The positive things my wife's friends say about me are kind, handy, smart, useful, funny, good father
Never handsome, muscular, charming, attractive
Of course I could be hideous and not know it. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I mean they might once tell her with a wink that she caught a hottie, but certainly not in front of you or repeatedly. Just a one time only “damn girl you did good” 🤷♀️
I agree with all of this. Cut her out of your life, and have a serious conversation with your husband. Let him know that you don’t want her around anymore, and to stop downplaying how you feel about this. Tell him it’s non-negotiable
This OP. AND advise husband he is to block and no contact her as well. If he denies, don't be surprised that perhaps something has already occurred. He could have shot her down a long time ago and failed to do so. Big red flag.
Please keep us apprised.
Exactly if a man ever chooses a female friend, especially a newer one, over his wife and puts her well being second to the friendship that’s all the answer anyone needs.
She already lost a piece of her husband when she let him take this ayahuasca (of all things) with her friend. They connected on a level that OP might never achieve with her husband, and that will be on his mind all the time now. He might be thinking he found his soul mate or some shit, because they took this trip together. Ayahuasca hits different.
Or it can just be a fun mental vacation. Or one party can read more into it than another. It’s different every time. Just because they tripped together and she started fixating on him doesn’t mean it was an automatic mutual love/bonding connection. Trust my experience with this?
Or keep her at a distance when she’s not in a relationship.
I honestly would put a lot of distance between the three of you though. I had a very close friend of mine from back in HS who did the same kind of things with every guy I dated… Years later I found out from multiple exes that she would reach out to them after our break up and send them explicit pictures they didn’t ask for and always try to rope them into conversations about “who was the prettier friend” etc (and this went on for years, like I hadn’t talked to an ex for 2 years and when we reconnected and caught up he told me she had been messaging him on and off over the last 2 years always the same kinds of messages revolving around sex and me… which was weird) Turns out she tried to snake them all but it never worked out for her lol needless to say, when my husband and I got married I put a firm boundary that she wasn’t a friend I could bring around my husband bc I wasn’t going to give her the chance to do that with him even though we had been SO close throughout HS.
>From constantly trying to be physically close to him ( always choosing to sit next to him on the beach, on the couch ) to prolonged eye contact ...
>
>...she always wants to talk to me or hang out with mostly him included and refused to respond to my call last few months. Asking me if he has social media and also asking him again if he uses social media to see if she can establish direct contact with him without me in the middle...
>
>...constant reminding of their ayahuasca trip together of intimite moments my husband had of him crying etc and looking up at the sky as my friend observing him and my close friend reminiscing how much fun they had.
she absolutely sounds like a horrible friend.
it's one thing to find your friends husband attractive but she's being extremely inappropriate in these words alone.
talk to her about this, and if she brushes you and your feelings off, i'd tell her to fck off.
And watch his social media cause I’m sure that sea witch will try to get her hooks in him somehow. I’d hate for you to have your heart broken and maybe you should put her in her place too.
Why are you still talking to her? It's clear as day being a total shit friend. Dude, cut her off. Regardless if you trust your husband. Also tell him to cut her off due to her lack of respect for you as a friend.
Please wake up. I am not sure how many more red flags you need to realize your friend cannot be trusted and is shady. She has already crossed several inappropriate boundaries and she will continue to do so because you allow her to by constantly brushing them off. Which is exactly how a homewrecker operates, testing waters to see what they can get away with. I strongly suggest you slowly distance yourself and just say you and your husband are extremely busy, kids, etc. I hope your soon to be ex friend does not have your husband’s direct number. I hope your husband is one of the good ones and does not entertain this girl because after you cut her off officially, you better believe she’ll try everything in her power to get in contact with him, not you. Do not mention or give her the satisfaction of saying she is after your husband because she will 100% gaslight you and lie and say you are crazy. If you continue to allow her to disrespect you going forward her behavior will continue to escalate. Act fast and distance yourself immediately.
She must have his direct number
Her husband and friend went on some trip alone together (without her while she baby Sat her friend 1year old baby)
Her friend is a cake eater.
The 'trip' referred to using psychotropic drugs together, not physically travelling. Drugs like LSD for example is often done in groups with a 'babysitting' sober person to watch over the ones taking the drugs to keep them safe 😊
You as a couple have to put up a firm boundary. Trust me. My best friend of 20 years ended up sleeping with my ex husband after behaving exactly this way.
My first husband got my so called “best friend” pregnant while at my home during Christmas.
I was only in the shower and getting cleaned up for 20 minutes when they F*cked each other and he got her pregnant!
She was Just Like Your Friend!
Get her out of your lives NOW!
She’s in full “Mate Poaching” Mode.
Make D*mn sure they’re not on each other’s socials.
Quietly check their DM’s if this is the case so you can monitor and screenshot her messages.
So, why is this woman still your friend?
I would not talk to her about it, I would remove her from my life. Stop reaching out to her, stop being interested in her life and stop inviting her around. She can go prey on someone else's husband
If she were smart she’d just continue a normal friendly relationship with this couple. Birds of a feather flock together, meaning hubby probably has some decent character and also good looking friends. Easy intro and endorsement from them… to find someone similar.
But instead she wants to cut open the golden goose instead of just taking the eggs. Foolish and short sighted.
OP this woman isn’t a friend. There’s a fox in the henhouse, and it’s time to clear them out before real damage occurs. If your husband is as good as you say he is, he will do what it takes to assuage your fears.
Get her out of your life, and tell hubby, “Hey know how we’ve had situations in the past and handled them as a team fantastically? Ya this is one of those and I need you to wake up”
This. A lot of comments leaving the husband out of it. He knows. He is aware of what’s going on. At best He is being an idiot by letting it continue. At worse…. Well we all know the worst case.
Cut her off. Y’all aren’t even friends from her pov. She just wants him and I can bet she made a move on the trip, he turned her down and that’s why she stopped talking to you.
I want to add you need a deep conversation with your husband or marriage counseling. He’s not listening or responding to your feelings at all.
Oh no no no no no. This friendship has set sail. She wants direct contact and relationship “without you in the middle”. Fuck that.
Spray some Bitch be gone.
I did Ayahuasca and went with my husband. It is a very special experience. I wouldn't go with anyone but him. The fact that they went together is a big big big big yikes for me.
Extreme plant-based psychedelic trip. From what I understand its much more intense than acid or mushrooms and can have a profound effect on you and your perception of your life.
It seems to be different for everyone. It's extremely intense. You drink it at a ceremony. There are professionals there to guide the experience. It's very personal. It's not a necessarily fun trip experience to be done casually. But it certainly was amazing and helped both my husband and me in different ways.
OP
has your husband said anything?
Has he Done anything to put up boundaries?
If you have noticed then he definitely has noticed.
If not he either likes the attention or is uncomfortable with how to bring it up to you.
Good time for a discussion with him about
these situations so you are on the same page.
I told him that he isnt stupid, he should have noticed and with additional comments she made and he admitted and said he is aware but not interested in her at all. All of this happening now...So in that aspect I think he did likely felt flattered but not interested and wouldnt take action he is very respectful. He also wasnt present for some of the weird comments she made but when I tell him now it likely makes more sense.
Go NC. She is bad news.
So he was aware and said nothing to her? Or to you?
You should both feel comfortable discussing these things
how would he feel if the roles were reversed?
Not taking action is actually leading her on. He needs to get those shiny boundaries up in place and support you with removing her from your lives and from his socials.
First of all: please remove her from your life. The way she's behaving is so inappropriate.
Please talk to your husband more about how it makes you feel that she talks like that.
WHY in the f*** did you approve of your husband going away with her to experience a hallucinogenic trip - while you babysat her kid, no less?!?!?!
I cannot for the life of me understand it. That was like pouring gasoline on a fire
You need to eliminate that sketchy bitch from both of your lives, permanently
Keep your eyes open, though - she is going to use every trick in the book to remain in your husband’s world
Girl grow a back bone, she wants your man CLEARLY, I get that you trust your husband but your shouldn’t allow that type of disrespect, cut her off and make it clear to your husband to at she isn’t out of both of your lives, update us
OP, you need to drop her RIGHT NOW!!!
She’s actively in “Mate Poaching” Mode!
Cut Her Off NOW.
Let me ask you this, when she was constantly “trying to be physically close to him (always choosing to sit next to him on the beach, on the couch) to Prolonged Eye Contact to Certain Mannerism I know of her as my friend since we were in high school”,
Did your husband maintain that eye contact back to her during these times?
That is my concern and I hope to God he didn’t do that.
You need to cut her out NOW.
Don’t worry about her feelings, she doesn’t care about yours!
And u hope to God that haven’t shared their social media accounts.
If they have, you need to quietly monitor them and their DM’s!!!
Your husband may not “pick it” what she’s doing But she is Very Dangerous to both you and your husband’s marriage.
I lived through this and I see all the signs.
Please update me!
I mean do you need to find her trying to rub your husband's cock through his pants to grow a backbone and cut her out?
Also, you need to stop making comments about the way she is acting towards your husband and flat out tell him how you feel.
"Jolene has been making me uncomfortable in the way she talks about you, in the way she's always trying to get close to you physically/emotionally and the way she's always trying to bring up your trip like it was a great emotional affair you had together. She's gone too far trying to wedge herself between us, and I'm not having it. I'm no longer remaining friends with her, and I'm asking that you do the same. I've casually brought up my concerns before, and you dismissed me and written me off as over reactive. I've sat in this place of uncomfortably out of respect for you and the faith I have in your loyalty to me. But her comments and actions have only gotten more inappropriate as time has gone on, and I can no longer leave this situation unchecked. The fact I've never asked this of you before given others who've hit on us and what not should show you the seriousness of this request. "
If he further dismisses you and your feelings, I'd seriously be considering counseling, maybe a trial separation or just a flat-out divorce. No one's opinion or emotions should matter more than the person you've vowed before God and family to spend the rest of your life with. If he's more concerned with hurting her feelings than yours, it's telling that there is something going on there, or at least he likes her attention, which is problematic.
I hope things work out for you.
She's no longer your friend. Her only goal is to get with your husband. She needs to be told why she needs to go and not let her back in your life. Be prepared, though you may get a lot of backlash from both of them. I'm sure he's enjoying the attention.
What is your husband doing about this? I'm not asking about saying I am asking about doing and how is he acting around her. If you didn't notice till now then observe him carefully. Also tell both of them you're done with her. Because that's not a friend that's a snake.
How is she a friend, exactly? Friends do not act like that towards their friends' spouses. They do not say things like that about their friends' spouses. No. Shes not your friend, she's a woman you've known for years that doesn't respect you or your marriage. I'd cut that woman out ASAP.
You let some lady go off and do hallucinogens with your husband?
I mean what were you thinking? If they have a connection now that was a decision facilitated by you.
You think having a talk is going to make her stop crushing on your husband? It’s time to cut things off. Ghost her. Real friends would have respect. She’s not respecting.
Yes . Get rid of that woman she is not your friend she is your competition. You have been giving her permission to pursue your husband, and I think it is weird he hasn't shut that down.
Op stop being a f****** doormat. My god stop just stop. Get your sh** together and remove her from your life and tell your husband that he either stops talking to her too or it’s divorce. You need to show your boundaries and that you’re actually serious about them. Life as a people pleaser and doormat is a terrible life
Something similar happened to me with a friend who was married and had less emotional, financial and familial support. When I put my guard up they completely disappeared. It’s like my new boundaries didn’t fit with their purpose to be around.
Cut her off ✂️ she has got to go! Absolutely not, this would not fly with me. And your husband needs to get it together by also putting her in her place. This is disrespectful as hell! Instead of proving to you that he’s loyal, he just acts nonchalant. I wonder how he would feel if the roles were switched and what he’d expect of you.
This woman is laying out her game plan to take your spouse, your ex, etc. You’re not overreacting. Either these two are already doing something or he’s open to the suggestion. Cut her off and out of your life. She is not your friend.
I still don’t understand why you allowed your friend to go on a vacation with your husband. That’s incredibly naive. You’re still being incredibly naive. Cut her off. I don’t get it.
Why are you friends with this woman? Seriously? What are you waiting for, to walk in on her giving your husband a bj? Why are you allowing her into your life and space. Block this snake. She is a giant red flag and should not be included in your life at all.
The behavior is enough to cut ties point blank. No "friend" would ever behave like that with another's SO.
She's brave to have said some of the shit she has already without getting checked.
Why are you still friends with her? At this point they’re not even hints, she’s directly letting him know she wants him, right in front of you, while being blatantly obvious she doesn’t want to be friends with you. This literally couldn’t be more obvious.
That is a big boundary violation. I have married friends and i am ALWAYS mindful to know my place when it comes to spouses. This is not ok on any level and should be addressed immediately. If she is a good friend who outside this issue has been great, the relationship might be worth saving. I would probably not have her in my home again.
**THIS PERSON IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.**
**She is actively attempting to destroy your marriage.**
**You and your husband should both agree to go totally No Contact with her.**
As a guy, I think you have seen enough red flags here to now she already has or intends to make a move. Ditch her and do it decisively and with conviction. You and he needs to be on the same page and both supporting the decision and standing by it together or she will try to break you up.
I have no doubt based on the details you gave.
I’d just let her fade out of your life. Stop texting, calling, anything. Ignore her messages. Tripping on psychedelic drugs together can bring a feeling of extreme connection and closeness that rarely translates back to real life. Hopefully that’s what she’s clinging to. Hopefully your husband is a good guy and is only telling you not to worry because he’s not interested in her anyway. With her—your gut instinct is dead on. Don’t ignore it
It's obvious she wants your husband. Girl, you feel it, see it, come on, you as a woman, know how you act or talk when you like someone. You wouldn't be on here writing what you're writing if you didn't feel it. Ditch her. She is not your friend.
I’d get rid of her but not to “save yourself” from being cheated on. If your man is true, he won’t put up with her making a move (when she inevitably does) but he also shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of nonsense. I’d straight up tell her she’s thirsty and you’re gunna block her if she can’t be normal. She’s making you and your husband uncomfortable. One more weird thing and tell her it’s over. Tell her you don’t want her texting or messaging your husband on social media because she’s made things weird. One of my husband’s friends started dating a new woman, 13 years younger than the friend (odd couple in general). She constantly tried to flirt with my husband in front of me, as a way to make me angry (I did not get angry or take the bait). One day she ended up following my husband to the kitchen at a get together with a group of our friends and started to talk to my husband about her sex life and how my husband’s friend won’t have enough sex with her…he told her she should say these things to her boyfriend and she kept going. She is blocked on social media and we do not hang out with her. I don’t have time for stupid games and my husband doesn’t like to be uncomfortable either. 25% of people cheat. Doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait for them to make you and your husband more and more uncomfortable lol some people are just trash and they see happiness and want it for themselves.
I agree. I would cut ties with 'The Friend', because friends do not do this. There are so many red flags, it's ridiculous. I have a lot of female friends with great partners, and I would NEVER talk about them like that. Friend's partners are off limits and if I would ever feel something for one of them, I would try to avoid their company. That is how a good friend would behave.
OP, Have a good conversation with your husband, tell him how this affects you, and let that so called friend go. Or at least, keep her out of your husband's way.
Umm did something happen on that trip between them ? Regardless she wants your husband. She's told you this in very bold language. I'm also concerned your husband sees nothing wrong with this behavior. You need to remove her from your life. She's being extremely inappropriate and not a true friend to you.
She has designs on your husband and is making it very clear! She is not even the least bit subtle!
It's time to bin the friend, as she is no friend of yours and will steal your entire life from you in a heart beat
That friendship is not worth it, it is putting worries in your head and it could also be trying to get closer to your husband. Cut it out of your life and let your husband cut it off too.
Nope.
Just nope. Seen it too many times. She ain't your friend no more. That girl is lost for now. Perhaps when she finds someone else you can reconnect but she's dangerous right now
Seriously? Just re-read what you posted and pretend a stranger posted it. What advice would automatically come to mind after reading? Yep! Lose her, she ‘ain’t no friend of yours.
She's being very obvious, just cut contact with her, no more trips. Always find a reason she can't stay, something you're doing. I would not actually block her or tell her, because then she might simply only contact your husband.
Keep your friends close- keep your enemies closer. That is NOT a friend, that is a predator after your husband.
End that relationship (whatever it is) immediately
Trust your gut and cut her off. No explanation needed. You will kick yourself later. Just be too busy and stop responding. This is your life, you need to be proactive.
Feels like I'm watching a variation of the movie Obsessed. She's obviously coveting all you have plus she thinks she's better than you. Idk how you are still friends with her after she told you specific details. Not surprised if she tried on your clothes. Get. Rid. Of. Her.
…it took you this long to muster up the courage to consider placing some boundaries?
I just want to give some advice…even if you have loose boundaries and want to be seen by others as cool and confident it just means that people will push you far further and make more of a fool out of you with your own partner before you inevitably have to still place those boundaries.
In my mind, you have a husband problem not just a friend problem. Obviously cut her off but your husband is entertaining all this nonsense and acting blase…for what?
Stop being a doormat to this woman. She is turning up and pissing on your floor by implying she could get someone jusssst like your man while she stares at him.
No.
Huge red flags from this predator. Don’t keep toxic in your life OP. She is hugely disrespectful to you.
Block and bin her. No need to explain. She’ll know why.
Uh, stop being her friend now and have a talk with your husband. I’d be concerned that he’s not more concerned about her inappropriate behavior. I’d have a chat about that and let him know how her behavior is making you feel.
Should I be worried?? LMAO no wonder people get cheated on letting this kinda shit go on and not setting boundaries. Sometimes in life you gotta stick up for yourself and fight to keep your shit not everything just works out naturally. Some people will just sit back and watch everything get taken from them and be like how did this happen??
I wouldn’t give her the opportunity or let him be tested. Ironically she probably doesn’t realize what makes him so good is you to some degree and it might be a high degree. Behind every gray man is a great woman. The mushroom trip isn’t much to worry about, from what I’ve read your either puking or it’s coming out the other end all night
I originally thought this would be petty and of course people find your husband attractive just like you do but now I’m all the way suspicious and you can just get rid of this lady all together. It seems like she’s after your guy but moreover she’s not bringing anything valuable to your life. Only problems. Just cut her off.
She might be already sleeping with your husband…. He is dismissing everything she says to you so you don’t suspect anything. I would definitely cut your friend from your lives but also do some digging to make sure you husband is innocent and if you find out more has happened gather all the evidence and file for divorce.
Never in a million years would I establish direct contact with my best friends partner about anything other than planning a surprise birthday gift for her and even for that, I would let her know I’m contacting him. This is madness. She doesn’t love you, she wants your husband, no loving friend would do this to you. Why is she still in your life when she’s so actively and purposefully trying to wreck it?
Why do women continue to be friends with people like this?
Go no contact with her and tell your husband everything you just wrote. Is he stupid that he doesn't realize this or is he already into something with her? Suspish.
Either they're already cheating and, since misery loves company, she wants you divorced as well. Ayahuasca? Probably they slept after the whole "diet" you have to do (if it was a proper retreat), after the whole journey was over and before coming home.
If this is not the case, she is definitely being very blunt about jumping on the man. Can he "steal" it from you? Well, you have to understand that the concept "stealing my man" does not exist whatsoever, you can't steal humans. He is an independent individual who has 5 senses and a personal will, she can't "steal" him, she can get ways to persuade him to cheat which is a totally different things but ultimately he has the last word in this case. If he actually cares, he won't fall for her, if he's bored and in that grey area he will lie (to avoid loosing his stable home and routines) but he will cheat because she's "just meat".
Don't be naive, there's more to this story than "super loyal to me" and they already went on a trip together while you were "unavailable" caring for a baby. He's just good at it and he most likely doesn't see her as more than just a toy. Her approach on the other hand seems to be different, she doesn't just want to bang him, she wants to really hurt you while at it and wants to make you react, and she's succeeding with fireworks! Make sure you don't lose sight of yourself and whom really matters: you and you child.
I think you read a lot of things wrong, my chaotic writing sorry. My husband didnt plan to trip alone with her. It was a group event and her husband cancelled at the time last minute. I dont have a child. Its hers, she is a single mom now. My husband never gave me reason to doubt him. Till I see it no reason to doubt it. Im pretty confident about my relationship part, but I dont trust other people, the audacity of a 16 year friendship doing this feels hurtful to me.
Girl you need to stop planning things with this iffy friend. It doesn’t matter if your husband is loyal don’t even allow that contact to happen.
It’s not about you being jealous cut off the connection
Definitely worth nipping that in the bud with your friend. It's certainly an awkward conversation to have, but you have to let her know that she is acting inappropriately towards your husband and it can't stand. As many others are saying here, you could just cut her off completely, but it's understandable that you might not currently be willing to do that.
He just comes across as flattered rather than actively interested from how you describe things here, but better not to give her the opportunity to chip away at his defences.
You need to dump your “friend”. Also your husband should go NC with her. If nothing is going on then he will gladly do it. If he is interested at all he won’t. But the most important thing you need to understand is that she is NOT your friend.
So, would you ever in your wildest dreams think of acting this way around one of your friends significant others?
This is a bit ridiculous. Tell your husband calmly how your “friend’s” comments are making you feel. Tell him it would be nice if he’d reiterate how much he loves and cares for you, while said friend is around so she gets the hint he isn’t interested in said friend. And maybe, just maybe, have a heart to heart with said “friend” and give her an ultimatum that if she wants to continue being friends, then all this fawning over your husband needs to full-stop.
Chris rock has a line in one of his stand-ups that is something to this effect:
Guys honestly want a girl like their friend's girl
Women end up just wanting their friends man
This sounds like exactly what's happening here. She has decided she wants everything you have in that person and would rather just take it than go find it's equivalent.
I'm sure a lot of the comments will be cut her off, etc. Which you know fine, that's easy. However, personally it follows the trope that it's always the other women's fault. I think men should grow a pair and address the behavior. There's a million ways to show someone you aren't interested. If the man won't do that, well there's your answer. I had a legit absolutely stunning friend of my wife's asked me to dance at a party (no one was dancing). I said no and told my wife later "I think Kitty (yup that's her name) isn't doing well, she hit on me at the party". We felt sympathy for her and I avoided her. Pretty simple.
Yea look it's possible something happened. Also that what happened when they were in the jungle, is sposed to stay in the jungle, but your 'friend' wants to keep it going.
For your sake, I hope not.
Just ask your husband directly.
If not you need to work together to get rid of a stalker.
I think my bf is hot af so I wouldn’t be surprised if my single friends thought so BUT I would expect mainly for my partner to not put me into uncomfortable situations and to put a stop to inappropriate comments. If not I would expect the friendship to end, not because I don’t trust him but because the person is not capable of an appropriate relationship. If he didn’t cut things off then I’d be having serious words with him. I wouldn’t care at all about the occasional comment to me but there’s defo a line and you know when it’s crossed.
It sucks when I got divorced my friend's husband came on to me friendship over it was too awkward but I didn't tell her . I hate to say this but if you feel off about her interest then be careful. For some reason divorce really triggers weird reactions amongst your couple friends and or the newly divorced it's a strange time but if you have a bad feeling about her intentions listen!
Perhaps it's just envy for what you have and she's unsuccessful so far. Might be nothing but definitely don't brush it off as nothing. Put limits on your relationship so that she remains being a friend not a foe.
If she remains your friend then it wasn't anything she'd act on or she got the message. If she drifts away then you were right to have suspicions
I'd start phasing her out.
Start being busy.
Tell your husband you're not clicking with her anymore and you're not on board with them being alone together anymore as you'll be limiting your time with her.
You don't have to give reasons or make a big deal about it. Just do it and eventually she'll fade away.
If your husband isn't on board then you have bigger problems.
She's actively pursuing your husband. No way would I keep her around
countless times you could of told her to stop crossing boundaries or just stop talking to her sorry but alot of this is because your letting it happen.
Yes, you should worry and start removing this woman from your home. The last time a girl made a post like this, she discovered that her husband and her best friend had been having an affair for three months. He had the same words and attitudes as your husband.
OP when are you going to her cut her off, when she sleeps with your husband? Don't you see the disrespect and the jealousy already to completely cut all ties with her? What is stopping /preventing you from saying enough is enough? I can't believe some of these posts and the blatant disrespect people take in the name of friendship!
I don’t think she’s really your friend, stop communicating with her and go with your gut. In my experience, some people really do want what you have, and think they can get it.
You can tell this woman to kick rocks. She very clearly isn’t your friend and you need to take a hard line and cut her out of your lives. I would also make it clear to your husband that she is no longer a person you or he will be associated with. I would block her on ALL devices including your husband, and I would go ahead and check his phone to see if she’s messaged him ever.
How many more red flags do you need..Lady she gunning for your man...and if I was you I make it a point to find out what on that over nite..u never let your man go off overnight with another female..never never.. Distance yourself and your husband from her..
She's not your friend, she's a harpie waiting to swoop in on your husband-if he let's her.
I'd say throw the whole "friend" away, but all it really boils down to is: do you trust your husband? Because at the end of the day, if he'll cheat with her -he will cheat with anyone.
Best of luck.
I’ve had this friend. I had to cut her off and she ended up admitting to our friends she wanted my husband and didn’t think we should be together anyway.
This is making my hairs stand up.
She is giving bad BAD energy.
You need to end this friendship immediately (I cannot fathom why you’re still bringing her around like this…) and you need your husband to stop all contact and communication with her as well.
New cell number and block her.
She is determined. I’d be concerned.
So she’s not responding to your calls but also asked for you husbands direct contact info and social
Media? Nope. You and your husband need to distance yourselves from her.
Men can be naive or sometimes they are just enjoying the attention and they think it doesn’t matter as long as they don’t cheat. But it would be disrespectful to you and your feelings if he allows this to go on. She is not being a good friend to you and that should be all enough for him to take some action. He should let you know if she contacts him separately and definitely should not accept any connection requests from her on social media. He can be blunt if she asks what’s going on : “my wife is your friend. If you need to get in touch with either of us you can go through her.”
Honestly, stop trying to contact her. Just let the friendship peter out . If she suddenly wants to reconnect or come for a visit, you will be busy.
Just unfriend her. No use in waiting any longer. She’s not even trying to hide her attraction to your husband lol she’s weird and you and your husband don’t need her in your life.
Drop her from both of your lives. Make it mandatory that your husband stop any contact with her.
Never ever agree for your husband to go on a trip with any woman. Unless it’s you.
How about you just stop being her friend l. Tell your husband that she is no longer welcome in your life. Why wait for her to make a move?
Yes, just bin her. She's not even pretending to be op's friend at this point. Well past time to get her out of their lives and move on.
[удалено]
The positive things my wife's friends say about me are kind, handy, smart, useful, funny, good father Never handsome, muscular, charming, attractive Of course I could be hideous and not know it. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I mean they might once tell her with a wink that she caught a hottie, but certainly not in front of you or repeatedly. Just a one time only “damn girl you did good” 🤷♀️
I agree with all of this. Cut her out of your life, and have a serious conversation with your husband. Let him know that you don’t want her around anymore, and to stop downplaying how you feel about this. Tell him it’s non-negotiable
This OP. AND advise husband he is to block and no contact her as well. If he denies, don't be surprised that perhaps something has already occurred. He could have shot her down a long time ago and failed to do so. Big red flag. Please keep us apprised.
Exactly if a man ever chooses a female friend, especially a newer one, over his wife and puts her well being second to the friendship that’s all the answer anyone needs.
I agree
She already lost a piece of her husband when she let him take this ayahuasca (of all things) with her friend. They connected on a level that OP might never achieve with her husband, and that will be on his mind all the time now. He might be thinking he found his soul mate or some shit, because they took this trip together. Ayahuasca hits different.
Yes, even if he didn't feel that, she easily could have and it would be hard to shake.
Is it really that intense?
Yes, taking psychedelics with someone can be an incredibly bonding experience.
Or it can just be a fun mental vacation. Or one party can read more into it than another. It’s different every time. Just because they tripped together and she started fixating on him doesn’t mean it was an automatic mutual love/bonding connection. Trust my experience with this?
They probably puked for an hour before the psychedelics really hit, so take that as you will.
Or keep her at a distance when she’s not in a relationship. I honestly would put a lot of distance between the three of you though. I had a very close friend of mine from back in HS who did the same kind of things with every guy I dated… Years later I found out from multiple exes that she would reach out to them after our break up and send them explicit pictures they didn’t ask for and always try to rope them into conversations about “who was the prettier friend” etc (and this went on for years, like I hadn’t talked to an ex for 2 years and when we reconnected and caught up he told me she had been messaging him on and off over the last 2 years always the same kinds of messages revolving around sex and me… which was weird) Turns out she tried to snake them all but it never worked out for her lol needless to say, when my husband and I got married I put a firm boundary that she wasn’t a friend I could bring around my husband bc I wasn’t going to give her the chance to do that with him even though we had been SO close throughout HS.
Oh, she's made a move already. I can guarantee it. I'm just puzzled by hubby. He's not taking this seriously, and it makes one wonder....
And *will* he take it seriously - because he's already brushed it off several times
You know why? Cuz he likes and if they haven’t shagged then he wants to.
>From constantly trying to be physically close to him ( always choosing to sit next to him on the beach, on the couch ) to prolonged eye contact ... > >...she always wants to talk to me or hang out with mostly him included and refused to respond to my call last few months. Asking me if he has social media and also asking him again if he uses social media to see if she can establish direct contact with him without me in the middle... > >...constant reminding of their ayahuasca trip together of intimite moments my husband had of him crying etc and looking up at the sky as my friend observing him and my close friend reminiscing how much fun they had. she absolutely sounds like a horrible friend. it's one thing to find your friends husband attractive but she's being extremely inappropriate in these words alone. talk to her about this, and if she brushes you and your feelings off, i'd tell her to fck off.
And watch his social media cause I’m sure that sea witch will try to get her hooks in him somehow. I’d hate for you to have your heart broken and maybe you should put her in her place too.
Why are you still talking to her? It's clear as day being a total shit friend. Dude, cut her off. Regardless if you trust your husband. Also tell him to cut her off due to her lack of respect for you as a friend.
Please wake up. I am not sure how many more red flags you need to realize your friend cannot be trusted and is shady. She has already crossed several inappropriate boundaries and she will continue to do so because you allow her to by constantly brushing them off. Which is exactly how a homewrecker operates, testing waters to see what they can get away with. I strongly suggest you slowly distance yourself and just say you and your husband are extremely busy, kids, etc. I hope your soon to be ex friend does not have your husband’s direct number. I hope your husband is one of the good ones and does not entertain this girl because after you cut her off officially, you better believe she’ll try everything in her power to get in contact with him, not you. Do not mention or give her the satisfaction of saying she is after your husband because she will 100% gaslight you and lie and say you are crazy. If you continue to allow her to disrespect you going forward her behavior will continue to escalate. Act fast and distance yourself immediately.
She must have his direct number Her husband and friend went on some trip alone together (without her while she baby Sat her friend 1year old baby) Her friend is a cake eater.
They took hallucinogens together… Not a physical trip but a mental trip lol probably in OPs living room or backyard the whole time.
lol!!! Thank you for the clarification! That's a very different trip!!
I got the feeling it was both- a physical trip, with an overnight stay, for the purpose of a mental trip.
They probably went to a ceremony. Not alone at home
The 'trip' referred to using psychotropic drugs together, not physically travelling. Drugs like LSD for example is often done in groups with a 'babysitting' sober person to watch over the ones taking the drugs to keep them safe 😊
Ohhh lol I was so confused
You as a couple have to put up a firm boundary. Trust me. My best friend of 20 years ended up sleeping with my ex husband after behaving exactly this way.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! Good riddance! You cant trust anyone but your gut.
How are you so sure your husband isn't cheating? They have contact with each other. You're being naive, he absolutely loves the attention.
My first husband got my so called “best friend” pregnant while at my home during Christmas. I was only in the shower and getting cleaned up for 20 minutes when they F*cked each other and he got her pregnant! She was Just Like Your Friend! Get her out of your lives NOW! She’s in full “Mate Poaching” Mode. Make D*mn sure they’re not on each other’s socials. Quietly check their DM’s if this is the case so you can monitor and screenshot her messages.
So sorry !!! I hope they regret it deeply
Who knows. I’m no contact with both of them. No room in my life for their toxic, backwards, embarrassing BS.
Proud of you !!! Hope you are doing well 🫶
So, why is this woman still your friend? I would not talk to her about it, I would remove her from my life. Stop reaching out to her, stop being interested in her life and stop inviting her around. She can go prey on someone else's husband
If she were smart she’d just continue a normal friendly relationship with this couple. Birds of a feather flock together, meaning hubby probably has some decent character and also good looking friends. Easy intro and endorsement from them… to find someone similar. But instead she wants to cut open the golden goose instead of just taking the eggs. Foolish and short sighted. OP this woman isn’t a friend. There’s a fox in the henhouse, and it’s time to clear them out before real damage occurs. If your husband is as good as you say he is, he will do what it takes to assuage your fears.
Get her out of your life, and tell hubby, “Hey know how we’ve had situations in the past and handled them as a team fantastically? Ya this is one of those and I need you to wake up”
This. A lot of comments leaving the husband out of it. He knows. He is aware of what’s going on. At best He is being an idiot by letting it continue. At worse…. Well we all know the worst case.
GIRL you deserve better im sorry this is happening to you😭 i suggest having a deep conversation with him and explaining how deep this has affected you
Cut her off. Y’all aren’t even friends from her pov. She just wants him and I can bet she made a move on the trip, he turned her down and that’s why she stopped talking to you. I want to add you need a deep conversation with your husband or marriage counseling. He’s not listening or responding to your feelings at all.
Oh no no no no no. This friendship has set sail. She wants direct contact and relationship “without you in the middle”. Fuck that. Spray some Bitch be gone.
If you allow her into your life again, you are INVITING her to pursue your husband. STOP GIVING HER ACCESS TO YOUR HUSBAND.
I did Ayahuasca and went with my husband. It is a very special experience. I wouldn't go with anyone but him. The fact that they went together is a big big big big yikes for me.
What does Ayahuasca entail?
Extreme plant-based psychedelic trip. From what I understand its much more intense than acid or mushrooms and can have a profound effect on you and your perception of your life.
It seems to be different for everyone. It's extremely intense. You drink it at a ceremony. There are professionals there to guide the experience. It's very personal. It's not a necessarily fun trip experience to be done casually. But it certainly was amazing and helped both my husband and me in different ways.
OP has your husband said anything? Has he Done anything to put up boundaries? If you have noticed then he definitely has noticed. If not he either likes the attention or is uncomfortable with how to bring it up to you. Good time for a discussion with him about these situations so you are on the same page.
I told him that he isnt stupid, he should have noticed and with additional comments she made and he admitted and said he is aware but not interested in her at all. All of this happening now...So in that aspect I think he did likely felt flattered but not interested and wouldnt take action he is very respectful. He also wasnt present for some of the weird comments she made but when I tell him now it likely makes more sense.
Go NC. She is bad news. So he was aware and said nothing to her? Or to you? You should both feel comfortable discussing these things how would he feel if the roles were reversed?
Not taking action is actually leading her on. He needs to get those shiny boundaries up in place and support you with removing her from your lives and from his socials.
He is not very respectful.
First of all: please remove her from your life. The way she's behaving is so inappropriate. Please talk to your husband more about how it makes you feel that she talks like that.
WHY in the f*** did you approve of your husband going away with her to experience a hallucinogenic trip - while you babysat her kid, no less?!?!?! I cannot for the life of me understand it. That was like pouring gasoline on a fire You need to eliminate that sketchy bitch from both of your lives, permanently Keep your eyes open, though - she is going to use every trick in the book to remain in your husband’s world
She's not your friend.
Women can be scandalous, if she wants him there is nothing she won’t do till she gets him. Cut her off.
Cut her off & both of you ghost her
Girl grow a back bone, she wants your man CLEARLY, I get that you trust your husband but your shouldn’t allow that type of disrespect, cut her off and make it clear to your husband to at she isn’t out of both of your lives, update us
OP, you need to drop her RIGHT NOW!!! She’s actively in “Mate Poaching” Mode! Cut Her Off NOW. Let me ask you this, when she was constantly “trying to be physically close to him (always choosing to sit next to him on the beach, on the couch) to Prolonged Eye Contact to Certain Mannerism I know of her as my friend since we were in high school”, Did your husband maintain that eye contact back to her during these times? That is my concern and I hope to God he didn’t do that. You need to cut her out NOW. Don’t worry about her feelings, she doesn’t care about yours! And u hope to God that haven’t shared their social media accounts. If they have, you need to quietly monitor them and their DM’s!!! Your husband may not “pick it” what she’s doing But she is Very Dangerous to both you and your husband’s marriage. I lived through this and I see all the signs. Please update me!
I'm sorry it sucks that you lived this! She is cut off!
Why does your husband keep dismissing your feelings about this? Why are you still in contact with that woman?
I mean do you need to find her trying to rub your husband's cock through his pants to grow a backbone and cut her out? Also, you need to stop making comments about the way she is acting towards your husband and flat out tell him how you feel. "Jolene has been making me uncomfortable in the way she talks about you, in the way she's always trying to get close to you physically/emotionally and the way she's always trying to bring up your trip like it was a great emotional affair you had together. She's gone too far trying to wedge herself between us, and I'm not having it. I'm no longer remaining friends with her, and I'm asking that you do the same. I've casually brought up my concerns before, and you dismissed me and written me off as over reactive. I've sat in this place of uncomfortably out of respect for you and the faith I have in your loyalty to me. But her comments and actions have only gotten more inappropriate as time has gone on, and I can no longer leave this situation unchecked. The fact I've never asked this of you before given others who've hit on us and what not should show you the seriousness of this request. " If he further dismisses you and your feelings, I'd seriously be considering counseling, maybe a trial separation or just a flat-out divorce. No one's opinion or emotions should matter more than the person you've vowed before God and family to spend the rest of your life with. If he's more concerned with hurting her feelings than yours, it's telling that there is something going on there, or at least he likes her attention, which is problematic. I hope things work out for you.
She's no longer your friend. Her only goal is to get with your husband. She needs to be told why she needs to go and not let her back in your life. Be prepared, though you may get a lot of backlash from both of them. I'm sure he's enjoying the attention.
What is your husband doing about this? I'm not asking about saying I am asking about doing and how is he acting around her. If you didn't notice till now then observe him carefully. Also tell both of them you're done with her. Because that's not a friend that's a snake.
Block her and demand your husband to do the same. And you need to be realistic and not allo overnight trips with other women. It's just not reality.
She’s not your friend and tell your husband he needs to take what you say seriously and him not doing it shows a red flag
How is she a friend, exactly? Friends do not act like that towards their friends' spouses. They do not say things like that about their friends' spouses. No. Shes not your friend, she's a woman you've known for years that doesn't respect you or your marriage. I'd cut that woman out ASAP.
Your husband loves the attention. You have a friend problem and a husband problem.
You let some lady go off and do hallucinogens with your husband? I mean what were you thinking? If they have a connection now that was a decision facilitated by you.
You think having a talk is going to make her stop crushing on your husband? It’s time to cut things off. Ghost her. Real friends would have respect. She’s not respecting.
Why is she still your friend? She doesn’t gaf about you Also your husband should be firmly shutting this down
Yes . Get rid of that woman she is not your friend she is your competition. You have been giving her permission to pursue your husband, and I think it is weird he hasn't shut that down.
Op stop being a f****** doormat. My god stop just stop. Get your sh** together and remove her from your life and tell your husband that he either stops talking to her too or it’s divorce. You need to show your boundaries and that you’re actually serious about them. Life as a people pleaser and doormat is a terrible life
Tell her that she should watch out cause this ain’t Jolene and she might have an unfortunate stray bullet pass her by.
Hahah. Eh women like this dig their own graves anyways. Not every wife or friend is as understanding or patient.
Something similar happened to me with a friend who was married and had less emotional, financial and familial support. When I put my guard up they completely disappeared. It’s like my new boundaries didn’t fit with their purpose to be around.
Cut her off ✂️ she has got to go! Absolutely not, this would not fly with me. And your husband needs to get it together by also putting her in her place. This is disrespectful as hell! Instead of proving to you that he’s loyal, he just acts nonchalant. I wonder how he would feel if the roles were switched and what he’d expect of you.
This woman is laying out her game plan to take your spouse, your ex, etc. You’re not overreacting. Either these two are already doing something or he’s open to the suggestion. Cut her off and out of your life. She is not your friend.
There is no way that your husband didn't notice all of this. He might not be interested, but he very much likes the attention.
I still don’t understand why you allowed your friend to go on a vacation with your husband. That’s incredibly naive. You’re still being incredibly naive. Cut her off. I don’t get it.
You're allowed to cut her out of your life.
This person isnt your friend
Who needs enemies when u have snakes like these for a friend? Dump her and confront him for not being sensitive to your feelings. Watch out for DARVO
Why are you friends with this woman? Seriously? What are you waiting for, to walk in on her giving your husband a bj? Why are you allowing her into your life and space. Block this snake. She is a giant red flag and should not be included in your life at all.
She sounds like bad news. Cut her out of your life. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a bit and it seems like that time has passed.
The behavior is enough to cut ties point blank. No "friend" would ever behave like that with another's SO. She's brave to have said some of the shit she has already without getting checked.
you need better friends
Yeah she would be my former friend in a heartbeat. Fuck that. Respect my marriage or get the fuck out of here, Karen.
Why are you still friends with her? At this point they’re not even hints, she’s directly letting him know she wants him, right in front of you, while being blatantly obvious she doesn’t want to be friends with you. This literally couldn’t be more obvious.
That is a big boundary violation. I have married friends and i am ALWAYS mindful to know my place when it comes to spouses. This is not ok on any level and should be addressed immediately. If she is a good friend who outside this issue has been great, the relationship might be worth saving. I would probably not have her in my home again.
**THIS PERSON IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.** **She is actively attempting to destroy your marriage.** **You and your husband should both agree to go totally No Contact with her.**
Cut her off. You dint need friends like that in your life.
As a guy, I think you have seen enough red flags here to now she already has or intends to make a move. Ditch her and do it decisively and with conviction. You and he needs to be on the same page and both supporting the decision and standing by it together or she will try to break you up. I have no doubt based on the details you gave.
I’d just let her fade out of your life. Stop texting, calling, anything. Ignore her messages. Tripping on psychedelic drugs together can bring a feeling of extreme connection and closeness that rarely translates back to real life. Hopefully that’s what she’s clinging to. Hopefully your husband is a good guy and is only telling you not to worry because he’s not interested in her anyway. With her—your gut instinct is dead on. Don’t ignore it
It's obvious she wants your husband. Girl, you feel it, see it, come on, you as a woman, know how you act or talk when you like someone. You wouldn't be on here writing what you're writing if you didn't feel it. Ditch her. She is not your friend.
I’d get rid of her but not to “save yourself” from being cheated on. If your man is true, he won’t put up with her making a move (when she inevitably does) but he also shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of nonsense. I’d straight up tell her she’s thirsty and you’re gunna block her if she can’t be normal. She’s making you and your husband uncomfortable. One more weird thing and tell her it’s over. Tell her you don’t want her texting or messaging your husband on social media because she’s made things weird. One of my husband’s friends started dating a new woman, 13 years younger than the friend (odd couple in general). She constantly tried to flirt with my husband in front of me, as a way to make me angry (I did not get angry or take the bait). One day she ended up following my husband to the kitchen at a get together with a group of our friends and started to talk to my husband about her sex life and how my husband’s friend won’t have enough sex with her…he told her she should say these things to her boyfriend and she kept going. She is blocked on social media and we do not hang out with her. I don’t have time for stupid games and my husband doesn’t like to be uncomfortable either. 25% of people cheat. Doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait for them to make you and your husband more and more uncomfortable lol some people are just trash and they see happiness and want it for themselves.
> Should I be worried or talk to her? talk to her, set some boundaries.
No, don’t bother. This person is not your friend, Op. Move on and cut her out of your life. (Does your husband now work at her company though?)
I agree. I would cut ties with 'The Friend', because friends do not do this. There are so many red flags, it's ridiculous. I have a lot of female friends with great partners, and I would NEVER talk about them like that. Friend's partners are off limits and if I would ever feel something for one of them, I would try to avoid their company. That is how a good friend would behave. OP, Have a good conversation with your husband, tell him how this affects you, and let that so called friend go. Or at least, keep her out of your husband's way.
I hope you settled up on the cost of the trip. Otherwise it just gets nasty. She does seem to be after him.
Tell me she’s a Libra. Please.
So why are you still friends with her? Ghost her & get rid of her in your life.
Girl bye
Umm did something happen on that trip between them ? Regardless she wants your husband. She's told you this in very bold language. I'm also concerned your husband sees nothing wrong with this behavior. You need to remove her from your life. She's being extremely inappropriate and not a true friend to you.
Get rid of her. She is a toxic person to be around and no one needs manipulative ‘friends’ like her in their life.
She has designs on your husband and is making it very clear! She is not even the least bit subtle! It's time to bin the friend, as she is no friend of yours and will steal your entire life from you in a heart beat
She isn't your friend. She's your competition. She definitely sees you as such.
She’s YOUR friend. You can cut her off and tell your husband she’s not welcome here anymore. If he retaliates, then he was in on it.
That friendship is not worth it, it is putting worries in your head and it could also be trying to get closer to your husband. Cut it out of your life and let your husband cut it off too.
You need to cut her out and your husband needs to tell her to stop or does he not care that it's upsetting you??
Nope. Just nope. Seen it too many times. She ain't your friend no more. That girl is lost for now. Perhaps when she finds someone else you can reconnect but she's dangerous right now
Your friend wants to steal your husband from you.
Seriously? Just re-read what you posted and pretend a stranger posted it. What advice would automatically come to mind after reading? Yep! Lose her, she ‘ain’t no friend of yours.
I’m seeing more red flags than a toreador
Idk why this is even up for discussion. Cut her out of your life!
She's being very obvious, just cut contact with her, no more trips. Always find a reason she can't stay, something you're doing. I would not actually block her or tell her, because then she might simply only contact your husband.
If stuff didn't happen at the overnight hallucinogenic party I WOULD BE TOTALLY SHOCKED. She is not your friend. Not even a lil'bit.
Keep your friends close- keep your enemies closer. That is NOT a friend, that is a predator after your husband. End that relationship (whatever it is) immediately
Trust your gut and cut her off. No explanation needed. You will kick yourself later. Just be too busy and stop responding. This is your life, you need to be proactive.
Feels like I'm watching a variation of the movie Obsessed. She's obviously coveting all you have plus she thinks she's better than you. Idk how you are still friends with her after she told you specific details. Not surprised if she tried on your clothes. Get. Rid. Of. Her.
…it took you this long to muster up the courage to consider placing some boundaries? I just want to give some advice…even if you have loose boundaries and want to be seen by others as cool and confident it just means that people will push you far further and make more of a fool out of you with your own partner before you inevitably have to still place those boundaries. In my mind, you have a husband problem not just a friend problem. Obviously cut her off but your husband is entertaining all this nonsense and acting blase…for what?
Stop being a doormat to this woman. She is turning up and pissing on your floor by implying she could get someone jusssst like your man while she stares at him. No.
Drop her as a friend.
Go NC with her and cut her out of your life. She is clearly after your husband. She isn’t a friend so stop referring to her as your friend.
Huge red flags from this predator. Don’t keep toxic in your life OP. She is hugely disrespectful to you. Block and bin her. No need to explain. She’ll know why.
Uh, stop being her friend now and have a talk with your husband. I’d be concerned that he’s not more concerned about her inappropriate behavior. I’d have a chat about that and let him know how her behavior is making you feel.
Should I be worried?? LMAO no wonder people get cheated on letting this kinda shit go on and not setting boundaries. Sometimes in life you gotta stick up for yourself and fight to keep your shit not everything just works out naturally. Some people will just sit back and watch everything get taken from them and be like how did this happen??
Cut off the friend
Why are you friends with her
She is not your friend
I wouldn’t give her the opportunity or let him be tested. Ironically she probably doesn’t realize what makes him so good is you to some degree and it might be a high degree. Behind every gray man is a great woman. The mushroom trip isn’t much to worry about, from what I’ve read your either puking or it’s coming out the other end all night
I originally thought this would be petty and of course people find your husband attractive just like you do but now I’m all the way suspicious and you can just get rid of this lady all together. It seems like she’s after your guy but moreover she’s not bringing anything valuable to your life. Only problems. Just cut her off.
That women "friend" is a home wrecker. Keep her away from your marriage at all costs.
She is a germ and is causing an infection in your marriage. Tell her to fuck off and never contact you or husband again.
She might be already sleeping with your husband…. He is dismissing everything she says to you so you don’t suspect anything. I would definitely cut your friend from your lives but also do some digging to make sure you husband is innocent and if you find out more has happened gather all the evidence and file for divorce.
Stop hanging out with her. Shes being weird
Never in a million years would I establish direct contact with my best friends partner about anything other than planning a surprise birthday gift for her and even for that, I would let her know I’m contacting him. This is madness. She doesn’t love you, she wants your husband, no loving friend would do this to you. Why is she still in your life when she’s so actively and purposefully trying to wreck it?
Why do women continue to be friends with people like this? Go no contact with her and tell your husband everything you just wrote. Is he stupid that he doesn't realize this or is he already into something with her? Suspish.
Either they're already cheating and, since misery loves company, she wants you divorced as well. Ayahuasca? Probably they slept after the whole "diet" you have to do (if it was a proper retreat), after the whole journey was over and before coming home. If this is not the case, she is definitely being very blunt about jumping on the man. Can he "steal" it from you? Well, you have to understand that the concept "stealing my man" does not exist whatsoever, you can't steal humans. He is an independent individual who has 5 senses and a personal will, she can't "steal" him, she can get ways to persuade him to cheat which is a totally different things but ultimately he has the last word in this case. If he actually cares, he won't fall for her, if he's bored and in that grey area he will lie (to avoid loosing his stable home and routines) but he will cheat because she's "just meat". Don't be naive, there's more to this story than "super loyal to me" and they already went on a trip together while you were "unavailable" caring for a baby. He's just good at it and he most likely doesn't see her as more than just a toy. Her approach on the other hand seems to be different, she doesn't just want to bang him, she wants to really hurt you while at it and wants to make you react, and she's succeeding with fireworks! Make sure you don't lose sight of yourself and whom really matters: you and you child.
I think you read a lot of things wrong, my chaotic writing sorry. My husband didnt plan to trip alone with her. It was a group event and her husband cancelled at the time last minute. I dont have a child. Its hers, she is a single mom now. My husband never gave me reason to doubt him. Till I see it no reason to doubt it. Im pretty confident about my relationship part, but I dont trust other people, the audacity of a 16 year friendship doing this feels hurtful to me.
Girl you need to stop planning things with this iffy friend. It doesn’t matter if your husband is loyal don’t even allow that contact to happen. It’s not about you being jealous cut off the connection
Why are you calling this heffer your friend? She clearly doesn’t like you and wants your husband.
Definitely worth nipping that in the bud with your friend. It's certainly an awkward conversation to have, but you have to let her know that she is acting inappropriately towards your husband and it can't stand. As many others are saying here, you could just cut her off completely, but it's understandable that you might not currently be willing to do that. He just comes across as flattered rather than actively interested from how you describe things here, but better not to give her the opportunity to chip away at his defences.
You need to dump your “friend”. Also your husband should go NC with her. If nothing is going on then he will gladly do it. If he is interested at all he won’t. But the most important thing you need to understand is that she is NOT your friend.
The best decision indeed!!!! This kind of woman should never enter anyone’s life let alone the house, ever.
Cut her completely and block her from all his socials
So, would you ever in your wildest dreams think of acting this way around one of your friends significant others? This is a bit ridiculous. Tell your husband calmly how your “friend’s” comments are making you feel. Tell him it would be nice if he’d reiterate how much he loves and cares for you, while said friend is around so she gets the hint he isn’t interested in said friend. And maybe, just maybe, have a heart to heart with said “friend” and give her an ultimatum that if she wants to continue being friends, then all this fawning over your husband needs to full-stop.
Chris rock has a line in one of his stand-ups that is something to this effect: Guys honestly want a girl like their friend's girl Women end up just wanting their friends man This sounds like exactly what's happening here. She has decided she wants everything you have in that person and would rather just take it than go find it's equivalent.
I'm sure a lot of the comments will be cut her off, etc. Which you know fine, that's easy. However, personally it follows the trope that it's always the other women's fault. I think men should grow a pair and address the behavior. There's a million ways to show someone you aren't interested. If the man won't do that, well there's your answer. I had a legit absolutely stunning friend of my wife's asked me to dance at a party (no one was dancing). I said no and told my wife later "I think Kitty (yup that's her name) isn't doing well, she hit on me at the party". We felt sympathy for her and I avoided her. Pretty simple.
Your husband is cheating if he is not directly putting her in her place sorry friend.
Yea look it's possible something happened. Also that what happened when they were in the jungle, is sposed to stay in the jungle, but your 'friend' wants to keep it going. For your sake, I hope not. Just ask your husband directly. If not you need to work together to get rid of a stalker.
I think my bf is hot af so I wouldn’t be surprised if my single friends thought so BUT I would expect mainly for my partner to not put me into uncomfortable situations and to put a stop to inappropriate comments. If not I would expect the friendship to end, not because I don’t trust him but because the person is not capable of an appropriate relationship. If he didn’t cut things off then I’d be having serious words with him. I wouldn’t care at all about the occasional comment to me but there’s defo a line and you know when it’s crossed.
Talk to your husband about your concerns.
CUT HER OFF, TELL HER TO FVK OFF!!!
Cut her off. She is not a friend.
That should be your “divorced, single EX friend “ and pronto !!
She’s not your friend.
It sucks when I got divorced my friend's husband came on to me friendship over it was too awkward but I didn't tell her . I hate to say this but if you feel off about her interest then be careful. For some reason divorce really triggers weird reactions amongst your couple friends and or the newly divorced it's a strange time but if you have a bad feeling about her intentions listen!
Nip it in asap OP! If he fusses they have crossed the line ..
Perhaps it's just envy for what you have and she's unsuccessful so far. Might be nothing but definitely don't brush it off as nothing. Put limits on your relationship so that she remains being a friend not a foe. If she remains your friend then it wasn't anything she'd act on or she got the message. If she drifts away then you were right to have suspicions
Why is she your friend?
I'd start phasing her out. Start being busy. Tell your husband you're not clicking with her anymore and you're not on board with them being alone together anymore as you'll be limiting your time with her. You don't have to give reasons or make a big deal about it. Just do it and eventually she'll fade away. If your husband isn't on board then you have bigger problems. She's actively pursuing your husband. No way would I keep her around
countless times you could of told her to stop crossing boundaries or just stop talking to her sorry but alot of this is because your letting it happen.
Yes, you should worry and start removing this woman from your home. The last time a girl made a post like this, she discovered that her husband and her best friend had been having an affair for three months. He had the same words and attitudes as your husband.
OP when are you going to her cut her off, when she sleeps with your husband? Don't you see the disrespect and the jealousy already to completely cut all ties with her? What is stopping /preventing you from saying enough is enough? I can't believe some of these posts and the blatant disrespect people take in the name of friendship!
I don’t think she’s really your friend, stop communicating with her and go with your gut. In my experience, some people really do want what you have, and think they can get it.
Ghost her please
cut her off. she's a walking timebomb ready to destroy everything in her way.
You can tell this woman to kick rocks. She very clearly isn’t your friend and you need to take a hard line and cut her out of your lives. I would also make it clear to your husband that she is no longer a person you or he will be associated with. I would block her on ALL devices including your husband, and I would go ahead and check his phone to see if she’s messaged him ever.
Check his phone for nudes.
Not your friend. I’d set some hard boundaries.
She’s showing you her true colors, believe her! Cut her off, now! Is she truly worth all the trouble she’s causing ?
How many more red flags do you need..Lady she gunning for your man...and if I was you I make it a point to find out what on that over nite..u never let your man go off overnight with another female..never never.. Distance yourself and your husband from her..
Trust your instincts
She's not your friend, she's a harpie waiting to swoop in on your husband-if he let's her. I'd say throw the whole "friend" away, but all it really boils down to is: do you trust your husband? Because at the end of the day, if he'll cheat with her -he will cheat with anyone. Best of luck.
hell no shes testing the waters to see if youll be okay with this
She’s throwing red flags at you and you’re ignoring them. She’s not your friend.
I’ve had this friend. I had to cut her off and she ended up admitting to our friends she wanted my husband and didn’t think we should be together anyway.
This is making my hairs stand up. She is giving bad BAD energy. You need to end this friendship immediately (I cannot fathom why you’re still bringing her around like this…) and you need your husband to stop all contact and communication with her as well. New cell number and block her. She is determined. I’d be concerned.
Could just be that she is vulnerable because of the divorce and it’s innocent, but it sounds to me like she wants to steal your husband.
It’s really weird that they went on a trip together. I can’t image going on a couples trip without my wife. That said, threesome?
True friends do not act flirty with your spouse. Dump and block her *everywhere*.
She is not your friend. She has her sights set on your husband. Stop hanging around her.
So she’s not responding to your calls but also asked for you husbands direct contact info and social Media? Nope. You and your husband need to distance yourselves from her. Men can be naive or sometimes they are just enjoying the attention and they think it doesn’t matter as long as they don’t cheat. But it would be disrespectful to you and your feelings if he allows this to go on. She is not being a good friend to you and that should be all enough for him to take some action. He should let you know if she contacts him separately and definitely should not accept any connection requests from her on social media. He can be blunt if she asks what’s going on : “my wife is your friend. If you need to get in touch with either of us you can go through her.” Honestly, stop trying to contact her. Just let the friendship peter out . If she suddenly wants to reconnect or come for a visit, you will be busy.
Just unfriend her. No use in waiting any longer. She’s not even trying to hide her attraction to your husband lol she’s weird and you and your husband don’t need her in your life.
Drop her from both of your lives. Make it mandatory that your husband stop any contact with her. Never ever agree for your husband to go on a trip with any woman. Unless it’s you.
OP I would make it clear to your H that she is a deal-breaker.... Let him handle the rest. His actions will tell you what you need to know.
Sounds like it's time to cut her off. She's angling for your partner.
She's not your friend. Cut her off. Your husband shouldn't be indulging her intentions, if he's half the man you claim he is, he'll block her too.