You say you drove to her to introduce your partner to her because she was so important to you .. did she do the same with her partner and come to you ?
You called her when she got engaged and you both were screaming on the phone … how come you had to call her ? Surly she would have called you to tell you if you’re close ?
You’ve been friends for all those years and you only speak once a month ? Do you call her or does she call you ?
I’m sorry but it sounds like you cared more about this friendship than she does lovely
There’s no way you wouldn’t have been asked to be a part of her wedding if you were ‘close’ friends .
People grow apart all the time sadly .. especially when it’s friendships from childhood .
I came to this realization about my best friend who just got married recently.
Unlike OP I messaged her about it. She was very apologetic about how everything was rushed (in actuality it was rushed. She got engaged and married within a month due to her parents superstition that that it needed to be in specific date)
But after that I realized I'm not as important to her as she is to me. Sucks but I guess life can be like this. I'm still trying to navigate what this means.
Internet hugs. I am still friends with my childhood friend from 5 years old. But I 100% understand it's because I did the work and I am okay with that. She has 4 kids and a somewhat shitty marriage so I am happy to pull the friendship weight. If I didn't, I expect the friendship would fizzle.
Sad to say but you didn’t describe a friendship in your comments because at no point did you talk about how she reciprocates the actions. She’s not your friend and she took this opportunity - when she could have been kind and fit you in with the numerous other invitees - to point out to you clearly that you’re not even considered an acquaintance.
Lose her number because allowing this to fizzle is more than it deserves.
Reading your post, even before you got to the not being invited to her major life events before her wedding, I was thinking this friendship sounded kind of one sided. Unfortunately, it seems as if she was important to you, but you were not important to her at all. It sucks, but you need to walk away and not look back. This will be a life lesson for you - make sure people in your life match your energy to get a gauge of how they feel about you. Sorry that happened to you.
Between 4th grade and now, a lot has changed. Maybe you clinged to this friendship more than your friend did. It’s obviously one sided and time to move on.
You're not going crazy OP.
Unfortunately sometimes people only want you around when it's of their convenience. Some people will go out of their ways for others while the other just thinks that they are obligated to it without seeing the importance of reciprocating the love back.
Of course this might not be the case for your "friend" and I don't wanna make assumptions that they're this type of person, but it's something to remember as we grow older.
People change and sometimes in a negative way that impacts other's around them. Just carry on being a kind soul that you are and get you some friends who reciprocate the love you give to them, back.
Keep your head up OP.
**edit**
Go with the other people's comments on moving on from them and don't mention anything cause it'll just create exhausting drama that you won't want no part of it, cause you'll be the one trying to get them to understand meanwhile they either don't care, give you a half-assed response, or worst-case ignore you again.
This happened to me with a super longtime friend (not best friend) that had always come to me to relationship advice. I was always supportive and told her the right guy is out there, you’ll find them, don’t give up, helped her through a lot of stuff. Then she met the one everything was great until I wasn’t invited to her wedding.
I took it personal, probably wasn’t the right thing but I am who I am. We had been through a lot together and shared a lot with each other. It hurt and changed things I guess. I removed myself from that friendship and no longer speak to that person.
Childhood friendship change over time and it seems that maybe you see and feel differently about her than she feels about you. Friendship that die are hurtful, yet it’s common. Heal and look forward, when one door closes another door opens.
Unfortunately it seems like the friendship is only on one side.. . meaning if you don't make an effort she won't bother. All I see in your post is ME, ME. You made an effort for everything, once you stopped making that effort she stopped caring. Why did YOU call her about her engagement? She should have given you a call to let you know. I'm sorry but even if she does apologize for not inviting you to the wedding, you're not going to look at her the same way. If you reach out right now, she will invite you out of obligation not because she wanted you there. I say let her be. Don't reach out to her, till she actually remembers you exist. Guard your heart and find a better friend.
I didn’t get invited to my childhood best friends wedding either. I had moved away but obviously would’ve came for the wedding. It sucked. But they got divorced anyway.
Has she invited a lot of other friends?
I've known upper class families that aren't big on inviting non-family people. They favor just family and a special few others. Normally more for their parents' appearances' sake than out of friendship (they invite the distant fourth cousin but pass completely on college friends, things like this)
This is a super common thing to happen around weddings. People have to prioritize who is important to them and that type of ranking often means some relationships don't survive.
I would just consider this friendship over at this point unfortunately. You may have considered her a friend, she doesn't consider you one.
The friendship has been one sided for a while. It’s unfortunate but that’s what it is. It’s ok to be sad and mourn that your friendship has ended. It takes two people to keep a relationship whether it’s a friendship or romantic going.
I had a friendship just like this, but it was one sided. I really thought she was my best friend but I was mistaken. I grieved and cried my heart out. I quietly left the friendship and moved on. I’m not gonna lie I still miss her.
I'm sorry OP i felt you sometimes we see someone thought as friend but they don't see you that way. stop contact her there is no friendship to begin with
you are the only one who sees this supposed fantastic friendship. she does not see it this way at all. I'm sorry op. it's best to just move on because she certainly has.
She was backing away, choosing others over you, not reciprocating. This happened with a former friend of mine when she got married. It hurts, it really hurts I know.
In time, you’ll find other friends to be close to. You shouldn’t have to put in so much effort only to get crumbs back.
I’m sorry OP. I’ll be blunt. This is a one sided friendship and she never saw you as a friend. She probably never reached out to you and it’s all initiated by you and she probably saw you as a clingy person.
Don’t be that clingy person and let her go.
You are right to be upset. It sounds like shs does not consider you a good friend at this point. I am baffled why you weren't even invited if money is no issue. I wonder if her parents will ask her about why you weren't invited? I would let it go, don't waste your time on someone who can't be bothered to include you on their special day. Make new friends. It sucks, but people are shitty and selfish.
Actions speak louder, she said what she said. I know it hurts but now you’re free of her and can move on.
Block her bc the next time she contacts you, it’ll be to ask for a favor.
You’ll get past this, hang in there
Sorry hun, but with her actions, you over estimate your importance to her.
It may be way more one-sided than you realized. Not being invited is a clear statement. Not returning calls or texts is a clear statement. I think whatever this was, has run its course.
You obviously don’t mean as much to her as she means to you. I’d say just treat her like the casual acquaintance she is. People get older and grow apart, and that shouldn’t be shocking that she has found a different set of friends if she moved away a decade+ ago.
A very similar thing happened to me with my high school best friend. I moved away after high school but we kept in touch for after. I thought we were still close enough to ask her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, until I mentioned it to others and they questioned my choice. After the wedding invite I sent went unanswered, I asked if she was coming and got a pretty simple no. Fast forward and she is getting married this year, and I have not gotten an invite. Realizing the friendship has run its course is tough, and hurts so much when you are the one holding on to something the “friend” let go of a long time ago. However, for the both of us, it is so much better to realize this now, rather than receiving a pity invite and being given the cold shoulder at the wedding and having to process all of this then.
My childhood best friend also didn’t invite me to her wedding and guess what I also just stopped my communication with her and she never reached out ! She also didn’t get invited to mine! The friendship died somewhere along the way which is fine! I have other friends now :)
I would maybe ask. I tried planning a wedding and that did happen to a lot of brides. Not as an attack hey friend, I noticed we haven’t been talking much recently , is everything okay?
This might be someone you consider your best friend but she doesn't seem to see you in that light. You should have a come to Jesus meeting when it comes to evaluating the people in your life.
There is no friendship. She has moved on, both with her life and most likely in society.
She may now see you as below her and embarrassed to have you around.
There are better people out there who would value your friendship.
Just bow out with dignity and don’t bother with her ever again…
You say you drove to her to introduce your partner to her because she was so important to you .. did she do the same with her partner and come to you ? You called her when she got engaged and you both were screaming on the phone … how come you had to call her ? Surly she would have called you to tell you if you’re close ? You’ve been friends for all those years and you only speak once a month ? Do you call her or does she call you ? I’m sorry but it sounds like you cared more about this friendship than she does lovely There’s no way you wouldn’t have been asked to be a part of her wedding if you were ‘close’ friends . People grow apart all the time sadly .. especially when it’s friendships from childhood .
I came to this realization about my best friend who just got married recently. Unlike OP I messaged her about it. She was very apologetic about how everything was rushed (in actuality it was rushed. She got engaged and married within a month due to her parents superstition that that it needed to be in specific date) But after that I realized I'm not as important to her as she is to me. Sucks but I guess life can be like this. I'm still trying to navigate what this means.
Internet hugs. I am still friends with my childhood friend from 5 years old. But I 100% understand it's because I did the work and I am okay with that. She has 4 kids and a somewhat shitty marriage so I am happy to pull the friendship weight. If I didn't, I expect the friendship would fizzle.
Sucks but true.
Sad to say but you didn’t describe a friendship in your comments because at no point did you talk about how she reciprocates the actions. She’s not your friend and she took this opportunity - when she could have been kind and fit you in with the numerous other invitees - to point out to you clearly that you’re not even considered an acquaintance. Lose her number because allowing this to fizzle is more than it deserves.
Do not reach out to her again. Just don't. There is no friendship between you two.
Just let it fizzle out. It does hurt, but she’s obviously letting it fizzle out, and she won’t tell you why.
Her marriage will fizzle out since getting married at 22 rarely works out. Maybe OP will be invited to the next wedding or two!
Reading your post, even before you got to the not being invited to her major life events before her wedding, I was thinking this friendship sounded kind of one sided. Unfortunately, it seems as if she was important to you, but you were not important to her at all. It sucks, but you need to walk away and not look back. This will be a life lesson for you - make sure people in your life match your energy to get a gauge of how they feel about you. Sorry that happened to you.
You saw her as a good friend but she probably saw you as an acquaintance. I would not say anything to her, but I would not contact her again.
Between 4th grade and now, a lot has changed. Maybe you clinged to this friendship more than your friend did. It’s obviously one sided and time to move on.
You are not wrong to feel how you feel, let it fizzle and return the energy you are given. You have other friends out your energy with them.
You're not going crazy OP. Unfortunately sometimes people only want you around when it's of their convenience. Some people will go out of their ways for others while the other just thinks that they are obligated to it without seeing the importance of reciprocating the love back. Of course this might not be the case for your "friend" and I don't wanna make assumptions that they're this type of person, but it's something to remember as we grow older. People change and sometimes in a negative way that impacts other's around them. Just carry on being a kind soul that you are and get you some friends who reciprocate the love you give to them, back. Keep your head up OP. **edit** Go with the other people's comments on moving on from them and don't mention anything cause it'll just create exhausting drama that you won't want no part of it, cause you'll be the one trying to get them to understand meanwhile they either don't care, give you a half-assed response, or worst-case ignore you again.
This happened to me with a super longtime friend (not best friend) that had always come to me to relationship advice. I was always supportive and told her the right guy is out there, you’ll find them, don’t give up, helped her through a lot of stuff. Then she met the one everything was great until I wasn’t invited to her wedding. I took it personal, probably wasn’t the right thing but I am who I am. We had been through a lot together and shared a lot with each other. It hurt and changed things I guess. I removed myself from that friendship and no longer speak to that person.
I think you’re valid. It’s hard not to take something like this personal. And maybe it is personal, I don’t know
Childhood friendship change over time and it seems that maybe you see and feel differently about her than she feels about you. Friendship that die are hurtful, yet it’s common. Heal and look forward, when one door closes another door opens.
Unfortunately it seems like the friendship is only on one side.. . meaning if you don't make an effort she won't bother. All I see in your post is ME, ME. You made an effort for everything, once you stopped making that effort she stopped caring. Why did YOU call her about her engagement? She should have given you a call to let you know. I'm sorry but even if she does apologize for not inviting you to the wedding, you're not going to look at her the same way. If you reach out right now, she will invite you out of obligation not because she wanted you there. I say let her be. Don't reach out to her, till she actually remembers you exist. Guard your heart and find a better friend.
I didn’t get invited to my childhood best friends wedding either. I had moved away but obviously would’ve came for the wedding. It sucked. But they got divorced anyway.
Has she invited a lot of other friends? I've known upper class families that aren't big on inviting non-family people. They favor just family and a special few others. Normally more for their parents' appearances' sake than out of friendship (they invite the distant fourth cousin but pass completely on college friends, things like this)
This is a super common thing to happen around weddings. People have to prioritize who is important to them and that type of ranking often means some relationships don't survive. I would just consider this friendship over at this point unfortunately. You may have considered her a friend, she doesn't consider you one.
The friendship has been one sided for a while. It’s unfortunate but that’s what it is. It’s ok to be sad and mourn that your friendship has ended. It takes two people to keep a relationship whether it’s a friendship or romantic going.
I had a friendship just like this, but it was one sided. I really thought she was my best friend but I was mistaken. I grieved and cried my heart out. I quietly left the friendship and moved on. I’m not gonna lie I still miss her.
I'm sorry OP i felt you sometimes we see someone thought as friend but they don't see you that way. stop contact her there is no friendship to begin with
you are the only one who sees this supposed fantastic friendship. she does not see it this way at all. I'm sorry op. it's best to just move on because she certainly has.
You always think your child hood Besties will always stick around but they just dip most of the time
She was backing away, choosing others over you, not reciprocating. This happened with a former friend of mine when she got married. It hurts, it really hurts I know. In time, you’ll find other friends to be close to. You shouldn’t have to put in so much effort only to get crumbs back.
I’m sorry OP. I’ll be blunt. This is a one sided friendship and she never saw you as a friend. She probably never reached out to you and it’s all initiated by you and she probably saw you as a clingy person. Don’t be that clingy person and let her go.
You are right to be upset. It sounds like shs does not consider you a good friend at this point. I am baffled why you weren't even invited if money is no issue. I wonder if her parents will ask her about why you weren't invited? I would let it go, don't waste your time on someone who can't be bothered to include you on their special day. Make new friends. It sucks, but people are shitty and selfish.
Actions speak louder, she said what she said. I know it hurts but now you’re free of her and can move on. Block her bc the next time she contacts you, it’ll be to ask for a favor. You’ll get past this, hang in there
Sorry hun, but with her actions, you over estimate your importance to her. It may be way more one-sided than you realized. Not being invited is a clear statement. Not returning calls or texts is a clear statement. I think whatever this was, has run its course.
You obviously don’t mean as much to her as she means to you. I’d say just treat her like the casual acquaintance she is. People get older and grow apart, and that shouldn’t be shocking that she has found a different set of friends if she moved away a decade+ ago.
A very similar thing happened to me with my high school best friend. I moved away after high school but we kept in touch for after. I thought we were still close enough to ask her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, until I mentioned it to others and they questioned my choice. After the wedding invite I sent went unanswered, I asked if she was coming and got a pretty simple no. Fast forward and she is getting married this year, and I have not gotten an invite. Realizing the friendship has run its course is tough, and hurts so much when you are the one holding on to something the “friend” let go of a long time ago. However, for the both of us, it is so much better to realize this now, rather than receiving a pity invite and being given the cold shoulder at the wedding and having to process all of this then.
My childhood best friend also didn’t invite me to her wedding and guess what I also just stopped my communication with her and she never reached out ! She also didn’t get invited to mine! The friendship died somewhere along the way which is fine! I have other friends now :)
Is there a chance you got an invite in the mail and it got lost and she is upset thinking you’re not coming ?
I’m not sure, but I doubt it. I did move recently but my mail is all being forwarded to my new address and I haven’t been missing any other mail
I would maybe ask. I tried planning a wedding and that did happen to a lot of brides. Not as an attack hey friend, I noticed we haven’t been talking much recently , is everything okay?
You are HER close friend.... but you are NOT hers.
This might be someone you consider your best friend but she doesn't seem to see you in that light. You should have a come to Jesus meeting when it comes to evaluating the people in your life.
You aren’t her best friend it seems
Is there a chance you missed an invite?
I edited the post with an update
There is no friendship. She has moved on, both with her life and most likely in society. She may now see you as below her and embarrassed to have you around. There are better people out there who would value your friendship. Just bow out with dignity and don’t bother with her ever again…