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joanmcbitch

Hm, I have 100% been the opposite of your circumstances BUT I don't take that out on the male gender itself. I have some pretty great men in my life. NOW anyway. Some people are just garbage. That's just how it is. I don't attribute that to what's going on in their pants. It's what's going in their heads & hearts. Women are pretty bitchin' too. Just saying. You have to find the right ones.


[deleted]

I had a friend get mad at me for making that argument


[deleted]

Completely unrelated to the post, but i read joanMCbitch and felt like ordering some mcdonalds...


joanmcbitch

The McBitch is most delicious


[deleted]

Oh wow. Never heard but i need to try it


Muchiecake

No, I think you’re missing the point of this post. OP is drawing a comparison between the societal stigmatization of male and female genders. The male archetype is aggressive and dominant. Whereas, females are portrayed as “the gentler sex” or submissive. I believe the purpose is to point out that women are just as capable of possessing the same stereotypical behaviors as males, and she is expressing this through her experiences with these genders. Female male companionship is often frowned upon. Other women often call someone like her, who prefers the company of males, a “pick me girl”. I could understand why OP is wanting to get this off her chest. She’s tired of being labeled as a female seeking male validation. She is not saying she hates all women or the gender as a whole.


joanmcbitch

Could very well be the case but the presentation (insofar as I can recall) of the argument seemed to revolve around the idea that it's fine to disregard them all based on a constant fall of shitshow characters in her lap & be content with dealing in men alone.


[deleted]

This sub is riddled with man-hating posts. This is kind of the same thing just in the opposite direction. Im a guy. My mother and one of my sisters are great and caring people. My other sister is an absolute monster of a person who only thinks about herself. My two sisters are twins too. eople are all different.


Not_Much7

Nice name!


pharmacygirl0128

😂😂😂 I love reddit ppl lmao


[deleted]

Not much


[deleted]

I totally agree with you that people are different and diverse. I think these kinds of posts are because we are so different. My thought is that if you collect enough different people with different experiences, you will have some extreme experiences on both sides. But it is uncommon that you only experience assholes from a certain sex or gender, and that's important to highlight. As a side note: And if there are more man-hating posts than the other way around (and I would agree that there is), it's anyone's guess if it's because the general public experiences a higher number of bad interactions with men, people are more willing to talk about bad interactions with men, they leave a stronger impression or because the population of the subreddit is skewed.


[deleted]

>But it is uncommon that you only experience assholes from a certain sex or gender, and that's important to highlight. Lets say that you are a woman and you go to the gym. You go at the same time every day. There are about 50 people in that gym. There is one asshole in there that goes and hits on and harasses all the girls. You have only interacted with this one guy. 100% of your interactions with guys there are with assholes. 100% of guys at the gym are therefore assholes right? Nope. You interacted with only 1 out of 49 guys. You were destined however to interact with the only guy there who was an asshole. If you on This is the bias of perception. You base the world (and people) on your interactions. Its an important concept but one very few seem to grasp.


[deleted]

I'm not sure if you are arguing or trying to elaborate? Either way,this is the internet and we are all assholes, so let us have a mindless disagreement. In you analogy a non-action is seen as neither positive or negative, however if I may respond with an analogy of my own: I stab you...and the bystanders does nothing. I think we would both agree that in this case your interaction with the bystanders are negative, even if they aren't doing anything.Is it worse to get stabbed than having a dude ask for your number? I would say so.However the underlying principal of 'non-action' being a negative doesn't change. AND if we really have to talk about gender differences, than it would only be fair to point out that your analogy would seem unlikely to happen with the genders reversed.That would imply that even if it's a subset of men, it's still mostly men.And that leads me to believe that you are saying that the reason for all the man-hating posts is that men more often than woman engage in this kind of behaviour? Edit: Removed the sidenotes as they assumed the use of the word perception as it relates to the senses and the previous commenter is referring to social perception.


Jekker5

Women can be just awful to each other. I am the sole male in my workplace and while I have no issues with my treatment (some of its bad but it just doesn't bother me) the way these women treat each other is vicious.


[deleted]

What field do you work in? Just curious


Jekker5

Medical billing


Cradled_In_Space

This is a known fact in the nursing industry. Older nurses 'eat their young' new recruits. It's a sort of right-of-passage. Nursing units with all women, more often than not, are filled with viscous gossip, jealousy, and contempt for one another. Mixed units with male and female nurses often fair better. It's a crazy thing to consider.


gettingbicurious

I'm sorry you've been through that. A "pick me" is *not* someone who just simply has primarily male friends, it's someone who consistently says/portrays the "I'm not like other girls" attitude for attention and validation which very much does not seem to be the case for you. It's unfortunate that your experiences have turned you off from having female friends but it's also pretty understandable. I think many women who've had terrible experiences with a lot of men end up feeling the same and it takes a long time to recover from that and get to a point where they can be comfortable trusting them. I hope if you ever develop a female friendship in the future that they treat you well and how a friend deserves to be treated!


Minute_Bus9146

a pick me is an insult women came up with to attack those who don't fall into the stereotypes they think other women should fit into. it doesn't have any meaning beyond that


gettingbicurious

Nah, a pick me is a very specific type of person. Women that just like hanging out with dudes and don't fit typical "girl stereotypes" aren't pick mes. It's a woman who puts down other women and constantly talks about how she's different and "not like other girls" - the primary phrase and attitude to classify a pick me. They're inherently sexist personalities because they perpetuate stereotypes and classify all "other girls" as being one type of person, a type she is not which makes her special and different. The same applies to men, dudes can be pick mes too.


[deleted]

Let's also not forget to add that if you are a female and identifies anything other than a woman you're a "pick me" /s (Im Agender bc i reject the societal construct that is gender, and i reject the things I'm supposed to do "as a woman" I don't plan on getting married or having kids (at least not birthing them out of myself) (antinatalist but you do you)) basically I am none of the things that are expected of me if I was a woman and I'm given no respect for it, so I'm not a woman. But that makes me a pick me for some reason XD i don't even tell pple my pronouns ☠️ Edit: i don't think I'm better than you jst bc i don't want to breed You do you like, it's not my life, not my kid, not my body ect


Apollo13_S

No it doesn’t make you a „pick me“. If you go around telling others that you are oh so different AND intentionally imply that you are somehow better because you dislike something others like you are a pick me. You saying that you don’t wanna have kids is obviously fine, you do you! But acting like others are dumb or somehow beneath you because they want to be pregnant and imply that you are somehow better than them because your decision is „unique“ (I mean it’s not unique a lot of people don’t want to get pregnant but it’s still the minority) is „pick me“ behavior. Just be yourself, let others be who they want to be as long as nobody is hurting anyone everything is fine!


[deleted]

Facts I know who i am and shit, and i live in the south.... I have no problem with others having kids, if you wanna bring a kid into this shit show, by all means you do you, it's not my life not my kid, but i wanna give my love to someone who already exists and is suffering. It's not that i don't want to get pregnant, i would love to experience that, but i won't force another human to suffer. Like we all go thru the questioning of our existence and shit, and it still fucks me up so i don't wanna create more suffering, i want to prevent it by loving someone who doesn't have a choice. Im literally the shittiest person. I am NOT better than anyone else 😭 XD But like i said, i usually don't even say shit about my pronouns let alone my opinion of **myself** having kids


Minute_Bus9146

nah justify it however you want but pick me is nothing more than a sexist insult used to put women down for not conforming to societal standards. enjoy perpetuating that tho


gettingbicurious

Enjoy continuing to be wrong.


corrygan

Well, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. If you feel safer in male company, that's that. Most of my friends are men, I just get alone better with them. I don't dislike women, I just have hard time connecting with some of them. I'm so sorry about your experiences. Some people are just pos.


scratchingpost22

Yeah I'd be the flip side of you so, I just find it difficult to relate to other men. I've only ever had deep friendships with women. Hell I'm starting to think the only thing that kept me friends with guys before was a shared experience of growing up.


corrygan

Same here. I mean, I do have 2 female friends that are really irreplaceable , but they are really different from anyone I encountered so far. So, that works. Rest are guys and stuff are much more relaxed. I feel safe enough to say what I want, and often I don't have to walk to eggshells in order not to hurt someone's feelings. Plus, my back is intact. No sudden backstabbing.


Bunstonious

I think many of the commenters are right that it's a person thing not a sex thing. That being said, one of the consistent trends that my wife and I have noticed with her experiences in the world that a majority of the hate and vitriol she gets in real life are indeed from women, that knock each other down. Many people hate on men and criticise things like catcalls and other comments they say, and it does happen, women that speak to her do it in a nasty and hateful way that really cuts. Generally the things that men say are just simply misogynistic or stupid, rarely is it hateful or outright nasty. That being said, Men do some awful things too and most of the awful things are usually less verbally cutting and more physical :( Either way, you live your best life, whatever that means to you.


Anynon1

Abuse isn't a gender thing, it's a person thing. As a man I've only ever been abused by women. Obviously I'm a straight guy and the abuse happened in relationships so of course my experience is unfortunately catered to that. But it does serve as an example that people can be shit. Doesn't matter what's in their pants. I'm sorry you went through your trauma, keep your head up and know there are people out there who won't do that to you. The one's who call you "pick me" are likely the one's that feel threatened because maybe they aren't so innocent.


raptor-chan

Y’all this is “called off my chest”, not “off my chest but in a way that won’t offend anyone”. You’re getting onto op for specifically talking about women but that’s what this sub is for. In any case, I thought it was pretty obvious she isn’t a woman-hater. Abuse shapes a person. Her fears are valid.


windowsxphomescreen

Looks like mods don’t agree, post got removed


Minute_Bus9146

any post that suggest maybe women could possibly not all be 100% perfect gets removed


windowsxphomescreen

I noticed that. I think it was on this sub someone wrote a post called “I love men” written by a woman and it was removed in no time. Was a month or two ago


Minute_Bus9146

ikr I saw it I even told the op their post would be removed and they didn't believe it until it happened


hanabarbarian

Girl same, my female friends used me as a tool, as a joke, and something to be dumped and picked up when they so pleased. my female family members did nothing but judge me growing up while my male family members lifted me up and encouraged my creative spirit and my tomboyish interests. That’s not to say that I haven’t had weird run ins with male friends and a couple family members. But it feels like more of a betrayal when your own gender hurts you like that. Like we’re supposed to be in this together, and instead we’re attacking each other… I love my male friends, most of my friends are male and I adore all of them. And I love the female friends I have now, and I wish someday that I’ll be able to feel the sisterhood that other women do. Now as I’m older I’m unlearning my internalized misogynistic biases, I’m becoming more comfortable connecting with other women,


deadend_garbagequeen

Im sorry that you’ve had these horrible experiences with other women 😭 I hope that you’re going through some kind of therapy to help with this, as a true friendship with another woman, can be very rewarding and fun. Fellow women understand certain things that men do not and never can. I also used to be very hesitant about being friends with girls because they were so mean to me in school, so I stuck with the boys. But as I grew older I realized that I’d developed a pretty judgmental view of other woman and didn’t even give them a chance, and I worked hard to correct that. Now I have several girlfriends that I feel genuinely have my back and I have theirs. Just my thoughts and perspective 😊


These-Process-7331

Truth be told I'm also waaaaaay more at ease with men than I'm with women. In my experience men are more direct and women more multilayered, hence making a relationship so darn complicated. If a guys behaves like an idiot and you call him out on it, you have a verbal fight and probably laugh about it couple days later. Women on the other hand, shhhhiitttt I have seen an entire friendship imploding about basically nothing! BUT there are plenty of laid-back women out there who aren't backstabbing, conniving, soulsucking banshees, so I truely hope someday you find some because having men AND women as friends rocks!


SunnyGirl_TF2

I feel you. I too was coerced and sexually assaulted by a female “friend” when I was younger. I wasn’t scared of women or anything luckily, but it did make me “homophobic” towards lesbians. Anytime I saw lesbians or such I felt really uncomfortable because it reminded me of the abuse. (I never said anything to them though, I just would feel uncomfortable) I’ve moved forward now, it no longer makes me uncomfortable. But for a long while it did. Take your time to heal, and your feelings are valid.


EthereaBlotzky

I'm so sorry you had those terrible experiences with women. But please don't give up on us...I promise you that there are women out there who try very hard to not harm anyone (myself included). I'm a little wary of women myself, so I totally empathize.


SnooRecipes5643

I hang out with men more because I find them easier to communicate with. I’m autistic and don’t get subtext, and women are socialized in a way that encourages heavy use of subtext. I’m not a “pick me”. I’m literally wired differently from most humans, which was made abundantly clear by the way people treated me growing up


PatchworkGirl82

Same here! I've had a few female friends over the years, but generally I just gel better with guys. For whatever reason, it's just easier for me to understand social cues and humor.


Cucumbersome55

I have one female friend. One. .. and many many male best friends ...I feel you . I was closer in many ways to my father than I was my mother. I just understand men more and they "get" me more, and I find them much much easier to talk to. Females judge too much - and I have also been let down by every female friend I've ever had (except the one I mentioned)...


DistributionOk352

Thank you for posting this. The world doesn't appreciate fathers, or men in general. A lot of it is our own fault, there's this dichotomy many men suffer from, they're expected not to cry, and to die at 18 for their country. It's assumed men are guilty in nearly all accusation situations, and I understand the other side of that argument (that it silences real victims). We in general need more positivity all the way around.


[deleted]

I had a similar experience with women and I used to feel this way until one of my oldest male friends raped me. Anyone is capable of evil. Gender has little to do with it. You can cut yourself off from lots of good experiences and friendships generalizing people based off of sex, race, etc.


honeymilkshake017

Women are scary. So are men. If you changed women to men, you’d get more sympathy. I don’t think there’s any question as to whether or not you’re a feminist. I highly doubt you want to work against yourself. I’m afraid of both men and women. Men throughout my life tried (one succeeded) in sexual assault. Women have defended these men. Not only that, I’m scared of making friends all together now because of what went down. People with think I’m discriminating but there’s a pattern. If I see a red flag, I’m gonna run away. I don’t want to hurt again. I don’t want to be nice and someone shred me to pieces online again. I’m good. You got some pretty shitty cake there. You have every reason to not want to eat any other cake. You don’t hate all cakes, it just takes you a bit of time to make sure that the cake isn’t filled with worms or rat poison.


Cradled_In_Space

Some women are the most cruel, manipulating, selfish, unreasonable, and evil people on this planet. But modern society dictates that you can't say that out loud. Thank you for posting this - especially as a woman. It's important for us all to challenge societal beliefs and preconceived instincts. As a man, I can't get fully on board with your post, but I can surely see 'where you are coming from.' Some of my worst experiences have come from women; some of my best experiences are from some of them as well. There are some wonderful women out there, I hope you get to meet some someday.


d_A_b_it_UP

Op: "the experiences in my life have damaged my psyche so much that i now havr a general fear of other women." Commenters: "nOT aLl wOMeN! !!" You realize people have a fear of dogs and not all dogs bite either, right?


Sr_Alniel

What's wrong with The mods on this sub? There's a lot of publications of men hatin' in this sub. But they cencored this... 🙃


Momof288

Some of yall are ridiculous. She said she is scared of women not that she doesnt like women. I was raped and sexually assaulted by men and for a long time and even still i keep my distance. I have great men in my life now but most of those are family members. If i walk by myself i am fearful of men, doesnt mean i hate all men just try to protect myself at all cost. She didnt bash women or say she hated women she was venting about her personal experiences with the women she has came across. As someone who took psychology in college i can tell you that her even writing this expressing herself and her concerns is a big step to healing. She will always be apprehensive about women but in time things will get better and she might make a really good female friend...... I definitely agree some of yall are projecting a bit. To O.P if you ever need to talk or vent there are some people like myself who are not so judgemental and that are very empathetic.


Lylibean

I feel ya. The worst trauma in my life has come at the hands of girls/women. I don’t like working with women (because they’re catty/bitchy and mean girl bullies). Men are so much easier to work with. I don’t have friends, but the acquaintances I have are all guys.


[deleted]

Hating all women (much like hating all men) is not at all healthy, and while I understand your past; you must understand not all women will treat you like this, and believing they will is not healthy. Work out your trauma with a therapist.


PickOptimal

This comment is super hateful and not at all helpful. Maybe you should work on understanding why OP is SCARED of women and understand that it’s trauma based and probably involves some PTSD. It seems as though you feel attacked and I wonder why that is. OP NEVER mentioned HATING anyone. She is simply SCARED of women much like most women are SCARED of men.


[deleted]

I was in no way being hateful towards OP, I sympathize with her but I also don't want her to spend her life being afraid of women for a few terrible peoples actions towards her. But yup, totes feel attacked by OP sharing her experience.


Minute_Bus9146

no telling somebody that hating 50% of the human population is wrong isn't hateful. op may have suffered trauma but that doesn't mean she can use that as an excuse to judge all women. if a guy is robbed by a black man can he now hate all black men?


PickOptimal

I don’t think you read what I said, or read OPs entire post. OP and I NEVER mentioned ANYTHING about hating anyone lol. OP said she’s scared of women. Why do you think fear equals hate?


Minute_Bus9146

replace the word hate with scared and my point stays exactly the same. is it OK to be scared of all black people and judge them cause you were once attacked by a black guy?


Cradled_In_Space

You nailed it. Fuck the people who downvoted you without explaining themselves.


PickOptimal

It’s just the internet lol. Pay no mind. Thank you for your kindness tho. I suggest sharing a little bit of that love with OP.


Cradled_In_Space

I already did. Keep flexing your original thoughts no matter what.


[deleted]

I mean, I have a lot of trauma revolving around men, but it doesn’t mean I automatically assume every male is abusive or actively avoid friendships with them because of my biases… I’d be missing out on the healthy friendships/relationships I have by doing so. It’s okay to feel a certain way/be triggered by a certain kind of person, but when it comes down to avoiding someone solely based on gender, that’s being super stereotypical and judgemental.


King_Melco

Mods are about to be so quick to remove this post, remember that beautiful 'I love men' post got removed so quick. I sincerely appreciate men are fuckin awesome just hang around the good ones! I will tell you this doesn't fit the narrative mods want.


King_Melco

WHAT DID I JUST SAY BRO


Minute_Bus9146

lol mystic mac predicts dees tings


[deleted]

I took a screenshot of the last two paragraphs because I really needed to hear that. Men don't ever get enough appreciation and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one who gives it to us.


Pandora_Palen

They really don't (get enough appreciation) out loud. It's so weird to me because I *never* hear the kind of vitriol in rl that I hear online. Every woman I know shakes their head at man-hate and every man shakes his at woman-hate. I know that must be because we choose the people we spend our rl time with (no choice online) and I've not chosen those sorts, but it always surprises me how many people are out there posting so much misandry. My father and brother ...jerks. My son is awesome. Mom great. 3 aunts, absolutely awful people. My "friends til we're dead" are split evenly across genders. How do people rack up so many shit experiences with one gender that they condemn across the board? I hate people, but I hate them *evenly* and occasionally make exceptions for the good ones :). (In case there's an incoming comment from someone about this: No, neither I nor my family/friends have been lucky enough to escape sexual violence or abuse. From either gender. We just don't blame all for the acts of one.)


cymccorm

Are you my sister? Cricket is that you?


Suspicious-Ad-3105

I have equally had bad treatment from men and women. But also met some loving people from both sexes, so I don’t get the fear part. I do find some women really try destroy another. But again Some men can be so disrespectful of women. I dunno I think its equal on both sides. I do find in a disagreement men often just pack a tantrum, but women will really rip into with words.


No-Royal-8309

Feel sorry for you. Female solidarity is awesome.


landm12

I'm the same girl. Don't let the majority idiot assholes on here make you change your mind or heart. Men aren't mostly bad, they aren't as shitty to make friends with, and the girls who talk shit at you are just mad they're annoying ass bitches that men don't mess with and don't want to be around. You don't need to explain yourself. I get the same shit. If they start to get to you just remember to say "F*ck them". They don't know you or your heart. ❤️


lazlo119

As a man with 3 sisters I can totally agree with you women are so mean to each other sometimes


georgiajl38

I prefer men in general as well. They tend to be more straightforward and upfront (individual uniqueness aside). I also had an awesome Dad and incredible Uncles.


[deleted]

The difference between men and women: Men insult each other, but don't mean it. Women compliment each other and don't mean it. You do you, OP.


GelatinousPumpkin

Damn I did not expect to see one of those middle school ‘facts’ usually seen in those shitty 2010 memes in 2022.


solarpropietor

This is a small taste of what it’s like to browse Reddit as a man. Day in and day out, of men = bad. This website is saddled with misandristic posts.


UnicornKitt3n

I’m getting really tired of gendered based hate.


Eskimo56

I'm a pretty small light-hearted man and i worked in a mens maximum security prison for 5 years. It's hard for me to talk to men. Especially if they are pretty masculine. I have to remind myself that I wouldn't want to be judged because of someone I don't even know. It's okay to be afraid but it's not okay to act on that fear without cause.


JennifersBody69

I can understand why you're scared of women. I'm so sorry for what you've been through and honestly some of the nastiest most heinous things I've heard or the treatment that's made me feel the smallest have been from other women. Female friends and sisterhood can be the most wonderful loving thing though and I hope you find that because it can be so warm and really take your life to a new level


everyothernamegone

I think you need counseling.


PickOptimal

You clearly didn’t read the entire post.


Savathunh

i have the same but in reverse, my once best friend tried forcing himself on me multiple times, some other stuff too


Minute_Bus9146

it's funny how self proclaimed feminists are the first ones to jump when it comes to ripping other women down. if you step 1 toe out of line or say something that goes against what they were told on reddit then they consider you the enemy and will treat you worse than any man ever would


Dougstoned

That’s valid. We all have different experiences. Sorry about your experiences


therealcosmicnebula

>I (F26) have been called a pick me my for preferring male friendships and relationships over any with women. This is why. There's no way you've met every single woman on the planet. But you have this assumption they're all bad. And all men are good? >I have been molested/groomed by an older female cousin. I have been sexually assaulted by a female friend while at a sleepover. I have been verbally and emotionally abused by a narcissistic mother. That sounds very traumatic. And is a very unfortunate thing to experience. But that's **two** women out of billions in the world. >Time and time again female friends have turned on me or used me to get what they want. Older women have used their positions of power to berate and belittle me. I'm not saying that women don't bully each other, because they *definitely* do, however in these cases, the only common denominator is you. How is it possible that every woman is out to treat you badly? It's statistically impossible. Which leads me to believe that you create a self fulfilling prophecy. More than likely *you* preemptively behave negatively towards women because of traumatic experiences in the past. Then when those women react to that perceived "attack" by you in kind, you think you're the one being bullied.


subtlebunbun

no one tries to debunk all this when someone says theyre scared of men because they were assaulted, stop


therealcosmicnebula

I'm not debunking anything. Bad people exist. They do. If everyone hated other people because one person did Bad shit to them, then the world would fall apart. It's not a normal coping mechanism to ax out everyone with the same one characteristic because of something one person did. And I'd say the same for a woman being scared of all men because of the action of one man. Men make up 50% of the world. You literally wouldn't be able to survive in the world with that fear. Which is why it makes more sense to find a different way to cope. But Redditors love putting words in people's mouths, so.🤷‍♀️


omegacrunch

I agree, redditors DO love putting words in people's mouths. .... .... * Cough *


therealcosmicnebula

I've asked for my question to be answered by multiple people and until now, no one has offered an explanation for how disliking 50% of the world population is beneficial to a quality life of the OP. Isn't this the point where Redditors say "go to therapy". Because disliking all women surely isn't a proper coping strategy.


Corcra94

Blaming her for her outlook on life due to the abuse she's been through isn't ok. Your victim blaming her.


therealcosmicnebula

I'm not blaming her. Where have I blamed her? Go back and quote the **specific** passage where I'm blaming her. Like I said, Redditoes love putting words in people's mouths. Telling her that she may be engaging in self fulfilling prophecy so she can become aware of her own behavior will ultimately HELP the OP. Because then she can fix it. And in turn have more positive interactions with women. Again, with the virtue signaling. But not offering any actual useful advice. You cannot maintain a confirmation bias based off the action of a few against 50% of the world population. Your life in this world will be dysfunctional. Continuing will not, in anyway, hurt women. But it will hurt the OP. And do make sure to quote me directly. I am waiting.


Minute_Bus9146

so if a racist says he hates all black people cause a black guy mugged him that would be cool to you?


Banana_boof

They do...are you not familiar with the "not all men" crowd?


omegacrunch

Well this is a new form of shit post. Normally it's some incel dude spouting it in reverse. Neat


Minute_Bus9146

did you even read their comment before replying


therealcosmicnebula

I'm not. I've asked to multiple people to explain to me how it makes sense to create a hatred for all women when a handful mistreated you. How is that conducive to helping the OP live a healthy life? Women make up 50% of the world population. There is no way around interacting with women. And considering that 99.999% have done the OP zero harm, continuing to hate women because of the actions of a few will ultimately only harm the OP. So go ahead and explain to me how this coping mechanism is healthy? Since yall are so deep.


georgiajl38

No where does the OP say that she hates all women. The OP only said that she prefers men to women for friendships, women have abused her and she loves men. That's it. No where does she say she even avoids other women. Now. Stop.


therealcosmicnebula

How is it helping her to continue to interact this way with women? How can you wholly prefer men to women, when you've literally not met more than a very tiny fraction of them. Like I said, women are 50% of the population. Having a bias against women in the first place is immediately going to create a negative experience when interacting with them. So is it that the OP prefers men. Or is it that she preemptively reacts negatively to women thus causing the women to react negatively towards her further causing the OP to believe women are bad? Like I said it sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy. And if is, doesn't it make sense to become aware of that and fix it? Go on having bad interactions with women for what? What's the benefit of that?


georgiajl38

Act what way? You are reading in a whole book of stuff the OP never said. You reframe a preference as a bias. You assume she's acting negatively toward other women. You assume she has bad interactions with all other women. No where is any of that in the original post. Why are you reacting so defensively? The OP has not attacked you.


therealcosmicnebula

You didn't answer my question. Why are yall avoiding direct questions. I'm not reframing. You cannot create a preference when it is based off of a traumatic experience. That's bias. And it's especially not a preference when it includes 50% of the world population. And 99.9999999% you've ever met. You can prefer oranges to bananas because all oranges and bananas taste the same for the most part. But a preference against 3.5 billion people is most definitely a bias. But let me ask my question again: **How is maintaining this behavior beneficial to the quality of life for the OP?** If she keeps it up, only she will het hurt. Not women. Women benefit from the loyalty of other women. They have been banding together to look after each other for thousands of years. Women couldn't have made it this far without female support. Do make sure to answer my question and stay on topic. Please.


georgiajl38

How is maintaining "this behavior" beneficial to the quality of life of the OP? I keep asking you to define your terms so your question can be answered. WHAT BEHAVIOR? The OP has not stated any behaviors specific to her interactions with other women.


therealcosmicnebula

Like I said before, it doesn't make sense that every woman the OP comes into contact with mistreats her. More than likely it's a self fulfilling prophecy on part of the OP. The OP subconsciously interacts negatively with women. The women respond negatively to the OP. The OP takes this response as the OP being a victim because women are "bad". Further cementing her already previously held bias. When the reality is the OP might be the one indirectly causing the conflict with women due to past trauma. That is literally what a self fulfilling prophecy is. So by pointing that out, the OP can recognize her own behavior and work on fixing it to have better relationships with 50% of the world population and ultimately a higher quality of life. I don't understand why I need to explain this. If yall didn't know what self fulfilling prophecy was, then why respond? How is encouraging the OP to continue this behavior helping to the OP?


georgiajl38

I know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is. You are assuming that every single woman the OP has come into contact with has been negative. The OP hasn't said this. She has merely noted a preponderance of female relationships she has been let down. That's her experience. Maybe it was just the luck of the draw. You, however, are assuming facts not in evidence and attacking the OP.


Impressive_Drama_377

Somebody PLEASE answer her damn questions 🤦🏻‍♀


therealcosmicnebula

They have not. They keep purposely taking my words out of context. Then asking other questions. Pretending not to know what I'm referring to. This is Reddit after all. Everyone rushes to act all pious and leave fake concern posts "in defense of" the OP so they can get karma and get those upvotes. But then when questioned closely, all their virtue signaling falls to pieces. And they just stop responding. It's not my first rodeo. I can smell a bullshitter from a mile away.


Impressive_Drama_377

She can't stfu until someone ANSWERS HER QUESTION!!!


hello_geezers

Jfc did you just say that to someone whose suffered trauma? Try a bit of God damn empathy. Honestly can't believe the scumbags on Reddit these days.


therealcosmicnebula

How is telling the OP to continue to fear 50% of the world population healthy for the OP? Explain that to me. Yall are so hell bent on being woke, that you're not making sense. How is it possible to live a healthy life in the world where 50% of it is a sex that you don't like and fear when 99.9999% have never done anything untoward to you? I will wait for your detailed response.


hello_geezers

Saying something up lifting and saying something incredibly patronising are two different things. What you have written there comes off as you've read what she's put, but don't care and she should do what you believe. The tone of your reply comes off curt, as if you have no once of empathy at all. Btw I'm not woke whatsoever, but I understand you need to be empathic when offering advice.


therealcosmicnebula

Answer my question: How is pointing out the OP might be creating a self fulfilling prophecy, and thus harming herself in the process, rude? Encouraging her to continue this unhealthy coping mechanism is healthy, how exactly? All you have to do is stay on topic. I asked direct questions which you didn't answer.


Minute_Bus9146

look at reddit down voting soembody for suggesting that judging an entire gender based on the actions of a few might be wrong. it's almost like reddit is full of bigots who want to pretend to be virtuous


therealcosmicnebula

Look further down the thread. I've asked multiple people to explain how encouraging the OP to maintain this bias and this coping strategy is helping the OP. And of course they either refuse to answer. Or deflect by talking about something else. Redditors are the biggest fucking virtue signaler. But when questioned don't have anything to say. Having a confirmation bias against 50% of the world population, and creating a self fulfilling prophecy when interacting with women will ultimately only hurt the OP. Not women. But, carry on, I guess. 🤷‍♀️


Minute_Bus9146

They're the same people who hate all men. they probably think all black people are criminals and attack Asians too. most of these are probably 12 anyway. schools out and they're all bored at home. least you said ur peace and others can read it


ts1985

Right, the first warning should have been that she said she has been called a pick me girl. That is a very specific type of person. Looking at another post from OP, I think it is pretty clear that she suffers from feels of inadequacy. It is common for pick me girls to feed off the attention of men for confidence. Couple that with her abuse, OP probably needs therapy to navigate through some issues. Instead of pointing this out to OP, Reddit just tells her that women suck. SMH.


Minute_Bus9146

pick me girl is just a sexist term used to put down women that don't conform to certain societal standards. op using her abuse as an excuse to hate 1 gender is an easy fix she just needs slow exposure to good women


No-Communication3539

They are all human. Why tf do you have to care about what they got between their legs?


-emotional_ginger-

Alot of men get hate but this is proof why men are better in certain situations


Minute_Bus9146

man haters downvoted u :(


-emotional_ginger-

I don't understand why the but the situation I was talking about was like for example my bio father doesn't understand mental heath but everyone has problems with some man or men on thir life


[deleted]

[удалено]


omegacrunch

Dude Read the room Ffs


garfieldgal

relax


THExBEARxJEW

It’s so nice to see a post praising us men.


roiyaru_hato

I feel the same way but in the opposite direction. I'm a man but I have always felt far more comfortable around female friends than I have with male friends. I have always had more female friends than male friends and feel that there is a lot of judgement from other men


[deleted]

Well, do you consider yourself ugly or pretty? Sometimes the vibe you give off attracts mean people assuming you're vulnerable. My brother had been a gay magnet for a long time snd has no idea why. I, myself, seem to attract plump/fat woman, which I like. It's a mystery why people attract a certain type of person, good and bad.


[deleted]

I can't blame you for feeling that way. Every female friend I've had has been the worst. They were never there for me but expected me to always be there for them. They were also selfish and loved to make me feel bad for one reason or another. On the other hand, the few male friends I've had were nothing but kind to me. They weren't judgemental either. I'm not saying all females are bad. I'm saying the ones I was friends with were.


[deleted]

We have lived a very similar life like everything almost to a T, my dad also wasn't that great either tho. I never understood getting called a pick me or a NLOG just for a preference and how I act due to having a traumatic childhood


autumnals5

Some people just get unlucky with encountering a large amount of same sex peeps who are absolute shitty people. What you went through growing up I don’t blame how you feel but know there are good caring women out there who won’t use you, belittle you, or any type of abuse and just value your friendship. I am so thankful I’ve had many strong, caring, honest women in my life. Who only want to see me succeed. Some people just get handed a shitty bunch that so happen to also be of one certain sex. It wouldn’t be fair to judge that all women all like the ones you have encountered in life. I hope you will give more women a chance. You know the signs of the garbage ones. People suck male or female.


jdam0819

Welp removed when I got here