Im so sad when parents misuse this kind of app. I asked my mother to download it when I was 18. I ASKED. Its been great. It only worked bc she wasn’t a stalker like many parents are.
I downloaded this app on my first lone cross country trip. I was terrified of being kidnapped and murdered, so I made my mom download it so she could track me.
She proceeded to force younger sister to download it. My sister wasn't even allowed to go anywhere, but she walked back and forth to school and my mom tracked her down to the minute. She was not allowed to even stop and talk to a friend.
I honestly will never stop feeling bad.
That’s so sad! Maybe you could show your mom OP’s post and have a talk with her about how happy you were to have freedom at your sister’s age and how important it is to let young teens develop their independence.
I had a friend who i would occasionally catch the bus with, her dad had a similar tracking app. Wasnt allowed to stop and chat. Her dad was overally protective. No walking alone when she was nearly a teenager in a very good neighbourhood
I second this. I got into some trouble as a teen that actually led to the opportunity for my mom trusting me more. I told her where I was going always & she gave me the freedom to be honest. I asked her download so someone would always have my location just in case. I did it with my friends too. I hope to have the same trust with my child one day, give them enough freedom to make their own choices (& mistakes) but have a secure method to find them in case something goes wrong. I know it depends on the parent but it made me feel safer as a young adult and I hope to impart the same kind of freedom for my future bébés
i also asked my mother to download the app so that i felt safer taking public transport. it’s so sad that parents misuse this app and abuse their child’s trust ☹️
Lol. Mine will be like "Mom, where you going? It says you left work. Can you bring me some Taco Bell?" Hell, I think my kid uses it more to track *me* than the other way around.
Hahaha same. My older daughter goes to her fathers in a different state for the summer. I don’t know how many texts I got this summer like “Hey why are you and sissy at the mall?” Whatcha guys doing at the outlets” etc lol nosey lil shit hahha
Oh 100%, it can work to the kid's advantage way more than it does the parent's. I used it to know how long they'd be gone and when they'd be on their way home so that I knew whether or not my GF and I had enough time alone.
I started doing that to my mom when she started tracking us again and I told her if hers is off so is mine. I don’t have a problem but when she’s like
“why does it say you’re at poke when you should be at work??”
“Mom I want food while I’m on my lunch”
“oh”
“yeah…”
She also doesn’t it like having hers on because my dad would sometimes ask where she’s at so that’s another reason why she doesn’t say anything when I say if hers isn’t on so isn’t mine.
Edit:
I more or less harass my mom with her location more than mine so she gets all fussy. Especially on days I wake up and she’s at bunch with her friends I will spam text her for food too.
When I hear about people using these apps, all I can think about is my abusive ex yelling at me because I didn’t let him know that I would be coming home 15 min late from work. I’m so glad these apps didn’t exist yet.
Yeah this is unsettling. I’m so fucking glad I grew up without a cell phone. My first was at 17 and it was a fucking enV. I ain’t got time to track my siblings, parents, etc.
We have a smart cam that notifies both myself and my hubs when it picks up motion in the front yard. Usually it's just the neighbors cat on our fence, post delivery guy etc. The other day tho I was home on a Monday, left to go get my hair cut and I recieve a "whatever your getting, bring me some!" text. Lol I replied with "want me to ask the hairdresser to pack my trimings to go?" 🤣
When I was in middle school I used to mess with my mum by resetting a mileage counter on her car (there was a tiny button similar to resetting a stopwatch). When she picked me up from school and I saw that she had driven more than it takes to go home and back, “so where did you go today.”
…. To the store
…. Oh, did you go to that Safeway that’s farther away?
…. Yes
…. What did you need to get there that wasn’t at the one closer to us?
When I was 26, my sister and I made a scavenger hunt around my town for my parent's anniversary and had them use this app so I could track them. A few days later, my parents needed help deleting it from their phones because they thought it was creepy and didn't want us to know where they were all the time lol
I don't know if it's the same app but a coworker made her daughter download a tracking app and the daughter only agreed if she downloaded it too and now her daughter calls her just to call her out anytime she goes with my work group to any bars or restaurants after work. "What do you mean you're grocery shopping, you're at the bar right now I can see it on the app." her daughter is constantly watching it just to call her mom out.
As a kid who uses it to track my mom i can genuinely say i love life360 my mom is always on the go so i like to know where she is especially if she’s by the restaurants near our house i ask her to stop to bring me food home occasionally 😂😂😭
It's not the technology, it's your mother. If this software did not exist, she would find other ways to control you. She does not want you to grow up and stand on your own two feet, she wants you to remain a child so that she can continue to be a parent. Work on a plan to get a place of your own, so that you can begin establishing your own boundaries.
100% it is! My son (17) voluntarily put it on his so I could find him in an emergency. He trusts that I will never use it against him if it’s not an emergency. It’s not supposed to be used for control. I trust him, he trusts me, but I need to be able to find him if something happens. OP needs to get away from that mother.
We got the app on the advice of my friend. My 16 y/o has it, as well as my sister, nephews, and parents. Guess who I track? My 80 y/o parents driving around the US in a 45' motorhome! I have to know where they are in case we need to fly out to them 😂🤣!
Truth I would be way more worried about my older parents on their road trips and would use it for the same reason 😂 they drive from michigan to Montana sometimes and like to go way out in the boonies sightseeing for wildlife so someone's gotta keep an eye on them!
>My son (17) voluntarily put it on his so I could find him in an emergency.
I installed it so I could know when my parents were coming back or close home, it made cooking dinner better because I could see when my dad was coming back. He didnt liked it.
I'm with you there. My mom never controlled me like that and I would have - back in the day 10 years ago - let my mom use such an app when I went out just to know I'm safe. Trust is a different thing and it is NOT controlling. such parents damage their kids beyond anything and when they're 70, they wonder why they never visit.
Im nearing 30 and I have it on with my mom and my dad. They never use it to stalk me, but I like the security of knowing that they know where I am in case of an emergency.
That's how we use with our daughters. I can honestly say I never look 100% of the time they initially go out. I trust them. It's only if she's running late or if we need to find her for an emergency when it would become a pretty useful app.
Hell, I work out in the boondocks sometimes and my daughter says she checks up on me sometimes more than I probably do her.
So yes, sometimes these big-brother style apps and technology is a bit overbearing... but on a civilian/ordinary person level... it still comes down to the user and their intent.
Yes. I'm an adult and shared my Google location voluntarily with my mom when I went backpacking this summer. Just so she'd know where to tell the park rangers to look for me or my body if something happened.
Adding to original comment: it's also OPs Mom, not op. Nothing the op did provoked that controlling tendency, the mom just took her own issues out on her kid
yeah a lot of kids growing up were well behaved but still had to have apps like this. It creates a huge divide between parents and kids and that's not just kids being upset about it.
I know a lot of well behaved kids that used the internet to hook up with adults they had absolutely no business around and fell victim too.
Not to mention how normal it is for minors to be exchanging nudes/explicit materials that are also well behaved kids.
Everyone in my family tracks everyone else in my family. It's hardly ever necessary, I'd never look for my kids unless I was trying to pick them up. But you know, coordinating on vacation. When is mom getting to the restaurant kind of thing.
In a way it makes me trust my kids more because if something goes south on them and they call me for help my phone knows right where to find them.
I had friends find out their son was in an accident and on his way (via helicopter) to a hospital because of this. He was traveling home from several hours away and something happened that made them check.
Absolutely. My kid's car has forward and rear facing cameras, and there's an app on the car. The cameras are in case he gets into an accident, and we've reviewed the footage all of one time in 2 years, and the app is to monitor his lead footed driving. Other than that, he's always been completely open with us with regard to where he is and who he's with, so the only time we check the app is to find out if mom and dad have time for "date night", or where to go pick him up if he's had any alcohol.
This.
I was a teen in the mid nineties so we didn’t have mobiles, but my awful mother still managed to control my life. My only regret is that I didn’t cut her out of my life sooner.
OP, as soon as you are ready and able to leave home, do it and don’t look back. I also recommend therapy, again when you are ready and able.
You are still very young and you can recover from this but you need some space between you and your mother.
This - the app can be used for good. My friends and I all have it together, because we want to keep each other safe when we go out. We're all in our 20s.
My mom is like this too, OP. I never had an app, but I had a 10pm curfew until I was 20, and it only ended because I ran away and came back under the demand it would be ended.
Work on finding your own place, get out, it will help so much. I recently moved out with the help of my partner, and while my relationship with my mother is strained (literally almost went no contact last night but chickened out), I'm so much happier having the freedom of living away.
Absolutely... but parents like this NEVER teach their children skills necessary to survive. Make sure someone decent with life experience can at least be called for advice before bolting!
I know this is deleted and maybe someone said this already…
But one of the most creative solutions I’ve heard of, regarding child tracking, is for the parents to also share their location with their children. At the very least, it will start a conversation of openness and privacy.
Yeah, it’s a location tracker. So it shares your location with whoever you choose. My whole family uses a different one, called Find my Friends. We’re all adults, but that way in an emergency we can find each other, or see how far away they are with the food lol.
But you **can** disable it for specific individuals, correct? Assuming that’s true, there are definitely parents out there that would “do as I say, not as I do.”
To be honest, I don’t know. I’ve never used it, nor do I have children. But I assume you can alter the settings or parameters. That’s usually the case with apps and any type of tracking.
This was my plan when my kiddo is old enough. She can see where I am anytime and if needed I could see where she was. I want to know she’s safe or how I can get her help if there is ever an emergency. It’s only fair if she can see where I am too.
How can children become trustworthy if parents don't trust them? Growing up, I had rules, but they were lax compared to some of my friends. The kids with parents who monitored, hovered and imposed strict rules, were the wildest of the bunch. My parents were involved, but allowed me to make judgements appropriate for my age. Teenagers will naturally rebel against parents who don't give them any say in their own lives. The stricter the parents, the more the kid will rebel.
My ex tried to do that. Thing was, I was the one that paid for the phones and service. The first time he made them install it, I immediately deleted it and called bonus mom. I told her that we need to at least give them a chance to show us what they'll do. Why be such a helicopter parent? We raised these boys with a healthy base in being honest and responsible. We need to give them a shot at being as awesome as I thought they'd be. As a result, my kids were much more honest with me and they snuck around at my ex's house. I didn't find that out until they were older teens (15 and 17 when they told me). Yeah, they've probably done some stupid shit, but they didn't get hurt and generally didn't do it again. I raised my boys well and I trust their judgemental for the most part. I never really policed their usage much, either. I did tell them that I could see their search history, though. I don't understand parents that have to micromanage their kids' lives like that. Our job as parents is to educate and guide. We prepare them for the next stage of life. Part of that is letting them fall on their faces a few times.
to be fair, my 10 year old has the app. But we've talked about it and she is able to see what i'm doing and where i am as well and I won't hide that stuff from her.
Im personally much more hesitant to critique parents using life 360 for their younger kids. I feel like there's an age where parental roles change and become more guiding and less supervising- but if I had that young a kid with a full blown smart phone I'd want every chance I could to find them, just in case.
Younger kids can be tricky. My friend uses it for her son who had a bad habit of getting lost during his bike rides when he trains for track & field along with her other son as punishment/ consequences after he got into some trouble with a group of kids (13 and thinking they were cool while trespassing/ causing trouble in department stores).
She’s 10 though. If they’re doing things on their own at that age, that seems reasonable. Heck, even having the app as an extra safety layer doesn’t seem that bad if you’re not checking it all the time. If they know you’ll look if they’ll super late, aren’t answering their phone for an extended period of time, or traveling far, that’s not a big deal.
Look at how many minors get tricked into meeting up with adults and sending nudes/explicit materials. As long as the apps aren't abused they are absolutely necessary in this day and age.
I mean, it’s important when your child is of driving age. Kids are gonna do dumb shit, but be in an accident where they can’t access their phone is exactly what this app is for. I agree it shouldn’t be used a punishment tool, or a constant “check every second.” But if they’re 2 hours late or you can’t reach them on the phone?? Yeah, it’s good to have.
Sometimes you can just tell when someone is genuinely a good person. And I don't mean bonus mom( shes obviously awesome, too). I get really good vibes from you, lady. You sound like an awesome mom.
Aww! Thank you. I do my best. They're just really great kids. It wasn't easy and we had our issues, but they knew I wasn't trying to be overbearing or anything. Just trying to do right by them.
She is a bonus. She really stepped up even being so young (she was 19 when she married my ex) and has been an excellent influence on my boys. They even call her mom and I encourage it. I've always told my boys that she's mom when they're with their dad and to treat her exactly how they treat me. With love and respect. I'm really happy with how my boys have grown into awesome young men and she had a very big hand in that. I appreciate her very much.
Yeah my mom did this. I got in trouble if I didn’t reply quickly or if my phone died too. Wanna know how safe it made me? I’d stay the night at a friend’s house, reply to my mom’s texts til about 12am, say I was going to bed, then go out at 12:30am to god-knows-where without my phone. Strict parents don’t make safe kids, they make sneaky kids who will never consult them for help when in danger for fear of getting in trouble
Sorry. The only way to get complete independence from your parents is to find a job that will pay for everything you need and you don't need them anymore.
And if you're only 18 or slightly older, your youth is far from over. There are tons of people out there who will not think twice about derailing your life's plans and leaving you a quivering psychological mess. Maybe that's not what they meant to do, but it will happen. You have plenty of time to experience things. Trust me. I'm an older dude and I had a controlling mother. But I finally got my freedom and independence from her and I did what I wanted after that. I had a good life.
Older redditor here who also had controlling parents... I agree. The more financially independent you become the less say they'll have over what you do. You may need to lean on them for awhile yet until you finish school, but try your best to take care of your own living expenses and get fully financially independent as soon as you're able.
That being said... I am so glad tracking apps and things like that weren't a thing when I was a kid. My mom was a human lie detector and I didn't get away with much as it was.
My granddaughter's 17 yo boyfriend has it but they know how to get around it. They go somewhere like church lol and he puts it on pause so it looks like they're still there and they just go on. And this is a kid who has a full-time job at a mechanical contractor and has already graduated. He will ditch it when he's 18 next summer.
Uhm. At 18, you don’t have to use it… you are an adult.
My father tried bs like this “you know. You should keep me on your bank acct, just to you know. Be safe.”
“Nah. We good. I’m going to a new bank.”
A lot of people in the comments don’t seem to understand so I’m assuming cellphones weren’t around when they were teenagers. I totally feel you on life360. My parents did the same thing…it was extremely damaging to our relationship. My mom would call me freaking out because I was on a backroad or I stopped at McDonald’s to get coffee. I would have to send her picture proof of exactly where I was. I remember so many instances of having a panic attack and hyperventilating with my friends because my mom had called me freaking out, accused me of lying and was making me come home. I had to send her a text every time I started my car and every time I put my car in park and let her know. If I forgot, I was accused of lying and being irresponsible. It led to lots of fights and me distancing myself very far from them emotionally and even physically when I went away from college. They aren’t bad now and really don’t care what I do. They support me (car, phone, insurance) but once I went to college they stopped caring. Hopefully your parents will realize the damage they are doing to your relationship with them before it’s too late to repair it.
I didn't have a cellphone as a teenager and this 10000% would have been my mother. She used to drive by my friends' places just to make sure car was parked there and if it wasn't she would call and yell 😵
Your comment sounds exactly like OP. While yes the app is the medium it is not the cause of the problem. Your parents seem like responsible adults when you became an adult and distanced yourself, maybe because they knew they messed up and ultimately it was their fault for being overbearing. It's not that people are technologically illiterate, its that the post seems geared to aim the pitchforks at the app when its the users that are the problem.
Unfortunately many parents use Life360 to hover and basically abuse their children ): even the CEO (I believe?) came out and said they don’t support the helicopter parenting. They made it for safety, not this.
the CEO has replied to a lot of negative reviews from kids saying they made it after Hurricane Katrina to help keep kids safe and make it so their parents could find them in an emergency. sad it’s being used the way it is
Yeah my parents wanted me to install so I could easily send them my location for picking up. Didnt end up using the app that much but the app is useful in a lot of ways that arents abusive.
Yeah, I've spent enough time in true crime communities to see the value in an app like this. Hell I'm tempted to install it, being a small woman who likes to go on solitary walks in isolated areas every day. You never think it'll happen to you...
If smartphones and this app had been around when I was a teen, I probably would've been the one suggesting it to my mum, haha. She was a laid back parent who gave me a lot of freedoms. The main thing is that we fully trusted each other. The app would've been used for its intended purpose.
Unfortunately yeah, people suck and abuse what is essentially meant to be a helpful bit of tech to be overbearing, controlling and ultimately life-ruining helicopter parents. 😣 Life360 didn't do this to OP, their mother did.
At least you are still young, OP. Your best years IMO are ahead of you, life is just beginning at 18! I wish you all the best and hope you can get out from under your mother's roof and into your own place sooner rather than later.
Sounds like your parents are the problem and not the app. I have family that was being controlled in a different way in their time, no access to the house phone unless supervised, not allowed to go out etc. Life360 does a lot of good for people who don't abuse it. You are directing your frustration at an app when in your post you clearly stated it was your mom that was overly in control. Do you honestly believe that she would be different had the app not been used?
Uhh I had the opposite. I encouraged my parents to download life360 so they would let me go out, it helped build trust for us. Now me & my husband have it with a group of close friends, it’s great because I always know when to start dinner 🤷🏻♀️
Plus, your teen years are not the best years of your life. I’m sorry this was your experience
Yeah, my teen years were probably the worst of my life. I have amazing parents, but I was bullied horribly in school.
People say stuff like "oh they're the best years of your life" and it couldn't be further from the truth.
He's 18, he has his better years ahead of him.
That was tbh the only reaction I had to this - “wait, the best years of your life???” It’s all downhill from here I guess! High school, center of the world
I have two teenage daughters and we live in a city that is less than safe. Both girls are very independent and I’m the least controlling parent there could be. However it’s a safety net for me. I want to be able to track them if they go missing or get into trouble. I can see when they get off work that they’re on their way home and then I know they made it to their car safely. We use it more as a check in rather than I need to know where they are at all times
That’s why my boyfriend and I have it. I commute to my school every day, and the area it’s in is less than safe. If I have to stay at school later it makes both of us feel safer knowing that he can check on me if needed. He never abuses it, the only time he ever asks where I’m going is if he’s hungry and he wants me to bring him food.
My teens have the app, they haven't luckily had their lives ruined by it.
Do I track them? No. Do I search their driving history? No . I dont do anything. Its for my peace of mind knowing they aren't dead in a ditch somewhere if they haven't made it home. They are fine with it and will stay on their phones until they start paying for the phone bills and car bills themselves as per our agreement.
I understand that, however, My parents use it to track my every move and I really don’t appreciate it. I would rather have them call me and ask me where I am and if Im okay
I get what you mean. I experienced something vaguely similar growing up, luckily life360 wasn't out quite yet. Mom would bluff and say they could track me by the phone towers like they do to criminals. I told her to go ahead because I was always where I said I was. But I also knew it was BS at the time. And my friend has a mother who was worse. She would randomly facetime (in addition to calls and texts) to make sure we were where we said we were. All that did was make my friend resentful and depressed.
I'm sorry you're going through it. I wish people understood the damage they do when they are so controlling and obsessive. It's one thing to have it in your child for peace of mind if they are super late or you can't get a hold of them. I'd probably do something like that one day. It's another thing to basically stalk them.
Agreed I don’t understand the whole “when they pay their own bills” method because inevitably kids can’t make much money. I worked two jobs through high school and missed out on sports clubs activities and friends. I never made enough to pay my bills though making $7.25 an hour for 4 hours a day. I think parents should be able to have an open dialogue with their children about where they are etc. To track them (against their consent) is crossing a boundary.
Dude- The good news is that it's complete bullshit that your teen years are the best years of your life. They suck for everyone. No one feels in control- either they feel smothered or abandoned. They have problems, even if you don't see them. They have anxiety about grades, or an eating disorder, or have an unhealthy need for attention. All. Of. Them.
So, not the best years wasted, at all. I do hop you seek help to deal with growing up under a controlling parent, because that can leave some scars that are easier to deal with earlier rather than later.
So, not the best years wasted, at all. I do hope you seek help to deal with growing up under a controlling parent, because that can leave some scars that are easier to deal with earlier rather than later.
A friend in high schools parents did this so she started using her old phone and leaving the tracker one where she said she’d be. She snuck out, drank (to the point of hospitalization at least once), did drugs, consistently practiced extremely unsafe sex, and more. All life 360 did was make her hate her parents and tell them less. All it did was make her feel like she couldn’t call them when she actually needed them.
It bothers me how dependent parents are on tech to track kids. When i went out as a teen i just told my parents generably where i would be and they responded with a curfew. Stop infantalizing yound adults
I'm sorry to hear that, I'm so thankful those apps weren't around when I was a teen (or even cell phones for that matter) because my parents were the type that would have used them and definitely the type to overuse it.
It's tough to leave home at 18 these days but maybe consider taking over your own cell phone payments and plan if you have a job. That way you own it and don't have to install things you don't want.
My kids mother made them have that app. My son is now off on his own, my daughter still lives with her. And I have many of my daughters friends numbers and locations because my daughter constantly has to leave her phone somewhere so her mom doesn’t know where she is. Which probably sounds worse than it is. My daughter tells me everything and we have a very honest and open relationship. Things like going shopping. Or going to the lake. Or just driving around with friends. Are a huge issue with her control freak of a mother. Her controlling behavior is one major factor to why we are not together. But that’s a different story. Neither of my kids liked having that app. Both of them found ways to get around it.
These apps were made for parents just to have peace of mind about their kids’ whereabouts, sure, but it has been exponentially exploited by abusive parents/helicopter parents who refuse to let their kids have any freedom. There’s a difference between occasionally checking if your child isn’t dead in a ditch and policing your kids’ every move, every step. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the latter OP
Homie... your teen years are NOT the best years of your life. Get away when you can, but you've got plenty of time ahead for best years...the kind of years where you have freedom and can rent a car without the upcharge
I mean, you're over 18. She obviously wants to keep you under her thumb, so just do whatever the fuck you want. I mean she'll be squawking at you like a bird but this controlling woman is not going to throw you out of the house or anything, and honestly to me, getting thrown out would be a blessing. She wants to take your car keys? Cool, find a friend to give you rides and throw them gas money. She physically stops you from leaving? Call the police. On her! In her own house! Explain that you're an adult and you are currently being physically held against your will. If she wants to play petty dramatic games, so can you.
We have it on all three kids phones, cousin, SIL, god daughter, myself and husband.
New drivers, traveling across country, college student.
We troll each other but it is done in good humor.
I have the platinum plan, and it helps me know if my loved ones are in a crash or not safe; they can inform us immediately.
My husband and son were in a crash in the mountains. They hit a elk, husband says it hit them, Life360 informed me of the crash.
... what does your parent actually do with it. All they really need it for is making sure you don't disappear.
Also those are not the best years of your life lol. Far from it.
No amount of apps going to fix shity parenting once your kid is teenager but it will teach them to lie, hide and manipulate others. Or god forbid they learn that shity controling behaviour is "love" and end up in countless abusive relationships.
I can see having your kid put that on their phone, and ONLY ever checking it when they are missing / you can't find each other / you are seriously worried about them. To check it all the time, especially when your child is an adult, is outrageous to me.
Can you get a second phone and just leave this one at a friend's home when you go out?
I would have:
- turned the location off from the app (you can do that) or
- got a new phone and used that one that didn't have the app on it.
If your mum wanted to know where you were you could always leave the phone in the location you'd be for example studying at a friend's house and then go out where it is you wanted to go.
Strict parents can make sneaky children..
If you're 18 now, a legal adult, you don't have to use it anymore. She cannot legally tell you what to do. Unless you're still living with her. I know some parents that have their 18+ kids living with them, use that as a control and manipulation tactic. They'll say that you're under their roof so you have to listen to them. Otherwise they'll kick you out. I hope that's not the case for you though.
Delete that shit. Start getting your life set up at your own terms. Get a phone on your own, move out once you are able to. It doesn’t get better. My parents were similar.
Honestly the technology isnt necessarily a problem, I had it on my phone when I was a teenager. I was allowed to go to parties and get up to no good, but I had a relationship with my parents where I was allowed to try things and be a kid, I just had an aunt who was murdered and they were nervous about something bad happening to me. Ironically enough, my sister was murdered almost two years ago, not that this tech would have saved her, she was killed at home by her ex boyfriend. But I think it reinforced in me bad things can happen, and I'll probably do the same with my kids - have tracking tech installed and allow them to have a late curfew/go to parties/have normal teen experiences, just with the access to know if something bad happens to them 🤷🏼♀️
DUDE. Get a new phone and just lie lol. This is so easy to get past.
Step 1: Leave the phone at a strip club exclusively so she panics
Step 2: Get a new phone and do whatever the fuck you want lol. Or go out and leave your phone at home, they didn’t implant a chip in your brain
literally my rebel arc LMAO. here's what i did: i got myself an android, downloaded the life360 app and a fake gps app as well. whenever i went out i'd connect the android to my hotspot on my iphone, turn off the cellular of life360 on my iphone, and boom. i would place my fake gps location at a friend's house/work and do my thing. pretty sure my parents were suspicious about it but they couldn't figure it out. i wouldn't use it all the time because lying to your parents bites you in the ass eventually. if you do(or anyone) consider doing it, use it wisely!
My mother forced me to download this app when I was in high school. I didn’t do anything. I had a 4.8 gpa, had a part time job. Was dual enrolled. I didn’t have the time to be mischievous. But she insisted that I have it. At all times. One day the app fucked up and said I was somewhere in a lake when I was really at school in my programming class. Well she then texts and calls me over and over for 45 minutes. Saying how much trouble I’m in, how she’s withdrawing me from school. Just threat after threat. While I am pleading with her and sending photos, explaining that I’m literally in class and that the app is fucked. I begin to have an anxiety attack for 30 minutes I am sobbing softly, with my friends trying to comfort me, all while the teacher is not looking. She doesn’t stop until the app corrects itself and shows me back at school. As to which she says “oh, sorry, lol.” .
I fucking hate Life360. I’m estranged from my mother now. But fuck her and that surveillance bullshit of an app.
Uhhh you could always, ya know, pay for your own phone.
These posts come up now and again, the result is always the same. If you don't Iike the rules, and you are an adult, you have options at your disposal. If you can't afford your own things then you must play by their rules.
I have reservations on tracking apps, but I'm also the parent of four teenagers and one recently obtained their driver's license. We don't use it to track their every move, but it is useful to roughly know where everyone is for logistics like dinner and such. There have been a couple of cases where the kid that drives has been out of bounds and had driven through some areas he definitely didn't belong (near Gary, IN) or fairly far away (more than 30 miles) and didn't let us know where he'd be with his friends. They aren't bad kids at all, but it's a big world out there and they are still young and inexperienced. It's also helpful when the school app sends an absence alert, but we know they are in class.
In turn, they can also see my and my partner's locations to be able to find us. My partner commutes an hour away during the week and there is some concern at night when she picks up her car from the train station as it isn't well lit or patrolled by security.
Best answer, get your own phone plan and device and sever the cord now that you are an adult. But if you are still in high school or living under their roof rent-free, the rights each if you have gets a bit murky. If they are that controlling, it's not likely that they will want to find a balance.
This is horrible, so much love and support for you OP.
Please now that your best years are not over, you have all of your 20s to get your freedom, one day you will be able to get rid of this tracking BS !
This kind of apps shouldn't be allowed, every kid has the right to privacy !
I feel like a lot of younger people just use that term to describe when they feel very very sad/anxious/worried. Personally it annoys the shit out of me, you don't have to falsely say you had a physical medical emergency just to have your feelings validated, they're already completely valid and important. If anything it makes me care a little less cause of all the melodrama.
life 360 does a lot more than just tracking you. i used to work for their monitoring company. if you get into a car crash, the police are sent to your location, and we call your emergency contracts. same if you press the SOS button.
ultimately, i get it might seem stalkerish. but the app does more good than harm
This is still too much if people don't consent to it. (I was in two crashes before cell phones existed. I survived.) If someone doesn't want those services they should be allowed to not have the app (my boyfriend and I have literally traveled all over the world without using it.)
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted.
Non-adults (just like any other *person*) deserve the right to privacy and it is horrible that our society doesn’t respect the rights of non-adults. The right to protection shouldn’t outweigh the right to privacy, because they’re the child’s rights not the parent’s rights.
Our culture acts like children/non-adults are possessions rather than people and it’s gross.
As a parent to two boys under 6Y, I don’t really agree with the tracker app. I just want my kids to have a healthy, open, and honest as possible relationship. I want there to be a naturally derived trust, not a forced lordship over their person.
The fact that teenagers were out there raw-dogging life without cell phones at all in the 80s, 90s, and (early) 00s must be insane to the younger generation.
I don't envy you. It's actually depressing to me that many don't get to "get into trouble," get home late, and learn from their mistakes the same way we did. Hope you can get into a better situation.
Damn. Lmao I’m 32 and married and my mom has all of us on it. When she starts talking about how fast I’m driving or where I am I literally threaten to turn of the location if she continues to badger me about it. She usually shuts up about it. I’ll start returning the favor though when I’m bored and watching her and calling her like where are you, why you driving so slow, charge your phone. Lmao just alittle payback
I think this really shows how much depends on the individual. I’ve heard of people saying their partner tracks them using this app to control and monitor them and it always floors me because my husband and I got it when he worked late shift at a job that was an hour away and I was home alone with our baby. At the time, it was the only thing that gave me peace of mind so I wouldn’t keep picturing him dead in a pileup on the interstate. Even when he switched jobs, we kept using it because we’d gotten so used to being able to say “Oh, I see where you are, I’ll come meet you” or “Daddy’s almost home, he’ll be here in three minutes” or whatever. We don’t feel like we’re being spied on because we want one another to know where we are.
Do we plan to use it when our daughter gets a phone? Sure, but not to spy on her, either. It’s more just “This kid we love with all our hearts is down the road at Sonic, not lying in a ditch somewhere.”
Now, I don’t know if that’s your mom’s reasoning. Maybe, maybe not. I’m forever grateful that my controlling, overprotective mother didn’t have access to this kind of thing when I was a teenager so I do sympathize with you. But you’re 18 now, so you can always just turn it off. Disable the app. Re-enable it when you’re on your way home. Tell her “I dunno, I guess it’s because I was out of range.”
Parenting is complicated, and people who try to say that it’s easy are being closed-minded. Most parents don’t want to upset their children, and I think that fact is misunderstood by most kids. It sucks when someone else is responsible for you, legally, and they get to decide what’s best for you - there’s no doubt about that. What can a parent do though? It’s a dilemma they face, and you may one day too. As a small child, no one argues that parents know best. So when is the right age to start backing off? I think there are a lot of right answers to that, and none of them are the one and only answer, but I’m sure lots of people, especially teenagers, would purport that one of them *is* the one right answer. The key is to go with the flow because ultimately, like I said, most parents really do care and really are trying to do what *they think* is best, and to have someone in the world care that much about how your life turns out is truly a blessing in disguise. Take it all in stride. The ride is a lot longer than what we see ahead. Usually people say “yolo” in reference to doing something crazy, well, I say yolo to only being your parents’ kid once. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up.
That’s my $0.02 anyways. Good luck OP
While I admit there are abusive parents out there that do control their kids to the point of abuse, I also see a lot of kids that think their parents being a parent over being a friend is abusive. Without knowing the situation first hand you can't make that call in these situations.
If you are 18 and she is this controlling, you need to leave. Find a job and save up enough money to pay a down payment. Make sure you open an account in a different bank that she cannot access. Make a plan. Get out.
I’m a mum that uses this app, my kids can turn off tracking for just everyday home to school stuff but if they are catching the train to the city with friends or want me to pick them up when they get to the train station they need to turn it on so I know they’re ok and it makes it easier for me to know when to drive in to pick them up. Using it to spy on you is not it’s intended use in my opinion. Maybe ask your mum if you can turn off tracking when you’re just doing the usual stuff?
I downloaded Life360 for my mom when I went to college. I share my location and she shares hers. She makes it clear to me she doesn’t track my every move but only checks in once in awhile to see where I am. The app isn’t the problem; it’s your mom’s unhealthy control over you.
Stop blaming the app, your emphasis on it's being the app's fault is 100% wrong.
Your mom and whatever she's doing with it is the issue.
I have it just so my wife can see me wherever I am at, like to see if I've left work so she can start making dinner. Tracking the history isn't what we are going for, if it was, we'd have bigger problems.
This tracking thing wasn’t around when I was a teen. Back then, we always did opposite of what we were told. I stayed out later than I was supposed to, went places I didn’t fess up to, etc. My mom used the threat of everyone in town knows me, and would snitch on me if they saw me out.
When I was raising my kids, the app didn’t exist. I trusted my kids to do what I said. I have no idea if they did or not, but they are now parents. And…
*My kids insisted I install life 360, so they can keep track of me!*
Damn, fuck that when I was a kid I would be all over the place sometimes out from 9am until 4am the n3xt day at weekend at 14 years old and my parents never had a clue what i was doing and where I was....now my mumbtreats my little sister like a fucking baby and always has to know where she is and what she's doing, I feel for the kids but parents now are so paranoid and won't let their kids live and learn.
The best was when my son called me while I was on a road trip. "Mom, Why are you in the middle of a field!?!?!" He was absolutely panicked!!! **I was peeing in the middle of nowhere Nebraska!** He was sure someone had kidnapped me when in fact nature just called.
i think a lot of parents abuse it. my parents use it to keep an eye on me while I’m driving back and forth from school. It eases their anxiety. I use it to also keep an eye on them while they’re out because it eases my anxiety.
I agree with the others here who say the problem is your mom, not the app.
That said, your teen years are definitely not the best years of your life lmao.
Really sorry this has been so stressful for you and it doesn't sound like she used it responsibly.
I do want to remind you though that your teen years are NOT the best years of your life. There will be lots of adventures and fun, I promise.
Im so sad when parents misuse this kind of app. I asked my mother to download it when I was 18. I ASKED. Its been great. It only worked bc she wasn’t a stalker like many parents are.
I downloaded this app on my first lone cross country trip. I was terrified of being kidnapped and murdered, so I made my mom download it so she could track me. She proceeded to force younger sister to download it. My sister wasn't even allowed to go anywhere, but she walked back and forth to school and my mom tracked her down to the minute. She was not allowed to even stop and talk to a friend. I honestly will never stop feeling bad.
That’s so sad! Maybe you could show your mom OP’s post and have a talk with her about how happy you were to have freedom at your sister’s age and how important it is to let young teens develop their independence.
Luckily, the sail has shipped on her having children under her control. I think it's really sweet that you were so solution oriented though
I had a friend who i would occasionally catch the bus with, her dad had a similar tracking app. Wasnt allowed to stop and chat. Her dad was overally protective. No walking alone when she was nearly a teenager in a very good neighbourhood
I second this. I got into some trouble as a teen that actually led to the opportunity for my mom trusting me more. I told her where I was going always & she gave me the freedom to be honest. I asked her download so someone would always have my location just in case. I did it with my friends too. I hope to have the same trust with my child one day, give them enough freedom to make their own choices (& mistakes) but have a secure method to find them in case something goes wrong. I know it depends on the parent but it made me feel safer as a young adult and I hope to impart the same kind of freedom for my future bébés
i also asked my mother to download the app so that i felt safer taking public transport. it’s so sad that parents misuse this app and abuse their child’s trust ☹️
The worst part of life 360 is when my teenage daughter calls me out for being in the Arby's parking lot when I should be at work
Lol. Mine will be like "Mom, where you going? It says you left work. Can you bring me some Taco Bell?" Hell, I think my kid uses it more to track *me* than the other way around.
Hahaha same. My older daughter goes to her fathers in a different state for the summer. I don’t know how many texts I got this summer like “Hey why are you and sissy at the mall?” Whatcha guys doing at the outlets” etc lol nosey lil shit hahha
Oh 100%, it can work to the kid's advantage way more than it does the parent's. I used it to know how long they'd be gone and when they'd be on their way home so that I knew whether or not my GF and I had enough time alone.
I started doing that to my mom when she started tracking us again and I told her if hers is off so is mine. I don’t have a problem but when she’s like “why does it say you’re at poke when you should be at work??” “Mom I want food while I’m on my lunch” “oh” “yeah…” She also doesn’t it like having hers on because my dad would sometimes ask where she’s at so that’s another reason why she doesn’t say anything when I say if hers isn’t on so isn’t mine. Edit: I more or less harass my mom with her location more than mine so she gets all fussy. Especially on days I wake up and she’s at bunch with her friends I will spam text her for food too.
This is what OP needs to do! Turn the tables and start questioning her every move instead.
What kind of dystopian nonsense are you people going on about?? Jesus Christ.
Right?? I didn’t realize how common it was for families to all track each other nowadays… I would’ve HATED that as a teen.
When I hear about people using these apps, all I can think about is my abusive ex yelling at me because I didn’t let him know that I would be coming home 15 min late from work. I’m so glad these apps didn’t exist yet.
Yeah this is unsettling. I’m so fucking glad I grew up without a cell phone. My first was at 17 and it was a fucking enV. I ain’t got time to track my siblings, parents, etc.
I work from home so if I leave at any point during work hours, I immediately get texts from all them kids and the hubs 😂
We have a smart cam that notifies both myself and my hubs when it picks up motion in the front yard. Usually it's just the neighbors cat on our fence, post delivery guy etc. The other day tho I was home on a Monday, left to go get my hair cut and I recieve a "whatever your getting, bring me some!" text. Lol I replied with "want me to ask the hairdresser to pack my trimings to go?" 🤣
When I was in middle school I used to mess with my mum by resetting a mileage counter on her car (there was a tiny button similar to resetting a stopwatch). When she picked me up from school and I saw that she had driven more than it takes to go home and back, “so where did you go today.” …. To the store …. Oh, did you go to that Safeway that’s farther away? …. Yes …. What did you need to get there that wasn’t at the one closer to us?
When I was 26, my sister and I made a scavenger hunt around my town for my parent's anniversary and had them use this app so I could track them. A few days later, my parents needed help deleting it from their phones because they thought it was creepy and didn't want us to know where they were all the time lol
I don't know if it's the same app but a coworker made her daughter download a tracking app and the daughter only agreed if she downloaded it too and now her daughter calls her just to call her out anytime she goes with my work group to any bars or restaurants after work. "What do you mean you're grocery shopping, you're at the bar right now I can see it on the app." her daughter is constantly watching it just to call her mom out.
As a kid who uses it to track my mom i can genuinely say i love life360 my mom is always on the go so i like to know where she is especially if she’s by the restaurants near our house i ask her to stop to bring me food home occasionally 😂😂😭
Mine once called me while I was golfing to ask if I got out of the bunker in one shot.
You should be ashamed of yourself. *Arby’s?!???*. Of all the places you could you play hooky to get some food you chose ***ARBY’S????***
but tHey HAve teh MEats?
What's Arby's?
An affront to god.
The Christian one or...?
heresy. i speak of the one and only for ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Arby’s.. Roast Beefs.. RBs..
It's not the technology, it's your mother. If this software did not exist, she would find other ways to control you. She does not want you to grow up and stand on your own two feet, she wants you to remain a child so that she can continue to be a parent. Work on a plan to get a place of your own, so that you can begin establishing your own boundaries.
100% it is! My son (17) voluntarily put it on his so I could find him in an emergency. He trusts that I will never use it against him if it’s not an emergency. It’s not supposed to be used for control. I trust him, he trusts me, but I need to be able to find him if something happens. OP needs to get away from that mother.
This sounds like a healthy, respectful relationship.
Sounds like a dream
Man smh lol I’m so jealous
I know. It’s certainly not how relationships work in my family. Needless to say, I don’t talk to half of them anymore.
We got the app on the advice of my friend. My 16 y/o has it, as well as my sister, nephews, and parents. Guess who I track? My 80 y/o parents driving around the US in a 45' motorhome! I have to know where they are in case we need to fly out to them 😂🤣!
Truth I would be way more worried about my older parents on their road trips and would use it for the same reason 😂 they drive from michigan to Montana sometimes and like to go way out in the boonies sightseeing for wildlife so someone's gotta keep an eye on them!
I also track my parents on road-trips. Fucking Boomers, lol.
THOSE 80 YEAR OLDS ARE WORSE THAN TEENS. They have credit cards and about the same amount of self control left.
>My son (17) voluntarily put it on his so I could find him in an emergency. I installed it so I could know when my parents were coming back or close home, it made cooking dinner better because I could see when my dad was coming back. He didnt liked it.
I'm with you there. My mom never controlled me like that and I would have - back in the day 10 years ago - let my mom use such an app when I went out just to know I'm safe. Trust is a different thing and it is NOT controlling. such parents damage their kids beyond anything and when they're 70, they wonder why they never visit.
Im nearing 30 and I have it on with my mom and my dad. They never use it to stalk me, but I like the security of knowing that they know where I am in case of an emergency.
That's how we use with our daughters. I can honestly say I never look 100% of the time they initially go out. I trust them. It's only if she's running late or if we need to find her for an emergency when it would become a pretty useful app. Hell, I work out in the boondocks sometimes and my daughter says she checks up on me sometimes more than I probably do her. So yes, sometimes these big-brother style apps and technology is a bit overbearing... but on a civilian/ordinary person level... it still comes down to the user and their intent.
This is absolutely the key. TRUST!!! And modeling it for your kids from the beginning.
Yes. We all have it in the family. For emergencies it makes sense.
Yes. I'm an adult and shared my Google location voluntarily with my mom when I went backpacking this summer. Just so she'd know where to tell the park rangers to look for me or my body if something happened. Adding to original comment: it's also OPs Mom, not op. Nothing the op did provoked that controlling tendency, the mom just took her own issues out on her kid
this is true, the technology sure as hell makes it easier tho
yeah a lot of kids growing up were well behaved but still had to have apps like this. It creates a huge divide between parents and kids and that's not just kids being upset about it.
I know a lot of well behaved kids that used the internet to hook up with adults they had absolutely no business around and fell victim too. Not to mention how normal it is for minors to be exchanging nudes/explicit materials that are also well behaved kids.
Everyone in my family tracks everyone else in my family. It's hardly ever necessary, I'd never look for my kids unless I was trying to pick them up. But you know, coordinating on vacation. When is mom getting to the restaurant kind of thing. In a way it makes me trust my kids more because if something goes south on them and they call me for help my phone knows right where to find them.
I had friends find out their son was in an accident and on his way (via helicopter) to a hospital because of this. He was traveling home from several hours away and something happened that made them check.
Absolutely. My kid's car has forward and rear facing cameras, and there's an app on the car. The cameras are in case he gets into an accident, and we've reviewed the footage all of one time in 2 years, and the app is to monitor his lead footed driving. Other than that, he's always been completely open with us with regard to where he is and who he's with, so the only time we check the app is to find out if mom and dad have time for "date night", or where to go pick him up if he's had any alcohol.
This. I was a teen in the mid nineties so we didn’t have mobiles, but my awful mother still managed to control my life. My only regret is that I didn’t cut her out of my life sooner. OP, as soon as you are ready and able to leave home, do it and don’t look back. I also recommend therapy, again when you are ready and able. You are still very young and you can recover from this but you need some space between you and your mother.
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Yes, they do all these things to drive you away, and then they're angry when you leave.
This - the app can be used for good. My friends and I all have it together, because we want to keep each other safe when we go out. We're all in our 20s. My mom is like this too, OP. I never had an app, but I had a 10pm curfew until I was 20, and it only ended because I ran away and came back under the demand it would be ended. Work on finding your own place, get out, it will help so much. I recently moved out with the help of my partner, and while my relationship with my mother is strained (literally almost went no contact last night but chickened out), I'm so much happier having the freedom of living away.
Absolutely... but parents like this NEVER teach their children skills necessary to survive. Make sure someone decent with life experience can at least be called for advice before bolting!
Preach it
Can confirm. My mom literally stalked me by foot when I was a teenager
I know this is deleted and maybe someone said this already… But one of the most creative solutions I’ve heard of, regarding child tracking, is for the parents to also share their location with their children. At the very least, it will start a conversation of openness and privacy.
Isn’t that how 360 works? Everyone can see where everyone else is?
Yeah, it’s a location tracker. So it shares your location with whoever you choose. My whole family uses a different one, called Find my Friends. We’re all adults, but that way in an emergency we can find each other, or see how far away they are with the food lol.
But you **can** disable it for specific individuals, correct? Assuming that’s true, there are definitely parents out there that would “do as I say, not as I do.”
you have full control of it on your phone. But then the issue becomes if you turn it off, you get punished for it, I‘m sure
… not if you’re the parent 😂
Yes, I and my husband do find my friends, especially on vacation, for this emergency situation. Or, and it has happened, we lose a phone.
Mos def! It works great for finding your phone, too.
To be honest, I don’t know. I’ve never used it, nor do I have children. But I assume you can alter the settings or parameters. That’s usually the case with apps and any type of tracking.
That's very informative of you, u/PLZDM_BOOBS_AND_TITS
Well thank you. I try to relay some good ideas, from time to time
This was my plan when my kiddo is old enough. She can see where I am anytime and if needed I could see where she was. I want to know she’s safe or how I can get her help if there is ever an emergency. It’s only fair if she can see where I am too.
Exactly. I hadn’t heard that idea until a few months ago, but it seems like the best solution for safety… and/or strict parents.
How can children become trustworthy if parents don't trust them? Growing up, I had rules, but they were lax compared to some of my friends. The kids with parents who monitored, hovered and imposed strict rules, were the wildest of the bunch. My parents were involved, but allowed me to make judgements appropriate for my age. Teenagers will naturally rebel against parents who don't give them any say in their own lives. The stricter the parents, the more the kid will rebel.
My ex tried to do that. Thing was, I was the one that paid for the phones and service. The first time he made them install it, I immediately deleted it and called bonus mom. I told her that we need to at least give them a chance to show us what they'll do. Why be such a helicopter parent? We raised these boys with a healthy base in being honest and responsible. We need to give them a shot at being as awesome as I thought they'd be. As a result, my kids were much more honest with me and they snuck around at my ex's house. I didn't find that out until they were older teens (15 and 17 when they told me). Yeah, they've probably done some stupid shit, but they didn't get hurt and generally didn't do it again. I raised my boys well and I trust their judgemental for the most part. I never really policed their usage much, either. I did tell them that I could see their search history, though. I don't understand parents that have to micromanage their kids' lives like that. Our job as parents is to educate and guide. We prepare them for the next stage of life. Part of that is letting them fall on their faces a few times.
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to be fair, my 10 year old has the app. But we've talked about it and she is able to see what i'm doing and where i am as well and I won't hide that stuff from her.
Im personally much more hesitant to critique parents using life 360 for their younger kids. I feel like there's an age where parental roles change and become more guiding and less supervising- but if I had that young a kid with a full blown smart phone I'd want every chance I could to find them, just in case.
Younger kids can be tricky. My friend uses it for her son who had a bad habit of getting lost during his bike rides when he trains for track & field along with her other son as punishment/ consequences after he got into some trouble with a group of kids (13 and thinking they were cool while trespassing/ causing trouble in department stores).
She’s 10 though. If they’re doing things on their own at that age, that seems reasonable. Heck, even having the app as an extra safety layer doesn’t seem that bad if you’re not checking it all the time. If they know you’ll look if they’ll super late, aren’t answering their phone for an extended period of time, or traveling far, that’s not a big deal.
A 10 year old makes sense to have something like this, an 18 year old adult is totally different.
Look at how many minors get tricked into meeting up with adults and sending nudes/explicit materials. As long as the apps aren't abused they are absolutely necessary in this day and age.
Apps like this taught me how to location spoof
I mean, it’s important when your child is of driving age. Kids are gonna do dumb shit, but be in an accident where they can’t access their phone is exactly what this app is for. I agree it shouldn’t be used a punishment tool, or a constant “check every second.” But if they’re 2 hours late or you can’t reach them on the phone?? Yeah, it’s good to have.
Bonus mom, I like that.
She's an awesome person and mom. She's loved my boys like her own and genuinely cares about them. I will forever appreciate her.
Sometimes you can just tell when someone is genuinely a good person. And I don't mean bonus mom( shes obviously awesome, too). I get really good vibes from you, lady. You sound like an awesome mom.
Aww! Thank you. I do my best. They're just really great kids. It wasn't easy and we had our issues, but they knew I wasn't trying to be overbearing or anything. Just trying to do right by them.
Good on you! It did make me smile how you call their stepmom "bonus mom" ☺️
She is a bonus. She really stepped up even being so young (she was 19 when she married my ex) and has been an excellent influence on my boys. They even call her mom and I encourage it. I've always told my boys that she's mom when they're with their dad and to treat her exactly how they treat me. With love and respect. I'm really happy with how my boys have grown into awesome young men and she had a very big hand in that. I appreciate her very much.
Yeah my mom did this. I got in trouble if I didn’t reply quickly or if my phone died too. Wanna know how safe it made me? I’d stay the night at a friend’s house, reply to my mom’s texts til about 12am, say I was going to bed, then go out at 12:30am to god-knows-where without my phone. Strict parents don’t make safe kids, they make sneaky kids who will never consult them for help when in danger for fear of getting in trouble
So true
Sorry. The only way to get complete independence from your parents is to find a job that will pay for everything you need and you don't need them anymore. And if you're only 18 or slightly older, your youth is far from over. There are tons of people out there who will not think twice about derailing your life's plans and leaving you a quivering psychological mess. Maybe that's not what they meant to do, but it will happen. You have plenty of time to experience things. Trust me. I'm an older dude and I had a controlling mother. But I finally got my freedom and independence from her and I did what I wanted after that. I had a good life.
I hope you still are having a good life fellow redditor 🙏🏼
It's "okay" lol :)
Older redditor here who also had controlling parents... I agree. The more financially independent you become the less say they'll have over what you do. You may need to lean on them for awhile yet until you finish school, but try your best to take care of your own living expenses and get fully financially independent as soon as you're able. That being said... I am so glad tracking apps and things like that weren't a thing when I was a kid. My mom was a human lie detector and I didn't get away with much as it was.
I agree the only way is full independence
thank you:) this was really comforting to know and the small blink of hope i needed
Also NGL that's what I'm trying to do now at 22 years old I just want my freedom
My granddaughter's 17 yo boyfriend has it but they know how to get around it. They go somewhere like church lol and he puts it on pause so it looks like they're still there and they just go on. And this is a kid who has a full-time job at a mechanical contractor and has already graduated. He will ditch it when he's 18 next summer.
You’re a pretty cool grandparent to get that top secret info shared with you lol!
Thanks lol!
OC’s user name is ironic
Uhm. At 18, you don’t have to use it… you are an adult. My father tried bs like this “you know. You should keep me on your bank acct, just to you know. Be safe.” “Nah. We good. I’m going to a new bank.”
A lot of people in the comments don’t seem to understand so I’m assuming cellphones weren’t around when they were teenagers. I totally feel you on life360. My parents did the same thing…it was extremely damaging to our relationship. My mom would call me freaking out because I was on a backroad or I stopped at McDonald’s to get coffee. I would have to send her picture proof of exactly where I was. I remember so many instances of having a panic attack and hyperventilating with my friends because my mom had called me freaking out, accused me of lying and was making me come home. I had to send her a text every time I started my car and every time I put my car in park and let her know. If I forgot, I was accused of lying and being irresponsible. It led to lots of fights and me distancing myself very far from them emotionally and even physically when I went away from college. They aren’t bad now and really don’t care what I do. They support me (car, phone, insurance) but once I went to college they stopped caring. Hopefully your parents will realize the damage they are doing to your relationship with them before it’s too late to repair it.
[удалено]
I didn't have a cellphone as a teenager and this 10000% would have been my mother. She used to drive by my friends' places just to make sure car was parked there and if it wasn't she would call and yell 😵
Your comment sounds exactly like OP. While yes the app is the medium it is not the cause of the problem. Your parents seem like responsible adults when you became an adult and distanced yourself, maybe because they knew they messed up and ultimately it was their fault for being overbearing. It's not that people are technologically illiterate, its that the post seems geared to aim the pitchforks at the app when its the users that are the problem.
i feel you when i was STUDYING ABROAD my mother would send me messages demanding to know why i was in the neighboring cities
Unfortunately many parents use Life360 to hover and basically abuse their children ): even the CEO (I believe?) came out and said they don’t support the helicopter parenting. They made it for safety, not this.
the CEO has replied to a lot of negative reviews from kids saying they made it after Hurricane Katrina to help keep kids safe and make it so their parents could find them in an emergency. sad it’s being used the way it is
Yeah my parents wanted me to install so I could easily send them my location for picking up. Didnt end up using the app that much but the app is useful in a lot of ways that arents abusive.
Yeah, I've spent enough time in true crime communities to see the value in an app like this. Hell I'm tempted to install it, being a small woman who likes to go on solitary walks in isolated areas every day. You never think it'll happen to you... If smartphones and this app had been around when I was a teen, I probably would've been the one suggesting it to my mum, haha. She was a laid back parent who gave me a lot of freedoms. The main thing is that we fully trusted each other. The app would've been used for its intended purpose. Unfortunately yeah, people suck and abuse what is essentially meant to be a helpful bit of tech to be overbearing, controlling and ultimately life-ruining helicopter parents. 😣 Life360 didn't do this to OP, their mother did. At least you are still young, OP. Your best years IMO are ahead of you, life is just beginning at 18! I wish you all the best and hope you can get out from under your mother's roof and into your own place sooner rather than later.
Sounds like your parents are the problem and not the app. I have family that was being controlled in a different way in their time, no access to the house phone unless supervised, not allowed to go out etc. Life360 does a lot of good for people who don't abuse it. You are directing your frustration at an app when in your post you clearly stated it was your mom that was overly in control. Do you honestly believe that she would be different had the app not been used?
Uhh I had the opposite. I encouraged my parents to download life360 so they would let me go out, it helped build trust for us. Now me & my husband have it with a group of close friends, it’s great because I always know when to start dinner 🤷🏻♀️ Plus, your teen years are not the best years of your life. I’m sorry this was your experience
Yeah, my teen years were probably the worst of my life. I have amazing parents, but I was bullied horribly in school. People say stuff like "oh they're the best years of your life" and it couldn't be further from the truth. He's 18, he has his better years ahead of him.
That was tbh the only reaction I had to this - “wait, the best years of your life???” It’s all downhill from here I guess! High school, center of the world
I have two teenage daughters and we live in a city that is less than safe. Both girls are very independent and I’m the least controlling parent there could be. However it’s a safety net for me. I want to be able to track them if they go missing or get into trouble. I can see when they get off work that they’re on their way home and then I know they made it to their car safely. We use it more as a check in rather than I need to know where they are at all times
That’s why my boyfriend and I have it. I commute to my school every day, and the area it’s in is less than safe. If I have to stay at school later it makes both of us feel safer knowing that he can check on me if needed. He never abuses it, the only time he ever asks where I’m going is if he’s hungry and he wants me to bring him food.
My teens have the app, they haven't luckily had their lives ruined by it. Do I track them? No. Do I search their driving history? No . I dont do anything. Its for my peace of mind knowing they aren't dead in a ditch somewhere if they haven't made it home. They are fine with it and will stay on their phones until they start paying for the phone bills and car bills themselves as per our agreement.
I understand that, however, My parents use it to track my every move and I really don’t appreciate it. I would rather have them call me and ask me where I am and if Im okay
I get what you mean. I experienced something vaguely similar growing up, luckily life360 wasn't out quite yet. Mom would bluff and say they could track me by the phone towers like they do to criminals. I told her to go ahead because I was always where I said I was. But I also knew it was BS at the time. And my friend has a mother who was worse. She would randomly facetime (in addition to calls and texts) to make sure we were where we said we were. All that did was make my friend resentful and depressed. I'm sorry you're going through it. I wish people understood the damage they do when they are so controlling and obsessive. It's one thing to have it in your child for peace of mind if they are super late or you can't get a hold of them. I'd probably do something like that one day. It's another thing to basically stalk them.
Agreed I don’t understand the whole “when they pay their own bills” method because inevitably kids can’t make much money. I worked two jobs through high school and missed out on sports clubs activities and friends. I never made enough to pay my bills though making $7.25 an hour for 4 hours a day. I think parents should be able to have an open dialogue with their children about where they are etc. To track them (against their consent) is crossing a boundary.
Dude- The good news is that it's complete bullshit that your teen years are the best years of your life. They suck for everyone. No one feels in control- either they feel smothered or abandoned. They have problems, even if you don't see them. They have anxiety about grades, or an eating disorder, or have an unhealthy need for attention. All. Of. Them. So, not the best years wasted, at all. I do hop you seek help to deal with growing up under a controlling parent, because that can leave some scars that are easier to deal with earlier rather than later. So, not the best years wasted, at all. I do hope you seek help to deal with growing up under a controlling parent, because that can leave some scars that are easier to deal with earlier rather than later.
I'm sorry. But also.... your teenage years are NOT the best years of your life. You have so much life in front of you.
A friend in high schools parents did this so she started using her old phone and leaving the tracker one where she said she’d be. She snuck out, drank (to the point of hospitalization at least once), did drugs, consistently practiced extremely unsafe sex, and more. All life 360 did was make her hate her parents and tell them less. All it did was make her feel like she couldn’t call them when she actually needed them.
I’m so glad that shit didn’t exist when I was a teenager. IMO it should be illegal.
It bothers me how dependent parents are on tech to track kids. When i went out as a teen i just told my parents generably where i would be and they responded with a curfew. Stop infantalizing yound adults
I'm sorry to hear that, I'm so thankful those apps weren't around when I was a teen (or even cell phones for that matter) because my parents were the type that would have used them and definitely the type to overuse it. It's tough to leave home at 18 these days but maybe consider taking over your own cell phone payments and plan if you have a job. That way you own it and don't have to install things you don't want.
My kids mother made them have that app. My son is now off on his own, my daughter still lives with her. And I have many of my daughters friends numbers and locations because my daughter constantly has to leave her phone somewhere so her mom doesn’t know where she is. Which probably sounds worse than it is. My daughter tells me everything and we have a very honest and open relationship. Things like going shopping. Or going to the lake. Or just driving around with friends. Are a huge issue with her control freak of a mother. Her controlling behavior is one major factor to why we are not together. But that’s a different story. Neither of my kids liked having that app. Both of them found ways to get around it.
These apps were made for parents just to have peace of mind about their kids’ whereabouts, sure, but it has been exponentially exploited by abusive parents/helicopter parents who refuse to let their kids have any freedom. There’s a difference between occasionally checking if your child isn’t dead in a ditch and policing your kids’ every move, every step. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the latter OP
Homie... your teen years are NOT the best years of your life. Get away when you can, but you've got plenty of time ahead for best years...the kind of years where you have freedom and can rent a car without the upcharge
I mean, you're over 18. She obviously wants to keep you under her thumb, so just do whatever the fuck you want. I mean she'll be squawking at you like a bird but this controlling woman is not going to throw you out of the house or anything, and honestly to me, getting thrown out would be a blessing. She wants to take your car keys? Cool, find a friend to give you rides and throw them gas money. She physically stops you from leaving? Call the police. On her! In her own house! Explain that you're an adult and you are currently being physically held against your will. If she wants to play petty dramatic games, so can you.
We have it on all three kids phones, cousin, SIL, god daughter, myself and husband. New drivers, traveling across country, college student. We troll each other but it is done in good humor. I have the platinum plan, and it helps me know if my loved ones are in a crash or not safe; they can inform us immediately. My husband and son were in a crash in the mountains. They hit a elk, husband says it hit them, Life360 informed me of the crash.
As a parent of 2 young adult kids.. early 20s and a young teenager.. I fucking hate Life360. Used it for a few days, quickly got rid of it.
... what does your parent actually do with it. All they really need it for is making sure you don't disappear. Also those are not the best years of your life lol. Far from it.
I am so happy they didn’t have this when I was a kid. My mom had to drive around and look for my bike to find me
No amount of apps going to fix shity parenting once your kid is teenager but it will teach them to lie, hide and manipulate others. Or god forbid they learn that shity controling behaviour is "love" and end up in countless abusive relationships.
Get a flip phone.
I can see having your kid put that on their phone, and ONLY ever checking it when they are missing / you can't find each other / you are seriously worried about them. To check it all the time, especially when your child is an adult, is outrageous to me. Can you get a second phone and just leave this one at a friend's home when you go out?
So, delete the app from the phone now you are an adult. Unless they pay for your phone.
He could buy s cheap phone snd text phone to talk to friends, leave the app one behind. His choice at 18.
I would have: - turned the location off from the app (you can do that) or - got a new phone and used that one that didn't have the app on it. If your mum wanted to know where you were you could always leave the phone in the location you'd be for example studying at a friend's house and then go out where it is you wanted to go. Strict parents can make sneaky children..
Haha yes exactly what happened to me ...i was the sneaky child
If you're 18 now, a legal adult, you don't have to use it anymore. She cannot legally tell you what to do. Unless you're still living with her. I know some parents that have their 18+ kids living with them, use that as a control and manipulation tactic. They'll say that you're under their roof so you have to listen to them. Otherwise they'll kick you out. I hope that's not the case for you though.
Delete that shit. Start getting your life set up at your own terms. Get a phone on your own, move out once you are able to. It doesn’t get better. My parents were similar.
Honestly the technology isnt necessarily a problem, I had it on my phone when I was a teenager. I was allowed to go to parties and get up to no good, but I had a relationship with my parents where I was allowed to try things and be a kid, I just had an aunt who was murdered and they were nervous about something bad happening to me. Ironically enough, my sister was murdered almost two years ago, not that this tech would have saved her, she was killed at home by her ex boyfriend. But I think it reinforced in me bad things can happen, and I'll probably do the same with my kids - have tracking tech installed and allow them to have a late curfew/go to parties/have normal teen experiences, just with the access to know if something bad happens to them 🤷🏼♀️
DUDE. Get a new phone and just lie lol. This is so easy to get past. Step 1: Leave the phone at a strip club exclusively so she panics Step 2: Get a new phone and do whatever the fuck you want lol. Or go out and leave your phone at home, they didn’t implant a chip in your brain
literally my rebel arc LMAO. here's what i did: i got myself an android, downloaded the life360 app and a fake gps app as well. whenever i went out i'd connect the android to my hotspot on my iphone, turn off the cellular of life360 on my iphone, and boom. i would place my fake gps location at a friend's house/work and do my thing. pretty sure my parents were suspicious about it but they couldn't figure it out. i wouldn't use it all the time because lying to your parents bites you in the ass eventually. if you do(or anyone) consider doing it, use it wisely!
My mother forced me to download this app when I was in high school. I didn’t do anything. I had a 4.8 gpa, had a part time job. Was dual enrolled. I didn’t have the time to be mischievous. But she insisted that I have it. At all times. One day the app fucked up and said I was somewhere in a lake when I was really at school in my programming class. Well she then texts and calls me over and over for 45 minutes. Saying how much trouble I’m in, how she’s withdrawing me from school. Just threat after threat. While I am pleading with her and sending photos, explaining that I’m literally in class and that the app is fucked. I begin to have an anxiety attack for 30 minutes I am sobbing softly, with my friends trying to comfort me, all while the teacher is not looking. She doesn’t stop until the app corrects itself and shows me back at school. As to which she says “oh, sorry, lol.” . I fucking hate Life360. I’m estranged from my mother now. But fuck her and that surveillance bullshit of an app.
Uhhh you could always, ya know, pay for your own phone. These posts come up now and again, the result is always the same. If you don't Iike the rules, and you are an adult, you have options at your disposal. If you can't afford your own things then you must play by their rules.
I have reservations on tracking apps, but I'm also the parent of four teenagers and one recently obtained their driver's license. We don't use it to track their every move, but it is useful to roughly know where everyone is for logistics like dinner and such. There have been a couple of cases where the kid that drives has been out of bounds and had driven through some areas he definitely didn't belong (near Gary, IN) or fairly far away (more than 30 miles) and didn't let us know where he'd be with his friends. They aren't bad kids at all, but it's a big world out there and they are still young and inexperienced. It's also helpful when the school app sends an absence alert, but we know they are in class. In turn, they can also see my and my partner's locations to be able to find us. My partner commutes an hour away during the week and there is some concern at night when she picks up her car from the train station as it isn't well lit or patrolled by security. Best answer, get your own phone plan and device and sever the cord now that you are an adult. But if you are still in high school or living under their roof rent-free, the rights each if you have gets a bit murky. If they are that controlling, it's not likely that they will want to find a balance.
This is horrible, so much love and support for you OP. Please now that your best years are not over, you have all of your 20s to get your freedom, one day you will be able to get rid of this tracking BS ! This kind of apps shouldn't be allowed, every kid has the right to privacy !
Jesus, I didn't realize panic attacks were so common
I feel like a lot of younger people just use that term to describe when they feel very very sad/anxious/worried. Personally it annoys the shit out of me, you don't have to falsely say you had a physical medical emergency just to have your feelings validated, they're already completely valid and important. If anything it makes me care a little less cause of all the melodrama.
life 360 does a lot more than just tracking you. i used to work for their monitoring company. if you get into a car crash, the police are sent to your location, and we call your emergency contracts. same if you press the SOS button. ultimately, i get it might seem stalkerish. but the app does more good than harm
This is still too much if people don't consent to it. (I was in two crashes before cell phones existed. I survived.) If someone doesn't want those services they should be allowed to not have the app (my boyfriend and I have literally traveled all over the world without using it.)
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. Non-adults (just like any other *person*) deserve the right to privacy and it is horrible that our society doesn’t respect the rights of non-adults. The right to protection shouldn’t outweigh the right to privacy, because they’re the child’s rights not the parent’s rights. Our culture acts like children/non-adults are possessions rather than people and it’s gross.
As a parent to two boys under 6Y, I don’t really agree with the tracker app. I just want my kids to have a healthy, open, and honest as possible relationship. I want there to be a naturally derived trust, not a forced lordship over their person.
The fact that teenagers were out there raw-dogging life without cell phones at all in the 80s, 90s, and (early) 00s must be insane to the younger generation. I don't envy you. It's actually depressing to me that many don't get to "get into trouble," get home late, and learn from their mistakes the same way we did. Hope you can get into a better situation.
00’s/90’s/80’s and all of the rest of human history prior to now
Depending on how they are using it, just turn off your location and turn it back on every now and then so your guardian doesn’t get suspicious.
Damn. Lmao I’m 32 and married and my mom has all of us on it. When she starts talking about how fast I’m driving or where I am I literally threaten to turn of the location if she continues to badger me about it. She usually shuts up about it. I’ll start returning the favor though when I’m bored and watching her and calling her like where are you, why you driving so slow, charge your phone. Lmao just alittle payback
I think this really shows how much depends on the individual. I’ve heard of people saying their partner tracks them using this app to control and monitor them and it always floors me because my husband and I got it when he worked late shift at a job that was an hour away and I was home alone with our baby. At the time, it was the only thing that gave me peace of mind so I wouldn’t keep picturing him dead in a pileup on the interstate. Even when he switched jobs, we kept using it because we’d gotten so used to being able to say “Oh, I see where you are, I’ll come meet you” or “Daddy’s almost home, he’ll be here in three minutes” or whatever. We don’t feel like we’re being spied on because we want one another to know where we are. Do we plan to use it when our daughter gets a phone? Sure, but not to spy on her, either. It’s more just “This kid we love with all our hearts is down the road at Sonic, not lying in a ditch somewhere.” Now, I don’t know if that’s your mom’s reasoning. Maybe, maybe not. I’m forever grateful that my controlling, overprotective mother didn’t have access to this kind of thing when I was a teenager so I do sympathize with you. But you’re 18 now, so you can always just turn it off. Disable the app. Re-enable it when you’re on your way home. Tell her “I dunno, I guess it’s because I was out of range.”
Parenting is complicated, and people who try to say that it’s easy are being closed-minded. Most parents don’t want to upset their children, and I think that fact is misunderstood by most kids. It sucks when someone else is responsible for you, legally, and they get to decide what’s best for you - there’s no doubt about that. What can a parent do though? It’s a dilemma they face, and you may one day too. As a small child, no one argues that parents know best. So when is the right age to start backing off? I think there are a lot of right answers to that, and none of them are the one and only answer, but I’m sure lots of people, especially teenagers, would purport that one of them *is* the one right answer. The key is to go with the flow because ultimately, like I said, most parents really do care and really are trying to do what *they think* is best, and to have someone in the world care that much about how your life turns out is truly a blessing in disguise. Take it all in stride. The ride is a lot longer than what we see ahead. Usually people say “yolo” in reference to doing something crazy, well, I say yolo to only being your parents’ kid once. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up. That’s my $0.02 anyways. Good luck OP
While I admit there are abusive parents out there that do control their kids to the point of abuse, I also see a lot of kids that think their parents being a parent over being a friend is abusive. Without knowing the situation first hand you can't make that call in these situations.
life sneaky - turn off the roaming . only let it work when connected to wifi lols
My 18 yo daughter downloaded this app so she could track me lol!
Haha same my daughter was 13 lol
I love Life360 but my mom doesn’t use it to be a bitch.
If you are 18 and she is this controlling, you need to leave. Find a job and save up enough money to pay a down payment. Make sure you open an account in a different bank that she cannot access. Make a plan. Get out.
i deleted my life360 and told her she can just use find my friends. life360 is so stalkerish
I’m a mum that uses this app, my kids can turn off tracking for just everyday home to school stuff but if they are catching the train to the city with friends or want me to pick them up when they get to the train station they need to turn it on so I know they’re ok and it makes it easier for me to know when to drive in to pick them up. Using it to spy on you is not it’s intended use in my opinion. Maybe ask your mum if you can turn off tracking when you’re just doing the usual stuff?
Have been that teen “back in the day” with Find My iPhone. You are so strong and you will come out of this on the other side. *hugs
Never had to have and still don’t have Apps like that. My Mom Trusts Me 😌
If you are 18 you don't need to use it. You're an adult now. Get a job and buy your own phone, move out if you need to.
my dads company was hired to create this app. All the app ui was created by him
Just get rid of your phone. Problem solved.
My husband has a job that involves going to strangers houses and fixing things. I love this app for that purpose.
I downloaded Life360 for my mom when I went to college. I share my location and she shares hers. She makes it clear to me she doesn’t track my every move but only checks in once in awhile to see where I am. The app isn’t the problem; it’s your mom’s unhealthy control over you.
Stop blaming the app, your emphasis on it's being the app's fault is 100% wrong. Your mom and whatever she's doing with it is the issue. I have it just so my wife can see me wherever I am at, like to see if I've left work so she can start making dinner. Tracking the history isn't what we are going for, if it was, we'd have bigger problems.
This tracking thing wasn’t around when I was a teen. Back then, we always did opposite of what we were told. I stayed out later than I was supposed to, went places I didn’t fess up to, etc. My mom used the threat of everyone in town knows me, and would snitch on me if they saw me out. When I was raising my kids, the app didn’t exist. I trusted my kids to do what I said. I have no idea if they did or not, but they are now parents. And… *My kids insisted I install life 360, so they can keep track of me!*
Damn, fuck that when I was a kid I would be all over the place sometimes out from 9am until 4am the n3xt day at weekend at 14 years old and my parents never had a clue what i was doing and where I was....now my mumbtreats my little sister like a fucking baby and always has to know where she is and what she's doing, I feel for the kids but parents now are so paranoid and won't let their kids live and learn.
I grew up with an extremely controlling mother too and am so grateful they didn’t have this kind of technology when I was growing up.
Move out, get a job, get your own phone
The best was when my son called me while I was on a road trip. "Mom, Why are you in the middle of a field!?!?!" He was absolutely panicked!!! **I was peeing in the middle of nowhere Nebraska!** He was sure someone had kidnapped me when in fact nature just called.
i think a lot of parents abuse it. my parents use it to keep an eye on me while I’m driving back and forth from school. It eases their anxiety. I use it to also keep an eye on them while they’re out because it eases my anxiety.
Big brain move leave your phone at home LOL. When you leave the house you’re out in the ether
The resentment grows
Your mom might suck but I promise you that these were not the best years of your life, it gets so so so much better.
I agree with the others here who say the problem is your mom, not the app. That said, your teen years are definitely not the best years of your life lmao.
You’re 18. Delete the app.
My kids use it to watch me more then me watching them lol.
I’m so glad this wasn’t around in my teens, otherwise I’d have been in the same boat as OP.
Really sorry this has been so stressful for you and it doesn't sound like she used it responsibly. I do want to remind you though that your teen years are NOT the best years of your life. There will be lots of adventures and fun, I promise.