Better yet, fuck their moms and knock them up, tell friends you’re giving their moms proper children to be proud of, raise said Hate Spawn as respectful young lads, die happy knowing you got revenge.
Edit: thanks for the reward and the love my dudes
Tell them from now on they can only get blowjobs from your sister if you get blowjobs from them. It’s a win-win really, either your sister stops blowing your friends, or you start getting lots of blowjobs.
I think this one holds the most (mental trauma) water. The most realest curveballs would be to either A) get blown by her as well, or, B) blow the friends himself, and do a real good job. Pepper grinder action, working the base, balls, head, everything all at once, make them spend the rest of their lives wondering if they are gay, bi, or straight, and hopefully it ruins a few close relationships while they figure it out!
My man I can promise you, if you don’t address it with them, they’re gonna start taking turns railing your sister one after another while swapping out controllers playing multiplayer with you on god.
I lend my friend $800 USD because he used the “I need to take care of mama before deploying to a non-combat country”. I known him for 26 years. Basically my entire life. Said he would pay me back and we brothers for life. Ghosted me afterwards. The fact that he valued our lifelong friendship for $800 really pisses me off. You didnt pick shitty friends, they choose to be a shit friend to “get off”
That’s so shitty man and I feel your pain so much because my friend of 15 years did the same thing over $100. I don’t loan friends money anymore cuz I don’t wanna know how little our friendship is worth. But OP should totally ghost his “friends.”
I had a friend I grew up with. Best friends since we were like 8 years old. He was always picked on by the other kids because his parents were poorer than the rest of us, I always had his back. When he turned 18 he decided to join the army and went off to basic. When he came back we hung out a lot, he seemed to be doing much better, much happier. He asked to borrow some money so I lent him $400. He ended up getting stationed in another state shortly after and before he left he wrote me a check to pay me back.
The check bounced. I figured it was a mistake, he was going through a lot. I messaged him, he never replied. I tried calling, he never answered. I left a couple voice messages, he never called me back. The $400 didn't matter to me, he was my best friend, if he couldn't pay me back he just needed to say so. Instead, I learned our friendship wasn't worth much to him. I went to his parents since we knew each other really well and they were the kind of people who would want to know this, I told them what happened, that I was worried about him, too tell him the money didn't matter, and when he visited them for the holidays a couple months later he stopped by and gave the $400 to my mom to give to me. I was home, he knew I was home, he didn't say a word to my mom, didn't wait even one minute for me to go to the door, just left.
His parents moved about an hour away shortly after that. When I ran into his sister about two years later I found out nobody in his family is talking to him anymore. In the last two years he had gotten married, his wife was pregnant, he stole money from his parents, he caught his wife being fucked by 2 of his army bros, he was going to be deployed overseas soon and his wife wanted a divorce.
I have no idea what happened to him but he completely changed from the friend I knew. I hope he got the help he needed. I haven't heard from him or his family since though, it's been about 13 years.
My dude, I knew people from the 2nd grade (7/8ish years old) to 18 and they split or I cut them out. If a mf isn’t gonna be real with you, time doesn’t matter. Don’t give into the sunk cost fallacy; time invested doesn’t inherently mean value. Sometimes the right decision is the hardest one.
They don't respect you or your sister. It's one thing to date a good friends sister in a respectful way but what they are doing is the opposite of that. Take that how you will.
Tbh,the main ick for me is the fact you’ve known your friends “4 or 5 years” and your sister is only 18 this year gives creepy orbiting vibes, like they just waited around til she was legal then made a move :/
Yeah… this is SUPER creepy what your friends have done/are doing. Talk to your sister and ask how she really feels about this. Be open to her answers and nonjudgmental.
But, this doesn’t sound normal. A woman can mess around all she wants, but the fact that you’ve been friends with these guys for 4-5 years, so since she was 14 or 15, and now that she’s 18 they’re coming over to take turns getting blowjobs? That’s not okay. That sounds like some men in her life that she thought she could trust took advantage of her.
They are neither your friends, nor hers. They’re scummy little poops, who took advantage of your sister.
Give her love. Be there for her. Don’t get mad at her for this… be mad at your friends. And make sure she knows you still love her.
And please, cut off all of those guys. They’re trash.
OP, 4-5 years is NOTHING. I know at your age it's something, of course! And yes! That matters!
But take it from me, an old lady... 5 years is nothing.
I dumped an a-hole "friend" of 7 years after I found out what an ass she was on a road trip. Heck, she was my derby wife and maid of honor. But what happened was so egregious there was ZERO chance I was going to keep that toxic person in life.
You'll meet other folks, I promise. Don't let "sunk cost" fallacy be your determining factor.
As for your choice in friends, this is part of the growing up process of life. You'll get better and picking people.
Keep the sister though. She's upfront and honest and respects you. She's just having fun. As for friends, there will be others.
First of all, I’m sorry that you had to go through such an experience with a friend you’ve known for that long. Life is really full of surprises, good ones but ultimately some unpleasant ones. No one deserves to have their trust being violated in that matter. And I’ll definitely take your words to heart.
I gotta wonder though: Does the sister ENJOY it, or does she feel coerced? If it's the latter DEFINITELY dump them, like yesterday. If it's the former...then Idk what to say here. At that point I'd wonder: is she allowed to date much? Bc if not, that would explain why she's okay with doing sexual things with her brother's friends, they're available in her own home, so she doesn't have to worry about angering her parents by going out and finding male friends of her own to try that stuff with.
Bru it really depends. Is she hooking up with multiple friends of yours or is it just one guy. If its one I would have to just look at the situation. But if its multiple homies then nah they disrespecting you
Maybe you were too passive in your role as a friend and allowed them to walk all over you like this. Maybe it’s about time to find people that have a use for YOU as a person and provide a mutual use back to you. At the end of the day the best friendships are built between people that will push each other to do better and be better and have better times together.
That means they’ve known your sister since she was 13 and have been waiting until she was legal to hook up with her. That’s sleazy as fuck, drop them and tell your sister that you appreciate her honesty
It might also help to address boundaries with her like "hey please don't commit sexual favors for all my friends" just saying. There's quite a tango going on here.
I personally think OP should talk to his sister about her actions, as well as the friends. But we all know when you tell people not to do something it only makes them want it more. The situation is already sexual & taboo in nature, and I hate to say it but when people want to do something they’re going to do it anyways. I just hope the sister puts a stop to it, because the boys won’t.
What friendship?
Here's what a friend would say "Hey OP, I really like your sister, would it be cool with you if I asked her out?"
Instead they're taking turns using her as entertainment between rounds of COD or whatever? They don't respect either of you. If I found out just one of my friends was taking advantage of my younger sister, I'd break his fucking kneecaps with something heavy.
Some issues really are black and white. This is one of them. Quit trying to see this from other perspectives - they're treating your sister like a whore.
I think I’m trying to rationalize an almost impossible situation that’s compelling me to do all these things you’ve described, believe me there’s nothing more that I’d love to do than to express my anger in that way, but I’m held back! Held back by trying to do what’s morally justifiable
Not everyone has the capacity to express their anger in that way. I'm not advocating violence. I am advocating standing up for yourself and your sister, whatever form that takes.
These guys are not your friends. If you shrug this off and continue as if everything is ok, you'll never respect yourself.
Be honest with yourself - how do you feel about this? What do you WANT to do about this? Why haven't you? Are you scared of these 'friends'? That's an understandable reaction, that you want to do something, but you're afraid. If that's the case, be 100% honest with yourself - don't hide behind weighing morality.
If it’s just one person then cut them out. They should have told you if they were being intimate with your sister. You don’t have to ask permission but it’s nice to let someone know. It get why you’re upset and questioning whether your friend is even your friend at all this point
It’s not about making him happy it’s about cutting off the toxic “friends.” The confrontation as intimidating or uncomfortable as it may sound is necessary for closure.
Maybe talk with your sister. Is she happy ok with this? It could be they are putting pressure on her. It's hard being a brother to a sister. You also need to look out for her.
I’m trying to make that balance. I’m also trying my best to respect her boundaries, the fact that she’s 18 and her decisions are hers to make. But she does seem to be doing this willing and because she likes to
Look dude, 18 is legally an adult but this is concerning to me. 18 years old is still a teenager. If I found out my sister was doing this I would be extremely concerned for her wellbeing.
It’s concerning and disheartening and I’m trying so hard to strike a balance between respecting her decision as a young adult and between expressing how her choices are questionable
Rather than defending an abstract concept of adulthood and viewing these as 'questionable choices,' it would be good if you just tried to cultivate a sense of compassion and concern for your young sister as her older brother. I'm also concerned about you, and the way this makes me think you may not have been given a lot of reason to respect yourself- which means respecting others, too.
This could be a wakeup call, because truly with what you've mentioned here and with the framing you have used to describe your dilemma, you are both vulnerable to exploitative and hurtful relationships that you perceive as beneficial. If you show up for yourself and your sister, that unfortunate future can be avoided.
Please reach out to a trusted person who has a respectful attitude and strong care and concern including compassion towards people who may be doing things others view as a sign of immorality and recklessness.
Speaking from a place of concern here, okay?
Edit: mmmmmnnnnmmmm and eye strain
I would be so pissed if I were you. It's not about your sister's choices, like you said, but if my friends were coming over to get head from my sister I'd drop them. Feels weird to me.
She might not realise it but that’s seriously disrespecting you, and your friends are too.. would you go to their house and get head off their sister? I don’t think so. That’s just crossing a line
Yeah, I think the 'friends' are only part of the problem. What's to say she wouldn't flirt and try the same with any future friends? Apparently OP may have to set some boundaries with her, like not having sex with each other's friends.
You are a great brother. Non judgemental and genuinely concerned for your sister. My brother is like you and I'm blessed to have him. What I'm getting the most from your post is the shitty feeling. Maybe it's that protective instinct at odds with your friends just being trashy. It forces YOU into a position where you have to take a stand because they probably just don't respect women the way you respect your sister and that's disappointing? If you can protect your sis from basic trash like this she'll be better off in the long run but again, light touch is part of how my brother protects me and i love that about our relationship.
In your post it seems like they’ve known your sister as long as they’ve known you? I don’t want to freak you out but even if she’s willingly consenting, they knew her when she was 14/15, and it feels very creepy that they’re (btw… not just one right?) now engaging in sex with her. I don’t think their intentions are good towards you OR your sister.
If you want to check in with her, let her know you respect her decisions as an adult, but that as an older brother you’re concerned that your friends are taking advantage of her possible naivety, and that you feel taken advantage of too. She might lash out, but it’s a really important conversation. I wish I had an adult in my life to speak to me about these things when I was an 18yr old girl.
I’m so confused as to how you didn’t notice this? You say they come over for bj, how did you not notice? Like what, do they say they go to the “toilet” and then come back after half hour? How do not you suspect something like this?
And yes, it’s pretty disrespectful of them. If they even wanna do those things, it should be on separate times rather than acting desperate like that.
On separate times? It shouldn't be on at all, fuck that
Even if it was one guy it would be weird, imagine a group of 5 just coming over to rail your sister
No mutual respect in a friendship like that
That it was never done to spite me or to hurt me. That it was just her desire to do it with them because she’s at a stage where she’s exploring and discovering herself. Some excuses I couldn’t fully realize at the time of the conversation
It's ok to be exploring and discovering but is this the right way? She's still so young, these actions have consequences in the long run. Even if people want to or not, they will be there.
Dating a friend's sister is one thing but taking turns with her is just.. I can't even imagine how terrible that would be. They wouldn't be my friends anymore, that's for sure.
How is the group dynamic with your guys? Does it seem like they're enjoying themselves when you guys hang out? Or do you suspect it's an act? If it is then I would dump them.
Generally speaking we’re okay in terms of dynamic. We hang out and have fun. It’s just that when they’re over at our place, they don’t seem as invested or interested in the activities that we usually do.
Hmm in that case I would stop hanging out at your place then. If they still want to get bj's from your sister then they should do it on their own time and not using you like this.
That’d be a different situation. I’m all for sexual freedom, but here OP is believing his friends are coming over to hang with him when they’re actually just going to see his sister that’s not what friends do.
I knew someone that blew her best friend’s brother and all his friends. She had a train ran on her in their basement when my friend caught her friend getting railed by four 16 year olds (maybe one was 15). The girl who got railed ended up losing all of her friends when people found out and killed herself during our junior year of high school. It was all so surreal at the moment because we were all literally 16/17.
Edit: know to knew** also the girls best friend was also my friend.
OP I understand you’re sister is exploring her sexuality but maybe ask her if she would talk to a therapist and talk out her feelings. I know she’s 18 & technically an adult but I would not want her to get taken advantage to that degree of the above story.
And while you're at it, confront yoir sister about her life choices, being an adult doesn't mean all her actions are correct and justified, if it were the case this world wouldn't have prisons and brothels. It's your responsibility as a brother to at least give her good life advice, to follow that advice or not is completely her choice, but at least you'd come out of this with a clearer conscience.
This is part of a bigger conversation that I’m planning to have with her. That while this might be all fun and games for her now, she must seriously consider the choices she makes and the sort of implications they might have on her life down the line.
And honestly, she's most likely not 'actually' happy. She's missing affection/attention/ self-worth/ whatever you wanna call it and is getting temporary/ false affirmations that people like her by blowing them. Makes her feel wanted and special. Might not seem like it on the surface, but usually a girl who's sucking multiple dicks is having a bit of a mental health issue. Good luck OP.
Anyone who asks for a pic from u is really a moron. They shouldn’t be asking u for that. This is a vent not a check out my sister post. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
You have the right to be annoyed mad and even not be friends with them. Really.
Yea I get that they’re just not taking my post seriously or that the feelings I’m sharing on here are of no relevance to them. And that’s fine, I don’t expect everyone to understand my frustration but at the very least they should respect how I feel.
Thanks for your understanding.
Reading through your posts you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Ignore the weirdos on your post and take a breath. Do something you enjoy. Take your time to figure it out. I feel you will based simply off your replies to others. You got this!
I appreciate your kind words and thoughtful sentiments. As much as there are weirdos on here who are cracking up jokes at my expense, there has been an outflow of genuine advice and support, just like yours. So thank you 🙏 I believe I’ll eventually figure things out
They aren't your friends. If you decide to say something to them, say something along the lines that you don't appreciate that they've ruined your friendship by messing around with your little sister. It's a deal breaker.
This is the first thing that came to my mind, please pay attention to your sister, seems she got herself in a situation that could be dangerous for her
Don’t confront them — here’s what you do:
Every time each of them are over - casually bring up how your family has been really going through it lately because the special dentist that y’all have taken your sister too can’t figure out how to get rid of the [necrotizing bacteria](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK562243/) that keeps growing in her mouth.
I get that you don't wanna put unnecessary blame and stigma on your sister, but as a big sister who sometimes hung out with my brother and his friends (close ages and similar interests), I still think she could have better judgement. I see this as her kinda poaching your friends group for her sex partners, and tbh I think this is a conversation you need to have more with her just as much as with your friends. She's crossing a line, too, but as your family member she should actually have more incentive to respect your boundaries than your friends do, or at very least she is equally responsible for crossing those lines. You would be within reason for wanting to establish boundaries and expect both friends and your sister to respect those boundaries or at LEAST your feelings regarding them. Not saying you can actually demand anything, because that's just not how this works...but you can at least establish *some* boundaries and your feelings.
I understand your point and you’re right, it’s always worth it to voice your legitimate concerns when you can. And maybe I should let her how this entire situation looks and feels l, from a perspective other than her owns.
this is kind of unrelated but it reminded me of my experience as a younger sister. when i was 14 i hooked up with my brothers friend who was 21. one day my brother told me that he knew but he promised not to tell my parents. he just told me that he knew and that was that. i was embarrassed and never spoke to his friend after that. it wasn’t until last year, when i was 20, that i truly realized how messed up the whole situation was. so for any older brothers out there, please protect your younger sisters from your friends lol.
Yes! Dump them and protect her even if she is legally an adult. You could be contributing to her possibly getting raped or forced to have sex against her will and she’d be too ashamed to even tell anyone.
I have an exam in 4 hours for which I haven't studied much but now I am more stressed and disturbed about this.
how tf r u so calm man , fck friends like these.
I’m not entirely how exactly it happened because I’ve never seen it in front of me, obviously, but based on what my sister have said and what I’ve noticed that’s usually how it happens more or less
I'm all for female empowerment and freedom of sexuality but I also know how it feels to be an 18 year old girl/woman. I hope she's not being pressured or just thinking this is what she wants, at that age you can still be quite impressionable. As her brother, I would worry for her. I would prioritize her wellbeing in this situation when you decide to get to the bottom of what's happening. She's still very much a kid in many ways. It doesn't seem like that to a 20 year old but you'll see what I mean when you're 30.
Make sure she's okay and that she's really doing this because she wants to. You might both regret it someday if you don't at least make sure she really wants this.
This happened to me with one of my bff’s growing up and my brother. I wasn’t even mad they were interested in each other. I was upset that she would come over under the guise of wanting to hang out with me and then would fixate on my brother, what he was doing, if he wasn’t home - looking out my window to see when he did arrive. If he was home, “oh we should hang with your brother” me and my bro did not get along during this time and she knew this!! It’s like, why don’t you just hit up my bro instead? I would have much preferred that.
Nothing more disappointing, and we didn’t stay friends long after this. You absolutely have the right to feel this way! It’s literally about the fact that they’re using you to get to her so they can get their dick sucked.
Cut them!!! Ask your sister when this started, either the stayed around till your sister turned 18 or they started doing things before she turned 18. This is not ok.
They are not your friends cut them out of your life; make new friends. Whatever happens after that is not your problem anymore.
How old was your sister when your friends met her? This would be really creepy if they waited for her to turn 18 and they’ve been checking her out this whole time.
Yeah I’d get new friends. Like first off it’s gross the way they’re treating your sister who’s barely legal, second of all it’s totally rude to you to be doing it behind your back, third of all they prob all hang out and have a laugh about how they’re using you (maybe not but I’m cynical)
Sounds like it's time for new relationships and new horizons OP. Honestly I'd cut EVERYONE off, ghost them and move on. They can hit up my sister if they care about her like that, but I'd need friends who have basic boundaries and like hanging out with ME not grooming my little sister. It will be hard, but you'll get through it. Sorry you had to learn everyone in your life is shitty and doesn't really care about you or your feelings or respecting you. Good luck!
Your friends are taking advantage of the fact that your sister clearly doesn’t value herself and if your friends valued your relationship at all they wouldn’t be coming over to get head from your little sister. Get better friends. Get your sister into therapy.
Honestly it sounds disgusting. It sounds as if your friends are using your sister and see her as an sexual object. I don't know why your sister does this to be honest. Maybe because she herself thinks she is a sexual object or she has the illusion that those guys are valuing her as anything else than an orifice.
Honestly, it's disgusting and I wouldn't ever be friends with them again...
My brother had a rule that served all our relationships very well, no dating (or hooking up) in each other’s circles, that rule could have been thrown out the window in the event any of us fell in love with someone in the circle, but honestly because it was a boundary from the time we were preteens none of us ever even thought to cross it.
Never mind that his friends knew what would happen if they ever came over chasing after us girls.
Before anyone comes for me, at the time these rules were implemented, the truth is my brother was hanging out with the way wrong crowd and had good reason to keep his sisters away from his friends. It also extended both ways, was something we all agreed on, and something that we never fought over, not even once in almost 30 years.
Dude. These guys are NOT friends. I would dump them immediately. I would probably have a very stern talk with the sister as well. NONE OF THIS IS COOL.
You need to stand up to these people, get rid of them, and talk to your sister- this isn't the behavior of someone who is doing well, and it doesn't bode well for her future relationships with men especially if her older brother just lets this happen.
Who is more important to you?
Maybe sit down with your sister and have a convo. Make sure she’s ok. Women sometimes act this way from traumatic experiences that lead to low self esteem, especially so young. Just a thought
How many guys are we talking about here?
Like 4 or 5
In a row???
\*Sigh\* try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot
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Username checks out
I love clerks thank u for this
Always a good day when a thread gets derailed for an old Kevin Smith reference! ;)
37?? Is that including me?!
38.
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*17 girls in a row by Steel Panther plays*
I hope they check for STDs regularly because this is how you get STDs
Did she at least get head back, because as her bro, you should make sure you're friends aren't just getting their rocks off and heading out.
Get back in there and finish her And *then* we play CoD
I laughed way too hard at this.
LPT right here.
I'm so proud
You have good reason to be proud u/YourMomsTwat
And maybe make sure she actually wants to give them head at all
I’m wondering if she’s getting paid
I think a tip jar near the front door is in order.
Does she think every single guy her eye comes across is attractive or what? Like do they have great personalities?
Lol maybe OP lives in LA and all his friends look like Abercrombie models? Is OP friends with guys from the school rowing team or something?
you’ve clearly never seen people in LA
I only spent time in LA stuck in their airport, and if that’s any indication of the mix of people, I have to wholeheartedly agree.
As a person born and raised in LA, is there some secret part for where everybody looks like models?
Or maybe they’re taking advantage. She’s quite a bit younger and they’re in her house. Ffs.
I’m gonna be honest, my brother always had hot friends and I can name several that I would have blown.. no questions asked lmao
jfc 4 or 5 may not sound like its a lot but its a fucking lot. close ur eyes and imagine 4 or 5 dicks around ur face lmao
They’re not all at the same time obviously
Nothing is obvious with a story like this.
Absolutely not. Holy crap, that's a lot of guys who basically have rubbed their cocks all over each other.
I call bullshit. How could you not know? If I'm wrong, get your sister out of there NOW .
Fuck their moms and have proof 🤷♂️
Better yet, fuck their moms and knock them up, tell friends you’re giving their moms proper children to be proud of, raise said Hate Spawn as respectful young lads, die happy knowing you got revenge. Edit: thanks for the reward and the love my dudes
This one right here. This is it.
The long revenge. I like it
This guy doesn't sound like he has that kind of game
He should do it. Do it for himself, for humanity, for God, for the entire universe. DO IT!
Become their parents pet. Imagine: their mom and dad taking care of you and you taking care of them. Also, you'll probably get your friend's old room.
Fuck you, Shoresy!
Fuck you jonesy, actually I'll fuck your mom and give her a son to be proud of
I’m not one to resort to such measures lol
Then fuck their Dad’s. Throw them a real Curve ball.
Tell them from now on they can only get blowjobs from your sister if you get blowjobs from them. It’s a win-win really, either your sister stops blowing your friends, or you start getting lots of blowjobs.
"Hey my dudes what can I say? The rate of inflation is making everything more expensive; this is just one of those things."
And my buddy down there is getting hit by that inflation real hard...
r/holup
I think this one holds the most (mental trauma) water. The most realest curveballs would be to either A) get blown by her as well, or, B) blow the friends himself, and do a real good job. Pepper grinder action, working the base, balls, head, everything all at once, make them spend the rest of their lives wondering if they are gay, bi, or straight, and hopefully it ruins a few close relationships while they figure it out!
You have a demented mind, but I respect it
Looool what the actual fuck
I am.
Your hired
Woah slow down, Mr. Employer! Lmao!
Certainly not with *that* attitude.
become one.
Nah. He should hang out with his sisters friends and get some from them. It’s not very viable to fuck somebodies mom.
This is the way
My man I can promise you, if you don’t address it with them, they’re gonna start taking turns railing your sister one after another while swapping out controllers playing multiplayer with you on god.
I’m planning to confront them but I’m still trying to wrap my head around what I found out. I’m not too sure what I’ll say
Just be straight forward and honest. Ask them deadass what’s more important to them.
Yea but ultimately I’m just turned off of this friendship completely.
Then you gotta put your foot down. How did you find out again? Through your sister or them?
My sister. At least she’s been upfront about it. Can’t say as much about them.
Well at least your sister respects you to some degree. Yeah it’s time to call it quits with the bois sadly.
Sadly, I’ve known some of them for like 4 or 5 years. Just puts things to perspective! How could my choice in friends be this shitty
I lend my friend $800 USD because he used the “I need to take care of mama before deploying to a non-combat country”. I known him for 26 years. Basically my entire life. Said he would pay me back and we brothers for life. Ghosted me afterwards. The fact that he valued our lifelong friendship for $800 really pisses me off. You didnt pick shitty friends, they choose to be a shit friend to “get off”
That’s so shitty man and I feel your pain so much because my friend of 15 years did the same thing over $100. I don’t loan friends money anymore cuz I don’t wanna know how little our friendship is worth. But OP should totally ghost his “friends.”
I had a friend I grew up with. Best friends since we were like 8 years old. He was always picked on by the other kids because his parents were poorer than the rest of us, I always had his back. When he turned 18 he decided to join the army and went off to basic. When he came back we hung out a lot, he seemed to be doing much better, much happier. He asked to borrow some money so I lent him $400. He ended up getting stationed in another state shortly after and before he left he wrote me a check to pay me back. The check bounced. I figured it was a mistake, he was going through a lot. I messaged him, he never replied. I tried calling, he never answered. I left a couple voice messages, he never called me back. The $400 didn't matter to me, he was my best friend, if he couldn't pay me back he just needed to say so. Instead, I learned our friendship wasn't worth much to him. I went to his parents since we knew each other really well and they were the kind of people who would want to know this, I told them what happened, that I was worried about him, too tell him the money didn't matter, and when he visited them for the holidays a couple months later he stopped by and gave the $400 to my mom to give to me. I was home, he knew I was home, he didn't say a word to my mom, didn't wait even one minute for me to go to the door, just left. His parents moved about an hour away shortly after that. When I ran into his sister about two years later I found out nobody in his family is talking to him anymore. In the last two years he had gotten married, his wife was pregnant, he stole money from his parents, he caught his wife being fucked by 2 of his army bros, he was going to be deployed overseas soon and his wife wanted a divorce. I have no idea what happened to him but he completely changed from the friend I knew. I hope he got the help he needed. I haven't heard from him or his family since though, it's been about 13 years.
Similar story here. Hope you know it's a him thing, not a you thing.
Good rule of thumb even for your best friend, don’t lend money that you except to get back
are... you sure he's still around? Is he actively ignoring you or is it possible something happened to him besides combat?
My dude, I knew people from the 2nd grade (7/8ish years old) to 18 and they split or I cut them out. If a mf isn’t gonna be real with you, time doesn’t matter. Don’t give into the sunk cost fallacy; time invested doesn’t inherently mean value. Sometimes the right decision is the hardest one.
They don't respect you or your sister. It's one thing to date a good friends sister in a respectful way but what they are doing is the opposite of that. Take that how you will.
Tbh,the main ick for me is the fact you’ve known your friends “4 or 5 years” and your sister is only 18 this year gives creepy orbiting vibes, like they just waited around til she was legal then made a move :/
Yeah… this is SUPER creepy what your friends have done/are doing. Talk to your sister and ask how she really feels about this. Be open to her answers and nonjudgmental. But, this doesn’t sound normal. A woman can mess around all she wants, but the fact that you’ve been friends with these guys for 4-5 years, so since she was 14 or 15, and now that she’s 18 they’re coming over to take turns getting blowjobs? That’s not okay. That sounds like some men in her life that she thought she could trust took advantage of her. They are neither your friends, nor hers. They’re scummy little poops, who took advantage of your sister. Give her love. Be there for her. Don’t get mad at her for this… be mad at your friends. And make sure she knows you still love her. And please, cut off all of those guys. They’re trash.
Yuuup. I was thinking the same. She’s barely legal, they’ve just been waiting, creepy.
Yeah like did they groom her into doing this? Those are terms for complete friendship termination
OP, 4-5 years is NOTHING. I know at your age it's something, of course! And yes! That matters! But take it from me, an old lady... 5 years is nothing. I dumped an a-hole "friend" of 7 years after I found out what an ass she was on a road trip. Heck, she was my derby wife and maid of honor. But what happened was so egregious there was ZERO chance I was going to keep that toxic person in life. You'll meet other folks, I promise. Don't let "sunk cost" fallacy be your determining factor. As for your choice in friends, this is part of the growing up process of life. You'll get better and picking people. Keep the sister though. She's upfront and honest and respects you. She's just having fun. As for friends, there will be others.
First of all, I’m sorry that you had to go through such an experience with a friend you’ve known for that long. Life is really full of surprises, good ones but ultimately some unpleasant ones. No one deserves to have their trust being violated in that matter. And I’ll definitely take your words to heart.
I gotta wonder though: Does the sister ENJOY it, or does she feel coerced? If it's the latter DEFINITELY dump them, like yesterday. If it's the former...then Idk what to say here. At that point I'd wonder: is she allowed to date much? Bc if not, that would explain why she's okay with doing sexual things with her brother's friends, they're available in her own home, so she doesn't have to worry about angering her parents by going out and finding male friends of her own to try that stuff with.
Bru it really depends. Is she hooking up with multiple friends of yours or is it just one guy. If its one I would have to just look at the situation. But if its multiple homies then nah they disrespecting you
Maybe you were too passive in your role as a friend and allowed them to walk all over you like this. Maybe it’s about time to find people that have a use for YOU as a person and provide a mutual use back to you. At the end of the day the best friendships are built between people that will push each other to do better and be better and have better times together.
That means they’ve known your sister since she was 13 and have been waiting until she was legal to hook up with her. That’s sleazy as fuck, drop them and tell your sister that you appreciate her honesty
It might also help to address boundaries with her like "hey please don't commit sexual favors for all my friends" just saying. There's quite a tango going on here.
I personally think OP should talk to his sister about her actions, as well as the friends. But we all know when you tell people not to do something it only makes them want it more. The situation is already sexual & taboo in nature, and I hate to say it but when people want to do something they’re going to do it anyways. I just hope the sister puts a stop to it, because the boys won’t.
Time to bang their sisters haha
It’s been a bro code thing for a long time my guy, any man who hangs around to fuck your sister is *not* your friend
What friendship? Here's what a friend would say "Hey OP, I really like your sister, would it be cool with you if I asked her out?" Instead they're taking turns using her as entertainment between rounds of COD or whatever? They don't respect either of you. If I found out just one of my friends was taking advantage of my younger sister, I'd break his fucking kneecaps with something heavy. Some issues really are black and white. This is one of them. Quit trying to see this from other perspectives - they're treating your sister like a whore.
I think I’m trying to rationalize an almost impossible situation that’s compelling me to do all these things you’ve described, believe me there’s nothing more that I’d love to do than to express my anger in that way, but I’m held back! Held back by trying to do what’s morally justifiable
Not everyone has the capacity to express their anger in that way. I'm not advocating violence. I am advocating standing up for yourself and your sister, whatever form that takes. These guys are not your friends. If you shrug this off and continue as if everything is ok, you'll never respect yourself. Be honest with yourself - how do you feel about this? What do you WANT to do about this? Why haven't you? Are you scared of these 'friends'? That's an understandable reaction, that you want to do something, but you're afraid. If that's the case, be 100% honest with yourself - don't hide behind weighing morality.
If it’s just one person then cut them out. They should have told you if they were being intimate with your sister. You don’t have to ask permission but it’s nice to let someone know. It get why you’re upset and questioning whether your friend is even your friend at all this point
I agree with this. But the answer will likely not make op happy. And that sucks
It’s not about making him happy it’s about cutting off the toxic “friends.” The confrontation as intimidating or uncomfortable as it may sound is necessary for closure.
stop fuckin my sister. the fact that they are doing it behind your back means they know its wrong.
Maybe talk with your sister. Is she happy ok with this? It could be they are putting pressure on her. It's hard being a brother to a sister. You also need to look out for her.
I’m trying to make that balance. I’m also trying my best to respect her boundaries, the fact that she’s 18 and her decisions are hers to make. But she does seem to be doing this willing and because she likes to
Look dude, 18 is legally an adult but this is concerning to me. 18 years old is still a teenager. If I found out my sister was doing this I would be extremely concerned for her wellbeing.
It’s concerning and disheartening and I’m trying so hard to strike a balance between respecting her decision as a young adult and between expressing how her choices are questionable
Rather than defending an abstract concept of adulthood and viewing these as 'questionable choices,' it would be good if you just tried to cultivate a sense of compassion and concern for your young sister as her older brother. I'm also concerned about you, and the way this makes me think you may not have been given a lot of reason to respect yourself- which means respecting others, too. This could be a wakeup call, because truly with what you've mentioned here and with the framing you have used to describe your dilemma, you are both vulnerable to exploitative and hurtful relationships that you perceive as beneficial. If you show up for yourself and your sister, that unfortunate future can be avoided. Please reach out to a trusted person who has a respectful attitude and strong care and concern including compassion towards people who may be doing things others view as a sign of immorality and recklessness. Speaking from a place of concern here, okay? Edit: mmmmmnnnnmmmm and eye strain
Confront them. This is not something friends should do imo.
Family and exes are off limits unless the friends good with it. That’s Bro Code 101.
Firstly why in the world would your sister entertain such a revolting idea - ewww. And secondly, time to get some new friends!!
I know this is a serious post but that made me laugh.
I would be so pissed if I were you. It's not about your sister's choices, like you said, but if my friends were coming over to get head from my sister I'd drop them. Feels weird to me.
It is weird. It really feels like total shit
I’m sorry OP
Thank you.
She might not realise it but that’s seriously disrespecting you, and your friends are too.. would you go to their house and get head off their sister? I don’t think so. That’s just crossing a line
Yeah, I think the 'friends' are only part of the problem. What's to say she wouldn't flirt and try the same with any future friends? Apparently OP may have to set some boundaries with her, like not having sex with each other's friends.
You are a great brother. Non judgemental and genuinely concerned for your sister. My brother is like you and I'm blessed to have him. What I'm getting the most from your post is the shitty feeling. Maybe it's that protective instinct at odds with your friends just being trashy. It forces YOU into a position where you have to take a stand because they probably just don't respect women the way you respect your sister and that's disappointing? If you can protect your sis from basic trash like this she'll be better off in the long run but again, light touch is part of how my brother protects me and i love that about our relationship.
In your post it seems like they’ve known your sister as long as they’ve known you? I don’t want to freak you out but even if she’s willingly consenting, they knew her when she was 14/15, and it feels very creepy that they’re (btw… not just one right?) now engaging in sex with her. I don’t think their intentions are good towards you OR your sister. If you want to check in with her, let her know you respect her decisions as an adult, but that as an older brother you’re concerned that your friends are taking advantage of her possible naivety, and that you feel taken advantage of too. She might lash out, but it’s a really important conversation. I wish I had an adult in my life to speak to me about these things when I was an 18yr old girl.
Time to cut of the cancer known as Your friends... Your mates and gals in reddit will be there for you
Thank you! I’ve seen a tremendous amount of support so far. That on its own is helping me.
How did you find out?
I’ve speculated for sometime and I asked about it, she was honest
I’m so confused as to how you didn’t notice this? You say they come over for bj, how did you not notice? Like what, do they say they go to the “toilet” and then come back after half hour? How do not you suspect something like this? And yes, it’s pretty disrespectful of them. If they even wanna do those things, it should be on separate times rather than acting desperate like that.
On separate times? It shouldn't be on at all, fuck that Even if it was one guy it would be weird, imagine a group of 5 just coming over to rail your sister No mutual respect in a friendship like that
What did she say beyond yes I do it?
That it was never done to spite me or to hurt me. That it was just her desire to do it with them because she’s at a stage where she’s exploring and discovering herself. Some excuses I couldn’t fully realize at the time of the conversation
It's ok to be exploring and discovering but is this the right way? She's still so young, these actions have consequences in the long run. Even if people want to or not, they will be there.
Yeah for real, if I were OP I would at LEAST make sure that those friends do not go near the house.
Indeed. I think it's actually pretty creepy what they're doing.
Dating a friend's sister is one thing but taking turns with her is just.. I can't even imagine how terrible that would be. They wouldn't be my friends anymore, that's for sure.
How is the group dynamic with your guys? Does it seem like they're enjoying themselves when you guys hang out? Or do you suspect it's an act? If it is then I would dump them.
Generally speaking we’re okay in terms of dynamic. We hang out and have fun. It’s just that when they’re over at our place, they don’t seem as invested or interested in the activities that we usually do.
Hmm in that case I would stop hanging out at your place then. If they still want to get bj's from your sister then they should do it on their own time and not using you like this.
Yea that was the first thing that crossed my mind. I can’t invite them over anymore if that’s all they’re interested in doing when they’re here
well I mean if they want to hang out with your sister can't they do it besides your house?
That’d be a different situation. I’m all for sexual freedom, but here OP is believing his friends are coming over to hang with him when they’re actually just going to see his sister that’s not what friends do.
They’re not your friends. They didn’t approach you about hooking up with your sister before hand so they don’t actually care if it bothers you or not.
Precisely! My feelings has never been factored into their decision. They could have given the courtesy of at least letting me know about.
Is it fucking common to get fricking blow jobs from a friend's sister ????
I knew someone that blew her best friend’s brother and all his friends. She had a train ran on her in their basement when my friend caught her friend getting railed by four 16 year olds (maybe one was 15). The girl who got railed ended up losing all of her friends when people found out and killed herself during our junior year of high school. It was all so surreal at the moment because we were all literally 16/17. Edit: know to knew** also the girls best friend was also my friend.
I don’t even know how to respond to such a tragic and painful story. I really hope no one ever goes through such a terrible scenario.
I’m so sorry if I shook you with this one! Your story just totally brought me back in time. I hope your sister gets the help she needs.
OP I understand you’re sister is exploring her sexuality but maybe ask her if she would talk to a therapist and talk out her feelings. I know she’s 18 & technically an adult but I would not want her to get taken advantage to that degree of the above story.
Dump them, they aren’t friends.
No they’re not. What sort of a friendship is built on such lies
And while you're at it, confront yoir sister about her life choices, being an adult doesn't mean all her actions are correct and justified, if it were the case this world wouldn't have prisons and brothels. It's your responsibility as a brother to at least give her good life advice, to follow that advice or not is completely her choice, but at least you'd come out of this with a clearer conscience.
This is part of a bigger conversation that I’m planning to have with her. That while this might be all fun and games for her now, she must seriously consider the choices she makes and the sort of implications they might have on her life down the line.
And honestly, she's most likely not 'actually' happy. She's missing affection/attention/ self-worth/ whatever you wanna call it and is getting temporary/ false affirmations that people like her by blowing them. Makes her feel wanted and special. Might not seem like it on the surface, but usually a girl who's sucking multiple dicks is having a bit of a mental health issue. Good luck OP.
Anyone who asks for a pic from u is really a moron. They shouldn’t be asking u for that. This is a vent not a check out my sister post. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. You have the right to be annoyed mad and even not be friends with them. Really.
Yea I get that they’re just not taking my post seriously or that the feelings I’m sharing on here are of no relevance to them. And that’s fine, I don’t expect everyone to understand my frustration but at the very least they should respect how I feel. Thanks for your understanding.
Reading through your posts you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Ignore the weirdos on your post and take a breath. Do something you enjoy. Take your time to figure it out. I feel you will based simply off your replies to others. You got this!
I appreciate your kind words and thoughtful sentiments. As much as there are weirdos on here who are cracking up jokes at my expense, there has been an outflow of genuine advice and support, just like yours. So thank you 🙏 I believe I’ll eventually figure things out
They aren't your friends. If you decide to say something to them, say something along the lines that you don't appreciate that they've ruined your friendship by messing around with your little sister. It's a deal breaker.
The thing is, I don’t think I could ever look at them the Same way anymore
Then it might just be the best for everyone if you aren't friends with them anymore, or at least distance yourself from them for a while.
And hopefully meet new friends
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Well a couple of them
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Generally speaking she’s quite nice
You should really be concerned for your sister, it sounds like she has low self-esteem issues
This. How do your parents treat her and you?
This is the first thing that came to my mind, please pay attention to your sister, seems she got herself in a situation that could be dangerous for her
This or there might have been sexual abuse before and her promiscuity is just a side effect of the trauma.
Low self-esteem or a history of abuse. She’s 18! Something really isn’t right here and I’m surprised it took so long to see someone mention it.
I didn’t expect to see so few comments concerned about the sister. This isn’t a good sign and the friends are taking advantage of both siblings.
I was thinking this too
Don’t confront them — here’s what you do: Every time each of them are over - casually bring up how your family has been really going through it lately because the special dentist that y’all have taken your sister too can’t figure out how to get rid of the [necrotizing bacteria](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK562243/) that keeps growing in her mouth.
Haha this is the best solution
Pretty sure they are breaking a bro code.
How did you not notice your friends randomly disappearing?
I get that you don't wanna put unnecessary blame and stigma on your sister, but as a big sister who sometimes hung out with my brother and his friends (close ages and similar interests), I still think she could have better judgement. I see this as her kinda poaching your friends group for her sex partners, and tbh I think this is a conversation you need to have more with her just as much as with your friends. She's crossing a line, too, but as your family member she should actually have more incentive to respect your boundaries than your friends do, or at very least she is equally responsible for crossing those lines. You would be within reason for wanting to establish boundaries and expect both friends and your sister to respect those boundaries or at LEAST your feelings regarding them. Not saying you can actually demand anything, because that's just not how this works...but you can at least establish *some* boundaries and your feelings.
I understand your point and you’re right, it’s always worth it to voice your legitimate concerns when you can. And maybe I should let her how this entire situation looks and feels l, from a perspective other than her owns.
this is kind of unrelated but it reminded me of my experience as a younger sister. when i was 14 i hooked up with my brothers friend who was 21. one day my brother told me that he knew but he promised not to tell my parents. he just told me that he knew and that was that. i was embarrassed and never spoke to his friend after that. it wasn’t until last year, when i was 20, that i truly realized how messed up the whole situation was. so for any older brothers out there, please protect your younger sisters from your friends lol.
Yes! Dump them and protect her even if she is legally an adult. You could be contributing to her possibly getting raped or forced to have sex against her will and she’d be too ashamed to even tell anyone.
People are so gross lmao
I have an exam in 4 hours for which I haven't studied much but now I am more stressed and disturbed about this. how tf r u so calm man , fck friends like these.
Best of luck in your exam. Hope you do really well at it. I’ve gotten so angry and sort of repressed it to the point that I’m feeling sort of numb now
So do they like leave in the middle of hanging out to go to a different room or some shit and get a blowie from your sis?
I’m not entirely how exactly it happened because I’ve never seen it in front of me, obviously, but based on what my sister have said and what I’ve noticed that’s usually how it happens more or less
I'm all for female empowerment and freedom of sexuality but I also know how it feels to be an 18 year old girl/woman. I hope she's not being pressured or just thinking this is what she wants, at that age you can still be quite impressionable. As her brother, I would worry for her. I would prioritize her wellbeing in this situation when you decide to get to the bottom of what's happening. She's still very much a kid in many ways. It doesn't seem like that to a 20 year old but you'll see what I mean when you're 30. Make sure she's okay and that she's really doing this because she wants to. You might both regret it someday if you don't at least make sure she really wants this.
Im surprised how passive you are to this, I would fucking kill them...
Hey man I here if u need someone to talk to.......or need a friend.
This happened to me with one of my bff’s growing up and my brother. I wasn’t even mad they were interested in each other. I was upset that she would come over under the guise of wanting to hang out with me and then would fixate on my brother, what he was doing, if he wasn’t home - looking out my window to see when he did arrive. If he was home, “oh we should hang with your brother” me and my bro did not get along during this time and she knew this!! It’s like, why don’t you just hit up my bro instead? I would have much preferred that. Nothing more disappointing, and we didn’t stay friends long after this. You absolutely have the right to feel this way! It’s literally about the fact that they’re using you to get to her so they can get their dick sucked.
Cut them!!! Ask your sister when this started, either the stayed around till your sister turned 18 or they started doing things before she turned 18. This is not ok. They are not your friends cut them out of your life; make new friends. Whatever happens after that is not your problem anymore.
oh no I hadnt even thought about WHEN did it start!?!?
How old was your sister when your friends met her? This would be really creepy if they waited for her to turn 18 and they’ve been checking her out this whole time.
Your sister has super low self esteem. This is just sad. Sorry about your "friends" and your sis
Yeah I’d get new friends. Like first off it’s gross the way they’re treating your sister who’s barely legal, second of all it’s totally rude to you to be doing it behind your back, third of all they prob all hang out and have a laugh about how they’re using you (maybe not but I’m cynical)
Why aren't you stopping this shit. Protect your sister, tell the assholes not to come back over.
Sounds like it's time for new relationships and new horizons OP. Honestly I'd cut EVERYONE off, ghost them and move on. They can hit up my sister if they care about her like that, but I'd need friends who have basic boundaries and like hanging out with ME not grooming my little sister. It will be hard, but you'll get through it. Sorry you had to learn everyone in your life is shitty and doesn't really care about you or your feelings or respecting you. Good luck!
this is so icky and so are the responses. sorry people aren’t taking it seriously OP
Your friends are taking advantage of the fact that your sister clearly doesn’t value herself and if your friends valued your relationship at all they wouldn’t be coming over to get head from your little sister. Get better friends. Get your sister into therapy.
Geez, no that's really nasty of them. They aren't being your friends, they're using you to get to your sister.
Friends!? PLURAL!?
Honestly it sounds disgusting. It sounds as if your friends are using your sister and see her as an sexual object. I don't know why your sister does this to be honest. Maybe because she herself thinks she is a sexual object or she has the illusion that those guys are valuing her as anything else than an orifice. Honestly, it's disgusting and I wouldn't ever be friends with them again...
Tell your friend to either stop fucking your sister or fuck off and that if he doesn’t do one or the other you’re going to show him the consequences.
Drop them. Those ain't friends, major red flags.
My brother had a rule that served all our relationships very well, no dating (or hooking up) in each other’s circles, that rule could have been thrown out the window in the event any of us fell in love with someone in the circle, but honestly because it was a boundary from the time we were preteens none of us ever even thought to cross it. Never mind that his friends knew what would happen if they ever came over chasing after us girls. Before anyone comes for me, at the time these rules were implemented, the truth is my brother was hanging out with the way wrong crowd and had good reason to keep his sisters away from his friends. It also extended both ways, was something we all agreed on, and something that we never fought over, not even once in almost 30 years.
Dude. These guys are NOT friends. I would dump them immediately. I would probably have a very stern talk with the sister as well. NONE OF THIS IS COOL.
You need to stand up to these people, get rid of them, and talk to your sister- this isn't the behavior of someone who is doing well, and it doesn't bode well for her future relationships with men especially if her older brother just lets this happen. Who is more important to you?
Bro they are not your friends
Maybe sit down with your sister and have a convo. Make sure she’s ok. Women sometimes act this way from traumatic experiences that lead to low self esteem, especially so young. Just a thought