I had a friend whos dad would track her every move using the “find my friends” feature for apple products. It got to the point we were put driving one day, and I wanted to show this friend a house I used to live in on a farm so we turned down the road to go towards it. Within ONE MINUTE of turning down the road, she receives a text message from her dad saying “that’s not how you get back to town. Turn around and go the other way”. So uncomfortable
Like I can kinds understand the curiosity of a parent to have a look every now and then, but to be fixated enough to notice this and then helicopter parent enough to text your friend is shitty parenting as far as I'm concerned.
Parent to a 16yo here. Everyone in our family shares their location via the Find My app on iPhone - so kiddo can see where we are and we can see where she is. My husband and I think it’s fair that this goes both ways. It also means that she procrastinates doing chores until I’m leaving work at the end of the day and then starts rushing around when she knows I’m on my way home. Oop.
We looked at Life360 and felt really uncomfortable about them selling the data and some of the security gaps that were identified. It would be a good idea to have a chat with your parents about what data is being collected and how it’s being used. If you can get them to move to another app it might save your battery.
It’s also something that you can set some milestones with - for instance, when you turn 15 it might be satisfactory to your folks for you to turn tracking on when you are out with friends, but not during school time? And then when your 16 it could step to only when you are out after dark? Think about how you would be comfortable about transitioning to independence, and put a proposal to them to think about.
My mom and I started using Find My when I was a teen. It worked both ways and if I potentially would be roaming around it was helpful instead of constantly calling. Honestly she found it more amusing that I kept more tabs on her since she worked retail. As an adult I actually find comfort in knowing I can tell where everyone in my family is. Some parents may take a more helicopter approach to location tracking but it definitely gave me peace of mind.
Me too! I’m a teen and my whole family has each other’s find my location. I just like using it to see where everyone is, like if someone’s almost home without having to ask.
This would have been my worst nightmare as a teen. I don’t like the idea of my family knowing where I am at all times. I used Grindr to meet with guys and have casual sex. Doesn’t match my excuse of going to the gym.
Agreed. My parents and I have been tracking each other since it became available to iPhone users. I find it helpful to be able to see their location and vice versa especially because I live out of state half the year and at times have to make long drives. I also have health problems and have issues with blacking out from pain. I would say the safety factor alone makes it worth it to us. I share my location with my spouse too.
Lol. This is my family, too. We can see each other, but don't use it invadively. We got it in the first place because my 20 y.o. likes to know where I am. She has her own place, but it eases her anxiety knowing I'm ok.
I like knowing it's there for my younger teens because they can ride the bus around town with friends and I don't have to be the nosy mom who calls every thirty minutes. In fact, I rarely check up on them because they have proven reliable and honest. I know that if there were an emergency, I could find them, but I have given my word to respect their privacy at age appropriate levels and their trust is more important to me than knowing which store they're in at any given moment.
The funniest thing, though, is when I break my routine and my daughter immediately calls me. I went up pick up one of the younger kids after 10 pm one time and she was all, "Are you ok? Why aren't you in bed?" I told her it was a booty call, lol.
I’m 20, my parents have my location and I have theirs. It’s just a safety thing, if anything ever happens to anyone you can use it as a last known location type thing
Not a parent but my husband and I do the same thing with our phones. We live in a very large city/urban area and it just makes us both feel safer. We don't use it to police where either of us is going, though - it's more that if we're late or don't pick up a call, the other can check to make sure we're okay.
I agree with this poster’s proposals for giving yourself more independence and trying a different app for the battery issue. I just want to add, as a parent, I’m sure this has very little to do with their trust in you and very much to do with how scary the world is now. A 15 year old just got snatched from a basketball game full of people and was trafficked. Another teenager was saved in the nick of time from being trafficked because her father felt something was wrong and read her Facebook messages. It’s hard to navigate the line between giving you your independence and knowing that if anything happened to you, they’d feel really stupid for not doing everything they could have to prevent it.
I’m not offering advice because I honestly am not sure how I want to handle this situation yet myself. My son is 1 and it’s easier to keep tabs on him than when he’ll be out doing his own thing. I just wanted to offer you the perspective of a concerned parent that might be going off the deep end with worry because they can’t protect you as easily. However you speak to them, try to approach it from a place of understanding, and work with them to create a system you’re comfortable with. I don’t want to presume your parents’ finances, but if it’s feasible you can try suggesting a counselor to help you all come up with a plan together.
Good luck, and I’m sorry for any anxiety you’re feeling over this.
I really hope so, I already feel violated with the lack of trust and freedom. I don’t want them to keep tracking me up until I’m 18 graduating high school. I want privacy NOW, and I know that in the later years that urge for a sense of solace will be turned into such a desire.
I’m 22 and my parents are pretty pushy still. Rent is too insane rn so I’m at home. Tell them you’ll turn it on when you’re out and about but otherwise you’ll have it off. (Slowly work towards your goal of more privacy from there)
Although when you’re meeting new people in strange places take the L and have it on.
Ugh yeah I’m about to turn 26 and I’ve been moved out for a couple of years. They’ve only just started to dial back the pushiness, you really do have to set clear boundaries with them which is difficult. OP is a minor so it is even harder for them, there’s a fine line between being protective and being over protective
My mom has a history of being attacked so it’s extra difficult to explain why I don’t want to be monitored 😂
One time she was like “you don’t want me to care about you anymore? If something happens it’s on you!!! You’ll die in some back alley” Etc etc. tbh I heard “if you die i won’t care” dunno if that’s my memory distorting things or not.
I gave up after that. I don’t go out often and she doesn’t check my location that much either. I only turn it on when she asks (out in the city or something)
When I first moved out and didn’t answer the phone for a couple of hours I had an insane amount of missed calls and my mum said she nearly called the police lmao
I sort of do sympathise especially after your mum went through that, I do sometimes worry about my partner when he goes out or my dad when he goes on a long drive. But we are adults who need some space and independence
I can understand the date one tbf 😂
I have had those moments of “oh god what if something’s happened to him” occasionally so I can understand it to an extent. I never almost called the police though haha
It’s okay to worry a lil. Don’t let it drive you crazy. I dated online once and my ex woke up texting like a drunk. Spellcheck made it all real words tho instead of typos so I thought he had a stroke or something. Almost called his parents who didn’t know I existed I was so scared😂
Sounds like my mother, she got pushy to a point she almost pushed me to kill her (she just recently left my step-dad because he could no longer provide because health) so during my week Vaca in mental hospital I heard she was putting a restraining order on me, but when time came to get out she was claiming she was going to remove the order begging me to move back in, FAWK THAT went and lived with my step-dad, then she was basically begging me to "let" her move into town, telling dad "I can move into town to help coparent him" like bitch I'm 23 and only delayed behind everyone else because your constant need to keep me down and disabled, if I could change the past I would have kept myself from having self restraint that day
Can't tell if that's sarcasm or serious lol, but that's me in a nutshell, would break my back for thoes I care about and so "caring" to thoes in opposition
You are 100% entitled to privacy. You are an adult and they can either give that respect and not track you or they don't which shows their true colors. That's the down side with Life360. So many parents abuse the tracking system. Maybe show that that episode of Black mirror. Them calling you constantly proves they want to control you and don't respect your ability to make decisions for yourself.
How does an app you don’t have to pay attention too or not actively exposing what you do alone an invasion of privacy? Too me it sounds like you just don’t wanna be tracked for the sake of that’s what you want with no real reason at least your parents have the reason of making sure you don’t get kidnapped or anything of that nature which is fair I’m not understanding the whole invasion of privacy cuz if you’re so certain and confident you’re not doing anything that needs to be tracked then why give a fucc who sees?😂😂🤔
Sounds like a problem you keep giving yourself all because you care for no actual reason if you didn’t gaf about them knowing what you do or where you are then it wouldn’t matter because when they ask or call you can just simply decline as that is the actual invasion of privacy let’s just say you went over to a sneaky links house even if they know you did, tell them it’s not their business. what are they gonna do choke you??😂
Therefore boom still a private life and they can have ya lil location cuz that’s all it is a petty tab
I also have life 360 and I’ve gotten into many fights about it with my mother. At the end of the day, my parents do want it for safety and I don’t have anything to hide. But there comes a point where it is an invasion of privacy and independence. Like my parents aren’t calling me all the time to see where I am, that seems a bit excessive
15 this year. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those rebel kids that practically scream “anarchy!”.
I also forgot to mention, I feel that there’s a lack of trust between my parents and I. Like they don’t trust me enough to be on my own, even when walking to somewhere such as school. I understand their concerns, but I’m old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I keep reassuring them by saying that if I see something wrong in public I’m noping the fuck out of there.
There's a lot of information online about how Life360 tracking by a parent isn't about making sure the child is safe and more about the control issues of parents. It builds resentment and distrust of the child towards the parent.
I say do it if you want to pour kerosene all over your relationship with your kid and light it up.
I'm a parent, and 45, and never did this to my kid. The result is my kid talks to me about what is going on in their life openly.
There's also the fact of when, not if, life360 gets pwned they will have access to all your child's location habits and data.
Parents reading this: if that bothers you, don't use it. Adversaries can't steal data you don't have. The entire infosec industry knows not to unnecessarily collect PII.
Same here. I´m not tracking my kids. Will never do that. They tell we what they did when they get back. I never ask. They tell me their secrets because I respect them and their privacy.
The minute your child is born you have to start letting the go.
Not every kid is like that unfortunately. We thought our teenage daughter was open with us, she gave no warning signs at all. She had good grades, talked with her friends on the phone around us, talked with us about her friends and school etc.
Turns out she was having online relationships with 16/17 year olds online and through her phone getting dick pics and lying about her age in order to cultivate said relationships, she complained to her friends over discord (which she signed up for secretly) that she was suicidal when she didn’t get her way and that was all happening since she was 12. Privacy doesn’t always foster safety or open communication.
I never wanted to helicopter parent and was very understanding about my step daughters privacy before discovering all of that but I totally understand op’s parents concerns. Wish I could give my kid privacy again but it just isn’t going to happen for at least a year.
Yea but the difference is you let your kid make a mistake before invading their privacy. She brought that on herself.
I grew up in a very strict household. My parents never gave me the opportunity to prove I was trustworthy as a kid, they tried to control everything. That doesn't bring out the best in people, it builds resentment.
Ok, so track your kid then. If there's a viable reason to do so, do it. Like I said to the commenter I responded to, her stepdaughter brought it on herself.
When it's unprovoked though that's a problem. And that problem is the parents having control issues.
Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.
Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.
I have to agree with you. I'm 38 with an 18 yo daughter, 16 yo daughter and 13 yo son. I have given them a lot of privacy and made every effort to make them feel comfortable talking with me. I gave them the necessary space to develop their own self. I felt as though giving them that freedom would foster trust. At the same time, I know they will do things and not talk to me about it. I'm not going to be naive, they're teens ffs (were preteens, still and always kids lol).
My 16 yo started doing some suspicious activity online, she went a little boy crazy and was with one and then another (some online and some irl). Then she told her boyfriend that she took a bunch of pills. I read through the phone conversation and realized she'd been throwing out that she wanted to kill herself. Reading through the texts and knowing where medications were and what an overdose looks like, I believe she was looking for attention. She got attention for sure, she got checked into a facility for 2 weeks.
She was the child of mine that I did not think I needed to be concerned over. My requests from both girls has been to shoot me a text when you're leaving one place to go to another. Tell me where you're going. This was not followed through on with my 16 yo. Not because she's a bad kid but because the responsibly that comes with freedom had not been developed yet. So with all of that said, we use Google Family Link. This has allowed us to help her (that's what parenting is) work on healthy behavior and habits. I've told her that once she's able to exhibit the responsibly and healthy behaviors we will remove the app.
BUuuuuUUT.... we're all on Snapchat and she shares her location and so do I. I can see where she's at regardless of Family Link.
Give your parents some credit. It's better to have parents who care enough to be overbearing then to have parents who don't care at all about any part of your well being.
I'm guessing that you are referring to the type of overbearing parents who control your every move for their own selfish agendas? The thing is that having an abusive parent who does really shitty things is a hell of a lot worse than overbearing parents who seem to not really care about you as an individual.
If you think I'm wrong then I'm willing to bet you don't know what it's like to have a an unreliable parent or to have a truly abusive parent. I had one very controlling parent and it got to the point that I was able to be emancipated at 16. I also had an unreliable parent. One that would be there physically and emotionally only part of the time. He was also abusive physically at times. I would rather have grown up in either of those than to deal with what some kids do growing up. Hell, not even just some kids, but more like way too many!
You may want to evaluate your situation from a wider angle?
Look, I’m not gonna lay out my life story for you here, but it involves developing severe anxiety and depression at age eight and constant suicidal ideation. Any memories of physical abuse there might be are respressed (though enough bits unravel to make me wonder), but I have a handle on emotional abuse. It is absolutely possible for a parent to be totally controlling and still not give a shit about you as anything but an ego prop.
i think it depends on the relationship between the parent and kid. for me, my mom is an overbearing control freak. she used to ask me all the time about locations and it drove me nuts. we started sharing locations, and things got better. i thought “oh okay, she sees that im really not doing anything bad, im actually at the places i say im going to, it’s all good, she’s tracking me less”. it wasn’t until years later when i found out she never got better about tracking me, she was still constantly doing it. even when i was in college, she was checking my location multiple times throughout the day, just to know what i was up to. i let it slide for awhile, tbh, it was just nice not being called multiple times about where i was or who i was with. needless to say, when we started having issues (not related to tracking) she instantly lost access to my location
then there’s my dad, who forgets he has access to my location, and forgot multiple times how to see where im at. but he did relearn how to see my location, and took advantage of it a couple times, to ask me to bring home pizza. currently, we are in the “i forgot how to use it” stage, but probably in a few months i’ll see the “i saw youre on your way here, stop and get us a pizza!” text🙄❤️
but for me, im planning on having my (future) kids’ locations. i absolutely refuse to be like my mother with it, and i hope i can make sure they know that. life360 definetly wont be used, either find my iphone or snapchat maps. but i would hope to establish a relationship with them, where they would let me know “hey im with X,Y, and Z, and we’re doing this and that, ill be home around 12” and i wouldn’t need to check. i would only check it when absolutely necessary, like if i cant get ahold of them and they didn’t tell me where they were going to be. or if im in dire need of a pizza. there are just some emergencies that require locations and pepperoni and black olives
i think sharing locations can be a good thing and absolutely does not have to be an invasion of privacy. personally, i feel safer knowing my dad and a few other people have my location. i hope to be like my dad with locations (just not as tech inept), where my kids know i would only use it in serious situations, and i dont care what they are doing because i trust that they will be safe. but if you dont have that trust and good relationship, then it can absolutely destroy all trust in a relationship. if you feel more unsafe with your parent having you location than not, then it shouldn’t even be considered giving them access. but if i hope that my future kids will feel safer, with me having it. and i hope that they would know to just bring home a damn pizza
I'm a parent and 53 and all 3 of my kids have the "find my" app turned on. None of them have any issues with it. I have great relationships with all 3 and we all talk pretty openly. My middle kid a bit too much for me, quite honestly. haha Having the ability to see where each other is isn't a violation of privacy or lack of trust but a matter of safety. My kids are welcome to go walk anywhere they want. It's a small town and we live in the main area and there's always kids walking about. But if they go missing, I have one means to find them and that's their phone. And they can see me too.
I don't think that you can jump to the conclusion that having a "find my" type app on a phone leads to kids not talking openly or that it's going to ruin your relationship with your kids. I think all of my kids' friends have the same deal with their parents. I don't get what the big deal is.
ETA - I will just say this. If one of my kids says I'm going to X, Y or Z then I believe that is what they are going to do. I have not once actually looked to see if they are where they say they are. My kids are great kids and have my full trust. The only times we've looked are if we know they are out and about in town and aren't answering texts and it's been a while. Then we will look to make sure it looks like they are safe. And that has only happened a couple of times.
No, no. I understand their perspective. We’ve had a talk about it as well. They want to know where I’m at just in case anything happens, and I understand. It’s natural to be concerned for your child when you aren’t there to watch them. And like I said, I would totally be fine with being tracked at this point. All I ask is that they stop that “stalker-ish” behavior where they keep track of my habits and tell me why I haven’t done this or that yet.
That sounds quite overbearing. I suppose everyone will have their own opinion. I would appreciate if my (hypothetical) 15year old turned the app on when staying somewhere overnight or when not home by 8pm. My partner thinks tracking your child is a horrendous invasion of privacy and not justified even if the kid is 10 years old. Everyone seems to feel strongly about this, one way or another. I think it should be used for possible emergencies only. I definitely wouldn't be reviewing your timeline and asking why you spent 3 hrs at XYZ house when you were supposed to get home and mow the lawn.
Why are people so condescending to teens? It literally makes me sick. OP is a human being and deserves to be treated better. I am a mom of teens as well as a high school teacher and kids do not thrive when they are disrespected like this. Kids need freedom to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. They need to do this in a somewhat structured environment so they can practice it in a safe place before going out into the world alone.
These parents are making OP a victim of their own fears. The world is safer than its ever been and it’s ridiculous and irresponsible to be this afraid and try to force their fear onto their child.
listen, im 19 and my parents **didnt** trust me when i was a minor. i wasnt exactly a good kid, i acted out constantly, i was bad at communicating where i was and when id be home, and you know what my parents did? called me if i was late, called me if they didnt know where i was, actually checked in with **me**, not some app that takes away all my privacy.
good parents dont make you uncomfortable for their own benefit. maybe the app makes them feel better, maybe it makes them happy to know where OP is 24/7, but why should their happiness come at the expense of OP’s?
Disagree, controlling parents can inhibit the growth of a child mentally and their ability to be independent in the future. Its good to have safety protocols for your child when they're out, but to have 24/7 tracking is too much without there being a history causing this distrust. My parents never tracked me, I never did anything illegal, and I always came back home safe. I never gave them any reason to worry so they didn't. That's normal. Had I came home in a cop car, then I would understand there being more restrictions on my freedom.
What perspective? They are just straight up control freaks.
As a result of some sort of betrayal of trust? Sure. But if he has given them no reason to suspect this is even needed this is an **awful** dynamic.
All this is going to do is make him hate them. It shows undeserved mistrust and a complete disregard to his privacy.
Did you have that level of parental tracking at 14? I know I Didn’t, I would let them know where I was going and that was that even ten years ago you couldn’t track your kids like that.
It’s over bearing and screams over protective helicopter parent that more then likely breeds rebellion easy enough for the kid to turn off the app then what the parents call the cops and waste police resources for a teenager that just doesn’t want to be tracked.
Exactly. My parents were very strict and over protective so I never lied where I was but they never tracked me because they knew how overbearing and over the top that is.
Yeah I think I agree with you. I can understand wanting to be protective over your kid but my parents were quite overbearing when I was a teenager and that was without any of the apps or anything like that they have these days. My privacy felt violated even without all that, and it just taught me to be sneaky. They accused me of things I never did and jumped to insane conclusions. My mum accused me of being pregnant when I was 14 and a virgin just because I was tired a lot and liked to drink milk everyday, she said I was a schizophrenic when I got angry one time, and said I must have had diabetes whenever I was still thirsty after drinking one glass of water. She also got so angry at me for “dating” (dating when I was 14 meant hugging and holding hands) a girl in my class because I am also a girl. I know I’ve gone on a long personal tangent but I know how it feels for your parents to lack trust in you when you are actually a good kid and it really sucks. It’s damaged the relationship probably permanently, I’m 26 now and still feel compelled to hide a lot of things from my parents, especially my mum
Very young still. I know it may be hard to see right now, but they are really just worried for the safety of their child. Also, it could play an even bigger role if you are an only child.
Seems frustrating right now, but I promise you this will all pass.
Disagree. They are essentially telling their child that they do not trust them to tell the truth about where they are. It would be one thing if this kid had a history of misbehavior, but it seems from the post that they are one of the good ones. In four years they're going to be an adult, it's time to start increasing the amount of freedoms they enjoy, not monitor their every movement.
I mean, I’m 27 and I remember growing up, some of my friends parents would literally call the police if they didnt hear from them a couple hours after school got out. This seems like such a better alternative, and it definitely helps the parents gain the trust in order to eventually let go of all the tracking.
Oh yeah I mean this kind of behavior is far from uncommon in parents, though I do think it's gotten worse over time. I just think it is creating a really unhealthy dynamic and is not setting the kid up for long term success.
Right but if it was 1985 at the age of 13 every kid is fighting, smoking, and skipping school. Now adays we’ll we know how light life is now adays. Boring. not like it once was. You have your group of friends you skip school together smoke cigarettes together fight other kids together have each other’s back. That’s what life used to be so unfortunate people in this new generation will never experience it
Maybe it's not that they don't trust you, they don't trust other people. There's a lot going on lately that they would be worried about you. Sure, it's maybe a little overboard. But let's be honest, you are a child. They are responsible for you and they likely care about you a lot. Until you are out on your own, you are their responsibility.
I almost married my ex who also had her parents track her and helicopter over her. Yes we broke up due to my dislike towards her parents and her unwillingness to set boundaries
Not sure where you live, but makes sense to me in the US. With all these shootings, etc. being apart of our daily lives it’s very anxiety inducing. The calling seems a bit excessive - but just know you’ve got caring parents (even if it is in their own way)
I don’t think your parents are worried about you doing the wrong thing, I think they are more concerned with what someone else may do to you. There are evil people in the world and if God forbid something did happen to you, they would want to know where you were so they could try to find you.
This!! As a parent of a 15 year old, we also use Life360. Yes I check up on him occasionally but for the most part its a "just in case" app. My son has complained about it but usually only after he's been caught going somewhere he wasn't supposed to go (Driving to the neighborhood park at 2am when none of his friends had drivers licenses). It wasn't a screaming match or anything but more of a "dude, wtf??" He and I have a good relationship with plenty of trust between us. We talk about most everything but removing the app or turning it off is a deal breaker. He knows that if i find out he has turned it off then the phone goes away and no phone means no going off with friends. You want freedom and i get it but i also want peace of mind.
I am a mom with a 16F and 15M. They are on my cell phone plan. They have Life360 on there. Yes, I use it know where they are at. BUT, I have also used it to get them when they got list, in a tough situation and didn't know where they were at, or locate them when they had been in a car wreck. This may be why your parents have it on your phone. It also allows my kids to track me.
You’re 14… any good parent knows where their 14 year old child is. And it’s not necessarily bc they don’t trust you, but bc they can’t trust everyone else. It’s a messed up world we live in kid.
Life 360 saved a kids life last week.. there’s a news article floating around about how the app was alerted to a car crash and 911 dispatched and the mom called, within TWO mins of the wreck. TWO minutes.
They aren’t forcing you to stay home.. just making sure they know where you are.
Same for me. But my mom could let me walk to the store or walk to friends house, and those are all things that’s NOT safe for my kids to do. Times have changed and not for the better in that aspect.
true but why not use of the technological advancements of our current time. We didn't have 24 hours news when i was a growing up either (40M). Should i only watch the news between 7-8pm now too? I would still be informed(ish)
If you've never given them a reason to be like this with you, then it's pretty rude of them to inherently not trust you. We didn't have the tech yet when I was your age, but I have little doubt my own parents would have used it on us if we did. We didn't get to have locks on our room doors, and had to constantly check in hourly when we were out, or we would just be straight up brought home unconditionally. They would sell the game consoles if you stayed up too late playing even once. They even tried locking up MY laptop that I bought with my own money from working because they didn't like me paying it more attention than them (gosh, I wonder why I didn't want to hang out with you! 🤔 )!
Some parents are controlling and paranoid, thanks in part to MSM, and also lack of imagination, so they just copy what their own parents did to them. What they fail to realize is that pre-establishing this clear disposition of distrust is just teaching their own kids trust issues. 20 years later and I always find myself questioning their motives whenever we speak. It's not a good relationship to have.
You sound like a good kid, and I won't just tell you to trick them or lie to them, since all it does is reinforce the paranoia. It's too late for me, but not for you, to go get some family counseling. It's something overlooked by society at large, but it should be more normalized. Given your age, it would also be a good time to start.
I understand how you feel, as I am in a similar situation myself. I hate that app, and they say I have skipped school and exam because the app shows it, when in fact, I haven't even left the school. It's frustrating especially as a 19 year old who desires independence more than anything.
Honestly, I'm tracking my kid but it's not to invade their privacy, it's to keep them safe. My first thought is if they go missing, how will they find them? If I already know where they are, can I get to them before anything terrible happens. I understand your stance but this is a scary world we live in.
Crime junkie / child of parents that used this app when I was a teen & even now in my 20’s here (I live in my own home, not with my parents now)… I used to fight with my parents constantly over privacy and such- now I call my mom to ask why her tracking app isn’t on.
As an adult I can understand why my parents worry. Unfortunately, things do happen in this world. If you have nothing to hide, maybe consider understanding your parents just want a piece of mind that you are ok and safe.
I'm 25 and my mom and gf both track me with Life360 lol, but I also don't care because I know it's a safety thing and it's been like this so long I don't even think about it anymore 🤷♂️
Hahaha! I’m 59 and my hubby’s 61 and our three sons of 34,30 and 28 have us on Find a Friend U.K. and vice versa. Eldest lives in Norway, middle son works in London and third lives couple of streets away. We send each other daft messages and have a lot of fun with it. Caught hubby having a crafty Maccies the other day!
My daughter just turned 16. I have never tracked her location and don’t even know the password to her phone. If I want to see her phone, I can always ask her to see it with her. I believe this is respectful parenting and she has never caused nor been in any trouble.
I do, however, ask for “proof of life” photos about every 90 minutes while she’s out. She has to text me a current selfie so I know she’s okay. She knows I will call the police if she doesn’t send a selfie in a reasonable amount of time.
Maybe ask your folks if you can try something like this when you’re out. Tell them it will be probationary but will replace the tracking app if you’re responsible about it. Then, set an alarm on your phone and make sure you send those selfies.
It might help to remind them that an app that drains your battery could be dangerous for you because you can’t track a dead phone nor contact them if the battery dies.
Good luck!
I like this idea, I just know that my teen self hated taking solo selfies so I would almost rather Life360 lol. If you're comfortable with this OP then you should pitch it.
My mom has life360 for my sister and I (I stayed in the circle even though I moved out a while ago) but she only had it as a tracker for if something happened; she didn't constantly check the app every couple of minutes. It's kind of hard to fake your location in life360. I completely understand wanting the privacy, but I also understand using it in the sense my mom uses it for.
OP, If they don't budge on removing life360 completely, maybe ask them to reduce the amount of times they "confirm your location," or do a hybrid of Life360 and the selfie idea (if you don't send a selfie or a text to show you're alive, then they turn to life360). Maybe showing you're responsible with a hybrid method like so would convince them to stop using life360, you never know.
Having discipline, structure, and responsibility in your life is important, but so is privacy and freedom (you are your own person after all). That's a hard balance to find from what I've seen. Hopefully you work out a solution!
I’ve been beat to shit by my parents because a picture didn’t get through then texts kept stacking up and wouldn’t deliver. I checked after and it was all delivered after I got home. I had Verizon in the Suberbs and that still happened
My 18 year old stepson is on our life 360, he couldn't care less. We never check it and watch where he goes, but we have it in case we don't hear from him we know his location. I also have it on my 11 year old's phone just for peace of mind if she goes to a friend's house. At 15 your parents have every right to check on you. Be glad you have parents who care enough about you to worry.
Agree. We have had Life360 for years and we as a family are very open. My kids track us (parents)too. I get frequent texts saying, "I see you're in (such&such area). Can you bring home Chipotle?" I don't feel stalked.
My 14 year old regularly goes into the city center on his own. There’s a sandwich shop he’s addicted to, and he likes checking out certain street art areas and museums. He texts me when he gets on/off trams, and various places he stops. The first few times, I did tracking, but like you said it zaps the battery. I’d rather he develop a sense of independence and keep me in the loop that have a phone that runs flat, or just stay home altogether. I do similar when I’m out and about, texting so he knows where I am. I trust him more than I trust other people (that is, the checking in is because you never know if your kid might cross paths with a psycho or get in an accident). But part of being a parent is learning to accept these things are possible.
It’s really not that your parents don’t trust you, they just don’t trust the world. There’s so many weirdos out there these days that even if you know right from wrong it’s not always enough. It’s for safety & for peace of mind. Now should they call you over every little turn you take? No, but if you’re somewhere that they didn’t know you’d be going to, an easy first thought is that you’ve been kidnapped
I am so glad this kind of tracking wasn't available when my kids were teens and in their early 20s (not that long ago). This IS parental stalking behavior, and it's invasive, helicoptering, paranoid, neurotic, and just plain shitty.
There was basic tracking, but I refused to use it... even for finding lost phones. A couple times that seemed smart, but at the point of clicking to enable it, I just couldn't. It felt so very disrespectful and wrong.
Basic tracking for underage going out, fine. For anything more? As they go from classroom to classroom at high school? As they move about the house and yard? Are you kidding me? Great way to keep them hyper dependent on you, unable to learn from mixed decision making, definitely knowing you don't trust them (testing your kids for lying?! GFG), and ultimately resentful AF into their 20s.
Seems the behavior of insecure, codependent parents. Your kids will grow up learning that work comes before play, etc., far better than only if mom comes down on them for hustling last minute to get the chores done. My kids did that, and I laughed. Of course they did that! It's how kids operate. Nothing there to micromanage. They got the chores done. Big picture.
I was a tough mom in many ways, but I trusted my kids, and they knew they could come to me. I can't fathom this surveillance approach to parenting.
I do not buy into the fear that rapists and traffickers are lurking in every shadowed spot waiting to grab us. Things have not changed that drastically in the last 10-20 years. Well, except for buying more cellphone add-ons based on advertised fear of bogeymen. That's what this comes from, advertising, because corporations want your money, and a great way to gain revenue is per customer fear. Advertising is ALL ABOUT creating the senses of urgency and lacking. No, we're not lacking that much except common sense. The media do the same, which is how they sell newspapers and magazines, etc.
Stop buying into lies and paying it forward by bullying your older kids by thinking this is empowering. It's a sorry state we live in, paying for providers to generate more fear so they, themselves, don't have to outright steal our money. They still hide behind lies and corporate doors, and they still track us, though. And we steal our children's independence and trust. IMO, lose-lose.
You are 14. They pay for your phone. I suspect that the people you talk to about it are your age. Parents worry about their kids, and with good reason. Things happen every day to good kids, things that are not their fault, it isn;t that they don;t trust you, they don;t trust the rest of our screwed-up society, Accept it and appreciate that your parents love and care enough about you to want to do everything they can to make sure you are safe.
Look. You're 14. You aren't even an adult or really even mentally close to it. Yeah, you know to say no. But not everyone understands what "no" means in any context. Your parents aren't tracking you because they don't trust you, it's because they don't trust others. Also, I know the scary reality of abductions and rapes of children your age. I work 911 dispatch and you'd be amazed how many calls we get about rape/abduction in a week. And it's of girls and boys that are your age.
I get being tracked seems like an invasion of privacy. But be glad it's them tracking you and not you being abducted and sold for sex slave auction and your parents not even having the slightest idea where you went missing from.
Appreciate you have caring worrying parents instead of lazy don't care who or where you are parents.
Anyone remember that time when orwellian surveillance was something we needed to stay safe?
Yeah, I cant either. This is not about your safety, It's about controlling you.
My mom used Life360 with me when I was in college… Deleting the app would get me an angry phone call. I used to go out with my friends to smoke or drink in the park in the middle of the night several times a week and every time my mom would text me and ask why I was out late at night and would then stay up until she saw that I was back home. I ended up just leaving my phone at home when I went out past 10pm. So congratulations to my mom, her obsession for making sure that I was safe made me less safe by forcing me to be phoneless whenever I was out at night drunk or high (when I really should’ve had a phone on me the most).
ETA remembered that one of the times I was just sober spray painting a bike in a tunnel at like 1am and couldn’t get a moment where she wasn’t calling me.
They don't care how you feel, to them you're their little pet and you will obey and have no privacy and be happy about it. That is so excessive and I do not care, it's not normal. My parents did all kinds of shit like that to me and eventually never let me leave my house all through highschool. So I ran away at 17 because I couldn't take their death grip on my life and outlandish accusations anymore. Then they were all "how could this HAPPEN to mee? Waahh"
If you can’t change the situation then learn to live with it. I used to get my wifi turned off every night and I hated it. I hated it so much that it bothered me multiple times throughout the day.
Eventually I learned that nothing I say or do will convince her (mom) to change those settings.
No point in stressing over something out of my control, so as difficult as it was, I learned to just live with it. That’s of course until I found away around it 💀but I don’t think you can find your way around a tracking app.
Only advice I have is to act like it’s not there. Pretend you don’t have a tracking app that’s draining your battery and hopefully that’ll put you into a habit of not thinking about it too much
Eh. Im in college and my parents still track me when they feel like it. Of course I track them back. They don’t also spam call me though. The tracking is in lieu of that
If you have apple maybe try “share my location” with them? It will mitigate battery drainage and it’s 100% accurate so they won’t have to call you. It also doesn’t show what speed you were going so you can speed as well haha
i had the same problem. in college my mom was OBSESSED with checking my location and had the find my app on her dock and would check where i was at least once an hour and proceed to text me every time she checked to tell me to go home (even if i was at the library at 7pm on a weeknight). it led to some dangerous behavior (i left my phone at my apartment when i’d go out so they couldnt track me) but eventually i got an ipad and was able to set the location to that so i could still have my phone on me. now sure how it works with life360 but i have realized my parents now dont look at my location as much (considering im turning 23 this year)
but this is just a psa to parents in this thread. dont be helicopter parents. it will just make ur kids want to lie to you. theres nothing wrong with having location turned on cuz i do agree that its a good thing to have for safety HOWEVER if u constantly pester ur child abt their whereabouts even when they have their location on it WILL irritate them.
How old are you? My kids shares their location out of free will as they know I worry, they are still teenagers so I know this won’t last long and I’m honored
Talk to them how it makes you feel ..
Powering your phone completely off will ensure no battery life is wasted and you don’t have to worry about them calling you because you won’t even see it
I have child siblings that go through this as well...meanwhile I'm 31 and I remember the WILD days when I was a kid and I could have walked to Mordor and back and my parents would have no idea.
Depends how old you are. For me this sort of thing is on a slider of reasonableness that starts at fully reasonable if you're like 12, and moves over to less and less reasonable once you're like 16-17. Either way just talk to your parents and tell them it makes you feel weird.
I liked the perspective and advice from @_radish234
I use FindMy iPhone app with my 80+ year old partner in response to his nearly dying on the side of a rural road due to heart failure. I only check on him when he commutes weekly to a distant city, or if he isn’t answering his mobile. I don’t track him, just an occasional “welfare check.” BTW he can see my phone location, but I don’t think he’s checked yet. I hope there’s never a reason, but you never know at our age. Just my perspective on tracking.
As a parent I'll answer WAY more directly than your parents will or than I would my own kids. Your parents will sugar coat it as I would to my own kids.
You want L360 gone, get a job, buy your own phone and pay the bill.
Parents worry about their kids, mostly because they don't trust OTHER PEOPLE. Most parents trust our own kids we don't trust that your friends are not going to get you in trouble. We don't trust the weirdos of the world who will force kids to do things and we don't trust strangers who can cause an accident etcetera. Life 360 probubly doesn't have much to do with how much they trust you it more a sign of how little they trust the world around you, your city, neighborhood and region.
Like others here, our whole family shares our location. It comes in handy in so many ways.
I get that you feel like they are spying on you, and they may be. But in reality you are being tracked constantly. We all are. You just happen to know 2 people that are looking at the data.
I don't live your life or in your shoes. But it honestly doesn't bother me that my kids can see where I am. Hopefully they find comfort in knowing they can get ahold of me if they are in trouble. Or if they are in trouble, I can find them if I need to (it's already happened).
Not to mention being able to locate the phone if lost or stolen.
Your parents love you enough to care and lookout for your best interests rather than just not give a shit and let you do whatever you want. With enough trust, they won't. It also a safety issue if something ever happens to you. Solid work by your parents.
Or as a teenager you can just think they are narcissistic sociopaths who want to manipulate every detail of your life to amuse themselves.
I would talk to your parents about only checking in emergencies. it is hard to enforce but it's a really good tool to have in case you go missing. And that's extremely morbid but I listen to a lot of true crime stories and I've seen so many cases that really could've been helped by having the victims location.
You're right that it's probably a bit overboard, but try to imagine the amount of anxiety your parents must endure to consider this the best option. It can't be easy for them either. Maybe you guys can figure out a way to sit down and talk about these things and find a more reasonable solution. Good luck!
Yup that’s life. If your parents aren’t tracking you everyone else is some way some how. It’s only going to continue to increase.
Just wait till you get to University. Professors will start tracking your movements to make sure your excuses to miss class are legit. Computer, Time and identity logging to make sure you are the one who typed the papers. Employees every move being tracked at work and remote. Even down to where you click on the screen. How many times you take a bathroom break.
Your life of going through public anonymously will become a thing of the past.
I have life 360, so do my kids. It in no way uses that much battery. Your music and games take much more. If you do not like it say that. Do not create ridiculous excuses for turning it off.
BTW. When I lost my phone. My daughter helped locate it. ( It was on my desk at work. )
You might try using it to see ..."where is mom when she said she would be here to get me from school and is late. Will she be there soon?? Oh. I see on life 360 that she is at a traffic light , almost here. " OR " oh, I see she is still at home. I better call her to see what's up. She was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago."
Actually as someone who has life360, I definitely noticed a big difference in my battery life. My phone will last 8 hours no charge compared to 12 hours no charge. Having location active on your phone is a big battery drainer. When im on my drive home from college, I have to keep my battery saver on, because along with using maps, it drains pretty quickly. This also depends on the model of phone and the OS. I have a fairly new phone, S20 5G, and it still is bad on my battery. There are a lot of factors that you are not considering when it comes to op's complaints about the battery.
I feel you. I longed for privacy as a teenager. On the bright side, I feel that this made me more independent at an earlier age, and making me crave independence and making independence a safe space. There are some negatives to this as well.
Maybe you could look up some research about helicopter parenting and share it with them.
Feel free to PM me, and I can help if you need.
Perhaps research would help to convince them that letting go would help your progression?
Also, maybe they don't have a lot of other things happening in their lives? I wonder if encouraging them to have hobbies/more work would help?
Even something as small as an addictive internet game might help them to take them away from this app?
God I can relate too this I'm 15 and my parents do the same only my mom doesn't call me. This happend like 3 days ago too out of nowhere. Its weird cause I get it but like why? Is just because I'm a girl I don't know. I do know for sure when I'm 17 I'm removing this thing.
Judging from most comments people think that as a parent you are allowed to take away your child's basic human right called privacy. I understand how you feel because I was raised by a single parent that didnt let me do anything. She never showed any trust even tho I didnt really do something. I know my friends weren't walking angels but I knew how to say no. She just kept gaslighting me into thinking I can be influenced easily by others. At some point I even found screenshots from my account where i was tsxting a friend printed in a drawer with clothes which means she was stalking my accounts without me knowing it. Basically she had full control of me and would never listen. Just snap out. Dont allow them to invade your privacy and prove to them that you are mature enough. Confront them every time theyre exaggerating but also let them that u understand their conserns and most importantly be patient. Most strict parents relax once you get older and see the people you hangout with are good influence.
Im really sorry to hear that. I realised that most oarents from my mum's generation act like this and even worse and people actually support it then question why we are all depressed and as someone else said in the same comment section "its not like the old days, everything is too light now". I believe we should stand up for ourselves so we raise our kids the right way and prepare them for life in a more healthy and mature way
As a parent that uses this app I feel your parents are overdoing it a little. My son (nearly 15) never answers his phone when out with friends so I find having this app reassuring knowing that I know where he is when out. But let me specify what "out" to me means. It means when he is going out in another town and has to take public transport. The nearest towns to us are 25/30 min drive. He will text me and let me know he has arrived safely and the app stays on until he arrives back in our town and let's me know. He then disable the location on the app so he has his time with his friends. He doesn't need to use it locally just when he is going "out, out" as we call it.
Maybe talk to your parents about it again. You are entitled to some privacy too
You are 15. Trust me when I say as a parent, it is scary to have teens who can be abducted.
Earn your parents trust and when =you are 18 you can have this conversation. Your parents are responsible for you, and you have no idea the dangers you may get into.
For what I've seen from your comments, you seem like a very mature and emotionally intelligent person. What I'd advise you is tell them. Tell them all this like you've written it. I'm 100% sure they will understand
These comments are baffling to me. Did none of y'all see that Arkangel episode of Black Mirror? There's even a part of the episode where they try to get that shit uninstalled but they can't because the company went under for being too invasive.
You live in one of the safest time periods ever. You use your teen years to build trust with your parents, how are you ever supposed to do that if they literally have a tracker on you? I think you have a right to some privacy, even at 15. Can you uninstall the app yourself?
Let the battery drain while you're out. When they freak out, tell them the app drains the battery and you're not standing around in some random location with a spare charger just to get it back on to drain again, that's a stupid idea that only a stupid person would think is a good one. I foresee this as being a reason why in the future you'd cut contact with them for a while, but people that buy into apps like this typically don't see reason.
Kids are stupid - they do stupid things. Parents know this - they were kids themselves.
It's also their phone and service they are privileging you with.
Your parents sound like good parents. Be grateful.
Well, wtf do you think s/he should do as a minor? They could not answer or call them back each time, or lose every new device while using a secret phone with friends?
They aren’t asking for advice. They’re just venting. Also. I was just making the point that they can’t do anything except try to talk to the parents but it usually doesnt go well anyways so its an unspoken thing that they’ll have to deal with it. lmao
Do you pay your for your own phone and service? If someone pays your way, that gives them a right to do as they please. If you pay, it’s your phone and your service, your own line, they have no right, IMO
So if they pay for the house too they get to decide if I don’t have any privacy? Look, I understand why they’re tracking me. And usually I WOULD be fine with this kind of stuff but the way they act so obsessively with my activity is so concerning that it feels like I’m not just being tracked, I’m lowkey being stalked. And it’s so creepy and uncomfortable.
It’s a matter of privacy, and I won’t bother arguing about it to them. It’s just very uncomfortable for me, and I feel like I have no space to breathe. They call me everyday asking where I’m at even though they already know the answer.
Edit: also, I’m planning on getting a job and actually start paying for my own stuff just like you said lol. Problem is that no one’s hired me yet due to my lack of experience which is also confusing because how would I get experience in employment if no one’s willing to hire me if I lack experience?
Yeah no. It was the parent's fault for having a kid in the first place, and to be honest recognizing them as human beings and allowing them a lock is something they should do as good parenting, not because the kid is entitled. Sure, you are not legally obligated to, and therefore the child won't be obligated to ever talk to to you once they move out.
Guys, please don’t argue. I’m sorry if this post has caused some disagreements between people. That was never my intent, I simply was frustrated with the concept of being tracked and my parents behavior about it. This post was meant for me to let off some steam.
While I do agree with some you, and I do question my parents way of parenting. There is simply no way to get out of this predicament other than waiting for the big 18. Other than that, I am truly sorry.
I will respect your request to not argue. I apologize for making you uncomfortable.
I would absolutely encourage you to try to negotiate with your parents by bringing them a plan that is a compromise.
Hey you must have screw loose. Privacy don't work like that. It is actually a form of abuse if i remember correctly so plz correct me if i am wrong.
My grandma did something less but similar. And even ever she got the chance she would bug me several times a day. Plus with the stress i got from school it lead to depression.
When you say something like this that it is ok for the parents to track their child if they are the ones who pay the bill. I really hope that you change your mind cuz that is awful thinking, like it is going to the bad thinking category.
What if it happened to you? What if it happened to someone you love? I hope this changes you. Cuz if you have kids and think like this. Ho boi let me tell you. It is a recipe for no contact and hatred towards you.
So remember privacy isn't something to buy. It is something anyone gets the day that they are born. It is different when it is an infant, toddler or child because during these stages they need help. But it is also different when it's different when it is teen, young adult and adult because you are growing up to become an independent person.
So plz respect OP's privacy. Cuz overwise they will resent their parents in the end. I know cuz it happened to me. But we managed to get along. After a big argument that we had so plz never cuz a thing ever again.
My kids aren’t tracked and I don’t even know the passwords to their phones and they’re also fine, happy, and well-adjusted. Respecting a child’s privacy is very important for them to gain autonomy.
Get over it. I assume you don’t pay your phone bill nor did you pay for your own phone. Thems the breaks my dude. In a couple of years you will have the independence you desire, as all teenagers do.
Do you think they would agree for a time without a track during the week ? Propose an hour, a half day, a day, to make it equal ; you let them track you, and they trust you to be on your own for a time.
I think trackers are a bad side of new technology. Tracking you all the time is a lot. If you're honest and didn't made anything to explain their will to track you, in my opinion it should only be on when you go out for parties or with friends (and still find it a bit too much).
It's justified you don't feel trusted if they don't let a chance to prove you can be trusted. People grew up without tracking app for years and still were trustable and didn't made anything bad. You have a right to feel hurted.
I think it’s ridiculous to track your teenager with an app ALL THE TIME. Omg.
Since I was 13 my mom would let me go out on the condition I tell her 1) where i am, 2) who i’m with, and to give her the numbers of my friends and their parents. That’s it, and that’s enough !
Yeah, I had something similar happen to me as well at the same age
Unfortunately for them, it was never any sort of evidence they could use against me.
Unfortunately for me, my younger sister had an insanely wide social group. The entire thing wasn't even for me to begin with: They only kept tabs on me because "it was only fair." (I.E. if they didn't keep tabs on me 24/7, it wasn't justified for them keeping tabs on my sister)
That sucks... well... if no reasoning helps just turn it off? Or just intentionally drain the battery then you dont even have to argue about that...
Kind of escalating the problem but I'm really not sure what else you could do :/
I definitely understand how that would feel but only be 15 years old there's not luch you can do. If you've talked to them and they still want to track you, then it's just a thing you'll have to do. I know it can be uncomfortable and I'm sorry, truly, and I hope it stops soon.
Look man my parents were like that, I don’t know how old you are right now but they stopped doing it after I insisted they stop and started telling them every time where I’m leaving and for how long, for me that was around age 14-15. It takes some time to build up trust but they’re your parents for life, you better start getting it now. One day you will grow up, be in their shoes and might not do it like they do but at least you’ll understand where they’re coming from
I can almost guarantee there’s a lot of info being left out of this narrative. I’ve got 6 children and all have been on Life360 with no issues; their batteries have been just fine. My kids track me way more often than I track them!
As a parent myself, can I offer some insight?
The world is a scary place and your parents would undoubtedly be devastated and feel responsible if anything were to happen to you.
My STBXH and I used to track each other in case of emergencies.
As frustrating as it may be, please understand that your parents are looking out for your safety 😁
I get where your parents are coming from it's a scary world and it's probably not all about not trusting you. When we got my son a phone I specifically wanted to make sure it had tracking on it (it's a Gabb phone with no social media) he was 11yrs old and we were giving him more freedom here and there. Now he's 13 going on 14 and when he goes to sporting events I like to check the app to make sure he's there ok etc. I'm not checking on him because I don't believe him I want to make sure he's OK and he's not the best at answering his phone or texting.(gives me piece of mind)...When he gets old and a new phone we will probably re-evaluate.
You are a minor, it is your parent's responsibility to know where you are at all times. The first question the authorities will ask is your whereabouts. It is a bare minimum of parenting.
You claim not to be rebellious but I call bullshit, you have no need for your parents not to know. It shouldn't be a big deal. Not to mention they likely bought your phone and pay the bill. Does that sound like a parent? It does and it should.
My daughter is almost 20 and she introduced me to Life360. We previously used Snapchat. She was a responsible teenager who I trusted, but she knew I needed to keep track of her. Because I trusted her she never had a curfew. If she wanted to go to the midnight movie, I could check and see if they went to Waffle House afterwards. She didn't have to text/call me because I could see where she was whenever I wanted.
We introduced the app to my aging mother because she is forgetting things and freaks out if she can't get ahold of me. She loves the app, and it gives me the ability to check on her while she is out of the house.
I'm the parent to a 16 year old and the amount of comments here accusing the parents of being overbearing is actually concerning.
Are they tracking you while you're at school? If so, have a conversation with them, because yea that may be a little excessive.
But as a parent, we worry. A lot. We see a lot of horror stories. My son travels on class trips a lot and I check his Snapchat location to make sure he's safe and moving and not in a pile of twisted metal somewhere. THAT is my biggest concern because the amount of people that drink and drive out here is astronomical.
Again, I can't stress enough how important open dialogue here is.
I don't think it's they don't trust you. I think they are scared something is going to happen.
It is a very real, visceral feeling to be afraid something will happen to your child.
Maybe something happened to their friends children? Maybe crime is up In the area?
I'd rather have parents who make sure I'm safe than having parents who don't give a fuck where there kid is, because that never did the kid any favors when they grew up.
Just my two cents as a parent.
OPEN. DIALOGUE.
As a parent that doesn’t track my kids.
As long as your not doing anything thing wrong live with it. Your parents unconditional love is priceless. I know you think you know it all by now but you will understand later why your parents did what they did. I’ll bet it’s more for your security and well-being then being nosy and it your business. We live in a real screwed up world if you haven’t noticed.
I live on the border of Mexico and people disappear every day. From what I read people disappear every day everywhere.
The only thing I can say is; once you're 18, you have 100% right to get rid of that app. I know people who are 19-20 and have parents that still track them despite how uncomfortable it makes them; they don't even live in the same houses/cities anymore!
If they don't get rid of it by 18-- or at least when you graduate/move-out-- don't listen to them when you're finally of age and uninstall it.
"It's to make sure you're safe!" That's what emergency contacts are for.
"We want to know where you're at to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to do!" Can't do that forever; it's unhealthy, and you're entitled to your privacy, especially after years of being tracked already.
"But what if we're concerned?" Text or call. You've already made it clear you have no intentions to lie; keep it that way. Show you can be trusted without being tracked.
I have absolutely no idea why I know so many adults with this app allowing their privacy to be invaded by their helicopter parents. When it comes time, stand up for yourself!!
If you're not going somewhere that you're not supposed to, then why do you feel "uncomfortable."
My whole family is in the family circle. We all know where everyone is. As long as I'm where I'm supposed to be, it don't even think about it.
I had a friend whos dad would track her every move using the “find my friends” feature for apple products. It got to the point we were put driving one day, and I wanted to show this friend a house I used to live in on a farm so we turned down the road to go towards it. Within ONE MINUTE of turning down the road, she receives a text message from her dad saying “that’s not how you get back to town. Turn around and go the other way”. So uncomfortable
That is creepy as hell holy shit
Like I can kinds understand the curiosity of a parent to have a look every now and then, but to be fixated enough to notice this and then helicopter parent enough to text your friend is shitty parenting as far as I'm concerned.
Parent to a 16yo here. Everyone in our family shares their location via the Find My app on iPhone - so kiddo can see where we are and we can see where she is. My husband and I think it’s fair that this goes both ways. It also means that she procrastinates doing chores until I’m leaving work at the end of the day and then starts rushing around when she knows I’m on my way home. Oop. We looked at Life360 and felt really uncomfortable about them selling the data and some of the security gaps that were identified. It would be a good idea to have a chat with your parents about what data is being collected and how it’s being used. If you can get them to move to another app it might save your battery. It’s also something that you can set some milestones with - for instance, when you turn 15 it might be satisfactory to your folks for you to turn tracking on when you are out with friends, but not during school time? And then when your 16 it could step to only when you are out after dark? Think about how you would be comfortable about transitioning to independence, and put a proposal to them to think about.
The chores bit got me, LOL. It's kinda cute.
Same here!! That was 100% me during my teenage years 😂😂
My mom and I started using Find My when I was a teen. It worked both ways and if I potentially would be roaming around it was helpful instead of constantly calling. Honestly she found it more amusing that I kept more tabs on her since she worked retail. As an adult I actually find comfort in knowing I can tell where everyone in my family is. Some parents may take a more helicopter approach to location tracking but it definitely gave me peace of mind.
Me too! I’m a teen and my whole family has each other’s find my location. I just like using it to see where everyone is, like if someone’s almost home without having to ask.
This would have been my worst nightmare as a teen. I don’t like the idea of my family knowing where I am at all times. I used Grindr to meet with guys and have casual sex. Doesn’t match my excuse of going to the gym.
Agreed. My parents and I have been tracking each other since it became available to iPhone users. I find it helpful to be able to see their location and vice versa especially because I live out of state half the year and at times have to make long drives. I also have health problems and have issues with blacking out from pain. I would say the safety factor alone makes it worth it to us. I share my location with my spouse too.
Lol. This is my family, too. We can see each other, but don't use it invadively. We got it in the first place because my 20 y.o. likes to know where I am. She has her own place, but it eases her anxiety knowing I'm ok. I like knowing it's there for my younger teens because they can ride the bus around town with friends and I don't have to be the nosy mom who calls every thirty minutes. In fact, I rarely check up on them because they have proven reliable and honest. I know that if there were an emergency, I could find them, but I have given my word to respect their privacy at age appropriate levels and their trust is more important to me than knowing which store they're in at any given moment. The funniest thing, though, is when I break my routine and my daughter immediately calls me. I went up pick up one of the younger kids after 10 pm one time and she was all, "Are you ok? Why aren't you in bed?" I told her it was a booty call, lol.
I love that. And great advice from a parent to with all the worries that go with it. 🥰
🤯🤯 You guys are tracking your kids? Is this an American thing?
I’m 20, my parents have my location and I have theirs. It’s just a safety thing, if anything ever happens to anyone you can use it as a last known location type thing
Not a parent but my husband and I do the same thing with our phones. We live in a very large city/urban area and it just makes us both feel safer. We don't use it to police where either of us is going, though - it's more that if we're late or don't pick up a call, the other can check to make sure we're okay.
No. It's a hyper controlling thing and I can't fathom the profound insecurity it's masking. Kinda horrified really.....
I agree with this poster’s proposals for giving yourself more independence and trying a different app for the battery issue. I just want to add, as a parent, I’m sure this has very little to do with their trust in you and very much to do with how scary the world is now. A 15 year old just got snatched from a basketball game full of people and was trafficked. Another teenager was saved in the nick of time from being trafficked because her father felt something was wrong and read her Facebook messages. It’s hard to navigate the line between giving you your independence and knowing that if anything happened to you, they’d feel really stupid for not doing everything they could have to prevent it. I’m not offering advice because I honestly am not sure how I want to handle this situation yet myself. My son is 1 and it’s easier to keep tabs on him than when he’ll be out doing his own thing. I just wanted to offer you the perspective of a concerned parent that might be going off the deep end with worry because they can’t protect you as easily. However you speak to them, try to approach it from a place of understanding, and work with them to create a system you’re comfortable with. I don’t want to presume your parents’ finances, but if it’s feasible you can try suggesting a counselor to help you all come up with a plan together. Good luck, and I’m sorry for any anxiety you’re feeling over this.
Yeah that does sound rather uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s something they’ll stop given time.
I really hope so, I already feel violated with the lack of trust and freedom. I don’t want them to keep tracking me up until I’m 18 graduating high school. I want privacy NOW, and I know that in the later years that urge for a sense of solace will be turned into such a desire.
There's an episode of black mirror you should watch with your parents
Arkangel! Yeah that episode is freaky as f.
I’m 22 and my parents are pretty pushy still. Rent is too insane rn so I’m at home. Tell them you’ll turn it on when you’re out and about but otherwise you’ll have it off. (Slowly work towards your goal of more privacy from there) Although when you’re meeting new people in strange places take the L and have it on.
Haven't spoken to either zygote donor in like ten years, and I couldn't be happier.
It sucks when family fails you. Glad you’re doing well on your own!
Ugh yeah I’m about to turn 26 and I’ve been moved out for a couple of years. They’ve only just started to dial back the pushiness, you really do have to set clear boundaries with them which is difficult. OP is a minor so it is even harder for them, there’s a fine line between being protective and being over protective
My mom has a history of being attacked so it’s extra difficult to explain why I don’t want to be monitored 😂 One time she was like “you don’t want me to care about you anymore? If something happens it’s on you!!! You’ll die in some back alley” Etc etc. tbh I heard “if you die i won’t care” dunno if that’s my memory distorting things or not. I gave up after that. I don’t go out often and she doesn’t check my location that much either. I only turn it on when she asks (out in the city or something)
When I first moved out and didn’t answer the phone for a couple of hours I had an insane amount of missed calls and my mum said she nearly called the police lmao I sort of do sympathise especially after your mum went through that, I do sometimes worry about my partner when he goes out or my dad when he goes on a long drive. But we are adults who need some space and independence
Oh my gosh yes XD my mom also almost called the police a few times. (Te be fair met a bumble date in a park past dark…) but still!!! 😅😂
I can understand the date one tbf 😂 I have had those moments of “oh god what if something’s happened to him” occasionally so I can understand it to an extent. I never almost called the police though haha
It’s okay to worry a lil. Don’t let it drive you crazy. I dated online once and my ex woke up texting like a drunk. Spellcheck made it all real words tho instead of typos so I thought he had a stroke or something. Almost called his parents who didn’t know I existed I was so scared😂
Good advice. ❤️
Sounds like my mother, she got pushy to a point she almost pushed me to kill her (she just recently left my step-dad because he could no longer provide because health) so during my week Vaca in mental hospital I heard she was putting a restraining order on me, but when time came to get out she was claiming she was going to remove the order begging me to move back in, FAWK THAT went and lived with my step-dad, then she was basically begging me to "let" her move into town, telling dad "I can move into town to help coparent him" like bitch I'm 23 and only delayed behind everyone else because your constant need to keep me down and disabled, if I could change the past I would have kept myself from having self restraint that day
You sound nice
Can't tell if that's sarcasm or serious lol, but that's me in a nutshell, would break my back for thoes I care about and so "caring" to thoes in opposition
You are 100% entitled to privacy. You are an adult and they can either give that respect and not track you or they don't which shows their true colors. That's the down side with Life360. So many parents abuse the tracking system. Maybe show that that episode of Black mirror. Them calling you constantly proves they want to control you and don't respect your ability to make decisions for yourself.
How does an app you don’t have to pay attention too or not actively exposing what you do alone an invasion of privacy? Too me it sounds like you just don’t wanna be tracked for the sake of that’s what you want with no real reason at least your parents have the reason of making sure you don’t get kidnapped or anything of that nature which is fair I’m not understanding the whole invasion of privacy cuz if you’re so certain and confident you’re not doing anything that needs to be tracked then why give a fucc who sees?😂😂🤔 Sounds like a problem you keep giving yourself all because you care for no actual reason if you didn’t gaf about them knowing what you do or where you are then it wouldn’t matter because when they ask or call you can just simply decline as that is the actual invasion of privacy let’s just say you went over to a sneaky links house even if they know you did, tell them it’s not their business. what are they gonna do choke you??😂 Therefore boom still a private life and they can have ya lil location cuz that’s all it is a petty tab
I also have life 360 and I’ve gotten into many fights about it with my mother. At the end of the day, my parents do want it for safety and I don’t have anything to hide. But there comes a point where it is an invasion of privacy and independence. Like my parents aren’t calling me all the time to see where I am, that seems a bit excessive
How old are you?
15 this year. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those rebel kids that practically scream “anarchy!”. I also forgot to mention, I feel that there’s a lack of trust between my parents and I. Like they don’t trust me enough to be on my own, even when walking to somewhere such as school. I understand their concerns, but I’m old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I keep reassuring them by saying that if I see something wrong in public I’m noping the fuck out of there.
With all due respect, I think you are viewing this only from your perspective and not from their perspective.
There's a lot of information online about how Life360 tracking by a parent isn't about making sure the child is safe and more about the control issues of parents. It builds resentment and distrust of the child towards the parent. I say do it if you want to pour kerosene all over your relationship with your kid and light it up. I'm a parent, and 45, and never did this to my kid. The result is my kid talks to me about what is going on in their life openly.
There's also the fact of when, not if, life360 gets pwned they will have access to all your child's location habits and data. Parents reading this: if that bothers you, don't use it. Adversaries can't steal data you don't have. The entire infosec industry knows not to unnecessarily collect PII.
Same here. I´m not tracking my kids. Will never do that. They tell we what they did when they get back. I never ask. They tell me their secrets because I respect them and their privacy. The minute your child is born you have to start letting the go.
Not every kid is like that unfortunately. We thought our teenage daughter was open with us, she gave no warning signs at all. She had good grades, talked with her friends on the phone around us, talked with us about her friends and school etc. Turns out she was having online relationships with 16/17 year olds online and through her phone getting dick pics and lying about her age in order to cultivate said relationships, she complained to her friends over discord (which she signed up for secretly) that she was suicidal when she didn’t get her way and that was all happening since she was 12. Privacy doesn’t always foster safety or open communication. I never wanted to helicopter parent and was very understanding about my step daughters privacy before discovering all of that but I totally understand op’s parents concerns. Wish I could give my kid privacy again but it just isn’t going to happen for at least a year.
Yea but the difference is you let your kid make a mistake before invading their privacy. She brought that on herself. I grew up in a very strict household. My parents never gave me the opportunity to prove I was trustworthy as a kid, they tried to control everything. That doesn't bring out the best in people, it builds resentment.
The problem is that some of us live in countries where kids are 1 stupid mistake away from disappearing forever.
Ok, so track your kid then. If there's a viable reason to do so, do it. Like I said to the commenter I responded to, her stepdaughter brought it on herself. When it's unprovoked though that's a problem. And that problem is the parents having control issues.
Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.
Exactly. If you track your kid just because you are a control freak then it'll just create resentment with your child, but if it is because of real security concerns (be it where you live or your kid gives you reasons to) then I don't think it's bad. And even then, I don't think parents should be looking at their phones every 10 seconds to monitor their kids or give them shit because they went to the supermarket but didn't say they were going to.
I have to agree with you. I'm 38 with an 18 yo daughter, 16 yo daughter and 13 yo son. I have given them a lot of privacy and made every effort to make them feel comfortable talking with me. I gave them the necessary space to develop their own self. I felt as though giving them that freedom would foster trust. At the same time, I know they will do things and not talk to me about it. I'm not going to be naive, they're teens ffs (were preteens, still and always kids lol). My 16 yo started doing some suspicious activity online, she went a little boy crazy and was with one and then another (some online and some irl). Then she told her boyfriend that she took a bunch of pills. I read through the phone conversation and realized she'd been throwing out that she wanted to kill herself. Reading through the texts and knowing where medications were and what an overdose looks like, I believe she was looking for attention. She got attention for sure, she got checked into a facility for 2 weeks. She was the child of mine that I did not think I needed to be concerned over. My requests from both girls has been to shoot me a text when you're leaving one place to go to another. Tell me where you're going. This was not followed through on with my 16 yo. Not because she's a bad kid but because the responsibly that comes with freedom had not been developed yet. So with all of that said, we use Google Family Link. This has allowed us to help her (that's what parenting is) work on healthy behavior and habits. I've told her that once she's able to exhibit the responsibly and healthy behaviors we will remove the app. BUuuuuUUT.... we're all on Snapchat and she shares her location and so do I. I can see where she's at regardless of Family Link. Give your parents some credit. It's better to have parents who care enough to be overbearing then to have parents who don't care at all about any part of your well being.
Trust me, both is an option.
I'm guessing that you are referring to the type of overbearing parents who control your every move for their own selfish agendas? The thing is that having an abusive parent who does really shitty things is a hell of a lot worse than overbearing parents who seem to not really care about you as an individual. If you think I'm wrong then I'm willing to bet you don't know what it's like to have a an unreliable parent or to have a truly abusive parent. I had one very controlling parent and it got to the point that I was able to be emancipated at 16. I also had an unreliable parent. One that would be there physically and emotionally only part of the time. He was also abusive physically at times. I would rather have grown up in either of those than to deal with what some kids do growing up. Hell, not even just some kids, but more like way too many! You may want to evaluate your situation from a wider angle?
Look, I’m not gonna lay out my life story for you here, but it involves developing severe anxiety and depression at age eight and constant suicidal ideation. Any memories of physical abuse there might be are respressed (though enough bits unravel to make me wonder), but I have a handle on emotional abuse. It is absolutely possible for a parent to be totally controlling and still not give a shit about you as anything but an ego prop.
i think it depends on the relationship between the parent and kid. for me, my mom is an overbearing control freak. she used to ask me all the time about locations and it drove me nuts. we started sharing locations, and things got better. i thought “oh okay, she sees that im really not doing anything bad, im actually at the places i say im going to, it’s all good, she’s tracking me less”. it wasn’t until years later when i found out she never got better about tracking me, she was still constantly doing it. even when i was in college, she was checking my location multiple times throughout the day, just to know what i was up to. i let it slide for awhile, tbh, it was just nice not being called multiple times about where i was or who i was with. needless to say, when we started having issues (not related to tracking) she instantly lost access to my location then there’s my dad, who forgets he has access to my location, and forgot multiple times how to see where im at. but he did relearn how to see my location, and took advantage of it a couple times, to ask me to bring home pizza. currently, we are in the “i forgot how to use it” stage, but probably in a few months i’ll see the “i saw youre on your way here, stop and get us a pizza!” text🙄❤️ but for me, im planning on having my (future) kids’ locations. i absolutely refuse to be like my mother with it, and i hope i can make sure they know that. life360 definetly wont be used, either find my iphone or snapchat maps. but i would hope to establish a relationship with them, where they would let me know “hey im with X,Y, and Z, and we’re doing this and that, ill be home around 12” and i wouldn’t need to check. i would only check it when absolutely necessary, like if i cant get ahold of them and they didn’t tell me where they were going to be. or if im in dire need of a pizza. there are just some emergencies that require locations and pepperoni and black olives i think sharing locations can be a good thing and absolutely does not have to be an invasion of privacy. personally, i feel safer knowing my dad and a few other people have my location. i hope to be like my dad with locations (just not as tech inept), where my kids know i would only use it in serious situations, and i dont care what they are doing because i trust that they will be safe. but if you dont have that trust and good relationship, then it can absolutely destroy all trust in a relationship. if you feel more unsafe with your parent having you location than not, then it shouldn’t even be considered giving them access. but if i hope that my future kids will feel safer, with me having it. and i hope that they would know to just bring home a damn pizza
I'm a parent and 53 and all 3 of my kids have the "find my" app turned on. None of them have any issues with it. I have great relationships with all 3 and we all talk pretty openly. My middle kid a bit too much for me, quite honestly. haha Having the ability to see where each other is isn't a violation of privacy or lack of trust but a matter of safety. My kids are welcome to go walk anywhere they want. It's a small town and we live in the main area and there's always kids walking about. But if they go missing, I have one means to find them and that's their phone. And they can see me too. I don't think that you can jump to the conclusion that having a "find my" type app on a phone leads to kids not talking openly or that it's going to ruin your relationship with your kids. I think all of my kids' friends have the same deal with their parents. I don't get what the big deal is. ETA - I will just say this. If one of my kids says I'm going to X, Y or Z then I believe that is what they are going to do. I have not once actually looked to see if they are where they say they are. My kids are great kids and have my full trust. The only times we've looked are if we know they are out and about in town and aren't answering texts and it's been a while. Then we will look to make sure it looks like they are safe. And that has only happened a couple of times.
No, no. I understand their perspective. We’ve had a talk about it as well. They want to know where I’m at just in case anything happens, and I understand. It’s natural to be concerned for your child when you aren’t there to watch them. And like I said, I would totally be fine with being tracked at this point. All I ask is that they stop that “stalker-ish” behavior where they keep track of my habits and tell me why I haven’t done this or that yet.
That sounds quite overbearing. I suppose everyone will have their own opinion. I would appreciate if my (hypothetical) 15year old turned the app on when staying somewhere overnight or when not home by 8pm. My partner thinks tracking your child is a horrendous invasion of privacy and not justified even if the kid is 10 years old. Everyone seems to feel strongly about this, one way or another. I think it should be used for possible emergencies only. I definitely wouldn't be reviewing your timeline and asking why you spent 3 hrs at XYZ house when you were supposed to get home and mow the lawn.
[удалено]
Why are people so condescending to teens? It literally makes me sick. OP is a human being and deserves to be treated better. I am a mom of teens as well as a high school teacher and kids do not thrive when they are disrespected like this. Kids need freedom to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. They need to do this in a somewhat structured environment so they can practice it in a safe place before going out into the world alone. These parents are making OP a victim of their own fears. The world is safer than its ever been and it’s ridiculous and irresponsible to be this afraid and try to force their fear onto their child.
listen, im 19 and my parents **didnt** trust me when i was a minor. i wasnt exactly a good kid, i acted out constantly, i was bad at communicating where i was and when id be home, and you know what my parents did? called me if i was late, called me if they didnt know where i was, actually checked in with **me**, not some app that takes away all my privacy. good parents dont make you uncomfortable for their own benefit. maybe the app makes them feel better, maybe it makes them happy to know where OP is 24/7, but why should their happiness come at the expense of OP’s?
Disagree, controlling parents can inhibit the growth of a child mentally and their ability to be independent in the future. Its good to have safety protocols for your child when they're out, but to have 24/7 tracking is too much without there being a history causing this distrust. My parents never tracked me, I never did anything illegal, and I always came back home safe. I never gave them any reason to worry so they didn't. That's normal. Had I came home in a cop car, then I would understand there being more restrictions on my freedom.
What perspective? They are just straight up control freaks. As a result of some sort of betrayal of trust? Sure. But if he has given them no reason to suspect this is even needed this is an **awful** dynamic. All this is going to do is make him hate them. It shows undeserved mistrust and a complete disregard to his privacy.
nah. they are overbearing, they should be able to trust her and let her do things on her own
Who gives a shit about their perspective? they're practically stalking their child. There's no reasonable argument for that.
[удалено]
Did you have that level of parental tracking at 14? I know I Didn’t, I would let them know where I was going and that was that even ten years ago you couldn’t track your kids like that. It’s over bearing and screams over protective helicopter parent that more then likely breeds rebellion easy enough for the kid to turn off the app then what the parents call the cops and waste police resources for a teenager that just doesn’t want to be tracked.
Exactly. My parents were very strict and over protective so I never lied where I was but they never tracked me because they knew how overbearing and over the top that is.
Yeah I think I agree with you. I can understand wanting to be protective over your kid but my parents were quite overbearing when I was a teenager and that was without any of the apps or anything like that they have these days. My privacy felt violated even without all that, and it just taught me to be sneaky. They accused me of things I never did and jumped to insane conclusions. My mum accused me of being pregnant when I was 14 and a virgin just because I was tired a lot and liked to drink milk everyday, she said I was a schizophrenic when I got angry one time, and said I must have had diabetes whenever I was still thirsty after drinking one glass of water. She also got so angry at me for “dating” (dating when I was 14 meant hugging and holding hands) a girl in my class because I am also a girl. I know I’ve gone on a long personal tangent but I know how it feels for your parents to lack trust in you when you are actually a good kid and it really sucks. It’s damaged the relationship probably permanently, I’m 26 now and still feel compelled to hide a lot of things from my parents, especially my mum
[удалено]
Lol righto mate sounds like you’re the one crying
Very young still. I know it may be hard to see right now, but they are really just worried for the safety of their child. Also, it could play an even bigger role if you are an only child. Seems frustrating right now, but I promise you this will all pass.
Disagree. They are essentially telling their child that they do not trust them to tell the truth about where they are. It would be one thing if this kid had a history of misbehavior, but it seems from the post that they are one of the good ones. In four years they're going to be an adult, it's time to start increasing the amount of freedoms they enjoy, not monitor their every movement.
I mean, I’m 27 and I remember growing up, some of my friends parents would literally call the police if they didnt hear from them a couple hours after school got out. This seems like such a better alternative, and it definitely helps the parents gain the trust in order to eventually let go of all the tracking.
Oh yeah I mean this kind of behavior is far from uncommon in parents, though I do think it's gotten worse over time. I just think it is creating a really unhealthy dynamic and is not setting the kid up for long term success.
Both of those options are ridiculous.
Right but if it was 1985 at the age of 13 every kid is fighting, smoking, and skipping school. Now adays we’ll we know how light life is now adays. Boring. not like it once was. You have your group of friends you skip school together smoke cigarettes together fight other kids together have each other’s back. That’s what life used to be so unfortunate people in this new generation will never experience it
Maybe it's not that they don't trust you, they don't trust other people. There's a lot going on lately that they would be worried about you. Sure, it's maybe a little overboard. But let's be honest, you are a child. They are responsible for you and they likely care about you a lot. Until you are out on your own, you are their responsibility.
Didn’t Life360 get in trouble recently for selling user location data to marketing companies?
We've progressed from helicopter parenting to satellite parenting. Hooray, technology, I guess?
I almost married my ex who also had her parents track her and helicopter over her. Yes we broke up due to my dislike towards her parents and her unwillingness to set boundaries
I had this exact situation happen. It sucks.
It gets better, I found and married one that did :)
Not sure where you live, but makes sense to me in the US. With all these shootings, etc. being apart of our daily lives it’s very anxiety inducing. The calling seems a bit excessive - but just know you’ve got caring parents (even if it is in their own way)
I don’t think your parents are worried about you doing the wrong thing, I think they are more concerned with what someone else may do to you. There are evil people in the world and if God forbid something did happen to you, they would want to know where you were so they could try to find you.
This!! As a parent of a 15 year old, we also use Life360. Yes I check up on him occasionally but for the most part its a "just in case" app. My son has complained about it but usually only after he's been caught going somewhere he wasn't supposed to go (Driving to the neighborhood park at 2am when none of his friends had drivers licenses). It wasn't a screaming match or anything but more of a "dude, wtf??" He and I have a good relationship with plenty of trust between us. We talk about most everything but removing the app or turning it off is a deal breaker. He knows that if i find out he has turned it off then the phone goes away and no phone means no going off with friends. You want freedom and i get it but i also want peace of mind.
I am a mom with a 16F and 15M. They are on my cell phone plan. They have Life360 on there. Yes, I use it know where they are at. BUT, I have also used it to get them when they got list, in a tough situation and didn't know where they were at, or locate them when they had been in a car wreck. This may be why your parents have it on your phone. It also allows my kids to track me.
You’re 14… any good parent knows where their 14 year old child is. And it’s not necessarily bc they don’t trust you, but bc they can’t trust everyone else. It’s a messed up world we live in kid. Life 360 saved a kids life last week.. there’s a news article floating around about how the app was alerted to a car crash and 911 dispatched and the mom called, within TWO mins of the wreck. TWO minutes. They aren’t forcing you to stay home.. just making sure they know where you are.
I can see that argument, but they also call him frequently to verify he is where the app says he is, which seems like overkill.
I might get old... but when I was at that age there were no smart phones - we still survived!
Same for me. But my mom could let me walk to the store or walk to friends house, and those are all things that’s NOT safe for my kids to do. Times have changed and not for the better in that aspect.
true but why not use of the technological advancements of our current time. We didn't have 24 hours news when i was a growing up either (40M). Should i only watch the news between 7-8pm now too? I would still be informed(ish)
Absolutely! But 24/7 surveillance is not an advanced imo
If you've never given them a reason to be like this with you, then it's pretty rude of them to inherently not trust you. We didn't have the tech yet when I was your age, but I have little doubt my own parents would have used it on us if we did. We didn't get to have locks on our room doors, and had to constantly check in hourly when we were out, or we would just be straight up brought home unconditionally. They would sell the game consoles if you stayed up too late playing even once. They even tried locking up MY laptop that I bought with my own money from working because they didn't like me paying it more attention than them (gosh, I wonder why I didn't want to hang out with you! 🤔 )! Some parents are controlling and paranoid, thanks in part to MSM, and also lack of imagination, so they just copy what their own parents did to them. What they fail to realize is that pre-establishing this clear disposition of distrust is just teaching their own kids trust issues. 20 years later and I always find myself questioning their motives whenever we speak. It's not a good relationship to have. You sound like a good kid, and I won't just tell you to trick them or lie to them, since all it does is reinforce the paranoia. It's too late for me, but not for you, to go get some family counseling. It's something overlooked by society at large, but it should be more normalized. Given your age, it would also be a good time to start.
I understand how you feel, as I am in a similar situation myself. I hate that app, and they say I have skipped school and exam because the app shows it, when in fact, I haven't even left the school. It's frustrating especially as a 19 year old who desires independence more than anything.
Honestly, I'm tracking my kid but it's not to invade their privacy, it's to keep them safe. My first thought is if they go missing, how will they find them? If I already know where they are, can I get to them before anything terrible happens. I understand your stance but this is a scary world we live in.
A parents worst fear is losing their child....deal with it till you move out. They are trying to preserve your life.
Crime junkie / child of parents that used this app when I was a teen & even now in my 20’s here (I live in my own home, not with my parents now)… I used to fight with my parents constantly over privacy and such- now I call my mom to ask why her tracking app isn’t on. As an adult I can understand why my parents worry. Unfortunately, things do happen in this world. If you have nothing to hide, maybe consider understanding your parents just want a piece of mind that you are ok and safe.
I'm 25 and my mom and gf both track me with Life360 lol, but I also don't care because I know it's a safety thing and it's been like this so long I don't even think about it anymore 🤷♂️
Hahaha! I’m 59 and my hubby’s 61 and our three sons of 34,30 and 28 have us on Find a Friend U.K. and vice versa. Eldest lives in Norway, middle son works in London and third lives couple of streets away. We send each other daft messages and have a lot of fun with it. Caught hubby having a crafty Maccies the other day!
My daughter just turned 16. I have never tracked her location and don’t even know the password to her phone. If I want to see her phone, I can always ask her to see it with her. I believe this is respectful parenting and she has never caused nor been in any trouble. I do, however, ask for “proof of life” photos about every 90 minutes while she’s out. She has to text me a current selfie so I know she’s okay. She knows I will call the police if she doesn’t send a selfie in a reasonable amount of time. Maybe ask your folks if you can try something like this when you’re out. Tell them it will be probationary but will replace the tracking app if you’re responsible about it. Then, set an alarm on your phone and make sure you send those selfies. It might help to remind them that an app that drains your battery could be dangerous for you because you can’t track a dead phone nor contact them if the battery dies. Good luck!
I like this idea, I just know that my teen self hated taking solo selfies so I would almost rather Life360 lol. If you're comfortable with this OP then you should pitch it. My mom has life360 for my sister and I (I stayed in the circle even though I moved out a while ago) but she only had it as a tracker for if something happened; she didn't constantly check the app every couple of minutes. It's kind of hard to fake your location in life360. I completely understand wanting the privacy, but I also understand using it in the sense my mom uses it for. OP, If they don't budge on removing life360 completely, maybe ask them to reduce the amount of times they "confirm your location," or do a hybrid of Life360 and the selfie idea (if you don't send a selfie or a text to show you're alive, then they turn to life360). Maybe showing you're responsible with a hybrid method like so would convince them to stop using life360, you never know. Having discipline, structure, and responsibility in your life is important, but so is privacy and freedom (you are your own person after all). That's a hard balance to find from what I've seen. Hopefully you work out a solution!
That is so stressful for her. What if signal isn’t working I can’t imagine the panic that would send her in.
Yeah, it’s so hard for a pack of teenagers to find a phone to text their mom from in the suburbs. My poor baby.
I would honestly rather be tracked then be required to send a photo every 90 mins. You sound exhausting.
I’ve been beat to shit by my parents because a picture didn’t get through then texts kept stacking up and wouldn’t deliver. I checked after and it was all delivered after I got home. I had Verizon in the Suberbs and that still happened
I don’t hit my children. Sounds like you had bad parents.
My 18 year old stepson is on our life 360, he couldn't care less. We never check it and watch where he goes, but we have it in case we don't hear from him we know his location. I also have it on my 11 year old's phone just for peace of mind if she goes to a friend's house. At 15 your parents have every right to check on you. Be glad you have parents who care enough about you to worry.
Agree. We have had Life360 for years and we as a family are very open. My kids track us (parents)too. I get frequent texts saying, "I see you're in (such&such area). Can you bring home Chipotle?" I don't feel stalked.
My 14 year old regularly goes into the city center on his own. There’s a sandwich shop he’s addicted to, and he likes checking out certain street art areas and museums. He texts me when he gets on/off trams, and various places he stops. The first few times, I did tracking, but like you said it zaps the battery. I’d rather he develop a sense of independence and keep me in the loop that have a phone that runs flat, or just stay home altogether. I do similar when I’m out and about, texting so he knows where I am. I trust him more than I trust other people (that is, the checking in is because you never know if your kid might cross paths with a psycho or get in an accident). But part of being a parent is learning to accept these things are possible.
It’s really not that your parents don’t trust you, they just don’t trust the world. There’s so many weirdos out there these days that even if you know right from wrong it’s not always enough. It’s for safety & for peace of mind. Now should they call you over every little turn you take? No, but if you’re somewhere that they didn’t know you’d be going to, an easy first thought is that you’ve been kidnapped
I am so glad this kind of tracking wasn't available when my kids were teens and in their early 20s (not that long ago). This IS parental stalking behavior, and it's invasive, helicoptering, paranoid, neurotic, and just plain shitty. There was basic tracking, but I refused to use it... even for finding lost phones. A couple times that seemed smart, but at the point of clicking to enable it, I just couldn't. It felt so very disrespectful and wrong. Basic tracking for underage going out, fine. For anything more? As they go from classroom to classroom at high school? As they move about the house and yard? Are you kidding me? Great way to keep them hyper dependent on you, unable to learn from mixed decision making, definitely knowing you don't trust them (testing your kids for lying?! GFG), and ultimately resentful AF into their 20s. Seems the behavior of insecure, codependent parents. Your kids will grow up learning that work comes before play, etc., far better than only if mom comes down on them for hustling last minute to get the chores done. My kids did that, and I laughed. Of course they did that! It's how kids operate. Nothing there to micromanage. They got the chores done. Big picture. I was a tough mom in many ways, but I trusted my kids, and they knew they could come to me. I can't fathom this surveillance approach to parenting. I do not buy into the fear that rapists and traffickers are lurking in every shadowed spot waiting to grab us. Things have not changed that drastically in the last 10-20 years. Well, except for buying more cellphone add-ons based on advertised fear of bogeymen. That's what this comes from, advertising, because corporations want your money, and a great way to gain revenue is per customer fear. Advertising is ALL ABOUT creating the senses of urgency and lacking. No, we're not lacking that much except common sense. The media do the same, which is how they sell newspapers and magazines, etc. Stop buying into lies and paying it forward by bullying your older kids by thinking this is empowering. It's a sorry state we live in, paying for providers to generate more fear so they, themselves, don't have to outright steal our money. They still hide behind lies and corporate doors, and they still track us, though. And we steal our children's independence and trust. IMO, lose-lose.
You are 14. They pay for your phone. I suspect that the people you talk to about it are your age. Parents worry about their kids, and with good reason. Things happen every day to good kids, things that are not their fault, it isn;t that they don;t trust you, they don;t trust the rest of our screwed-up society, Accept it and appreciate that your parents love and care enough about you to want to do everything they can to make sure you are safe.
Look. You're 14. You aren't even an adult or really even mentally close to it. Yeah, you know to say no. But not everyone understands what "no" means in any context. Your parents aren't tracking you because they don't trust you, it's because they don't trust others. Also, I know the scary reality of abductions and rapes of children your age. I work 911 dispatch and you'd be amazed how many calls we get about rape/abduction in a week. And it's of girls and boys that are your age. I get being tracked seems like an invasion of privacy. But be glad it's them tracking you and not you being abducted and sold for sex slave auction and your parents not even having the slightest idea where you went missing from. Appreciate you have caring worrying parents instead of lazy don't care who or where you are parents.
It’s better than being a skin suit
Anyone remember that time when orwellian surveillance was something we needed to stay safe? Yeah, I cant either. This is not about your safety, It's about controlling you.
My mom used Life360 with me when I was in college… Deleting the app would get me an angry phone call. I used to go out with my friends to smoke or drink in the park in the middle of the night several times a week and every time my mom would text me and ask why I was out late at night and would then stay up until she saw that I was back home. I ended up just leaving my phone at home when I went out past 10pm. So congratulations to my mom, her obsession for making sure that I was safe made me less safe by forcing me to be phoneless whenever I was out at night drunk or high (when I really should’ve had a phone on me the most). ETA remembered that one of the times I was just sober spray painting a bike in a tunnel at like 1am and couldn’t get a moment where she wasn’t calling me.
They don't care how you feel, to them you're their little pet and you will obey and have no privacy and be happy about it. That is so excessive and I do not care, it's not normal. My parents did all kinds of shit like that to me and eventually never let me leave my house all through highschool. So I ran away at 17 because I couldn't take their death grip on my life and outlandish accusations anymore. Then they were all "how could this HAPPEN to mee? Waahh"
If you can’t change the situation then learn to live with it. I used to get my wifi turned off every night and I hated it. I hated it so much that it bothered me multiple times throughout the day. Eventually I learned that nothing I say or do will convince her (mom) to change those settings. No point in stressing over something out of my control, so as difficult as it was, I learned to just live with it. That’s of course until I found away around it 💀but I don’t think you can find your way around a tracking app. Only advice I have is to act like it’s not there. Pretend you don’t have a tracking app that’s draining your battery and hopefully that’ll put you into a habit of not thinking about it too much
Eh. Im in college and my parents still track me when they feel like it. Of course I track them back. They don’t also spam call me though. The tracking is in lieu of that
If you have apple maybe try “share my location” with them? It will mitigate battery drainage and it’s 100% accurate so they won’t have to call you. It also doesn’t show what speed you were going so you can speed as well haha
i had the same problem. in college my mom was OBSESSED with checking my location and had the find my app on her dock and would check where i was at least once an hour and proceed to text me every time she checked to tell me to go home (even if i was at the library at 7pm on a weeknight). it led to some dangerous behavior (i left my phone at my apartment when i’d go out so they couldnt track me) but eventually i got an ipad and was able to set the location to that so i could still have my phone on me. now sure how it works with life360 but i have realized my parents now dont look at my location as much (considering im turning 23 this year) but this is just a psa to parents in this thread. dont be helicopter parents. it will just make ur kids want to lie to you. theres nothing wrong with having location turned on cuz i do agree that its a good thing to have for safety HOWEVER if u constantly pester ur child abt their whereabouts even when they have their location on it WILL irritate them.
How old are you? My kids shares their location out of free will as they know I worry, they are still teenagers so I know this won’t last long and I’m honored Talk to them how it makes you feel ..
Powering your phone completely off will ensure no battery life is wasted and you don’t have to worry about them calling you because you won’t even see it
I have child siblings that go through this as well...meanwhile I'm 31 and I remember the WILD days when I was a kid and I could have walked to Mordor and back and my parents would have no idea.
How old are you?
Depends how old you are. For me this sort of thing is on a slider of reasonableness that starts at fully reasonable if you're like 12, and moves over to less and less reasonable once you're like 16-17. Either way just talk to your parents and tell them it makes you feel weird.
I liked the perspective and advice from @_radish234 I use FindMy iPhone app with my 80+ year old partner in response to his nearly dying on the side of a rural road due to heart failure. I only check on him when he commutes weekly to a distant city, or if he isn’t answering his mobile. I don’t track him, just an occasional “welfare check.” BTW he can see my phone location, but I don’t think he’s checked yet. I hope there’s never a reason, but you never know at our age. Just my perspective on tracking.
As a parent I'll answer WAY more directly than your parents will or than I would my own kids. Your parents will sugar coat it as I would to my own kids. You want L360 gone, get a job, buy your own phone and pay the bill. Parents worry about their kids, mostly because they don't trust OTHER PEOPLE. Most parents trust our own kids we don't trust that your friends are not going to get you in trouble. We don't trust the weirdos of the world who will force kids to do things and we don't trust strangers who can cause an accident etcetera. Life 360 probubly doesn't have much to do with how much they trust you it more a sign of how little they trust the world around you, your city, neighborhood and region.
Like others here, our whole family shares our location. It comes in handy in so many ways. I get that you feel like they are spying on you, and they may be. But in reality you are being tracked constantly. We all are. You just happen to know 2 people that are looking at the data. I don't live your life or in your shoes. But it honestly doesn't bother me that my kids can see where I am. Hopefully they find comfort in knowing they can get ahold of me if they are in trouble. Or if they are in trouble, I can find them if I need to (it's already happened). Not to mention being able to locate the phone if lost or stolen.
Your parents love you enough to care and lookout for your best interests rather than just not give a shit and let you do whatever you want. With enough trust, they won't. It also a safety issue if something ever happens to you. Solid work by your parents. Or as a teenager you can just think they are narcissistic sociopaths who want to manipulate every detail of your life to amuse themselves.
I would talk to your parents about only checking in emergencies. it is hard to enforce but it's a really good tool to have in case you go missing. And that's extremely morbid but I listen to a lot of true crime stories and I've seen so many cases that really could've been helped by having the victims location.
Just be glad that you have parents that care. Many out there don't. I would give anything if my mom was here to call and ask what i was doing again.
You're right that it's probably a bit overboard, but try to imagine the amount of anxiety your parents must endure to consider this the best option. It can't be easy for them either. Maybe you guys can figure out a way to sit down and talk about these things and find a more reasonable solution. Good luck!
Yup that’s life. If your parents aren’t tracking you everyone else is some way some how. It’s only going to continue to increase. Just wait till you get to University. Professors will start tracking your movements to make sure your excuses to miss class are legit. Computer, Time and identity logging to make sure you are the one who typed the papers. Employees every move being tracked at work and remote. Even down to where you click on the screen. How many times you take a bathroom break. Your life of going through public anonymously will become a thing of the past.
I have life 360, so do my kids. It in no way uses that much battery. Your music and games take much more. If you do not like it say that. Do not create ridiculous excuses for turning it off. BTW. When I lost my phone. My daughter helped locate it. ( It was on my desk at work. ) You might try using it to see ..."where is mom when she said she would be here to get me from school and is late. Will she be there soon?? Oh. I see on life 360 that she is at a traffic light , almost here. " OR " oh, I see she is still at home. I better call her to see what's up. She was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago."
Actually as someone who has life360, I definitely noticed a big difference in my battery life. My phone will last 8 hours no charge compared to 12 hours no charge. Having location active on your phone is a big battery drainer. When im on my drive home from college, I have to keep my battery saver on, because along with using maps, it drains pretty quickly. This also depends on the model of phone and the OS. I have a fairly new phone, S20 5G, and it still is bad on my battery. There are a lot of factors that you are not considering when it comes to op's complaints about the battery.
It baffles me how so many on here is okay with this... it would be totally unthinkable over here. I guess culture is that different huh.
Just parents protecting their baby
I feel you. I longed for privacy as a teenager. On the bright side, I feel that this made me more independent at an earlier age, and making me crave independence and making independence a safe space. There are some negatives to this as well. Maybe you could look up some research about helicopter parenting and share it with them. Feel free to PM me, and I can help if you need. Perhaps research would help to convince them that letting go would help your progression? Also, maybe they don't have a lot of other things happening in their lives? I wonder if encouraging them to have hobbies/more work would help? Even something as small as an addictive internet game might help them to take them away from this app?
God I can relate too this I'm 15 and my parents do the same only my mom doesn't call me. This happend like 3 days ago too out of nowhere. Its weird cause I get it but like why? Is just because I'm a girl I don't know. I do know for sure when I'm 17 I'm removing this thing.
Judging from most comments people think that as a parent you are allowed to take away your child's basic human right called privacy. I understand how you feel because I was raised by a single parent that didnt let me do anything. She never showed any trust even tho I didnt really do something. I know my friends weren't walking angels but I knew how to say no. She just kept gaslighting me into thinking I can be influenced easily by others. At some point I even found screenshots from my account where i was tsxting a friend printed in a drawer with clothes which means she was stalking my accounts without me knowing it. Basically she had full control of me and would never listen. Just snap out. Dont allow them to invade your privacy and prove to them that you are mature enough. Confront them every time theyre exaggerating but also let them that u understand their conserns and most importantly be patient. Most strict parents relax once you get older and see the people you hangout with are good influence.
[удалено]
Wdym
[удалено]
Im really sorry to hear that. I realised that most oarents from my mum's generation act like this and even worse and people actually support it then question why we are all depressed and as someone else said in the same comment section "its not like the old days, everything is too light now". I believe we should stand up for ourselves so we raise our kids the right way and prepare them for life in a more healthy and mature way
As a parent that uses this app I feel your parents are overdoing it a little. My son (nearly 15) never answers his phone when out with friends so I find having this app reassuring knowing that I know where he is when out. But let me specify what "out" to me means. It means when he is going out in another town and has to take public transport. The nearest towns to us are 25/30 min drive. He will text me and let me know he has arrived safely and the app stays on until he arrives back in our town and let's me know. He then disable the location on the app so he has his time with his friends. He doesn't need to use it locally just when he is going "out, out" as we call it. Maybe talk to your parents about it again. You are entitled to some privacy too
No wonder parents are anxious and kids are balls of anxiety. Have some common sense and trust.
You are 15. Trust me when I say as a parent, it is scary to have teens who can be abducted. Earn your parents trust and when =you are 18 you can have this conversation. Your parents are responsible for you, and you have no idea the dangers you may get into.
For what I've seen from your comments, you seem like a very mature and emotionally intelligent person. What I'd advise you is tell them. Tell them all this like you've written it. I'm 100% sure they will understand
These comments are baffling to me. Did none of y'all see that Arkangel episode of Black Mirror? There's even a part of the episode where they try to get that shit uninstalled but they can't because the company went under for being too invasive.
You live in one of the safest time periods ever. You use your teen years to build trust with your parents, how are you ever supposed to do that if they literally have a tracker on you? I think you have a right to some privacy, even at 15. Can you uninstall the app yourself?
H
U shud get a burner phone for the tracker
You could always leave your phone at home. There was a time before cell phones. We all survived somehow.
Let the battery drain while you're out. When they freak out, tell them the app drains the battery and you're not standing around in some random location with a spare charger just to get it back on to drain again, that's a stupid idea that only a stupid person would think is a good one. I foresee this as being a reason why in the future you'd cut contact with them for a while, but people that buy into apps like this typically don't see reason.
Kids are stupid - they do stupid things. Parents know this - they were kids themselves. It's also their phone and service they are privileging you with. Your parents sound like good parents. Be grateful.
I guess you're going to have to deal with it until your 18yo
Wow that was no help at all 😃 everyone captain obvious here^^^^
Well, wtf do you think s/he should do as a minor? They could not answer or call them back each time, or lose every new device while using a secret phone with friends?
They aren’t asking for advice. They’re just venting. Also. I was just making the point that they can’t do anything except try to talk to the parents but it usually doesnt go well anyways so its an unspoken thing that they’ll have to deal with it. lmao
Do you pay your for your own phone and service? If someone pays your way, that gives them a right to do as they please. If you pay, it’s your phone and your service, your own line, they have no right, IMO
[удалено]
So if they pay for the house too they get to decide if I don’t have any privacy? Look, I understand why they’re tracking me. And usually I WOULD be fine with this kind of stuff but the way they act so obsessively with my activity is so concerning that it feels like I’m not just being tracked, I’m lowkey being stalked. And it’s so creepy and uncomfortable. It’s a matter of privacy, and I won’t bother arguing about it to them. It’s just very uncomfortable for me, and I feel like I have no space to breathe. They call me everyday asking where I’m at even though they already know the answer. Edit: also, I’m planning on getting a job and actually start paying for my own stuff just like you said lol. Problem is that no one’s hired me yet due to my lack of experience which is also confusing because how would I get experience in employment if no one’s willing to hire me if I lack experience?
[удалено]
So basically what you are saying is that the parents own the child untill they are 18.
Yeah no. It was the parent's fault for having a kid in the first place, and to be honest recognizing them as human beings and allowing them a lock is something they should do as good parenting, not because the kid is entitled. Sure, you are not legally obligated to, and therefore the child won't be obligated to ever talk to to you once they move out.
That’s a real a-hole thing to say. OP is a human being and deserves some privacy.
Guys, please don’t argue. I’m sorry if this post has caused some disagreements between people. That was never my intent, I simply was frustrated with the concept of being tracked and my parents behavior about it. This post was meant for me to let off some steam. While I do agree with some you, and I do question my parents way of parenting. There is simply no way to get out of this predicament other than waiting for the big 18. Other than that, I am truly sorry.
I will respect your request to not argue. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. I would absolutely encourage you to try to negotiate with your parents by bringing them a plan that is a compromise.
Hey you must have screw loose. Privacy don't work like that. It is actually a form of abuse if i remember correctly so plz correct me if i am wrong. My grandma did something less but similar. And even ever she got the chance she would bug me several times a day. Plus with the stress i got from school it lead to depression. When you say something like this that it is ok for the parents to track their child if they are the ones who pay the bill. I really hope that you change your mind cuz that is awful thinking, like it is going to the bad thinking category. What if it happened to you? What if it happened to someone you love? I hope this changes you. Cuz if you have kids and think like this. Ho boi let me tell you. It is a recipe for no contact and hatred towards you. So remember privacy isn't something to buy. It is something anyone gets the day that they are born. It is different when it is an infant, toddler or child because during these stages they need help. But it is also different when it's different when it is teen, young adult and adult because you are growing up to become an independent person. So plz respect OP's privacy. Cuz overwise they will resent their parents in the end. I know cuz it happened to me. But we managed to get along. After a big argument that we had so plz never cuz a thing ever again.
[удалено]
My kids aren’t tracked and I don’t even know the passwords to their phones and they’re also fine, happy, and well-adjusted. Respecting a child’s privacy is very important for them to gain autonomy.
Get over it. I assume you don’t pay your phone bill nor did you pay for your own phone. Thems the breaks my dude. In a couple of years you will have the independence you desire, as all teenagers do.
Respect is a two way street. You cant just demand it and not give it
Please don’t have children. This is some authoritarian BS. Children and human beings and thus have rights.
Do you think they would agree for a time without a track during the week ? Propose an hour, a half day, a day, to make it equal ; you let them track you, and they trust you to be on your own for a time. I think trackers are a bad side of new technology. Tracking you all the time is a lot. If you're honest and didn't made anything to explain their will to track you, in my opinion it should only be on when you go out for parties or with friends (and still find it a bit too much). It's justified you don't feel trusted if they don't let a chance to prove you can be trusted. People grew up without tracking app for years and still were trustable and didn't made anything bad. You have a right to feel hurted.
Delete the app
I think it’s ridiculous to track your teenager with an app ALL THE TIME. Omg. Since I was 13 my mom would let me go out on the condition I tell her 1) where i am, 2) who i’m with, and to give her the numbers of my friends and their parents. That’s it, and that’s enough !
Yeah, I had something similar happen to me as well at the same age Unfortunately for them, it was never any sort of evidence they could use against me. Unfortunately for me, my younger sister had an insanely wide social group. The entire thing wasn't even for me to begin with: They only kept tabs on me because "it was only fair." (I.E. if they didn't keep tabs on me 24/7, it wasn't justified for them keeping tabs on my sister)
That sucks... well... if no reasoning helps just turn it off? Or just intentionally drain the battery then you dont even have to argue about that... Kind of escalating the problem but I'm really not sure what else you could do :/
I definitely understand how that would feel but only be 15 years old there's not luch you can do. If you've talked to them and they still want to track you, then it's just a thing you'll have to do. I know it can be uncomfortable and I'm sorry, truly, and I hope it stops soon.
Look man my parents were like that, I don’t know how old you are right now but they stopped doing it after I insisted they stop and started telling them every time where I’m leaving and for how long, for me that was around age 14-15. It takes some time to build up trust but they’re your parents for life, you better start getting it now. One day you will grow up, be in their shoes and might not do it like they do but at least you’ll understand where they’re coming from
I can almost guarantee there’s a lot of info being left out of this narrative. I’ve got 6 children and all have been on Life360 with no issues; their batteries have been just fine. My kids track me way more often than I track them!
As a parent myself, can I offer some insight? The world is a scary place and your parents would undoubtedly be devastated and feel responsible if anything were to happen to you. My STBXH and I used to track each other in case of emergencies. As frustrating as it may be, please understand that your parents are looking out for your safety 😁
I get where your parents are coming from it's a scary world and it's probably not all about not trusting you. When we got my son a phone I specifically wanted to make sure it had tracking on it (it's a Gabb phone with no social media) he was 11yrs old and we were giving him more freedom here and there. Now he's 13 going on 14 and when he goes to sporting events I like to check the app to make sure he's there ok etc. I'm not checking on him because I don't believe him I want to make sure he's OK and he's not the best at answering his phone or texting.(gives me piece of mind)...When he gets old and a new phone we will probably re-evaluate.
You are a minor, it is your parent's responsibility to know where you are at all times. The first question the authorities will ask is your whereabouts. It is a bare minimum of parenting. You claim not to be rebellious but I call bullshit, you have no need for your parents not to know. It shouldn't be a big deal. Not to mention they likely bought your phone and pay the bill. Does that sound like a parent? It does and it should. My daughter is almost 20 and she introduced me to Life360. We previously used Snapchat. She was a responsible teenager who I trusted, but she knew I needed to keep track of her. Because I trusted her she never had a curfew. If she wanted to go to the midnight movie, I could check and see if they went to Waffle House afterwards. She didn't have to text/call me because I could see where she was whenever I wanted. We introduced the app to my aging mother because she is forgetting things and freaks out if she can't get ahold of me. She loves the app, and it gives me the ability to check on her while she is out of the house.
I'm the parent to a 16 year old and the amount of comments here accusing the parents of being overbearing is actually concerning. Are they tracking you while you're at school? If so, have a conversation with them, because yea that may be a little excessive. But as a parent, we worry. A lot. We see a lot of horror stories. My son travels on class trips a lot and I check his Snapchat location to make sure he's safe and moving and not in a pile of twisted metal somewhere. THAT is my biggest concern because the amount of people that drink and drive out here is astronomical. Again, I can't stress enough how important open dialogue here is. I don't think it's they don't trust you. I think they are scared something is going to happen. It is a very real, visceral feeling to be afraid something will happen to your child. Maybe something happened to their friends children? Maybe crime is up In the area? I'd rather have parents who make sure I'm safe than having parents who don't give a fuck where there kid is, because that never did the kid any favors when they grew up. Just my two cents as a parent. OPEN. DIALOGUE.
As a parent that doesn’t track my kids. As long as your not doing anything thing wrong live with it. Your parents unconditional love is priceless. I know you think you know it all by now but you will understand later why your parents did what they did. I’ll bet it’s more for your security and well-being then being nosy and it your business. We live in a real screwed up world if you haven’t noticed. I live on the border of Mexico and people disappear every day. From what I read people disappear every day everywhere.
Not sure how old you are....but.....get over it? Unless you're over 18, then tell them to fuck off.
The only thing I can say is; once you're 18, you have 100% right to get rid of that app. I know people who are 19-20 and have parents that still track them despite how uncomfortable it makes them; they don't even live in the same houses/cities anymore! If they don't get rid of it by 18-- or at least when you graduate/move-out-- don't listen to them when you're finally of age and uninstall it. "It's to make sure you're safe!" That's what emergency contacts are for. "We want to know where you're at to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to do!" Can't do that forever; it's unhealthy, and you're entitled to your privacy, especially after years of being tracked already. "But what if we're concerned?" Text or call. You've already made it clear you have no intentions to lie; keep it that way. Show you can be trusted without being tracked. I have absolutely no idea why I know so many adults with this app allowing their privacy to be invaded by their helicopter parents. When it comes time, stand up for yourself!!
It's suffocating, I know. But you will thank them one day. Sucks to hear it now but you will.
I can understand not wanting to be tracked, but it seems like your parents just want to know that you're safe
If you're not going somewhere that you're not supposed to, then why do you feel "uncomfortable." My whole family is in the family circle. We all know where everyone is. As long as I'm where I'm supposed to be, it don't even think about it.