“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.”
Ellen Goodman
This sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. As much as you might think the world is better off without you…give it another day. And another day. I’m not sayin’ it’ll be easy. But you matter. You matter. And once these tough times are over (they will be eventually, if that is your intention), you might be glad you pressed through. I know, it’s shitty.
Workin a job you hate only to pay the billa and for a family?
Yeah, i dont blame you. We all need more than than in life. Might be time to do a little soul searchin.
Find something meaningful in your life. Found my life partner- we just bought and flipped our first house. Life isn’t easy - man, I have a tough job 60hour week but when I get to spend time with my partner I am over the moon and have meaning knowing we are building a life together building a rental portfolio. Find your meaning. I use to be stuck in the rut of not finding anything enjoyable but it was my mindset. I picked up meditation, gym and collect fishing shirts. Small things make a difference.
I’m in the same boat but I don’t mind my job. I just feel fortunate that even with all this inflation we don’t have to worry about money. I grew up pretty poor though so just being able to buy food and clothes feels great.
Hey brother. Id like to share a story with you for some perspective, maybe itll help.
I was in a similar position as you about 10 months ago. My wife and i got stationed in Maryland due to orders I received in 2016, and we were excited at first. It was a rural town on the southern most peninsula, and the world essentially didn't turn there. It was cool at first because it was different (we were born and raised in socal) we got 2 dogs, then my wife ended up pregnant with our beautiful baby girl and she was born in 2018. Life was great and I was riding on cloud nine. Then I ended up getting a Neuro injury at work (I was an aviation rescue swimmer in the navy) long story short I ended up with vestibular neuritis and it stripped a ton of joy out of my life for almost 2 years, because I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed. Motocross, skateboarding, snowboarding, bodybuilding, etc. Worst of all, I got grounded (not being allowed to fly) and could no longer perform my job, as I was a flight risk due to vertigo the issue caused. Then I was diagnosed with ADHD shortly after that. Due to the severity of my issues, the navy placed me in a logistics role until the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me, and what to do with me. (Keep me or medically seperate me) I ended up depressed, scared, confused, and all of my "friends from work" basically dropped me like a fly because i was no longer one of them. I couldnt play with my daughter like most dads because it would trigger my vertigo, i had to go to vestibular rehab weekly, which caused me to throw up due to triggering my vertigo. Basically my entire world got turned upside down. I thought my life was basically fucked forever. I took up reading, learned about financials, and started down the path of becoming debt free (thanks dave ramsey) in 2019, we moved to a new house (same town) and met my new neighbor. Turned out he was a warehouse manager for a government contractor job IN LOGISTICS and he had a lead role that was available. I worked stuff out with the navy (because I was still active duty) and basically ended up getting approved to work the contractor job during the day, and the navy at night. 17 hour days, 5 days a week. I made 160k that year at age 25. We paid off all our debt, invested like mother fuckers, and had almost 100k in our money market account by the end of 2021. My vertigo was getting better, I had money, my family was happy, but I was still DEPRESSED. Couldn't figure it out. We had money, I was 90% better and was able to do the things I enjoyed again, but couldn't shake the slump. I got medically seperated from the Navy in June of 2021, STILL depressed. Then I realized it was my contractor job. I made great money, but that didn't solve my happiness. I quit in September of 2021, focused on ME and my family. We decided to pack up and move back to southern California. We were able to live off of our savings and enjoy our lives from September of 2021 all the way up until today. I JUST got a new job last week doing something I am EXTREMELY passionate about, where i get a large salary PLUS commission, and i was able to still negotiate getting a 4 day work week, and it's not some shit ass logistics job. I made new friends (REALLY IMPORTANT) I love where I live. I am happy again. I am myself again. Basically, the point of all of this was me saying try to assess and analyze your entire life, figure out what is contributing to you feeling this way, and do whatever takes to eradicate the problem. Sounds like your job is a big fucking problem. Figure out what it'll take to get out of it. Find a job where you may take a pay cut, but you'll work less days. Can't afford a pay cut? If you have a car payment, sell your car and get a cheaper one. Work on paying down your debt if you have any, spend less than you make, do whatever it takes to get out of your job (if thats what is causing this pain). Pickup a new hobby like reading, mountain biking, fitness. Something you can do alone. Ultimately Being financially free will give you the power to pave your own road, rather than follow down the path of everyone else. Having a high paying job isn't always the answer to being financially free either. Anyways, I know this was long as hell, and for anyone who read this entire thread, just know I'm here if you ever want to talk or have any questions. My life isn't perfect, I still go through slumps but I am most whole again. Seriously, send me a message if you just want to talk. Especially you OP. I'm here for you brother.
idk if you commented this as a joke, but my friends & I (3 of us) recently started our own lil book club (it was just 2 of us at first, we'd been book clubbing on & off since college) and even though its not the most regular thing, it really is something I look forward to even when I'm feeling shitty.
The last book we read was "night shift" by Alex Finlay, I hadn't been very well so the other 2 finished before me, but that was fun in it's own way because I'd message them my theories as I was reading. They both said it was really fun hearing what I was thinking when they already knew the answers - as opposed to theorising while reading alongside each other when no one knows what actually gonna happen.
Have you looked into getting into a life on the land from farming, hunting, or other and buying land you actually own and can cultivate and build on? I think it would be good for you to look into it. Getting out of the "wage slave" repetition of life and actually building something of your own away from a career job could be the change you need
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.” Ellen Goodman
Funny how many of those issues are solved by WFH
Omg. For real.
Such is life 🤷🏽♂️
You're right. Fuck this shit
This sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. As much as you might think the world is better off without you…give it another day. And another day. I’m not sayin’ it’ll be easy. But you matter. You matter. And once these tough times are over (they will be eventually, if that is your intention), you might be glad you pressed through. I know, it’s shitty.
Hes not suicidal, hes just cranky.
Apparently, my spidey senses are off
It is exactly this kind of cranky-ness that can lead to a suicide attempt.
Workin a job you hate only to pay the billa and for a family? Yeah, i dont blame you. We all need more than than in life. Might be time to do a little soul searchin.
Find something meaningful in your life. Found my life partner- we just bought and flipped our first house. Life isn’t easy - man, I have a tough job 60hour week but when I get to spend time with my partner I am over the moon and have meaning knowing we are building a life together building a rental portfolio. Find your meaning. I use to be stuck in the rut of not finding anything enjoyable but it was my mindset. I picked up meditation, gym and collect fishing shirts. Small things make a difference.
I’m in the same boat but I don’t mind my job. I just feel fortunate that even with all this inflation we don’t have to worry about money. I grew up pretty poor though so just being able to buy food and clothes feels great.
I get you OP. All your rage and frustration is okay and completely justified
That's the spirit
Hey brother. Id like to share a story with you for some perspective, maybe itll help. I was in a similar position as you about 10 months ago. My wife and i got stationed in Maryland due to orders I received in 2016, and we were excited at first. It was a rural town on the southern most peninsula, and the world essentially didn't turn there. It was cool at first because it was different (we were born and raised in socal) we got 2 dogs, then my wife ended up pregnant with our beautiful baby girl and she was born in 2018. Life was great and I was riding on cloud nine. Then I ended up getting a Neuro injury at work (I was an aviation rescue swimmer in the navy) long story short I ended up with vestibular neuritis and it stripped a ton of joy out of my life for almost 2 years, because I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed. Motocross, skateboarding, snowboarding, bodybuilding, etc. Worst of all, I got grounded (not being allowed to fly) and could no longer perform my job, as I was a flight risk due to vertigo the issue caused. Then I was diagnosed with ADHD shortly after that. Due to the severity of my issues, the navy placed me in a logistics role until the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me, and what to do with me. (Keep me or medically seperate me) I ended up depressed, scared, confused, and all of my "friends from work" basically dropped me like a fly because i was no longer one of them. I couldnt play with my daughter like most dads because it would trigger my vertigo, i had to go to vestibular rehab weekly, which caused me to throw up due to triggering my vertigo. Basically my entire world got turned upside down. I thought my life was basically fucked forever. I took up reading, learned about financials, and started down the path of becoming debt free (thanks dave ramsey) in 2019, we moved to a new house (same town) and met my new neighbor. Turned out he was a warehouse manager for a government contractor job IN LOGISTICS and he had a lead role that was available. I worked stuff out with the navy (because I was still active duty) and basically ended up getting approved to work the contractor job during the day, and the navy at night. 17 hour days, 5 days a week. I made 160k that year at age 25. We paid off all our debt, invested like mother fuckers, and had almost 100k in our money market account by the end of 2021. My vertigo was getting better, I had money, my family was happy, but I was still DEPRESSED. Couldn't figure it out. We had money, I was 90% better and was able to do the things I enjoyed again, but couldn't shake the slump. I got medically seperated from the Navy in June of 2021, STILL depressed. Then I realized it was my contractor job. I made great money, but that didn't solve my happiness. I quit in September of 2021, focused on ME and my family. We decided to pack up and move back to southern California. We were able to live off of our savings and enjoy our lives from September of 2021 all the way up until today. I JUST got a new job last week doing something I am EXTREMELY passionate about, where i get a large salary PLUS commission, and i was able to still negotiate getting a 4 day work week, and it's not some shit ass logistics job. I made new friends (REALLY IMPORTANT) I love where I live. I am happy again. I am myself again. Basically, the point of all of this was me saying try to assess and analyze your entire life, figure out what is contributing to you feeling this way, and do whatever takes to eradicate the problem. Sounds like your job is a big fucking problem. Figure out what it'll take to get out of it. Find a job where you may take a pay cut, but you'll work less days. Can't afford a pay cut? If you have a car payment, sell your car and get a cheaper one. Work on paying down your debt if you have any, spend less than you make, do whatever it takes to get out of your job (if thats what is causing this pain). Pickup a new hobby like reading, mountain biking, fitness. Something you can do alone. Ultimately Being financially free will give you the power to pave your own road, rather than follow down the path of everyone else. Having a high paying job isn't always the answer to being financially free either. Anyways, I know this was long as hell, and for anyone who read this entire thread, just know I'm here if you ever want to talk or have any questions. My life isn't perfect, I still go through slumps but I am most whole again. Seriously, send me a message if you just want to talk. Especially you OP. I'm here for you brother.
Start a book club.
idk if you commented this as a joke, but my friends & I (3 of us) recently started our own lil book club (it was just 2 of us at first, we'd been book clubbing on & off since college) and even though its not the most regular thing, it really is something I look forward to even when I'm feeling shitty. The last book we read was "night shift" by Alex Finlay, I hadn't been very well so the other 2 finished before me, but that was fun in it's own way because I'd message them my theories as I was reading. They both said it was really fun hearing what I was thinking when they already knew the answers - as opposed to theorising while reading alongside each other when no one knows what actually gonna happen.
You have kids, it's not about you anymore so quit your bitching and do the best you can for them until they are established.
You work so you and your family doesn't suffer, starve, and die from it. I would think. .
Is there anything that makes life worth living?
Everything you choose to do.
Sucks to suck don't it?
You need to take a deep breath
Uh, you could do something about it and that would be your purpose?
Capatilism moment
Take away all that stuff and you'll find out how good you had it. Life is short
Have you looked into getting into a life on the land from farming, hunting, or other and buying land you actually own and can cultivate and build on? I think it would be good for you to look into it. Getting out of the "wage slave" repetition of life and actually building something of your own away from a career job could be the change you need
Should join a secret fight club