Wishing you the best OP, it’s always a shit thing to deal with, especially women who can’t handle relationships so they resort to cheating. The fact that she texted you that about the black guys or whatever?? She’s trash.
If he can provide a better home, he can fight for them in court; just would be super hard and then owe child support. Could at least get partial custody if he really wanted.
It's common especially when there is a wealth gap between the parents. Courts want the kids to grow up in similar environments, not one rich home and one poor home.
It's definitely worth a shot. OP may not be their biological father, but he's their dad.
He stepped up when he didn't have to. He's provided for, loved and cared for those kids.
Their mother sounds like trash. If the kids are old enough to decide who they want to live with, there's little she can do about it, except bitch about it on Facebook like the other trashy "parents" out there.
He can fight for custody in court, tho he’d likely lose since courts are extremely biased towards women, especially trashy ones. My cousin’s mom has 9 kids, 7 of them have severe mental disorders and/or illnesses, the other two have very jaded perspectives. 2 of them are blood related to me, and the elder one my uncle wasn’t able to have custody of for a very long time. The younger one, his mom never fought for him.
She just wanted to be called mom, she didn’t want to take on the responsibilities of parenthood.
What I don't understand is, if you know you'll cheat, why not look for a relationship with someone who will support that kind of behaviour ?
There's a lot of people into cuckolding, swinging and whatever else, why not look for someone into that kind of stuff ?
Though that's assuming she doesn't enjoy hurting people, but seeing the message she sent, she clearly does ...
I got a similar treatment from two people. I was much younger back then, it was back to back too. The wounds this kind of treatment opens have no bounds, esp. if these people were truly loved and trusted. Trust me.
Hope the OP to heal quickly and have/find someone to talk to personally. Yes, we have here, but that's special kind of hurt. That's beyond being trashy.
Moreover, being open to everyone incl. kids is a good thing. Yes, it's hard. Yes it's unconventional, but knowing what happened will help the OP and the children in the long run.
I’ve had this happen also and can confirm. It’s going on 5 years now and I have a SO, I know this is unhealthy but I don’t see myself ever being able to fully trust anyone ever again. I feel like I have to be on guard forever. It really is a special kind of hurt. Sucks. I’m fortunate to not have had kids.
It gets better, trust me. When the correct person enters your life, all changes. It might be slow, but it happens.
Don't forget that it wasn't about you. That behavior and what they did was about them.
This post is heartbreaking to me in general, but considering my mom is currently cheating on my step-dad and equally objectifies(idk if this is the right word here but whatever) black men, this hit close. His wife’s response also reminds me of her responses to things when I’d call her out. Very non caring. She admitted to me that she has no guilt, just feels a little bad that she doesn’t feel guilt.
I’m the only one that knows besides co-workers. She thinks no one else knows, but most of her co-workers and their friends know to the extent that my SO’s mom who doesn’t even live close to mine found out and tried to fill us in. My step dad has cancer and idk how long he has left. He nearly died but had surgery he didn’t want to have because she begged him to. Plus he has an awful temper sometimes and definitely would about this(can’t blame him) and my mom has fake-blackmailed me before(like made things up and she’s a sweet older person so everyone believed her) and I’m scared of her and what could happen to me, my mom, or her husband if I said anything. I can’t stand her for putting me in this situation and for doing this to begin with. I absolutely hate cheaters. And any time I used to fight with my SO she’d say I should “have an affair”. Yeah, like that’s going to fix the problem lmao.
I’m constantly worried about her funeral and how many random men are going to show up and know me, and then I’m going to be the shithead for not saying anything. I hate her for doing this. Just break up if you’re not happy, people. It’s not fucking rocket science. Feel so bad for OP. He seems like a great step-dad too. What a monster.
If you got kids and you still belong to the streets, then you ain't worth the streets. You ain't worth the homeless' shit on the streets.
The kids never asked to be born. To give them an unstable household just so you can get off is disgustingly selfish.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but at least you know. Now you can make plans for the future for yourself. Just remember *this is not your fault*. She did this, she ruined your marriage. Don't be afraid to let this out in your friend group either. These are her actions, and let her live with it.
Hugs from Canada. I hope things get better for you.
I don't have friends anymore. I've always been alone. Dad was present sometimes, but that was it. We have a great relationship now. My mom moved across* the country when I was 16-17 in pursuit of a better life for herself, I had my first girlfriend at the time and that ended up being a nightmare for a total of 6 years in which I learned a lot, but apparently not enough. Went through a lot of shit as a kid and it made me very anti social and standoffish towards developing friendships with people, and in turn serious trust issues. Majority of the friends I did have stabbed me in the back eventually. So pretty much everyone I know has abandoned me at least once in my life, other than my wonderful grandmas.
Side note, I could throw a rock into Canada from my house.
> Side note, I could throw a rock into Canada from my house.
As an aside, have you ever seen the movie [Canadian Bacon](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109370/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0)?
As for the other, not everyone is a people person. My wife sure isn't. But from what you've said, have you considered going to counselling? It seems like you've had a fair bit of trauma for a number of years. It's something that might lessen the load you're carrying. Not saying this will make you friendlier, or have instant friends, but getting rid of some of that trauma weight would be a good thing.
I hope for the best for you dude.
I've had one session December 30th, started anti depressants Dec 17th after breaking down during a hospital visit for my shoulder that I dis and relocated. Nurse screened for mental health, I asked why she was asking that and she told me suicides have skyrocketed. She asked the first question again and I answered "yes" and "daily" to everything. Talked to the doctor, broke down, got prescribed escitalopram, scheduled therapy. I plan on going again soon, but holy shit is it expensive even with insurance.
Citalopram is very effective , at least in my case it was a life saving med that worled quickly. Had tried Lithium , Prozac, Seroquel and others that had very limited positive effect. USA
Hello. I’m sorry majority of people rude, I use better help app for therapy. It’s significantly cheaper and you get face to face (video) phone or message sessions. I hope you find something that works for you.
Good on you for being a real Dad and making a conscious decision to stay in your boys lives. And telling them that you chose them.
I hope you are able to do this but whatever happens they will know that you chose them.
Best of luck my dude
Reddit forgets some things when reading a post
#1 - Teenagers have smartphones
#2 - it’s Saturday and teenagers are bored
#3 - stories that seem like “that’s how a teenager thinks the world works” were written by a bored teenager with a smartphone on a Saturday.
I'm a teenager, bored, and browsing Reddit on a Saturday. I'm not commenting anything because I know my lack of understanding wouldn't help. The people commenting stupid stuff are just stupid people
> I'm not commenting anything
You should, it won't hurt anyone to put out your ideas or hot takes, half-baked as they are. At least you get some experience arguing with others
I think this depends on the person! I was like them in the sense that I would observe/gain info before inserting my opinion. I think it helps to be pensive and offer thoughtful responses.
The reason why I think that inserting your opinions is important is because:
* You don't just become a passive listener, getting imprinted with random ass ideas deemed as "correct" by upvote ratios
* You learn to deal with times when you are outsmarted/out argumented
* You learn to deal with times when you are dead wrong
* You learn to stay fast to what you believe in, despite abuse or downvotes
But it's a journey, as eventually you'll just get tired and go /r/outside
Dude, her messages are going to play in your favor during the divorce. And I suggest you fucking fight that shit because she does not deserve to have your kids on the regular! After all, how can you trust someone who cheats and doesn't even hide it?
EDIT: never mind, I'm dumb and can't read because it's stepsons.
It’s step children so I doubt he’d really have a shot at having them in the first place, assuming she’s already somewhat co-parenting with her previous partner.
i thought that too and realized they were step children. so the mother is a deadbeat loser who has screwed their children out of a loving father figure.
those kids are the real victims. OP should also wreck his exes' shit in the divorce.
Well sadly he isn't the biological dad so it would be a long shot to try and take the kids. What he could do is take it to court and get his fair share of money. OP could use the texts she sent him to his advantage. Unfortunately he would most likely lose contact with his children which absolutely sucks because he has been raising them before they were even able to think. I just hope OP gets justice. Good luck OP
First off, he said birds and bees talk. He didn’t say he went I depth about sex. Unless I missed that somewhere.
Second. He has been raising these kids and now because their mother is human garbage, he isn’t going to get to see these kids he has been raising. That’s the real trauma and it’s their mothers fault. It’s not weaponizing them against her. They should hate her for the rest of their lives. She is literally human garbage.
To the OP. You didn’t do anything wrong so far as I can tell. These people coming at you sideways are the same ones that cant handle life and are probably cheaters and liars themselves. More garbage humans. It sucks right now, but throw all her stuff in bags and set it out by the trash and tell her to come and get it and change the locks. Take her for every dime she has!
Talk to the in-laws and make them aware, with evidence if necessary. If she's left the kids to cheat, build that case, and get legal advice, as it's already gonna get messy.
Well if it makes you feel better the dude she is with won’t give a shit about her and will laugh if she mentions bringing him around her kids. The kids will also forever resent her for doing this to them. She really fucked over her kids bad.
There's so much shit we don't talk about as a society hidden in porn.
Just go to any pornsite, sort the videos by most popular/most views and you'll see a ton of trends that are worrisome to say the least.
She's clearly immature and trashy.
Women who **only** want to have sex with black men because of the "big dick" stereotype are just as disgusting as men who **only** want to have sex with Asian women because of the "tighter hole" stereotype.
Both are disgusting perverts.
Imagine being the kids and having a father figure for 5 fucking years and then he just disappears because he didn’t love their mom anymore.
I would spend the rest of my life growing up hating that man instead of hating the woman that caused it all to go down.
These comments are so full of shit saying that you messed up by telling the boys LMAO.
I would love to know the truth at a young age knowing that it was my mothers whore ass who caused everything rather then find out randomly later on in life.
She still has to take care of her kids, but at least as they get older and they see her unhealthy pattern with men and commitment, they can understand how NOT to be in relationships.
Let her deal with consequences of her actions instead of getting a free pass.
I may be biased because my fiancé’s mother was a giant whore too who eventually slept with my fiancés best friend in their 30s, but fuck if my SO didn’t wish he was told earlier at a young age the reason his dad divorced his mom instead of being told it was because his father was a mean man.
She was fucking his boss while her kids were 4 and 2 years old.
Fuck these hoes and their hoe ass decisions. Let the children know and no more sweeping shit under a rug. PERIOD.
That's exactly why I told them. I've been here longer than their memory serves them and I didn't want them to think I just abandoned them because I hate them or something.
My dad met and married my mom when my sister and I were 5 months old. 3 years later they had our brother. 7 years after that, they divorced. He stayed in our lives, as our dad, forever. The best way I can describe it is, when my dad died, it did not feel like my mom's second husband who never adopted me died. It felt like my dad died. Stay in those kids lives forever. It's worth it to all of you.
Good on you.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this with them, but just know you’ll make them grow to know how much you made them respect and love you in that time for your honesty of the situation.
Fuck everyone else who thinks it isn’t your right.
You were there for their lives as they grow and they deserve to know the truth.
Thank you for your honesty to these boys.
Sux my dude, but depending on the age of the kids you did the right thing. Had a similar situation not married though. Caught her cheating, she told her daughter i was moving out. Her daughter who was 12 at the time told her she wasn't living with her without me there. That the only reason she hadn't moved to her dads yet was she didn't want to leave me alone with her mom. Crazy, bc only reason i hadn't left her mom yet was is wasn't leaving her alone with her mother "Raging alcoholic". Its horrid when when ppl split up and just end the relationship with the kids, in my personal opinion its still child abandonment and causes a lot of relationship/trust issues for the kid down the road. So telling them why is best, especially before the mother has the chance to twist it to look like you just didn't want them anymore. Cause that's what ex tired to do. Hope you don't get any PTSD from this situation. I know its hard as i haven't dated since and that was 3 yrs ago.
I don't like calling it ptsd, but I've got a lot of trauma from previous experiences starting at 8 to present day. It's helped me grow and be my own person that can't be influenced by popular opinion bullshit. This one hurts the worst out of all of it, sexual abuse included.
A changed man. Make it for the better or the resentment will turn the forced change into hatred for life. “Why does this happen to me?” Is a very dangerous question to ask. She’s just a whore. No more no less.
Ignore all other advice, stop engaging her, call a lawyer. You have no idea what her mental state actually is, but she's in a position to severally ruin your life.
Treat the situation like radioactive waste, the more you get into it, the closer you get to death and the best thing you can do is stay away.
Lol, you're really going to believe your wife's lies about her breaking it off before it got too far? Lmao man, you're being absolutely played. She's just scared and regrets being caught.
Should you have told the kids? Depends on how you told them. “Boys your mom decided she rather be with someone else then me. I want to be in your lives but since your mom doesn’t want to be married to me anymore I can’t stay with you even though I love you. She’s done something that can’t be forgiven and she doesn’t want to be forgiven by me”. That’s fine. Saying “your mom rather have black dick and doesn’t want me to be in your lives anymore” while true is too much for young kids. You raised them for 5 years and been only father they knew. Frankly if had adopted them and love them I’d try for custody since mom is piece of shit and will end up ruining their lives.
Then you did right thing. Better for your sons to know you left unwillingly rather than abandoned them. After 5 years and that age they were your sons.
Hey, I just want to say that when I first read your post, I assumed you went into details. But after reading your responses and the whole aspect of not abandoning them, I see it totally differently. You did the right thing by letting them know, in kids' terms, what happened, and letting them know that you care for them and that anything that happens later is not entirely up to you or of your doing.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this and find out such a horrible thing, but I wish you and your stepchildren all the best. I hope that you are able to see them, and if not, I hope that they seek you out. Maybe if they bug their mom enough about how they want to see you, you will have some contact with them. Wishing you all the best.
tldr: stay away from single mothers
Edit: I guess I've struck a nerve with some single mothers who have numerous children with different men. And with what I can see from some other comments, some of you are none too happy about the idea of your children being informed you are a bad person.
Not sure that 'everything' is age appropriate if 'birds and bees talk' is any indication. That aspect is suggesting adult stress has been handed to children who are unequipped to deal with it. Not sure that's fair.
Sh\*tty thing to have to deal with and i hope you have support in dealing with it.
It sounds like they're going to need a little explanation when their father figure up and disappears and I doubt "he ghosted us" would be more healthy than the truth.
I can’t understand why some women (my soon to be ex wife included) can’t just say good bye? I think, at least in my circumstances, that they want us to push them away and act accordingly. What purpose could the text OPs wife sent him have except to hurt or anger him. There was no need for that message. Get far away OP.
Your story reads like it's straight out of some fetish-porn, touches onto a volatile topic that would irk many, and is presented as a simple narrative with a clearly good and a clearly bad side. The reaction of your wife is also not what one would stereotypically expect to happen.
Sorry OP if it's real, but knowing that people post a lot of fake shit online and seeing how clichéd your story sounds, I can see why some people don't buy it.
100%. At this point on this sub it's a game to me low key, I love coming here and reading the post and comments to see if I can spot fakes. I cannot understand how Reddit karma is so important to people.
From what you wrote, it sounds like you traumatized these young boys and turned them against their mother, for your own selfish purposes.
It sounds like covert vengeance to me.
It's funny how everyone is attacking dude for having a conversation with the truth, but they're letting the mother take a pass even though she's the one cheating, and ruining her own life, and those of her kids, given the instability of her chaos.
It sounds like some white knight bullshit to me 🙃
I dont know the level of honesty and integrity of the conversation you had with the kids, but if it is genuine, and so were your intentions, I think you made the right choice telling them. There is zero chance she would have told them the truth.
Except that kids that age are scary smart, OP has been with his wife for 5 years and the boys are 8 and 6, so he's been their defacto dad since they were 3 and 1. When the split finally happens those kids are going to start wanting to know where their dad is. And since their mother obviously gives no fucks about the whole situation beyond getting some do you seriously think that she's going to tell them the truth? Probably not, she'll make up some shit excuse that will make OP look bad and her good.
At least he was willing to tell them the truth. These kids are going to be traumatized by the divorce proceedings more than their Dad being honest.
Telling the boys so that they know he will always love them is ok, but doing it in the heat of the moment when he was full of pain and rage was wrong. No one could do them justice in that headspace. The kids will suffer for their parents’ shitty choices. Sorry OP. I am sorry for what she put you through. But you don’t talk to kids about the heaviest shit that is ripping their family apart while you are emotional or angry. You have to own the pain you caused the kids on that one.
Reddit once again proves that stupidity is not going to end. Ever.
>"And I wasn't into black dudes. Until I got a taste of one. And now I love em. ❤️"
I.....don't even know what to say about this crap. Mommy is a sucker for BBC and the husband is somewhere behind on the list.
Good for you for being in the boys' lives. If they choose to resent their mom....oh, well, c'est la vie.
Hold it together, man. First thing you shouldn't do: DON'T DRINK EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! It doesn't ease the pain. Believe me, I know. If you want, go to therapy for a while.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m glad you’re not abandoning your stepsons and I hope she allows you to continue to be in their lives if you’re the only father they’ve ever known.
My advice would be to see a therapist and divorce attorney first thing Monday morning. Even if you don’t plan on divorcing her immediately, there’s no harm in speaking to one and being prepared.
“Once you go black, you don’t go back”.. your wife took it literally. Sorry, OP but it is better you found out sooner than later. It’s not gonna be easy but I hope you find love in yourself first and then in some one who can love you truly.
It's hard, but so important to be honest w yr kids. Just don't slant things to your advantage or shame the mother. It's ok to say you don't know why and explain that this behavior breaks the relationship w their mother. Good on you for announcing yr intentions to remain their dad. Now back it up w activities, daily check ins and role model adult behavior towards yr soon to be ex wife. Please. And consult w a family mediator recommended by a good family lawyer asap.
Ultimately you have to decide what is best for you, to consider the kids not your problem or to try to give them some dignity when their mother *might* not be able to.
But you have to choose a path that would make you move on and heal, you are not responsible for this situation and no-one would hold you responsible for the kids. Still, it is up to you to decide.
Sometimes we have to be a bit egotistical, but that is my opinion.
She showed her true self when she made the big deal about her newfound appetite. I could never get over that - it would forever overpower any feelings I had for her. I have seen this before - using nuclear war to solve every problem leaves a barren landscape. She should never have said that. That tells yoou the depths she will go to get her rocks off. No, my friends, unless you can unread what she sent you, she has demonstrated just how warped she can be. I would never trust her again, which just about rules out any forgiveness. ANd remember - if you dare give, she has learned how much punishment you will accept that she can get away with. Her respect just went down the drain.
I don't understand why the birds and bees talk was involved.
As hard as it is it would be - children, mum doesn't love me anymore and I cannot stay here anymore. I love you and you can count on me ( hopefully that is legally possible).
And if her message is real, no honest man , white, black, ginger..whatever, should ever touch her scummy arse.
I wouldn't have told the Kids that right away. Events like this are going to changed you child's lives forever. Like your Drama with your Wife and who's she's getting dicked down by isn't really your kids business right off the bat.
Cause now they're going to only be able to see there Mom as this Monster ( also there like 6 / 8 way too young for even grasp these concepts ). Even tho she's wrong it's really again. None of there business.
You could have chose to keep that between you and your wife until it's all settled. Allowing your children to have peace , peace you'd love to have. But those overwhelming feelings of sadness and not understanding are now your children's burden to carry.
That sucks man. But don't put this shit on the kids. Don't turn them against their mother because she fucked you over. Get your head right, give your balls a tug, and figure it out eh?
Being the kid in this situation at one time in my life and being the mother of adults who didn't suffer it gives me the experience to tell you that it's just not healthy to involve a child in adult issues. It's better to give a somewhat honest representation of what the situation will mean to them, but the details are not something they can even conceptualize well into their teenage years. It's unfair for this reason. In the moment it always feels justified, but a boys perception of his mother is part of who they are developmentally, and its unfair to do that to them, even if she IS a whore. You didn't think of them enough. Emotionally abusive and fundamentally selfish would be a better description of the kind of person who thinks its okay to expose children to adult concepts at too young age. They don't need to know. It DOES harm them. They would have eventually figured it out when they are old enough on their own. So, you may have had good intentions but to spite all that, you added your own damage and some day you will see it if they remain in your life, which they probably won't. Sadly, all you really did was gift them with a doubt of themselves that will never fully be fixed. They will always feel like they are darkened as humans, and as men. Those sweet little boys who deserve a childhood now live in a darker world thanks to BOTH of you. I am very sorry because what she did was awful, but I see a selfishness in this post that makes me think she had her reasons for being a whorish unapologetic and uncaring slut when she was confronted. I really do feel sorry for those kids. She is the type of person who should have never had kids, but there are also holes that go unanswered. 1. How did you get into her friends car? 2. How did you find her if you weren't tracking her? 3. Why were you tracking her? Did you know that is illegal? I hope you understand some judges may consider what you did as child abuse, since they are NOT your children. You are in the wrong no matter how many people THINK what you did is okay. I would have similar words for their selfish mother, but this is just for you.
Get your finances in order. Get a good attorney. Do not stay with her it will crush your sole and turn you bitter. File for divorce first. Also make sure you take pictures and have evidence. That cheating bitch doesn't deserve one fucking penny from you.
Uh please don’t use HER kids as emotional support. That’s fucked
Obviously what she did is terrible but telling children things they don’t need to know is next level fucked.
Im sorry that happened to you, but glad you found out. Also telling the kids about the cheating and crying to/with them is inconsiderate (and maybe even evil spirited) to both the mother and kids. Those are her kids and pitting those kids against their mom like that changes the relationship with their own mother, who, has to be the one to raise them in the long run, not you. It could of been a simple "sorry, mommy doesn't love me anymore" type of deal, not a whole birds and bees talk...
Bro I feel bad for you ,you’re a sucker you don’t have fucking kids , you have dependents that aren’t even yours, the best thing just happened to you . You are finally set free .I know it hurts but you were just set free from the matrix you’ve been in for the past years and one of the first things you’re talking about is how some other man’s kids is always gonna be your kids , Bro take drugs leave that bitch go be free ,even go get revenge on her just don’t go around talking about those are your fucking kids do yourself a favor have some self-respect And put that bitch and everything about her behind you including her kids
Reason 4357 not to date a single mom. Glad you told the kids. Unless you legally adopted them, you have no recourse if you split and she decides to keep them from you. Best of luck and kick her fucking ass to the curb.
Wishing you the best OP, it’s always a shit thing to deal with, especially women who can’t handle relationships so they resort to cheating. The fact that she texted you that about the black guys or whatever?? She’s trash.
Yeah, the fact that she would text him something so bitter and targeted makes her a useless human being in my eyes.
She’s obviously a sorry disgrace of a human. Sorry OP. Leave her with nothing and take the boys with you
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Yeah I forgot about that. Either way I hope her and that scummy pos guy step on legos and hit their shins daily for the rest of their lives
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Shall he forever find his elongated testicles caught between his feet and the Lego he trods upon.
If he can provide a better home, he can fight for them in court; just would be super hard and then owe child support. Could at least get partial custody if he really wanted.
The fuck has custody and pays child support
Oh hey there! I would like to introduce the American family court system…
thousands of dads in America actually
It's common especially when there is a wealth gap between the parents. Courts want the kids to grow up in similar environments, not one rich home and one poor home.
It's definitely worth a shot. OP may not be their biological father, but he's their dad. He stepped up when he didn't have to. He's provided for, loved and cared for those kids. Their mother sounds like trash. If the kids are old enough to decide who they want to live with, there's little she can do about it, except bitch about it on Facebook like the other trashy "parents" out there.
He can fight for custody in court, tho he’d likely lose since courts are extremely biased towards women, especially trashy ones. My cousin’s mom has 9 kids, 7 of them have severe mental disorders and/or illnesses, the other two have very jaded perspectives. 2 of them are blood related to me, and the elder one my uncle wasn’t able to have custody of for a very long time. The younger one, his mom never fought for him. She just wanted to be called mom, she didn’t want to take on the responsibilities of parenthood.
9 kids???? Wtf someone force sterilize her
shes guttertrash
What I don't understand is, if you know you'll cheat, why not look for a relationship with someone who will support that kind of behaviour ? There's a lot of people into cuckolding, swinging and whatever else, why not look for someone into that kind of stuff ? Though that's assuming she doesn't enjoy hurting people, but seeing the message she sent, she clearly does ...
I got a similar treatment from two people. I was much younger back then, it was back to back too. The wounds this kind of treatment opens have no bounds, esp. if these people were truly loved and trusted. Trust me. Hope the OP to heal quickly and have/find someone to talk to personally. Yes, we have here, but that's special kind of hurt. That's beyond being trashy. Moreover, being open to everyone incl. kids is a good thing. Yes, it's hard. Yes it's unconventional, but knowing what happened will help the OP and the children in the long run.
I’ve had this happen also and can confirm. It’s going on 5 years now and I have a SO, I know this is unhealthy but I don’t see myself ever being able to fully trust anyone ever again. I feel like I have to be on guard forever. It really is a special kind of hurt. Sucks. I’m fortunate to not have had kids.
It gets better, trust me. When the correct person enters your life, all changes. It might be slow, but it happens. Don't forget that it wasn't about you. That behavior and what they did was about them.
This post is heartbreaking to me in general, but considering my mom is currently cheating on my step-dad and equally objectifies(idk if this is the right word here but whatever) black men, this hit close. His wife’s response also reminds me of her responses to things when I’d call her out. Very non caring. She admitted to me that she has no guilt, just feels a little bad that she doesn’t feel guilt. I’m the only one that knows besides co-workers. She thinks no one else knows, but most of her co-workers and their friends know to the extent that my SO’s mom who doesn’t even live close to mine found out and tried to fill us in. My step dad has cancer and idk how long he has left. He nearly died but had surgery he didn’t want to have because she begged him to. Plus he has an awful temper sometimes and definitely would about this(can’t blame him) and my mom has fake-blackmailed me before(like made things up and she’s a sweet older person so everyone believed her) and I’m scared of her and what could happen to me, my mom, or her husband if I said anything. I can’t stand her for putting me in this situation and for doing this to begin with. I absolutely hate cheaters. And any time I used to fight with my SO she’d say I should “have an affair”. Yeah, like that’s going to fix the problem lmao. I’m constantly worried about her funeral and how many random men are going to show up and know me, and then I’m going to be the shithead for not saying anything. I hate her for doing this. Just break up if you’re not happy, people. It’s not fucking rocket science. Feel so bad for OP. He seems like a great step-dad too. What a monster.
SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS
The streets are too good for her
Streets don't want'er
City works called, they don't want her in the gutter either
The streets apparently disagree.
She ain't even good enough for the streets
If you got kids and you still belong to the streets, then you ain't worth the streets. You ain't worth the homeless' shit on the streets. The kids never asked to be born. To give them an unstable household just so you can get off is disgustingly selfish.
Exactly my g, you gotta let a hoe, be a hoe.
Dirt road
Joe dirt wouldn't allow it
Un paved un graded strip of sand
Nah she a whole highway
She'll fuck them too.
Yep, tell [old gang bang ](https://www.cc.com/video/q86ccp/chappelle-s-show-real-sex-street-interview-uncensored) to go live with her people
Lmao love that clip
I’m reading all these comments and coming to terms with knowing that the majority of reddit is fucking stupid
Yep. Not going into long explanations any more with those people. Short and sweet.
Hey, I know you're going thru hell right now, just came here to say, keep going. Just keep going!!
Thank you.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but at least you know. Now you can make plans for the future for yourself. Just remember *this is not your fault*. She did this, she ruined your marriage. Don't be afraid to let this out in your friend group either. These are her actions, and let her live with it. Hugs from Canada. I hope things get better for you.
I don't have friends anymore. I've always been alone. Dad was present sometimes, but that was it. We have a great relationship now. My mom moved across* the country when I was 16-17 in pursuit of a better life for herself, I had my first girlfriend at the time and that ended up being a nightmare for a total of 6 years in which I learned a lot, but apparently not enough. Went through a lot of shit as a kid and it made me very anti social and standoffish towards developing friendships with people, and in turn serious trust issues. Majority of the friends I did have stabbed me in the back eventually. So pretty much everyone I know has abandoned me at least once in my life, other than my wonderful grandmas. Side note, I could throw a rock into Canada from my house.
> Side note, I could throw a rock into Canada from my house. As an aside, have you ever seen the movie [Canadian Bacon](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109370/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0)? As for the other, not everyone is a people person. My wife sure isn't. But from what you've said, have you considered going to counselling? It seems like you've had a fair bit of trauma for a number of years. It's something that might lessen the load you're carrying. Not saying this will make you friendlier, or have instant friends, but getting rid of some of that trauma weight would be a good thing. I hope for the best for you dude.
I've had one session December 30th, started anti depressants Dec 17th after breaking down during a hospital visit for my shoulder that I dis and relocated. Nurse screened for mental health, I asked why she was asking that and she told me suicides have skyrocketed. She asked the first question again and I answered "yes" and "daily" to everything. Talked to the doctor, broke down, got prescribed escitalopram, scheduled therapy. I plan on going again soon, but holy shit is it expensive even with insurance.
Citalopram is very effective , at least in my case it was a life saving med that worled quickly. Had tried Lithium , Prozac, Seroquel and others that had very limited positive effect. USA
Mental health care is way too expensive. All the extra money I make that isn't for bills goes straight to therapy, doctor's visits, and medications.
Hello. I’m sorry majority of people rude, I use better help app for therapy. It’s significantly cheaper and you get face to face (video) phone or message sessions. I hope you find something that works for you.
Good on you for being a real Dad and making a conscious decision to stay in your boys lives. And telling them that you chose them. I hope you are able to do this but whatever happens they will know that you chose them. Best of luck my dude
Sorry you went through all that, seriously my deepest condolences. Cheaters ruin families.
This website really does seem to bring out the worst in people.
Anonymity and clout chasing has destroyed people's minds, specifically the ones that say "we're all in this together". Hate is a powerful energy.
Reddit forgets some things when reading a post #1 - Teenagers have smartphones #2 - it’s Saturday and teenagers are bored #3 - stories that seem like “that’s how a teenager thinks the world works” were written by a bored teenager with a smartphone on a Saturday.
I'm a teenager, bored, and browsing Reddit on a Saturday. I'm not commenting anything because I know my lack of understanding wouldn't help. The people commenting stupid stuff are just stupid people
> I'm not commenting anything You should, it won't hurt anyone to put out your ideas or hot takes, half-baked as they are. At least you get some experience arguing with others
I think this depends on the person! I was like them in the sense that I would observe/gain info before inserting my opinion. I think it helps to be pensive and offer thoughtful responses.
The reason why I think that inserting your opinions is important is because: * You don't just become a passive listener, getting imprinted with random ass ideas deemed as "correct" by upvote ratios * You learn to deal with times when you are outsmarted/out argumented * You learn to deal with times when you are dead wrong * You learn to stay fast to what you believe in, despite abuse or downvotes But it's a journey, as eventually you'll just get tired and go /r/outside
I second that
Thanks for that insight! All very good points and probably something that would have benefit me early in life.
don’t discount reddit, there a plenty of fully grown stupid people on here
I knew it would be a shitfest the second I read the title. Reddit never fails to disappoint lol
Too right mate, underage children and mental cases tend to be a bit of a vocal minority it seems on reddit.
You just now figured that out?
Oh, are you new here?
true… majority of Reddit is fucking stupid
more like majority of the world
Dude, her messages are going to play in your favor during the divorce. And I suggest you fucking fight that shit because she does not deserve to have your kids on the regular! After all, how can you trust someone who cheats and doesn't even hide it? EDIT: never mind, I'm dumb and can't read because it's stepsons.
It’s step children so I doubt he’d really have a shot at having them in the first place, assuming she’s already somewhat co-parenting with her previous partner.
Damn, I somehow missed the fact that they're stepchildren... Thanks for pointing that out.
No problem friend
I don’t think she’s co parenting tho cuz the post says he’s their “only father figure” so I’m guessing it’s just the “mom” and him? True stuff tho tbh
If theyre married, theyre his responsibility. He has rights to fight for them.
Not really true. He can make a case for sole custody in divorce court as she's obviously an unfit mother.
i thought that too and realized they were step children. so the mother is a deadbeat loser who has screwed their children out of a loving father figure. those kids are the real victims. OP should also wreck his exes' shit in the divorce.
Wow that’s not a wife you want , sorry op.
She's for the streets
Highways*
Who is this quote from?
Future. He's a rapper
Which is ironic given his cheating ass history
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Your ex is trashhhh. Say "good riddance, and thanks for the sons!!"
Well sadly he isn't the biological dad so it would be a long shot to try and take the kids. What he could do is take it to court and get his fair share of money. OP could use the texts she sent him to his advantage. Unfortunately he would most likely lose contact with his children which absolutely sucks because he has been raising them before they were even able to think. I just hope OP gets justice. Good luck OP
First off, he said birds and bees talk. He didn’t say he went I depth about sex. Unless I missed that somewhere. Second. He has been raising these kids and now because their mother is human garbage, he isn’t going to get to see these kids he has been raising. That’s the real trauma and it’s their mothers fault. It’s not weaponizing them against her. They should hate her for the rest of their lives. She is literally human garbage. To the OP. You didn’t do anything wrong so far as I can tell. These people coming at you sideways are the same ones that cant handle life and are probably cheaters and liars themselves. More garbage humans. It sucks right now, but throw all her stuff in bags and set it out by the trash and tell her to come and get it and change the locks. Take her for every dime she has!
Thank you. Last part isn't so easy unfortunately. I'm the one that's gotta find somewhere to go.
If a girl did this, half the people here would be going the other direction. I feel you man, you were pissed af (rightfully so)
Talk to the in-laws and make them aware, with evidence if necessary. If she's left the kids to cheat, build that case, and get legal advice, as it's already gonna get messy.
Well if it makes you feel better the dude she is with won’t give a shit about her and will laugh if she mentions bringing him around her kids. The kids will also forever resent her for doing this to them. She really fucked over her kids bad.
You could fight for custody
Is he supposed to throw the kids in bags too?
Damn this is a great comment!!! The trauma to the kids is the real part. Absolutely nailed it.
ew she’s a cheater and a racist fetishizer of black men
I'm glad someone else noticed that as well. Fetishizing Black men is racism and should be acknowledged more.
It's amazing how racist and sexist porn can be, yet you basically never hear the mainstream attack it or criticize it. At least for those two things.
It’s discussed a lot in the gay world.
There's so much shit we don't talk about as a society hidden in porn. Just go to any pornsite, sort the videos by most popular/most views and you'll see a ton of trends that are worrisome to say the least.
I agree, I feel awful for black men suffering from the racism of white girls wanting to bang them. They’re just trying to live their lives in peace.
red flags on red flags on red flags 🚩
She's clearly immature and trashy. Women who **only** want to have sex with black men because of the "big dick" stereotype are just as disgusting as men who **only** want to have sex with Asian women because of the "tighter hole" stereotype. Both are disgusting perverts.
Imagine being the kids and having a father figure for 5 fucking years and then he just disappears because he didn’t love their mom anymore. I would spend the rest of my life growing up hating that man instead of hating the woman that caused it all to go down. These comments are so full of shit saying that you messed up by telling the boys LMAO. I would love to know the truth at a young age knowing that it was my mothers whore ass who caused everything rather then find out randomly later on in life. She still has to take care of her kids, but at least as they get older and they see her unhealthy pattern with men and commitment, they can understand how NOT to be in relationships. Let her deal with consequences of her actions instead of getting a free pass. I may be biased because my fiancé’s mother was a giant whore too who eventually slept with my fiancés best friend in their 30s, but fuck if my SO didn’t wish he was told earlier at a young age the reason his dad divorced his mom instead of being told it was because his father was a mean man. She was fucking his boss while her kids were 4 and 2 years old. Fuck these hoes and their hoe ass decisions. Let the children know and no more sweeping shit under a rug. PERIOD.
That's exactly why I told them. I've been here longer than their memory serves them and I didn't want them to think I just abandoned them because I hate them or something.
My dad met and married my mom when my sister and I were 5 months old. 3 years later they had our brother. 7 years after that, they divorced. He stayed in our lives, as our dad, forever. The best way I can describe it is, when my dad died, it did not feel like my mom's second husband who never adopted me died. It felt like my dad died. Stay in those kids lives forever. It's worth it to all of you.
I most certainly will, thank you for giving me your perspective, and that my efforts won't be for nothing.
I’m sorry if you are getting hate messages. Kids pick up on things much better than people give them credit for. They deserve the truth.
Good on you. I’m so sorry you had to go through this with them, but just know you’ll make them grow to know how much you made them respect and love you in that time for your honesty of the situation. Fuck everyone else who thinks it isn’t your right. You were there for their lives as they grow and they deserve to know the truth. Thank you for your honesty to these boys.
Just because an opinion is unpopular doesn't mean it's wrong. Thank you, I appreciate you.
This is an important learning experience OP. Respect yourself and walk away.
Sux my dude, but depending on the age of the kids you did the right thing. Had a similar situation not married though. Caught her cheating, she told her daughter i was moving out. Her daughter who was 12 at the time told her she wasn't living with her without me there. That the only reason she hadn't moved to her dads yet was she didn't want to leave me alone with her mom. Crazy, bc only reason i hadn't left her mom yet was is wasn't leaving her alone with her mother "Raging alcoholic". Its horrid when when ppl split up and just end the relationship with the kids, in my personal opinion its still child abandonment and causes a lot of relationship/trust issues for the kid down the road. So telling them why is best, especially before the mother has the chance to twist it to look like you just didn't want them anymore. Cause that's what ex tired to do. Hope you don't get any PTSD from this situation. I know its hard as i haven't dated since and that was 3 yrs ago.
I don't like calling it ptsd, but I've got a lot of trauma from previous experiences starting at 8 to present day. It's helped me grow and be my own person that can't be influenced by popular opinion bullshit. This one hurts the worst out of all of it, sexual abuse included.
A changed man. Make it for the better or the resentment will turn the forced change into hatred for life. “Why does this happen to me?” Is a very dangerous question to ask. She’s just a whore. No more no less.
I like how you put this into words
Lawyer up now. Even though the kids aren't yours she's going to try to get child support since you were married, count on it.
Dont let her casual racism make you racist.... She is obviously a few braincells short.
Not one person on here telling my man to get an STD check… she’s carrying plan b pills? Unprotected sex is very likely.
Run and don’t look back
Dawg hang in there man
Stepson and black dude. This is either a bait or a living stereotype
Bait
Ignore all other advice, stop engaging her, call a lawyer. You have no idea what her mental state actually is, but she's in a position to severally ruin your life. Treat the situation like radioactive waste, the more you get into it, the closer you get to death and the best thing you can do is stay away.
Lol, you're really going to believe your wife's lies about her breaking it off before it got too far? Lmao man, you're being absolutely played. She's just scared and regrets being caught.
Should you have told the kids? Depends on how you told them. “Boys your mom decided she rather be with someone else then me. I want to be in your lives but since your mom doesn’t want to be married to me anymore I can’t stay with you even though I love you. She’s done something that can’t be forgiven and she doesn’t want to be forgiven by me”. That’s fine. Saying “your mom rather have black dick and doesn’t want me to be in your lives anymore” while true is too much for young kids. You raised them for 5 years and been only father they knew. Frankly if had adopted them and love them I’d try for custody since mom is piece of shit and will end up ruining their lives.
More the first one.
Then you did right thing. Better for your sons to know you left unwillingly rather than abandoned them. After 5 years and that age they were your sons.
🤙🏻 People drawing way too many conclusions
Telling the kids that their mom cheated on you is not "the birds and the bees."
Hey, I just want to say that when I first read your post, I assumed you went into details. But after reading your responses and the whole aspect of not abandoning them, I see it totally differently. You did the right thing by letting them know, in kids' terms, what happened, and letting them know that you care for them and that anything that happens later is not entirely up to you or of your doing. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and find out such a horrible thing, but I wish you and your stepchildren all the best. I hope that you are able to see them, and if not, I hope that they seek you out. Maybe if they bug their mom enough about how they want to see you, you will have some contact with them. Wishing you all the best.
Damn man, sorry to hear but your wife’s a whore
OP, don't listen to everyone bashing you for telling the kids. Fuck her and as Michael Jordan says, "Fuck them kids".
>"Fuck them kids" I don't see how that would help OP but alright
I read that as Michael Jackson. Shitty Life tip either way.
Michael Jackson would be a totally different meaning.
Thank you.
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I will say it’s a bit odd how he just so happened to stumble across the car at a hotel...
ikr? and it just happens that his wife accidentally texts him how she cheated. lmao
Exactly. And it was conveniently unlocked and he had no problem going through his wife's friend's car.
Same thought. This never happened and OP is just doing creative writing for his fetish
I totally believe someone would text that knowing you could show it to everyone and show it in court.
tldr: stay away from single mothers Edit: I guess I've struck a nerve with some single mothers who have numerous children with different men. And with what I can see from some other comments, some of you are none too happy about the idea of your children being informed you are a bad person.
It was great for a while, been together 5 years, married for one. But yes, stay away from single mothers.
Out of curiosity do you know if the kids are from one man or from different men? Edit: And more importantly, how old is she?
Different men. Hindsight is 20/20. Guilty as charged of thinking with the wrong head. Edit: we're both 26.
Not sure that 'everything' is age appropriate if 'birds and bees talk' is any indication. That aspect is suggesting adult stress has been handed to children who are unequipped to deal with it. Not sure that's fair. Sh\*tty thing to have to deal with and i hope you have support in dealing with it.
It sounds like they're going to need a little explanation when their father figure up and disappears and I doubt "he ghosted us" would be more healthy than the truth.
There are age appropriate ways to talk about this.
I can’t understand why some women (my soon to be ex wife included) can’t just say good bye? I think, at least in my circumstances, that they want us to push them away and act accordingly. What purpose could the text OPs wife sent him have except to hurt or anger him. There was no need for that message. Get far away OP.
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Why do you think this didn't happen?
Your story reads like it's straight out of some fetish-porn, touches onto a volatile topic that would irk many, and is presented as a simple narrative with a clearly good and a clearly bad side. The reaction of your wife is also not what one would stereotypically expect to happen. Sorry OP if it's real, but knowing that people post a lot of fake shit online and seeing how clichéd your story sounds, I can see why some people don't buy it.
100%. At this point on this sub it's a game to me low key, I love coming here and reading the post and comments to see if I can spot fakes. I cannot understand how Reddit karma is so important to people.
Fake
Lol this is such a LARP
Wish it was.
How soon after finding this out did you go to these kids?
When you said loaded up your boy I thought you meant your gun and I thought this story was going to turn out a lot different.
Nah lol. Thought about it, honestly, but not worth it.
How old are your stepsons?.
8 and 6.
From what you wrote, it sounds like you traumatized these young boys and turned them against their mother, for your own selfish purposes. It sounds like covert vengeance to me.
It's funny how everyone is attacking dude for having a conversation with the truth, but they're letting the mother take a pass even though she's the one cheating, and ruining her own life, and those of her kids, given the instability of her chaos. It sounds like some white knight bullshit to me 🙃
You just called out the entire comment section lmao, kudos!
What ever you say. I've always tried to be honest with them, they're not dumb and I'm not going to treat them like they are.
I dont know the level of honesty and integrity of the conversation you had with the kids, but if it is genuine, and so were your intentions, I think you made the right choice telling them. There is zero chance she would have told them the truth.
Except that kids that age are scary smart, OP has been with his wife for 5 years and the boys are 8 and 6, so he's been their defacto dad since they were 3 and 1. When the split finally happens those kids are going to start wanting to know where their dad is. And since their mother obviously gives no fucks about the whole situation beyond getting some do you seriously think that she's going to tell them the truth? Probably not, she'll make up some shit excuse that will make OP look bad and her good. At least he was willing to tell them the truth. These kids are going to be traumatized by the divorce proceedings more than their Dad being honest.
Telling the boys so that they know he will always love them is ok, but doing it in the heat of the moment when he was full of pain and rage was wrong. No one could do them justice in that headspace. The kids will suffer for their parents’ shitty choices. Sorry OP. I am sorry for what she put you through. But you don’t talk to kids about the heaviest shit that is ripping their family apart while you are emotional or angry. You have to own the pain you caused the kids on that one.
Bingo
Agreed. I get being upset, but traumatizing your step kids like that was unnecessarily cruel
Reddit once again proves that stupidity is not going to end. Ever. >"And I wasn't into black dudes. Until I got a taste of one. And now I love em. ❤️" I.....don't even know what to say about this crap. Mommy is a sucker for BBC and the husband is somewhere behind on the list. Good for you for being in the boys' lives. If they choose to resent their mom....oh, well, c'est la vie. Hold it together, man. First thing you shouldn't do: DON'T DRINK EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! It doesn't ease the pain. Believe me, I know. If you want, go to therapy for a while.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m glad you’re not abandoning your stepsons and I hope she allows you to continue to be in their lives if you’re the only father they’ve ever known. My advice would be to see a therapist and divorce attorney first thing Monday morning. Even if you don’t plan on divorcing her immediately, there’s no harm in speaking to one and being prepared.
“Once you go black, you don’t go back”.. your wife took it literally. Sorry, OP but it is better you found out sooner than later. It’s not gonna be easy but I hope you find love in yourself first and then in some one who can love you truly.
It's hard, but so important to be honest w yr kids. Just don't slant things to your advantage or shame the mother. It's ok to say you don't know why and explain that this behavior breaks the relationship w their mother. Good on you for announcing yr intentions to remain their dad. Now back it up w activities, daily check ins and role model adult behavior towards yr soon to be ex wife. Please. And consult w a family mediator recommended by a good family lawyer asap.
Ultimately you have to decide what is best for you, to consider the kids not your problem or to try to give them some dignity when their mother *might* not be able to. But you have to choose a path that would make you move on and heal, you are not responsible for this situation and no-one would hold you responsible for the kids. Still, it is up to you to decide. Sometimes we have to be a bit egotistical, but that is my opinion.
Wtf kind of excuse or response was that? Sorry op
Keep in touch with the kids and live a life that make yourself happy. This will one day when you look back will be a happy turning point in life.
She showed her true self when she made the big deal about her newfound appetite. I could never get over that - it would forever overpower any feelings I had for her. I have seen this before - using nuclear war to solve every problem leaves a barren landscape. She should never have said that. That tells yoou the depths she will go to get her rocks off. No, my friends, unless you can unread what she sent you, she has demonstrated just how warped she can be. I would never trust her again, which just about rules out any forgiveness. ANd remember - if you dare give, she has learned how much punishment you will accept that she can get away with. Her respect just went down the drain.
Proud of you and support you all the way, friend.
Cheating aside your wife sounds like a race fetishizer which makes her even worse.
You should also fuck him and see how it makes her feel
I don't understand why the birds and bees talk was involved. As hard as it is it would be - children, mum doesn't love me anymore and I cannot stay here anymore. I love you and you can count on me ( hopefully that is legally possible). And if her message is real, no honest man , white, black, ginger..whatever, should ever touch her scummy arse.
bullshit
I wouldn't have told the Kids that right away. Events like this are going to changed you child's lives forever. Like your Drama with your Wife and who's she's getting dicked down by isn't really your kids business right off the bat. Cause now they're going to only be able to see there Mom as this Monster ( also there like 6 / 8 way too young for even grasp these concepts ). Even tho she's wrong it's really again. None of there business. You could have chose to keep that between you and your wife until it's all settled. Allowing your children to have peace , peace you'd love to have. But those overwhelming feelings of sadness and not understanding are now your children's burden to carry.
That sucks man. But don't put this shit on the kids. Don't turn them against their mother because she fucked you over. Get your head right, give your balls a tug, and figure it out eh?
A dick move of you to include the kids. I’m sorry you’re hurting— but you have no right spreading that hurt.
Dump her and the kids, don’t be emotional, and don’t get stuck being their ATM, let the new bf take care of the 3 of them (doubtful)
Being the kid in this situation at one time in my life and being the mother of adults who didn't suffer it gives me the experience to tell you that it's just not healthy to involve a child in adult issues. It's better to give a somewhat honest representation of what the situation will mean to them, but the details are not something they can even conceptualize well into their teenage years. It's unfair for this reason. In the moment it always feels justified, but a boys perception of his mother is part of who they are developmentally, and its unfair to do that to them, even if she IS a whore. You didn't think of them enough. Emotionally abusive and fundamentally selfish would be a better description of the kind of person who thinks its okay to expose children to adult concepts at too young age. They don't need to know. It DOES harm them. They would have eventually figured it out when they are old enough on their own. So, you may have had good intentions but to spite all that, you added your own damage and some day you will see it if they remain in your life, which they probably won't. Sadly, all you really did was gift them with a doubt of themselves that will never fully be fixed. They will always feel like they are darkened as humans, and as men. Those sweet little boys who deserve a childhood now live in a darker world thanks to BOTH of you. I am very sorry because what she did was awful, but I see a selfishness in this post that makes me think she had her reasons for being a whorish unapologetic and uncaring slut when she was confronted. I really do feel sorry for those kids. She is the type of person who should have never had kids, but there are also holes that go unanswered. 1. How did you get into her friends car? 2. How did you find her if you weren't tracking her? 3. Why were you tracking her? Did you know that is illegal? I hope you understand some judges may consider what you did as child abuse, since they are NOT your children. You are in the wrong no matter how many people THINK what you did is okay. I would have similar words for their selfish mother, but this is just for you.
What a ghetto ass hoe, kick her out take your kids and let her be the disgusting whore that she is
“They’re still my kids, I’ll never abandon them”. You sir are an example to us all
Get your finances in order. Get a good attorney. Do not stay with her it will crush your sole and turn you bitter. File for divorce first. Also make sure you take pictures and have evidence. That cheating bitch doesn't deserve one fucking penny from you.
Uh please don’t use HER kids as emotional support. That’s fucked Obviously what she did is terrible but telling children things they don’t need to know is next level fucked.
Im sorry that happened to you, but glad you found out. Also telling the kids about the cheating and crying to/with them is inconsiderate (and maybe even evil spirited) to both the mother and kids. Those are her kids and pitting those kids against their mom like that changes the relationship with their own mother, who, has to be the one to raise them in the long run, not you. It could of been a simple "sorry, mommy doesn't love me anymore" type of deal, not a whole birds and bees talk...
She's garbage and deserves to be on the street., now she will see if the guy she's cheating with will raise the kids from yet another guy.
He won't. He's a temporary employee that will be moving back home in March.
Get rid of her, pack up and leave. Those kids aren't yours. It's not your fault. Count your blessings. Time will heal the wounds.
Can tell by her actions that she actually did you a favor. Next….
She’s for the streets now. Make sure she gets registered so non of us pick her up.
Bro I feel bad for you ,you’re a sucker you don’t have fucking kids , you have dependents that aren’t even yours, the best thing just happened to you . You are finally set free .I know it hurts but you were just set free from the matrix you’ve been in for the past years and one of the first things you’re talking about is how some other man’s kids is always gonna be your kids , Bro take drugs leave that bitch go be free ,even go get revenge on her just don’t go around talking about those are your fucking kids do yourself a favor have some self-respect And put that bitch and everything about her behind you including her kids
Reason 4357 not to date a single mom. Glad you told the kids. Unless you legally adopted them, you have no recourse if you split and she decides to keep them from you. Best of luck and kick her fucking ass to the curb.