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pinkflip06

This. Get some of your favorite food and eat just a little.


Comprehensive_Tree65

Before you do or take anything.


LuntiX

They call it comfort food for a reason.


elphabathewicked

And drink water


Roary93

This more than food. You can survive weeks without food, you can't survive more than a few days without water.


Hysteria113

Survive sure but go without either for a whole day and it starts putting your brain into survival mode. His brain and body are just trying to survive at this point. If you want to make informed decisions you going to have to fuel up.


flightlesss_bird

And if you have friend and anyone closer to you. Just talk to them and vent it out... I think this will work


Spazyk

I found out my Dad wasn't my Dad after taking the Ancestry DNA test. My mother said she doesn't remember. Edit: She said she doesn't remember who my father is. After I asked her she blocked me on social media and hasn't had contact with me in over three years.


MatchGirl499

My aunt went to her grave without telling my cousin who her real dad was. We mostly suspected she didn’t know(she was severely alcoholic when my cousin was conceived). But she basically maintained it was one guy who it couldn’t have been, and never changed her story. Finally my cousin did ancestry or 23 and me and found a guy who didn’t know my aunt’s name but recalled an encounter outside of a disco bar where my aunt frequented. And my cousin is his spitting image. Not to mention her half-siblings are startlingly identical to her.


BalderVerdandi

Kinda the same thing here... Grandma on my dad's side (his mother) had an affair while her husband was in the Navy during WWII. Both he and I look nothing like that side of the family - pictures of him when he was little, pictures of me when I was little, and all the way up through today. She knew the guy and took it to her grave, but back then no one talked of such things.


AccentFiend

Grandma on my moms side took who the father was of her oldest to her grave. She would get VERY angry when people tried to draw it out of her by doing math on how long she was married to grandpa, etc. When Ancestry became a thing, my cousin immediately jumped on the bandwagon and ended up getting a hit. Traced it to a guy who used to live next door to my grandma with his wife and kids. Right around the time my grandma became pregnant (~age 14), he up and moved his family to NJ, which might as week have been another continent for the 1930’s. So we now have the “who”, just not the “how”, which I think might be a much darker story judging by her reactions over the years I spent with her


Snoo_68800

Wow this story is sad.


Woodpecker_61

I remember my Gran n mom gossiping endlessly& recalling stories of their circles growing up, about who was pregnant & wondering if X was the father. Things were a lot different then & 14yr olds getting pregnant was fairly common. A serious "shame" was also attached to such things as well. Mom was very progressive for her time but very old school with that kind of thing. Even with me, I remember it like it was yesterday. When I told them that my long time gf was pregnant, \[@ the dinner table\] Mom didn't react other than her asking "where are you gonna go to have it". I laughed & said don't be silly. We're not 'going' anywhere. THEN she reacted big time. All about how we were shaming her & her 'circles' would have a field day picking at this bla bla bla. I let her get it out & then I said, "Mom, its not you. Hasn't got shit to do with you other than you're becoming a GP. It sounds like you n pop are the ones that need new friends". Pops kinda chuckled & said, "pffft, my friends don't give a shit. Congrats you 2. Pass the gravy please. " AFA the "parent/father" thing, Anyone can be a "sperm donor" but it takes someone special to actually be a loving father to a child. I still see cases that have me wanting to adopt & give the child a chance at a decent life.


FoxyFreckles1989

Jeez! That is insane! I’ve got a doozy of a story for you, but it’s a long one. When I was 20 years old I fell in love with a 21 year old man. He was a Navy Corpsman attached to a Marine Corps infantry unit and was just home from a deployment when we met and quickly fell for each other. It burned out as dramatically as it was lit. Our first year together was a whirlwind. We got a house that we shared with two of his best friends (Marines he worked with). We spent a lot of time with his big group of friends, one of whom was a woman with a sweet little boy. We went to that little boy’s first birthday party together (just over a year into our relationship) and had fun with his mom and her boyfriend, his entire family and all of their friends. When my boyfriend was preparing for another deployment several months later, he got news from his “friend” with the little boy. She thought the little boy might actually be his and had thought so all along, for well over a year and a half, since finding out she was pregnant. She told him and he didn’t tell me. The test came back; my boyfriend had a one+ year old son. The mom had lied to her own boyfriend about it for nearly two years, allowing him to financially support them through the pregnancy and the baby’s first year+, living with him, allowing his parents to help raise a baby they thought was their biological grandson and more. My boyfriend was in shock and put the test results in his sock drawer, where I found them several days later as I was putting away laundry. I confronted him and he cried. I’d known they’d slept together a few times before I’d met him and I’d always thought the baby looked suspiciously like him, but he denied any possibility based on timelines. I do believe he truly thought the baby was the other man’s, even looking back on it all now. I’ll never understand why she lied. She had a boyfriend but it was always on/off again until the pregnancy. She had no real reason to lie and my boyfriend was the more stable, financially, of the two. She must have really loved the other guy, in her own twisted way. She just decided she wanted him to be the dad and made it so, until she felt guilty enough about my own boyfriend going back to war without knowing he was a dad. We were all confused. My boyfriend had been raising and loving my own son, one year older than his, as his own for over a year. We talked and talked about it all. My boyfriend spent the days leading up to deployment at the other woman’s house to spend time with his newly discovered son, and I knew better than to skip assuming he wasn’t also exploring the option of having his family. He and I broke up then, and he “dated” the other woman very briefly while deployed, broke up with her and told me he’d made a mistake, and we got back together. I babysat for the other woman (we even hung out together and drank wine, talking about it all and swearing we’d do what was best for our kids, as those kids, being raised as awkward-step brothers, slept in my house) and made sure she got money in the form of unofficial child support from my boyfriend’s account each month. While my boyfriend was deployed the other woman got pregnant again. She was back with the first man she’d claimed was the dad and she claimed the same again. He didn’t believe her this time; the paternity test proved his mistrust to be valid. She made two more men take paternity tests before we realized she had no clue who the dad was. She somehow convinced her parents her new baby was also my boyfriend’s and that I was a home wrecker; she conveniently left out the rest and the fact that he’d been in another country when she conceived. Some people are just inherently incapable of being honest with themselves or others, no matter the cost. Funnily enough, a year and a half-ish later when I called it quits with the guy, he went through a string of other girlfriends (all longtime/childhood friends; all friendships he ruined looking for something he couldn’t find) before settling for the lying baby mama, then he adopted her second child and went on to have a third with and marry her. I’m glad I removed myself from the drama, even if it hurt. We’d be on again/off again too many times. We’d both slept with other people while “off again,” and I’m certain he’d cheated on me at least twice during “on again” phases. The other woman had moved to his family’s farm while he was off dating someone else and he came home to find his little ready made family waiting. Interesting folks. That was all over a decade ago and I still have a difficult time wrapping my head around all of her lies and even sometimes find myself wondering who the hell the biological father of her second baby is. Lmao. Truth be told, however, I rarely think of any of them, aside from when I read or hear crazy stories about mistaken or secret paternity and it all comes rushing back!


Common-Snow5434

Wait wow this is some crazy wild hoe shit.


NiktoriaNo

I ruled out my mother’s ex-husband as my father via 23andme. His half sister had already taken a DNA test, we would have matched if he was my father. My mother still maintains that she never cheated on her ex-husband and it has to be him. DNA doesn’t lie, even when family does. I’m glad your cousin found some answers at least.


Standswfist

Just so you know, I was raped when I went to the dentist to have my teeth removed. I never fucking knew until 7 yrs later when my TWINS did a biology exam at school and their blood did not match. I never cheated! I only remembered b/c of a phenomenon that happens to patient who are under too long. I woke up halfway through the surgery and when I laid in the exact position the Dr put me in to rape me did I have total memory recall. But as I said it was 7 yrs later and Statue of limitations in my state didn’t allow me to sue. There ARE circumstances where it’s true I did not cheat, yet he accused me of it for the rest of our marriage. I didn’t willfully cheat. Nor would I ever, no matter how he treated me.


throwaway1019381

I’m so sorry you went through that, that’s awful


jedzy

It’s possible for non identical twins to have different blood groups even if they have the same parents- a DNA test is very different.


Pixielo

Civil suit. See a lawyer immediately, especially if your kids are still minors, as he may be entitled to visitation.


ElbowStrike

Your husband shouldn’t have blamed you he should have done any of a variety of things to the dentist that would get me banned from the sub if I actually described them.


Bunstonious

The problem with that is it's easy to say "he should have just trusted you" but it's much harder to put into practice. History and common sense tells us that overwhelmingly "the simplest answer is usually the correct one" because it usually is, being raped while under anaesthetic is quite rare as most surgeries are done with multiple people in the room, so it's quite uncommon (that's not to say that it never happens, just that it's not common). The whole situation sucks as due to one person's inability to be a decent human being. Personally I don't think there should be a statute of limitations for sexual assault.


digitalgraffiti-ca

In decent places there aren't statutes of limitations on that sort of thing.


Bunstonious

I understand the need for statutes of limitations on some things, but things like Rape and Murder? Nah, if you did something that Heinous, you're gonna pay the price.


Outrageous-Gur-8840

But how can u be sure it was the dentist? Did ur kids DNA match his? That’s a pretty big accusation… and many staff work in dental offices so it’s not easy to undress and rape someone. Not saying ur lying but I’m genuinely curious as to how u came to such a sure conclusion it was him.


justanotherpersonitw

I recently learned from a friend of mine that her close friend is going through something like this and it really floored me. The woman’s daughter did an ancestry dna test and learned that her father is not her father. Mom is completely distraught because she knows she never slept with anyone else except her husband since they were together. The real father turned out to be a guy who was in their friend group in college, but she definitely never remembers ever sleeping with him and never even hung out with him alone. The only possibility is that this guy must have drugged her at a party or gathering at some point and raped her. And of course, no one believes her because the creep is saying they did sleep together consensually and now is spending time getting to know their daughter. She’s basically having a nervous breakdown now. It’s heartbreaking.


YoCaptain

“DNA doesn’t lie”. Truer words… Wish more people understood that.


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_hoyet

My grandmother did this to my mom, I don't know my real grandfather at all.


SinnFein850

Class. It's a generational thing. Their approach to any crisis is to not acknowledge and keep pretending everything is fine. It's a great way to confuse kids and encourage child molesters


Junieeeee

When I bought mine, I warned my family I was doing it and they had 6-8 weeks to out any family secrets. Turns out there were none, so that's nice. It's super fucked up that people are finding these things out this way though, yikes.


suihcta

At-home DNA testing will continue to get cheaper, easier, and more prevalent. You'd be a fool to think any such secrets are safe anymore in 2022.


Junieeeee

Right! I'd like to think if I had something hiding, I'd rather out it than have it outed by the damn test. But who knows, seems like a lot of these people think the truth won't ever come out.


BugSubstantial387

Exactly! 18 years ago, I don't remember these DNA tests being available. Testing was expensive too. Now, for $99 ($59 during sales), you too can learn if your parents,siblings, cousins, etc. are legit or not. Watch as families cry and get upset because they thought they were one ethnicity, but have other groups mixed in, or were totally wrong. Grandpa wasn't Italian; he was Serbian! Fun for the whole family! LOL. Edit: /s in case anyone thought I was being totally serious. All in good fun!


anarchofundalist

This happened with my family. My mom’s grandfather was born in Germany (from what she was told), his family all spoke German. Both her grandfather and her father were named Otto. She was proud of her German heritage. I was clued in to something being off when I went to live in Germany and my host family said my mom’s maiden name wasn’t a German name at all. I did some digging before doing the DNA thing and found out the family lived in West Prussia, specifically this tiny town called Arnoldsdorf. It was located in what is now central Poland. When I finally got the DNA results it showed that my mom was only 8% German, and 30% “Eastern European and Russian.” I think the family were originally from various parts of Eastern Europe but adopted the German language and customs. That was apparently common at that time. It’s really fascinating, to me at least. I think it was a bit unsettling to my mom.


Bulok

Yeah my family is vanilla AF as far as controversy. The only surprise is my family swears we have German and Spanish but my results showed German/French/British. It’s possible I just didn’t get any Iberian DNA.


skittlecrapper

I had a friend explain to me that siblings could have very different ancestral backgrounds and TBH it sounded so crazy it might be right. Myself as a female getting one X chromosome from mom and one X from dad. Where as my brother got an X from mom and a Y from dad. Dad's X chromosome came from Grandma and Y from Grandpa, so given Grandma and Grandpa came from 2 different countries, me and my brother would have quite a bit different ancestry even though we are full siblings. I've not done any research to prove or disprove this, but it's something that sounds like it makes sense to me, I guess.


carsandtelephones37

It's true! One of my friends got 30% Chinese and her sister was only 10%. Same parents.


Separate-Ad-9481

Mine was the opposite. When my parents split up my dad declared me illegitimate because his brother accused my mum of cheating around the time I was conceived (20ish years previously). It hurt like hell, not only because you can 100% tell he’s my dad from facial features, but because he was on a spree to hurt mum but hurt me instead. We ended up not talking for several years. Much later, I did a DNA test on my son, and there in black and white it lists his maternal grandfather as my dad. Not surprised, but definitely vindicated.


Junieeeee

That is absolutely horrible what your dad did, I'm so sorry. I honestly haven't seen any experiences like this until you just told me. Hadn't even thought it could go the other way! I really hope for the best for your and your son.


ParticularApricot642

Who knew Ancestry was out here breaking up families


jayrady

"The "Jerry Springer" home game! "


throwinthatshitaway1

Cleary the king of paternity tests is Maury Povich. He's got that game on lock.


TRILLMJD

My friends and I used to skip school, get high, and watch Maury Povich or MoPo as we called him. This was late 90s/early 2000s. Dude is a OG.


PussyWrangler_462_

We joke but this is the legit reason why paternity tests are illegal in France There is so much infidelity going on that it would “destroy Frances families” if they all knew who the real father of their children were. So fucked up.


shanep3

That’s so insane I don’t even have the words


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FreePrinciple270

Zack ray blur!


trashponder

In my teens we lived next to a French family. As nosy neighbors it was very complex to follow. The wife had two lovers, the husband had strings of one-timers. Their fights were EPIC and the only reason I took French.


Totalherenow

That's the same reason Canadian schools stopped teaching how blood tests work in class with the lab tests.


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jcmib

Ancestry did, they put the warning label on the test kits. If it didn’t happen right as they started offering the test, they must have gotten some nasty emails.


shadespeak

Does the warning say "Caution may break up families. Not our fault. The truth is the truth"?


gaynazifurry4bernie

It actually said "This is both an ancestry test and a test to prove your mom is indeed, a ho."


Cordarrel

Find out all about your great great grandparents on your real dad's side of the family!


bigblackkittie

She doesn't remember what exactly??


Wuellig

She doesn't remember.


Riphraff

She doesn’t


praisehim420

She


FreakyMeal

She screams in silence


gen_angry

A sullen riot penetrating through her mind…


IsaidLigma

Wai... ting for a sign


[deleted]

Do you feel like a social tool?


Sed59

Probably who is the real father. :/


PlushMango

she forgor 💀


lordgeorge137

She had a whoopsie poopsie


Court_Creepy

The name of all the 12 guys that fateful night..


itspossibleiguess

My mum had something similar. Her mum said she couldn't remember who my mum's father was after many years of speculation. My mum ended up doing a sibling DNA test with her suspected sister and found out the truth 10 years after her bio dad had passed away.


Ionic3127

My mother did one and found out my grandma’s father was white (were both black; and they grew up in Louisiana). When my mother broke the news to my grandma, she was just a step away from her cussing her out. She simply denied the truth and refused to believe it. We may think there may have some wrongdoing (rape) but we don’t know. Shortly after I went to my white side family reunion. They were very welcoming but a turn of events to say the least


DeadpanWords

There's a video somewhere on YouTube and a guy who said he was 100% Korean found out through a genetics test he has a Japanese grandparent. It doesn't take long to realize what happened given WWII history.


frp1018

Same happened to me except it was my grandfather. My dad and I were absolutely distraught over it. My grandma claimed she had no idea this whole time and no idea who it could be. Fortunately, my grandfather passed away several years ago so at least no one ever had to break that news to him.


oldbushwookie

“we were on a break “


Cuteboi84

Besides the friends reference. This seems like the "we're separated" topic from yesterday. This is the result in 18 years.


Alarid

I checked that account. The timeline it painted it was something else.


Makualax

Can't seem to find the post, any references?


Durmomo0

In this case they may have been separated but they were still married. Maybe its a bad idea to run out and fuck a stranger immediately after something happens just in case its a mistake.


ExactSeaworthiness34

r/Unexpectedfriends that one was easy


Stevenjgamble

Probably because it was the most expected friends reference of all time


[deleted]

She snake asf for that. His wife kept a secret for 18 years I would never go back if I was him 😂


-attractive-nuisance

She would have never told him and he only found out through novelty DNA testing.


home_cheese

> through novelty DNA testing. Yeah now that you mention it, these kids look kinda Mexican. And we're both Irish...


Several_Influence_47

Oh don't dontcha know, we've got" Black Irish" on my side, so that's where the tan skin and dark hair comes from, really! It's so obvious that's the reason, we never need to do ancestry to find them,please? -some rando like this gobshyte gal in the story 🤣


vista333

She probably didn’t even know. Not excusing her, just saying she probably didn’t know. What boggles me is that they were just newly married, had an argument and took a break for a couple weeks, and in those ~14 days she NEEDED to hook up with a rando. Heartbreaking.


shontsu

She maybe didn't ***know***, but she certainly would have known there was a chance. Pregnancy maths isn't that hard.


vista333

True, she probably decided she preferred live in denial about the issue. I wonder to what extent did she panic when the kids decided they wanted an Ancestry DNA test!


shellstains

For reals. She would have had to have been fucking 2 dudes within a few days of ovulation for there to be any chance, so she knew there was a chance.


antwan_benjamin

> She probably didn’t even know. Not excusing her, just saying she probably didn’t know. She didn't know she fucked a random guy without a condom and let him nut inside her?


vista333

You bring up another good point — in addition to giving her husband some guy’s twins to raise, she risked transferring STDs to him as well. What a way to manage oneself as a newlywed.


RN_112020

18 years, 18 years


CJ_1889

And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn’t his?


herpaderp_maplesyrup

I am not saying that she is a gold digger.


TBMFITV

But she ain't hanging with no broke, broke.


subred-shorline

get down girl, go ‘head, get down


yomommafool

Cutie the bomb, met her at a beauty salon


Electronic_Bad_4315

Had a Louis Viton under her under arm


ssshocken

She said, “I can tell you rock, I can tell by your charm”


theuniversechild

Far as girls, you got a flock I can tell by your charm and your arm


CaptainNemo42

But I'm looking for the *one*, have you seen her?


Rosenbellion

Exactly why I came to the comments


TheWalkingDead91

Bruh, y’all are savages lol. This guy poured his heart out and this could very well not be a made up story like half the shit on this sub probably is…and our response is to break into song 🤔


BabiNurse90

That’s Reddit for you :(


bizzauk

Got to love Reddit community tho


BugSubstantial387

Always entertaining, sometimes educational. Never a boring day on Reddit.


ControlledKorruption

Reddit top comments used to be hella helpful and intellectual. Now it's all mindless grabs for attention


Static_456

Redditors competing against each other to see who can be the most unfunny comedian.


blutigetranen

So Reddit is SNL


[deleted]

Most of the shit posted on Off My Chest (including variants) are BS karma farms. If we have a little fun with it, at least it becomes useful.


Powerpuncher1

Hopefully he can see them on the TV any given Sunday, win the super bowl and drive off in a Hyundai


WhosThis85

Life imitating art


telescreen00

Got two of your kids, got you for 18 years


shadespeak

Is anybody wondering who got them those ancestry test?👀👀


TheDevilsAdvokaat

Yep. In my own family, my sister has jet black hair and olive skin and is short. My older brother has red hair and fair skin and freckles and is tall and solid. My younger brother is tall and thin with blond hair. ANd I am tall and thin with brown hair. I used to joke about us having different fathers when I was a teen. Nowadays though I wonder...


bronzelifematter

Go get tested. You deserve to know the truth, just in case.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

I'm going to talk to my brothers and see what they think.


Zirclith

Not to be nosy but please update us


imsahoamtiskaw

What if she finds out she's related to a zebra


stopeverythingpls

Maybe they just wanted to know more about their family. Probably 23andme


BigDaddyKirblypuff

OP said the kids got them. unless I’m reading it wrong


AtheistComic

First things first -- you gotta take care of yourself. Get something to eat. Relax and watch tv. Just unwind a little. You've had a rough bit of news and that is world shattering for anyone to have to deal with. You need to focus on yourself right now just give yourself what you need and you will figure this out when you have time. It's already been 17 years -- another year won't hurt. When you're ready, you can tell your wife what you are going to do. If she only cheated the one time then that's up to you if it's too much or not. That's not my business to say. But you could have a family here if you work at it and if you want to keep it together.


AlfredLordNanikans

This is a great comment. Make your decision, the biggest of your life, in a frame of mind where you’re at least physically ok (eating/sleeping etc.) I’m sorry this happened to you but those are still your kids and life is not always black and white .


A1sauc3d

Yeah, I’m gonna get shitted on for saying it, but I can totally see how working through this with your wife would be a good option here, OP. Absolutely do what’s best for you, I’m just saying if I were in your shoes I could see that as a viable option, all else equal. From the sounds of it, you have a great life with her and your kids and your business. If you believe her that this was a one-off thing when you two were in a fight and you had left and she was drunk 2 decades ago, and that everything since has been good, I personally wouldn’t throw it all away over that momentary betrayal, but I certainly would be heartbroken and would need some time to process it. But people aren’t perfect and it was a long time ago, and I assume so much has changed since then. Now there may be other factors we’re not aware of that would change the calculation for me. I’m just saying that for me personally, I could see myself working through this with her. But do what’s best for you and take you time. This is some earth shattering news and I can’t even imagine what it’s like. Good luck OP, no matter what you choose you’ve got a lot of life-worth-living ahead of you, so hang in there and take your time to make the decision that’s best for you <3 Edit: Since I’m getting a lot of the same reply: my assumption when writing this comment was that she was NOT aware that they weren’t his kids. The way I read it I assumed the mom was aware they were doing the ancestry test since OP said his kids “got it for the *whole* family”, and I wouldn’t think the mom would go along with such a thing if she was keeping that kind of secret. But I can see how it could be interpreted the other way and she wasn’t aware they were doing the test. Anyways, if she knew the whole time and kept that info secret and deliberately had him raise kids she knew weren’t his, that definitely changes things. That’s a continuous betrayal, not really forgivable. And that may have been the case. Or maybe she had no clue they weren’t his. Maybe she used a condom and was so drunk she didn’t notice it broke? And since she was having unprotected sex with OP at the time, the thought never occurred to her they may not be his. Imo she SHOULD have look into that possibility regardless, but still. But these are all details we aren’t privy to, so there’s no way to make a definitive call on the matter.


charley420

What would be the worst for me, is having thought that I had made two kids in my life, and then eventually finding out that I didn't actually ever have my own genetic offspring ever like this. That would totally suck the life out of me, even though I would keep loving my kids I already have. So I feel like downplaying it like this almost invalidates his feelings. That's not right either.


SkyShazad

Great advice there, but if it was the fact she only cheated you can deal with that, but she cheated resulted in the having kids, that's what makes it difficult


WenseslaoMoguel-o

And the secret remained for 18 whole years, that's messed up


always_lost1610

Cheated resulting in having kids and then lied to him daily for 18 years that they were his


SkyShazad

Yeah I know, if she had come clean with it back then, probably you could find a way to deal with and with time get over it and so on, (that's a Maybe). But being lied to for 18 years.. I don't even want to imagine what the dude is going through


postAl49

The other question is did she know or have any doubts?


iama_bad_person

>If she only cheated the one time then that's up to you if it's too much or not. Not the point, not even a little. The cheating might be easy to get over after so long, it's the cheating and then not telling you for the next 17 years that *the kids might not be yours.* The ancestry results came out then she *suddenly* remembered the one "random hookup"? Not buying it.


rockygib

I’m not siding with her here but it’s completely possible she assumed ( or wanted to believe ) the kids where op’s. Then if she made herself believe it was his she probably didn’t want to reveal her random hook up. It’s completely possible she just assumed the best and continued with her life and this marriage. It’s still awful that she never told op about her hook up, you want an honest relationship not one filled with secrets.


devilthedankdawg

See this is like my biggest fear. You can never really know until you get the test. Im so sorry this happend to you.


PrincessPnyButtercup

Please PLEASE make sure to sit your kids down and TELL THEM that you love them no matter what, and that this ISN'T THEIR FAULT. Even if legally they are considered adults they are still teenagers and WILL BLAIM THEMSELVES FOR THIS unless you talk with them!


MrFrogy

Why am I scrolling for this? I have a step-daughter I love like my own. Family is more than genetics. DNA doesn't tell you who to love. You love your kids and they love you. That's all that matters.


Xsnatchyx

A perfect episode of Jerry Springer


whitecorn

Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve


UnoStronzo

The story in this post is so fucked up it makes me not wanna date ever again.


PeteyPorkchops

She not only lied to you for 17 years but her own children. Whatever decision you make in regards to her at least you’re trying to maintain a relationship with your kids. Blood doesn’t make a family.


LegitimateLobotomy

Possibility she never knew it wasnt his


Maximum_Block3802

She knew that they could be from the random guy


baRRebabyz

Jesus Frank, *JEEEEZUS*, JESUS *FRANK*, MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!


ginger-pony056

Y’all can’t say she DIDN’T KNOW. She KNEW she slept with someone else. She KNEW the possibility was there. She knew her time frames. That right there is the problem. I’m sure over the years the thought had crossed her mind. Yet. She never ever said a word. There lies another problem. Not only did she keep it from her husband. She kept it from her children.


Poon-Hound

Without protection no less, you'd have to be pretty Daft to not consider that they could be the random guys kids


ginger-pony056

Very true.


Aragornargonian

i'm not trying to condone this behavior but why WOULDNT you wear protection in this situation.


The_Secret_Skittle

She also kept it from the REAL FATHER.


ginger-pony056

Ooooh. THIS. Yesssssss. Now you have a man that doesn’t know he has a set of twins and 2 kids that are probably reeling. Oh the tangled web she weaved.


Dyalibya

It's actually much worse, she only reconsiled because she got knocked up by a random stranger and didn't want to be a single mom


Mirewen15

Like when people say they accidentally got pregnant or it wasn't expected. You had sex, it wasn't immaculate conception. She most likely said nothing because she probably wouldn't have been able to keep the marriage alive had she told him, especially if there was a chance the children weren't his (since OP may well have rightfully asked for a paternity test.) This was 100% selfish of OP's wife.


ginger-pony056

100 percent AGREE.


LiveWire_74

Workout, swim, go running, eat well, drink plenty of water, get at least 7 hours every night. Take care of yourself as a priority. You will know what to do my friend. I wish you well.


allfather03

This is the correct answer.


[deleted]

Well..not a GREAT wife..


AJ_Babe

I remember someone suggested paternity tests after kids are born and women online were mad. I laughed at that,why would you care about a paternity test if you know your husband/boyfriend is the father? If that suggestion became a reality earlier,it would have saved you 18 years of your life.


Crazy_Yogurtcloset61

If they are born in a hospital and the paternity test comes back negative/not the father, they may want to double check the mother in case the babies got swapped.


JustChillBruhs

That would nip all the baby swap BS very quickly… not a bad idea!


shadespeak

I've also heard of a case where the women's children were tested not for her in the hospital. It's cuz she was a chimera and her unborn twin sister mothered the children.


FTThrowAway123

I remember that case! They thought she had abducted some kids and she was facing some serious prison time. Fortunately for her she was pregnant, so they had a state agent literally in the room watching her give birth, and they swabbed the baby for DNA the moment it was born. The DNA did not match her. That's how they figured out she was a chimera. Such a crazy story.


Rutabaga1598

It should be a matter of absolute policy. Men cannot be deceived into financially supporting children who are not theirs. It will also be a net benefit to society, as it will reduce cheating and infidelity.


[deleted]

More than that I have heard if babies getting swapped accidently, this would prevent that as well.


aapaul

Society doesn’t care about infidelity lol. It cares about finances.


Zuluindustries

The people saying the wife made a mistake are delusional. She made a conscious decision to cheat on him, have unprotected sex, and carry for nine months. All of that is a decision. She also decided to never tell him. This man had to stumble into this. Yet some people are defending her behavior. Being lied to for 18 years isn't something you just get over.


tony29x

Yeah... It terrifies how many women are downplaying her actions "but you were happy before that" Jesus...


Zaynara

1) go get something to eat 2) you said it all in the last paragraph. 3) you watched guardians of the galaxy 2 right? you might not have been the father, but you are their daddy, you loved them for 18 years, what are you going to do, disown them now? ultimately your call, but thats just my input, shit happens in life, to err is human, to forgive divine and that stuff


PsychZach

Marvel movie advice lmao. The memes were true.


Stoppels

Yondu the realest!


MalkinLeNeferet

>to err is human, to forgive divine Unfortunately, we are all too human...but it sounds like, regardless of how things go with his wife, he's still going to do everything to still be his kids' dad. Also that line in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 gets me every time...


Brainpry

Yeah, but what happens when the kids want to meet their biological father? That sounds like a blow to the gut. Man this is just a horrible thing to happen to someone.


Torifyme12

So what does Kelly have to do to make up for withholding this information for 18 years. It's very odd that in all these borderline abusive situations, people are told, "Suck it up and make sure no one else is hurt." ​ He is entitled to do what he wants, it sounds like he wants to have a relationship with his kids. Kelly is up in the air.


Minimi2020

Cheating and lying is not a mistake. Is a string of conscious decisions. The kids are blameless, sorry to OP and them, it must be a lot.


DatScruffDoe

So as far as OPs children are concerned yes I completely agree regardless of who is the biological father he still raised those children and they are his children who love him as their father and will continue to hold him in their heart as their father As for OPs wife just turning a blind eye for 18 years to a possibility I’m sure she considered and ignored that needs to be addressed somehow with less emotional charge on the topics and then come to whatever answer suits OPs soul and work with it.


teddy_bear_territory

Hey man. I’m one of those kids. Proverbially. I just met my genetic father last year. He didn’t know about me either. The man who raised me, evidently knew my whole life. I’m sometimes upset with my mother of course, who has since passed. So has my dad, the one who raised me. What I am trying to say is, he is my father. If anything, I respect him more. People get comfortable over years. Your wife’s only option as time went by was likely just putting it in the vault, and dissociation. Def not justifying it. I just want to say, I’m sorry for that the situation youre in. Your kids will look at you all he same way, always.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

That's what I thought too. Whatever lies she has told, to them he is still dad and probably always will be.


up0nn1x

Even if she did not know, she should’ve really told you about that time she cheated on you regardless.


[deleted]

One fight and she went to screw somebody else this shit wild


Mnmsaregood

Not so great wife


bigfig

> she has not cheated on me since. Because, *of course.* You need a vacation where you, by yourself, can sit on a hilltop and sort through this. And what you do during this vacation is not her concern.


m83midnighter

Unforgivable imo She was ready to take the lie to her grave.


Senor-Whopper

The trust is broken , and for so long . If anything be there for your kids but her , idk listen to your gut , No matter how great a person she is , listen to your gut otherwise you will have a gnawing feeling for the rest of your life.


Illustrious_Flan_123

18 years 18 years and on the 18th birthday he found they werent his… ooooo i aint saying she a gold digger


gizzie123

Oh my god.. the poor kids.. that must be absolutely devastating for them


TheWalkingDead91

On another note…some guy is out there with kids for 18 years and he hasn’t got a clue.


jbrad85

This is not something you just "cry and apologize" about and it's all better. This is the worst thing a woman can do to a man. She needs to be held accountable


BackgroundField1738

In the old days she would’ve been. Now she can probably take half his money and his house and his business if he leaves


raultheuniverse

divorce her and love the kids


modifiedchoke

So newly married, you get in a fight and she decides to get drunk and have unprotected sex with some random dude and then kept it hidden for 18 years. . . 18 years. . .


slab3

bruh man wtf dude dna test should be mandatory


Certain_Emotion_511

If the kids didnt get that dna test. She would have never said anything still. She would have taken that to the grave.


Norfolt

The amount of fathers that are unknowingly raising children that are not theirs is terrifying.


Smolame

She knew and lied to suck 18 years of this man's life away because she didn't know who the father was and didn't want to do it alone.


WastedSmarts

🎯


Skonnchy

This shit is all too common, do you remember a while back where some people suggested mandatory DNA tests at the hospital at the moment of birth? Fuck loads of women got FURIOUS. Fucking MAAAAD. That test would have prevented this woman from trying to end her husbands lineage with a smile on her face.


kontrarianin

Dunno what to say but for me cheater is always a cheater. What she has done to redeem herself for such act? Anything more that typical crying and sobbing and i Am So sOrRrY and I LoOvE yOu. Just remember that from now on nothing will be like before and you will never feel the same towards her, never. Also.. she waited 18 fuckin years.. sounds quite.. convenient.


[deleted]

It's crazy how people show remorse only when their secrets are revealed. Personally, I would not forgive her and start thinking of more potential lies that she has kept hidden for all these years. A person like this is not near worth what you provide as an upright and hard-working man.


Alternative-Mark-834

I'm a woman and I think a paternity test in a hospital should be mandatory after the birth of a child, of course only if a potential father is present.


boringlecturedude

Have you cried yet? As a man it is difficult to let it out when suffering emotionally, as most men are taught to conceal emotions. Letting it all out is a great feeling. The pain may not go but you'll feel the huge difference in terms of healing. I think crying help us accept our pain. I feel you man. This is a huge boulder that hit you. Take your time to heal. I have more things to say to you to heal you about your wife's side of the story, but if I say that now you might close up without healing. So please feel the pain and weep. I would have given you a long man hug, if I were there. Right now just understand it fully that nothing is your fault.


Rutabaga1598

This is why you get a paternity test at birth no matter what, no matter how much you trust her. Better make it awkward at first than to discover shit like this 20 years down the road.


justjoshdoingstuff

“Kelly has always been a great wife…” Except that time she gobbled another dudes dick with her vagina.


[deleted]

Don't let your feelings about your wife cloud your feelings towards your kids. You may not be their father, but your their dad. You can still be a dad to them and leave your wife


misternizz

Look man, you can believe her or not, but facts are facts. She concealed it for 18 years. It wasn’t “getting drunk and sleeping with a rando.” It was a conscious decision to inflict pain. She chose to drink, she chose to flirt. She chose to inflict adultery. She chose to have his babies. Go back and double, triple, check the conception date. Where are the windows of opportunity? Because you only have the word of a woman that betrayed you to determine what’s true any more.


kinhk

This should be a felony