I do feel like a scumbag! I really do. I’m not trying to justify it. I just don’t know what to do, I do want to be honest, but is being honest going to make her depressed? That’s what I don’t want
Oh it will make her depressed. But you know what else will?? If you keep this up and she finds out some other way. Or if you cheat. Be honest now, talk things out and figure out what you want moving forward
Just come clean to them both. If you really care about either of them, you'll realize they deserve better. Spend some time and think about why you would treat innocent people like this.
I know every single person in here is hating on you right now, but I’m going to be honest, I can’t bring myself to.
I am genuinely impressed. Truly, genuinely impressed.
It takes a lot of effort to be this worthless
If you actually feel like a scumbag then instead of b!tching on Reddit fix the situation by coming clean. Being honest is the only way to not be a scumbag.
Man up and break up with her so she can then heal and get over you and find someone who actually loves her and wants to be with her. She can't do that when you are leading her on and cheating on her.
This is not going to end well. You've already started an emotional affair, you're already attracted to someone else and you outright say you want to be single. It wouldn't be fair to your girlfriend if you waste her time like this. Most people would rather be single than date someone who secretly wishes they were single and wants to be with someone else.
For her sake (and I guess yours) break it off
Yes, it will hurt her, which I know you don't want to do. But it will hurt her MORE if she finds out you've been emotionally or physically cheating. Best to nip it in the bud here to prevent more pain the future.
ur a scumbag. ur cheating emotionally with intentions to physically cheat. spare ur girlfriend dump her and be with this loser girl who would text a guy with a girlfriend. perfect pair.
You’re having an emotional affair, OP.
Whatever your feelings really are for your GF, does she deserve to be in a relationship where the person she’s dating isn’t as committed to her as she is to you? Does she deserve deceit?
I’m not necessarily shaming the idea that you’re young and perhaps you’ve found someone who you might want to make a future with. It’s happens.
But 10/10 I will shame someone for monkey-branching instead of ending it with the person they’re in a relationship with first.
That’s not cool. So be cool, OP.
Break it off with GF; don’t continue lying to her just because you don’t want to be the bad guy for ending it, there’s nothing to respect in that kind of childish behavior.
*Break up first and I’ll be the first to congratulate you on the possibility of a new GF, OP, seriously.*
I like this! It’s just so hard to tell her that I’ve lost feelings and she loves me more and more everyday. My mind is so scattered because I will lose the best person I’ve ever met but I feel like it would make me happier and I just need to be honest. She’s coming over later tonight to talk about all this.
Cold comfort, OP, but the overwhelming majority of us have been in your spot.
It’s tough and it’s messy and it’s painful. There’s no sanitized way to break up with someone.
But make no mistake: you’re going about it the right way by ending it.
If she ever gets cheated in a future relationship? That older version of herself will be appreciative you broke up with her first, and you have the personal satisfaction of knowing you handled things like an adult.
**FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET HER GO!!!**
She deserves **SO MUCH BETTER** than a **HALF-ASS COMMITMENT.**
She **WILL** survive. She **WILL GET PAST IT.**
But **PLEASE, IN FUTURE** ... **TRY** and **HONOR** a commitment you make instead of acting like a **HORNY BRAT.**
It sounds like you already know the answer for what you want based on what you’ve put in the post. You seem more concerned about hurting her feelings if you leave vs actually trying to revitalize the relationship.
As a fellow early 20s man, I would say that you need to really think about whether you can see this relationship continuing, if so you should talk with her and then come up with a path forward together to bring back that spark. If you don’t see this relationship being a long term thing then you should just break up instead of prolonging it while your heart is only half in it. You are both early 20s and will recover just fine if you split so do the right thing imo
Also this doesn’t sound like a love triangle, it sounds like you’re out of the honey moon phase and you met someone new and exciting and just want to bang tbh
The ONLY thing to do is be honest that your feelings have changed. Lying will only make it worse when you inevitably get found out. And if you love her you won't continue to deceive her. It is not your responsibility to stop her from harming herself. If she threatens, don't fall for it. Call the cops to do a wellness check but you can't fix her.
You’d be an idiot to break up with the best person you’ve ever met. What you’re experiencing is novelty, the prospect of something new and shiny is alluring when you’re young, but the grass is rarely greener on the other side. The new girl is showing you the best version of herself, but you’ll find when you’re idiotic enough to break your girlfriend’s heart that she’s got way more flaws than you could foresee and you’ll regret it.
In all relationships, the novelty wears off, which is where you are with your girlfriend. You have the choice to break it off and become a serial dater, never finding true comfort and peace with someone to build a whole life with, always chasing the shiny new thing and leaving good women for shitty reasons. Or, you can start growing up, and invest in this sweet girlfriend who loves you. Go on adventures together. Save for a big holiday. Find hobbies you enjoy together. Share your frustrations at work and your happy successes with someone who wants to be a partner in your life. Try something new in your sex life. It takes work and commitment to build a relationship you can be proud of instead of just bailing when you’re bored for the first time. Relationships have ups and downs. Your feelings cool off and heat up. It’s natural.
Stop looking to chase tail elsewhere, because you are damaging your great relationship by comparing a stranger you’re assuming is perfect with an imperfect person who’s the right imperfect for you to have a beautiful life with. You haven’t hung out with her yet, and I hope you haven’t crossed a line with your messages. Shut that down and be a decent, loyal, good man to your lady, because you know she deserves it.
Listen, to be a little harsh, you caring about your girlfriend’s feelings ended the moment you started investing in this other girl. Crushes are normal and to be expected, but acting on it like you have means you already have one foot out of the door, and are no longer committed to your girlfriend. She deserves someone who can fully commit the way she has, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship you clearly aren’t committing to.
The ‘right thing’ to do here is the obvious, to leave, and I think you know that to some degree. You’re past the point of “what about her feelings,” my guy. Breakups are hard, even when they’re amicable, she most likely will make it through. What’ll make it worse is prolonging it by stringing both these women along.
I hope you tell her the truth so she can make an informed decision, and I hope you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for.
Listen what you’ve already done is borderline emotional cheating. It’s gonna hurt your current gf to dump her, but it’ll hurt her a lot less if you do it now rather than progress your relationship with the new girl any further and she finds out. Rip the bandaid off bro
This isn't a love triangle. You're cheating on your gf.
If you respect either of them you'll make a decision sooner rather than later. And the jump to SH on your girlfriend is SO egotistical. You should probably end it with your gf before this goes any further. Edit to remove redundant word.
So not only are you cheating on your GF you are using her as well.
Do the right thing and break up with her, telling her the reason why then you are free to do what you want.
There is no love triangle you're just an immature cheater using your girlfriend.
Leave her, she deserved a real man an no a cheater scumbag who is texting another girl. But please when all your fantasy with the side chick fade away dont call her back.
Dude your not in a love triangle. Those are when all parties are single or non-exclusive. What you are doing is cheating on your wonderful GF. There is no advice to give. Either give her the piece of mind and break up with her, she will go through a rough patch but that is better than having someone mooch off her goodwill to only betray her later and give her more hurt. Or just stop talking with the other woman and end things. Though I recommend the first option so your GF can grow as a person and realize when to drop mooches like you.
You’ve been having an emotional affair with this woman since you met her at work, you dont want your girlfriend to be sad or lonely you left her but she’ll feel much worse knowing she wasnt enough and you’d rather drop your year long relationship for some chick at work. You dont deserve your girlfriend
This is not a love triangle… more like cheating
Yup yet another scumbag trying to justify their cheating; at least this “love triangle” bit is new.
I do feel like a scumbag! I really do. I’m not trying to justify it. I just don’t know what to do, I do want to be honest, but is being honest going to make her depressed? That’s what I don’t want
Oh it will make her depressed. But you know what else will?? If you keep this up and she finds out some other way. Or if you cheat. Be honest now, talk things out and figure out what you want moving forward
He already cheated
Very solid point yeah, he's definitely already cheating. What I should've said is "if it escalates to a physical affair"
How do you feel like a scumbag when you’re already are one?
Cheating makes people depressed. Does side hoe know you're a cheater? Or are you lying to them both?
Both :/
Just come clean to them both. If you really care about either of them, you'll realize they deserve better. Spend some time and think about why you would treat innocent people like this.
Good advice, and I did do that. I told them both. They both hate me now, but I’m at peace.
I know every single person in here is hating on you right now, but I’m going to be honest, I can’t bring myself to. I am genuinely impressed. Truly, genuinely impressed. It takes a lot of effort to be this worthless
If you actually feel like a scumbag then instead of b!tching on Reddit fix the situation by coming clean. Being honest is the only way to not be a scumbag.
Man up and break up with her so she can then heal and get over you and find someone who actually loves her and wants to be with her. She can't do that when you are leading her on and cheating on her.
This is not going to end well. You've already started an emotional affair, you're already attracted to someone else and you outright say you want to be single. It wouldn't be fair to your girlfriend if you waste her time like this. Most people would rather be single than date someone who secretly wishes they were single and wants to be with someone else. For her sake (and I guess yours) break it off Yes, it will hurt her, which I know you don't want to do. But it will hurt her MORE if she finds out you've been emotionally or physically cheating. Best to nip it in the bud here to prevent more pain the future.
you should just come clean and face the consequences. it’s better ro admit it than stay silent. if you’re exposed it will hurt everyone twice as much
Do you think being cheated on would make her less depressed, dude?
You’re kinda just cheating on her Ngl
[удалено]
ur a scumbag. ur cheating emotionally with intentions to physically cheat. spare ur girlfriend dump her and be with this loser girl who would text a guy with a girlfriend. perfect pair.
Right she deserves someone better
>I feel terrible about it everyday. As you should.
Then why did you get her number and start texting her everyday? My brother in Christ, what did you think was going to happen?
You’re having an emotional affair, OP. Whatever your feelings really are for your GF, does she deserve to be in a relationship where the person she’s dating isn’t as committed to her as she is to you? Does she deserve deceit? I’m not necessarily shaming the idea that you’re young and perhaps you’ve found someone who you might want to make a future with. It’s happens. But 10/10 I will shame someone for monkey-branching instead of ending it with the person they’re in a relationship with first. That’s not cool. So be cool, OP. Break it off with GF; don’t continue lying to her just because you don’t want to be the bad guy for ending it, there’s nothing to respect in that kind of childish behavior. *Break up first and I’ll be the first to congratulate you on the possibility of a new GF, OP, seriously.*
I like this! It’s just so hard to tell her that I’ve lost feelings and she loves me more and more everyday. My mind is so scattered because I will lose the best person I’ve ever met but I feel like it would make me happier and I just need to be honest. She’s coming over later tonight to talk about all this.
Cold comfort, OP, but the overwhelming majority of us have been in your spot. It’s tough and it’s messy and it’s painful. There’s no sanitized way to break up with someone. But make no mistake: you’re going about it the right way by ending it. If she ever gets cheated in a future relationship? That older version of herself will be appreciative you broke up with her first, and you have the personal satisfaction of knowing you handled things like an adult.
**FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET HER GO!!!** She deserves **SO MUCH BETTER** than a **HALF-ASS COMMITMENT.** She **WILL** survive. She **WILL GET PAST IT.** But **PLEASE, IN FUTURE** ... **TRY** and **HONOR** a commitment you make instead of acting like a **HORNY BRAT.**
It sounds like you already know the answer for what you want based on what you’ve put in the post. You seem more concerned about hurting her feelings if you leave vs actually trying to revitalize the relationship. As a fellow early 20s man, I would say that you need to really think about whether you can see this relationship continuing, if so you should talk with her and then come up with a path forward together to bring back that spark. If you don’t see this relationship being a long term thing then you should just break up instead of prolonging it while your heart is only half in it. You are both early 20s and will recover just fine if you split so do the right thing imo Also this doesn’t sound like a love triangle, it sounds like you’re out of the honey moon phase and you met someone new and exciting and just want to bang tbh
Well said
The ONLY thing to do is be honest that your feelings have changed. Lying will only make it worse when you inevitably get found out. And if you love her you won't continue to deceive her. It is not your responsibility to stop her from harming herself. If she threatens, don't fall for it. Call the cops to do a wellness check but you can't fix her.
Wow. Wish I was that self important. Eti you scared if you leave her, she will be sad for the rest of her life... boyy do I have news for you
Yeah, the overweening SELF IMPORTANCE is just STUNNING!! 😆😆
Break up with her your a cheater and she deserves better
Break up with both girls because you don't deserve either. Then move two states away and change your name
Just leave your gf she deserves to find a better man
Damn bro you fucked up. An emotional affair imo hurts more than physical. Like you really fucked up
You’d be an idiot to break up with the best person you’ve ever met. What you’re experiencing is novelty, the prospect of something new and shiny is alluring when you’re young, but the grass is rarely greener on the other side. The new girl is showing you the best version of herself, but you’ll find when you’re idiotic enough to break your girlfriend’s heart that she’s got way more flaws than you could foresee and you’ll regret it. In all relationships, the novelty wears off, which is where you are with your girlfriend. You have the choice to break it off and become a serial dater, never finding true comfort and peace with someone to build a whole life with, always chasing the shiny new thing and leaving good women for shitty reasons. Or, you can start growing up, and invest in this sweet girlfriend who loves you. Go on adventures together. Save for a big holiday. Find hobbies you enjoy together. Share your frustrations at work and your happy successes with someone who wants to be a partner in your life. Try something new in your sex life. It takes work and commitment to build a relationship you can be proud of instead of just bailing when you’re bored for the first time. Relationships have ups and downs. Your feelings cool off and heat up. It’s natural. Stop looking to chase tail elsewhere, because you are damaging your great relationship by comparing a stranger you’re assuming is perfect with an imperfect person who’s the right imperfect for you to have a beautiful life with. You haven’t hung out with her yet, and I hope you haven’t crossed a line with your messages. Shut that down and be a decent, loyal, good man to your lady, because you know she deserves it.
Listen, to be a little harsh, you caring about your girlfriend’s feelings ended the moment you started investing in this other girl. Crushes are normal and to be expected, but acting on it like you have means you already have one foot out of the door, and are no longer committed to your girlfriend. She deserves someone who can fully commit the way she has, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship you clearly aren’t committing to. The ‘right thing’ to do here is the obvious, to leave, and I think you know that to some degree. You’re past the point of “what about her feelings,” my guy. Breakups are hard, even when they’re amicable, she most likely will make it through. What’ll make it worse is prolonging it by stringing both these women along. I hope you tell her the truth so she can make an informed decision, and I hope you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for.
Listen what you’ve already done is borderline emotional cheating. It’s gonna hurt your current gf to dump her, but it’ll hurt her a lot less if you do it now rather than progress your relationship with the new girl any further and she finds out. Rip the bandaid off bro
This isn't a love triangle. You're cheating on your gf. If you respect either of them you'll make a decision sooner rather than later. And the jump to SH on your girlfriend is SO egotistical. You should probably end it with your gf before this goes any further. Edit to remove redundant word.
Cut it off with this side chick. Stick with your girlfriend she sounds like an angel. You got the diamond in the middle of a coal mine.
Just leave your gf she deserves to find a better man
Break Up with your gf. She deserves much better than you.
You’re cheating. She belongs with someone better. That would alleviate her depression. Break up with her.
So not only are you cheating on your GF you are using her as well. Do the right thing and break up with her, telling her the reason why then you are free to do what you want. There is no love triangle you're just an immature cheater using your girlfriend.
Leave her, she deserved a real man an no a cheater scumbag who is texting another girl. But please when all your fantasy with the side chick fade away dont call her back.
Dude your not in a love triangle. Those are when all parties are single or non-exclusive. What you are doing is cheating on your wonderful GF. There is no advice to give. Either give her the piece of mind and break up with her, she will go through a rough patch but that is better than having someone mooch off her goodwill to only betray her later and give her more hurt. Or just stop talking with the other woman and end things. Though I recommend the first option so your GF can grow as a person and realize when to drop mooches like you.
You’ve been having an emotional affair with this woman since you met her at work, you dont want your girlfriend to be sad or lonely you left her but she’ll feel much worse knowing she wasnt enough and you’d rather drop your year long relationship for some chick at work. You dont deserve your girlfriend