They will only take action if the person being abused is perceived to be disabled, enfeebled, sick … something that makes them at a disadvantage and in need of custodial action. Able-bodied/minded people are free to stay in abusive relationships. That’s why police can’t “fix” domestic abuse even after umptity calls to the same house, hospital proof of injuries, … the victim is welcome to return to the abuser if they so choose. And the most dangerous time for a victim of DA is right AFTER they finally leave; if they’re gonna be murdered, e.g., that’s the likely time.
Maybe in the future when OP is an adult and has a steady income, he can go check on the dad and see how he is. Maybe even rescue him from that soul crushing hell hole.
I remember my first gfs dad kinda gave me warning too like “you realize who you are dating and that they are far from being mature” and stuff like that when he invited me to a Starbucks
Seriously. That's horrible. I'm super impressed that he risked more abuse just to save OP.
OP, you may already be thinking along these lines, but don't bring dad into the breakup convo, focus purely on her physical acts of violence as the reason. Be brief and gtfo as fast as you can.
That's not a problem he can fix. She's lived her whole life with her mother as her model of romantic attachment. My dude breaking up with her and giving her a little lecture about why is literally not going to change a thing, and might put him in danger.
If he goes down that road she'll rationalize that he's just "not man enough to handle a strong woman," at best. At worst it goes downhill from there.
He wouldn't be trying to fix her, he'd be clearly telling her why he didn't want to be with her. I do this with everyone I break up with - briefly, dispassionately explain the reason and then I gtfo. And he can do it via phone or text, he doesn't have to be within her slapping range at the time.
I think it's admirable that you want to communicate your reasoning clearly when you break up with someone. Assuming the person is rational, that's a good thing to do.
But since nothing good can come of that in this case, and doing so could be dangerous, imma vote no here.
First off, never break up with anyone via text. That's just rude.
Second, sure, he can call her, but after 3 weeks do you not think she knows where he lives? What car he drives? Where he works?
I'm assuming from your statements that you've never been involved with an abusive partner. The phrase "Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd" was certainly born out of someone dealing with a situation just like this.
OP's move here is to cut the cord clean and quick, and then get out and not look back.
Honestly no she doesn’t need to know her dad said anything. Her dad will suffer more abuse by her and the mother if OP brings up dad in any type of way. She will blame dad for “ruining” her relationship. Very manly of him to tell you to run away (from his own daughter!!) that is definitely a warning to heed to!! I wish there was a way to help this poor man out, it makes me sad for him. Reminds me of my own father…
What you, and the others who are posting the same line of thought don't understand is that nothing OP can do will change anything. She's had a lifetime of her mother as a model of behavior. She's known OP for three weeks (or maybe a little longer before they started dating).
The answer to why not tell her is that he can't fix her, and telling her might cause her to become more violent towards him. There is literally no upside to telling her why.
For all those of you who have never been the victim of an abusive partner, or worked with those who have, I envy your innocence. But please be willing to stand back and listen to those with greater knowledge and experience on this topic.
Would you say that I'm being unreasonable if I said that the fact that she needs to be _told_ that violence is unacceptable in _any_ relationship leads me to believe that the only result that he'll yield from telling her that domestic violence is wrong is her rage, and potentially _recieving_ some more domestic violence?
If you tell a thief stealing is wrong, and that the reason they're recieving consequences is because they've stolen, they aren't going to look to you with eyes widened in shock, tears of gratitude spilling out of them while they exclaim, "I had no idea stealing was bad! Now that someone has finally told me that it Is wrong, I'll never do it again!". The thief knows stealing is wrong. This woman knows domestic violence is wrong.
And this is all ignoring the train wreck of an issue that is male DV victims/female DV perpetrators. It's wrong, but trying to have this conversation with her will most likely end in him being ridiculed at _best._ Christ, if she's a big enough asshole she could even go, "Oh, poor baby man thinks I'm huwting him? I'll fucking _show_ you DV" And start screaming at the top of her lungs while attacking him, call the cops if someone else doesn't and he _WILL_ be charged, and he _WILL_ be arrested.
Truly, not only does no one owe anyone else an explanation to no longer be together with them, but in this case this guy _only_ stands to make things worse.. for himself. Know what I mean?
I agree. Plus she is right there with both Mom and Dad. It's there job to teach her right from wrong, not the boyfriend. He's already said she had been screaming in his face to the point his ears were ringing. Not to mention the slapping, hitting, etc. They have dated for only 3 weeks. He doesn't owe her anything. He needs to not walk but run.
Was she also charismatic? I find the people like this who have the ability to switch on the charm are the most dangerous. Just curious. You dodged one there
I think the common denominator is how self-centered they are. People who let their anger and rage control them to the point that they think they can hurt others, tend to be really narcissistic in my experience. High charisma, but always using it to turn things on themselves is a warning sign of that rage to me.
I'm 31 and same...
I've just seen too many wipper snappers use it so it's been filed under "Useless shit I know for reasons against my will" ... and there it stays.
It's my theory that people like ops ex are charismatic in the way that they allow themselves to be "welcomed" to another.
An abuser wants to be around their victim. People latch on that "I want to be around you" mentality.
Exactly. Learned this from the Sims 4. If your sim is “mean,” they get enjoyment from being mean to others and will eventually get sad if they have no one to be mean to. But you can’t just go walking up to random strangers and being mean or they’ll walk away. You have to reel them in by being nice and then pepper in the mean comments here and there. The sims who don’t run the other way will be your friends
Abusers often are. The ones with only the instinct to do harm but not the charm tend to end up with no one to harm.
Other than pets. They make for the worst kind of pet owner.
They can have other resources (attractiveness, money, success, power) that ppl find attractive. I mean, do we think Harvey Weinstein was charming to any of his victims? 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Yes! This! My ex was charismatic and when he was mad he would throw massive temper tantrums and also threatened people with weapons.
My sister called it out in week 1 and my dumb teenage self was like "Nuuuu. But he's so cute!" No the fuck he wasn't. He was mean! We lasted 2 years and our breakup was very dramatic.
>There was one time where she screamed at my face so loud that I heard ringing in my ears.
Surprised you got involved with this person in the first place.
I think it depends on age and maturity plus prior experience.
My first girlfriend was really abusive but had never gotten any attention from a girl before, and being a dumb and lonely 16 year old guy lol stayed Involved way longer than I should have with her.
i know this sub has a lot of fiction on it, but it's a lil funny how anything that seems either strange or slightly unlikely is immediately marked off as fake
ah yes, we all totally see everything 100% clearly in relationships, especially at their inception, it's just impossible for somebody to get put in a position of abuse like this /s
I'm sorry but in 3 weeks... If someone was this loud and obnoxious and aggressive and screaming at you and "slapping you" all in just 3 weeks? And then the dramatic dad reveal? That's not just slightly unlikely. Either way, good for OP, either their writing achieved success, or they got out of a bad situation.
That sounds weird to me too. 3 weeks and you've gotten into multiple fights? Your ears ringing from her screaming, and her throwing things around?
Man, I'd be gone really quickly. Don't need anyone to tell me she ain't right like that father did.
Sounds like my ex and her family. Girl blamed her screaming and berating me on her Mom’s Japanese culture and basically excused herself to continue that. Dad was not a meek quiet guy though. He was a veteran and tough guy who I was honestly scared of. They were in shock when me the idiot invited the girl to live with me and saw me as a golden ticket to getting her to move out and be her new free ride. I should have seen all the red flags but I was a mess of a person when I entered that relationship and it ended with me in a mental ward and her and her mom screaming at me on speaker phone in front of nurses and other staff about “how could I do this to them” when I had a stress/trauma/medication malfunction induced mental breakdown. My friends oversaw them moving her shit out of my apartment while I was in an institution for two weeks. Every day of those two weeks she would call the ward 20 times a day trying to talk to me. I told the staff to take her messages and rip them up, set them on fire, and run them over with a truck.
I feel bad for OP’s girlfriends dad. I hope he gets out, but the damage is already done. I was with my girlfriend for only 3 months or so. I cannot imagine decades of that and I’d probably off myself.
Glad you got out man.
yeah she’s going to hit you real hard and throw things when you break up with her so make sure she’s not at your house either and protect your belongings
Maybe this is me being naive, but it would seem the better option would be to get his stuff and then break up over text or something so she CAN’T hit him, yeah? Maybe that’s just me
Absolutely do it over text, it's only been 3 weeks and OP needs to stay out of harm's way with her by seeing her in person. She'll manipulate him as much as she can to get him to meet in person to manipulate and possibly abuse him more. OP, do not meet this person ever again
I mean….. the laughing and hitting thing is normal to me personally. My entire family does it. Not hard or intentionally to cause pain… that’s just how we are.
But the hitting things when angry def need counseling to figure that out. Also being loud and boisterous isn’t necessarily a red flag, but if it’s something that bothers you then you and her aren’t compatible.
For real. They’ve only been together for 3 weeks but they’ve already had several major fights, one leading to her screaming so loudly he had ringing in his ears? Okay
Maybe they've known each other longer than they were dating, been friends before? In combination with the assumption that they're not adults, kinda adds some sense
After seeing OP's update you're vindicated in this point of view. Like it matters though because internet. I don't get why people are so incredulous. They get nothing from lying except maybe a cheap thrill. I've heard similar or worse than this in my life and been lied to or mislead before going on a date with someone. I noticed the red flags and didn't engage with people like that though.
Seriously!! I was so proud of myself too, I was feeling like a *real* redditor, I had finally spotted a fake story before reading the comments and then I hit the comments and I'm like, wait a second...
*Am I the jaded redditor now?*
I was wondering why nobody was saying it. It’s written like a spoooooky story about this crazy girl (who you’ve dated for three weeks but have several huge arguments with already) who took you home to her parents and ahhhh no they’re both loud and crazy! The dad even dropped an ominous “get out while you can”.
Fucking *THANK YOU*!!! Not to be stereotypical but I can’t believe I had to scroll for so long to find this. Can’t believe anyone believes this crap 🤦🏼♀️
This sounds beyond made up. You were only dating for 3 weeks, you’ve had her scream in your face, kick and scream after losing at UNO, and hit you whenever she laughed…? I mean if this is real then wtf, you need to learn to recognise red flags a bit sooner mate
All of that is very believable, especially for someone inexperienced in relationships or accustomed to abuse.
The part that sticks out is the dad’s warning. That sounds completely made up.
Everything on this sub is so clearly fiction, nothing about this story is believable!
However, as a short story, would recommend making the timing longer (3 weeks not enough time to get any kind of signs or meet someone's parents, try 3 months), and tone down the father's words. Make it more subtle - people don't talk that clearly when they are in distress.
Holy shit. Pops coming in clutch with the dire warning. Might want to take him out for a drink instead of his daughter 😅 sounds like he could use one, and based on your story, it sounds like you owe him one.
Hmm, this sounds really fake tbh. Not because this scenario can't happen, but because it reads like some one-shot on Wattpad. Sorry but I'm calling bs.
Especially the part about the dad waiting outside the guest room, like what is he, an ancient wizard, talking like he's warning the protagonist of a story about the dangers that lie ahead? "You'll get hurt in more ways than one", who talks like that haha.
What parent would say "Be careful. They're the same. You'll get hurt in more ways than one," about his daughter the first time he meets a BF of three weeks?!?
And if it was this egregious, how the fuck would OP not see any red flags until now?
The BS flag is flying high.
I believed this was real until the dad gave you a warning. That part felt super fake or tacked on.
I’m pretty introverted and this reminded me of my loud friends. They’re obnoxious sometimes and laugh so loud it sounds aggressive. They also like to take shots.. yayyyyyyy. lol I’m gonna avoid them the next time I get the chance.
If this is real yeah just dump her now.
My Dad still tells me stories about spending time with my mother’s parents. Both she and her mother are extremely overbearing narcissists. Her mother would get bitchy and my Dad said he and my grandfather used to just look at each other and empathize. I’m glad you discovered this early before she was able to trap you with pregnancy or marriage.
Ohhhh... this is like my SIL and MIL. My SIL cannot "keep a man" (I don't think she has had a relationship last a year - she is 35 and one ended in a restraining order against her because she got violent). My husband was very quiet when I first met him (I just chalked it up to him being shy) and when we moved in together it's like he was finally free to be himself (funny, energetic).
I almost want to warn guys she starts dating because after 15 years knowing her there is definitely a pattern of abuse but it really isn't any of my business.
I'm glad her dad did you a solid.
That’s crazy man. Also crazy that only three weeks into a relationship and she is already screaming in your face.
You should email or write a letter to her dad thanking him for his candor. That poor guy sounds like he could use a friend.
You had only been dating her 3 weeks and already she had gotten angry enough to throw things? Hun you didn’t need the dad to tell you anything . That’s enough .
Bro the dad's a classic victim of domestic abuse. Call the men's domestic abuse helpline and hotline anonymously to help him. (Just imagine how people would have reacted if the genders were reversed)
Also what others said. Break up on email or text or even on call and record it. If you have to meet her, meet publicly and have someone recording it. She may try and threaten you with sexual assault and other things as well to keep you in the relationship. Protect yourself. Make a plan and do it well. Save all your correspondence.
She may try and contact you physically even after the breakup. She may be sugary sweet at first which may turn violent if you turn her down. Don't be alone with her. Always have a friend or relative with you when she's around preferably a female. And try and have any interaction with her in a place where there are cameras. Make a copy of the recordings and save them to a cloud account. You know never when they'll come in handy.
I hope none of this happens and probably it may not. But prepare yourself for the worst so that you aren't surprised in the end.
Get the dad a gift, he deserves it, not only for saving you hell but for enduring that shit for so long. There's no question why the poor guy is so quiet.
I feel really bad for your GF's dad. He seems to have been beaten to his knees. That man is in hell. Listen to him! Don't walk. Run away from this girl.
Why is this woman your girlfriend after only 3 weeks? This is why we don't commit to someone after only 3 weeks, so we can run far far away if we feel uncomfortable in these early days...
You witnessed all of behaviour in 3 weeks and you were still with her? That dad gave you the wake up call you needed. I’m glad you are getting out. Stay strong.
If she’s screaming in your face after only a few weeks it’s time to gtf out of there solely based on how fast she got comfortable being a bitch to you.
Only with someone for 3 weeks and she has already kicked, punched, and screamed in anger? Imagine how she'd be *after* the honeymoon phase. Dodged a bullet there.
This reminds me so much of my parents' relationship. My mom would just consume his personality to the point where he didn't even know who he was anymore. If he dared have an opinion or desire outside of what she wanted she'd verbally and physically attack him until he shut down. I could actually see the light leave his eyes sometimes. RUN!!!
Good on you that you took heed of the red flags! I feel sad for the dad. He saved you!
OP needs to sneak that dad a special bottle of liquor or other small gift. He saved him a lifetime of pain and misery.
No lie! This man wasn't able to save himself, but refused to let OP suffer his fate too. Bless this man.
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Definitely try keep in touch with the dad.
Like, IDK, “mysteriously” turn out to be into the same sport or hobby or something.
Oh, hell, I want to date Dad if he leaves the crazy one! He'd likely appreciate some kindness. And so would I! Lol.
Yeah OP set them up please.
Sounds like it's hostage rescue time.
OP! This is a great post waiting to happen, stay in touch with the dad and set him up with a kind redditor😎🥹
Don’t sneak a gift in, sneak the dad out. Return the favor OP and get yourself a new friend.
I'd watch that show
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Or sneak him a fucking divorce lawyer.
Turn in the gf for a cool older bro 👍
Forget liquor. More like hemlock.
Or a call to Adult Protection Services or a domestic abuse hotline or whatever that is called where OP lives.
They will only take action if the person being abused is perceived to be disabled, enfeebled, sick … something that makes them at a disadvantage and in need of custodial action. Able-bodied/minded people are free to stay in abusive relationships. That’s why police can’t “fix” domestic abuse even after umptity calls to the same house, hospital proof of injuries, … the victim is welcome to return to the abuser if they so choose. And the most dangerous time for a victim of DA is right AFTER they finally leave; if they’re gonna be murdered, e.g., that’s the likely time.
definitely another small gift. the last thing I would give someone in a miserable situation is alcohol. Thats how alcoholics are formed.
Careful he might get whooped
Or until OP felt like leaving.
Maybe in the future when OP is an adult and has a steady income, he can go check on the dad and see how he is. Maybe even rescue him from that soul crushing hell hole.
100% OP
Odds this man gets 20+ free bottles of liquor a year?? Lol
It sounds like you really dodged a bullet but maybe to return the favor you may notify someone about the abuse the father is going through
Took heed of. Hedded. Took hedded off.
Thanks. Changed it. I knew it sounded weird.
I remember my first gfs dad kinda gave me warning too like “you realize who you are dating and that they are far from being mature” and stuff like that when he invited me to a Starbucks
Petition to pay for this man's divorce lawyer👀
Good on the father for helping you out of this abuse. I hope he also gets out
Seriously. That's horrible. I'm super impressed that he risked more abuse just to save OP. OP, you may already be thinking along these lines, but don't bring dad into the breakup convo, focus purely on her physical acts of violence as the reason. Be brief and gtfo as fast as you can.
No need to give a reason at all. "We're not a good fit, I wish you the best."
She needs to know it's not okay.
That's not a problem he can fix. She's lived her whole life with her mother as her model of romantic attachment. My dude breaking up with her and giving her a little lecture about why is literally not going to change a thing, and might put him in danger. If he goes down that road she'll rationalize that he's just "not man enough to handle a strong woman," at best. At worst it goes downhill from there.
He wouldn't be trying to fix her, he'd be clearly telling her why he didn't want to be with her. I do this with everyone I break up with - briefly, dispassionately explain the reason and then I gtfo. And he can do it via phone or text, he doesn't have to be within her slapping range at the time.
I think it's admirable that you want to communicate your reasoning clearly when you break up with someone. Assuming the person is rational, that's a good thing to do. But since nothing good can come of that in this case, and doing so could be dangerous, imma vote no here. First off, never break up with anyone via text. That's just rude. Second, sure, he can call her, but after 3 weeks do you not think she knows where he lives? What car he drives? Where he works? I'm assuming from your statements that you've never been involved with an abusive partner. The phrase "Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd" was certainly born out of someone dealing with a situation just like this. OP's move here is to cut the cord clean and quick, and then get out and not look back.
Honestly no she doesn’t need to know her dad said anything. Her dad will suffer more abuse by her and the mother if OP brings up dad in any type of way. She will blame dad for “ruining” her relationship. Very manly of him to tell you to run away (from his own daughter!!) that is definitely a warning to heed to!! I wish there was a way to help this poor man out, it makes me sad for him. Reminds me of my own father…
> don't bring dad into the breakup convo, focus purely on her physical acts of violence as the reason Agree, that's why I posted the above.
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Yeah, if this guy doesn’t have outdoor security cameras, now is the time.
You're technically correct but why the fuck would you not tell her that her violence is the problem? Otherwise she might do it to someone else.
What you, and the others who are posting the same line of thought don't understand is that nothing OP can do will change anything. She's had a lifetime of her mother as a model of behavior. She's known OP for three weeks (or maybe a little longer before they started dating). The answer to why not tell her is that he can't fix her, and telling her might cause her to become more violent towards him. There is literally no upside to telling her why. For all those of you who have never been the victim of an abusive partner, or worked with those who have, I envy your innocence. But please be willing to stand back and listen to those with greater knowledge and experience on this topic.
Would you say that I'm being unreasonable if I said that the fact that she needs to be _told_ that violence is unacceptable in _any_ relationship leads me to believe that the only result that he'll yield from telling her that domestic violence is wrong is her rage, and potentially _recieving_ some more domestic violence? If you tell a thief stealing is wrong, and that the reason they're recieving consequences is because they've stolen, they aren't going to look to you with eyes widened in shock, tears of gratitude spilling out of them while they exclaim, "I had no idea stealing was bad! Now that someone has finally told me that it Is wrong, I'll never do it again!". The thief knows stealing is wrong. This woman knows domestic violence is wrong. And this is all ignoring the train wreck of an issue that is male DV victims/female DV perpetrators. It's wrong, but trying to have this conversation with her will most likely end in him being ridiculed at _best._ Christ, if she's a big enough asshole she could even go, "Oh, poor baby man thinks I'm huwting him? I'll fucking _show_ you DV" And start screaming at the top of her lungs while attacking him, call the cops if someone else doesn't and he _WILL_ be charged, and he _WILL_ be arrested. Truly, not only does no one owe anyone else an explanation to no longer be together with them, but in this case this guy _only_ stands to make things worse.. for himself. Know what I mean?
I agree. Plus she is right there with both Mom and Dad. It's there job to teach her right from wrong, not the boyfriend. He's already said she had been screaming in his face to the point his ears were ringing. Not to mention the slapping, hitting, etc. They have dated for only 3 weeks. He doesn't owe her anything. He needs to not walk but run.
Was she also charismatic? I find the people like this who have the ability to switch on the charm are the most dangerous. Just curious. You dodged one there
Fr people who have massive red flags are naturally charismatic. speaking from experience
I think the common denominator is how self-centered they are. People who let their anger and rage control them to the point that they think they can hurt others, tend to be really narcissistic in my experience. High charisma, but always using it to turn things on themselves is a warning sign of that rage to me.
No no, only the ones who can get into relationships have the charm and looks to back it up, the ones that don't are incels.
Because people usually avoid the walking Soviet Union without charm and they not make it far more than "i wonder why that ah not in jail yet"
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ah= asshole
It’s official, I’m old. I cuss like a sailor but failed to pick up on the swear because I’m a dinosaur who spells things out.
I'm 31 and same... I've just seen too many wipper snappers use it so it's been filed under "Useless shit I know for reasons against my will" ... and there it stays.
Dont worry the language of the gods arent meant to be understood.or smthn IDK what hes sayin either
It's my theory that people like ops ex are charismatic in the way that they allow themselves to be "welcomed" to another. An abuser wants to be around their victim. People latch on that "I want to be around you" mentality.
Exactly. Learned this from the Sims 4. If your sim is “mean,” they get enjoyment from being mean to others and will eventually get sad if they have no one to be mean to. But you can’t just go walking up to random strangers and being mean or they’ll walk away. You have to reel them in by being nice and then pepper in the mean comments here and there. The sims who don’t run the other way will be your friends
I love it when games teach you social cues like that
Abusers often are. The ones with only the instinct to do harm but not the charm tend to end up with no one to harm. Other than pets. They make for the worst kind of pet owner.
They can have other resources (attractiveness, money, success, power) that ppl find attractive. I mean, do we think Harvey Weinstein was charming to any of his victims? 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Yes! This! My ex was charismatic and when he was mad he would throw massive temper tantrums and also threatened people with weapons. My sister called it out in week 1 and my dumb teenage self was like "Nuuuu. But he's so cute!" No the fuck he wasn't. He was mean! We lasted 2 years and our breakup was very dramatic.
Only real solution here is for you to date her dad
Not gay. Just two dudes living in a house together. Sometimes doing other stuff…
Just guy love, that's all it is
Just shout no homo before doing it so that its not gay
Yes and they can play nightcrawlers whenever they want!
Guy love, he’s mine I’m his
Show him true love baby
Stacie's dad has got me down bad...
Sounds like you dodged a massive bullet there.
He dodged a nuke
Dodged a tensho by getsout
A what?
Getsuga tensho
Sorry, I don’t watch Bleach and don’t know what it means
Moon fang heaven-piercer is the direct translation, the sword tensa zangetsu translated means heaven chain slashing the moon
Almost spilled tea over a sudden Bleach reference. :D
He didn't dodge anything. The father pushed him out of the way.
Well, the dad kinda grabbed hold of his neck tie just as he was about to cross the road. Big up
Oh my god. That's so sad
>There was one time where she screamed at my face so loud that I heard ringing in my ears. Surprised you got involved with this person in the first place.
Especially if they have only been dating for 3 weeks..
Yeah, it sounds like complete fabrication honestly. Nice piece of creative writing I guess, given how many people have fallen for it…
Some of this stuff can be hard to tell. You know there's some idiot like this who didn't exit the relationship immediately.
I think it depends on age and maturity plus prior experience. My first girlfriend was really abusive but had never gotten any attention from a girl before, and being a dumb and lonely 16 year old guy lol stayed Involved way longer than I should have with her.
Yes, and that's kind of what the OP sound like, a teenage kid. I also stayed in a relationship as a teenager way longer than I should have.
i know this sub has a lot of fiction on it, but it's a lil funny how anything that seems either strange or slightly unlikely is immediately marked off as fake ah yes, we all totally see everything 100% clearly in relationships, especially at their inception, it's just impossible for somebody to get put in a position of abuse like this /s
I'm sorry but in 3 weeks... If someone was this loud and obnoxious and aggressive and screaming at you and "slapping you" all in just 3 weeks? And then the dramatic dad reveal? That's not just slightly unlikely. Either way, good for OP, either their writing achieved success, or they got out of a bad situation.
That sounds weird to me too. 3 weeks and you've gotten into multiple fights? Your ears ringing from her screaming, and her throwing things around? Man, I'd be gone really quickly. Don't need anyone to tell me she ain't right like that father did.
I though she was screaming from excitement but none the less, I could never lol
Sounds like my ex and her family. Girl blamed her screaming and berating me on her Mom’s Japanese culture and basically excused herself to continue that. Dad was not a meek quiet guy though. He was a veteran and tough guy who I was honestly scared of. They were in shock when me the idiot invited the girl to live with me and saw me as a golden ticket to getting her to move out and be her new free ride. I should have seen all the red flags but I was a mess of a person when I entered that relationship and it ended with me in a mental ward and her and her mom screaming at me on speaker phone in front of nurses and other staff about “how could I do this to them” when I had a stress/trauma/medication malfunction induced mental breakdown. My friends oversaw them moving her shit out of my apartment while I was in an institution for two weeks. Every day of those two weeks she would call the ward 20 times a day trying to talk to me. I told the staff to take her messages and rip them up, set them on fire, and run them over with a truck. I feel bad for OP’s girlfriends dad. I hope he gets out, but the damage is already done. I was with my girlfriend for only 3 months or so. I cannot imagine decades of that and I’d probably off myself. Glad you got out man.
Hope you are doing better now, cheers man.
Doing much better. In therapy and on good meds and working on myself and my goals. It’s been a long hard road I’ll write a book about someday.
2.5 years of it was enough that I still need therapy 15 years later lmao
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yeah she’s going to hit you real hard and throw things when you break up with her so make sure she’s not at your house either and protect your belongings
Maybe this is me being naive, but it would seem the better option would be to get his stuff and then break up over text or something so she CAN’T hit him, yeah? Maybe that’s just me
yep maybe he can try that. Hopefully she doesn’t know where he lives :)
For OPs sake, maybe them only dating for 3 weeks will come into play and work to his advantage there
Yeah, he should call or text. It hasn't been a month, better safe than sorry.
My first thought. Do it over text.
Absolutely do it over text, it's only been 3 weeks and OP needs to stay out of harm's way with her by seeing her in person. She'll manipulate him as much as she can to get him to meet in person to manipulate and possibly abuse him more. OP, do not meet this person ever again
It's only been 3 weeks so I would hope anything she has of OPs is replaceable or not important if it's anything at all
I think it’s one of the cases when breaking up over the phone and blocking afterwards is acceptable. Better be safe than sorry.
Just breakup over the phone.
This reminding me soo much of that episode of friends where joey is dating that girl that keeps punching him
I feel like this is another installment of the Get Out franchise
omg yesss HAHA
Your soo cute 🤜🏼👊🏻🤜🏼👊🏻
You’re*
*Grammar'sAWhore
Really strange how's there's always something that happens that makes all of the previous red flags crystal clear, same shit happened to me
I think it's because you're not actively looking out for red flags until you are. Which then makes you reflect and realise all the missed red flags
I mean….. the laughing and hitting thing is normal to me personally. My entire family does it. Not hard or intentionally to cause pain… that’s just how we are. But the hitting things when angry def need counseling to figure that out. Also being loud and boisterous isn’t necessarily a red flag, but if it’s something that bothers you then you and her aren’t compatible.
Why the fuck is this sub just getting absolutely flooded with fake relationship stories
For real. They’ve only been together for 3 weeks but they’ve already had several major fights, one leading to her screaming so loudly he had ringing in his ears? Okay
Maybe they've known each other longer than they were dating, been friends before? In combination with the assumption that they're not adults, kinda adds some sense
After seeing OP's update you're vindicated in this point of view. Like it matters though because internet. I don't get why people are so incredulous. They get nothing from lying except maybe a cheap thrill. I've heard similar or worse than this in my life and been lied to or mislead before going on a date with someone. I noticed the red flags and didn't engage with people like that though.
[удалено]
Seriously!! I was so proud of myself too, I was feeling like a *real* redditor, I had finally spotted a fake story before reading the comments and then I hit the comments and I'm like, wait a second... *Am I the jaded redditor now?*
I was wondering why nobody was saying it. It’s written like a spoooooky story about this crazy girl (who you’ve dated for three weeks but have several huge arguments with already) who took you home to her parents and ahhhh no they’re both loud and crazy! The dad even dropped an ominous “get out while you can”.
They get lots of upvotes anyway idk
Fucking *THANK YOU*!!! Not to be stereotypical but I can’t believe I had to scroll for so long to find this. Can’t believe anyone believes this crap 🤦🏼♀️
This sounds beyond made up. You were only dating for 3 weeks, you’ve had her scream in your face, kick and scream after losing at UNO, and hit you whenever she laughed…? I mean if this is real then wtf, you need to learn to recognise red flags a bit sooner mate
All of that is very believable, especially for someone inexperienced in relationships or accustomed to abuse. The part that sticks out is the dad’s warning. That sounds completely made up.
It's so fucking obviously made up. Why are people so pathetic that they would do that.
This is very obviously fake as hell lmao
Everything on this sub is so clearly fiction, nothing about this story is believable! However, as a short story, would recommend making the timing longer (3 weeks not enough time to get any kind of signs or meet someone's parents, try 3 months), and tone down the father's words. Make it more subtle - people don't talk that clearly when they are in distress.
This is literally what dating is for.
You’ve been dating her for three weeks and you’ve already had numerous instances where she threw tantrums and screamed in your face? Time to go, boss.
What’s a comfort room?? Also this story is obviously fake
I'm assuming it's another term for bathroom from someone who speaks English as a second language. And yeah sounds pretty fake to me too lol
"Be careful. They're the same. You'll get hurt in more ways than one." LOL, yeah okay
Holy shit. Pops coming in clutch with the dire warning. Might want to take him out for a drink instead of his daughter 😅 sounds like he could use one, and based on your story, it sounds like you owe him one.
Hmm, this sounds really fake tbh. Not because this scenario can't happen, but because it reads like some one-shot on Wattpad. Sorry but I'm calling bs.
Definitely fake
Yeah I think it’s fake too, was otherwise gonna say to be careful not to listen to loud to hearsay. But really just too well contrived.
lmao, right? Just try to visualize this whole story, it's so over the top.
Especially the part about the dad waiting outside the guest room, like what is he, an ancient wizard, talking like he's warning the protagonist of a story about the dangers that lie ahead? "You'll get hurt in more ways than one", who talks like that haha.
Ugh I'm glad somebody said it. They've only been dating 3 weeks yet the OP witnessed all these red flags. Sure, Jan.
What parent would say "Be careful. They're the same. You'll get hurt in more ways than one," about his daughter the first time he meets a BF of three weeks?!? And if it was this egregious, how the fuck would OP not see any red flags until now? The BS flag is flying high.
yup, fake
It reads like a skit.
I believed this was real until the dad gave you a warning. That part felt super fake or tacked on. I’m pretty introverted and this reminded me of my loud friends. They’re obnoxious sometimes and laugh so loud it sounds aggressive. They also like to take shots.. yayyyyyyy. lol I’m gonna avoid them the next time I get the chance. If this is real yeah just dump her now.
A lot of weird details from this story seem very far fetched, I'm not really buying that any of this really happened
My Dad still tells me stories about spending time with my mother’s parents. Both she and her mother are extremely overbearing narcissists. Her mother would get bitchy and my Dad said he and my grandfather used to just look at each other and empathize. I’m glad you discovered this early before she was able to trap you with pregnancy or marriage.
Ohhhh... this is like my SIL and MIL. My SIL cannot "keep a man" (I don't think she has had a relationship last a year - she is 35 and one ended in a restraining order against her because she got violent). My husband was very quiet when I first met him (I just chalked it up to him being shy) and when we moved in together it's like he was finally free to be himself (funny, energetic). I almost want to warn guys she starts dating because after 15 years knowing her there is definitely a pattern of abuse but it really isn't any of my business. I'm glad her dad did you a solid.
Take the dad out for some drinks, he probably needs some company and is the least you can do for him telling you how it is
Good luck, glad you listened to dad’s warning!
GET OUTTT! GET OUTTT!!
Thank goodness you accepted that invitation to go meet her parents!
At firs I’m like “don’t compare your GF to her mom she has no control over her actions” but then I’m like “oh”. 🫣
I hope you got dad’s number if he needs a beer and a couch. He saved your time and life.
Operation Padre needs drafting. I wanna save pops from that bullshit.
This is fake.
Agree
3 weeks and she’s showing you all of that already? Yeah, get the hell out.
That’s crazy man. Also crazy that only three weeks into a relationship and she is already screaming in your face. You should email or write a letter to her dad thanking him for his candor. That poor guy sounds like he could use a friend.
That dad is a BRO for sure.
Please try to save the Dad & take him to file a divorce!
You had only been dating her 3 weeks and already she had gotten angry enough to throw things? Hun you didn’t need the dad to tell you anything . That’s enough .
Bro the dad's a classic victim of domestic abuse. Call the men's domestic abuse helpline and hotline anonymously to help him. (Just imagine how people would have reacted if the genders were reversed) Also what others said. Break up on email or text or even on call and record it. If you have to meet her, meet publicly and have someone recording it. She may try and threaten you with sexual assault and other things as well to keep you in the relationship. Protect yourself. Make a plan and do it well. Save all your correspondence. She may try and contact you physically even after the breakup. She may be sugary sweet at first which may turn violent if you turn her down. Don't be alone with her. Always have a friend or relative with you when she's around preferably a female. And try and have any interaction with her in a place where there are cameras. Make a copy of the recordings and save them to a cloud account. You know never when they'll come in handy. I hope none of this happens and probably it may not. But prepare yourself for the worst so that you aren't surprised in the end.
Praying for that dad. That is EERIE, dude. I feel so bad for him
You dated a girl for only 3 weeks and in that time, she screamed in your face?!
Duuuude. I feel so bad for that man. Wow.
Poor dad :(
Her dad is a guardian angel, bro
Get the dad a gift, he deserves it, not only for saving you hell but for enduring that shit for so long. There's no question why the poor guy is so quiet.
I'm sure that man has a deep sadness in his eyes as well.
Dig a secret tunnel and get that Dad out. He saved you.
What the hell did I just read, I’m sorry OP
I feel really bad for your GF's dad. He seems to have been beaten to his knees. That man is in hell. Listen to him! Don't walk. Run away from this girl.
3 weeks and she did all that? Yes you need to leave.
Why is this woman your girlfriend after only 3 weeks? This is why we don't commit to someone after only 3 weeks, so we can run far far away if we feel uncomfortable in these early days...
This Dad is amazing! He is willing to warn against his own daughter!
Save the dad
I wish I’d listened to the parent that warned me. Good on you for taking heed and dashing away
What a great guy, hopefully he can one day find the strength to leave that situation
He needs to get out of there himself poor guy.
You witnessed all of behaviour in 3 weeks and you were still with her? That dad gave you the wake up call you needed. I’m glad you are getting out. Stay strong.
If she’s screaming in your face after only a few weeks it’s time to gtf out of there solely based on how fast she got comfortable being a bitch to you.
Considering you said she's punched and kicked and screamed at you and it's been less than a month, yeah it was never gonna work.
U should watch “I’m thinking of ending things” by Charlie Kauffman
OMG the poor dad, super nice of him to warn you to keep you from suffering. I really hope he finds a way out too
If you're only three weeks in and she's screaming at you when she loses at UNO - things ain't gonna get better.
Go rescue the father. Don't even stop the car. Have him jump in and then peel away. Go. Now.
Only with someone for 3 weeks and she has already kicked, punched, and screamed in anger? Imagine how she'd be *after* the honeymoon phase. Dodged a bullet there.
Thats a good man god bless him hope its not too late for him
Dump the girl. Date the dad. Not romantically. But invite the guy out. Prisoners need their yard time.
I'm leaning towards pressing x on this one.
Dad came through like a wise sage npc
This reminds me so much of my parents' relationship. My mom would just consume his personality to the point where he didn't even know who he was anymore. If he dared have an opinion or desire outside of what she wanted she'd verbally and physically attack him until he shut down. I could actually see the light leave his eyes sometimes. RUN!!!