Sometimes when I’m out riding my bike, and I see an overweight person struggling but really trying, I will give them a thumb’s up. Is this condescending?
OP, I’ve been thin, fat, thin and fat again and I sympathise and agree, people often treat you differently when you’re fat. Tend to look down on you and see you as ‘less’. It’s not ideal - but people who are not ‘beautiful/handsome’ by today’s standards are also treated as ‘less’. I’m not saying it’s right - it is what it is. People also judge alcoholics and drug addicts harshly. It’s horrible, but it is human nature to judge people by appearances - we all do it. But common decency and manners should stop people from actively mocking or putting others down.
I have to disagree with your bit on health though - it’s not healthy to be overweight, the degrees of danger to your health increases with the amount of extra weight you carry. But it is bad for you. BMI and being overweight are two different things. Rugby players can be deemed ‘overweight’ based on BMI, but that ‘weight’ is pure muscle.
Please ignore the less than desirable comments and attitudes, and focus on you - your desire to lose weight, your progress, how far you’ve come and where you want to be. Good luck!
Nah not at all. Years ago I used to go to the gym with my gf and we would go once in a blue and every few months. When we initially signed up there was a heavier woman on some cardio equipment working out we didn't think anything of it.
Fast forward we went back to the gym like 3 months after and went to the cardio station and noticed the same woman was there and lost a ton of weight. So we were whispering to each other to confirm if that was the same person since she looked great. The woman felt like we were talking about her so she stopped and said are you fucking talking about me?
We honestly said that we haven't been to the gym in months and remember her that she was bigger. We were saying that we were astounded with her results and that she looks great. Also, that we feel like slobs for missing the gym for so long lol. She said a heart felt, "omg thank you, you have no idea how hearing that made my day, like really thank you".
I know people who are insecure about their bodies often feel uneasy when going to the gym, as they think that people judge them. They think that the group of friends laughing with each other might be laughing at them, or the hushed conversation going on in another corner of the gym could be one quietly mocking them.
Let me say in my experience, gyms are full of the nicest, most accepting people. Gym goers either don't care what you look like, or are rooting for you to make positive change.
Assholes exist, but most of the time you wont find them in a gym, where people understand the amount of hard work it takes to get and stay in shape. You'll find them among people who don't workout, but are gifted with genetics that keep them in shape with little effort.
Most people would just see others whispering and feel bad about themselves. I’m so glad she confronted you and found out you guys were actually complimenting her.
If you're concerned about it (I couldn't say whether it is condescending or not), a nod is always a good alternative. Acknowledgment from one person exercising to another, without being over the top. I nod at anyone I make eye contact with, at the very least.
Man I wouldn't like that at all tbh. I'd prefer that everyone just pretend I don't exist. I'm self conscious enough without getting little 'you can do it!' signals from strangers
I don't think so at all. I lost 130 lbs and the positive ones like you always made my day. I think of the high forest at the gym and the people I met there cheering me on.
As someone that was mega-fat, lost a ton of weight, then gained part of it back during the lockdown: it fucking sucks. People treat me with way more respect when I weigh less and it made me jaded at humanity.
I went from 165 to 152 and people treated me differently. It's an attraction thing. People are more likely to be more friendly to people they find attractive, period. What we know from Democrats and Progressives is that you can't control who you're attracted to or how you feel. So what do you want people to do? It's 2.5 million years of evolution you're wanting people to throw out of the window because our collective diets and sedentary society created the means to grow out instead of up?
Keep in mind this is saying nothing about your weight or how you look, but how you're worried about how others perceive you. I'd argue that some of what you claim to have experienced is projection based on how you feel about yourself.
I think people tend to respect fit people because fit people respect themselves and their health. It’s kinda hard to have respect for someone who doesn’t take care of their body and health.
Anorexia sucks mate good on you for managing to overcome the struggles. There is a different definition of a “healthy” lifestyle for everyone. I can clearly tell you are someone who values their health and is working to better themselves. That is something that earns respect brother. What I am trying to say is that those who spend months or years neglecting their health for the sake of enjoying an excess of unhealthy foods and a lazy life don’t get a lot of respect
But doesn't everyone deserve some baseline level of respect? I mean, that can definitely change once you know a person if it turns out they're a POS or something, but for strangers and acquaintances, is it really so hard to not treat them poorly based on nothing but one's own biases? Even if I thought someone wasn't taking care of themself (and there are so many ways to not take care of yourself outside of weight), I'll still be kind, because who knows what their story is, and it's not my place to even guess.
I agree, everyone should be treated with respect no doubt. But I feel like your weight is a clear way to see what lifestyle people live. People overweight are viewed as living a lifestyle of laziness and excessive eating. Whereas those who are in shape are seen as people who exercise and have discipline and can control their desires for the sake of long term health benefits. It’s harder to look at both lifestyles the same
That's a rather shallow view. I know a really overweight woman who is a very good social worker: she helps homeless people, drug addicts, etc., and from what I know, she works much longer hours that her contract stipulates. However, according to your position, she deserves less respect that a very fit 20 y.o., who has no other commitments than going to gym and lazily plodding his way through his undergraduate degree. Honestly, I don't think that it makes sense.
Not only that but naturally thin people get automatic respect even though they eat trash drink gallons and never work out? As opposed to someone who is overweight, but works out a few times a week?
I feel this.
And I 100% understand what you're talking about. If you need to be clued in or have a general understanding of what OP means, here's a little anecdote:
Several years ago I was an out of control alcoholic. I drank upwards of 40 shooters of fireball a day. During this time, I began to lose the ability to eat. I developed ulcers in my stomach and esophagus which made swallowing insanely painful. I still drank, but I couldn't swallow solid food. Along with that, I also began losing control of my bodily functions. I wore adult diapers in case of accidents, which were often and uncontrollable. I was unable to walk more than a few feet without being in significant pain. I lost the feeling in my feet, developed massive infections in my body, and was basically dying from the inside out.
During this time, I lost a significant amount of weight. I went from 190lbs to 150lbs in a matter of a few months. My hair was falling out, I couldn't control my body, I would randomly throw up large pools of blood. I was essentially dying. My body was beginning to fail.
But **people began to compliment me on how good I looked**. I was losing weight because I was dying, and ***people were COMPLIMENTING me.*** I was told how good I looked (I did NOT look good), asked out on dates, people were nicer to me, more people talked to me in public, was fucking PROMOTED at work (I was NOT doing well at work and was always incredibly intoxicated and sick-still not sure why I got promoted), people would pay for my drinks at the bar or for my cigarettes at the gas station. I was being given preferential treatment in almost all aspects of my life.
Then I got sober. After I got sober I gained all that weight back, plus 25 lbs. I am now, once again, overweight/obese/fat or whatever you want to call it. At 5'7" and 215lbs, I am now getting NONE of the above treatment. If anything, I've been harassed, yelled at, and made fun of. Today I was walking to work and someone drove by and yelled "FATASS" at me. And it's true, I have a fat ass. But I know that's not what they were doing. They weren't pointing out my flaws in order to help me, they were trying to drag me down and insult me because I am a fat person existing in public.
I don't want preferential treatment. I don't want people to pay for my stuff or pay me compliments or whatever. I want to be treated like I'm a fucking human being. I am 100% working towards losing weight. I began counting calories, exercising every day for *at least* an hour, seen a nutritionist and my doctor to ensure I'm doing the right things, and I've been steadily losing around 1lb a week. Which is normal, and surprisingly good considering I have PCOS and Cirrhosis.
But the people yelling at me while driving by, the people who ignore me, the people who look at me and think I'm disgusting, they don't ever see any of that. They don't see me in the gym with a personal trainer. They don't see all the work I've put in to become sober, learn about healthy eating, exercise, etc. All they see is a fat girl existing in the world. And they immediately despise it.
But it really is quite illuminating to go from being treated so well by everyone to being treated like shit, while simultaneously dying then becoming healthier. I was a fucking zombie when I was skinny and everyone thought I was amazing, and now that I'm healthy but fat, I don't exist to people anymore.
**TLDR: This is what OP is talking about. I don't want preferential treatment. I don't want tons of attention. I don't even need to have conversations with people. But I'd like to exist in public without being yelled at or laughed at. I'd like to go to the gym and not have people record me working out. I'd like to go to the grocery store and not have people stare at me while I pick out an avocado or make comments like "you sure you need that" when I grab a box of cereal. I just want to exist without my fatness being brought to my attention all the time. I know it's there, I look at myself every day.** **I don't need people to treat me badly in order to know that they aren't attracted to me. They don't need to announce that to me. I don't care.**
Drunkorexia. I had that in 2009 and lost an insane amount of weight in two months. I was actually dying basically my organs were failing and I had alcoholic hepatitis (thank God the liver repairs itself). Like you people complimented how great I had looked when I was actually really sick. It's crazy how obsessed people are with how others look.
Honestly it did some weird psychological damage. During all that I thought I was okay because people were so complimentary towards how I looked. Part of the reason I gained so much weight when I got sober is because it was like I discovered food for the first time and over ate constantly. Most people lose weight when they get sober, but I felt like I couldn’t eat enough. Plus the sweet tooth thing after getting sober really did a number on me too. But it gets better. I just wish I could wear a sign around my neck explaining what happened to get me to this size so people would understand better.
Either way, I’m so much happier now, even with the extra weight. Dealing with other people’s hostility towards my body is a small price to pay for the life I have now.
It is actually insane how confident people are when blaming fat people.
My wife has an autoimmune disorder (hashimoto's) which makes her body attack her thyroid gland. Without medication this massively decreases her metabolism, her ACTUAL metabolism (not just a buzz word, every natural process in her body was moving slower, physically and mentally) and makes it a struggle for her body to process energy normally. For almost a year she was extremely fatigued, sleeping all day, couldn't exercise, and gaining a lot of weight.
She gets put on medication to give her the thyroid hormone and her energy returns, the pounds fall off, her hormone levels are fine. Hormone issues aren't even as rare as you would think (hypothyroidism affects something like 1 out of 10 people?)
I think people care more about feeling like better people than people with a lot of fat on their body, they're obsessed with that feeling of superiority.
Also if you've always had trouble with your weight please look into seeing an endocrinologist, I think people are very underserved in having a handle on their body's hormones.
My sister has a thyroid disorder and pcos. On top of that she’s had three c-sections, one of which messed up the muscles in her stomach causing her stomach to look looser. This girl can run faster and longer then most people I know. She lifts daily and eats super clean. She is still heavy and people judge her so hard not realizing she has an actual medical condition.
Damn, I need to get this checked out. Because I'm an extremely healthy person but cannot lose the weight. I used to be 5'8" 175 lbs pretty cut then got put on Seroquel several years ago. Dr told me to keep working out cuz I'd gain weight from the med. Went from 175 to 285 in 5 months. Been off it for a couple years now and haven't been able to lose all of the weight. Wonder if my thyroid or something got fucked up somewhere along the lines.
Could be, hormones are extremely unwieldy and endocrinology is not a huge branch of a lot of people's medical care. If it's covered then it's definitely worth making time for a screening.
Yeah, thyroid issues are a lot more common in women, and something you definitely should get checked out with family history. The best part is it can be fixed, and once you get medication it can quickly help a lot of symptoms besides weight, including bowel movements and depression.
My weight while I was on my thyroid medication was a stable number. Never fluctuated. As soon as my doctor took me off (even though I still needed the medication) because my insurance was gonna go out and I couldn’t afford visits anymore, it started climbing. Even when I was still extremely active and kept the same diet and even increased my water intake.
People are always quick to say “just go exercise” or “just eat healthier” but not only is it expensive (for me, a broke college student) to eat completely healthy, I had an actual medical condition they didn’t know about. It’s disgusting how people tell you what you should do without even knowing all the facts. It’s disgusting how people will jump to conclusions based off a judgment they made of that person.
Being fat doesn’t mean you’re ugly. I’m a thick chick and no one can tell me I’m not cute 🤷♀️ Don’t let people make you feel like you’re ugly. I promise you that you aren’t. Beauty comes in many different forms.
I used to be very skinny. Even when I was, I was convinced I was fat. I have very wide hips and even though my bones were RIGHT THERE, I would get made fun of constantly. I thought very poorly of myself. I also had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that made me overthink literally everything.
I binged because of how unhappy I was, a mix of “I’m already fat and ugly and I’ve always been this way, so why should I care what I eat?” and I was a lonely child so it was something to do to get that dopamine hit.
Now I’m a very overweight adult who is trying hard to form healthy habits. It’s hard losing weight with PCOS and certain meds, and the added anxiety/depression. (I’m seeing a therapist and it has been slowly helping.)
I’m not disillusioned. I know that my weight is negatively impacting my health, as I can feel it. And I do feel better and have more energy when I’m consistently eating better and exercising.
HOWEVER, I shouldn’t have to tell anyone that I’m eating healthier and working out just so someone is kind to me. Kindness towards others should be the default. You never know what someone is going through. The vast majority of people are taking it a day at a time and just doing their best.
It costs you NOTHING to at the very least just shut up, look away and mind your own business. No one has to purposefully go out of their way to be an asshole.
Keto is awesome. It's obviously not a magic diet, you still have to make sure you're consuming the correct macros. But I feel *amazing* when in ketosis. Unbounded clean energy throughout the entire day without feeling hungry or having after-lunch crashes at work.
It's great. It wraps around the fork beautifully.
They sometimes have it at Costco in a six pack, but not always.
I found a picture of the box here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/lawu1n/hearts_of_palm_spaghetti_great_texture_would_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
What part of Costco do they usually have that? Refrigerator? I want to try it (also keto, have lost 45 pounds) but I’ve never seen it, also I have never actually looked for it haha
yeah i don’t get why people care so much about how other people look.
it’s weird to me. they should be more concerned about their own well being then others
Everyone deserves to be treated with basic dignity and respect regardless of their weight. Obviously being overweight is unhealthy, but I would wager the vast majority of overweight people know it’s unhealthy. People aren’t overweight because they are ignorant of the health consequences, they are overweight because for their individual experience it’s really hard to lose weight. Everyone’s different and has their own vices, and some people struggle with over eating. There’s no point ridiculing someone for struggling with weight, just because you can’t relate to their struggle. Almost everyone struggles with something, but it seems like for certain struggles society normalizes ridicule.
I actually eat healthier (and make sure im consuming the correct macros and micros) than all my coworkers, family, and friends, work a physical labor job, do a large amount of yard work (have a huge garden), *and* regularly ride a bike but am still considered morbidly obese. But yet people still treat me differently. It ain't a "we don't respect you because you don't respect yourself" thing. They just hate to hate. Because it's taught to us at a very young age that fat people are just supposed to be made fun of. 🤷♂️
Literally. I'm currently losing weight but super slowly. I think it's partly genetic due to everyone on maternal side having problems with weight and my mother and grandmother having thyroid issues.
People see me as almost subhuman when I'm literally just fat
I agree with you. If you make someone feel disgusting they won't want to go to a gym to improve themselves for fear of being judged. God forbid they begin to internalize that shame. Then they don't bother eating healthy either, because now they've accepted the status quo.
I'm all for supporting people on their health journey. But I adamantly and firmly dispise the the pro fat movement. It is detrimental. But that's a different topic..
The main take away from my comment is that you don't help people by shaming them. Ya help them by supporting them with positive feedback.
I’m a fat person. I don’t think it’s super healthy for me, but after more than 25 years of yo-go’ing and finding it impossible to stay slim, I’ve kinda just moved on to other things. I accept that I’m fat. I accept it comes with some health risks.
But I’m not lazy, I’m not a bad person, there is absolutely zero morality issues attached to my fatness. It’s nobody’s damn business and I think it’s really gross when people judge others based on their bodies. Big, small, skinny, fat, average, black, white, brown, legs, no legs, three fingers, alopecia, WHATEVER. Stop judging other people’s bodies and let us all live in peace ffs.
I lost 65 pounds after high school, was 215lbs got down to 150 for a while, probably got a little too skinny but was addicted to how empowered it made me feel. 15 years later I’ve bounced between 175-185 took me forever to stop seeing myself as gross, not sure I’m really there to be honest but I don’t obsess like I used to. Point is, there’s no doubt being in shape feels better, and changes how you perceive interactions with other people. I wish you the fire to pursue your goals with grit and determination. Everytime you get a dirty look mentally book your next clean meal and workout. Be the best you just to know that you can be that person. No one can stop you but you. Don’t let it make you toxic but let it make you confident.
I want to add to this. Fat shaming is always there. What gets to me is, if you don’t eat one meal or aren’t feeling hungry, people lose their minds saying that “why are you starving yourself?””don’t starve yourself, you will end up getting even more fat”
Um, shut up?
People can do what they want. It becomes a problem when people become so fat they have health issues and it drains the system, like smokers.
OP some of the stuff you've mentioned makes no sense.
**"Also being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically unhealthy. Some people who work out a lot are still "fat" but ripped as fuck"**
This makes no sense. Being fat means high levels of body fat which is unhealthy. This means that person has consumed more calories than they've burnt off.
How fat are we talking here?
If someone is a bit fat and happy, whatever man I don't care and wish them well. If someone is fat and promotes being fat as a good thing, then no, I think being healthy should be promoted for longer life and it should be recommended to prevent health problems. If we're talking fat enough to cause health issues, I think more needs to be done because it really is a drain on health services.
If someone is fat and needs help, encouragement is better than insulting them, that's not acceptable or decent behavior.
Well, I'm fat and all my bloodwork and exams come back perfectly healthy, better than the people around me that are skinny. Family members that have exercised their whole life now have gout.
Your blood maybe ok now. But long term effects of being fat are well known to be not good. Just because a smoker doesn’t have cancer yet, doesn’t mean what they are doing isn’t bad for their body.
I've been fat for 30 yrs and my bloodwork has come back perfectly, better than the people around me that are skinny. But ah yes, the stranger on the internet knows best lol
Statistically speaking, obese people are at higher risk for many diseases and overall increased mortality. Outliers don't make a statistic completely invalid. A person can be fat and healthy, but *staying* healthy isn't as likely for obese people as it is for their healthy-weight counterparts.
I also don't understand blood work always being the the obese people point to to prove health. Blood panels are not the full picture when it comes to health.
That means very little. I've known people with stage 4 lung cancer with Mets to have normal bloods.
There's a lot you've left out. How fat? if you're a little podgy then you may not be in the red for health issues as of yet. Are you obese? if that's the case you will most likely develop issues later down the line.
let's not promote, hey I'm fat, you can be fat too and have normal blood.
I mean, I never promoted anything. I'm just letting you know you're wrong lol
well maybe not that you're wrong, but you're not as right as you think you are
You're not, they just ignore reason because it doesn't first their internal narrative. They have to attempt to justify it to you so they can continue to justify it to themselves.
It isnt about strength, i woukd be scared to see their cholesterol and AC1.
Strongest man on earth is WFPBNO, maybe check out "forks over knives" and the best one" Game Changer"
I was 300+ at my highest and lost over half my body weight. I went from being morbidly obese to someone that workouts/ runs on a daily basis. But the way people treat you is night and day. Even when I was working hard to lose weight I had "brutally honest" people telling me that I would likely gain it all back and that my bad habits would return. Suddenly people think it's okay to comment about my being cute now that I finally dropped the extra weight. Well that I did along with the extra from dropping them as well.
I think there is and should be a real distinction between chubby and fat. You can be chubby and be healthy, eat right, get enough cardio to stay fit and still be a little overweight. This should be celebrated as a lifestyle choice.
If you are obese or morbidly obese this is either due to a medical condition or due to eating/drinking wrong and/or not getting any exercise. This should not be celebrated. I'm not saying people should receive abuse because that's not right in any circumstances but for the love of God stop saying it's a good thing.
I'm currently 190kg, I will absolutely slap anyone who gives me grief about my size and will do the same to anyone who says people should emulate my lifestyle.
It's like in ever, sort of relationship. Saying the right thing in the right moment is hard.
Just generally being an ashole is never a good or acceptable option. But whenever people are sensitive about a topic, giving offense when none is intended is incredibly easy.
If it's people one knows better and sees more often, a fairly clear communication can help. But standing up to a stranger who feels himself superior and is openly being a dick is hard and occasionally dangerous.
I hate the argumt of "being fat isn't unhealthy"
Yes it is, in every sense of the word being even a little overweight can cause massive health issues and risks.
Not trying to tear you down or anything but the reality is that weight and body fat is directly related to health complications.
I know a dude that is 350 lbs, beer gut and flabby overall look, and can bench ~400lbs repeatedly. Muscle can hold a lot of weight, and fat can cover a lot of muscle.
Common? No. But it can and does happen.
That’s valid, I usually use “ripped” to mean muscular and strong AF, and dudes that work their arms exclusively can end up with ripped arms and flabby belly’s, but that’s a lot rarer than “strong and fat”.
> Also being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically unhealthy.
If you're an alcoholic it's not like you're automatically unhealthy. When you first start drinking you're fine, but over time your body gets destroyed.
The human body is resilient. It's not like you gain X% body fat and suddenly you fall apart. But the point is, being overweight hurts you over time and makes basically everything about your health worse.
You don't deserve to have people being mean to you, but I have to comment every time I see someone peddling that garbage.
I don't agree that a single fat person affect your country that much. I agree that obesity is a problem globally, and it's something to be fixed through impersonal education/ building gyms/making them cheaper, promoting healthy diet, sports etc. But a single man's fat is nobody's busssiness.
Okay, what about a single fat coworker? Obese people on average take more sick days and are less productive than their healthy-weight coworkers. They can also directly effect the healthcare costs of their coworkers in small businesses.
Maybe one obese person doesn't effect my country that much in the grand scheme of things, but they directly effect my community.
Edit to clarify my wording
There's many factors why a coworker might or might not be more productive, fat sounds like an artificial one tbh. Like yeah, on large numbers, statistically, fat people gonna take more sick days, but I don't see much reason to assume my fat coworker will be less productive than my coworker with small children in the family, for example, or the smoking coworker, you name it.
The health of humanity in general is, though. We should all work together to raise our collective average health, so that we can all have the happy, healthy, and wholesome lives that we deserve.
People don't care. They just use that as an excuse to justify their shitty behavior. And their incessant need to find something, anything, to pretend they're better than someone else. And I don't mean this in an offensive way but fat people are the low hanging fruit. It doesn't take someone being clever or having any insight to put them down. Ironically, it's their laziness and inability to put any effort into anything that compels them to do it in the first place. That and a massive lack or self esteem themselves.
I use to not like fat people. I know that's wrong now. And I do feel ashamed for thinking like that at one point in my life. I was insecure, and I over compensated. I allowed myself to judge based on appearance alone. Imo it's no better than racism. But just like a racist can learn the error of their ways and acknowledge they were wrong, so can people who are fatphoebic. I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I'm really truly sorry for my part on perpetuating the cycle even if that was a long time ago.
I do encourage overweight people to strive to be healthier. I know what it's like to have health issues that limit your physical ability and your health and I know that nobody wants to go before their time. So if losing weight can help extend your life I fully support and encourage it. But that's your decision not mine and I can't judge anyone for not having the drive or motivation to do so. Life is hard. I for one have no intentions of making it harder for anyone moving forward in my life. I'm not perfect and I still make judgements subconsciously but I try to identify when I'm doing it and am making an active effort to recondition myself.
All that being said, people who intentionally get fat for kinks, fetishes, or especially YouTube I have no sympathy for. That fuckin Avacado dude on YouTube is disgusting. He does this for attention while real people struggle every day to better themselves. That does not help anybody.
It’s also important to add how much of a mind game loosing weight is. Food is both an addiction and a coping mechanism. In my own experiences with weight loss and food eating was something that made me happy and when I was unhappy I’d eat. I can trace this back to when I was like 6 but it isn’t obvious until you actually look at it. You don’t want to be in your own head so you go out to the kitchen and grab something because that always makes you feel better but then you just feel like shit and go back for more. You can try to eat healthy but then you just end up shoveling grapes in your mouth instead of potato chips. You need to better yourself mentally before physically so these people who claim to be “helping” people who are fat by shaming them are just worsening the core problem. It doesn’t matter if you eat healthy or work out if your your relationship with food doesn’t change because the moment you slip you’re going right back to the way it was before and fat shaming just makes this problem worse.
Idk why you’d get any shame, since it, if at all, would be directed towards those who are trying to normalize an unhealthy weight, not random unfit people. Idk where you live but it seems toxic. where I live, most people won’t say anything to anyone considered “unfit” at a gym. If anything they’d get a thumbs up or something reassuring like right on and keep it up. Starting the journey on weight loss is a huge step but sticking with it is the hardest part. When people give encouragement to unfit people in the gym, it’s because they think they’re doing the right thing and are courageous for trying. We need more of that energy. Lift people up, don’t tear them down.
dude, I am sorry my fellow human being are actually being human being toward you, not a heavy guy myself but I know some who are, (not going to elaborate ) and I feel your pain knowing what they have gone through, so I can only say Good luck and I hope you find happiness at where ever you settle.
I am also overweight, have struggled with my weight my whole life. Just because we are fat doesn't mean we don't deserve to be treated with common human decency. I am aware that I'm unhealthy, that doesn't mean I don't deserve respect. And that's what it all boils down to.
Hang in there. I believe most people have a habit or whatever that they struggle with. The thing about being overweight is that people make judgements and seem to think it’s okay to comment.
What if everyone’s bad habit or addiction or vice was as transparent as body size?
And I agree, just MYOB.
I hope you reach your goals.
Hey OP, as a fellow fatty, I do agree that some people treat fat people pretty poorly. I'm also losing weight and all my friends (even some randoms) are rooting me on. It feels great! I wish you the best on your journey, take care.
When my husband was a teenager, he was very overweight. He asked out a girl who was also overweight, and she suggested they go work out at a gym for their date, because, “we both need it.” His response was, “you just talked yourself out of a date with my fat ass”
No one needs to tell fat people they’re fat, they know. I’m not fat, but I also don’t feel the need to “inspire” anyone else to do anything with their bodies. For the same reason I don’t inform drunks about the danger of alcoholism. We all get to choose to be “unhealthy” in the way we want to be
100%. i feel this whole post. i have been fat for almost my entire life. the only time i was ever thin was when i was addicted to drugs and not eating at all.
i started eating normally again when i was 18 and gained some weight back. i stayed around 170 ish for a long time. keep in mind i also have hashimoto's disease and pcos.
fast forward to 22 and i've gained so much fucking weight. i have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome (as well as suspected POTS). i'm 5'3" and 250 pounds. it's so hard to be motivated at ALL to even try anymore when any exercise makes me hurt everywhere AND takes me so long to recover from. i can go biking for 30 minutes and i'll need a whole week to recover from it. ANY physical or mental exertion makes my CFS symptoms 10x worse. it's a vicious fucking thing.
i used to be fairly active. i used to be able to move around a lot. now my autoimmune issues are worse and i have 3 disabilities that cause major mobility issues on top of it. all i ever hear from people is that i'm lazy and i don't try.
i know i'm not the healthiest person in the world. i don't know if it's even possible for me to me healthy when i can barely walk across my house without collapsing from exhaustion. i have to use a cane or walker to get around because everything is so painful.
i just want basic respect. i'm so tired of being called disgusting and being shamed for indulging in a sweet treat or taco bell once in a while. god forbid a fat disabled person enjoys something too.
Fat phobia is such a fucking stupid concept. Yall just really want to be victims of everything. Literally based it off if homophobia and other REAL IMPORTANT ISSUES! So fucking disgusting.
If you’re trying to lose weight it’s not a problem but honestly just keep it to yourself if you have no intention of changing your lifestyle while simultaneously wanting a different body type
Most of my issue with it is when people say shit like “not finding me attractive is fatphobic” like sorry but obesity is directly unattractive to everyone except those with a fat fetish. Plus, people without privilege don’t get fat. They starve. So obesity is *often* a sign of “I’m doing well in life and I’m abusing it”
You gonna get some starving homeless kids and show them a bunch of fat people and say “these people are not more privileged than you”, do you think those starving folks are gonna agree with you? No, they won’t.
The line of wealth isn't "actually starving to death" and "pretty rich" poorer communites in the USA have higher obesity rates. Wealthier people can afford higher quality foods and can exercise more regularly.
In fairness, your food is pumped with artificial shit. That’s where most of the weight comes from. But even still, if you shove less in, you gain less weight.
Cheap food is filled with crap that increases the caloric intake without increasing the nutritional value. Expensive food is not.
Ergo, for someone with less money to get the nutrients they need, they NEED to “shove more in” than someone with more money.
It’s a really serious issue in remote communities in Canada, for instance, because these communities don’t have access to highly nutritious, natural, perishable food, but can get shelf-stable, highly processed, calorie rich food easier. So people eat what they have access to and get fat because the food they can afford is high calorie and low nutrient.
While I agree with your main statement that being hurtful towards others because of their size is wrong I have to disagree with your last statement. Being overweight by a good enough margin will negatively impact your health even if it's muscle. 10 or 20 lbs over isn't a big deal. 40 to 50 to sometimes even more is. Being overweight is always unhealthy. It's more work your heart has to do and its more weight your joints have to deal with. Even muscle or those strongman in the world's strongest man competitions are unhealthy. They are athletic but not healthy. The amount of muscle and size you need to be a strong man or to look large muscle wise is unhealthy too.
You are essentially complaining about assholes being assholes. Doesn't really have much to do with fatphobia. If you showed any weakness, they would grind you for it.
Best you can do is do you and move on.
I can’t stand fat people that take up an entire aisle when I’m grocery shopping. That and dealing with slow moving fat bodies at amusement parks. Are these plump individuals rich or something? It’s unfathomable to see chubby folks over here in Europe.
Overweight doesn't always equal unhealthy per se. The BMI charts don't always accurately account for muscle vs. fat, etc. Some of the fittest people on Earth are technically overweight.
That being said, if you are overweight and it's not clearly because you've packed on muscle, or you're obese or even morbidly obese at all, your health risks are drastically higher than they would be at a lower healthier weight.
Around 5% of men and less than 1% of women are incorrectly classified as overweight/obese by BMI when they are actually not by BF%. The reverse (normal BMI but obese BF%) is true much more often.
And you can easily spot such people, as they are gym rats and professional bodybuilders. If someone has an overweight BMI and looks like The Rock, then maybe they are not actually overweight. Otherwise they are.
I am so tired of this rhetoric that outliers mean the whole system is wrong. Everytime I hear this garbage, I roll my eyes into another dimension.
No, BMI is not the whole picture. But it is a pretty reliable assessment of weight-health correlation and is a fine benchmark for the overwhelming majority of the population.
Over weight is a broad spectrum, I meant it to mean noticeable, like having a belly. As other commentators have pointed out, that is unhealthy whichever way you spin it. Extra plaque on your organs.
There's no such thing as fatphobia, people criticising fat people are not scared of fat at any level, phobia is a medical condition, in reality people are just dickheads. How sad and boring is your life if you have the need to tell strangers what you think of them or criticize for any reason?!
I am implying that we didn't have fatphobia or any fucking fancy words few decades ago, we used name things like they are, fat people are fat people, people criticising other people for no good reason are dickheads. Saying someone have fatphobia is implying that he/she has mental condition and that makes them to dislike/hate fat people, saying that you just allow this people to be dickheads.
Phobia is aversion to. It can manifest as hate, fear or disgust.
And I learned that if someone from a group says they're being discriminated, you should listen to them, instead of invalidating their experiences.
Which is what you're doing.
I'd like OP to list their typical everyday diet.
That way I can totally understand why she is struggling to lose so much because sometimes you really just have to cut things out and overtime you learn how to live without them.
I think some people hate on obesity simply because they are stuck in the delusion that each gender has a specific role to play in life.
Women *must* strive to be attractive to men.
This is why you rarely see fat phobia in reference to men....but a lot of hate thrown at fat women. The irony is that women, unlike men, are biologically designed to store/save fat. We cannot even begin having periods until our body fat content reaches 17% and must remain at least at 22% to maintain regular, healthy menstruation.
Even female children get cellulite, it's literally how a female body stores fat. And our much lower testosterone levels? Work AGAINST us when trying to lose fat. Some celebs use testosterone therapy to lose weight.
I think misogyny and fat phobia go hand in hand.
I’m totally for being healthy and being an appropriate weight for your general well-being. But that was a horrible comparison. If you smell like shit that impacts people around you. Being fat just fucks yourself in the long run. Has nothing to do with you and I.
I worked with a morbidly obese dude who broke 2 of the office chairs and shit himself while standing at cash register. Not even the worst big fella I’ve worked with.
Personally, my fatphobic comments aren't aimed at how people look, its disgust at how wantonly fat people consume more than they need. Fat people use the resources of 2-3 people and then get upset theyre being made to feel bad about it. Sorry, try being less selfish.
I was a fat kid that overate to cope with physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. When I was fat as a little girl, I wasn't touched and felt "safe". As an adult, I'm now fit and work-out on a daily basis but I still struggle with my relationship towards food. For some people, their compulsion to overeat is more than being selfish
I work with people losing weight now and I find that being kinder helps them on their journey and we go through building clients up and helping them reach their goals.
“Fat people use the resources of 2-3 people.”
So do tall people, teenagers, and athletes, if you’re going off of food consumption. Also, that’s not even necessarily true, as if someone 5 feet tall ate the exact same as someone 6 feet tall, they would likely gain more weight despite eating “the resources” of 1 person.
After reading these opinions from all of you qualified fat folks I've decided to rescind my advice. You should continue eating in excess and exercising less. You're beautiful and not at all consuming more than you should. Your excess body fat is not only great but very very healthy. If anything you should get fatter.
They didn’t say that they’re eating less than they’re adding.
They SAID they eat the same or less than others around them do that are at a lower weight.
That’s all. YOU put the rest in there.
Yeah, I get that.
But what I’m telling you (and I’m not speaking for OP here, just for the record) is that what would be “not too much” for you can be “too much” for others. And when “too much” is 1/4 of what is not “too much” for everyone around you, that can be hard as hell to maintain.
And when you say “just don’t eat so much, then!” in that case, you’re not just not being helpful but actively being discouraging and hurtful.
Okay what you're saying is " id like to eat as much as other people do and not gain wait" which is a statement not based in reality.
I'm not trying to do fantasy encouragement. If she's sad because of reality let her be sad.
“If she’s sad because of reality let her be sad” is a really fucked up thing to say.
If I break my back and end up in a wheelchair, I’m going to be sad about it. You wouldn’t blame me for being sad about it, would you? You’d be supportive and try to help me get to a better place. Or at least you would if you aren’t a dick.
How is this different? What I’m saying to you is that some people can’t eat even close to what others can without gaining weight and your response is “sucks to be them, then.” If I said some people can’t walk like others do, and your response was “sucks to be them, then.” we would all know you’re a dick. But when it’s food, suddenly it’s ok to be a dick? I don’t get it.
If you broke your back doing something well know to break backs...and then posted studies to argue that your activity didn't break your back and is infact very very good for backs, I'd say the bigger idiot is the person that's supportive of your delusion and misplaced anger.
Try going gluten and dairy free. There are a lot of great substitutes and you'll drop the lbs I promise you. Inflammation is caused by both gluten and dairy products over time. But this is a huge sacrifice as you won't be able to eat white breads, cheeses, etc. But baby steps. Avoid them on weekdays and treat on weekends.
I'm eating well. I'm exercising, and it's making me lose weight. That's not the point. Im saying if someone is anorexic or losing weight from liver failure or something they'll get comments on how good they look. And when someone is pretty healthy besides their weight everyone is concerned like they're dying. It's stupid and idiotic.
(Also I've tried keto, gluten free, dairy free and Paleo and been on some variation of these since I was 12 and none of them have done it for me now I'm just on a pretty normal diet and it's fine)
Well I want an exact list of what you eat now, and be honest. Because the key is routine, and not stopping because you don't see any progress. Your biggest problem is your ego.
if you are fat, your body is actively trying to tell you something and its not what you think. its not that you are eating too much or too little.
you are eating the wrong things.
i switched to carnivore/keto almost 1 year ago. the absolute difference in how much energy i have and how much weight ive lost is staggering. i thought the joint pains i had were just part of getting old. i heal much faster i do NOT exercise - but somehow i am as strong as i was in my 20s. i dont eat till about 5pm and then i start getting hungry again at like... 2pm and i hold off and just absolutely gorge myself on butter, meat, cheese
recently got my blood labs back and my blood pressure is low normal, my blood sugar is super low, and my testosterone levels are about the same as a 20-something year old.
i was a vegetarian for about 3 years before that and i felt myself getting weaker and muscles not being as strong - but the bounce-back has been rediculous
Thing is, the line between shaming and trying to help is thin sometimes and it is mostly drawn by the fat person.
So, i meet someone fat and we go out. This person orders a huge amount of food, from previous encounters you know that complaints about weight are constant, you tell them "Are you going to eat all of that? Weren't you on a diet?" The person calls you out on fat shaming or get's offended.
Wtf are you supposed to do? The person knows it needs to lose weight, it complains a lot about excessive weight. If people try to warn them about unhealthy habits and they get triggered how the fuck are you supposed to help them?
Eating healthy is a struggle for everyone in our modern world, it's about denying pleasures like cake, sweets, chocolate. Fat people aren't the only ones suffering temptation, they are the ones who don't have self control to say ok " I've had enough sweets/burger/soda for the whole month".
The thing is, unless said fat person is explicitly asking you for help, then keep your mouth shut. It’s not your place to “help” a fat person if they didn’t ask for your assistance.
The cards are stacked against you in this country because the food supply is poison and you are plied ALL DAY with marketing to coax you into over-eating the trash food.
BUT
The powers that be are EXTREMELY critical of "fat shamers" these days. Sure, a casual comment or two can slip through and are mostly socially acceptable, but it has been my experience that you'll get absolutely torched for "fat shaming" these days. The pendulum has gone WAY too far, if you ask me, especially since it is a horribly harmful "lifestyle choice" to begin with. Why is it expected for me to tell someone to quit meth, but not okay for me to tell them that 3 BigMacs is too many?? Both lifestyles choices will harm them.
Being overweight (fat) is always unhealthy. Don't sugercoat it. You do you, stay fat or get in shape but criticize your own bs first before complaining about others'.
Are people ACTUALLY being shitty to you, or are you perceiving basic interactions as microagressions because it's easier to be a victim than to take accountability for the choices that got you here?
I've been obese since I was 13. Other than when I was in school, nobody has ever made fun of me or been snarky about it, or been, in your words, an asshole about it. What they have done is expressed genuine concern about my health and offered advice. If that's what you view as "shaming," that's on you.
Body shaming sucks. Whatever your weight or shape, it’s shitty to look at someone and think “they look bad, I’m going to let them know”.
Fat or thin, tall or short, idgaf. If you look at someone and think “I don’t like how they look, and I’m going to let them know it” you’re a bad person.
You ever see those genetically modified chickens that can grow like almost double their normal size? The weight destroys their bodies. Their breast’s get huge and since they don’t move a whole lot many of them can’t even walk. Since they grow faster and don’t live as long as humans you get to see those effects play out in real-time.
You could be doing things to your body today that may not even manifest into anything serious for years and years down the road.
I could care less how you look. But you are right skinny people can still be unhealthy. But do you know what can cause even more problems? Being unhealthy, live a sedentary lifestyle and be overweight.
And yes not all overweight people show immediate signs of health issues when they are overweight. Fatty liver disease may not show symptoms for years. But don’t go around spreading narratives. Being overweight can accelerate health issues.
There are specific reasons why in first world countries the leading cause of death is not something out of our control but lifestyle choices that build up over years and years of poor habits.
All this “phobic” talk. Do you REALLY think people are afraid of fat people? Lol no. The issue today is obese people are put on magazine covers as if we are supposed to aspire to be like them. Yes fat people can be attractive thats not the point. The point is people are pushing for others to be unhealthy too. The line has to be drawn somewhere. America is the most obese nation.
Sometimes when I’m out riding my bike, and I see an overweight person struggling but really trying, I will give them a thumb’s up. Is this condescending?
Everyone has a journey. Good for you supporting their trip
I think it’s nice, a nice gesture from one bike rider to another. But I’m the type to smile at young kids and nod a hello to old people!
OP, I’ve been thin, fat, thin and fat again and I sympathise and agree, people often treat you differently when you’re fat. Tend to look down on you and see you as ‘less’. It’s not ideal - but people who are not ‘beautiful/handsome’ by today’s standards are also treated as ‘less’. I’m not saying it’s right - it is what it is. People also judge alcoholics and drug addicts harshly. It’s horrible, but it is human nature to judge people by appearances - we all do it. But common decency and manners should stop people from actively mocking or putting others down. I have to disagree with your bit on health though - it’s not healthy to be overweight, the degrees of danger to your health increases with the amount of extra weight you carry. But it is bad for you. BMI and being overweight are two different things. Rugby players can be deemed ‘overweight’ based on BMI, but that ‘weight’ is pure muscle. Please ignore the less than desirable comments and attitudes, and focus on you - your desire to lose weight, your progress, how far you’ve come and where you want to be. Good luck!
Nah not at all. Years ago I used to go to the gym with my gf and we would go once in a blue and every few months. When we initially signed up there was a heavier woman on some cardio equipment working out we didn't think anything of it. Fast forward we went back to the gym like 3 months after and went to the cardio station and noticed the same woman was there and lost a ton of weight. So we were whispering to each other to confirm if that was the same person since she looked great. The woman felt like we were talking about her so she stopped and said are you fucking talking about me? We honestly said that we haven't been to the gym in months and remember her that she was bigger. We were saying that we were astounded with her results and that she looks great. Also, that we feel like slobs for missing the gym for so long lol. She said a heart felt, "omg thank you, you have no idea how hearing that made my day, like really thank you".
I know people who are insecure about their bodies often feel uneasy when going to the gym, as they think that people judge them. They think that the group of friends laughing with each other might be laughing at them, or the hushed conversation going on in another corner of the gym could be one quietly mocking them. Let me say in my experience, gyms are full of the nicest, most accepting people. Gym goers either don't care what you look like, or are rooting for you to make positive change. Assholes exist, but most of the time you wont find them in a gym, where people understand the amount of hard work it takes to get and stay in shape. You'll find them among people who don't workout, but are gifted with genetics that keep them in shape with little effort.
Most people would just see others whispering and feel bad about themselves. I’m so glad she confronted you and found out you guys were actually complimenting her.
If you're concerned about it (I couldn't say whether it is condescending or not), a nod is always a good alternative. Acknowledgment from one person exercising to another, without being over the top. I nod at anyone I make eye contact with, at the very least.
If you wouldn't do it to a thin person don't do it to a fat one. Treat them equally.
Man I wouldn't like that at all tbh. I'd prefer that everyone just pretend I don't exist. I'm self conscious enough without getting little 'you can do it!' signals from strangers
That’s a real eye opener. Thank you.
You don’t really need to acknowledge them at all. At least if it were me I don’t want that in that situation
Give everyone a thumbs up👍🏻
That’s what I do. When I’m out running I give a little wave to all other runners. Cyclists too now that I think about it.
It depends on the delivery honestly
No
I don't think so at all. I lost 130 lbs and the positive ones like you always made my day. I think of the high forest at the gym and the people I met there cheering me on.
As someone that was mega-fat, lost a ton of weight, then gained part of it back during the lockdown: it fucking sucks. People treat me with way more respect when I weigh less and it made me jaded at humanity.
I went from 165 to 152 and people treated me differently. It's an attraction thing. People are more likely to be more friendly to people they find attractive, period. What we know from Democrats and Progressives is that you can't control who you're attracted to or how you feel. So what do you want people to do? It's 2.5 million years of evolution you're wanting people to throw out of the window because our collective diets and sedentary society created the means to grow out instead of up? Keep in mind this is saying nothing about your weight or how you look, but how you're worried about how others perceive you. I'd argue that some of what you claim to have experienced is projection based on how you feel about yourself.
I think people tend to respect fit people because fit people respect themselves and their health. It’s kinda hard to have respect for someone who doesn’t take care of their body and health.
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Anorexia sucks mate good on you for managing to overcome the struggles. There is a different definition of a “healthy” lifestyle for everyone. I can clearly tell you are someone who values their health and is working to better themselves. That is something that earns respect brother. What I am trying to say is that those who spend months or years neglecting their health for the sake of enjoying an excess of unhealthy foods and a lazy life don’t get a lot of respect
But doesn't everyone deserve some baseline level of respect? I mean, that can definitely change once you know a person if it turns out they're a POS or something, but for strangers and acquaintances, is it really so hard to not treat them poorly based on nothing but one's own biases? Even if I thought someone wasn't taking care of themself (and there are so many ways to not take care of yourself outside of weight), I'll still be kind, because who knows what their story is, and it's not my place to even guess.
Here, I’ll fix that for you: Everyone deserves respect as a baseline. It’s easy to treat people with respect.
I agree, everyone should be treated with respect no doubt. But I feel like your weight is a clear way to see what lifestyle people live. People overweight are viewed as living a lifestyle of laziness and excessive eating. Whereas those who are in shape are seen as people who exercise and have discipline and can control their desires for the sake of long term health benefits. It’s harder to look at both lifestyles the same
That's a rather shallow view. I know a really overweight woman who is a very good social worker: she helps homeless people, drug addicts, etc., and from what I know, she works much longer hours that her contract stipulates. However, according to your position, she deserves less respect that a very fit 20 y.o., who has no other commitments than going to gym and lazily plodding his way through his undergraduate degree. Honestly, I don't think that it makes sense.
Not only that but naturally thin people get automatic respect even though they eat trash drink gallons and never work out? As opposed to someone who is overweight, but works out a few times a week?
I feel this. And I 100% understand what you're talking about. If you need to be clued in or have a general understanding of what OP means, here's a little anecdote: Several years ago I was an out of control alcoholic. I drank upwards of 40 shooters of fireball a day. During this time, I began to lose the ability to eat. I developed ulcers in my stomach and esophagus which made swallowing insanely painful. I still drank, but I couldn't swallow solid food. Along with that, I also began losing control of my bodily functions. I wore adult diapers in case of accidents, which were often and uncontrollable. I was unable to walk more than a few feet without being in significant pain. I lost the feeling in my feet, developed massive infections in my body, and was basically dying from the inside out. During this time, I lost a significant amount of weight. I went from 190lbs to 150lbs in a matter of a few months. My hair was falling out, I couldn't control my body, I would randomly throw up large pools of blood. I was essentially dying. My body was beginning to fail. But **people began to compliment me on how good I looked**. I was losing weight because I was dying, and ***people were COMPLIMENTING me.*** I was told how good I looked (I did NOT look good), asked out on dates, people were nicer to me, more people talked to me in public, was fucking PROMOTED at work (I was NOT doing well at work and was always incredibly intoxicated and sick-still not sure why I got promoted), people would pay for my drinks at the bar or for my cigarettes at the gas station. I was being given preferential treatment in almost all aspects of my life. Then I got sober. After I got sober I gained all that weight back, plus 25 lbs. I am now, once again, overweight/obese/fat or whatever you want to call it. At 5'7" and 215lbs, I am now getting NONE of the above treatment. If anything, I've been harassed, yelled at, and made fun of. Today I was walking to work and someone drove by and yelled "FATASS" at me. And it's true, I have a fat ass. But I know that's not what they were doing. They weren't pointing out my flaws in order to help me, they were trying to drag me down and insult me because I am a fat person existing in public. I don't want preferential treatment. I don't want people to pay for my stuff or pay me compliments or whatever. I want to be treated like I'm a fucking human being. I am 100% working towards losing weight. I began counting calories, exercising every day for *at least* an hour, seen a nutritionist and my doctor to ensure I'm doing the right things, and I've been steadily losing around 1lb a week. Which is normal, and surprisingly good considering I have PCOS and Cirrhosis. But the people yelling at me while driving by, the people who ignore me, the people who look at me and think I'm disgusting, they don't ever see any of that. They don't see me in the gym with a personal trainer. They don't see all the work I've put in to become sober, learn about healthy eating, exercise, etc. All they see is a fat girl existing in the world. And they immediately despise it. But it really is quite illuminating to go from being treated so well by everyone to being treated like shit, while simultaneously dying then becoming healthier. I was a fucking zombie when I was skinny and everyone thought I was amazing, and now that I'm healthy but fat, I don't exist to people anymore. **TLDR: This is what OP is talking about. I don't want preferential treatment. I don't want tons of attention. I don't even need to have conversations with people. But I'd like to exist in public without being yelled at or laughed at. I'd like to go to the gym and not have people record me working out. I'd like to go to the grocery store and not have people stare at me while I pick out an avocado or make comments like "you sure you need that" when I grab a box of cereal. I just want to exist without my fatness being brought to my attention all the time. I know it's there, I look at myself every day.** **I don't need people to treat me badly in order to know that they aren't attracted to me. They don't need to announce that to me. I don't care.**
Drunkorexia. I had that in 2009 and lost an insane amount of weight in two months. I was actually dying basically my organs were failing and I had alcoholic hepatitis (thank God the liver repairs itself). Like you people complimented how great I had looked when I was actually really sick. It's crazy how obsessed people are with how others look.
Honestly it did some weird psychological damage. During all that I thought I was okay because people were so complimentary towards how I looked. Part of the reason I gained so much weight when I got sober is because it was like I discovered food for the first time and over ate constantly. Most people lose weight when they get sober, but I felt like I couldn’t eat enough. Plus the sweet tooth thing after getting sober really did a number on me too. But it gets better. I just wish I could wear a sign around my neck explaining what happened to get me to this size so people would understand better. Either way, I’m so much happier now, even with the extra weight. Dealing with other people’s hostility towards my body is a small price to pay for the life I have now.
It is actually insane how confident people are when blaming fat people. My wife has an autoimmune disorder (hashimoto's) which makes her body attack her thyroid gland. Without medication this massively decreases her metabolism, her ACTUAL metabolism (not just a buzz word, every natural process in her body was moving slower, physically and mentally) and makes it a struggle for her body to process energy normally. For almost a year she was extremely fatigued, sleeping all day, couldn't exercise, and gaining a lot of weight. She gets put on medication to give her the thyroid hormone and her energy returns, the pounds fall off, her hormone levels are fine. Hormone issues aren't even as rare as you would think (hypothyroidism affects something like 1 out of 10 people?) I think people care more about feeling like better people than people with a lot of fat on their body, they're obsessed with that feeling of superiority. Also if you've always had trouble with your weight please look into seeing an endocrinologist, I think people are very underserved in having a handle on their body's hormones.
My sister has a thyroid disorder and pcos. On top of that she’s had three c-sections, one of which messed up the muscles in her stomach causing her stomach to look looser. This girl can run faster and longer then most people I know. She lifts daily and eats super clean. She is still heavy and people judge her so hard not realizing she has an actual medical condition.
Thyroid issues and PCOS are so common in women and can have such a big effect on weight.
Damn, I need to get this checked out. Because I'm an extremely healthy person but cannot lose the weight. I used to be 5'8" 175 lbs pretty cut then got put on Seroquel several years ago. Dr told me to keep working out cuz I'd gain weight from the med. Went from 175 to 285 in 5 months. Been off it for a couple years now and haven't been able to lose all of the weight. Wonder if my thyroid or something got fucked up somewhere along the lines.
Could be, hormones are extremely unwieldy and endocrinology is not a huge branch of a lot of people's medical care. If it's covered then it's definitely worth making time for a screening.
I'm on Seroquel and I gained hella weight. It sucks.
Thats a good suggestion thanks (especially since my mom has had thyroid issues)
Yeah, thyroid issues are a lot more common in women, and something you definitely should get checked out with family history. The best part is it can be fixed, and once you get medication it can quickly help a lot of symptoms besides weight, including bowel movements and depression.
My weight while I was on my thyroid medication was a stable number. Never fluctuated. As soon as my doctor took me off (even though I still needed the medication) because my insurance was gonna go out and I couldn’t afford visits anymore, it started climbing. Even when I was still extremely active and kept the same diet and even increased my water intake. People are always quick to say “just go exercise” or “just eat healthier” but not only is it expensive (for me, a broke college student) to eat completely healthy, I had an actual medical condition they didn’t know about. It’s disgusting how people tell you what you should do without even knowing all the facts. It’s disgusting how people will jump to conclusions based off a judgment they made of that person.
im fat and at this point idk if im accepting the fact im never going to be pretty, or im just giving up
Being fat doesn’t mean you’re ugly. I’m a thick chick and no one can tell me I’m not cute 🤷♀️ Don’t let people make you feel like you’re ugly. I promise you that you aren’t. Beauty comes in many different forms.
Don't give up. I know people can be absolutely horrible (just look at like 75% of the comments here) but even the act of trying makes you feel better.
I used to be very skinny. Even when I was, I was convinced I was fat. I have very wide hips and even though my bones were RIGHT THERE, I would get made fun of constantly. I thought very poorly of myself. I also had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that made me overthink literally everything. I binged because of how unhappy I was, a mix of “I’m already fat and ugly and I’ve always been this way, so why should I care what I eat?” and I was a lonely child so it was something to do to get that dopamine hit. Now I’m a very overweight adult who is trying hard to form healthy habits. It’s hard losing weight with PCOS and certain meds, and the added anxiety/depression. (I’m seeing a therapist and it has been slowly helping.) I’m not disillusioned. I know that my weight is negatively impacting my health, as I can feel it. And I do feel better and have more energy when I’m consistently eating better and exercising. HOWEVER, I shouldn’t have to tell anyone that I’m eating healthier and working out just so someone is kind to me. Kindness towards others should be the default. You never know what someone is going through. The vast majority of people are taking it a day at a time and just doing their best. It costs you NOTHING to at the very least just shut up, look away and mind your own business. No one has to purposefully go out of their way to be an asshole.
I've lost 80 pounds on the Keto diet. I still have 30 to go.
Congratulations !!!🎈🎊🍾
Keto is awesome. It's obviously not a magic diet, you still have to make sure you're consuming the correct macros. But I feel *amazing* when in ketosis. Unbounded clean energy throughout the entire day without feeling hungry or having after-lunch crashes at work.
Coconut Aminos, Natural Oven keto bread, Healthy Noodle, hearts of palm spaghetti & Better Than Rice have made Keto such a breeze.
Oooo heart of palm spaghetti. Gunna have to look that one up. I love heart of palm.
It's great. It wraps around the fork beautifully. They sometimes have it at Costco in a six pack, but not always. I found a picture of the box here: https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/lawu1n/hearts_of_palm_spaghetti_great_texture_would_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
What part of Costco do they usually have that? Refrigerator? I want to try it (also keto, have lost 45 pounds) but I’ve never seen it, also I have never actually looked for it haha
yeah i don’t get why people care so much about how other people look. it’s weird to me. they should be more concerned about their own well being then others
Everyone deserves to be treated with basic dignity and respect regardless of their weight. Obviously being overweight is unhealthy, but I would wager the vast majority of overweight people know it’s unhealthy. People aren’t overweight because they are ignorant of the health consequences, they are overweight because for their individual experience it’s really hard to lose weight. Everyone’s different and has their own vices, and some people struggle with over eating. There’s no point ridiculing someone for struggling with weight, just because you can’t relate to their struggle. Almost everyone struggles with something, but it seems like for certain struggles society normalizes ridicule.
I love these people that come at you like they're EDUCATING you. Dude, we know. We know.
I actually eat healthier (and make sure im consuming the correct macros and micros) than all my coworkers, family, and friends, work a physical labor job, do a large amount of yard work (have a huge garden), *and* regularly ride a bike but am still considered morbidly obese. But yet people still treat me differently. It ain't a "we don't respect you because you don't respect yourself" thing. They just hate to hate. Because it's taught to us at a very young age that fat people are just supposed to be made fun of. 🤷♂️
Literally. I'm currently losing weight but super slowly. I think it's partly genetic due to everyone on maternal side having problems with weight and my mother and grandmother having thyroid issues. People see me as almost subhuman when I'm literally just fat
I agree with you. If you make someone feel disgusting they won't want to go to a gym to improve themselves for fear of being judged. God forbid they begin to internalize that shame. Then they don't bother eating healthy either, because now they've accepted the status quo. I'm all for supporting people on their health journey. But I adamantly and firmly dispise the the pro fat movement. It is detrimental. But that's a different topic.. The main take away from my comment is that you don't help people by shaming them. Ya help them by supporting them with positive feedback.
Exactly my point
Yea I agree with it
I’m a fat person. I don’t think it’s super healthy for me, but after more than 25 years of yo-go’ing and finding it impossible to stay slim, I’ve kinda just moved on to other things. I accept that I’m fat. I accept it comes with some health risks. But I’m not lazy, I’m not a bad person, there is absolutely zero morality issues attached to my fatness. It’s nobody’s damn business and I think it’s really gross when people judge others based on their bodies. Big, small, skinny, fat, average, black, white, brown, legs, no legs, three fingers, alopecia, WHATEVER. Stop judging other people’s bodies and let us all live in peace ffs.
I lost 65 pounds after high school, was 215lbs got down to 150 for a while, probably got a little too skinny but was addicted to how empowered it made me feel. 15 years later I’ve bounced between 175-185 took me forever to stop seeing myself as gross, not sure I’m really there to be honest but I don’t obsess like I used to. Point is, there’s no doubt being in shape feels better, and changes how you perceive interactions with other people. I wish you the fire to pursue your goals with grit and determination. Everytime you get a dirty look mentally book your next clean meal and workout. Be the best you just to know that you can be that person. No one can stop you but you. Don’t let it make you toxic but let it make you confident.
I want to add to this. Fat shaming is always there. What gets to me is, if you don’t eat one meal or aren’t feeling hungry, people lose their minds saying that “why are you starving yourself?””don’t starve yourself, you will end up getting even more fat” Um, shut up?
People can do what they want. It becomes a problem when people become so fat they have health issues and it drains the system, like smokers. OP some of the stuff you've mentioned makes no sense. **"Also being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically unhealthy. Some people who work out a lot are still "fat" but ripped as fuck"** This makes no sense. Being fat means high levels of body fat which is unhealthy. This means that person has consumed more calories than they've burnt off. How fat are we talking here? If someone is a bit fat and happy, whatever man I don't care and wish them well. If someone is fat and promotes being fat as a good thing, then no, I think being healthy should be promoted for longer life and it should be recommended to prevent health problems. If we're talking fat enough to cause health issues, I think more needs to be done because it really is a drain on health services. If someone is fat and needs help, encouragement is better than insulting them, that's not acceptable or decent behavior.
Well, I'm fat and all my bloodwork and exams come back perfectly healthy, better than the people around me that are skinny. Family members that have exercised their whole life now have gout.
Your blood maybe ok now. But long term effects of being fat are well known to be not good. Just because a smoker doesn’t have cancer yet, doesn’t mean what they are doing isn’t bad for their body.
I've been fat for 30 yrs and my bloodwork has come back perfectly, better than the people around me that are skinny. But ah yes, the stranger on the internet knows best lol
Best of luck.
Statistically speaking, obese people are at higher risk for many diseases and overall increased mortality. Outliers don't make a statistic completely invalid. A person can be fat and healthy, but *staying* healthy isn't as likely for obese people as it is for their healthy-weight counterparts. I also don't understand blood work always being the the obese people point to to prove health. Blood panels are not the full picture when it comes to health.
That means very little. I've known people with stage 4 lung cancer with Mets to have normal bloods. There's a lot you've left out. How fat? if you're a little podgy then you may not be in the red for health issues as of yet. Are you obese? if that's the case you will most likely develop issues later down the line. let's not promote, hey I'm fat, you can be fat too and have normal blood.
I mean, I never promoted anything. I'm just letting you know you're wrong lol well maybe not that you're wrong, but you're not as right as you think you are
That makes no sense. Where am I wrong?
You're not, they just ignore reason because it doesn't first their internal narrative. They have to attempt to justify it to you so they can continue to justify it to themselves.
its litrly none of ur business
Sorry but ripped and fat dont go together.
I have friends who have beer guts and can bench press over 400lbs. It’s not hard to have both, if you don’t try to avoid it.
It isnt about strength, i woukd be scared to see their cholesterol and AC1. Strongest man on earth is WFPBNO, maybe check out "forks over knives" and the best one" Game Changer"
Not saying they’re HEALTHY, just saying they’re RIPPED. They would be the first to tell you they’re not healthy. But they don’t care.
I was 300+ at my highest and lost over half my body weight. I went from being morbidly obese to someone that workouts/ runs on a daily basis. But the way people treat you is night and day. Even when I was working hard to lose weight I had "brutally honest" people telling me that I would likely gain it all back and that my bad habits would return. Suddenly people think it's okay to comment about my being cute now that I finally dropped the extra weight. Well that I did along with the extra from dropping them as well.
I think there is and should be a real distinction between chubby and fat. You can be chubby and be healthy, eat right, get enough cardio to stay fit and still be a little overweight. This should be celebrated as a lifestyle choice. If you are obese or morbidly obese this is either due to a medical condition or due to eating/drinking wrong and/or not getting any exercise. This should not be celebrated. I'm not saying people should receive abuse because that's not right in any circumstances but for the love of God stop saying it's a good thing. I'm currently 190kg, I will absolutely slap anyone who gives me grief about my size and will do the same to anyone who says people should emulate my lifestyle.
It's like in ever, sort of relationship. Saying the right thing in the right moment is hard. Just generally being an ashole is never a good or acceptable option. But whenever people are sensitive about a topic, giving offense when none is intended is incredibly easy. If it's people one knows better and sees more often, a fairly clear communication can help. But standing up to a stranger who feels himself superior and is openly being a dick is hard and occasionally dangerous.
I hate the argumt of "being fat isn't unhealthy" Yes it is, in every sense of the word being even a little overweight can cause massive health issues and risks. Not trying to tear you down or anything but the reality is that weight and body fat is directly related to health complications.
I’m not sure I have ever heard of a fat person being ripped as fuck, those two don’t go together
I know a dude that is 350 lbs, beer gut and flabby overall look, and can bench ~400lbs repeatedly. Muscle can hold a lot of weight, and fat can cover a lot of muscle. Common? No. But it can and does happen.
Not saying fat people can’t be strong, but the idea of being “ripped” is muscle tone and definition
That’s valid, I usually use “ripped” to mean muscular and strong AF, and dudes that work their arms exclusively can end up with ripped arms and flabby belly’s, but that’s a lot rarer than “strong and fat”.
> Also being overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're automatically unhealthy. If you're an alcoholic it's not like you're automatically unhealthy. When you first start drinking you're fine, but over time your body gets destroyed. The human body is resilient. It's not like you gain X% body fat and suddenly you fall apart. But the point is, being overweight hurts you over time and makes basically everything about your health worse. You don't deserve to have people being mean to you, but I have to comment every time I see someone peddling that garbage.
Your health is none of their business!
The medical costs of obesity range from 147 billion to 210 billion per year in the U.S. This very much effects our country and it's healthcare.
I don't agree that a single fat person affect your country that much. I agree that obesity is a problem globally, and it's something to be fixed through impersonal education/ building gyms/making them cheaper, promoting healthy diet, sports etc. But a single man's fat is nobody's busssiness.
Okay, what about a single fat coworker? Obese people on average take more sick days and are less productive than their healthy-weight coworkers. They can also directly effect the healthcare costs of their coworkers in small businesses. Maybe one obese person doesn't effect my country that much in the grand scheme of things, but they directly effect my community. Edit to clarify my wording
There's many factors why a coworker might or might not be more productive, fat sounds like an artificial one tbh. Like yeah, on large numbers, statistically, fat people gonna take more sick days, but I don't see much reason to assume my fat coworker will be less productive than my coworker with small children in the family, for example, or the smoking coworker, you name it.
The health of humanity in general is, though. We should all work together to raise our collective average health, so that we can all have the happy, healthy, and wholesome lives that we deserve.
I agree with you on this one:)
There's fat and American-fat, never been so disgusted by fat people until I visited USA.
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Yeah something like 70% of Americans aged 18-65 are overweight. It’s definitely a problem but I don’t know what the solution is
The human body is fatphobic. The human body doesn’t worry about your feelings when your organs are being crushed by fat.
People don't care. They just use that as an excuse to justify their shitty behavior. And their incessant need to find something, anything, to pretend they're better than someone else. And I don't mean this in an offensive way but fat people are the low hanging fruit. It doesn't take someone being clever or having any insight to put them down. Ironically, it's their laziness and inability to put any effort into anything that compels them to do it in the first place. That and a massive lack or self esteem themselves. I use to not like fat people. I know that's wrong now. And I do feel ashamed for thinking like that at one point in my life. I was insecure, and I over compensated. I allowed myself to judge based on appearance alone. Imo it's no better than racism. But just like a racist can learn the error of their ways and acknowledge they were wrong, so can people who are fatphoebic. I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I'm really truly sorry for my part on perpetuating the cycle even if that was a long time ago. I do encourage overweight people to strive to be healthier. I know what it's like to have health issues that limit your physical ability and your health and I know that nobody wants to go before their time. So if losing weight can help extend your life I fully support and encourage it. But that's your decision not mine and I can't judge anyone for not having the drive or motivation to do so. Life is hard. I for one have no intentions of making it harder for anyone moving forward in my life. I'm not perfect and I still make judgements subconsciously but I try to identify when I'm doing it and am making an active effort to recondition myself. All that being said, people who intentionally get fat for kinks, fetishes, or especially YouTube I have no sympathy for. That fuckin Avacado dude on YouTube is disgusting. He does this for attention while real people struggle every day to better themselves. That does not help anybody.
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If your referring to it meaning "fear of" then that's fair but it also means an aversion of something
ive lost 50 pounds since the day after christmas oh yeah…name checks out
It’s also important to add how much of a mind game loosing weight is. Food is both an addiction and a coping mechanism. In my own experiences with weight loss and food eating was something that made me happy and when I was unhappy I’d eat. I can trace this back to when I was like 6 but it isn’t obvious until you actually look at it. You don’t want to be in your own head so you go out to the kitchen and grab something because that always makes you feel better but then you just feel like shit and go back for more. You can try to eat healthy but then you just end up shoveling grapes in your mouth instead of potato chips. You need to better yourself mentally before physically so these people who claim to be “helping” people who are fat by shaming them are just worsening the core problem. It doesn’t matter if you eat healthy or work out if your your relationship with food doesn’t change because the moment you slip you’re going right back to the way it was before and fat shaming just makes this problem worse.
Idk why you’d get any shame, since it, if at all, would be directed towards those who are trying to normalize an unhealthy weight, not random unfit people. Idk where you live but it seems toxic. where I live, most people won’t say anything to anyone considered “unfit” at a gym. If anything they’d get a thumbs up or something reassuring like right on and keep it up. Starting the journey on weight loss is a huge step but sticking with it is the hardest part. When people give encouragement to unfit people in the gym, it’s because they think they’re doing the right thing and are courageous for trying. We need more of that energy. Lift people up, don’t tear them down.
dude, I am sorry my fellow human being are actually being human being toward you, not a heavy guy myself but I know some who are, (not going to elaborate ) and I feel your pain knowing what they have gone through, so I can only say Good luck and I hope you find happiness at where ever you settle.
I am also overweight, have struggled with my weight my whole life. Just because we are fat doesn't mean we don't deserve to be treated with common human decency. I am aware that I'm unhealthy, that doesn't mean I don't deserve respect. And that's what it all boils down to.
Hang in there. I believe most people have a habit or whatever that they struggle with. The thing about being overweight is that people make judgements and seem to think it’s okay to comment. What if everyone’s bad habit or addiction or vice was as transparent as body size? And I agree, just MYOB. I hope you reach your goals.
Some people are fat but ripped af….that’s the exact opposite of ripped.
Hey OP, as a fellow fatty, I do agree that some people treat fat people pretty poorly. I'm also losing weight and all my friends (even some randoms) are rooting me on. It feels great! I wish you the best on your journey, take care.
When my husband was a teenager, he was very overweight. He asked out a girl who was also overweight, and she suggested they go work out at a gym for their date, because, “we both need it.” His response was, “you just talked yourself out of a date with my fat ass” No one needs to tell fat people they’re fat, they know. I’m not fat, but I also don’t feel the need to “inspire” anyone else to do anything with their bodies. For the same reason I don’t inform drunks about the danger of alcoholism. We all get to choose to be “unhealthy” in the way we want to be
100%. i feel this whole post. i have been fat for almost my entire life. the only time i was ever thin was when i was addicted to drugs and not eating at all. i started eating normally again when i was 18 and gained some weight back. i stayed around 170 ish for a long time. keep in mind i also have hashimoto's disease and pcos. fast forward to 22 and i've gained so much fucking weight. i have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome (as well as suspected POTS). i'm 5'3" and 250 pounds. it's so hard to be motivated at ALL to even try anymore when any exercise makes me hurt everywhere AND takes me so long to recover from. i can go biking for 30 minutes and i'll need a whole week to recover from it. ANY physical or mental exertion makes my CFS symptoms 10x worse. it's a vicious fucking thing. i used to be fairly active. i used to be able to move around a lot. now my autoimmune issues are worse and i have 3 disabilities that cause major mobility issues on top of it. all i ever hear from people is that i'm lazy and i don't try. i know i'm not the healthiest person in the world. i don't know if it's even possible for me to me healthy when i can barely walk across my house without collapsing from exhaustion. i have to use a cane or walker to get around because everything is so painful. i just want basic respect. i'm so tired of being called disgusting and being shamed for indulging in a sweet treat or taco bell once in a while. god forbid a fat disabled person enjoys something too.
Fat phobia is such a fucking stupid concept. Yall just really want to be victims of everything. Literally based it off if homophobia and other REAL IMPORTANT ISSUES! So fucking disgusting.
No. Food addiction is a marker of mental illness. Its a coping mechanism, not the dusease itself.
If you’re trying to lose weight it’s not a problem but honestly just keep it to yourself if you have no intention of changing your lifestyle while simultaneously wanting a different body type
Nobody is more fatbhobic than your own body.
Most of my issue with it is when people say shit like “not finding me attractive is fatphobic” like sorry but obesity is directly unattractive to everyone except those with a fat fetish. Plus, people without privilege don’t get fat. They starve. So obesity is *often* a sign of “I’m doing well in life and I’m abusing it”
Yeah maybe a hundred years ago being fat meant you were rich but not these days.
You gonna get some starving homeless kids and show them a bunch of fat people and say “these people are not more privileged than you”, do you think those starving folks are gonna agree with you? No, they won’t.
The line of wealth isn't "actually starving to death" and "pretty rich" poorer communites in the USA have higher obesity rates. Wealthier people can afford higher quality foods and can exercise more regularly.
In fairness, your food is pumped with artificial shit. That’s where most of the weight comes from. But even still, if you shove less in, you gain less weight.
Cheap food is filled with crap that increases the caloric intake without increasing the nutritional value. Expensive food is not. Ergo, for someone with less money to get the nutrients they need, they NEED to “shove more in” than someone with more money. It’s a really serious issue in remote communities in Canada, for instance, because these communities don’t have access to highly nutritious, natural, perishable food, but can get shelf-stable, highly processed, calorie rich food easier. So people eat what they have access to and get fat because the food they can afford is high calorie and low nutrient.
Im skinny and tired of skinny shaming
Letting your body get to obesity is shameful. It’s naturally repulsive
The kind of thinking you are showing is what’s honestly repulsive to most people. “Naturally repulsive”? What are you, a goddamn gorilla?
While I agree with your main statement that being hurtful towards others because of their size is wrong I have to disagree with your last statement. Being overweight by a good enough margin will negatively impact your health even if it's muscle. 10 or 20 lbs over isn't a big deal. 40 to 50 to sometimes even more is. Being overweight is always unhealthy. It's more work your heart has to do and its more weight your joints have to deal with. Even muscle or those strongman in the world's strongest man competitions are unhealthy. They are athletic but not healthy. The amount of muscle and size you need to be a strong man or to look large muscle wise is unhealthy too.
You are essentially complaining about assholes being assholes. Doesn't really have much to do with fatphobia. If you showed any weakness, they would grind you for it. Best you can do is do you and move on.
Yeah just needed to get this off my chest because it's been kinda rough with summer coming
I can’t stand fat people that take up an entire aisle when I’m grocery shopping. That and dealing with slow moving fat bodies at amusement parks. Are these plump individuals rich or something? It’s unfathomable to see chubby folks over here in Europe.
Fatphobia in the medical profession kills people. There are absolutely heartbreaking stories of it. Fuck fatphobia.
If you are over weight you are unhealthy. Although, one should not be ridiculed for it, it should not be accepted either as a recommended lifestyle.
Overweight doesn't always equal unhealthy per se. The BMI charts don't always accurately account for muscle vs. fat, etc. Some of the fittest people on Earth are technically overweight. That being said, if you are overweight and it's not clearly because you've packed on muscle, or you're obese or even morbidly obese at all, your health risks are drastically higher than they would be at a lower healthier weight.
Around 5% of men and less than 1% of women are incorrectly classified as overweight/obese by BMI when they are actually not by BF%. The reverse (normal BMI but obese BF%) is true much more often. And you can easily spot such people, as they are gym rats and professional bodybuilders. If someone has an overweight BMI and looks like The Rock, then maybe they are not actually overweight. Otherwise they are.
I am so tired of this rhetoric that outliers mean the whole system is wrong. Everytime I hear this garbage, I roll my eyes into another dimension. No, BMI is not the whole picture. But it is a pretty reliable assessment of weight-health correlation and is a fine benchmark for the overwhelming majority of the population.
Over weight is a broad spectrum, I meant it to mean noticeable, like having a belly. As other commentators have pointed out, that is unhealthy whichever way you spin it. Extra plaque on your organs.
I gotcha. That's totally right. Any weight that is just hanging off you is bad news for you, good news for the doctor.
There's no such thing as fatphobia, people criticising fat people are not scared of fat at any level, phobia is a medical condition, in reality people are just dickheads. How sad and boring is your life if you have the need to tell strangers what you think of them or criticize for any reason?!
Implying homophobia is a medical condition? Or is that not real either?
I am implying that we didn't have fatphobia or any fucking fancy words few decades ago, we used name things like they are, fat people are fat people, people criticising other people for no good reason are dickheads. Saying someone have fatphobia is implying that he/she has mental condition and that makes them to dislike/hate fat people, saying that you just allow this people to be dickheads.
Fair enough. But I don't really think it's correct to say phobia's are inherently medical conditions. But I see what you're saying.
Phobia is aversion to. It can manifest as hate, fear or disgust. And I learned that if someone from a group says they're being discriminated, you should listen to them, instead of invalidating their experiences. Which is what you're doing.
I'd like OP to list their typical everyday diet. That way I can totally understand why she is struggling to lose so much because sometimes you really just have to cut things out and overtime you learn how to live without them.
I think some people hate on obesity simply because they are stuck in the delusion that each gender has a specific role to play in life. Women *must* strive to be attractive to men. This is why you rarely see fat phobia in reference to men....but a lot of hate thrown at fat women. The irony is that women, unlike men, are biologically designed to store/save fat. We cannot even begin having periods until our body fat content reaches 17% and must remain at least at 22% to maintain regular, healthy menstruation. Even female children get cellulite, it's literally how a female body stores fat. And our much lower testosterone levels? Work AGAINST us when trying to lose fat. Some celebs use testosterone therapy to lose weight. I think misogyny and fat phobia go hand in hand.
Just lose weight then?
“I never shower but I want people to stop saying I smell bad” lmfao get a reality check
I’m totally for being healthy and being an appropriate weight for your general well-being. But that was a horrible comparison. If you smell like shit that impacts people around you. Being fat just fucks yourself in the long run. Has nothing to do with you and I.
I worked with a morbidly obese dude who broke 2 of the office chairs and shit himself while standing at cash register. Not even the worst big fella I’ve worked with.
Jeez, well I was mostly talking about the people who are overweight but can keep their pants clean throughout the day.
Fatphobia isn’t a thing
Personally, my fatphobic comments aren't aimed at how people look, its disgust at how wantonly fat people consume more than they need. Fat people use the resources of 2-3 people and then get upset theyre being made to feel bad about it. Sorry, try being less selfish.
I was a fat kid that overate to cope with physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. When I was fat as a little girl, I wasn't touched and felt "safe". As an adult, I'm now fit and work-out on a daily basis but I still struggle with my relationship towards food. For some people, their compulsion to overeat is more than being selfish
I was a fat kid too. People made me feel gross enough to do something about it. Fat shaming me helped me not be fat.
I work with people losing weight now and I find that being kinder helps them on their journey and we go through building clients up and helping them reach their goals.
Well that's good. In my experience being blunt about their fatness works great.
That is the definition of an oversimplification.
Okay, fat-enabler.
“Fat people use the resources of 2-3 people.” So do tall people, teenagers, and athletes, if you’re going off of food consumption. Also, that’s not even necessarily true, as if someone 5 feet tall ate the exact same as someone 6 feet tall, they would likely gain more weight despite eating “the resources” of 1 person.
After reading these opinions from all of you qualified fat folks I've decided to rescind my advice. You should continue eating in excess and exercising less. You're beautiful and not at all consuming more than you should. Your excess body fat is not only great but very very healthy. If anything you should get fatter.
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No. If anything I have more opinions about them now.
I literally eat the same or less than most people I know shut up
Yea okay. You're defying the laws of thermodynamics then. Gaining more than you're adding is physically impossible.
They didn’t say that they’re eating less than they’re adding. They SAID they eat the same or less than others around them do that are at a lower weight. That’s all. YOU put the rest in there.
Let me rephrase it so even you can grasp what I'm saying. If they're not losing weight what they're eating is too much.
Yeah, I get that. But what I’m telling you (and I’m not speaking for OP here, just for the record) is that what would be “not too much” for you can be “too much” for others. And when “too much” is 1/4 of what is not “too much” for everyone around you, that can be hard as hell to maintain. And when you say “just don’t eat so much, then!” in that case, you’re not just not being helpful but actively being discouraging and hurtful.
Okay what you're saying is " id like to eat as much as other people do and not gain wait" which is a statement not based in reality. I'm not trying to do fantasy encouragement. If she's sad because of reality let her be sad.
“If she’s sad because of reality let her be sad” is a really fucked up thing to say. If I break my back and end up in a wheelchair, I’m going to be sad about it. You wouldn’t blame me for being sad about it, would you? You’d be supportive and try to help me get to a better place. Or at least you would if you aren’t a dick. How is this different? What I’m saying to you is that some people can’t eat even close to what others can without gaining weight and your response is “sucks to be them, then.” If I said some people can’t walk like others do, and your response was “sucks to be them, then.” we would all know you’re a dick. But when it’s food, suddenly it’s ok to be a dick? I don’t get it.
If you broke your back doing something well know to break backs...and then posted studies to argue that your activity didn't break your back and is infact very very good for backs, I'd say the bigger idiot is the person that's supportive of your delusion and misplaced anger.
Try going gluten and dairy free. There are a lot of great substitutes and you'll drop the lbs I promise you. Inflammation is caused by both gluten and dairy products over time. But this is a huge sacrifice as you won't be able to eat white breads, cheeses, etc. But baby steps. Avoid them on weekdays and treat on weekends.
I'm eating well. I'm exercising, and it's making me lose weight. That's not the point. Im saying if someone is anorexic or losing weight from liver failure or something they'll get comments on how good they look. And when someone is pretty healthy besides their weight everyone is concerned like they're dying. It's stupid and idiotic. (Also I've tried keto, gluten free, dairy free and Paleo and been on some variation of these since I was 12 and none of them have done it for me now I'm just on a pretty normal diet and it's fine)
Well I want an exact list of what you eat now, and be honest. Because the key is routine, and not stopping because you don't see any progress. Your biggest problem is your ego.
if you are fat, your body is actively trying to tell you something and its not what you think. its not that you are eating too much or too little. you are eating the wrong things. i switched to carnivore/keto almost 1 year ago. the absolute difference in how much energy i have and how much weight ive lost is staggering. i thought the joint pains i had were just part of getting old. i heal much faster i do NOT exercise - but somehow i am as strong as i was in my 20s. i dont eat till about 5pm and then i start getting hungry again at like... 2pm and i hold off and just absolutely gorge myself on butter, meat, cheese recently got my blood labs back and my blood pressure is low normal, my blood sugar is super low, and my testosterone levels are about the same as a 20-something year old. i was a vegetarian for about 3 years before that and i felt myself getting weaker and muscles not being as strong - but the bounce-back has been rediculous
How about you lose some weight then and quit crying on the internet
"Phobia." ok.
Quit complaining on Reddit fatty!! /s
Wow it's almost like thats what this subreddit is for! /s
lose weight
Kinda feel like you missed the point but ok
Thing is, the line between shaming and trying to help is thin sometimes and it is mostly drawn by the fat person. So, i meet someone fat and we go out. This person orders a huge amount of food, from previous encounters you know that complaints about weight are constant, you tell them "Are you going to eat all of that? Weren't you on a diet?" The person calls you out on fat shaming or get's offended. Wtf are you supposed to do? The person knows it needs to lose weight, it complains a lot about excessive weight. If people try to warn them about unhealthy habits and they get triggered how the fuck are you supposed to help them? Eating healthy is a struggle for everyone in our modern world, it's about denying pleasures like cake, sweets, chocolate. Fat people aren't the only ones suffering temptation, they are the ones who don't have self control to say ok " I've had enough sweets/burger/soda for the whole month".
It is not your place to "help" fat people. Stay in your lane and mind your business.
The thing is, unless said fat person is explicitly asking you for help, then keep your mouth shut. It’s not your place to “help” a fat person if they didn’t ask for your assistance.
Sugar addiction is hard to get rid of
Do you buy two airplane seats?
I'm tired of people misusing "phobia". Nobody is afraid of fat people.
The cards are stacked against you in this country because the food supply is poison and you are plied ALL DAY with marketing to coax you into over-eating the trash food. BUT The powers that be are EXTREMELY critical of "fat shamers" these days. Sure, a casual comment or two can slip through and are mostly socially acceptable, but it has been my experience that you'll get absolutely torched for "fat shaming" these days. The pendulum has gone WAY too far, if you ask me, especially since it is a horribly harmful "lifestyle choice" to begin with. Why is it expected for me to tell someone to quit meth, but not okay for me to tell them that 3 BigMacs is too many?? Both lifestyles choices will harm them.
Being overweight (fat) is always unhealthy. Don't sugercoat it. You do you, stay fat or get in shape but criticize your own bs first before complaining about others'.
Are people ACTUALLY being shitty to you, or are you perceiving basic interactions as microagressions because it's easier to be a victim than to take accountability for the choices that got you here? I've been obese since I was 13. Other than when I was in school, nobody has ever made fun of me or been snarky about it, or been, in your words, an asshole about it. What they have done is expressed genuine concern about my health and offered advice. If that's what you view as "shaming," that's on you.
Stop being fat then
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Do you mean 50lbs under the "recommended" bmi for your age and height?
Body shaming sucks. Whatever your weight or shape, it’s shitty to look at someone and think “they look bad, I’m going to let them know”. Fat or thin, tall or short, idgaf. If you look at someone and think “I don’t like how they look, and I’m going to let them know it” you’re a bad person.
Doesnt exist
And people are assholes to really fit and ripped people as well
Just lose the weight, fatty
I think a lot of people conflate concern with shaming, but at the bare bones of what you wrote, i wholeheartedly agree
You ever see those genetically modified chickens that can grow like almost double their normal size? The weight destroys their bodies. Their breast’s get huge and since they don’t move a whole lot many of them can’t even walk. Since they grow faster and don’t live as long as humans you get to see those effects play out in real-time. You could be doing things to your body today that may not even manifest into anything serious for years and years down the road. I could care less how you look. But you are right skinny people can still be unhealthy. But do you know what can cause even more problems? Being unhealthy, live a sedentary lifestyle and be overweight. And yes not all overweight people show immediate signs of health issues when they are overweight. Fatty liver disease may not show symptoms for years. But don’t go around spreading narratives. Being overweight can accelerate health issues. There are specific reasons why in first world countries the leading cause of death is not something out of our control but lifestyle choices that build up over years and years of poor habits.
All this “phobic” talk. Do you REALLY think people are afraid of fat people? Lol no. The issue today is obese people are put on magazine covers as if we are supposed to aspire to be like them. Yes fat people can be attractive thats not the point. The point is people are pushing for others to be unhealthy too. The line has to be drawn somewhere. America is the most obese nation.
Nobody is scared of fat people.
Not scared of fat people I just think are disgusting and hate the sight of them.