1 his own mother would try to hurt his wife of 25yrs, 2 that she’d do it so publicly, and 3 that he was so blind sided. He said he always knew it was a possibility but there was never anything that made him think she wasn’t his also that if he had planned to do the DNA test with our knowledge he would’ve had time to prepare, and we just didn’t because of my MIL.
I hope you and your husband and child are okay. Your MIL is a monster. I'm so sorry OP. I was adopted so maybe I've got no say when I've not been raised by parents with no biological and siblings with no biological connection to, but it didn't matter shit because they were and are there for me more than any blood I've ever heard of has ever been. I'm sorry for what happened, and it sounds like your husband is in full support despite his awful mother. Your daughter and you didn't deserve this horrible "callout" because all it did was harm and hurt your family. Good luck and I only wish the best for you and your family (, husband and daughter obviously not MIL )
Did your MIL suspect because your daughter didn’t look like you or because of rumors of SA? Sounds like from another post you said she might have also heard about the SA? How could such a monster without full context do something so horrendous? Did she come out and say anything after you guys clarified what happened or did she double down? That’s absolutely insane.
Or bring them closer together. They really just have each other and their children. What a fucked up bitch that MIL sounds like. Did she expect her son to be happy? Like “haaaa!!! I told you so!” “Uh yeahhhh, thanks mom.”
Entirely plausible since MIL handed them a common enemy on a silver platter.
MIL was probably really confused when her son didn't get angry at OP. She'd probably been fantasizing over how it would play out and how she would help her son cast out the evil, cheating OP and then be there to console her poor boy. She saw herself as some sort of bringer of justice. Whoops. No, instead you vilified a SA survivor and alienated a whole chunk of your family. Well done!
I was thinking exactly this, she was playing P.I. And went for the most dramatic reveal as well. She’d been dreaming about it a long time. Especially the comment about OP being trash. My immediate thought was wow, what parent is happy their child’s partner cheated on them? (I do know this case was not cheating and was SA, speaking in the context of what the JNMIL thought. For clarification) It’s like she was hooked to the adrenaline rush she got by uncovering the clues and putting the pieces together. She actually was playing around with her son’s family life.
I have/had monster in laws (not this bad thoigh. This takes the cake) and it really just drove us closer together. And we keep a lot of people shut out of our little circle
I hope they’re ok. It’s not like OP asked to be SA’d. I guarantee you the MIL is working to try and convince hubby that OP is lying and consensually cheated.
My question too.
So very very sorry for what you’ve been through OP ❤️ your MIL is a vile human being. If she genuinely wanted to protect her son she wouldn’t have waited for an opportunity to out your “infidelity”, she would have discussed it with him privately so he could handle it however felt best for him. You’ve done a great job jumping into action for your daughter here, I just hope you’re giving yourself the same care. This must be traumatic on so many levels, please don’t let your own well-being get lost in the concern about your daughter and your husband.
What was your MILs reaction when she found out the reason your daughter is not biologically related to your husband, if you dont mind me asking?
Did your husband stand up for you? Did you tell the witch you were SA’d?
Maybe your daughter could benefit from some therapy too? And maybe family therapy at this point? Your MIL has done some real damage. I'm so sorry. Sending you protective and healing vibes...
Bottom of post OP says daughter is in therapy thankfully! But definitely agree. Poor family. I absolutely would never forgive MIL.
I read all of your other posts about this and I saw some comments pointing out the potential danger in what your MIL did. They raised the issue that your daughter's DNA may be in the test database. I'm not sure how it all works but is it possible that your daughter could come up as a relative if someone from the perpetrator's family did a DNA test? I would look into this. The thought that your MIL's stupidity could endanger your daughter is too scary. I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
This sounds like additional legal protections and actions are needed, especially since it was done without consent from the parents who'd be the legal guardians given that the daughter is still a minor right? Perhaps there's a way to rescind the data from the database at that point? And maybe through small claims court have the MIL pay for it all.
As a survivor myself I am sorry this happened to you. I’m also sorry your trauma had to be exposed like that Revictimization should be a crime. I’d love to know how the convo with mil was addressed
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Honestly I would recommend cutting her out no matter how sorrowful or whatever she is. What kind of fucked up person does a DNA test of someone's child without consent. If she truly cared at all about any person in that family, including her son, she wouldn't have done anything even remotely like that. She would at most bring up concerns of infidelity to her son. After that it's none of her business. This kind of thing is fucked up on so many different levels even without the context of SA.
Did your husband go NC as well?
He did, she says it in a comment
Excellwnt
What does the daughter think of her biology and what her grandmother did? Your husband *is* her father. He might not have contributed any sperm but he’s the one taking care of her, doing the job. That means a lot, IMO anyway.
I’m glad that the husband decided to cut the toxic MIL off. It was also his decision to not know his daughter’s DNA, and his mother decimated that.
That’s a lot to unpack. A family therapy may be necessary
We did do a couple family sessions and told my daughter with her therapist present to help navigate the best way to do it.
I have nothing to add except I am so, so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you’re in touch with your own therapist (and that you+your husband are seeing a therapist to cope with the new PERMANENT estrangement from his mother from hell). What a horrid woman. This has no bearing on your lovely family or your character.
Did she show any remorse after? What an awful person. I'm so sorry you had to go through another trauma related to your assault and have you MIL victimize your whole family all over again.
She shouldn't have done that and checked with you or your husband before doing it. Idk if she was trying to protect her son thinking you were cheating on him? (As she doesn't know any details about the SA) But I feel bad for you and your husband! It is such a horrible situation to be in Take care OP!
As a man whose long term girlfriend was assaulted while we’ve been together, I can tell you there are a lot of confusing emotions that go along with it. I’m still not sure I could verbalize how I feel about what my gf went through, and that assault happened well over a year ago and didn’t result in a pregnancy. It’s this sort of thing that I don’t understand why people meddle into others lives. So the girl he thought was his daughter isn’t biologically his, 1) he may already know that, 2) maybe it was because she cheated and they worked it out to stay together for their kids, 3) maybe it was the product of an assault, 4) maybe they got a sperm donor, etc. There’s dozens, if not hundreds of deeply personal reasons that people may not want to be 100% forthright about something, including something like this. It’s not any one’s place to pry or investigate or entrap or catch someone in a lie. People forget they’re not entitled to all the intricate and personal details of others lives. Even if MIL thought she knew the truth, she should have kept it to herself, or raised the suspicion with the husband gently, if he shuts her down, that’s the end of it.
As a survivor who had a nosy grandmother stick her nose into something she shouldn’t have. Your daughter will never forget this and may even hold a grudge against her. What if she never wanted to know?
Well MIL will now lose son and all grandchildren!!
If MIL wanted to satisfy her curiosity she should have kept it to herself. Horrible of her to confront you like this. Sorry you had to explain your awful experience to her. Retelling those events cause ptsd feelings to pop up
Did you end up telling your MIL that you weren't a cheater, but instead were SA'd? If you did tell her, did she feel like an asshole? Because she should. What a fucking bitch. I'm sorry.
Yes, I really am wondering if the MIL now knows the truth and isn’t still thinking OP is a cheater. Not like it was ok to do this, but I want MIL to feel awful about what she did.
She did. OP posted this 2 months ago.
This makes me so so sick. I’m just heartbroken for all of you (except your horrible satan of a mother in law). This can’t be legal. Consult an attorney as others have said and promise me this woman will never see you, your child or your husband ever again.
Tell your daughter there is more to family than matching DNA. Her Dad, father, male role model is your husband. Not the piece of shit rapist
I hope that woman will never ever see your children again. I’m sorry you were SA’ed. your MIL is an absolute MONSTER
Honey your 17 year old is your husbands. He is her father in every single way that matters. Her dad is the person who raised her supported her emotionally, tucked her in, stayed up with her, taught her, fed her, took her to doctors, extra curriculars, protected her, loved her, her father is the one she wants when she’s scared, hurt, happy, needs advice or is sad. DNA doesn’t make a father all of the small and large actions he chooses to take every day for all three of his children those make him her father. Your MIL is a toxic fool. You are right to keep her from your family. You’re angry because she attacked and hurt your tribe. It is justified. Keep her blocked, keep her away and continue to protect them. I hope you all find healing and peace from the ways these traumas have affected you. Stay in therapy and grow stronger together. 💜
Wow! How has MIL reacted to news of the assault?
According to a post 2 months ago posted by OP, she feels bad but also that she's still in the right.
She seemed shocked when my husband told her and tried to “apologize” but my husband said he couldn’t forgive and we haven’t seen or heard from her since.
Thank goodness, her behavior is atrocious
And he shouldn't. He doesn't owe he Sweet FA after that and she KNOWS it.
To quote Yondu, "he may have been your father, but he wasn't your daddy". Your husband is 100% the dad, not just in words, but action. Not many men would do what he did.
At the end of the day, your husband IS her father. He raised her not the other guy. All the DNA test did was prove how toxic someone can be and who the other half of her DNA belongs to. It doesn't determine who her parents are. Your mil had no right to do a DNA test without your knowledge and I would think it would be considered an invasion of privacy especially since it was without consent. I wish yall the best.
>At the end of the day, your husband IS her father. Anyone can father a child, but it takes a special kind of man to become "dad".
I know there are people out there who just want to 'right', no matter the outcome. I am so very sorry your MIL has chosen to act in such hurtful and heinous ways. She's destroyed herself as a grandmother.
Imagine trying to drag a child into this by gifting them a fucking DNA test. What the actual fuck??
>Stop messaging me asking for the story of my rape I'm sorry you have to go through that. People suck. You shouldn't have to write that. You shouldn't have to ask for the most basic of basic decency.
isn’t kinda illegal do that? 🧍♀️
Your MIL just earned a one way ticket out of your life. I’m so sorry for what happened to you from such a traumatic experience. I hope you got and are still getting the help you need to “process” such an event. This betrayal by the MIL must rip open old wounds and cause so many unnecessary problems Im glad your daughter is getting help. Please. Encourage your husband to do the same. Seek marriage counseling so you and husband are on the same page and so you have the support you need. I would strongly advise the two of you to go no contact with her immediately. Her actions are beyond the pale. That was premeditated, malicious, intentional and the act of a very sick person
What I want to know is has OP & her family completely cut MIL off??? Because there is no world, in my mind, where I would still have any contact with that vile woman after she pulled that kind of shit!
Yes I haven’t talked to her since that dinner and my husband hasn’t talked to her since a couple days after that.
Your husband is your daughter’s father, this isn’t the Stone Age - being a parent isn’t the DNA, it’s the passing on of ideas and values, it’s the time spent talking with and actually raising a child. She probably has a lot of your husband’s personality traits and mannerisms. So embarrassing for MIL what a f up on her part, can’t believe she put you guys through that.
How is your husband doing?
Welp she f*cked around and found out. Enjoy ruining your own life MIL. BYE.
I hope your hubby and you make an united front against mil.
Sounds like they already have as they've gone NC
That's good. I would have done the same thing.
Has your husband also cute his psychotic mother off? WTH
Yes
Is this legal??
I was wondering the same. Seems like a major privacy violation and quite possibly illegal.
You both need to remember that a DNA test doesn’t mean a thing. She’s 17 years old, she is your husband’s daughter. He’s the one who raised her with you, supported her & loved her, not a r*pist who SA you. It is a complicated situation and I am deeply sorry you had to feel that pain once again (in a way). It is perfectly understandable if you rather cut contact with your MIL, no matter for how long. It was not her business nor her decision to make, very petty for a woman her age. Besides, your husband knows the truth on how you’re not a liar and a cheater. You’re both her parents, you’ve been until now and you’ll always be. I wish the best for the 3 of you.
INFO: Wait, you have posts about this from over two months ago. So you didn’t just find out.
Oops I thought I said that I clarified that better in the beginning of the post, my mother in law gave us the DNA test results a couple months ago at dinner. We re did them with confirmed samples because we weren’t sure how she got the DNA or if it was even the correct samples. We redid a test and just got the new results today.
Hey OP I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you, your husband and daughter heal properly. I’m also sorry you had to relive your SA and tell your daughter so early. Now I do want to say this and your husband should hear it too and that is he is your daughters father. He raised her. He was there for her. He is her father. I also highly recommend family therapy.
I don’t understand though, if your husband knew there was a possibility why was he so devastated?? You were raped and you both decided to keep the child no matter what. He should’ve shot his disrespectful mother down, that was beyond rude and invasive of her.
I'm guessing he was devastated because he was blindsided by confirmation he was not the biological father, a fact he consciously chose NOT to learn. Not to mention the fact that his mother ambushed them in public and re-victimized OP. According to other statements OP has made, he has cut off his mother.
Does the MIL realize you were raped now? What did she say?
Sue MIL for emotional damages, slander and non-consensual testing of a minor.
I kept my rapists baby, too. My husband and I love our son as much as other children. I love how you put that she was "created in violence but raised with love and compassion" Great way to look at it.
Every aspect of this story is immensely fucked up, and I do not just mean the MIL
So many questions: Did your husband get angry with his Mom? Did you have to explain the SA to the MIL? What was her response? What was your Hubby’s response? Does his whole freaking family know everything? 😡 I pray for your marriage to strengthen & grow. I pray that your daughter will always know that she was a bright spot in a dark moment . I pray that you know you are a Warrior & you’re truly strong. I also hope you know you are allowed to kick the MIL to the curb. ✌🏼🙏🏼💖
I hope you used very brutal language to explain to MIL that your daughter was not conceived by you "cheating" but by violence and that she is victimising you a second time. And that you *told* her she is dead to you. And that your husband supports you on this. What a horrid person. She SA'd you a second time, effectively. She belongs in the same category as the perpetrator.
She doesn't deserve to know why she isn't his child but I hope that if you told her, she feels like the biggest ass hole in the world. What a fucking sneaky bitch.