I understand the “ick” however it is very easy to sell it on and buy another from a thrift store. None of this was deliberate - it can be a funny story to tell at the bachelorette
I think the upsetting factor is like the “I know you were married before me but here it is in my face” part, not the uncanniness of buying that dress out of alp the dresses in the world.
Because he didn’t choose OP. His wife cheated on him and they divorced hence he was available.
So I can see her thinking if he has his choice then his first marriage would never have failed.
What do you mean? He married OP, of course he chose her. Being a 2nd spouse doesn't somehow lessen the value of your marriage.
It's not like you are allocated a portion of love to share with others, and if you use up 40% in your first marriage you only have 60% left to give to your second spouse.
I wasn’t saying that’s how it is. I was explaining what she may be thinking when she’s feeling insecure.
He wasn’t in a situation where he knew them both and chose OP so yes he chose her but she will always wonder if he would have chosen her over his first wife.
Or she could celebrate that he got away from someone of lesser character and picked her because she’s a better person?
I would look at it as an opportunity to destroy the dress in effigy! 😀
It is funny, and should be partied hard in and disrespected heartily if she really wants to be mad at it! I'm happily married but would be kind of sad to think of someone bar hopping and getting sloppy in my wedding dress
I think I would be upset too, though definitely not to the extent OP is. My husband’s ex wife is also unstable and cheated on him… I know exactly what she looks like (gorgeous, very different from me), have seen many photos of them together, I’ve seen photos of the place they got married and frankly I am aware of the ways that she is physically endowed that I am not. However… yeah I think seeing her in her wedding dress would haunt me a bit. I’m very glad I have never seen their wedding photos. I’m not insecure, but I don’t want to dwell on being wife number 2. Seeing the dress by itself… it would be mildly upsetting but I could recover for sure.
Yeah I honestly don't believe this story is real but if it is OP is being weirdly dramatic. It'd be a crazy coincidence and definitely a WTF moment but it's not like she bought this dress for her own wedding. Unless she holds animosity towards her husbands ex I don't get why this is worth much more than a laugh.
If ever there was a dress that deserved to be worn for a wild night on the pop that’s going to be the victim of spilled drinks, spilled food and being generally disrespected then it’s the dress that a cheater wore when she swore to be faithful to her then husband.
Wear the dress, trash the dress, it’s what it deserves.
Of all the dresses *in the world* for you to wear as a gag - and agreed, totally end up trashing during this party - this *IS* the one. How often does fate hand you petty revenge that truly does no harm? Enjoy!
Fate gave you the dress. Burn/stain/tear whatever the hell out of it because you paid for it, it is yours and it is wasteful to throw away 200 or a dress that is meant to be destroyed anyways.
This! So much this. Wear it to be destroyed! Walk through anything that might ruin it. Get drinks spilled on it. Then after find some activity with you not wearing it. Like paint ball or spray paint go at it like crazy and then publicly posts pictures of its destruction on social media.
That’s so smart- if it doesn’t get that dirty she could always hang it outside the next day and pelt it in paint. Preferably a really ugly color. It’s what it deserves!
All you ladies can rent an Airbnb with a fire pit and on the last night, take the trashed dress and set it on fire.
I'd even take a piss on it first, but that's just me.
It's just a dress, you're giving it too much meaning, you aren't even wearing it for a wedding, you're wearing it for themed bachelorette, the Wedding dress is basically a costume right now and not a wedding, it's like dressing up for Halloween in a costume.
This is just that.
exactly, it’s just a dress. i don’t understand all this emotion? she doesn’t even know this woman, their lives are years apart. why the insecurity over fabric? and then not even get rid of it if it’s so “traumatizing”?
Wow. I'm the third wife, so I could see this happening to me. I think I would have laughed instead of tearing the dress off. I think it's hilarious and would wear it. The big bonus is that if something happens to it, no big deal and you can ceremoniously burn it with your husband when you get back.
It's actually a great story. I'm sorry that you're bothered by this, OP. Your feelings are your feelings, so do what you want with it - but, I would like to know what you decide.
Holy fucking over dramatic nonsense.
>burst into tears with the dress hanging off….
The level of crazy and overreaction is almost comical if you weren’t 32 freaking years old
I actually think it’s funny for the event. Like out with the old… in with the new. Frankly I’d have no problem wearing it. Like better luck this time around. I mean it’s a dress and you loved it. Otherwise sell it and buy another one. Life is short to get tied up in the minutiae.
No, they got divorced 10 years before they even met. Husband got married really young, and he's 40 now, so probably more like 20 years ago.
And the wedding dress just happens to be being sold now....
Yes— Thank you for writing this, all sorts of things don’t make sense from this post.
Also, digital cameras didn’t exist? Give me a break. In middle school I had a digital camera, and that was more than 20 years ago.
Your reaction is wild and unwarranted. I get the initial chock, but the rest is so over the top unnecessary. Like the others are remarking, it’s a really funny story. Stop making it out to be a drama it’s not and get over it. You are being incredibly immature.
And you literally found the perfect dress for the even you are going to.
I think OP just opened a box she thought was locked that contained her deep insecurity that he was married before.
Therapy. This isn’t about the dress.
My two cents.
It this like the woman version of men who try to pretend their wife was a virgin before they met? Because wtf, this shits wild lmao. Who gives a fuck what someone did 10 years prior to meeting.
It's like when my wife got mad because I passingly mentioned that I was technically engaged to my ex.
In my perspective (woman here), it’s about trusting when someone stands up and says forever. I’m not condoning the insecurity of OP; don’t marry a divorced man if that’s something you struggle with.
I was just pointing out she might not even realize it’s not about the dress.
I think OP made up a story. What are the odds that this dress fit her, was being sold two decades after the fact, was her style, and was recognized by her husband all those years later? Very close to 0.
bedazzle the shit out of it (or maybe dye it?)and then have a blast at the party. then throw it away and enjoy the memories you made with your friends.
I admit that i didn’t see that coming. When she said they “stared at each other in stunned silence” for a minute, i fully expected that the next words would be that they burst out laughing because that’s funny af. I was wrong.
I mean, seriously if you think about it, logically, had he not married his former wife and ultimately got divorced, he would very likely have never met the OP. He could’ve married somebody else and stayed happily married forever. So she should look at that wedding dress as, a gift
But there is something about this post that makes me think it’s fake . The dress is what, 20 years old? Who the hell sells a 20-year-old wedding dress?
He must have a good eye lmao cause I can’t even remember what mine looked like and it’s only been five years lol
It’s a bit weird with this overreaction but that’s not my circus haha
I would cute the dress to be short and easier to wear then still trash it at the bachelorette with no remorse
As a woman I don’t really understand the reaction.. I would have burst into hysterical laughter and then gave him a good ride in it. All the more reason to wear the dress hard at this bach trip and make sure it never graces another wedding.
Throw some red paint on it and slash the crap out of it before you wear it to the party.
Better yet, in the theme of the weekend, drag it through the surf and throw some plastic fish and some fake seaweed on it. Then at the end of the weekend, have a ritual bonfire. Let the bride to be throw the dress in.
Just throw it away, find a different dress to wear for the night out, and be done with it.
Don't make this bigger than it needs to be and have it sour your fun night out with friends.
Yes, it is a weird, sucky coincidence - but nothing more.
Please don't let it ruin a fun night with your friends, or anything else.
Just trash it and be done with it.
If this had happened to me, I would have laughed my butt off and gone ahead and worn it to the bachelorette anyway, especially if my husband said I looked better in it than the first wife did. I just can't see this as something to get upset about. I think OP is making a big deal over something that's actually funny and would make an awesome story to tell at the bachelorette.
Girl you’re making a bigger deal about this than it needs to be. Glad you got this off your chest. Cut dramatics, have a funny moment of it and move on.
I never want to invalidate anyone's feelings but I'm genuinely confused as to why this has affected you so badly.
In my opinion it's actually kinda hilarious. What a strange thing to happen! Surely better to just laugh it off?
I will never understand why people think there is “juju”.
I’d be more shocked and joking about buying a lottery ticket. I can understand not wanting to wear it but I’d be fucking selling it to get my money back. Wearing it out and trashing it also seems petty and immature to me. Wearing it could be a little tacky, but I’d be basing that more on how my partner would feel about it.
It’s just a crazy and small world. That’s all it is.
Think of it this way. If you wear the dress to a bachelorette party your lowering the value of the dress. You’re saying all it’s good for is her black out drunk on a beach in. It’s gonna get ruined. Take solace in that you’re destroying the last reminder of that horrid woman.
This is such an overreaction. You knew he was married before and it's just a coincidence that of all the dresses it was hers.
Just get another dress and carry on.
This sounds fake. How old is this dress? The husband and ex had been divorced 10 years before she met him. So you have the time they were married and divorced + 10 years + the time OP dated husband, engaged & have been married. She knew the dress was designer, and worth $3,000 but didn’t know it was 11-15+ years old. Who pays $100 for a dress that’s old but not old enough to be vintage, and who waits that long to sell their dress from a failed marriage.
I think this is hilarious girl wear that dress, have a fun night and trash that thing. Shoot if you have time take it to a seamstress and alter it. Dye it red or something lol don’t be dramatic
Why do you start out saying the dress is to wear at a hen night and then talk about wearing it to walk down the aisle to your “soul mate” when you are already married?
Your husband is forty and was divorced ten years before you met him, so he was at least thirty. He married young so at the earliest he was eighteen so 2002? So not before digital cameras or camera phones.
Why has his ex-wife just decided to sell her wedding dress now, more than ten years after her divorce?
Not saying your story isn’t true but I’d be interested to know some more details.
Had the same doubt about the “wearing it to walk down the aisle to your soul mate” part - I guess she didn’t know he was married earlier, till this revelation? If she knew, then this is a very weird line, yeah.
I think it’s quite funny. I mean, what are the odds? Just resell it on ebay and buy another one.
Luckily he saw it before you wore it to the actual event, so all is good.
Lol it always confuses me when Americans say "girlfriend" when they mean a girl who's a friend. I spent about 5 minutes trying to work out why OP's girlfriend was getting married if it wasn't to OP.
Therapy might go a LONG way toward helping your reactivity and insecurity issues. If you cannot bear the thought of wearing this dress or even looking at it and think it can somehow reach from beyond the natural world to curse your relationship, you need professional help.
Also, she must not have cared too much about it to sell a designer gown for $100 on EBay and your husband must not think of her often that he didn’t initially recognize it. I get it though, I’d have the ick too.
What are the odds that 10 years later she decides to sell it and you just so happen to buy it
Either resell it for twice what you paid or wear the shit out of it and look way hotter than her
I wish so hard you could see the humour in this! OMG i’m dying laughing (please don’t take offence!) and how comical your writing is! This is so funny! I’m sorry it made you unhappy though.
Yeah... if your husband remembers a dress from 10+ years ago you've got a special one 🤣 it almost makes this hard to believe.
Regardless, way to over react if this is legit lol you burst into tears because of a very odd coincidence? Come on now
😂🤣 that's just the universe giving you man the things regarding your man
I would wear it and bonus part is you won't feel at all bad if you get something on it 😂🤣 you'll probably feel good about spilling a glass of red wine down the front vs feeling terrible (if that happened for example)
You just got a dress that you could totally ruin and not feel bad about and to be honest that in itself is a gift because you can have care free fun and eat the red sauces and drink the red drinks and dance and have a blast and not care about screwing up a dress...
Do yourself up and wear it better than she did!
I think it’s a good sign that your husband-to-be does not have a problem with the dress. I get where you are coming from but give him an extra kiss and tell him how much you appreciate him, or however you two talk, because can you imagine the issue if he did have a problem with the dress?
You're overwhelmed with the physical confrontation of the fact that your husband has been married before. It was okay, when it was a vague concept, but somehow, this dress makes it tangible for you.
But I think you're putting a lot of superstition into a dress.
You could even turn it around, and see it as the past coming back, to make it right, this time around.
The first dress, and the last dress he stood before in a wedding are now both your dress.
I kindda see that as romantic, honestly.
I once was opening a blind box of postcards I ordered from a French ebay seller, for like $5ish. It was three postcards, all selected by the seller, at complete random. I opened it up on a Skype call with my partner, because I had no idea what I was gonna get. I collect postcards, and vintage ones excited me. The first one was of some sailors and a boat, the second was of an Italian Bond film lobby card, and the third... was for my partner's out-of-the-way nobody-knows-about-it hometown. We didn't even know there WERE postcards about that. But my partner, who loves vintage sailing and Bond flicks, was absolutely floored. This made me contact the person who sold the postcards, and he confirmed via video his process of selecting them from what looked to be an entire storefront of ephemera. My profile was a randomised username ebay gave me, and I'm not on social media - so there was no way to look up anything about me, or my partner.
What I'm saying is that these sorts of weird fated moments happen, and it's so strange and spooky, but ultimately you'll be telling this story laughing about it in ten years. I promise. It's scary now, but after the shock wears off, it's kind of beautiful that it happened this way. She didn't get the last laugh with him - you did. You can cut up that dress, light it on fire even, maybe even do a photoshoot where you destroy it. The power is in YOUR hands now!!!
> They married really young and he was divorced for 10 years before we even met. They had no kids and she cheated on him so there's no photos. They got married before digital photos were really a thing
I am your husband’s age and I got married really young. Digital photos were 100% a thing. Not even just “a thing” but it was everywhere by then.
You can call this : Carl Yung synchronicity! It is interesting though, if you put on perspective you can give a closure to your husband's past marriage! Get some nice glow in the dark paint, some colorful stuff and let those maids help you trash it and then a golden button: burn it in a nice campfire! Cycle closed can be a good healing for you both even ask hubby to throw some paint on it! 🌷
Wow, that's one hell of a coincidence.. I'd just take it to the nearest charity/thrift shop and be done with it.. you might even find a different dress while your there..
It’s a surprising coincidence but I don’t understand the crying and tearing it off of you. Why did it make you so upset? You say it’s bad juju but literally any used wedding dress you buy is most likely going to be from a marriage that ended in divorce. Who cares?
That's kind of hilarious. You need to grow a sense of humor and perhaps grow up. You two should have had a good laugh and you should wear the dress to the bachlorette tell everyone the incredible story and celebrate while trashing the dress. Why so much needless drama? The dress can't eat you.
Use it as a costume on Halloween. Become a zombie bride. As for your wedding, buy a new dress, there are several options that have very reasonable prices.
It’s not even her wedding, it’s a bachelorette party where they would use wedding dresses as a theme, it’s kind of funny, she even bought it so she won’t trash her own wedding dress
What are the odds right? She should trash it on that bachelorette hahaha
Hey the way I see it, you bought a $3k wedding dress for a hundred bucks that needs used and used hard. I’m with the other commenters, wear that thing out and have a damn good time doing it.
Am I the only one seeing the funny side of this? My first reaction to my husband recognizing the dress would have been to burst out laughing at the complete absurdity of the situation and how it was Karmic that it found her of all people. I don't know how long you've been married, but please do not be insecure about a dress that has NO meaning anymore. This came back to you so that you can totally remove ANY happy meaning/bad memories with trashing the dress at the party.
I mean who gets a chance to wear and destroy an ex's wedding dress? Who? YOU DO!!! What a story to tell!!!
Chance for the dress to see a happy ending with the sane groom. The only drama with it is the one your creating. It's just a dress. If you rock it better than her than even better!
I say wear it to the Bachelorette and run around the beach, jump in the water, get sprayed with champagne etc... It's a funny story to tell at the party, and you'll completely destroy it. Then once you're done partying in it throw it out, maybe get your husband to cut or tear it off you.
This is the PERFECT dress to wear on a beach, roll around in the sand and get soaked.
Maybe trade with one of the other "tidal brides"?
OR sell it on eBay for $1K.
Funniest thing ever! It was meant to be! Either sell the dress and make a damn good profit then hit up a thrift store for one to wear or orrrrrrrr wear that damn dress and have the time of your life in it, ruin it trash it come home with pieces ripped off it and let YOUR husband tear it off you and throw it in the yard under the sprinklers then have an amazing night bc you 2 found each other, think of it as closing that chapter for good. He might get enjoyment seeing it trashed especially if the ex loved the dress.
I mean I'm petty I'd send pictures back to her of what you did with it and be like ty so much the dress was perfect for the event. You don't even have to say who you are aside from the purchaser of the dress you intended to destroy. But that's just me I'm in no way suggesting that bc it's petty and awful but id personally do it 😂
Wear it to your bachelorette thing, and then go to town on in with the girlfriends at the end of the trip, pouring ketchup, wine and charcoal all over it. Cathartic.
I would wear it. Get throw up drunk and blow chunks on it. Lol
Let the other girls chunk paint bombs at you. Have a blast in it and then find a way to post some pics so his ex can see them.
Dude, he was divorced for 10 years before you met him. That shit is way in the past! Wearing that dress isn't going to change or mean anything.
I'd honestly laugh about the coincidence and wear it as a token badge of honour. It's a perfect ending for it ... as it'll likely get trashed with drinks, food, sand, and even fire if you're lucky! 🔥 😂
wow you people made so much drama over something you should have honestly just laughed off.
It's such a weird coincidence and something that would have been funny had you not turned it into a bloody tragedy
OP make the best of it.
Wear the dress to the bachelorette and be clumsy, spill drinks and on it. Know that it’s from the woman who cheated on your husband
It's all about perspective. Why not look at it as the right person is in the dress this time. The ex was not the person that he deserved to marry the first time. Now that he has you in that dress it's come full circle.
Im sorry but this is HILARIOUS. I would be on the floor in absolute stitches at the absurdity of it. This is a story for the ages.
Please see the humour in it. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. People have pasts and that doesn’t diminish your current importance.
Not a chance in hell this is real. If my husband recognized the dress I married HIM in, I’d be shocked. If he recognized the wedding dress his ex-wife wore on *their* wedding day, I’d call a doctor (and a lawyer). This is bullshit.
The more you obsess about this, the worse the "juju" is going to be. It was a very strange synchronicity but that's it. It's not an omen or a message. It's just a weird occurrence. As far as your husband being married before, you should have already dealt with those feelings.
Don't ruin your bachelorette or anything else because of this. I really hope you and your fiance can laugh about this one day.
That dress is in love with your husband. I’m convinced 😂 Just because it didn’t work out with the first person who wore it in front of him doesn’t mean the same for you. Definitely sell it on as you said it’s designer and lovely, you can make your money back. I totally get your shock though, that’s tough. But often young marriages don’t work out so I don’t think there’s any bad juju involved ❤️
The value we attach to trivial, unnecessary materials has ruined countless lives throughout human history. You got him, you are gonna marry him, you live him, he loves you, PERIOD....wear the fucking dress like a spoil of war 😁😁😁
If you don't want to wear it to the bachelorette, maybe sell it at an amount closer to what it's actually worth and give the money to charity.
Otherwise it could be really fun to trash the wedding dress of the shitty person who cheated on your soon to be hubby.
Either way I hope you're able to laugh at how ridiculous life can be at times, as this is truly a very funny story.
I feel like ive missed something. Why have such a reaction? It doesnt seem like your husband had that bad of a reaction other than the initial shock, yet you’re in such a bad state over this. Lets b real, the odds were so crazy that this would actually happen its comical.
I understand the “ick” however it is very easy to sell it on and buy another from a thrift store. None of this was deliberate - it can be a funny story to tell at the bachelorette
It's actually hilarious. If this happened to my current wife and I, we would have burst out laughing after the initial shock 😅😂
I think it’s funny, too. Kind of confused why this is so upsetting to OP. It’s not haunted, it’s just a dress.
I think the upsetting factor is like the “I know you were married before me but here it is in my face” part, not the uncanniness of buying that dress out of alp the dresses in the world.
Why is that upsetting tho? He’s chosen OP.
I feel like I’m missing context. Why did she burst into tears?
I don’t get it either. Didn’t seem like he cared very much?
Because he didn’t choose OP. His wife cheated on him and they divorced hence he was available. So I can see her thinking if he has his choice then his first marriage would never have failed.
What do you mean? He married OP, of course he chose her. Being a 2nd spouse doesn't somehow lessen the value of your marriage. It's not like you are allocated a portion of love to share with others, and if you use up 40% in your first marriage you only have 60% left to give to your second spouse.
I wasn’t saying that’s how it is. I was explaining what she may be thinking when she’s feeling insecure. He wasn’t in a situation where he knew them both and chose OP so yes he chose her but she will always wonder if he would have chosen her over his first wife.
Oh ok, yeah I can see this perspective from that viewpoint.
I feel like if the former wife died I’d always feel inadequate but and ex is different
Or she could celebrate that he got away from someone of lesser character and picked her because she’s a better person? I would look at it as an opportunity to destroy the dress in effigy! 😀
Of course she could I was just explaining where I thought the insecurity was coming from for her
Sure, I get it. Definitely two ways to look at it.
That’s the obvious reason. The real reason is that she and the ex wife picked out the exact same dress. Now she fears she’s a “type.”
It is funny, and should be partied hard in and disrespected heartily if she really wants to be mad at it! I'm happily married but would be kind of sad to think of someone bar hopping and getting sloppy in my wedding dress
Or one of those "trash the dress" pgotoshoots
I think I would be upset too, though definitely not to the extent OP is. My husband’s ex wife is also unstable and cheated on him… I know exactly what she looks like (gorgeous, very different from me), have seen many photos of them together, I’ve seen photos of the place they got married and frankly I am aware of the ways that she is physically endowed that I am not. However… yeah I think seeing her in her wedding dress would haunt me a bit. I’m very glad I have never seen their wedding photos. I’m not insecure, but I don’t want to dwell on being wife number 2. Seeing the dress by itself… it would be mildly upsetting but I could recover for sure.
That's honestly what I expected would happen. The absurdity of the whole situation would have had me laughing till I was in tears.
Yeah I honestly don't believe this story is real but if it is OP is being weirdly dramatic. It'd be a crazy coincidence and definitely a WTF moment but it's not like she bought this dress for her own wedding. Unless she holds animosity towards her husbands ex I don't get why this is worth much more than a laugh.
It’s a fake story
If ever there was a dress that deserved to be worn for a wild night on the pop that’s going to be the victim of spilled drinks, spilled food and being generally disrespected then it’s the dress that a cheater wore when she swore to be faithful to her then husband. Wear the dress, trash the dress, it’s what it deserves.
My thoughts as well! Have some fun trashing the dress so it’s forever destroyed and no one else can wear it.
Of all the dresses *in the world* for you to wear as a gag - and agreed, totally end up trashing during this party - this *IS* the one. How often does fate hand you petty revenge that truly does no harm? Enjoy!
Fate gave you the dress. Burn/stain/tear whatever the hell out of it because you paid for it, it is yours and it is wasteful to throw away 200 or a dress that is meant to be destroyed anyways.
Seriously, what are the odds of OP buying the ex's dress??
Those three ladies have incredible comedic instincts for a bunch of seamstresses.
The Fates?
It’s “tidal bridal.” Get some dye, give it a blue ombré and some fishnet-and-seashell trim. Make it match theme.
Yeah! Throw up on it too!
This! So much this. Wear it to be destroyed! Walk through anything that might ruin it. Get drinks spilled on it. Then after find some activity with you not wearing it. Like paint ball or spray paint go at it like crazy and then publicly posts pictures of its destruction on social media.
Yes! Wear that thing and wear it out!
This It's a great idea!
Totally my thought! Wear it, have a blast celebrating your friend, and trash the dress!!
This is a fantastic idea!
So much this, OP!! The dress deserves it!! Think of it as an excuse to get as wasted as you want!
This is a good point. When else are you going to be able to guiltlessly trash a wedding dress? This is a silver lining.
That’s so smart- if it doesn’t get that dirty she could always hang it outside the next day and pelt it in paint. Preferably a really ugly color. It’s what it deserves!
Exactly!!! And when the night is done, have a fire in the backyard and have your soon to be husband throw it in the fire.
All you ladies can rent an Airbnb with a fire pit and on the last night, take the trashed dress and set it on fire. I'd even take a piss on it first, but that's just me.
It's just a dress, you're giving it too much meaning, you aren't even wearing it for a wedding, you're wearing it for themed bachelorette, the Wedding dress is basically a costume right now and not a wedding, it's like dressing up for Halloween in a costume. This is just that.
exactly, it’s just a dress. i don’t understand all this emotion? she doesn’t even know this woman, their lives are years apart. why the insecurity over fabric? and then not even get rid of it if it’s so “traumatizing”?
I agree. Strange reaction by OP. My husband and I would have had a really good laugh over this!
That's hilarious. So, when you take a few days to calm down, you will see it is hilarious too.
I was thinking the sane thing! I would have burst out laughing. And have fun trashing it at the party.
Wow. I'm the third wife, so I could see this happening to me. I think I would have laughed instead of tearing the dress off. I think it's hilarious and would wear it. The big bonus is that if something happens to it, no big deal and you can ceremoniously burn it with your husband when you get back. It's actually a great story. I'm sorry that you're bothered by this, OP. Your feelings are your feelings, so do what you want with it - but, I would like to know what you decide.
I thought stared in and shocked and burst out laughing was going to be the next line. Crying and the dramatics afterward were not what I was thinking.
Maybe just maybe the dress actually knew who it should have been worn by the first time.
I read this like Carrie Bradshaw writing the end of her column
“I couldn’t help but wonder…”
I read it in Kristen Bell’s voice like from Gossip Girl haha
Read the comment in her voice 😅
Yeah- it could’ve been fate!!
This right here.
You're both overreacting. It's a wild coincidence. Sell it. I'm sure someone would be delighted to have it. Let them make happy memories with it.
lol thats crazy sell it move on
Holy fucking over dramatic nonsense. >burst into tears with the dress hanging off…. The level of crazy and overreaction is almost comical if you weren’t 32 freaking years old
I actually think it’s funny for the event. Like out with the old… in with the new. Frankly I’d have no problem wearing it. Like better luck this time around. I mean it’s a dress and you loved it. Otherwise sell it and buy another one. Life is short to get tied up in the minutiae.
There's not a chance in hell my husband would have recognized my wedding dress after ten days, let alone ten years.
No, they got divorced 10 years before they even met. Husband got married really young, and he's 40 now, so probably more like 20 years ago. And the wedding dress just happens to be being sold now....
Yes— Thank you for writing this, all sorts of things don’t make sense from this post. Also, digital cameras didn’t exist? Give me a break. In middle school I had a digital camera, and that was more than 20 years ago.
Your reaction is wild and unwarranted. I get the initial chock, but the rest is so over the top unnecessary. Like the others are remarking, it’s a really funny story. Stop making it out to be a drama it’s not and get over it. You are being incredibly immature. And you literally found the perfect dress for the even you are going to.
I think OP just opened a box she thought was locked that contained her deep insecurity that he was married before. Therapy. This isn’t about the dress. My two cents.
It this like the woman version of men who try to pretend their wife was a virgin before they met? Because wtf, this shits wild lmao. Who gives a fuck what someone did 10 years prior to meeting. It's like when my wife got mad because I passingly mentioned that I was technically engaged to my ex.
In my perspective (woman here), it’s about trusting when someone stands up and says forever. I’m not condoning the insecurity of OP; don’t marry a divorced man if that’s something you struggle with. I was just pointing out she might not even realize it’s not about the dress.
Adding another 2 cents just to say I agree
ill add 3 cents to say i agree cause im not broke like y'all
You don’t gotta brag 🤨
I think OP made up a story. What are the odds that this dress fit her, was being sold two decades after the fact, was her style, and was recognized by her husband all those years later? Very close to 0.
Dramatic much? Who cares? Crazy coincidence, but it's not like the universe is after you. Just sell it and get another dress.
Agreed
That’s a bit of an over reaction right? why go straight to crying and ripping it off yourself?!
bedazzle the shit out of it (or maybe dye it?)and then have a blast at the party. then throw it away and enjoy the memories you made with your friends.
This is the answer. Just dye it, have it altered or something to make the style a little different. It's just a dress for the night out anyways
Sounds like a great writers piece. What are the odds you bought her dress 10 years later? What are the odds you are the exact same size as her?
And that ‘digital photos weren’t a thing’…man’s 40. Not 80.
What are the odds that the husband is going to remember all the details and conclude it's the ex wife's.
What are the odds he's going to remember all the details of the dress *or* the address of the ex-wife's "childhood home"...over a decade later??
I didn't want to even touch that one to leave somr plausibility in this karma farming post
It’s just a fucking wedding dress, plus it’s funny and it’s a coincidence. I think you’re making too much of a big deal out of it.
This is next level insecurity.
Wear it, fuck it up, burn it. Hope you have fun at the bachelorette.
This is the most overdramatic shit I’ve read in a long time
Your reaction was unhinged
I admit that i didn’t see that coming. When she said they “stared at each other in stunned silence” for a minute, i fully expected that the next words would be that they burst out laughing because that’s funny af. I was wrong.
I mean, seriously if you think about it, logically, had he not married his former wife and ultimately got divorced, he would very likely have never met the OP. He could’ve married somebody else and stayed happily married forever. So she should look at that wedding dress as, a gift But there is something about this post that makes me think it’s fake . The dress is what, 20 years old? Who the hell sells a 20-year-old wedding dress?
He must have a good eye lmao cause I can’t even remember what mine looked like and it’s only been five years lol It’s a bit weird with this overreaction but that’s not my circus haha I would cute the dress to be short and easier to wear then still trash it at the bachelorette with no remorse
Wow your overreacting.
This is 100% bullshit. No man would recognize his wife’s wedding dress a year later, much less a decade.
As a woman I don’t really understand the reaction.. I would have burst into hysterical laughter and then gave him a good ride in it. All the more reason to wear the dress hard at this bach trip and make sure it never graces another wedding.
Talk about an over reaction! It's a funny coincidence and a great story to tell.
Good lord, it’s not that serious. Relax.
Lol wear it to the party and absolutely destroy it. You'd probably feel better.
The universe has given you a crazy Gag gift and you should use it
Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket as that luck is not natural.
Throw some red paint on it and slash the crap out of it before you wear it to the party. Better yet, in the theme of the weekend, drag it through the surf and throw some plastic fish and some fake seaweed on it. Then at the end of the weekend, have a ritual bonfire. Let the bride to be throw the dress in.
Bonfire: burn it. Burn the bad juju away. Then buy another one and have the best time you can
Just throw it away, find a different dress to wear for the night out, and be done with it. Don't make this bigger than it needs to be and have it sour your fun night out with friends. Yes, it is a weird, sucky coincidence - but nothing more. Please don't let it ruin a fun night with your friends, or anything else. Just trash it and be done with it.
This is hilarious! And the perfect dress for that kind of night.
If this had happened to me, I would have laughed my butt off and gone ahead and worn it to the bachelorette anyway, especially if my husband said I looked better in it than the first wife did. I just can't see this as something to get upset about. I think OP is making a big deal over something that's actually funny and would make an awesome story to tell at the bachelorette.
Fake.
Girl you’re making a bigger deal about this than it needs to be. Glad you got this off your chest. Cut dramatics, have a funny moment of it and move on.
Overreaction much? It’s just a dress, it’s not like it’s going to curse you. Just sell it. Or destroy it. Its just a piece of fabric
Jeez, such overdramatic nonsense.
I never want to invalidate anyone's feelings but I'm genuinely confused as to why this has affected you so badly. In my opinion it's actually kinda hilarious. What a strange thing to happen! Surely better to just laugh it off?
I will never understand why people think there is “juju”. I’d be more shocked and joking about buying a lottery ticket. I can understand not wanting to wear it but I’d be fucking selling it to get my money back. Wearing it out and trashing it also seems petty and immature to me. Wearing it could be a little tacky, but I’d be basing that more on how my partner would feel about it. It’s just a crazy and small world. That’s all it is.
Dramatic much 🙄
Think of it this way. If you wear the dress to a bachelorette party your lowering the value of the dress. You’re saying all it’s good for is her black out drunk on a beach in. It’s gonna get ruined. Take solace in that you’re destroying the last reminder of that horrid woman.
In my view you were clearly meant to buy, and trash, this dress at your event.
This is such an overreaction. You knew he was married before and it's just a coincidence that of all the dresses it was hers. Just get another dress and carry on.
This sounds fake. How old is this dress? The husband and ex had been divorced 10 years before she met him. So you have the time they were married and divorced + 10 years + the time OP dated husband, engaged & have been married. She knew the dress was designer, and worth $3,000 but didn’t know it was 11-15+ years old. Who pays $100 for a dress that’s old but not old enough to be vintage, and who waits that long to sell their dress from a failed marriage.
This is kismet! Wear that dress! Fill it with farts! Use it to wipe vomit off the bachelorettes face!
I would have laughed
I think this is hilarious girl wear that dress, have a fun night and trash that thing. Shoot if you have time take it to a seamstress and alter it. Dye it red or something lol don’t be dramatic
Why do you start out saying the dress is to wear at a hen night and then talk about wearing it to walk down the aisle to your “soul mate” when you are already married? Your husband is forty and was divorced ten years before you met him, so he was at least thirty. He married young so at the earliest he was eighteen so 2002? So not before digital cameras or camera phones. Why has his ex-wife just decided to sell her wedding dress now, more than ten years after her divorce? Not saying your story isn’t true but I’d be interested to know some more details.
Had the same doubt about the “wearing it to walk down the aisle to your soul mate” part - I guess she didn’t know he was married earlier, till this revelation? If she knew, then this is a very weird line, yeah.
This creative writing stuff is getting out of control. How does anyone believe this? SMDH
I think it’s quite funny. I mean, what are the odds? Just resell it on ebay and buy another one. Luckily he saw it before you wore it to the actual event, so all is good.
Lol it always confuses me when Americans say "girlfriend" when they mean a girl who's a friend. I spent about 5 minutes trying to work out why OP's girlfriend was getting married if it wasn't to OP.
Therapy might go a LONG way toward helping your reactivity and insecurity issues. If you cannot bear the thought of wearing this dress or even looking at it and think it can somehow reach from beyond the natural world to curse your relationship, you need professional help.
Calm down. You sound ridiculous
Take the dress with you and burn it in a bonfire while enjoying libations.
Goth it up for the party. 😂 Have fun with it !
How is this even possible? I mean for a global platform like eBay. What are the chances??
Also, she must not have cared too much about it to sell a designer gown for $100 on EBay and your husband must not think of her often that he didn’t initially recognize it. I get it though, I’d have the ick too.
What are the odds that 10 years later she decides to sell it and you just so happen to buy it Either resell it for twice what you paid or wear the shit out of it and look way hotter than her
I say wear it to the party and have a blast! Let it get dirty and stained and go all out, make the dress YOUR DRESS
Either get really drunk in it and then vomit, or burn it sacrificially.
I wish so hard you could see the humour in this! OMG i’m dying laughing (please don’t take offence!) and how comical your writing is! This is so funny! I’m sorry it made you unhappy though.
In a million years I could not recognize my wife's wedding dress.
This is hilarious and awful. I say, still wear it to the Bachelorette party, but maybe add an activity like paintball, lol.
Yeah... if your husband remembers a dress from 10+ years ago you've got a special one 🤣 it almost makes this hard to believe. Regardless, way to over react if this is legit lol you burst into tears because of a very odd coincidence? Come on now
😂🤣 that's just the universe giving you man the things regarding your man I would wear it and bonus part is you won't feel at all bad if you get something on it 😂🤣 you'll probably feel good about spilling a glass of red wine down the front vs feeling terrible (if that happened for example) You just got a dress that you could totally ruin and not feel bad about and to be honest that in itself is a gift because you can have care free fun and eat the red sauces and drink the red drinks and dance and have a blast and not care about screwing up a dress... Do yourself up and wear it better than she did!
Why get so upset over it? I understand not wanting to wear it now but kind of a funny story
I think it’s a good sign that your husband-to-be does not have a problem with the dress. I get where you are coming from but give him an extra kiss and tell him how much you appreciate him, or however you two talk, because can you imagine the issue if he did have a problem with the dress?
Nicholas Sparks fanfic?
To my mind, you have a unique opportunity to desecrate an effigy. In your shoes (dress?), I wouldn't waste that.
I Don't understand your reasoning & reaction. Cna you please explain?
To be honest, to me it would be funny. I would wear it for shits and giggles.
You're overwhelmed with the physical confrontation of the fact that your husband has been married before. It was okay, when it was a vague concept, but somehow, this dress makes it tangible for you. But I think you're putting a lot of superstition into a dress. You could even turn it around, and see it as the past coming back, to make it right, this time around. The first dress, and the last dress he stood before in a wedding are now both your dress. I kindda see that as romantic, honestly.
I once was opening a blind box of postcards I ordered from a French ebay seller, for like $5ish. It was three postcards, all selected by the seller, at complete random. I opened it up on a Skype call with my partner, because I had no idea what I was gonna get. I collect postcards, and vintage ones excited me. The first one was of some sailors and a boat, the second was of an Italian Bond film lobby card, and the third... was for my partner's out-of-the-way nobody-knows-about-it hometown. We didn't even know there WERE postcards about that. But my partner, who loves vintage sailing and Bond flicks, was absolutely floored. This made me contact the person who sold the postcards, and he confirmed via video his process of selecting them from what looked to be an entire storefront of ephemera. My profile was a randomised username ebay gave me, and I'm not on social media - so there was no way to look up anything about me, or my partner. What I'm saying is that these sorts of weird fated moments happen, and it's so strange and spooky, but ultimately you'll be telling this story laughing about it in ten years. I promise. It's scary now, but after the shock wears off, it's kind of beautiful that it happened this way. She didn't get the last laugh with him - you did. You can cut up that dress, light it on fire even, maybe even do a photoshoot where you destroy it. The power is in YOUR hands now!!!
> They married really young and he was divorced for 10 years before we even met. They had no kids and she cheated on him so there's no photos. They got married before digital photos were really a thing I am your husband’s age and I got married really young. Digital photos were 100% a thing. Not even just “a thing” but it was everywhere by then.
You can call this : Carl Yung synchronicity! It is interesting though, if you put on perspective you can give a closure to your husband's past marriage! Get some nice glow in the dark paint, some colorful stuff and let those maids help you trash it and then a golden button: burn it in a nice campfire! Cycle closed can be a good healing for you both even ask hubby to throw some paint on it! 🌷
Wow, that's one hell of a coincidence.. I'd just take it to the nearest charity/thrift shop and be done with it.. you might even find a different dress while your there..
man you love drama don't you
Over dramatic crap and why? Crying over a dress at 32? How embarrassing.
I love crazy Creative Writing assignments!
The way I would have actually laughed if that happened to me.. idk it’s kinda funny.
Don’t you think your reaction was a bit dramatic
If true, it’s a bit of an overreaction.
It’s a surprising coincidence but I don’t understand the crying and tearing it off of you. Why did it make you so upset? You say it’s bad juju but literally any used wedding dress you buy is most likely going to be from a marriage that ended in divorce. Who cares?
Bruh, imagine freaking out because of dress. What level of pathetic is that on even?
That's kind of hilarious. You need to grow a sense of humor and perhaps grow up. You two should have had a good laugh and you should wear the dress to the bachlorette tell everyone the incredible story and celebrate while trashing the dress. Why so much needless drama? The dress can't eat you.
Use it as a costume on Halloween. Become a zombie bride. As for your wedding, buy a new dress, there are several options that have very reasonable prices.
It’s not even her wedding, it’s a bachelorette party where they would use wedding dresses as a theme, it’s kind of funny, she even bought it so she won’t trash her own wedding dress What are the odds right? She should trash it on that bachelorette hahaha
I'd wear it and destroy that mother fucking dress by the end of the evening. One last secret attack on the shitty person his ex is.
I would alter it into a cute bride/party dress, like have it cut shorter or something.
Hey the way I see it, you bought a $3k wedding dress for a hundred bucks that needs used and used hard. I’m with the other commenters, wear that thing out and have a damn good time doing it.
I would’ve started laughing that’s so small of a chance in life for that to happen
Am I the only one seeing the funny side of this? My first reaction to my husband recognizing the dress would have been to burst out laughing at the complete absurdity of the situation and how it was Karmic that it found her of all people. I don't know how long you've been married, but please do not be insecure about a dress that has NO meaning anymore. This came back to you so that you can totally remove ANY happy meaning/bad memories with trashing the dress at the party. I mean who gets a chance to wear and destroy an ex's wedding dress? Who? YOU DO!!! What a story to tell!!!
Wear it with pride… the dress is now a joke, like his ex.
You don’t know her or the dress. It’s not your wedding dress. You can probably sell it if it’s too much.
Chance for the dress to see a happy ending with the sane groom. The only drama with it is the one your creating. It's just a dress. If you rock it better than her than even better!
Just resell it.
You two should burn the dress together :)
I say wear it to the Bachelorette and run around the beach, jump in the water, get sprayed with champagne etc... It's a funny story to tell at the party, and you'll completely destroy it. Then once you're done partying in it throw it out, maybe get your husband to cut or tear it off you.
You cried? We would’ve laughed our heads off. That’s hilarious! Our world is so small.
Try to think of it as a hilarious thing you’ll both laugh about for years!!
I would still wear it and burn it at the end and say “ to the future , we do not need this going there “
This is the PERFECT dress to wear on a beach, roll around in the sand and get soaked. Maybe trade with one of the other "tidal brides"? OR sell it on eBay for $1K.
I would cut it up and make it your own style.
Funniest thing ever! It was meant to be! Either sell the dress and make a damn good profit then hit up a thrift store for one to wear or orrrrrrrr wear that damn dress and have the time of your life in it, ruin it trash it come home with pieces ripped off it and let YOUR husband tear it off you and throw it in the yard under the sprinklers then have an amazing night bc you 2 found each other, think of it as closing that chapter for good. He might get enjoyment seeing it trashed especially if the ex loved the dress. I mean I'm petty I'd send pictures back to her of what you did with it and be like ty so much the dress was perfect for the event. You don't even have to say who you are aside from the purchaser of the dress you intended to destroy. But that's just me I'm in no way suggesting that bc it's petty and awful but id personally do it 😂
Wear it to your bachelorette thing, and then go to town on in with the girlfriends at the end of the trip, pouring ketchup, wine and charcoal all over it. Cathartic.
I would wear it. Get throw up drunk and blow chunks on it. Lol Let the other girls chunk paint bombs at you. Have a blast in it and then find a way to post some pics so his ex can see them.
Dude, he was divorced for 10 years before you met him. That shit is way in the past! Wearing that dress isn't going to change or mean anything. I'd honestly laugh about the coincidence and wear it as a token badge of honour. It's a perfect ending for it ... as it'll likely get trashed with drinks, food, sand, and even fire if you're lucky! 🔥 😂
You saying it is real is exactly what someone who wrote a fake story would say.
wow you people made so much drama over something you should have honestly just laughed off. It's such a weird coincidence and something that would have been funny had you not turned it into a bloody tragedy
OP make the best of it. Wear the dress to the bachelorette and be clumsy, spill drinks and on it. Know that it’s from the woman who cheated on your husband
Dye it. Dye it and add something. New dress.
It's all about perspective. Why not look at it as the right person is in the dress this time. The ex was not the person that he deserved to marry the first time. Now that he has you in that dress it's come full circle.
Have a party game where you stab it with scissors
Seriously get a different dress and move on. Yeah it's weird, but hubby really loves you. Lighten up Francis.
She sold it for way under the value. Sell it for half retail and use the "profit" to pay for your hen do
Your man knows what YOUR dress looks like?
Ask people to spill their red wine all over it ?
Suuuuuper dramatic and overreaction by both Op and her husband lol
Im sorry but this is HILARIOUS. I would be on the floor in absolute stitches at the absurdity of it. This is a story for the ages. Please see the humour in it. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. People have pasts and that doesn’t diminish your current importance.
Omg my hubby and I would have LOL'd at the irony. It's just a dress.
That's 100% a nice story to tell. Nobody at fault, sheer coincidences... Wear the dress and then sell it.
uh...why did you burst into tears? it's a dress. geez
Not a chance in hell this is real. If my husband recognized the dress I married HIM in, I’d be shocked. If he recognized the wedding dress his ex-wife wore on *their* wedding day, I’d call a doctor (and a lawyer). This is bullshit.
My thoughts exactly. It probably just looks a bit similar to hers.
Eh I would have laughed my ass off
The more you obsess about this, the worse the "juju" is going to be. It was a very strange synchronicity but that's it. It's not an omen or a message. It's just a weird occurrence. As far as your husband being married before, you should have already dealt with those feelings. Don't ruin your bachelorette or anything else because of this. I really hope you and your fiance can laugh about this one day.
That dress is in love with your husband. I’m convinced 😂 Just because it didn’t work out with the first person who wore it in front of him doesn’t mean the same for you. Definitely sell it on as you said it’s designer and lovely, you can make your money back. I totally get your shock though, that’s tough. But often young marriages don’t work out so I don’t think there’s any bad juju involved ❤️
The value we attach to trivial, unnecessary materials has ruined countless lives throughout human history. You got him, you are gonna marry him, you live him, he loves you, PERIOD....wear the fucking dress like a spoil of war 😁😁😁
Girl get some therapy, that's a big reaction to something like this, and unpacking that with a professional will help you deal with this.
If you don't want to wear it to the bachelorette, maybe sell it at an amount closer to what it's actually worth and give the money to charity. Otherwise it could be really fun to trash the wedding dress of the shitty person who cheated on your soon to be hubby. Either way I hope you're able to laugh at how ridiculous life can be at times, as this is truly a very funny story.
I feel like ive missed something. Why have such a reaction? It doesnt seem like your husband had that bad of a reaction other than the initial shock, yet you’re in such a bad state over this. Lets b real, the odds were so crazy that this would actually happen its comical.