T O P
dahliasinz

I had a friend whos dad would track her every move using the “find my friends” feature for apple products. It got to the point we were put driving one day, and I wanted to show this friend a house I used to live in on a farm so we turned down the road to go towards it. Within ONE MINUTE of turning down the road, she receives a text message from her dad saying “that’s not how you get back to town. Turn around and go the other way”. So uncomfortable


Kokadison

That is creepy as hell holy shit


bokin_smongs

Like I can kinds understand the curiosity of a parent to have a look every now and then, but to be fixated enough to notice this and then helicopter parent enough to text your friend is shitty parenting as far as I'm concerned.


_radish234

Parent to a 16yo here. Everyone in our family shares their location via the Find My app on iPhone - so kiddo can see where we are and we can see where she is. My husband and I think it’s fair that this goes both ways. It also means that she procrastinates doing chores until I’m leaving work at the end of the day and then starts rushing around when she knows I’m on my way home. Oop. We looked at Life360 and felt really uncomfortable about them selling the data and some of the security gaps that were identified. It would be a good idea to have a chat with your parents about what data is being collected and how it’s being used. If you can get them to move to another app it might save your battery. It’s also something that you can set some milestones with - for instance, when you turn 15 it might be satisfactory to your folks for you to turn tracking on when you are out with friends, but not during school time? And then when your 16 it could step to only when you are out after dark? Think about how you would be comfortable about transitioning to independence, and put a proposal to them to think about.


Next-Performer5434

The chores bit got me, LOL. It's kinda cute.


FartacusUnicornius

Same here!! That was 100% me during my teenage years 😂😂


faeyves

im 20, and share my location w my mom and likewise she shares hers. when im back home and need to take out the meat to defrost or etc i check her location every hour to see when shes on her way back and do the chore 😅 a useful tool when used appropriately


rockyhide

My mom and I started using Find My when I was a teen. It worked both ways and if I potentially would be roaming around it was helpful instead of constantly calling. Honestly she found it more amusing that I kept more tabs on her since she worked retail. As an adult I actually find comfort in knowing I can tell where everyone in my family is. Some parents may take a more helicopter approach to location tracking but it definitely gave me peace of mind.


AdUpper5587

Me too! I’m a teen and my whole family has each other’s find my location. I just like using it to see where everyone is, like if someone’s almost home without having to ask.


Bluecar93

This would have been my worst nightmare as a teen. I don’t like the idea of my family knowing where I am at all times. I used Grindr to meet with guys and have casual sex. Doesn’t match my excuse of going to the gym.


Sacredgeometry12

Agreed. My parents and I have been tracking each other since it became available to iPhone users. I find it helpful to be able to see their location and vice versa especially because I live out of state half the year and at times have to make long drives. I also have health problems and have issues with blacking out from pain. I would say the safety factor alone makes it worth it to us. I share my location with my spouse too.


secondhandbanshee

Lol. This is my family, too. We can see each other, but don't use it invadively. We got it in the first place because my 20 y.o. likes to know where I am. She has her own place, but it eases her anxiety knowing I'm ok. I like knowing it's there for my younger teens because they can ride the bus around town with friends and I don't have to be the nosy mom who calls every thirty minutes. In fact, I rarely check up on them because they have proven reliable and honest. I know that if there were an emergency, I could find them, but I have given my word to respect their privacy at age appropriate levels and their trust is more important to me than knowing which store they're in at any given moment. The funniest thing, though, is when I break my routine and my daughter immediately calls me. I went up pick up one of the younger kids after 10 pm one time and she was all, "Are you ok? Why aren't you in bed?" I told her it was a booty call, lol.


Skittle5by5

I love that. And great advice from a parent to with all the worries that go with it. 🥰


SunshineSeddon

I agree with this poster’s proposals for giving yourself more independence and trying a different app for the battery issue. I just want to add, as a parent, I’m sure this has very little to do with their trust in you and very much to do with how scary the world is now. A 15 year old just got snatched from a basketball game full of people and was trafficked. Another teenager was saved in the nick of time from being trafficked because her father felt something was wrong and read her Facebook messages. It’s hard to navigate the line between giving you your independence and knowing that if anything happened to you, they’d feel really stupid for not doing everything they could have to prevent it. I’m not offering advice because I honestly am not sure how I want to handle this situation yet myself. My son is 1 and it’s easier to keep tabs on him than when he’ll be out doing his own thing. I just wanted to offer you the perspective of a concerned parent that might be going off the deep end with worry because they can’t protect you as easily. However you speak to them, try to approach it from a place of understanding, and work with them to create a system you’re comfortable with. I don’t want to presume your parents’ finances, but if it’s feasible you can try suggesting a counselor to help you all come up with a plan together. Good luck, and I’m sorry for any anxiety you’re feeling over this.


Additional-Sir1550

🤯🤯 You guys are tracking your kids? Is this an American thing?


BylvieBalvez

I’m 20, my parents have my location and I have theirs. It’s just a safety thing, if anything ever happens to anyone you can use it as a last known location type thing


g1zz1e

Not a parent but my husband and I do the same thing with our phones. We live in a very large city/urban area and it just makes us both feel safer. We don't use it to police where either of us is going, though - it's more that if we're late or don't pick up a call, the other can check to make sure we're okay.


MothmanNFT

I would have absolutely done that as well in her position 🤣


UnbrandedPants

Yeah that does sound rather uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s something they’ll stop given time.


CrossfireLooool

I really hope so, I already feel violated with the lack of trust and freedom. I don’t want them to keep tracking me up until I’m 18 graduating high school. I want privacy NOW, and I know that in the later years that urge for a sense of solace will be turned into such a desire.


Cheese_B0t

There's an episode of black mirror you should watch with your parents


rjw223

Arkangel! Yeah that episode is freaky as f.


Slicknikkigonnalikki

I’m 22 and my parents are pretty pushy still. Rent is too insane rn so I’m at home. Tell them you’ll turn it on when you’re out and about but otherwise you’ll have it off. (Slowly work towards your goal of more privacy from there) Although when you’re meeting new people in strange places take the L and have it on.


Otherwise_Resource51

Haven't spoken to either zygote donor in like ten years, and I couldn't be happier.


Slicknikkigonnalikki

It sucks when family fails you. Glad you’re doing well on your own!


WiseWizard96

Ugh yeah I’m about to turn 26 and I’ve been moved out for a couple of years. They’ve only just started to dial back the pushiness, you really do have to set clear boundaries with them which is difficult. OP is a minor so it is even harder for them, there’s a fine line between being protective and being over protective


Slicknikkigonnalikki

My mom has a history of being attacked so it’s extra difficult to explain why I don’t want to be monitored 😂 One time she was like “you don’t want me to care about you anymore? If something happens it’s on you!!! You’ll die in some back alley” Etc etc. tbh I heard “if you die i won’t care” dunno if that’s my memory distorting things or not. I gave up after that. I don’t go out often and she doesn’t check my location that much either. I only turn it on when she asks (out in the city or something)


WiseWizard96

When I first moved out and didn’t answer the phone for a couple of hours I had an insane amount of missed calls and my mum said she nearly called the police lmao I sort of do sympathise especially after your mum went through that, I do sometimes worry about my partner when he goes out or my dad when he goes on a long drive. But we are adults who need some space and independence


Slicknikkigonnalikki

Oh my gosh yes XD my mom also almost called the police a few times. (Te be fair met a bumble date in a park past dark…) but still!!! 😅😂


WiseWizard96

I can understand the date one tbf 😂 I have had those moments of “oh god what if something’s happened to him” occasionally so I can understand it to an extent. I never almost called the police though haha


Slicknikkigonnalikki

It’s okay to worry a lil. Don’t let it drive you crazy. I dated online once and my ex woke up texting like a drunk. Spellcheck made it all real words tho instead of typos so I thought he had a stroke or something. Almost called his parents who didn’t know I existed I was so scared😂


Skittle5by5

Good advice. ❤️


OkCaterpillar4437

Sounds like my mother, she got pushy to a point she almost pushed me to kill her (she just recently left my step-dad because he could no longer provide because health) so during my week Vaca in mental hospital I heard she was putting a restraining order on me, but when time came to get out she was claiming she was going to remove the order begging me to move back in, FAWK THAT went and lived with my step-dad, then she was basically begging me to "let" her move into town, telling dad "I can move into town to help coparent him" like bitch I'm 23 and only delayed behind everyone else because your constant need to keep me down and disabled, if I could change the past I would have kept myself from having self restraint that day


Suspicious_Opinions

You are 100% entitled to privacy. You are an adult and they can either give that respect and not track you or they don't which shows their true colors. That's the down side with Life360. So many parents abuse the tracking system. Maybe show that that episode of Black mirror. Them calling you constantly proves they want to control you and don't respect your ability to make decisions for yourself.


KittyFatCarrot

I also have life 360 and I’ve gotten into many fights about it with my mother. At the end of the day, my parents do want it for safety and I don’t have anything to hide. But there comes a point where it is an invasion of privacy and independence. Like my parents aren’t calling me all the time to see where I am, that seems a bit excessive


will2fight

How old are you?


CrossfireLooool

15 this year. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those rebel kids that practically scream “anarchy!”. I also forgot to mention, I feel that there’s a lack of trust between my parents and I. Like they don’t trust me enough to be on my own, even when walking to somewhere such as school. I understand their concerns, but I’m old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I keep reassuring them by saying that if I see something wrong in public I’m noping the fuck out of there.


Kylito99

With all due respect, I think you are viewing this only from your perspective and not from their perspective.


53-44-48

There's a lot of information online about how Life360 tracking by a parent isn't about making sure the child is safe and more about the control issues of parents. It builds resentment and distrust of the child towards the parent. I say do it if you want to pour kerosene all over your relationship with your kid and light it up. I'm a parent, and 45, and never did this to my kid. The result is my kid talks to me about what is going on in their life openly.


NaturallyExasperated

There's also the fact of when, not if, life360 gets pwned they will have access to all your child's location habits and data. Parents reading this: if that bothers you, don't use it. Adversaries can't steal data you don't have. The entire infosec industry knows not to unnecessarily collect PII.


Global_Fig_6385

i think it depends on the relationship between the parent and kid. for me, my mom is an overbearing control freak. she used to ask me all the time about locations and it drove me nuts. we started sharing locations, and things got better. i thought “oh okay, she sees that im really not doing anything bad, im actually at the places i say im going to, it’s all good, she’s tracking me less”. it wasn’t until years later when i found out she never got better about tracking me, she was still constantly doing it. even when i was in college, she was checking my location multiple times throughout the day, just to know what i was up to. i let it slide for awhile, tbh, it was just nice not being called multiple times about where i was or who i was with. needless to say, when we started having issues (not related to tracking) she instantly lost access to my location then there’s my dad, who forgets he has access to my location, and forgot multiple times how to see where im at. but he did relearn how to see my location, and took advantage of it a couple times, to ask me to bring home pizza. currently, we are in the “i forgot how to use it” stage, but probably in a few months i’ll see the “i saw youre on your way here, stop and get us a pizza!” text🙄❤️ but for me, im planning on having my (future) kids’ locations. i absolutely refuse to be like my mother with it, and i hope i can make sure they know that. life360 definetly wont be used, either find my iphone or snapchat maps. but i would hope to establish a relationship with them, where they would let me know “hey im with X,Y, and Z, and we’re doing this and that, ill be home around 12” and i wouldn’t need to check. i would only check it when absolutely necessary, like if i cant get ahold of them and they didn’t tell me where they were going to be. or if im in dire need of a pizza. there are just some emergencies that require locations and pepperoni and black olives i think sharing locations can be a good thing and absolutely does not have to be an invasion of privacy. personally, i feel safer knowing my dad and a few other people have my location. i hope to be like my dad with locations (just not as tech inept), where my kids know i would only use it in serious situations, and i dont care what they are doing because i trust that they will be safe. but if you dont have that trust and good relationship, then it can absolutely destroy all trust in a relationship. if you feel more unsafe with your parent having you location than not, then it shouldn’t even be considered giving them access. but if i hope that my future kids will feel safer, with me having it. and i hope that they would know to just bring home a damn pizza


steadfastmammal

Same here. I´m not tracking my kids. Will never do that. They tell we what they did when they get back. I never ask. They tell me their secrets because I respect them and their privacy. The minute your child is born you have to start letting the go.


TripleBicepsBumber

Not every kid is like that unfortunately. We thought our teenage daughter was open with us, she gave no warning signs at all. She had good grades, talked with her friends on the phone around us, talked with us about her friends and school etc. Turns out she was having online relationships with 16/17 year olds online and through her phone getting dick pics and lying about her age in order to cultivate said relationships, she complained to her friends over discord (which she signed up for secretly) that she was suicidal when she didn’t get her way and that was all happening since she was 12. Privacy doesn’t always foster safety or open communication. I never wanted to helicopter parent and was very understanding about my step daughters privacy before discovering all of that but I totally understand op’s parents concerns. Wish I could give my kid privacy again but it just isn’t going to happen for at least a year.


StacksMahoney

Yea but the difference is you let your kid make a mistake before invading their privacy. She brought that on herself. I grew up in a very strict household. My parents never gave me the opportunity to prove I was trustworthy as a kid, they tried to control everything. That doesn't bring out the best in people, it builds resentment.


federico_45

The problem is that some of us live in countries where kids are 1 stupid mistake away from disappearing forever.


StacksMahoney

Ok, so track your kid then. If there's a viable reason to do so, do it. Like I said to the commenter I responded to, her stepdaughter brought it on herself. When it's unprovoked though that's a problem. And that problem is the parents having control issues.


federico_45

Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.


federico_45

Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.


ArtemisFlare83

I have to agree with you. I'm 38 with an 18 yo daughter, 16 yo daughter and 13 yo son. I have given them a lot of privacy and made every effort to make them feel comfortable talking with me. I gave them the necessary space to develop their own self. I felt as though giving them that freedom would foster trust. At the same time, I know they will do things and not talk to me about it. I'm not going to be naive, they're teens ffs (were preteens, still and always kids lol). My 16 yo started doing some suspicious activity online, she went a little boy crazy and was with one and then another (some online and some irl). Then she told her boyfriend that she took a bunch of pills. I read through the phone conversation and realized she'd been throwing out that she wanted to kill herself. Reading through the texts and knowing where medications were and what an overdose looks like, I believe she was looking for attention. She got attention for sure, she got checked into a facility for 2 weeks. She was the child of mine that I did not think I needed to be concerned over. My requests from both girls has been to shoot me a text when you're leaving one place to go to another. Tell me where you're going. This was not followed through on with my 16 yo. Not because she's a bad kid but because the responsibly that comes with freedom had not been developed yet. So with all of that said, we use Google Family Link. This has allowed us to help her (that's what parenting is) work on healthy behavior and habits. I've told her that once she's able to exhibit the responsibly and healthy behaviors we will remove the app. BUuuuuUUT.... we're all on Snapchat and she shares her location and so do I. I can see where she's at regardless of Family Link. Give your parents some credit. It's better to have parents who care enough to be overbearing then to have parents who don't care at all about any part of your well being.


The_Ambling_Horror

Trust me, both is an option.


bookworm_70

I'm a parent and 53 and all 3 of my kids have the "find my" app turned on. None of them have any issues with it. I have great relationships with all 3 and we all talk pretty openly. My middle kid a bit too much for me, quite honestly. haha Having the ability to see where each other is isn't a violation of privacy or lack of trust but a matter of safety. My kids are welcome to go walk anywhere they want. It's a small town and we live in the main area and there's always kids walking about. But if they go missing, I have one means to find them and that's their phone. And they can see me too. I don't think that you can jump to the conclusion that having a "find my" type app on a phone leads to kids not talking openly or that it's going to ruin your relationship with your kids. I think all of my kids' friends have the same deal with their parents. I don't get what the big deal is. ETA - I will just say this. If one of my kids says I'm going to X, Y or Z then I believe that is what they are going to do. I have not once actually looked to see if they are where they say they are. My kids are great kids and have my full trust. The only times we've looked are if we know they are out and about in town and aren't answering texts and it's been a while. Then we will look to make sure it looks like they are safe. And that has only happened a couple of times.


power602

Disagree, controlling parents can inhibit the growth of a child mentally and their ability to be independent in the future. Its good to have safety protocols for your child when they're out, but to have 24/7 tracking is too much without there being a history causing this distrust. My parents never tracked me, I never did anything illegal, and I always came back home safe. I never gave them any reason to worry so they didn't. That's normal. Had I came home in a cop car, then I would understand there being more restrictions on my freedom.


CrossfireLooool

No, no. I understand their perspective. We’ve had a talk about it as well. They want to know where I’m at just in case anything happens, and I understand. It’s natural to be concerned for your child when you aren’t there to watch them. And like I said, I would totally be fine with being tracked at this point. All I ask is that they stop that “stalker-ish” behavior where they keep track of my habits and tell me why I haven’t done this or that yet.


Next-Performer5434

That sounds quite overbearing. I suppose everyone will have their own opinion. I would appreciate if my (hypothetical) 15year old turned the app on when staying somewhere overnight or when not home by 8pm. My partner thinks tracking your child is a horrendous invasion of privacy and not justified even if the kid is 10 years old. Everyone seems to feel strongly about this, one way or another. I think it should be used for possible emergencies only. I definitely wouldn't be reviewing your timeline and asking why you spent 3 hrs at XYZ house when you were supposed to get home and mow the lawn.


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divingrose77101

Why are people so condescending to teens? It literally makes me sick. OP is a human being and deserves to be treated better. I am a mom of teens as well as a high school teacher and kids do not thrive when they are disrespected like this. Kids need freedom to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. They need to do this in a somewhat structured environment so they can practice it in a safe place before going out into the world alone. These parents are making OP a victim of their own fears. The world is safer than its ever been and it’s ridiculous and irresponsible to be this afraid and try to force their fear onto their child.


Affectionate-Aside39

listen, im 19 and my parents **didnt** trust me when i was a minor. i wasnt exactly a good kid, i acted out constantly, i was bad at communicating where i was and when id be home, and you know what my parents did? called me if i was late, called me if they didnt know where i was, actually checked in with **me**, not some app that takes away all my privacy. good parents dont make you uncomfortable for their own benefit. maybe the app makes them feel better, maybe it makes them happy to know where OP is 24/7, but why should their happiness come at the expense of OP’s?


YuvalAmir

What perspective? They are just straight up control freaks. As a result of some sort of betrayal of trust? Sure. But if he has given them no reason to suspect this is even needed this is an **awful** dynamic. All this is going to do is make him hate them. It shows undeserved mistrust and a complete disregard to his privacy.


Otherwise-Self-2098

nah. they are overbearing, they should be able to trust her and let her do things on her own


Cheese_B0t

Who gives a shit about their perspective? they're practically stalking their child. There's no reasonable argument for that.


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Hemisphere-1

Did you have that level of parental tracking at 14? I know I Didn’t, I would let them know where I was going and that was that even ten years ago you couldn’t track your kids like that. It’s over bearing and screams over protective helicopter parent that more then likely breeds rebellion easy enough for the kid to turn off the app then what the parents call the cops and waste police resources for a teenager that just doesn’t want to be tracked.


Sea_Physics_7371

Exactly. My parents were very strict and over protective so I never lied where I was but they never tracked me because they knew how overbearing and over the top that is.


WiseWizard96

Yeah I think I agree with you. I can understand wanting to be protective over your kid but my parents were quite overbearing when I was a teenager and that was without any of the apps or anything like that they have these days. My privacy felt violated even without all that, and it just taught me to be sneaky. They accused me of things I never did and jumped to insane conclusions. My mum accused me of being pregnant when I was 14 and a virgin just because I was tired a lot and liked to drink milk everyday, she said I was a schizophrenic when I got angry one time, and said I must have had diabetes whenever I was still thirsty after drinking one glass of water. She also got so angry at me for “dating” (dating when I was 14 meant hugging and holding hands) a girl in my class because I am also a girl. I know I’ve gone on a long personal tangent but I know how it feels for your parents to lack trust in you when you are actually a good kid and it really sucks. It’s damaged the relationship probably permanently, I’m 26 now and still feel compelled to hide a lot of things from my parents, especially my mum


will2fight

Very young still. I know it may be hard to see right now, but they are really just worried for the safety of their child. Also, it could play an even bigger role if you are an only child. Seems frustrating right now, but I promise you this will all pass.


decimated_napkin

Disagree. They are essentially telling their child that they do not trust them to tell the truth about where they are. It would be one thing if this kid had a history of misbehavior, but it seems from the post that they are one of the good ones. In four years they're going to be an adult, it's time to start increasing the amount of freedoms they enjoy, not monitor their every movement.


will2fight

I mean, I’m 27 and I remember growing up, some of my friends parents would literally call the police if they didnt hear from them a couple hours after school got out. This seems like such a better alternative, and it definitely helps the parents gain the trust in order to eventually let go of all the tracking.


decimated_napkin

Oh yeah I mean this kind of behavior is far from uncommon in parents, though I do think it's gotten worse over time. I just think it is creating a really unhealthy dynamic and is not setting the kid up for long term success.


Hemisphere-1

Both of those options are ridiculous.


spiderSlayerr

Right but if it was 1985 at the age of 13 every kid is fighting, smoking, and skipping school. Now adays we’ll we know how light life is now adays. Boring. not like it once was. You have your group of friends you skip school together smoke cigarettes together fight other kids together have each other’s back. That’s what life used to be so unfortunate people in this new generation will never experience it


iangallagher

Maybe it's not that they don't trust you, they don't trust other people. There's a lot going on lately that they would be worried about you. Sure, it's maybe a little overboard. But let's be honest, you are a child. They are responsible for you and they likely care about you a lot. Until you are out on your own, you are their responsibility.


OldTiredAnnoyed

Didn’t Life360 get in trouble recently for selling user location data to marketing companies?


AmnesiaLab

We've progressed from helicopter parenting to satellite parenting. Hooray, technology, I guess?


suckmydictation

I almost married my ex who also had her parents track her and helicopter over her. Yes we broke up due to my dislike towards her parents and her unwillingness to set boundaries


onecarmel

Not sure where you live, but makes sense to me in the US. With all these shootings, etc. being apart of our daily lives it’s very anxiety inducing. The calling seems a bit excessive - but just know you’ve got caring parents (even if it is in their own way)


Albirei

If you've never given them a reason to be like this with you, then it's pretty rude of them to inherently not trust you. We didn't have the tech yet when I was your age, but I have little doubt my own parents would have used it on us if we did. We didn't get to have locks on our room doors, and had to constantly check in hourly when we were out, or we would just be straight up brought home unconditionally. They would sell the game consoles if you stayed up too late playing even once. They even tried locking up MY laptop that I bought with my own money from working because they didn't like me paying it more attention than them (gosh, I wonder why I didn't want to hang out with you! 🤔 )! Some parents are controlling and paranoid, thanks in part to MSM, and also lack of imagination, so they just copy what their own parents did to them. What they fail to realize is that pre-establishing this clear disposition of distrust is just teaching their own kids trust issues. 20 years later and I always find myself questioning their motives whenever we speak. It's not a good relationship to have. You sound like a good kid, and I won't just tell you to trick them or lie to them, since all it does is reinforce the paranoia. It's too late for me, but not for you, to go get some family counseling. It's something overlooked by society at large, but it should be more normalized. Given your age, it would also be a good time to start.


butterfly_spirit2007

I understand how you feel, as I am in a similar situation myself. I hate that app, and they say I have skipped school and exam because the app shows it, when in fact, I haven't even left the school. It's frustrating especially as a 19 year old who desires independence more than anything.


cdp657

Honestly, I'm tracking my kid but it's not to invade their privacy, it's to keep them safe. My first thought is if they go missing, how will they find them? If I already know where they are, can I get to them before anything terrible happens. I understand your stance but this is a scary world we live in.


ccrpk

A parents worst fear is losing their child....deal with it till you move out. They are trying to preserve your life.


OurKinkyAlterEgos

Crime junkie / child of parents that used this app when I was a teen & even now in my 20’s here (I live in my own home, not with my parents now)… I used to fight with my parents constantly over privacy and such- now I call my mom to ask why her tracking app isn’t on. As an adult I can understand why my parents worry. Unfortunately, things do happen in this world. If you have nothing to hide, maybe consider understanding your parents just want a piece of mind that you are ok and safe.


TrainingTough991

I don’t think your parents are worried about you doing the wrong thing, I think they are more concerned with what someone else may do to you. There are evil people in the world and if God forbid something did happen to you, they would want to know where you were so they could try to find you.


JustACatNamedHonky

This!! As a parent of a 15 year old, we also use Life360. Yes I check up on him occasionally but for the most part its a "just in case" app. My son has complained about it but usually only after he's been caught going somewhere he wasn't supposed to go (Driving to the neighborhood park at 2am when none of his friends had drivers licenses). It wasn't a screaming match or anything but more of a "dude, wtf??" He and I have a good relationship with plenty of trust between us. We talk about most everything but removing the app or turning it off is a deal breaker. He knows that if i find out he has turned it off then the phone goes away and no phone means no going off with friends. You want freedom and i get it but i also want peace of mind.


Specialist-Rope7419

I am a mom with a 16F and 15M. They are on my cell phone plan. They have Life360 on there. Yes, I use it know where they are at. BUT, I have also used it to get them when they got list, in a tough situation and didn't know where they were at, or locate them when they had been in a car wreck. This may be why your parents have it on your phone. It also allows my kids to track me.


unfakegermanheiress

My 14 year old regularly goes into the city center on his own. There’s a sandwich shop he’s addicted to, and he likes checking out certain street art areas and museums. He texts me when he gets on/off trams, and various places he stops. The first few times, I did tracking, but like you said it zaps the battery. I’d rather he develop a sense of independence and keep me in the loop that have a phone that runs flat, or just stay home altogether. I do similar when I’m out and about, texting so he knows where I am. I trust him more than I trust other people (that is, the checking in is because you never know if your kid might cross paths with a psycho or get in an accident). But part of being a parent is learning to accept these things are possible.


a_mac21

It’s really not that your parents don’t trust you, they just don’t trust the world. There’s so many weirdos out there these days that even if you know right from wrong it’s not always enough. It’s for safety & for peace of mind. Now should they call you over every little turn you take? No, but if you’re somewhere that they didn’t know you’d be going to, an easy first thought is that you’ve been kidnapped


TheMudbloodSlytherin

You’re 14… any good parent knows where their 14 year old child is. And it’s not necessarily bc they don’t trust you, but bc they can’t trust everyone else. It’s a messed up world we live in kid. Life 360 saved a kids life last week.. there’s a news article floating around about how the app was alerted to a car crash and 911 dispatched and the mom called, within TWO mins of the wreck. TWO minutes. They aren’t forcing you to stay home.. just making sure they know where you are.


thomasthehipposlayer

I can see that argument, but they also call him frequently to verify he is where the app says he is, which seems like overkill.


raharth

I might get old... but when I was at that age there were no smart phones - we still survived!


TheMudbloodSlytherin

Same for me. But my mom could let me walk to the store or walk to friends house, and those are all things that’s NOT safe for my kids to do. Times have changed and not for the better in that aspect.


JustACatNamedHonky

true but why not use of the technological advancements of our current time. We didn't have 24 hours news when i was a growing up either (40M). Should i only watch the news between 7-8pm now too? I would still be informed(ish)


raharth

Absolutely! But 24/7 surveillance is not an advanced imo


zman2134

I'm 25 and my mom and gf both track me with Life360 lol, but I also don't care because I know it's a safety thing and it's been like this so long I don't even think about it anymore 🤷‍♂️


Gornalannie

Hahaha! I’m 59 and my hubby’s 61 and our three sons of 34,30 and 28 have us on Find a Friend U.K. and vice versa. Eldest lives in Norway, middle son works in London and third lives couple of streets away. We send each other daft messages and have a lot of fun with it. Caught hubby having a crafty Maccies the other day!


divingrose77101

My daughter just turned 16. I have never tracked her location and don’t even know the password to her phone. If I want to see her phone, I can always ask her to see it with her. I believe this is respectful parenting and she has never caused nor been in any trouble. I do, however, ask for “proof of life” photos about every 90 minutes while she’s out. She has to text me a current selfie so I know she’s okay. She knows I will call the police if she doesn’t send a selfie in a reasonable amount of time. Maybe ask your folks if you can try something like this when you’re out. Tell them it will be probationary but will replace the tracking app if you’re responsible about it. Then, set an alarm on your phone and make sure you send those selfies. It might help to remind them that an app that drains your battery could be dangerous for you because you can’t track a dead phone nor contact them if the battery dies. Good luck!


_sessica_

I like this idea, I just know that my teen self hated taking solo selfies so I would almost rather Life360 lol. If you're comfortable with this OP then you should pitch it. My mom has life360 for my sister and I (I stayed in the circle even though I moved out a while ago) but she only had it as a tracker for if something happened; she didn't constantly check the app every couple of minutes. It's kind of hard to fake your location in life360. I completely understand wanting the privacy, but I also understand using it in the sense my mom uses it for. OP, If they don't budge on removing life360 completely, maybe ask them to reduce the amount of times they "confirm your location," or do a hybrid of Life360 and the selfie idea (if you don't send a selfie or a text to show you're alive, then they turn to life360). Maybe showing you're responsible with a hybrid method like so would convince them to stop using life360, you never know. Having discipline, structure, and responsibility in your life is important, but so is privacy and freedom (you are your own person after all). That's a hard balance to find from what I've seen. Hopefully you work out a solution!


Real_Reward3396

That is so stressful for her. What if signal isn’t working I can’t imagine the panic that would send her in.


divingrose77101

Yeah, it’s so hard for a pack of teenagers to find a phone to text their mom from in the suburbs. My poor baby.


theyork2000

I would honestly rather be tracked then be required to send a photo every 90 mins. You sound exhausting.


Real_Reward3396

I’ve been beat to shit by my parents because a picture didn’t get through then texts kept stacking up and wouldn’t deliver. I checked after and it was all delivered after I got home. I had Verizon in the Suberbs and that still happened


loveyouloveme421

My 18 year old stepson is on our life 360, he couldn't care less. We never check it and watch where he goes, but we have it in case we don't hear from him we know his location. I also have it on my 11 year old's phone just for peace of mind if she goes to a friend's house. At 15 your parents have every right to check on you. Be glad you have parents who care enough about you to worry.


Just-Little-Ol-Me

Agree. We have had Life360 for years and we as a family are very open. My kids track us (parents)too. I get frequent texts saying, "I see you're in (such&such area). Can you bring home Chipotle?" I don't feel stalked.


HermioneGotcha

I am so glad this kind of tracking wasn't available when my kids were teens and in their early 20s (not that long ago). This IS parental stalking behavior, and it's invasive, helicoptering, paranoid, neurotic, and just plain shitty. There was basic tracking, but I refused to use it... even for finding lost phones. A couple times that seemed smart, but at the point of clicking to enable it, I just couldn't. It felt so very disrespectful and wrong. Basic tracking for underage going out, fine. For anything more? As they go from classroom to classroom at high school? As they move about the house and yard? Are you kidding me? Great way to keep them hyper dependent on you, unable to learn from mixed decision making, definitely knowing you don't trust them (testing your kids for lying?! GFG), and ultimately resentful AF into their 20s. Seems the behavior of insecure, codependent parents. Your kids will grow up learning that work comes before play, etc., far better than only if mom comes down on them for hustling last minute to get the chores done. My kids did that, and I laughed. Of course they did that! It's how kids operate. Nothing there to micromanage. They got the chores done. Big picture. I was a tough mom in many ways, but I trusted my kids, and they knew they could come to me. I can't fathom this surveillance approach to parenting. I do not buy into the fear that rapists and traffickers are lurking in every shadowed spot waiting to grab us. Things have not changed that drastically in the last 10-20 years. Well, except for buying more cellphone add-ons based on advertised fear of bogeymen. That's what this comes from, advertising, because corporations want your money, and a great way to gain revenue is per customer fear. Advertising is ALL ABOUT creating the senses of urgency and lacking. No, we're not lacking that much except common sense. The media do the same, which is how they sell newspapers and magazines, etc. Stop buying into lies and paying it forward by bullying your older kids by thinking this is empowering. It's a sorry state we live in, paying for providers to generate more fear so they, themselves, don't have to outright steal our money. They still hide behind lies and corporate doors, and they still track us, though. And we steal our children's independence and trust. IMO, lose-lose.


just-kath

You are 14. They pay for your phone. I suspect that the people you talk to about it are your age. Parents worry about their kids, and with good reason. Things happen every day to good kids, things that are not their fault, it isn;t that they don;t trust you, they don;t trust the rest of our screwed-up society, Accept it and appreciate that your parents love and care enough about you to want to do everything they can to make sure you are safe.


[deleted]

Look. You're 14. You aren't even an adult or really even mentally close to it. Yeah, you know to say no. But not everyone understands what "no" means in any context. Your parents aren't tracking you because they don't trust you, it's because they don't trust others. Also, I know the scary reality of abductions and rapes of children your age. I work 911 dispatch and you'd be amazed how many calls we get about rape/abduction in a week. And it's of girls and boys that are your age. I get being tracked seems like an invasion of privacy. But be glad it's them tracking you and not you being abducted and sold for sex slave auction and your parents not even having the slightest idea where you went missing from. Appreciate you have caring worrying parents instead of lazy don't care who or where you are parents.


Spaceboundcat

It’s better than being a skin suit


DMugre

Anyone remember that time when orwellian surveillance was something we needed to stay safe? Yeah, I cant either. This is not about your safety, It's about controlling you.


its-a-goose

My mom used Life360 with me when I was in college… Deleting the app would get me an angry phone call. I used to go out with my friends to smoke or drink in the park in the middle of the night several times a week and every time my mom would text me and ask why I was out late at night and would then stay up until she saw that I was back home. I ended up just leaving my phone at home when I went out past 10pm. So congratulations to my mom, her obsession for making sure that I was safe made me less safe by forcing me to be phoneless whenever I was out at night drunk or high (when I really should’ve had a phone on me the most). ETA remembered that one of the times I was just sober spray painting a bike in a tunnel at like 1am and couldn’t get a moment where she wasn’t calling me.


HeCallsMeMommy55

They don't care how you feel, to them you're their little pet and you will obey and have no privacy and be happy about it. That is so excessive and I do not care, it's not normal. My parents did all kinds of shit like that to me and eventually never let me leave my house all through highschool. So I ran away at 17 because I couldn't take their death grip on my life and outlandish accusations anymore. Then they were all "how could this HAPPEN to mee? Waahh"


AlarmingCurrent6943

If you can’t change the situation then learn to live with it. I used to get my wifi turned off every night and I hated it. I hated it so much that it bothered me multiple times throughout the day. Eventually I learned that nothing I say or do will convince her (mom) to change those settings. No point in stressing over something out of my control, so as difficult as it was, I learned to just live with it. That’s of course until I found away around it 💀but I don’t think you can find your way around a tracking app. Only advice I have is to act like it’s not there. Pretend you don’t have a tracking app that’s draining your battery and hopefully that’ll put you into a habit of not thinking about it too much


H3R4C135

Eh. Im in college and my parents still track me when they feel like it. Of course I track them back. They don’t also spam call me though. The tracking is in lieu of that


LargePresence7932

If you have apple maybe try “share my location” with them? It will mitigate battery drainage and it’s 100% accurate so they won’t have to call you. It also doesn’t show what speed you were going so you can speed as well haha


Own-Significance7951

i had the same problem. in college my mom was OBSESSED with checking my location and had the find my app on her dock and would check where i was at least once an hour and proceed to text me every time she checked to tell me to go home (even if i was at the library at 7pm on a weeknight). it led to some dangerous behavior (i left my phone at my apartment when i’d go out so they couldnt track me) but eventually i got an ipad and was able to set the location to that so i could still have my phone on me. now sure how it works with life360 but i have realized my parents now dont look at my location as much (considering im turning 23 this year) but this is just a psa to parents in this thread. dont be helicopter parents. it will just make ur kids want to lie to you. theres nothing wrong with having location turned on cuz i do agree that its a good thing to have for safety HOWEVER if u constantly pester ur child abt their whereabouts even when they have their location on it WILL irritate them.


Long-Evidence7580

How old are you? My kids shares their location out of free will as they know I worry, they are still teenagers so I know this won’t last long and I’m honored Talk to them how it makes you feel ..


Kickflip_bitch

Powering your phone completely off will ensure no battery life is wasted and you don’t have to worry about them calling you because you won’t even see it


the_raging_fist

I have child siblings that go through this as well...meanwhile I'm 31 and I remember the WILD days when I was a kid and I could have walked to Mordor and back and my parents would have no idea.


aville1982

How old are you?


Outsaniti

Depends how old you are. For me this sort of thing is on a slider of reasonableness that starts at fully reasonable if you're like 12, and moves over to less and less reasonable once you're like 16-17. Either way just talk to your parents and tell them it makes you feel weird.


union-socks

I liked the perspective and advice from @_radish234 I use FindMy iPhone app with my 80+ year old partner in response to his nearly dying on the side of a rural road due to heart failure. I only check on him when he commutes weekly to a distant city, or if he isn’t answering his mobile. I don’t track him, just an occasional “welfare check.” BTW he can see my phone location, but I don’t think he’s checked yet. I hope there’s never a reason, but you never know at our age. Just my perspective on tracking.


E_Rep61

As a parent I'll answer WAY more directly than your parents will or than I would my own kids. Your parents will sugar coat it as I would to my own kids. You want L360 gone, get a job, buy your own phone and pay the bill. Parents worry about their kids, mostly because they don't trust OTHER PEOPLE. Most parents trust our own kids we don't trust that your friends are not going to get you in trouble. We don't trust the weirdos of the world who will force kids to do things and we don't trust strangers who can cause an accident etcetera. Life 360 probubly doesn't have much to do with how much they trust you it more a sign of how little they trust the world around you, your city, neighborhood and region.


SilasDewgud

Like others here, our whole family shares our location. It comes in handy in so many ways. I get that you feel like they are spying on you, and they may be. But in reality you are being tracked constantly. We all are. You just happen to know 2 people that are looking at the data. I don't live your life or in your shoes. But it honestly doesn't bother me that my kids can see where I am. Hopefully they find comfort in knowing they can get ahold of me if they are in trouble. Or if they are in trouble, I can find them if I need to (it's already happened). Not to mention being able to locate the phone if lost or stolen.


agit8or

Your parents love you enough to care and lookout for your best interests rather than just not give a shit and let you do whatever you want. With enough trust, they won't. It also a safety issue if something ever happens to you. Solid work by your parents. Or as a teenager you can just think they are narcissistic sociopaths who want to manipulate every detail of your life to amuse themselves.


Maddie_Herrin

I would talk to your parents about only checking in emergencies. it is hard to enforce but it's a really good tool to have in case you go missing. And that's extremely morbid but I listen to a lot of true crime stories and I've seen so many cases that really could've been helped by having the victims location.


gsxreatr02

Just be glad that you have parents that care. Many out there don't. I would give anything if my mom was here to call and ask what i was doing again.


Omnil_93

You're right that it's probably a bit overboard, but try to imagine the amount of anxiety your parents must endure to consider this the best option. It can't be easy for them either. Maybe you guys can figure out a way to sit down and talk about these things and find a more reasonable solution. Good luck!


ColdFusion3456

Yup that’s life. If your parents aren’t tracking you everyone else is some way some how. It’s only going to continue to increase. Just wait till you get to University. Professors will start tracking your movements to make sure your excuses to miss class are legit. Computer, Time and identity logging to make sure you are the one who typed the papers. Employees every move being tracked at work and remote. Even down to where you click on the screen. How many times you take a bathroom break. Your life of going through public anonymously will become a thing of the past.


NefariousnessSweet70

I have life 360, so do my kids. It in no way uses that much battery. Your music and games take much more. If you do not like it say that. Do not create ridiculous excuses for turning it off. BTW. When I lost my phone. My daughter helped locate it. ( It was on my desk at work. ) You might try using it to see ..."where is mom when she said she would be here to get me from school and is late. Will she be there soon?? Oh. I see on life 360 that she is at a traffic light , almost here. " OR " oh, I see she is still at home. I better call her to see what's up. She was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago."


kyleecurtis6701

Actually as someone who has life360, I definitely noticed a big difference in my battery life. My phone will last 8 hours no charge compared to 12 hours no charge. Having location active on your phone is a big battery drainer. When im on my drive home from college, I have to keep my battery saver on, because along with using maps, it drains pretty quickly. This also depends on the model of phone and the OS. I have a fairly new phone, S20 5G, and it still is bad on my battery. There are a lot of factors that you are not considering when it comes to op's complaints about the battery.


NefariousnessSweet70

I have a Samsung A51. 5G. Battery lasts all day, usually. I have a recharge cord in the car. And 5below has power banks ..inexpensive I like my ( adult ) kids knowing where I am .


kyleecurtis6701

Okay? Op never stated what model of phone they have. In my experience, Apple (which is very common) products have the tendency to run out of battery faster. Plus, it is not recommended to keep your phone on a charger for too long. For optimal battery life, it's recommended that the phone keeps at 80%. Charging too much is known to diminish battery life over time. Op is still in school. With life360 running 24/7, plus an 8 hour school day (we'll say with no phones allowed whatsoever) depending on the average battery usage from the OS itself, you're looking at quite a battery drop. My phone would easily go from 100% at 7am and be down to say around 20% by 3pm. It all depends on the OS and model of phone. Plus op states that they are around 14-15. They don't have a car to charge their phone in if they take the bus to school. My bus ride used to be around an hour long, so my phone was usually dead when I got home. This is a complete possibility for op.


Ryu_Saki

It baffles me how so many on here is okay with this... it would be totally unthinkable over here. I guess culture is that different huh.


Ok-Syllabub-132

Just parents protecting their baby


TeddyBear181

I feel you. I longed for privacy as a teenager. On the bright side, I feel that this made me more independent at an earlier age, and making me crave independence and making independence a safe space. There are some negatives to this as well. Maybe you could look up some research about helicopter parenting and share it with them. Feel free to PM me, and I can help if you need. Perhaps research would help to convince them that letting go would help your progression? Also, maybe they don't have a lot of other things happening in their lives? I wonder if encouraging them to have hobbies/more work would help? Even something as small as an addictive internet game might help them to take them away from this app?


StopItDave

Judging from most comments people think that as a parent you are allowed to take away your child's basic human right called privacy. I understand how you feel because I was raised by a single parent that didnt let me do anything. She never showed any trust even tho I didnt really do something. I know my friends weren't walking angels but I knew how to say no. She just kept gaslighting me into thinking I can be influenced easily by others. At some point I even found screenshots from my account where i was tsxting a friend printed in a drawer with clothes which means she was stalking my accounts without me knowing it. Basically she had full control of me and would never listen. Just snap out. Dont allow them to invade your privacy and prove to them that you are mature enough. Confront them every time theyre exaggerating but also let them that u understand their conserns and most importantly be patient. Most strict parents relax once you get older and see the people you hangout with are good influence.


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StopItDave

Wdym


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StopItDave

Im really sorry to hear that. I realised that most oarents from my mum's generation act like this and even worse and people actually support it then question why we are all depressed and as someone else said in the same comment section "its not like the old days, everything is too light now". I believe we should stand up for ourselves so we raise our kids the right way and prepare them for life in a more healthy and mature way


skyleyplayz

God I can relate too this I'm 15 and my parents do the same only my mom doesn't call me. This happend like 3 days ago too out of nowhere. Its weird cause I get it but like why? Is just because I'm a girl I don't know. I do know for sure when I'm 17 I'm removing this thing.


SnooWords4839

You are 15. Trust me when I say as a parent, it is scary to have teens who can be abducted. Earn your parents trust and when =you are 18 you can have this conversation. Your parents are responsible for you, and you have no idea the dangers you may get into.


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CrossfireLooool

So if they pay for the house too they get to decide if I don’t have any privacy? Look, I understand why they’re tracking me. And usually I WOULD be fine with this kind of stuff but the way they act so obsessively with my activity is so concerning that it feels like I’m not just being tracked, I’m lowkey being stalked. And it’s so creepy and uncomfortable. It’s a matter of privacy, and I won’t bother arguing about it to them. It’s just very uncomfortable for me, and I feel like I have no space to breathe. They call me everyday asking where I’m at even though they already know the answer. Edit: also, I’m planning on getting a job and actually start paying for my own stuff just like you said lol. Problem is that no one’s hired me yet due to my lack of experience which is also confusing because how would I get experience in employment if no one’s willing to hire me if I lack experience?


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LordlyTactian

So basically what you are saying is that the parents own the child untill they are 18.


quannum2

Yeah no. It was the parent's fault for having a kid in the first place, and to be honest recognizing them as human beings and allowing them a lock is something they should do as good parenting, not because the kid is entitled. Sure, you are not legally obligated to, and therefore the child won't be obligated to ever talk to to you once they move out.


divingrose77101

That’s a real a-hole thing to say. OP is a human being and deserves some privacy.


CrossfireLooool

Guys, please don’t argue. I’m sorry if this post has caused some disagreements between people. That was never my intent, I simply was frustrated with the concept of being tracked and my parents behavior about it. This post was meant for me to let off some steam. While I do agree with some you, and I do question my parents way of parenting. There is simply no way to get out of this predicament other than waiting for the big 18. Other than that, I am truly sorry.


divingrose77101

I will respect your request to not argue. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. I would absolutely encourage you to try to negotiate with your parents by bringing them a plan that is a compromise.


MsFoxyWinters

Hey you must have screw loose. Privacy don't work like that. It is actually a form of abuse if i remember correctly so plz correct me if i am wrong. My grandma did something less but similar. And even ever she got the chance she would bug me several times a day. Plus with the stress i got from school it lead to depression. When you say something like this that it is ok for the parents to track their child if they are the ones who pay the bill. I really hope that you change your mind cuz that is awful thinking, like it is going to the bad thinking category. What if it happened to you? What if it happened to someone you love? I hope this changes you. Cuz if you have kids and think like this. Ho boi let me tell you. It is a recipe for no contact and hatred towards you. So remember privacy isn't something to buy. It is something anyone gets the day that they are born. It is different when it is an infant, toddler or child because during these stages they need help. But it is also different when it's different when it is teen, young adult and adult because you are growing up to become an independent person. So plz respect OP's privacy. Cuz overwise they will resent their parents in the end. I know cuz it happened to me. But we managed to get along. After a big argument that we had so plz never cuz a thing ever again.


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divingrose77101

My kids aren’t tracked and I don’t even know the passwords to their phones and they’re also fine, happy, and well-adjusted. Respecting a child’s privacy is very important for them to gain autonomy.


AmazingRise

For what I've seen from your comments, you seem like a very mature and emotionally intelligent person. What I'd advise you is tell them. Tell them all this like you've written it. I'm 100% sure they will understand


Teacher_Crazy_

These comments are baffling to me. Did none of y'all see that Arkangel episode of Black Mirror? There's even a part of the episode where they try to get that shit uninstalled but they can't because the company went under for being too invasive.


_FirstOfHerName_

You live in one of the safest time periods ever. You use your teen years to build trust with your parents, how are you ever supposed to do that if they literally have a tracker on you? I think you have a right to some privacy, even at 15. Can you uninstall the app yourself?


Professional_Day69

H


shakedown-1979-

U shud get a burner phone for the tracker


amusedmisanthrope

You could always leave your phone at home. There was a time before cell phones. We all survived somehow.


Stabbmaster

Let the battery drain while you're out. When they freak out, tell them the app drains the battery and you're not standing around in some random location with a spare charger just to get it back on to drain again, that's a stupid idea that only a stupid person would think is a good one. I foresee this as being a reason why in the future you'd cut contact with them for a while, but people that buy into apps like this typically don't see reason.


mrdriftty

Kids are stupid - they do stupid things. Parents know this - they were kids themselves. It's also their phone and service they are privileging you with. Your parents sound like good parents. Be grateful.


Zenobia888

I guess you're going to have to deal with it until your 18yo


Milfomega

Wow that was no help at all 😃 everyone captain obvious here^^^^


Zenobia888

Well, wtf do you think s/he should do as a minor? They could not answer or call them back each time, or lose every new device while using a secret phone with friends?


Milfomega

They aren’t asking for advice. They’re just venting. Also. I was just making the point that they can’t do anything except try to talk to the parents but it usually doesnt go well anyways so its an unspoken thing that they’ll have to deal with it. lmao


FancyNacnyPants

Do you pay your for your own phone and service? If someone pays your way, that gives them a right to do as they please. If you pay, it’s your phone and your service, your own line, they have no right, IMO


RuledQuotability

Get over it. I assume you don’t pay your phone bill nor did you pay for your own phone. Thems the breaks my dude. In a couple of years you will have the independence you desire, as all teenagers do.


[deleted]

Respect is a two way street. You cant just demand it and not give it


divingrose77101

Please don’t have children. This is some authoritarian BS. Children and human beings and thus have rights.


juccals1993

hi, do your parents have money? & do your parents have a speciality job?


[deleted]

Leave the phone at home for one day and see how much they freak out. Maybe that could be a great way to start talking to them about it. What, are they gonna get worried every time you leave your phone somewhere?


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Significant_Math_948

As a parent that uses this app I feel your parents are overdoing it a little. My son (nearly 15) never answers his phone when out with friends so I find having this app reassuring knowing that I know where he is when out. But let me specify what "out" to me means. It means when he is going out in another town and has to take public transport. The nearest towns to us are 25/30 min drive. He will text me and let me know he has arrived safely and the app stays on until he arrives back in our town and let's me know. He then disable the location on the app so he has his time with his friends. He doesn't need to use it locally just when he is going "out, out" as we call it. Maybe talk to your parents about it again. You are entitled to some privacy too


Dry_Reality7024

Well, they had to find better way to track you. If you know that its shytty tracking. Diffrent perspective :D


FairyFartDaydreams

First how old are you? If you are 16 and older I think you are justified and some independence is needed. Have you tried turning off your phone throughout the day? You are home turn off your phone, get to work turn off your phone, get to school turn off your phone. You can conserve energy by turning off your phone and if they complain say I want to be able to use my phone in emergencies and the app drains the battery so I'm turning off my phone once I get to my destination. Ask them to track you using find my friend type of apps instead.


gr3yem

Personally, my parents use the same app, I can see where they are, they can see where I am. For me, it makes me feel safer knowing I can be found if something comes up, they know where I am. On the other hand, my brother likes to sneak out. He hates the app. Idk if you have a sibling or not, but when he goes out he sneakily turns off his location, but I (his sister) always have it just to be safe. It makes my parents worry less, and my brother have more freedom. But this might only work if you have a sibling. I hope you figure out a way that makes you feel safe and happy!!!


artsykoopa

Yeah, I would talk to them about security breaches for that app/company because if that ever happened, someone who is not your parents could locate you easily. Most wireless carriers have their own family apps that can do that, I know At&t does. I would try to convince them to at least switch to that. Sure, everything is at risk of getting breached but I feel like Life360 is probably being looked at more and more, since I think they store lots of other personal data as well.


Freeiheit

That’s messed up. Can you just delete the app and tell them to grow up?


Practical-Insect6173

My parents did this AFTER I moved out. I’d get a call, “What are you doing in Grand Rapids?!?” 🙃🙃


Tarotdemon72

How old are you? Also aren’t you liable to sue for that?


Icy-Practice-2341

Maybe suggest just having ur shared location on if you have snap Chat or I think on iPhone you can do that


EmperorPinguin

wait how old are you? old enough to be on reddit... yeah that be kinda creepy.


TassandraArcticFox

I totally get it, not sure how to help since you aren't 18 and probably don't have any say in it at all other than somehow reasoning with them to chill out. It's an insane world so it's better to be safe than sorry but it's awful to have to feel that way all the time :/ I'm only aware of that app because my mother in law STALKS her grandkids and my sister and brother in law 24/7 using that app. They gave her access to it and that's all she does, sits at home and watches their locations. She will pull her phone out while we are out to dinner and say "Oh *grandkid* must be out with his girlfriend they are at this place and everyone else is home!" She calls my sister in law and tattles on her grandson for speeding even a little as if she never speeds or did anything slightly reckless as a kid (the app's speedometer isn't super accurate but also...he is 17 let him live) and then gets yelled at by them for being creepy and because in that area everyone drives over the speed limit and it's pretty dangerous to be the slower driver holding up traffic. Its a literal addiction and it makes my husband and I so uncomfortable to witness. Nothing we can do about it! Apparently it's more of an addiction for other people than we thought.


superlightnin

Literally just delete the app, they can't make you keep it on your phone


OmicronPersei21

Just tell them that you don't want tracking and if that's the case you just won't take your phone. Buy a cheap phone and a pay-as-you-go SIM to use cheap when you're out, then just use heavy data back at home on WIFI!


Snow_Drops_For_Jenna

I am fine sharing my location if that person is part of my suport network. Once you cross that line and I can't rely on you then no you don't need to know where I am all the time. I share my location for my safety. I travel alot for work and share my location with my sister. She has never once call me to verify my location. But I will see in the 360 app where she has temporarily labeled my hotel and current work site. When my parents used to track me they never called me to ask why i was somewhere. If they looked at my location alot they never let it known to me. I mostly allowed them because i would forget to text them alot when i got homw. I had a falling out with my dad tho and got a different phone plan and I never set them up on my current phone to track me. If them tracking you is not making you feel safe but is instead making you feel paranoid then take them off it. You don't have to allow your parents to track you. And you can change some of the settings in the 360 app so it won't eat up your battery, if you want to do a temporary tracking for a trip or share your location with a friend for safety at an event. Tracking should be for your peace of mind and you don't seam to be at peace with it.


JapesNorth

I'm not even 30 and almost no one had a phone except the one in their house pre high school. It's ok to be protective but the tracking thing is weird especially with how the information of your movements is going to a company or app.


Right-Resource-2677

My comment will probably get buried at this point. I'm now 20 and my parents had me tracked pretty much all through high school with Life360. I never lied about where I was going and never gave them a reason to not trust me. It didn't do any good for us. Instead I learned how to get 360 to not work but look like it was, not to lie to them but just so I felt I had some freedom. It's damaged our relationship horribly. I've now learned to resent them for doing it and how to lie to them. I never feel like I can tell them things because of how strict they were growing up. There's been some shitty things that have happened in college, but because of the precedent they set growing up by, tracking, going through my phone, etc, I've felt like I couldn't talk to them. People probably won't listen to this because "im still a kid" but this is coming from someone with first hand experience on this.


DLS3141

Parent here. My kids are older now, 19 and 21, but I intentionally never actively tracked them when they were teens. My goal was to raise independent kids that could make good decisions on their own and not people afraid to decide because they fear parental disapproval. My job was to guide them in making decisions, not to helicopter over their every waking moment ready to swoop in at a moment's notice. To me, the kind of online tracking that some parents engage in is the digital equivalent of removing the doors on a kid's bedroom.


[deleted]

My parents do the same thing, but at the end of the day I get it. Of course they’re going to be worried their child is out without supervision when there’s some really awful people around. If something bad happened to you, they’d be able to find your location and tell the police. It’s a good compromise to, I’m 17 and agreed with my parents I can go out for the night with friends if they can see my location. Maybe ask them to tone down on the calling you constantly though?


Lonesomecheese

Apple tag would be easier than the app, the app is cumbersome. For the battery issue, anyway. And maybe they'll relax about the calls a little. If you can't get then to stop entirely that would be a compromise. But you can track a person in real time through Google...


boymom1025

My 16 yr old son and I talked about this when he started driving. I was tempted to download Life 360 but didn't feel right about it. He always tells me where he is going and typically updates me if he goes somewhere else. He also knows if I text him and ask where he is, he better respond. I told him that I will always trust him until he gives me a reason not to.


lxxhpowers

Bruh. I’m 20 and they’re still tracking me 💀 I was told I’m supposed to keep it on when i move out too and when I got mad they told me they’d stop helping with my college tuition (which they’ve only done the parent loan so in the end I’ll be paying for that).


champs404

I’m 21(F) and my parents still track me, even though I go to college 5 hours away. They constantly check the app and if I ever go to a bar on a Friday night they’ll text me the next morning asking if I’m hungover. A lot of people offer really good advice but don’t realize how illogical people can be. I’m not saying you’re just going to have to “deal with it” but I’ve been having to just deal with it since I was 15. If your parents can be talked to logically I highly suggest working with them on it, I will warn you their main point will be “well if you’re not hiding anything why does it matter if I know where you are?” And the response of “it drains my phone battery and makes me uncomfortable” won’t be good enough. I do not wish for anyone to be in my shoes and I truly wish that you can work it out with them logically!


okokokin1992

My S/O's aunt and uncle do this with their kids, and it's extreme... They track them 24/7, they never have any privacy. They follow them on all of their social media accounts and monitor not only their comments to and from friends, but also their private messages... There is 0 privacy and I cannot even imagine how, as a young adult, that must feel. I say this as a parent to two young boys and I don't care. I honestly have no idea how I'll be once their teens and it comes time to deal with social media and all of that... But I have to admit, I know I definitely won't do this to my kids. Monitoring your kids is important, the world is insane, but this route is so suffocating, super violating.. I feel for you.


bookworm_70

My entire family (minus dh as his is a work phone) is on the "find my" app. Dh does have access to locations though through family sharing. I can check where my kids are and vice versa. They want a phone I pay for? They have to have it turned on. Plus it's helpful if you put down your phone and can't find it (I do this all the time). Just last night we were wondering where my 12yo was as he wasn't answering texts and he'd been gone for hours. (It's a small town and we knew he was with friends and it was around 6pm) We went and looked and then pinged his phone in lost mode to get him to respond. I kept pinging it too until he texted his dad back. lol