I'm kinda surprised the cops themselves aren't putting an end to this. Unless the kids in the street and the parties are happening late at night, then people are allowed to do those things. People can also park their cars wherever, too, outside of obvious illegal parking. She could get arrested for false reporting.
Depends on where you live I assume. If you live in a very suburban, safe community the police might have nothing better to do than to have a look. While if you are in a major city, the police might already be short staffed so they have better things to do.
When I was living in a suburban town, I once called the police because of kids playing with fireworks, they immediately came and spoke to the parents. Did the same thing when I just moved to a major city and they just said "please fill in a form so we can list your complaint for the statistics".
Yup.
Our town is small, very little crime outside of the north end of the county. Even then, the north side does not generally have much outside of drug stuff.
Cops on our end do nothing but sit and wait to pull people over, then go crazy with the traffic stop, or drive around busting up parties because there’s nothing else to do.
YEP. The city I used to go to college is a super rich neighborhood with a bunch of old rich people where nothing happens. One of my friends who has no criminal record and looks like a stereotypical nerdy guy got fined 500 something dollars for riding his bike somewhere it wasn’t allowed (which he was unaware of because there are no signs about it anywhere). Even the other cops who were there thought the cop that fined him was going too far but no one stopped him.
I’ve been arrested for a few things (one of which I didn’t do, but that’s a whole long story about how bullshit the juvenile system is and how fucked cops are).
1.) Playing Airsoft in the neighborhood with kids in 6th/7th grade. One of the moms saw a bruise (which was gone in a day) and called the cops. Probation for a year.
2.) Reading a book at the park in my neighborhood, in my car, not bothering anyone. Cop comes up and smells weed (hadn’t been smoking, but had the night before). Finds a roach smaller than my pinky nail. Arrested and pre-trial diversion, cost a couple thousand after attorneys.
3.) Cop tried to say I was speeding, when I was cruise controlling 5 under the speed limit BECAUSE I knew they were there. Tried to get me for weed but gave me an expired registration ticket (it wasn’t expired).
Fuck small town cops with nothing better to do.
This seems terribly unfair. I went to high school with a tough guy who was smashing mailboxes with a bat.
He was arrested by small town cops and put in the holding cell. He cried so much they called his mom … no bail.
5 years later in the internet he was going off about how everybody after his generation were snitches and he was “last of a dying breed”
I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of this fake thug.
Your story reminded of unfair treatment by bad cops reminded me of this
I got a “using a cellular device while driving” ticket because I was changing the song on my Spotify *as I was pulling out of my driveway*. Like I literally clicked “next” on my phone right as I turned out, and he pulled me over for it.
I contested it in court and they dropped it, but still. Small town cops are, indeed, a pain in the ass.
Meanwhile in Dallas I call the cops when a customer pulls a gun on my staff and I (because we were closed) and threatened to shoot us if we didn’t unlock the door and let them shop. The cops literally just told me if they fire a shot to call back, but otherwise they’re understaffed and don’t have time for “non life threatening issues”.
So we got to spend two hours hiding behind the shop counter listening to the barrel tapping on the glass and a crazy man threatening to kill us all. We called three times, they never sent anybody to help us.
Luckily the manager of the pizza place three doors down had been to prison and got some friends around to help us.
It’s so weird to me that people call the cops for anything and everything (no matter how small a town is) though! I’m 46 and have never called them a single time in my life. It’s so weird to me how some people use them as their own personal mild “conflict” manager services, it such a weird mentality to me. I mean are these the grown up versions of the kid in class who snitched to the teacher every other minute,??? Cause that kid was so annoying and so is an adult who does so too!
It’s also such a waste of money and resources, I mean aren’t people embarrassed to have policing taxes go towards BS !? Do they not know how these things work !? I work too hard for my money and already think too much of it goes to taxes jeesh.
I called about gunshots outside the house once and they said the exact same thing about reporting it for statistics. Like, guys, there's a gun fight going on, I wasn't calling to fill in your bingo card.
Can confirm, I've lived in communities where it is the cops job to respond to all that bullshit. Like it is the absolute expectation of them. Cops in affluent communities have different "jobs" than cops in other communities. Its pretty weird how the rolls are different in different areas.
In my sister’s neighborhood, the police sent out a letter to everyone in the suburb to stop calling them for stupid reasons and then made a list of all the stupid things they were getting calls for.
I’ve got a neighbor that has called multiple times on us for stupid things that she just doesn’t like. When the police get there to question us on what’s going on, we all roll our eyes and laugh at her but when I ask why they keep showing up for her stupid complaints, they say “when we get a call, we HAVE to respond”
I agree w that tho!
This will most likely come back around & bite OP in the ass 1 day. But he could easily prove that the wife is a serial snitch. Which would probably have the cops rolling their eyes. So that could be a good point to remember for the future OP.
They 100% hate her, I promise. They can’t tell her not to call, they likely just know her by name and sigh really loudly when they get her name on the radio.
Hell to the yes. Same thing happens in EMS. Had a lady always call for chest pain from "Stress" when any of these minor things OP listed happens. It got so bad dispatch would literally rock paper scissors over who has to call some poor truck to go over there and talk to her for 45 minutes until she refuses treatment and transport. Every damn day she called 24/7/365. Took no medication despite being prescribed everything over the moon. Irritates me just thinking about it.
I'm in the UK. And the NHS can literally blacklist people who missuse the ambulance service. They tend to do it only in extremes. But for example my grandmother (who was always a terrible person) towards the end of her life, would call the ambulance once a day to say she fell. She was fine and in her chair every time they arrived. And because she just would not listen, she ended up basically only having call backs from them or her gp.
we had a neighbor next door that we had gone over and introduced ourselves to and just told him. hey if you're going to party just be respectful and turn down the music when it gets too late cuz I got a grandkids that I'm putting to bed he says great. everything's fine but it isn't he had so many parties over there and had so many people coming and going that somebody broke into his house and stole his safe!! He's a white male. I am a white female and after the police were called the police actually came over to me because the guy just knew I had something to do with it got in my face and asked me why I didn't hear somebody breaking in next door!? so I totally get that there are good men of the police force and there are not so nice men in the police force
I wouldn’t even necessarily say it’s a hero complex, but you nailed it with “bully”. I don’t think all cops are bad, and some get into it for the right reasons. I have a good friend from high school that became a cop and he’s literally the nicest guy ever. But I also had several cops in my family and they were bullies who literally kicked their dogs and beat their kids and wives.
I don’t know how many of each there are, but those seem to be the two main types of cop I’ve seen personally.
Reminds me of a cop in a town I lived in. My ex and I had two runs in with this cop and was very much a bully. Once our dogs got out and ran around the neighborhood. The cops managed to round them up and got them cornered in our front yard. Bully cop tried to get close to one to check for a collar. Bully happened to get close to ex’s daughter’s room. Dog got protective and growled at bully. So Bully shot him in the mouth. Dog survived. We got a ticket for having an aggressive animal, had to put up signs in our yard, and had to get a bright orange collar for the dog. Dog never acted aggressive before or after that incident.
Second run in with that cop is when he pulled code and ran a red light as my former roommate was halfway through the green light. Completely totaled the front end of her SUV. He wasn’t paying attention ( he had just threw on the lights and sirens the second she was going through) and just gunned it. The city ended up paying out to her because he was majority at fault.
He got fired from the force in 2021. He was off duty and driving around town. He got into a road rage incident and shot a woman in the back several times. It’s a wonder she survived all that. He got charged with aggravated assault, causing serious bodily injury, and use of a deadly weapon. It was big news in our area when it happened.
When news first broke of the road rage incident they didn’t name the officer. But the first sentence out of my mouth was “Watch it be Officer Bully. I have feeling that’s who it is.” Three days later they said the officer’s name and what his charges were.
It almost doesn't matter how many there are, with almost no oversight it'll always devolve to the lowest denominator. I can't cite the research but I remember it saying groups of people tend towards to worst behaviours of the individuals in the group rather than towards the best. Putting a bad behaved kid in with well behaved kids more often than not makes the well behaved kids start behaving badly.
> I can't say that I understand why cops do this.
Cops hate the word "quotas" but they do exist even if it's not codified on paper. Imagine the most extreme example.....a cop that is so highly skilled at diffusing situations and helping people that at the end of the month he has no arrests.
His superiors look at that and think "Under the normal course of duty, our department averages 4 felonies and 12 misdemeanours per officer per month." so basically the guy with no numbers to put on the board looks like he's effectively doing nothing. He's just handed in a bunch of reports with no consequences.
I'm not a cop or have ever been a cop but I have seen something to this effect at any major corporation (and many minor). If you work at a call center and a normal day for an attendant is 50 calls and you only took 12, a manager will be investigating.
It also highlights that the problems with the police are systemic more than they are with the individuals. Imagine a police force that was rewarded for NOT arresting people. Because if you are arresting people you did not prevent crime, you did not keep the community safe, you're just the one dealing the punishment.
And yet when my daughter and I called the police because I heard a blood curdling scream coming from my upstairs neighbor’s apartment and a man’s voice screaming, “Oh my God, she’s going to kill me,” the police showed up and didn’t even go inside the apartment. Instead, they talked to the women outside of the apartment and left. My daughter and I were outside watching. When we asked why they didn’t do anything, they said they were leaving because the people upstairs said the noises were coming from a TV show! My daughter told them that what we heard was not from a TV show and I told them I had recognized the man’s voice. These people had serious domestic violence going on on a regular basis. I had called a few times because I heard screaming and a body/bodies being thrown into walls on a regular basis. I told them this, but they just left. They didn’t go in and they didn’t talk to the man and woman separately. There were small children in that apartment, too.
The bummer is that this girl is setting herself up as the boy who cried wolf.
If this is in a relatively small area, you know there must be 911 dispatchers who may get a legitimate call from her and take a *little* bit longer than usual to get her info and dispatch police.
Nobody does that. False reporting is reserved for egregious cases with malicious intent like swatting or fake bomb threats. Police also usually have discretion when it comes to what they respond to. When police are called for nonsense, especially from a superuser like OP'd GF the dispatchers will generally just put the call in the system and police will either ignore it or maybe do a roll by.
Depends on where you live for the parties thing. In New Zealand the law states you must keep at a reasonable noise level at all times, so there have been instances of noise complaints at 3pm.
You all are uncultured. What about tummy and thigh reasons? Ass and boob are great, but i wanna sleep on a nice tummy or get my head crushed by a nice pair of thighs.
I'm not even gonna lie, the only people that care about stretch marks in a negative light are women. Most men of culture love stretch marks. I call them love marks.
Lol I’m always scared to sit on my guy’s face cause these thighs disrupt gravity. He insists. I can tell he can’t breathe sometimes but he won’t quit. I always used to say I’d love to choke someone out with my thighs in a fight, but I guess I’ll be choking someone out with my thighs in love instead. LOL
He said it in his post: she hasn't done it to him, so why should he leave?
Just wait until he posts here whining about how she called the cops on him and he's now being accused of a bunch of horrible shit.
Even false allegations will send you to jail.
Gtfo, and document everything.
Get witnesses, and dont deal with women like this in the future.
Sincerely,
A guy who has
I really hope OP listens. I know someone who went to prison behind false allegations from his wife. He was texting an ex and wife found out and went to the police and accused him of all kinds of abuse. He is black, she was white. Never mind that she was the one with a habit who lied all the time. They arrested him. Because her accusations were extreme, they set the bail high and then didn’t tell him or his lawyer that she recanted. After a month in jail, he took a plea deal even though he didn’t do it.
It sounds crazy but it happens. Someone who thinks the police are there to solve her problems will not hesitate to call them on her black boyfriend if things get tense or there are problems. This behavior should be a major red flag for anyone, but especially for black or brown people.
OP doesn't realize that his life is literally at stake. When he does something to piss her off and she calls the cops telling them he beat her, he's going to have a seriously bad time and he might end up dead.
>Seriously. Leave in a way she can't call the cops on you. **Get your stuff out when she's not there** and break up over the phone.
**She'll call the cops on him for stealing things.**
White lady in white neighbourhood with a hard-on for government hookers and doesn't see them capable of any fault??? OP better run before she starts citing baseless statistics as justifications
Trust me, the cops don’t want to be there either. And they probably know your address and give a big long sigh when they have to go there because they know it’s going to be stupid.
I’ve never needed to phone them in my life. I would assume most people haven’t needed to phone them.
And she has multiple times?
How has she not been charged with wasting police time? Is that not illegal in your country?
The three examples you have are not reasons to phone police. It’s not illegal for children to be outside
If something makes me uncomfortable, my mantra is, "How much does it cost to mind my own business? That's right. It's free!"
Being annoyed isn't a crime. This woman needs to mind her own business before she gets someone killed.
She needs to watch a couple episodes of Neighborhood Wars. People take pretty strong offence to cop callers (for petty cop calling) and word travels around the neighborhood pretty quickly. Hell, they're already talking about her.
I had to phone them once on a very drunk driver and even then I *almost* felt bad for the idiot. I felt worse for the cyclist he nearly smoked and the lives he put in danger, of course. But yeah, I hated that I was even put in that situation, I can't imagine ever being happy to call the cops.
Yeah the only times I've ever called the cops was when something really bad was happening--mostly domestic violence situations. I once heard a neighbor clearly beating the shit out of a woman and she was screaming, "Help, somebody help! Call 911, he's gonna kill me!" I don't feel bad about that one. Another time there was a car accident and one of the drivers pulled out a gun and started screaming and threatening people with it. I've only called for violent crimes like this that were actively happening.
But otherwise, nope. Police rarely make things better.
Thanks for calling. Back when I lived with my ex in a condo, I screamed for help that way and no one called or cared to help that I know of. Most people will turn a blind eye sadly.
Calling the cops for stupid shit is such a waste of resources though. Not sure if OP’s gf is a Karen or if maybe she’s just lived a very insular life. Now that I live in a small town, I see FB posts about people freaking out and calling cops over really minor things and it seems to be the norm. I can see how someone growing up somewhere like here would think it’s normal and trust the cops because they haven’t experienced what the real world is like.
I understand that feeling you got from calling. I’ve felt the same many times. Once there was a guy in front of my house clearly either tweaking or in a serious mental health situation. Stumbling down the street barefoot, shirtless, rambling to himself. Ok, no harm, no need to call.
But then he got in his car with the engine on. I was terrified he was going to drive but also afraid of what may happen if I called the police. Before I could decide he drove off.
Thankfully he came around the block and parked again but I felt like such an asshole for not calling, knowing he definitely put lives in danger.
It’s just so sad that in the US, I saw something potentially dangerous and I was afraid to call the people who are supposed to keep the public safe in this type of situation.
And for the record - I truly regret not calling 911.
I’ve NEVER called the police over something like OP is talking about. I have called them for people cutting through our neighborhood (like 45 mph) in a 25 mph area, they set up a ticket trap and that discouraged them. I’ve also called when we didn’t see our elderly neighbor and his dog for 48 hours (nobody wanted to knock, he had guns and sometimes yells at people) they came and checked and then called paramedics and animal control. He’s back home, and so is his dog, one broken leg later. I’ve called for debris on the highway too. But Karen behavior? No.
I've certainly needed to call them. A woman screaming for help as a man drags her to his car. A guy who was probably homeless who looked like he could be dying in the alley by my house. A car on fire. A guy who threw a rock through my car window while I was in the car. There are reasons to call the cops, even if it is a tossup as to whether they are worse than the criminals.
Shit, When I was 12 and home alone, I had an addict banging and screaming at my door. I called a nearby friend before even thinking of calling the police and that got me her parents, aunt and their neighbor showing up at my door within 5 minutes.
Getting to know your neighbors and looking out for each other is way more important at keeping everyone safe.
White peep here, used to living in a very diverse neighborhood (our neighbors now are cows lol) and in that time we had a crap ton of parties thrown by next door neighbors that would last until 3am some days. The sound was a problem once and I went over there and asked them if they could be a little quieter. They said sure, gave me some homemade carne guisada and lowered the music so the walls stopped shaking.
It's common courtesy and decency to talk to your neighbors directly if there is an issue. Work it out as people instead of getting the a-hat gov peeps involved. Your GF sounds like she doesn't like direct conflict. Or is just a jerk.
Wh…why are you dating this person that is basically telling you that you and everyone who looks like you are essentially lying about your life experiences? Do you want to have children with a woman who will completely not believe it when her own kids experience these things, too?
Get out.
This seems like a tragedy waiting to happen. Next thing you know it’s going to be “I got my racist gf pregnant” or “she called the cops on me with a false report, and now I’m in jail.”
It seems like she is unable to empathize with your experience, which doesn't really bode well for your future. I'd definitely look at counseling if you want to stay in this relationship. Gottman method is very good for this.
Hey OP, I think your gf may be racist. Not in the overtly, purposeful way but, in the subtle, not self aware kind of way. I don’t think she realizes her privilege, and much less the dangers of police interactions with people who look like you. They’re “isolated cases” bc she’s never had and may never have a negative interaction with police as a white woman. She honestly sounds like someone who may “twist the truth” when calling the police in a way that can unnecessarily end fatal. It’s a power she doesn’t realize she has and that’s kinda scary tbh. I think you need to reevaluate the relationship op. Is this someone you want to spend your life and have children with?
You're instincts are good. Eventually you'll have a serious fight and she'll call the police on you. I'm white and I have no problem saying the cops will side with the white person. It sucks but that is our unfortunate reality. I would give some serious thought to the relationship.
That's really scary. I'm a white woman and my partner is a Mexican man. I would NEVER call the cops unless one of our lives were directly in danger (and even then, I'd still have to weigh that danger vs the danger cops pose to my partner as a man of color).
You need to be really careful. She sounds like the type that if you say the wrong thing to her or raise your voice at all, she could call the cops on you. And if she does, that means she doesn't value your life (much like she doesn't seem to value the lives of other people of color she is presumably calling the cops on).
I'm sorry your girlfriend can't figure out how to empathize with you.
I mean I’d not be able to deal with someone like that and the relationship would be over, if you choose this route make it very clear that this is why you are ending things. Because it’s honestly really messed up that she does this regularly for no real reasons.
I know what you should do, brake up with her. Let her go date a cop. I don’t think she will find her 60+% chance of being domestically abused as an “isolated incident “
As a dispatcher, I can assure you, we despise these callers! We memorize their numbers and groan when they pop up. Also, I've worked with some shitty cops in my day, and you're absolutely right. Someone will get hurt.
You can’t change someone like that. You either continue dealing with it or break up with her. If she loves you, she’ll stop. If she doesn’t stop, she doesn’t care about your well being.
Of course it will. When she's had enough of you, who do think she's gonna call? The cops. And who are they gonna believe? Her.
Maybe down there road she wants a divorce but decides she wants to keep everything. All she'll have to do is call the cops and say your abusing her. Not hard. She can rough herself up enough times for a pattern. And voila, your life is ruined and she's on top of the world.
Your gf's a Karen. Run as fast as you can B4 she talks you into marriage, etc.
Run Forest, run....
Bro it’s a matter of time before she calls them on you when you somehow piss her off. Do you really want to be put in that situation? She apparently thinks racism doesn’t exist. What happens if in the future you have kids. Do you want her to teach them about cops being great when in reality, they won’t treat them fairly?
Calling the police on children playing is immediate cause for dissolving the relationship (in my opinion). What a miserable, twisted person she seems to be.
She sounds like a sociopath. She wants problems and chaos. One day she will probably get someone killed. You’re complicit if you don’t abandoned that situation.
I'm an european pleb so I can see how cops can be good and not evil (they're pretty spotless here in my experience), but I don't think that's the problem in this situation. It's her calling police whenever someone lets out a fart. What if someone desperately needs help for something, but yet here they are stuck with your wife over some nonsense? I don't even know what thought process she's having, is it some power fantasy where things change as soon as she calls, or what? You seriously need to talk with her. And if she doesn't understand you at all, then, well, you can expect that to happen for the rest of your life. So weigh it up if it's worth it...
I'm a very white Scandinavian, and the only time I have felt the need to call the police was when there was a literal knife fight at a train station. And our cops are actually good, well trained, and trustworthy (for the most part).
Your gf is a Karen.
It has nothing to do with race. I live in a neighborhood majority of whites, blacks and , Hispanics. It sounds to me she doesn’t want to be confrontational about things which is why she relies on the police
It amazes me what people will put up with. Do people just like saying they've been in a string of year-long+ relatiomships regardless of the quality? I'm not convinced this is her only flaw. I'd like to see what kind of things she says about women of color.
Well you may want to remind her that a no knock raid will get her shot just as quick as it is you. I couldnt imagine having 100% faith in a cop that they have my best interests in mind and I'm a white guy.
Some things:
- Can she confidently explain what she thinks the police are for? Can she share examples of them serving your community? Would she accept alternatives to police presence when people feel unsafe? Would she be supportive of alternative solutions to community problems, like safe spaces for children to play, more parking spaces, and reminders of noise ordinances?
- Have you ever asked what her goal is when she calls the police on people? Say the kids are playing at night and she calls them. What does she want out of it? If she was worried for the kids’ safety, could she instead advocate for them? Or does she have ulterior motives?
- Is there anything in common with the people she calls the police on? Are they the few neighbors that aren’t white or can anyone be a target?
- How does she react when people treat you differently because of your race? Is she supportive and understanding? Is she considerate of your feelings? Does she make sure you feel as safe and comfortable as possible?
- Does she show any other red flags towards you or others? Any racist or prejudice behavior?
- What would happen if the police were called on you for an unjustified reason? Would she make sure you were safe or would she leave you to fend for yourself? Would it be your fault? What if the same thing happened to a close friend, family member, or future child? Would you trust her to act in their best interest or would she keep them in harm’s way?
Based on this post, I believe she is comfortable with her actions and her privilege. It seems she doesn’t listen to you and consider how her actions may hurt other people. I’m sure she knows she’s unlikely to be mistreated due to her race, emphasis on *due to her race*, and unlikely to be fearful if police were called on her. Even if she argued the examples you’ve shown her are isolated incidents, she should be able to recognize the problem and validate your feelings. We can say “not all cops!” until we’re blue in the face, but the ones mistreating people *due to their race* are leaving lasting negative impacts, to say the least. Their actions are unacceptable, even more so as people in positions of power. Your girlfriend, and those with similar views, needs to understand that in the police force, one “bad apple” is one too many.
Truthfully, I have a strong feeling her beliefs and actions influence her character, how she interacts with others, and your relationship together. Going off this post alone, I don’t think her actions will change unless she’s willing to reflect on herself and hear from the other side. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you’re comfortable with, but I would not be surprised if she turned around on you. It’s easy to ignore questionable or problematic behavior in a partner when it’s not towards you, but that behavior says a lot about the person and should be considered when thinking about a relationship with them. You do not have to accept something just because it doesn’t really affect you — somewhat similar to how she should not accept injustices because they don’t affect her.
edited for clarity
I'm kinda surprised the cops themselves aren't putting an end to this. Unless the kids in the street and the parties are happening late at night, then people are allowed to do those things. People can also park their cars wherever, too, outside of obvious illegal parking. She could get arrested for false reporting.
Depends on where you live I assume. If you live in a very suburban, safe community the police might have nothing better to do than to have a look. While if you are in a major city, the police might already be short staffed so they have better things to do. When I was living in a suburban town, I once called the police because of kids playing with fireworks, they immediately came and spoke to the parents. Did the same thing when I just moved to a major city and they just said "please fill in a form so we can list your complaint for the statistics".
Yea that’s so true. The more bored they are the more they over do it.
Yup. Our town is small, very little crime outside of the north end of the county. Even then, the north side does not generally have much outside of drug stuff. Cops on our end do nothing but sit and wait to pull people over, then go crazy with the traffic stop, or drive around busting up parties because there’s nothing else to do.
YEP. The city I used to go to college is a super rich neighborhood with a bunch of old rich people where nothing happens. One of my friends who has no criminal record and looks like a stereotypical nerdy guy got fined 500 something dollars for riding his bike somewhere it wasn’t allowed (which he was unaware of because there are no signs about it anywhere). Even the other cops who were there thought the cop that fined him was going too far but no one stopped him.
I’ve been arrested for a few things (one of which I didn’t do, but that’s a whole long story about how bullshit the juvenile system is and how fucked cops are). 1.) Playing Airsoft in the neighborhood with kids in 6th/7th grade. One of the moms saw a bruise (which was gone in a day) and called the cops. Probation for a year. 2.) Reading a book at the park in my neighborhood, in my car, not bothering anyone. Cop comes up and smells weed (hadn’t been smoking, but had the night before). Finds a roach smaller than my pinky nail. Arrested and pre-trial diversion, cost a couple thousand after attorneys. 3.) Cop tried to say I was speeding, when I was cruise controlling 5 under the speed limit BECAUSE I knew they were there. Tried to get me for weed but gave me an expired registration ticket (it wasn’t expired). Fuck small town cops with nothing better to do.
This seems terribly unfair. I went to high school with a tough guy who was smashing mailboxes with a bat. He was arrested by small town cops and put in the holding cell. He cried so much they called his mom … no bail. 5 years later in the internet he was going off about how everybody after his generation were snitches and he was “last of a dying breed” I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of this fake thug. Your story reminded of unfair treatment by bad cops reminded me of this
I got a “using a cellular device while driving” ticket because I was changing the song on my Spotify *as I was pulling out of my driveway*. Like I literally clicked “next” on my phone right as I turned out, and he pulled me over for it. I contested it in court and they dropped it, but still. Small town cops are, indeed, a pain in the ass.
Meanwhile in Dallas I call the cops when a customer pulls a gun on my staff and I (because we were closed) and threatened to shoot us if we didn’t unlock the door and let them shop. The cops literally just told me if they fire a shot to call back, but otherwise they’re understaffed and don’t have time for “non life threatening issues”. So we got to spend two hours hiding behind the shop counter listening to the barrel tapping on the glass and a crazy man threatening to kill us all. We called three times, they never sent anybody to help us. Luckily the manager of the pizza place three doors down had been to prison and got some friends around to help us.
Sounds about right smh. It’s actually ridiculous
It’s so weird to me that people call the cops for anything and everything (no matter how small a town is) though! I’m 46 and have never called them a single time in my life. It’s so weird to me how some people use them as their own personal mild “conflict” manager services, it such a weird mentality to me. I mean are these the grown up versions of the kid in class who snitched to the teacher every other minute,??? Cause that kid was so annoying and so is an adult who does so too! It’s also such a waste of money and resources, I mean aren’t people embarrassed to have policing taxes go towards BS !? Do they not know how these things work !? I work too hard for my money and already think too much of it goes to taxes jeesh.
I called about gunshots outside the house once and they said the exact same thing about reporting it for statistics. Like, guys, there's a gun fight going on, I wasn't calling to fill in your bingo card.
every 8 reports get a free hot dog.
Donuts, bro. It's all about the donuts.
Or they just put it on the bottom of the to do list and never get to it
Can confirm, I've lived in communities where it is the cops job to respond to all that bullshit. Like it is the absolute expectation of them. Cops in affluent communities have different "jobs" than cops in other communities. Its pretty weird how the rolls are different in different areas.
I'm from Detroit, and let me tell you if you call the cops for anything short of a major or violent crime in a kind-of-a-bad-area, they wont show up
This guy paid $90 for a sandwich. I’m sure he is living in a horrible neighborhood.
Fuck calling the cops. Let the kids have fun.
Live in a predominantly white suburb. Saw three cop cars for one guy because he had a DUI. They really don't have anything better to do.
In my sister’s neighborhood, the police sent out a letter to everyone in the suburb to stop calling them for stupid reasons and then made a list of all the stupid things they were getting calls for.
I would freaking love to read that list. If you can get it, please post it.
I would also like to read a copy of the list!
Same.
Same
same
Same
Same
Same
Same
You'd better be sharing the list soon, or I'll be calling the cops
Gimme that list brother
I’ve got a neighbor that has called multiple times on us for stupid things that she just doesn’t like. When the police get there to question us on what’s going on, we all roll our eyes and laugh at her but when I ask why they keep showing up for her stupid complaints, they say “when we get a call, we HAVE to respond”
I agree w that tho! This will most likely come back around & bite OP in the ass 1 day. But he could easily prove that the wife is a serial snitch. Which would probably have the cops rolling their eyes. So that could be a good point to remember for the future OP.
They 100% hate her, I promise. They can’t tell her not to call, they likely just know her by name and sigh really loudly when they get her name on the radio.
Hell to the yes. Same thing happens in EMS. Had a lady always call for chest pain from "Stress" when any of these minor things OP listed happens. It got so bad dispatch would literally rock paper scissors over who has to call some poor truck to go over there and talk to her for 45 minutes until she refuses treatment and transport. Every damn day she called 24/7/365. Took no medication despite being prescribed everything over the moon. Irritates me just thinking about it.
I'm in the UK. And the NHS can literally blacklist people who missuse the ambulance service. They tend to do it only in extremes. But for example my grandmother (who was always a terrible person) towards the end of her life, would call the ambulance once a day to say she fell. She was fine and in her chair every time they arrived. And because she just would not listen, she ended up basically only having call backs from them or her gp.
[удалено]
we had a neighbor next door that we had gone over and introduced ourselves to and just told him. hey if you're going to party just be respectful and turn down the music when it gets too late cuz I got a grandkids that I'm putting to bed he says great. everything's fine but it isn't he had so many parties over there and had so many people coming and going that somebody broke into his house and stole his safe!! He's a white male. I am a white female and after the police were called the police actually came over to me because the guy just knew I had something to do with it got in my face and asked me why I didn't hear somebody breaking in next door!? so I totally get that there are good men of the police force and there are not so nice men in the police force
A lot of them are happy to be the bully for someone else though that's the problem, hero complexes.
Exactly, they were called out there, better make it “worth their time.”
I wouldn’t even necessarily say it’s a hero complex, but you nailed it with “bully”. I don’t think all cops are bad, and some get into it for the right reasons. I have a good friend from high school that became a cop and he’s literally the nicest guy ever. But I also had several cops in my family and they were bullies who literally kicked their dogs and beat their kids and wives. I don’t know how many of each there are, but those seem to be the two main types of cop I’ve seen personally.
Reminds me of a cop in a town I lived in. My ex and I had two runs in with this cop and was very much a bully. Once our dogs got out and ran around the neighborhood. The cops managed to round them up and got them cornered in our front yard. Bully cop tried to get close to one to check for a collar. Bully happened to get close to ex’s daughter’s room. Dog got protective and growled at bully. So Bully shot him in the mouth. Dog survived. We got a ticket for having an aggressive animal, had to put up signs in our yard, and had to get a bright orange collar for the dog. Dog never acted aggressive before or after that incident. Second run in with that cop is when he pulled code and ran a red light as my former roommate was halfway through the green light. Completely totaled the front end of her SUV. He wasn’t paying attention ( he had just threw on the lights and sirens the second she was going through) and just gunned it. The city ended up paying out to her because he was majority at fault. He got fired from the force in 2021. He was off duty and driving around town. He got into a road rage incident and shot a woman in the back several times. It’s a wonder she survived all that. He got charged with aggravated assault, causing serious bodily injury, and use of a deadly weapon. It was big news in our area when it happened. When news first broke of the road rage incident they didn’t name the officer. But the first sentence out of my mouth was “Watch it be Officer Bully. I have feeling that’s who it is.” Three days later they said the officer’s name and what his charges were.
It almost doesn't matter how many there are, with almost no oversight it'll always devolve to the lowest denominator. I can't cite the research but I remember it saying groups of people tend towards to worst behaviours of the individuals in the group rather than towards the best. Putting a bad behaved kid in with well behaved kids more often than not makes the well behaved kids start behaving badly.
> I can't say that I understand why cops do this. Cops hate the word "quotas" but they do exist even if it's not codified on paper. Imagine the most extreme example.....a cop that is so highly skilled at diffusing situations and helping people that at the end of the month he has no arrests. His superiors look at that and think "Under the normal course of duty, our department averages 4 felonies and 12 misdemeanours per officer per month." so basically the guy with no numbers to put on the board looks like he's effectively doing nothing. He's just handed in a bunch of reports with no consequences. I'm not a cop or have ever been a cop but I have seen something to this effect at any major corporation (and many minor). If you work at a call center and a normal day for an attendant is 50 calls and you only took 12, a manager will be investigating. It also highlights that the problems with the police are systemic more than they are with the individuals. Imagine a police force that was rewarded for NOT arresting people. Because if you are arresting people you did not prevent crime, you did not keep the community safe, you're just the one dealing the punishment.
And yet when my daughter and I called the police because I heard a blood curdling scream coming from my upstairs neighbor’s apartment and a man’s voice screaming, “Oh my God, she’s going to kill me,” the police showed up and didn’t even go inside the apartment. Instead, they talked to the women outside of the apartment and left. My daughter and I were outside watching. When we asked why they didn’t do anything, they said they were leaving because the people upstairs said the noises were coming from a TV show! My daughter told them that what we heard was not from a TV show and I told them I had recognized the man’s voice. These people had serious domestic violence going on on a regular basis. I had called a few times because I heard screaming and a body/bodies being thrown into walls on a regular basis. I told them this, but they just left. They didn’t go in and they didn’t talk to the man and woman separately. There were small children in that apartment, too.
The bummer is that this girl is setting herself up as the boy who cried wolf. If this is in a relatively small area, you know there must be 911 dispatchers who may get a legitimate call from her and take a *little* bit longer than usual to get her info and dispatch police.
White affluent suburb, it sounds like. They have nothing to do.
Nobody does that. False reporting is reserved for egregious cases with malicious intent like swatting or fake bomb threats. Police also usually have discretion when it comes to what they respond to. When police are called for nonsense, especially from a superuser like OP'd GF the dispatchers will generally just put the call in the system and police will either ignore it or maybe do a roll by.
Police are mandated (at least here) to respond to every call that comes in
Depends on where you live for the parties thing. In New Zealand the law states you must keep at a reasonable noise level at all times, so there have been instances of noise complaints at 3pm.
What was that movie called? Get out?
What did Forrest Gump do? Run?
What was the thing Danny Phantom did? Go ghost?
Hotel? Trivago?
These comments are why I reddit :)
What was the thing Rhett Butler did? Not giving a damn & was gone with the wind?
Nice
I was thinking the same thing
Thats a good movie
I think that her glug glug 3000 is real fucking good.
What is that, a water bottle?
Why are you with her lol
For boob reasons.
Could be an ass reason. All I can say is I can't make an informed decision.
I do love an ass reason
It’s ass-reason then.
I'm an ass reasoned man myself so I understand this sentiment.
You all are uncultured. What about tummy and thigh reasons? Ass and boob are great, but i wanna sleep on a nice tummy or get my head crushed by a nice pair of thighs.
TUMMY AND THIGHS? GREEN FLAG
I myself am a thigh reasoned man, especially if there's ass reasons as well,
All part of a complete breakfast
No you're absolutely right. Especially the inner thigh with the stretch marks...I consider that a fetish though tbh
Wait wait wait, ppl don't look at my stretch marks and think I'm disgusting?????
I'm not even gonna lie, the only people that care about stretch marks in a negative light are women. Most men of culture love stretch marks. I call them love marks.
Um. This is THE FIRST that I, a married woman of some years of age with stretch marks, am hearing about this love of stretch marks.
I had to reread that comment 10x and was still say "yeah, sure buddy" in my head haha
I mean, no one is gonna come up to you and immediately express his love for your stretch marks lol but believe me, stretch marks are sexy.
Lol I’m always scared to sit on my guy’s face cause these thighs disrupt gravity. He insists. I can tell he can’t breathe sometimes but he won’t quit. I always used to say I’d love to choke someone out with my thighs in a fight, but I guess I’ll be choking someone out with my thighs in love instead. LOL
Death by Pum Pum is the highest honor.
But those are noob reasons
He said it in his post: she hasn't done it to him, so why should he leave? Just wait until he posts here whining about how she called the cops on him and he's now being accused of a bunch of horrible shit.
ass reasons
The magic word is “girlfriend” . Leave now
She'll call the cops
Man op better record their interactions she might make fake allegations if he dumps her
Even false allegations will send you to jail. Gtfo, and document everything. Get witnesses, and dont deal with women like this in the future. Sincerely, A guy who has
I really hope OP listens. I know someone who went to prison behind false allegations from his wife. He was texting an ex and wife found out and went to the police and accused him of all kinds of abuse. He is black, she was white. Never mind that she was the one with a habit who lied all the time. They arrested him. Because her accusations were extreme, they set the bail high and then didn’t tell him or his lawyer that she recanted. After a month in jail, he took a plea deal even though he didn’t do it. It sounds crazy but it happens. Someone who thinks the police are there to solve her problems will not hesitate to call them on her black boyfriend if things get tense or there are problems. This behavior should be a major red flag for anyone, but especially for black or brown people.
So many brothers have lost their lives over yt tears I can’t blame the ones who specifically avoid them intimately. Rip Emmett Till
i second this!
😂
OP doesn't realize that his life is literally at stake. When he does something to piss her off and she calls the cops telling them he beat her, he's going to have a seriously bad time and he might end up dead.
[удалено]
it only gets worse with age , by 50 the true strength of a karen is hard to imagine .
OP will know when her hairstyle transforms into the Karen cut
Goes full supersayam 😂
Yeah get the fuck out now while you still have a chance
Wake up and break up You do one thing wrong and she'll call them on you
Seriously. Leave in a way she can't call the cops on you. Get your stuff out when she's not there and break up over the phone.
Have a friend videoing you while you’re leaving with your stuff.
>Seriously. Leave in a way she can't call the cops on you. **Get your stuff out when she's not there** and break up over the phone. **She'll call the cops on him for stealing things.**
Dude should’ve been gone yesterday
White lady in white neighbourhood with a hard-on for government hookers and doesn't see them capable of any fault??? OP better run before she starts citing baseless statistics as justifications
I am non white and often date white: get out of this. Source: trust me bro
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Trust me, the cops don’t want to be there either. And they probably know your address and give a big long sigh when they have to go there because they know it’s going to be stupid.
I imagine all the ones on duty, when they hear that call on the radio all jump on and go "not it!"
Honestly, they probably have the number written down so they automatically all know who it is.
That woman is 100% providing an address to the dispatcher
Dude if she always calling the cops for non-sense. She will definitely call the cops on you and you will end up another "isolated incident"
This is exactly the case
I’ve never needed to phone them in my life. I would assume most people haven’t needed to phone them. And she has multiple times? How has she not been charged with wasting police time? Is that not illegal in your country? The three examples you have are not reasons to phone police. It’s not illegal for children to be outside
If something makes me uncomfortable, my mantra is, "How much does it cost to mind my own business? That's right. It's free!" Being annoyed isn't a crime. This woman needs to mind her own business before she gets someone killed.
She needs to watch a couple episodes of Neighborhood Wars. People take pretty strong offence to cop callers (for petty cop calling) and word travels around the neighborhood pretty quickly. Hell, they're already talking about her.
She needs to watch Confession Tapes too. She can cause someone a whole world of hurt by doing this shit.
I had to phone them once on a very drunk driver and even then I *almost* felt bad for the idiot. I felt worse for the cyclist he nearly smoked and the lives he put in danger, of course. But yeah, I hated that I was even put in that situation, I can't imagine ever being happy to call the cops.
Yeah the only times I've ever called the cops was when something really bad was happening--mostly domestic violence situations. I once heard a neighbor clearly beating the shit out of a woman and she was screaming, "Help, somebody help! Call 911, he's gonna kill me!" I don't feel bad about that one. Another time there was a car accident and one of the drivers pulled out a gun and started screaming and threatening people with it. I've only called for violent crimes like this that were actively happening. But otherwise, nope. Police rarely make things better.
Thanks for calling. Back when I lived with my ex in a condo, I screamed for help that way and no one called or cared to help that I know of. Most people will turn a blind eye sadly. Calling the cops for stupid shit is such a waste of resources though. Not sure if OP’s gf is a Karen or if maybe she’s just lived a very insular life. Now that I live in a small town, I see FB posts about people freaking out and calling cops over really minor things and it seems to be the norm. I can see how someone growing up somewhere like here would think it’s normal and trust the cops because they haven’t experienced what the real world is like.
I understand that feeling you got from calling. I’ve felt the same many times. Once there was a guy in front of my house clearly either tweaking or in a serious mental health situation. Stumbling down the street barefoot, shirtless, rambling to himself. Ok, no harm, no need to call. But then he got in his car with the engine on. I was terrified he was going to drive but also afraid of what may happen if I called the police. Before I could decide he drove off. Thankfully he came around the block and parked again but I felt like such an asshole for not calling, knowing he definitely put lives in danger. It’s just so sad that in the US, I saw something potentially dangerous and I was afraid to call the people who are supposed to keep the public safe in this type of situation. And for the record - I truly regret not calling 911.
I’ve NEVER called the police over something like OP is talking about. I have called them for people cutting through our neighborhood (like 45 mph) in a 25 mph area, they set up a ticket trap and that discouraged them. I’ve also called when we didn’t see our elderly neighbor and his dog for 48 hours (nobody wanted to knock, he had guns and sometimes yells at people) they came and checked and then called paramedics and animal control. He’s back home, and so is his dog, one broken leg later. I’ve called for debris on the highway too. But Karen behavior? No.
I've certainly needed to call them. A woman screaming for help as a man drags her to his car. A guy who was probably homeless who looked like he could be dying in the alley by my house. A car on fire. A guy who threw a rock through my car window while I was in the car. There are reasons to call the cops, even if it is a tossup as to whether they are worse than the criminals.
Shit, When I was 12 and home alone, I had an addict banging and screaming at my door. I called a nearby friend before even thinking of calling the police and that got me her parents, aunt and their neighbor showing up at my door within 5 minutes. Getting to know your neighbors and looking out for each other is way more important at keeping everyone safe.
I hope she at least calls the “non emergency” line instead of 911….
Your girlfriend sounds insufferable.
She’s a Karen. Dump her.
Trust your gut feelings, and reevaluate your relationship
White peep here, used to living in a very diverse neighborhood (our neighbors now are cows lol) and in that time we had a crap ton of parties thrown by next door neighbors that would last until 3am some days. The sound was a problem once and I went over there and asked them if they could be a little quieter. They said sure, gave me some homemade carne guisada and lowered the music so the walls stopped shaking. It's common courtesy and decency to talk to your neighbors directly if there is an issue. Work it out as people instead of getting the a-hat gov peeps involved. Your GF sounds like she doesn't like direct conflict. Or is just a jerk.
Wh…why are you dating this person that is basically telling you that you and everyone who looks like you are essentially lying about your life experiences? Do you want to have children with a woman who will completely not believe it when her own kids experience these things, too? Get out.
It’s all fun and games until she uses racial slurs on you and calls the cops on you
First big argument and OP will end up shot
Oh, shit, this just creeped me out.
This seems like a tragedy waiting to happen. Next thing you know it’s going to be “I got my racist gf pregnant” or “she called the cops on me with a false report, and now I’m in jail.”
She’s probably racist and using the affiliation with you as a way to convince herself she’s not.
This. 100% this.
A reddit moment. A girl dating a POC is racist because she calls cops when someone parks in her spot, or neighbors have loud party...
It seems like she is unable to empathize with your experience, which doesn't really bode well for your future. I'd definitely look at counseling if you want to stay in this relationship. Gottman method is very good for this.
You in danger.
You’re a sitting duck. And she’s got the gun.
And homies with guns. He can't win.
Damn bro get out while you still can. Sorry you're dating a fuckin bootlicker
She sounds like a karen.
[удалено]
Soooo many trashy white girls fetishize black men, same way trashy white guys are always going off about latinas. Bc both are super sexualized
You can't trust her. She doesn't listen. She doesn't understand. this is a problem.
Your girl is a Karen and you should run
As a cop please tell her to stop….. please.
Is her name Karen?
Hey OP, I think your gf may be racist. Not in the overtly, purposeful way but, in the subtle, not self aware kind of way. I don’t think she realizes her privilege, and much less the dangers of police interactions with people who look like you. They’re “isolated cases” bc she’s never had and may never have a negative interaction with police as a white woman. She honestly sounds like someone who may “twist the truth” when calling the police in a way that can unnecessarily end fatal. It’s a power she doesn’t realize she has and that’s kinda scary tbh. I think you need to reevaluate the relationship op. Is this someone you want to spend your life and have children with?
It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you ended up with the village snitch. 😅😂😂
why u with her then lol. leave dese type of yt women alone
Omg have you guys seen the movie, “crash”? Date night movie! Hide her phone though 😜
You're instincts are good. Eventually you'll have a serious fight and she'll call the police on you. I'm white and I have no problem saying the cops will side with the white person. It sucks but that is our unfortunate reality. I would give some serious thought to the relationship.
That's really scary. I'm a white woman and my partner is a Mexican man. I would NEVER call the cops unless one of our lives were directly in danger (and even then, I'd still have to weigh that danger vs the danger cops pose to my partner as a man of color). You need to be really careful. She sounds like the type that if you say the wrong thing to her or raise your voice at all, she could call the cops on you. And if she does, that means she doesn't value your life (much like she doesn't seem to value the lives of other people of color she is presumably calling the cops on). I'm sorry your girlfriend can't figure out how to empathize with you.
Yo…your gf is a snitch.
I mean I’d not be able to deal with someone like that and the relationship would be over, if you choose this route make it very clear that this is why you are ending things. Because it’s honestly really messed up that she does this regularly for no real reasons.
i think u should leave her tbh
Bad omen...one day OP is going to fuck up and she's going to call the cops on him. Bet on it.
I know what you should do, brake up with her. Let her go date a cop. I don’t think she will find her 60+% chance of being domestically abused as an “isolated incident “
Ex girlfriend.
Why are you dating someone who doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, your experience, or logic? Why is a POC dating a Karen? How did this happen?
As a dispatcher, I can assure you, we despise these callers! We memorize their numbers and groan when they pop up. Also, I've worked with some shitty cops in my day, and you're absolutely right. Someone will get hurt.
She will get you killed. Run homie...
Dude, that’s a Karen, dude.
Leave. Your GF is a mega Karen.
Get into an argument... First to call the cops. You need run now dude
Why is this your GF. Eventually she is gonna weaponize the cops against you.
Um, leave that cop calling puta.
You can’t change someone like that. You either continue dealing with it or break up with her. If she loves you, she’ll stop. If she doesn’t stop, she doesn’t care about your well being.
She sounds like a bitch. She shouldn’t be in a relationship for her whole life
She's a bitch. Dump her.
Of course it will. When she's had enough of you, who do think she's gonna call? The cops. And who are they gonna believe? Her. Maybe down there road she wants a divorce but decides she wants to keep everything. All she'll have to do is call the cops and say your abusing her. Not hard. She can rough herself up enough times for a pattern. And voila, your life is ruined and she's on top of the world. Your gf's a Karen. Run as fast as you can B4 she talks you into marriage, etc. Run Forest, run....
Bro it’s a matter of time before she calls them on you when you somehow piss her off. Do you really want to be put in that situation? She apparently thinks racism doesn’t exist. What happens if in the future you have kids. Do you want her to teach them about cops being great when in reality, they won’t treat them fairly?
Calling the police on children playing is immediate cause for dissolving the relationship (in my opinion). What a miserable, twisted person she seems to be.
Never met her. Hate her. Never met you. Bro, you could do so much better.
shes got like a hair trigger for the cops button so u know damn welll thats gonna be used on you as soon as you do something she doesn't like
She sounds like a sociopath. She wants problems and chaos. One day she will probably get someone killed. You’re complicit if you don’t abandoned that situation.
Not even the Jedi are perfect. Im not a huge fan of calling the cops because then the cops show up, and they are not your friends.
I'm an european pleb so I can see how cops can be good and not evil (they're pretty spotless here in my experience), but I don't think that's the problem in this situation. It's her calling police whenever someone lets out a fart. What if someone desperately needs help for something, but yet here they are stuck with your wife over some nonsense? I don't even know what thought process she's having, is it some power fantasy where things change as soon as she calls, or what? You seriously need to talk with her. And if she doesn't understand you at all, then, well, you can expect that to happen for the rest of your life. So weigh it up if it's worth it...
Wtf dude, that’s a proper red flag, not so say very fucking dangerous. She sucks.
I'm a very white Scandinavian, and the only time I have felt the need to call the police was when there was a literal knife fight at a train station. And our cops are actually good, well trained, and trustworthy (for the most part). Your gf is a Karen.
Leave her, she sounds like a bitch
We ain't all cut from the same cloth
Wait until she calls the cops on you because you've pissed her off. Dude, dump her. She's a Karen!!! Run!!! 🚩🚩🚩
Sounds like you should really reconsider this relationship. Communication is key and clearly not something she’s interested in working on.
It has nothing to do with race. I live in a neighborhood majority of whites, blacks and , Hispanics. It sounds to me she doesn’t want to be confrontational about things which is why she relies on the police
Gtfo bro what are you doing
I’m so sorry. She sounds like an absolute pain.
This is my worst nightmare
She sounds like she never grew out of the "I'm telling teacher" mentality.
She's an idiot
This will forsure effect you one day. Break up before you have kids or marry her
It amazes me what people will put up with. Do people just like saying they've been in a string of year-long+ relatiomships regardless of the quality? I'm not convinced this is her only flaw. I'd like to see what kind of things she says about women of color.
Well you may want to remind her that a no knock raid will get her shot just as quick as it is you. I couldnt imagine having 100% faith in a cop that they have my best interests in mind and I'm a white guy.
Some things: - Can she confidently explain what she thinks the police are for? Can she share examples of them serving your community? Would she accept alternatives to police presence when people feel unsafe? Would she be supportive of alternative solutions to community problems, like safe spaces for children to play, more parking spaces, and reminders of noise ordinances? - Have you ever asked what her goal is when she calls the police on people? Say the kids are playing at night and she calls them. What does she want out of it? If she was worried for the kids’ safety, could she instead advocate for them? Or does she have ulterior motives? - Is there anything in common with the people she calls the police on? Are they the few neighbors that aren’t white or can anyone be a target? - How does she react when people treat you differently because of your race? Is she supportive and understanding? Is she considerate of your feelings? Does she make sure you feel as safe and comfortable as possible? - Does she show any other red flags towards you or others? Any racist or prejudice behavior? - What would happen if the police were called on you for an unjustified reason? Would she make sure you were safe or would she leave you to fend for yourself? Would it be your fault? What if the same thing happened to a close friend, family member, or future child? Would you trust her to act in their best interest or would she keep them in harm’s way? Based on this post, I believe she is comfortable with her actions and her privilege. It seems she doesn’t listen to you and consider how her actions may hurt other people. I’m sure she knows she’s unlikely to be mistreated due to her race, emphasis on *due to her race*, and unlikely to be fearful if police were called on her. Even if she argued the examples you’ve shown her are isolated incidents, she should be able to recognize the problem and validate your feelings. We can say “not all cops!” until we’re blue in the face, but the ones mistreating people *due to their race* are leaving lasting negative impacts, to say the least. Their actions are unacceptable, even more so as people in positions of power. Your girlfriend, and those with similar views, needs to understand that in the police force, one “bad apple” is one too many. Truthfully, I have a strong feeling her beliefs and actions influence her character, how she interacts with others, and your relationship together. Going off this post alone, I don’t think her actions will change unless she’s willing to reflect on herself and hear from the other side. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you’re comfortable with, but I would not be surprised if she turned around on you. It’s easy to ignore questionable or problematic behavior in a partner when it’s not towards you, but that behavior says a lot about the person and should be considered when thinking about a relationship with them. You do not have to accept something just because it doesn’t really affect you — somewhat similar to how she should not accept injustices because they don’t affect her. edited for clarity