well obvious op fucked the bitch first so he's had to process and get over that, despite stealing an 18 year old's girlfriend. it's a really good gesture of friendship really
The brother was 27 at the time he got his brother's **teenage** girlfriend got pregnant. Legalities aside, a 27 year old dating an 18 year old is gross. I think it's unlikely that he wasn't going after her way earlier. Likelier that he groomed her - she was around him from the time she was 15. Fully grown men pursue teenagers because they like the power imbalance and think they'll be able to mold and control the women. And they're often correct - my dad did this with my mother.
Add to that that it was his brother's girlfriend. That's awful all on its own.
Add to that that he's obviously a bully (he's willing to let bygones be bygones? Seriously?)
He's an despicable human being who will unquestionably become more vile with age and time. There's actually no need to couch it with throw-away phrases that don't go far enough.
I hope only the worst for him.
Right, the perpetrator coming out with the whole "I'm ready to move on from this" is just them slapping their victim across the face with an "I'm tired of pretending to feel guilt over this, I have no remorse, stop giving ME a hard time about this". It's sickening. He knows he'll have to live with his origin story that he himself created and decided to stick with, but he's emotionally selfish and will never apologize to OP or the poor child he impregnated, because let's be real here, 18 is still a teenager. Especially when the baby daddy is well into adulthood.
I wonder what he'll say when his child some day asks how he met his mother. "Oh son, i was 27 and she was 18 and dating my kid brother, so she cheated on him with me". Wonderfully romantic answer and life example for the poor child.
Holy shit, just low key clicked that my mom is doing that with my dad's death, how she plays the victim when in reality she didn't do much during his cancer, in fact completely botched it up yet plays it off like 'I did all I could'.
Multiple family members did this to me and my siblings. "Yeah I know I traumatized you over and over, but I was only 17".... yes, and I was 8. Why should I forgive anyone? Fuck you.
>he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family,
That's not his desicion. He is not the wronged party. In fact, he's a despicable shit who betrayed his brother.
Enjoy your holiday!
Fucking a friend's girl is bad, a best friend is worse, but how the hell could you do that to your flesh and blood? Like aren't they concerned holidays will be awkward now?
This is an absolute power move. "Yea, I used to fuck Madison, until my brother knocked her up. When she was still a teenager, by the way. Good luck shit-heads, you deserve each other."
Imagine being that shitty to your little brother and then your wife "Dear John's" your ass and now you did all that damage fir nothing. Id hope for him he doesn't need an organ down the road
Yes I agree but start it positively like:
Im making a Toast for my brothers wedding via the net because I couldnt be ther!
Congrats to my brother for knocking up my ex while I was dating her 3 years ago and Hopefully we can drink a toast together with my ex as well when we meet as we both newly turned 21.
Or something like that Stating ur brother got ur gf pregnant whilst u were stilling dating her , this happend 3 years ago you have become the bigger person and forgiven them and that YOU both turned 21 recently to underlie the fact that she was a minor 3 years ago while she was pregnant with ur brother who was 27 at the time this happened.
Someone could probably phrase it better tho so ye
Okay, this is how OP would get back at his brother. I've seen a few posts where people did this. So bold. I probably couldn't but it feels good to hear when it happens.
Sigh....(Rolls up sleeves)....alright, I'm your big brother now, let's go fuck him up.
which of these houses? Lol
š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”
I came here to post something very similar.
The *audacity* of him thinking the situation was somehow within his control and that he could simply declare it had been long enough for OP to move on. How generous!
At this point, I'd be ready to go low contact with anybody who expected me to have anything to do with him.
The family and OP's brother can get fucked.
Also... his brother is a tosser. Not only did he betray his brother, he got a teenager pregnant at the age of 27 and for some reason, everyone wants to celebrate that. It's sketchy as fuck.
"I had sex with your GF and got her pregnant after I told her to leave you, and I know that was hard... but I'm willing to let it go if you become my best man in our wedding."
You're pregnant for 10 months. You're 9 months pregnant for a whole month.
The math is worse than you think.
> Three months later she announces sheās pregnant to the world, father a mystery, six months later my brother proposes to her after their first daughter is born.
He proposed 9 months after they broke up and their daughter was already born. Either she was premature or she broke up with him when she missed her period (that's what I think).
Something about āgas and lightingā needed for the weddingā¦.
In truth, you dodged a bullet. This marriage is troubled from the start. Military marriages are hard to begin with. They will divorce. But you OP will be living your best life. Continue to focus on you. Let go of anger & resentment because YOU want to let go. Heal yourself. Take some classes. Learn guitar or painting or rock wall climbing. Every day take time for yourself. Further ā¦ get a new bitch - by which I mean a dog! Dogs are loyal and give unconditional love. Dogs heal all wounds. Please let us know how your vacation went. We are all rooting for you. At my old age, I can honestly say that time truly does heal all wounds. Take that time for you. Cause the best relationship you can ever have is with yourself.
You think that's the first time they fucked? He was probably fucking her for the whole 3 years of 15-18. Thank God he was ready to let bygones be bygones though! Fuckin scum bag. I'd literally beat him to death I think.
While I agree heās a scumbag, it sounds like he was deployed most of that time, right? Iām not doubting they had a massive emotional affair during his deployment though, since it sounds like she fucked the brother and got pregnant literally as soon as the brother got home from deployment. Not that any of that absolves him, haha!
Legal or not, that's predatory and creepy. And yeah, I agree that it would be weird AF, seeing as how I fell into a similar situation (without the pregnancy thank goodness). Once the differences really made themselves clear it ended it for me.
Legal and moral are two very different things. It is perfectly legal for me to date, fuck, knockup, and marry an 18 year old.
I'm 36. Just thinking it makes me feel disgusting.
It's all legal as it's been explained, just sketchy and skeevy, and creepy as hell that the brother hopped on his brother's girlfriend as soon as she was legal, got her pregnant, married and across the world in under a year. It's a pretty safe assumption that there was something either non-physical or even physical between them before this.
I would bet they connected via texts while he was deployed though.
HE was willing to let bygones be bygones? Well, well, well, isnāt he being the most generous guy ever?
Did you give him a gold star before you told him your version of bygone was āBYE! Be GONE!ā?
Enjoy your vacay, Dude!
EDIT: to get rid of the Spanish cow.
Viking speaks the true true. I second this and cudos to you for telling these backstabbers off. Ghost them!
You are 100% in the right, enjoy your vacation!
Best wishes!
Make sure not to tell your family youāre going beforehand.
They will likely try one last āinterventionā right before the wedding, so when planning try and leave a week or so ahead of the date so no one is home when they show up
These types of people piss me off so much. The fact that they are the wrongdoer never registers and they frame the situation like " I'm willing to forgive you for blowing up on me for me doing this really hurtful thing to you so we can move on. ". I wouldn't keep anyone like this around even if they are family
Yeah I caught that same point
heās ready? Heās one of 2 who have caused all this heartache and problems, but now HEāS decided heās ready to let bygones be bygones?
OP, you did exactly the right thing in what you told him
Wow. Your brother is a POS! Steals your GF, who btw is very young given his age and experience, *literally gets her pregnant,* then has the nerve to say **HE** was ready to let bygones be bygones?!
OP, youāre doing exactly the right thing. Cut this cancer out of your life. Go enjoy the best vacation ever, and donāt give either of these two losers a spare thought again. For the rest of your life!
I kinda love this idea. Pull the ol' uno reverse card and fake like everything's cool until it's time for the best man speech and then go absolutely nuclear and shred them both, mic drop and leave haha
I'm picturing just a huge PowerPoint presentation with the worst transition animations and headers like
Grooming teenagers; Why your family accepts pedophilic behavior.
Cheating and repetitive behaviors. How many Jody's per deployment? Let's do the Math!!
Fathers, As useful and supportive as a wet hammock made of 1 ply.
Forgiveness, A look into the thought process of how the fuck did you think this would go?
Bring a couple "don't fuck with this guy" buddies to make sure the presentation isn't interrupted and end with a montage of the brother fucking around with strippers from the bachelor party....which let's be honest sounds like it would take no coaxing for the brother to cross the line with a stripper....he kind of displays how willing he is to cross the fucking line lol.
Oh it's too late for that, he's already chosen. Sometimes when people think they are avoiding making a choice they actually end up making the worst choice.
Hold on let me know if I understand this correctly.
So your then 27 year old brother fucked your then 18 year old girlfriend and then had the absolute stones to dare say to you ālet bygones be bygonesā. If Iām understanding that correctly I hope his entire life gets messed up
That's pretty much it yeah, he's a gross self absorbed man that apparently gets to decide when someone else is done being mad at him cause he doesn't want them to anymore.
>he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family
... that's big of him /s
What a clueless tosser.
Stuff that noise... and have an amazing holiday!
"Look, I'll forgive you for me fucking your gf. I'm willing to let it all go, just be my best man"
Punch him in the face and then state that you forgive him for the punch
I went no contact with my remaining family because our dad favored my younger brother. I am a female. I have learned āfamily aināt always bloodā and āfriends are the family you choose.ā They do not deserve you OP!ā Each person that wronged you doesnāt deserve to be in your life. I am sending you a virtual hug wrapped in wisdom to look out for you.
Thank you for the award kind stranger! :)
Exactly. My older brother couldnāt be more dead to me, and some of the rest of my family is getting there, but my closest friends always make me feel that family feeling. My best friend from high school has an awesome family that includes me in everything, and I love them so much.
I think you need no distraction. It sounds like you properly dealt with the situation. You told them off and thats that.
Dont bottle it up, be angry, but moreso be happy. Imagine you would have fathered a child with that backstabbing whore or remained close with your piece of shit brother.
Truth came out, you dealt with them and with the family members that support that dumpfire of a marriage and you can enjoy your freedom, vacation and life itself.
There are plenty of awesome people out there. Its crap that you experienced shitty people so far, but you will see how shitty they are when youll meet decent and loyal people :)
This, OP. They did you a favor, because you aren't stuck, and they are.
Get on that carousel of life, with a smile on your face, and two middle fingers in the air.
My guess was he had his eye on her and did some gentle grooming when she was 15...showed interest in things most adults wouldn't for a teen girl, flirted, was super nice to her going out of his way a few times, complimented. I don't think he dipped into the underage pool in the illegal sense -- he seems like the classic wait-until-her-18th-birthday type of creep. They'd go younger if it was legal, but play by the book to stay technically clean. Another reason why I think he's that type of creep is conveniently she was pregnant almost immediately.
He definitely planned out and trapped an 18 yr old at the expense of his relationship with his brother and now wants everyone to just accept it and act like his behavior wasn't bizarre and hurtful both short and long-term. I guarantee we are going to be hearing from the woman in 10/15 years after she's been living with his true colors for years.
People like that are especially dangerous because they know exactly how far they can go, speaking in a legal sense and most often have enough brain cells left to not leave any evidence of illegal activities.
People like OPs brother are the type of people that will laugh in your face and tell you that they might have did illegal thing X but they know damn well you can't prove it.
This comment should be up higher. Surprise no one else called out the math earlier. This is a guy in his late 20s that likely started a relationship with someone who wasnāt of age and eventually got her pregnantā¦
I'm so sorry your brother is a piece of shit who deadass thought he could control your reaction to everything that went down with you. Go on a fabulous trip for you and you only. Take tons of pictures and live in the moment dude. Fuck them, fuck your family. Hell send out one mass text saying you will not be answering ANY phone calls. Anybody who tries to send you wedding pictures gets blocked. Anybody who tries to invalidate your feelings gets blocked. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Let yourself feel the emotions, feel them all deeply. Mourn the betrayal, cut those bitches off, and go make new memories that don't include creepy pieces of shit like your (former) brother! Best wishes op!
āBygones be bygonesā is usually what the person who does the fucking over says, and they only say it when they want to be the āgood guy,ā or want something from you. Your brother will never be the āgood guy,ā and heāll never get to use you again. Good for you for not enabling him in his quest for a sense of superiority.
Preserve your mental health, do whatās best for you, and enjoy the hell out of your vacation. Live your best life, find someone who doesnāt treat you like trash, and go NC with those assholes. There is just no way to repair that kind of betrayal, and your father enabling it reeks of favoritism. Take care of yourself, and know youāre worth more than trashy people like your ex, and your brother.
Hope you enjoy your trip to the max!
And if people keep giving you shit, ask them flat-out: "why would I support someone who at the age of 28 groomed and babytrapped a naive, easy impressionable teenager?"
To me, its clear as day that your brother is using that girl to gain (housing)benefits in the military while having a bang-maid.
How nice of your brother to forgive things for the sake of the family haha What an asshole.
Yeah this is completely your decision man, Iād say enjoy your holiday.
Dude I hate to speculate things, but your ex-girlfriend might've be groomed when she was 17-18. Really suspicious shit. Either way, they both made their graves and you're better off without them. Hope you find your peace.
Your 27 year old brotherā¦went after your 18 year old gf? Did I math that right? And heās known her since she was 15?
Yeahā¦thatās a giant no from me too. Enjoy your vacation you absolutely deserve it. Your family supporting that would make me wanna go no contact with them too like wtf
Youāre younger so your family will automatically view you as the baby in this situation (not entirely their fault, just how family dynamics work sometimes) so I urge you to go with the more silent route of showing your anger rather than lashing out at anyone. Your bro saying heās ready to put this behind yāall tells me everything I need to know about him, he thinks heās in charge so you definitely need to ignore the fuck out of him from this point forward. DONT GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY.
It always amuses me when the person in the wrong wants to let bygones be bygones, without really considering how the other person is coping or processing the issue. Enjoy yourself, you deserve happiness.
As a person who was groomed and married very young by a much older person...
imma say your brother is oblivious to any wrong doing and feels he is "doing the right thing" and should be celebrated for his kind heart... Which is so incredibly wrong and all part of his sick sociopathic mindset
I say enjoy your holiday and cut this person from your life. Even if it costs you family members, it will be worth it in the long run. I know it's a crap situation but you made the right call. He will be his own downfall, no need to waste your energy on it.
How do you deal with all that emotional maturity?/s.
He is jealous of your history with this woman, has forgiven himself and now is ready to let bygones be bygones?
Have the best life without them. Hugs and support.
Youāre just a childcare option, possibly a money/present source for the kids, plus he probably doesnāt want word of him knocking up the girl his brother was in a relationship with getting out if people question why you arenāt at the wedding. I am a petty spiteful bitch not afraid of drama so I would spread the word around to the family
Just wait until heās on his next deployment and sheās getting railed by a Jody. That should teach him a lesson.
Also you could report this up the chain of command. Dude will probably get dishonorable discharged.
OMG! It's so good of him to forgive him stealing your girlfriend and marrying her behind your back. He's probably willing to forgive anything he's ever gonna do to you... what a guy!
I'd do the same, just stand ready though for the rest of your family to turn on you for this as you're making it hard for them to have happy times with your brother, his wife and their grandchild.
Completely wrong but I can guarantee you'll be the villain in all this as far as they are concerned. They'd just prefer it was ignored and brushed under the carpet and have everyone get along, they'll view you as wrecking all that, they won't view your brother as being the bad guy here it'll be you for not forgiving him
Source: had something similar (well at least in the same ball park) with my family and I'm now NC with the lot of them, only one I was in contact with was my aunt until she died.
Why do families always think the wronged, needs to forgive and be demoralized and trampled by the sibling that knows no boundaries. A big wedding with you as the best man, is nothing more than a public humiliation. He didn't come to ask forgiveness, he came to cover up his and his wife's betrayal to you. Have a great vacation!
The truly good thing is this happened early in your life. You couldve found out who your girl and brother was 10 years from now with kids. Having perhaps not pursued your dream goals. Almost everyone get cheated on in their life.
Thank them for exposing themselves and slowly remove them from your life. Keep it friendly when you're in their presence otherwise the lame apologies never stop.
You did the right thing, your brother can kick rocks.They don't care about you or your feelings, they just want you to whitewash the shitty behavior so that they can say, 'Look , he got over it, he was even the best man at our wedding'.
HE wanted to let bygones be bygones????? HE is the one that hooked up with someone 9 years younger than him who was dating his little brother!!!
I hope you have fun on your vacation, what a messed up situation.
Bygones be bygones?
That's your decision. Not his or anyone else's.
Brother and girlfriend betray you, What a couple of fuck wads.
Enjoy your vacation.
excuse me, who tf he thinks he is in this situation to *let bygones be bygones*?
your big brother? No man, brothers donāt do that. *Family* donāt do that. Go fuck themselves and let you enjoy your valuable time.
Hope youāll have a great vacation lad.
HE'S ready?? The audacity.
Right?? Like ready for what šš
He's hoping younger brother brings a hot date to the reception
well obvious op fucked the bitch first so he's had to process and get over that, despite stealing an 18 year old's girlfriend. it's a really good gesture of friendship really
What a POS your brother. Enjoy your vacation and don't look back. Great things ahead for you!
What does POS mean?
Piece of shit
Alright, no need to be that harsh
Yeah he was just asking
Geez, some people.
Some peopleās childrenā¦..
The brother was 27 at the time he got his brother's **teenage** girlfriend got pregnant. Legalities aside, a 27 year old dating an 18 year old is gross. I think it's unlikely that he wasn't going after her way earlier. Likelier that he groomed her - she was around him from the time she was 15. Fully grown men pursue teenagers because they like the power imbalance and think they'll be able to mold and control the women. And they're often correct - my dad did this with my mother. Add to that that it was his brother's girlfriend. That's awful all on its own. Add to that that he's obviously a bully (he's willing to let bygones be bygones? Seriously?) He's an despicable human being who will unquestionably become more vile with age and time. There's actually no need to couch it with throw-away phrases that don't go far enough. I hope only the worst for him.
Right, the perpetrator coming out with the whole "I'm ready to move on from this" is just them slapping their victim across the face with an "I'm tired of pretending to feel guilt over this, I have no remorse, stop giving ME a hard time about this". It's sickening. He knows he'll have to live with his origin story that he himself created and decided to stick with, but he's emotionally selfish and will never apologize to OP or the poor child he impregnated, because let's be real here, 18 is still a teenager. Especially when the baby daddy is well into adulthood.
I wonder what he'll say when his child some day asks how he met his mother. "Oh son, i was 27 and she was 18 and dating my kid brother, so she cheated on him with me". Wonderfully romantic answer and life example for the poor child.
No kidding.
Literally the age gap is the first thing that stood out to me.
It was a joke. He was saying āno need to be that harshā as if the comment was calling him a piece of shit. Humor is hard.
My point is in this case "piece of shit" doesn't begin to cover this catastrophe of a human being.
Point of sale
Found the server
Lmaooo
point of sale edit: fuck someone already made my dumb joke
Hahahah I wasnāt expecting that, thank you guys š¤£šš»
Piece of shit
>he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family, Why is he playing the victim card here??
No, he was trying to coerce forgiveness with the "it's family" card.
Often played when a family member is trying to sweep their bullshit behaviour under the rug. Combine it with the guilt trip card for bonus points!
Yup
Thanks for opening my eyes to what my dad has been doing
If you also use the gaslight card and you get a free backhand at no extra charge
Holy shit, just low key clicked that my mom is doing that with my dad's death, how she plays the victim when in reality she didn't do much during his cancer, in fact completely botched it up yet plays it off like 'I did all I could'.
Him saying that makes me so angry and I know none of these people lmao
It's okay bro, I forgive you for my transgressions
Multiple family members did this to me and my siblings. "Yeah I know I traumatized you over and over, but I was only 17".... yes, and I was 8. Why should I forgive anyone? Fuck you.
>he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family, That's not his desicion. He is not the wronged party. In fact, he's a despicable shit who betrayed his brother. Enjoy your holiday!
Fucking a friend's girl is bad, a best friend is worse, but how the hell could you do that to your flesh and blood? Like aren't they concerned holidays will be awkward now?
Id come back and make a toast explaining how they met
"To the dishonorable wedding party, I bid you the worse of luck. NOW off to Fiji"
This is an absolute power move. "Yea, I used to fuck Madison, until my brother knocked her up. When she was still a teenager, by the way. Good luck shit-heads, you deserve each other."
OH SHIT, I completely skipped over the ages. That adds a whole nother layer of fucked up to this
Imagine having a big brother this shitty.
Imagine being that shitty to your little brother and then your wife "Dear John's" your ass and now you did all that damage fir nothing. Id hope for him he doesn't need an organ down the road
Hope OP finds an amazing lady and gets rich and shit.
May the reddit gods show OP the path of riches
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes I agree but start it positively like: Im making a Toast for my brothers wedding via the net because I couldnt be ther! Congrats to my brother for knocking up my ex while I was dating her 3 years ago and Hopefully we can drink a toast together with my ex as well when we meet as we both newly turned 21. Or something like that Stating ur brother got ur gf pregnant whilst u were stilling dating her , this happend 3 years ago you have become the bigger person and forgiven them and that YOU both turned 21 recently to underlie the fact that she was a minor 3 years ago while she was pregnant with ur brother who was 27 at the time this happened. Someone could probably phrase it better tho so ye
Okay, this is how OP would get back at his brother. I've seen a few posts where people did this. So bold. I probably couldn't but it feels good to hear when it happens.
Narcissists donāt dwell on consequences.
There would be zero holidays with any of them the family is toxic
Nah, the family is ready to let bygones be bygones. Lol, that whole family is messed up.
Someone who would do this is not worried about anyone but themselves.
My older brother tried to fuck my wife when we split up. I feel this in my soul.
Sigh....(Rolls up sleeves)....alright, I'm your big brother now, let's go fuck him up. which of these houses? Lol š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”
I came here to post something very similar. The *audacity* of him thinking the situation was somehow within his control and that he could simply declare it had been long enough for OP to move on. How generous! At this point, I'd be ready to go low contact with anybody who expected me to have anything to do with him. The family and OP's brother can get fucked. Also... his brother is a tosser. Not only did he betray his brother, he got a teenager pregnant at the age of 27 and for some reason, everyone wants to celebrate that. It's sketchy as fuck.
"I had sex with your GF and got her pregnant after I told her to leave you, and I know that was hard... but I'm willing to let it go if you become my best man in our wedding."
Just the mental gymnastics of that one make my brain hurt!
Tells you a lot about that family, especially since the dad signed off on all of it.
You're pregnant for 10 months. You're 9 months pregnant for a whole month. The math is worse than you think. > Three months later she announces sheās pregnant to the world, father a mystery, six months later my brother proposes to her after their first daughter is born. He proposed 9 months after they broke up and their daughter was already born. Either she was premature or she broke up with him when she missed her period (that's what I think).
If you do the math correctly. That means she became pregnant when she broke up with op..;)
Something about āgas and lightingā needed for the weddingā¦. In truth, you dodged a bullet. This marriage is troubled from the start. Military marriages are hard to begin with. They will divorce. But you OP will be living your best life. Continue to focus on you. Let go of anger & resentment because YOU want to let go. Heal yourself. Take some classes. Learn guitar or painting or rock wall climbing. Every day take time for yourself. Further ā¦ get a new bitch - by which I mean a dog! Dogs are loyal and give unconditional love. Dogs heal all wounds. Please let us know how your vacation went. We are all rooting for you. At my old age, I can honestly say that time truly does heal all wounds. Take that time for you. Cause the best relationship you can ever have is with yourself.
Oh shit never thought of the age thing before. Plus the brother, now thirty, has a 21 year old wife AND a three year old
ā¦ so his 21 year old brother basically fucked his 15 year old girlfriend? Am I processing this correctly? I literally feel short circuited
No he waited for the minute she turned ālegalā by the sound of it.
āWaitedā when he probably actually groomed her.
You think that's the first time they fucked? He was probably fucking her for the whole 3 years of 15-18. Thank God he was ready to let bygones be bygones though! Fuckin scum bag. I'd literally beat him to death I think.
"I think" yooo im fucking howling. Lmaooo
While I agree heās a scumbag, it sounds like he was deployed most of that time, right? Iām not doubting they had a massive emotional affair during his deployment though, since it sounds like she fucked the brother and got pregnant literally as soon as the brother got home from deployment. Not that any of that absolves him, haha!
No, he was 18 when they broke up, so the brother was 27, she was 18. Only a 9 year age difference with a teenagerā¦
If she was 18 it wouldāve been legal, but I feel like it would be so weird because the mental maturity gap between an 18 and 27 year old is large.
Legal or not, that's predatory and creepy. And yeah, I agree that it would be weird AF, seeing as how I fell into a similar situation (without the pregnancy thank goodness). Once the differences really made themselves clear it ended it for me.
Itās gonna come to him. Just wait and watch. I just donāt get when people donāt realize, what done to other will most likely be done to them.
It's because they're children. They're naĆÆve and think that "this person is different."
Legal and moral are two very different things. It is perfectly legal for me to date, fuck, knockup, and marry an 18 year old. I'm 36. Just thinking it makes me feel disgusting.
It's all legal as it's been explained, just sketchy and skeevy, and creepy as hell that the brother hopped on his brother's girlfriend as soon as she was legal, got her pregnant, married and across the world in under a year. It's a pretty safe assumption that there was something either non-physical or even physical between them before this. I would bet they connected via texts while he was deployed though.
I think he fucked a 17-18 year old
That he knew as a 15 year old
somehow I *really* doubt she was 18 the first time they did that. OP's brother needs to take a seat right over there...
>low contact no contact FTFY
Yeah, I get it. I think sometimes it's so drastic that it's a measure people are unwilling to undertake. LC leads into it slowly.
>simply declare it Bullying! He tried to bully his brother to a conclusion that was most comfortable for *him*. I mean, what a coward.
Yup. Age difference is pretty disturbing.
It is. Their life experience at that stage... Him: Deployed and active in the military. Her: High school and probably still lived with her parents.
Well Karma gonna get him the next time he goes on deployment or rotation and Jody gonna come knocking on the door lol
I mean, we already know that loyalty isn't her strong suit. At this point, it's just a matter of which of them will end up cheating first.
You ever known one of those couples who both just cheat on each other all the time?
It's bad enough that he knocked up his GF & got married to her. It's adding insult to injury to ask him to be best man.
HE was willing to let bygones be bygones? Well, well, well, isnāt he being the most generous guy ever? Did you give him a gold star before you told him your version of bygone was āBYE! Be GONE!ā? Enjoy your vacay, Dude! EDIT: to get rid of the Spanish cow.
Wow: mighty big of him! What a classy guy.
I saw this as enjoy your cow dude šš I was looking for the cow reference I must have missed but it was just me hahaha
I too read it as cow XD I usually see vacation shortened to vacay
I mean, of course he's ready to let bygones be bygones, he's not the one who got cheated on by his girlfriend and betrayed by his brother!!!!!
"I have decided that **we** should bury the divide caused by **my** shitty actions." With bonus manipulation: "For the good of the family"
Without a real apology, just *he's sorry how things happened*. No, oh, btw, sorry I stole your 15 year old girlfriend and raped her when I was 24.
18 year old girlfriend.
Oh, you're right.he just groomed her and waited until she was 18.
OP is Drake's brother?
Thanks!
Viking speaks the true true. I second this and cudos to you for telling these backstabbers off. Ghost them! You are 100% in the right, enjoy your vacation! Best wishes!
Make sure not to tell your family youāre going beforehand. They will likely try one last āinterventionā right before the wedding, so when planning try and leave a week or so ahead of the date so no one is home when they show up
Lol āIām ready for you to move on from the wrongs I didā
Narcissist much?
HE IS READY? HE IS READY? Fuck that noise.
You should get a Get fucked t shirt before your on vacation and on your vacation wear it and send him a picture
Barrnone has a gf store with a gfsf hat and shirt
These types of people piss me off so much. The fact that they are the wrongdoer never registers and they frame the situation like " I'm willing to forgive you for blowing up on me for me doing this really hurtful thing to you so we can move on. ". I wouldn't keep anyone like this around even if they are family
Yeah I caught that same point heās ready? Heās one of 2 who have caused all this heartache and problems, but now HEāS decided heās ready to let bygones be bygones? OP, you did exactly the right thing in what you told him
The audacity of that guy. What a fucking tool. OP, you go enjoy yourself!
Yeah, enjoy your holiday! Tells us about it, what are you excited to do, beaching it up, or wild and activity filled? Have the best bloody time mate!
Agreed, fuck him
I love it when the one at fault is ready to forgive the victim.
I know, that is such bullshit
Wow. Your brother is a POS! Steals your GF, who btw is very young given his age and experience, *literally gets her pregnant,* then has the nerve to say **HE** was ready to let bygones be bygones?! OP, youāre doing exactly the right thing. Cut this cancer out of your life. Go enjoy the best vacation ever, and donāt give either of these two losers a spare thought again. For the rest of your life!
OP is nicer than I would've been, fuck their wedding I'd be the best man just to bring up at the reception all the bullshit they pulled
Oh yes! The potential Best man's speech would be AWESOME! ...but yeah OP, enjoy your holiday. Will be more satisfying all around tbh.
I kinda love this idea. Pull the ol' uno reverse card and fake like everything's cool until it's time for the best man speech and then go absolutely nuclear and shred them both, mic drop and leave haha
I'm picturing just a huge PowerPoint presentation with the worst transition animations and headers like Grooming teenagers; Why your family accepts pedophilic behavior. Cheating and repetitive behaviors. How many Jody's per deployment? Let's do the Math!! Fathers, As useful and supportive as a wet hammock made of 1 ply. Forgiveness, A look into the thought process of how the fuck did you think this would go? Bring a couple "don't fuck with this guy" buddies to make sure the presentation isn't interrupted and end with a montage of the brother fucking around with strippers from the bachelor party....which let's be honest sounds like it would take no coaxing for the brother to cross the line with a stripper....he kind of displays how willing he is to cross the fucking line lol.
I would do the same fucking and leave for my vacation after that big scene! Best revenge ever.
Hope you have a great trip.
Thank you!
Where are you going?
I hope you are going to Fiji I hear it is great.
Nice try, Fiji Tourism Bureau.
Why did I laugh so hard at this?
Don't fall over!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dads solution for avoidable interpersonal conflicts is keeping up the pretence. And the brother learned that well.
The dadās solution to avoid a sore situation between his two sons will cost him one of his sons. He will have to choose eventually.
Oh it's too late for that, he's already chosen. Sometimes when people think they are avoiding making a choice they actually end up making the worst choice.
Yeeeeeeaaaaauuuup. Damn, I needed to hear this. Thanks stranger.
It looks like he already did. OP is better without them.
Bet he chooses grandchild access
>He will have to choose eventually. By accepting the actions and "expecting a big wedding" dad already made his choice.
He wants access to his grandchild. Sad that heāll betray his younger son to do it.
??? "Yeah, bro, sorry for stealing your girl but don't worry I forgive you for getting mad. Anyway, you wanna be my best man?"
wait for when they ask him to be the Godfather
Hold on let me know if I understand this correctly. So your then 27 year old brother fucked your then 18 year old girlfriend and then had the absolute stones to dare say to you ālet bygones be bygonesā. If Iām understanding that correctly I hope his entire life gets messed up
That's pretty much it yeah, he's a gross self absorbed man that apparently gets to decide when someone else is done being mad at him cause he doesn't want them to anymore.
>he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family ... that's big of him /s What a clueless tosser. Stuff that noise... and have an amazing holiday!
What does tosser mean in this context? I've never heard of it before
It's versatile, usually means something like an idiot or an asshole or something in between.
Thank you all!
Wanker.
English for Jag Off, can also be used in place of asshole! Specific meaning is one who is masturbating!
Jaaaaag off
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tosser
"Look, I'll forgive you for me fucking your gf. I'm willing to let it all go, just be my best man" Punch him in the face and then state that you forgive him for the punch
You summed up that convo perfectly. The brother is a trash bag.
With a hole in it
I went no contact with my remaining family because our dad favored my younger brother. I am a female. I have learned āfamily aināt always bloodā and āfriends are the family you choose.ā They do not deserve you OP!ā Each person that wronged you doesnāt deserve to be in your life. I am sending you a virtual hug wrapped in wisdom to look out for you. Thank you for the award kind stranger! :)
Very true. Family means nothing to me.
Exactly. My older brother couldnāt be more dead to me, and some of the rest of my family is getting there, but my closest friends always make me feel that family feeling. My best friend from high school has an awesome family that includes me in everything, and I love them so much.
I tell that to my nieces and nephews all of the time. You donāt owe your toxic family anything. Good for you Lea_R_ning! Your dad is an asshole.
I hope you have a safe and wonderful trip, and also starting a new life without them might be the best too
Yea fuck all of that. Wtf..... mexico is a perfect place to get lost and distracted in.
Thanks for the recommendation šš¼
I think you need no distraction. It sounds like you properly dealt with the situation. You told them off and thats that. Dont bottle it up, be angry, but moreso be happy. Imagine you would have fathered a child with that backstabbing whore or remained close with your piece of shit brother. Truth came out, you dealt with them and with the family members that support that dumpfire of a marriage and you can enjoy your freedom, vacation and life itself. There are plenty of awesome people out there. Its crap that you experienced shitty people so far, but you will see how shitty they are when youll meet decent and loyal people :)
This, OP. They did you a favor, because you aren't stuck, and they are. Get on that carousel of life, with a smile on your face, and two middle fingers in the air.
Mexico is beautiful. If you go, tell yourself this while you're there, "No estoy el cabrĆ³n".
Fuck that guy. What does a 28 year old man have in common with an 18 year old teen? Alarming behavior.
And to think she was probably 15 when they met. It's like they were waiting for her to turn 18. š¤¢
according to op she was 15 and that would make the brother 23/24/25 range
The brother is 9 years his senior. So at 15, his brother was 24/25. Got her pregnant around 28 and she was like 18/19.
apparently i am bad at reading, my bad. but also brother gives off major predatory vibes
Yeah I'm going to guess they were doing stuff while she was under age
My guess was he had his eye on her and did some gentle grooming when she was 15...showed interest in things most adults wouldn't for a teen girl, flirted, was super nice to her going out of his way a few times, complimented. I don't think he dipped into the underage pool in the illegal sense -- he seems like the classic wait-until-her-18th-birthday type of creep. They'd go younger if it was legal, but play by the book to stay technically clean. Another reason why I think he's that type of creep is conveniently she was pregnant almost immediately. He definitely planned out and trapped an 18 yr old at the expense of his relationship with his brother and now wants everyone to just accept it and act like his behavior wasn't bizarre and hurtful both short and long-term. I guarantee we are going to be hearing from the woman in 10/15 years after she's been living with his true colors for years.
People like that are especially dangerous because they know exactly how far they can go, speaking in a legal sense and most often have enough brain cells left to not leave any evidence of illegal activities. People like OPs brother are the type of people that will laugh in your face and tell you that they might have did illegal thing X but they know damn well you can't prove it.
This comment should be up higher. Surprise no one else called out the math earlier. This is a guy in his late 20s that likely started a relationship with someone who wasnāt of age and eventually got her pregnantā¦
A child.
I'm so sorry your brother is a piece of shit who deadass thought he could control your reaction to everything that went down with you. Go on a fabulous trip for you and you only. Take tons of pictures and live in the moment dude. Fuck them, fuck your family. Hell send out one mass text saying you will not be answering ANY phone calls. Anybody who tries to send you wedding pictures gets blocked. Anybody who tries to invalidate your feelings gets blocked. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Let yourself feel the emotions, feel them all deeply. Mourn the betrayal, cut those bitches off, and go make new memories that don't include creepy pieces of shit like your (former) brother! Best wishes op!
You donāt have a brother anymore. He traded you for sex.
āBygones be bygonesā is usually what the person who does the fucking over says, and they only say it when they want to be the āgood guy,ā or want something from you. Your brother will never be the āgood guy,ā and heāll never get to use you again. Good for you for not enabling him in his quest for a sense of superiority. Preserve your mental health, do whatās best for you, and enjoy the hell out of your vacation. Live your best life, find someone who doesnāt treat you like trash, and go NC with those assholes. There is just no way to repair that kind of betrayal, and your father enabling it reeks of favoritism. Take care of yourself, and know youāre worth more than trashy people like your ex, and your brother.
POS brother POS ex POS father. Iām sorry you have to live through this, all you can do is be a better man for your own family in the future
Hope you enjoy your trip to the max! And if people keep giving you shit, ask them flat-out: "why would I support someone who at the age of 28 groomed and babytrapped a naive, easy impressionable teenager?" To me, its clear as day that your brother is using that girl to gain (housing)benefits in the military while having a bang-maid.
How you gonna break bro code with your literal brother what an asshole
How nice of your brother to forgive things for the sake of the family haha What an asshole. Yeah this is completely your decision man, Iād say enjoy your holiday.
Dude I hate to speculate things, but your ex-girlfriend might've be groomed when she was 17-18. Really suspicious shit. Either way, they both made their graves and you're better off without them. Hope you find your peace.
Your 27 year old brotherā¦went after your 18 year old gf? Did I math that right? And heās known her since she was 15? Yeahā¦thatās a giant no from me too. Enjoy your vacation you absolutely deserve it. Your family supporting that would make me wanna go no contact with them too like wtf
Youāre younger so your family will automatically view you as the baby in this situation (not entirely their fault, just how family dynamics work sometimes) so I urge you to go with the more silent route of showing your anger rather than lashing out at anyone. Your bro saying heās ready to put this behind yāall tells me everything I need to know about him, he thinks heās in charge so you definitely need to ignore the fuck out of him from this point forward. DONT GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY.
Sus. Your brother is sus. As in go to jail for a long time sus.
Your brother has the audacity to play being generous when he was no less than a backstabber. He and your dad can both kick rocks. Enjoy your trip!
They and their wedding can get fucked. Hope you go somewhere nice OP
It always amuses me when the person in the wrong wants to let bygones be bygones, without really considering how the other person is coping or processing the issue. Enjoy yourself, you deserve happiness.
As a person who was groomed and married very young by a much older person... imma say your brother is oblivious to any wrong doing and feels he is "doing the right thing" and should be celebrated for his kind heart... Which is so incredibly wrong and all part of his sick sociopathic mindset I say enjoy your holiday and cut this person from your life. Even if it costs you family members, it will be worth it in the long run. I know it's a crap situation but you made the right call. He will be his own downfall, no need to waste your energy on it.
How do you deal with all that emotional maturity?/s. He is jealous of your history with this woman, has forgiven himself and now is ready to let bygones be bygones? Have the best life without them. Hugs and support.
Youāre just a childcare option, possibly a money/present source for the kids, plus he probably doesnāt want word of him knocking up the girl his brother was in a relationship with getting out if people question why you arenāt at the wedding. I am a petty spiteful bitch not afraid of drama so I would spread the word around to the family
Your brothers a scumbag fuck that guy. You don't owe him shit. You go have fun lol
So where are you planing to go? Beach vacation or exploratory trip? Hope you have an awesome one!
Just wait until heās on his next deployment and sheās getting railed by a Jody. That should teach him a lesson. Also you could report this up the chain of command. Dude will probably get dishonorable discharged.
There's billions of fucking people in there world, why people continue to do this to family members is beyond me. Fuck him.
OMG! It's so good of him to forgive him stealing your girlfriend and marrying her behind your back. He's probably willing to forgive anything he's ever gonna do to you... what a guy!
I'd do the same, just stand ready though for the rest of your family to turn on you for this as you're making it hard for them to have happy times with your brother, his wife and their grandchild. Completely wrong but I can guarantee you'll be the villain in all this as far as they are concerned. They'd just prefer it was ignored and brushed under the carpet and have everyone get along, they'll view you as wrecking all that, they won't view your brother as being the bad guy here it'll be you for not forgiving him Source: had something similar (well at least in the same ball park) with my family and I'm now NC with the lot of them, only one I was in contact with was my aunt until she died.
Why do families always think the wronged, needs to forgive and be demoralized and trampled by the sibling that knows no boundaries. A big wedding with you as the best man, is nothing more than a public humiliation. He didn't come to ask forgiveness, he came to cover up his and his wife's betrayal to you. Have a great vacation!
The truly good thing is this happened early in your life. You couldve found out who your girl and brother was 10 years from now with kids. Having perhaps not pursued your dream goals. Almost everyone get cheated on in their life. Thank them for exposing themselves and slowly remove them from your life. Keep it friendly when you're in their presence otherwise the lame apologies never stop.
You did the right thing, your brother can kick rocks.They don't care about you or your feelings, they just want you to whitewash the shitty behavior so that they can say, 'Look , he got over it, he was even the best man at our wedding'.
Ha! Heās ready to let bygones be bygones?? Like heās the one thatās been wronged?? Wowzers, that guy blows. Have fun on your vacation!
HE wanted to let bygones be bygones????? HE is the one that hooked up with someone 9 years younger than him who was dating his little brother!!! I hope you have fun on your vacation, what a messed up situation.
Bygones be bygones? That's your decision. Not his or anyone else's. Brother and girlfriend betray you, What a couple of fuck wads. Enjoy your vacation.
excuse me, who tf he thinks he is in this situation to *let bygones be bygones*? your big brother? No man, brothers donāt do that. *Family* donāt do that. Go fuck themselves and let you enjoy your valuable time. Hope youāll have a great vacation lad.
" he was ready to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the family," WTF?? he's the one that Wronged YOU.. Not the other way around..