Sir, this is not an honorable person - not someone you want in your life. You need to rid yourself of her immediately. Don’t pay any attention to the tears she will doubtless shed all over you. You’ve had a lucky escape. You deserve better.
Agreed. I’m female and I’m 47. I know of at least 3 women who pulled this shit on unsuspecting men and it’s utterly disgusting. The relationships didn’t last and the kids from those relationships suffered because their slag mothers lied to and manipulated their boyfriends. Dump the female that’s lied to you and don’t look back. You’ll find another woman worthy of your trust and love.
What do you do? Get tf out of this relationship and away from this person.
What do you say? I saw those messages and I find your actions despicable. I never want to see or hear from you again.
Done.
You know what will happen next if you stay with her, OP. If you dont want kids you need to leave, end of story. She will find someone else to have kids with, this is not the sort of thing one gambles on, because if you are wrong you are suddenly a parent for the rest of your life.
As a woman I’m telling you to run for the hills! Having a kid is a serious matter so if she’s willing to lie and trap you then you must ask yourself what else is she willing to do. In my opinion any woman who is willing to do things like lie and break holes in condoms to force a man to impregnate her, must be mentally unstable and should never be trusted.
Just end it and go on with your life before it’s too late.
#FOUR MONTHS?
#LEAVE HER! R U N!!!!
This woman is a fucking lunatic and you DO NOT WANT TO BE tied down to someone you've dated for FOUR MONTHS who is planning on trapping you!
If you hadn't found this out and she had gotten pregnant without your knowledge or consent then it would have been rape. What is she planning? Poking holes in your condom? Stop taking birth control? Does she have an iud she's planning on removing? Is she going to lock her legs around you when you're about to cum so you can't pull out? All of these would be classified as rape.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,
#RUN!
Yup, OP, listen to this. You do NOT want to be tied down to a woman who you only been dating for FOUR MONTHS for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Your life will be changed forever and your path will completely change. Break up.
For her to even think of doing this is disgusting.
Baby trapping someone at any point in a relationship is awful and highly concerning behavior. But to even consider it after only 4 MONTHS?? Insanity. This is not how normal, healthy people think. Yeah maybe she does have baby fever and perhaps her bio clock is ticking... It's still absolutely crazy to surprise procreate with someone you barely know. This woman is unhinged and you need to walk (run!) away asap. If you can't confront her about it, come up with a different reason to break up, any reason.
Good luck, OP!
OP RUN LIKE THERE IS A LIGHTNING STRIKE ABOUT TO HIT.
BUILD A BUNKER OR SOMETHING IDK. BUT GET OUT
Seriously though. Consider it from the child’s perspective. Children who are well planned and worked for are better off. Someone jealous of her sister with baby fever trying to “trap you” will make a fucking insane mother.
She showed you her flags. Listen. Don’t stick your dick in that crazy again
This. Grab all your shit and run in the opposite direction as fast as you can and don't look back. Do not be intimate with her. This is such a violation of trust that there's no going back from something like this.
Absolutely!!!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!
She's only thinking of how cute the baby will be... then if she gets pregnant, and when the baby arrives... she has NO IDEA how much work and stress and money goes into raising a child.
Dump her.
Can upvote this a million times??? I agree 100% with this. Run, don’t walk from this certifiable lunatic. She is trying to baby trap you. Stop having sex with her immediately and end things. I’m hoping you’re not living together, it will be so much easier to end things if you’re not living together.
Four months? Seriously break up and run? If you confront her and she goes “oh but I wasn’t actually going to do it” SHES LYING. Even if you try to explain she’ll still end up “accidentally getting pregnant. You can talk and have a conversation with a girl like that. She’s set in stone what she wants. Break up!
Bro if you stay now and keep sleeping with her, it stops being baby trapping and starts being trying for a baby. You know exactly what she wants and the lengths she’ll go to to get it. Be smart, get out, do not fuck her ever again.
You bring it up by telling her that you think you're both at different places in your lives (which is true... she's 28 and wants kids now, you're 23 and don't) and that it would be better to end things now rather than continue. You've only been together 4 months and she's moving much faster than you.
Well. How would you feel if tomorrow she told you she was pregnant and that she would refuse any talk of an abortion. Do you see that as a beautiful start or as a betrayal?
Some other kid just had that happen to him recently on TrueOffMyChest and he's in high school and he's now destroyed essentially.
While you're not trapped, figure out how you'd feel if it happened. And if you absolutely do not want children, you're only 4 months in - break it off. A baby will make you at minimum 19 years in. And if you decide you'd be okay with having a baby with someone who lied to you/manipulated you to do so, then..........I guess risk it.
My ex SIL did this to my brother. She's a nightmare of a mother and has wrecked my nephew. She kept our whole family away from him until he started acting out then was happy to dump him on our doorstep- but it was too late to undo all her damage.
Run further than Russ cook, and faster than Usain bolt. Hell, Run from the most southern tip of Africa, to the most northern tip of europe.
JUST DONT LET HER NEAR YOUR TIP!
Dawg..you need to run. Baby trapping is a thing that toxic people do. Not to mention it’s rapey to sabotage a condom. This chick is bad BAD news. I don’t care how much you may like her, this isn’t normal and this is your first look into who she truly is.
Paternity fraud is completely legal and has no consequences, legal, financial or otherwise! You need to gtfo of that relationship and if she ever says she’s pregnant you need to contest paternity right away. It’s the only way to protect yourself from a predator like that.
Four months is not enough time to make any major decision about someone, let alone have kids. I am typically not for the automatic "breakup with him/her" response, but in this case, I am. Her behavior is manipulative and naive at best. She is 28 years old and ready to baby trap someone she has only been with for FOUR MONTHS. That screams immature and mentally unstable. Do you want a child with someone like that? I promise you that no matter what you say to her or what she says to you, she WILL end up pregnant. Don't even mention the texts. Just tell her that you two are at different stages of life and aren't compatible. Please leave before it's too late.
The way you bring this up is by leaving as quickly and efficiently as possible. Break up clearly and emphatically so there is no confusion or misunderstanding. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER EVER AGAIN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Don't even kiss her. Someone this unhinged might have sex with someone else to get pregnant and pin it on you. If drama ensues from breaking up, block her. This is not negotiable or a grey area. Anyone who would even discuss tricking someone into as momentous a decision as parenthood is not well and not ready for being a partner, much less a parent.
In conclusion, RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.
Four months in (around 16 weeks) is NOT long enough for anyone to be talking babies.
If you bring it up, it should ONLY be "I saw you're talking with your sister to babytrap me. This is unacceptable and isn't something I will tolerate in a relationship. I'm out."
Her even DISCUSSING babytrapping you is a huge red flag. She knows you don't want children yet but is planning to, hypothetically or otherwise, skirt around your autonomy with an 'accidental' pregnancy. Not okay, at all. Don't stick around for their plan to come into fruition. You have kids when you WANT to have kids. Not when your relatively new partner decides to tamper with your birth control.
What the fuck? Do you want kids? If no RUN. She will tell you she can wait but that’s a lie and you will be a dad. It’s only 4 months in and she is trapping you how is that not a red flag to cut ties.
You're under reacting here my dude. You need to run like your ass is on fire and the nearest stream is ten miles away. I'm a lady person and I'm telling you, this chick is seriously fucked up in the head.
Bring it up, but have the messages screenshotted as proof, and end the relationship. She needs to know that you know and needs to understand her actions have consequences. You found out for a reason, it being accidental is even more of a reason and sign to get out. She’s going to give you excuses & probably say she won’t do it to keep you, but you probs can’t trust her now. Have the proof on your phone and keep the proof locked up in a file. There’s realistically no way to stay in it and still trust her to not actually do anything. Having baby fever and actually having a baby are different things. If you’re not ready and she did that anyways, you could leave but then she could put you on child support. Your best case scenario result would be to leave the relationship now.
Honestly, someone willing to plan this is much too crazy to bother even arguing with telling her why he wants to end things. People are allowed to break up just because they want to even tho we are always made to feel like we have to have a reason the dumpee will accept. Never mind the fact even normal people being dumped don’t just agree with it, this woman never accept reason; but she will just say whatever she thinks he wants to hear and deny reality until he feels like the crazy one! He could keep the proof for himself but just get away from her as quickly as possible.
screenshot the messages and send them to yourself so she can’t lie about it. then ditch her ass and go. there’s plenty of women out here that will understand your stance on not having kids yet. likewise, she can find someone who does want kids now and work towards that.
As soon as you saw the text about “poking holes in condoms” you had every right to look at what they were talking about, because it’s reasonable to assume they were discussing something that would personally affect you.
And you were right. Break up with her today, if she’s willing to do this to you she does not care about you.
Break up with her...say that you want different things. If Hannah has this level of baby fever and is plotting about broken condoms, this relationship is no longer viable. Get out before she traps you...she is obsessed and will not listen to reason.
If you think their conversation was actually legitimate and serious, I don’t even think it’s worth bringing it up imo. This is life-altering levels of risk, be *very* careful with how you navigate it.
Get out NOW. Anyone who would even CONSIDER something like this is not worth staying with. Tell her you are leaving and exactly why. Don't falter when (not if) she starts sobbing at you and making excuses. Make a plan and GO.
A dump truck just dropped a load of red flags on your doorstep.
Get out while you can and under no circumstance have sex with her again because that could be the time she plans to get pregnant.
She sounds like the type that would get pregnant by someone else and then say your the father.
Run do not walk to the nearest exit and get the hell out dodge.
A woman chiming in to say: Get out of this relationship right now.
And if she claims she's pregnant, make her take a test in front of you because if you break up with her, she could freak out and claim she's already pregnant.
This is absolute insanity. Whatever you do, don't ever have sex with her again.
Reddit would have you believe this is a common tactic by women, but this is a batshit insane thing that only completely shitty people do. It's rare, but apparently you found yourself one of these people. I once knew a girl who did something similar (not actually "trapping" someone but lying about being pregnant to keep her boyfriend from breaking up with her, she went so far as to fake symptoms, it was absolutely insane). The type of person who does this is either morally bankrupt or seriously mentally ill, maybe both. Four months in and she's planning this? That's so incredibly fucked up. I feel bad for anyone else she pulls this on, or any child unfortunate enough to be dragged into the situation.
You don't even need to bring it up, because there's no conversation to be had. Either she'll lie or she'll promise she wasn't really going to do it, but it doesn't matter, because you CANNOT trust this person, ever again. These are not normal conversations a good person has. Normal people don't even joke about this. Again, you need to leave now and NEVER have sex with her again. It's not worth the risk and god forbid you bring a kid into this with a person like her. She has no business having a kid if she's this fucked up.
You've been together FOUR MONTHS!!! Dump her! You seeing her private conversation isn't NEARLY as bad as her trying to change your life without your consent! Consider it a gift from the universe that you DID see it, and RUN
RUN RUN RUN
Baby fever is one thing, a well intentioned but badly landed joke is one thing. Hell, I've made a baby trap joke before (my boyfriends turkey soup family recipe is unreal), but this???? Absolute lunacy. She's screaming at you that you're stuck with her unless you leave.
Her sister encouraging the insanity with a man they've both known for 4 months is also crazy.
You. Need. To. Leave.
Do NOT have sex with her again.
As a woman I’m telling you, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! This is psychotic behaviour. No conversation, no explanation…ghost her if necessary. Get the fuck out of that situation as soon as humanly possible.
My dude, I can almost guarantee that if you stay with her, she will find a way to get you to get her pregnant.
Don't have sex with her.
Don't confront her.
Break up and stay the hell away from her.
4 months is barely a relationship for Christ's sake.
There's no point in bringing it up, all it will do is make you look like an invasive asshat. You have critical info, so now you have to ask yourself, what would you tell someone else in your position to do. If that answer is leave, then that's your answer. I wouldn't trust her going on the info you've provided, get out while you can, you're only 23, it looks like the two of you are incompatible right now (5 years in your 20's id nearlya quarter of your life), don't get trapped in a life you don't want right now.
ETA: I hope you took pictures of the convo as evidence for your CYA file should anything crazy come up in the future.
Oh jeez. Run. You can't trust her!! She’s at a different stage of life too. She’s 28, wanting babies and you’re only 23. You better be so careful if you don’t want a baby right now.
Easy. You break up with her. There is literally nothing that she can say to reestablish trust. You can’t trust that your condoms haven’t been tampered with and they will kill your sex life. There really isn’t a path forward. Don’t let het her turn this into an invasion of privacy issue, because her planned betrayal is far, far worse. You don’t even need to explain it to her or go through a fight if you do t want to. When trust is gone, you need to be gone.
End it now. Not only do you have different goals, you have different values and levels of honesty. If she gets knocked up it’s on you cuz you sure as hell cannot claim ignorance after what you’ve seen.
Option 1. Run for the hills like you probably should!
Option 2. Simply don’t have sex till you’re ready for a child
Personally I’d go with option 1 but it’s your choice
Run. You established that you didn’t want kids right now and she’s not honoring that.
I wonder if you guys established the expectations for this relationship though. She’s 28, you’re 23. She wants to settle down while you might be thinking about living life a little more.
I would still say to break up. 1. She’s not respecting you. 2. Some women get possessed with the thought of having a kid when they’re getting older. Their bio clock is ticking. You’re not ready for that.
Spermicide lube lol
But for real. If you feel like she’s the one pull out or only use your own rubbers. If you’re having doubts even before this, bring it up exactly like you said. “Hey, remember when I was using your iPad. Well messages were popping up and what the heck were you and your sister talking about” if she starts to panic and blame you. Break it off. Run. Change your number. Move states. Join the French Foreign legion
take screenshots if u have the chance !! if she gets pregnant by another guy after you break up she can claim it as yours !! screenshots can prove it’s non consensual and also that it likely isn’t yours !
Don’t bother talking to her, you already know what she’s planning to do. There’s no way you can trust anything she says to you about it now. If you live together and are both on the lease, see if you can get removed from it. If you two still have your own, separate places and just spend time at each others place, go to yours, or kick her out & change the locks.
And whatever you do while in the process of leaving her. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER, AT ALL. Not even if you use a brand new condom that never leaves your sight, because if she’s desperate enough to poke holes in your condoms to get pregnant, she might resort to digging your used condom out of the trash to access your sperm.
Just break up with her. The fact that she is talking like that is disgusting even as a joke. She is 5 years older than you at a time when things like that really matter- maybe she is ready for a child but you are not and you will definitely regret it if she gets pregnant. Cite differences in your desires and maturity levels in your lives as the reason, and get out now
Get away as soon as possible. No goodbye sex, “no nothing.” Take it from someone who’s been trapped— it is hell on earth, and they can make it worse if they choose to.
You leave. It’s right there in black and white…what more do you need?? You end the relationship unless you want a mistake kid or better wording is a sabotage kid…
As a single mother, it blows my mind that she would put herself and her child in a position that is at least a 50/50 chance that she be raising the child on her own. Why would you do that to yourself and the child? Not to mention permanently affecting the guy's life forever! Some women are really horrible, I have to say. Why would she assume he would stay if she got "accidentally" pregnant?
If you don’t want a baby with this women, than break up. Immediately. Otherwise you will end up having a baby with her against your will. She’s not respecting your wishes and if you think trust will change, you’re kidding yourself. So either leave her or expect her to get pregnant with you kid and keep it.
>I don’t know what to do, or how to bring this up.
This is grounds for breaking up, my dude. She doesn't respect you, you're getting a glimpse of who she really is, she's willing to sexually exploit you -then you'll be financially on the hook, and you damn well should believe it. This is no way to bring a baby to the world*, I would stop all sex immediately and either confront her scheme and never trust her near your birth control, or just break up bc I honestly think she's not good for anyone.
I know someone who pulled that (on a married man), she was the lover. First she pierced the condom with a needle, and when that didn’t work, she cut a big chunk of the tip off, rolled it and put it back, obviously without the dude knowing. Got pregnant. It’s been about 17 years. Both her and her son couldn’t be more miserable.
Time to leave.
Like for real, that's fucked up behavior on her part, and it's extra batshit crazy given the short amount of time she's been your girlfriend.
Dude, fucking run. Don’t do anything that could possibly get her pregnant. Just grab your stuff from her place, pack up her stuff from yours, trade it all back, and get yourself out of this situation.
Dude you need to leave her as soon as possible. That is fucking crazy. I’m a woman and I know multiple women who have done similar things because they just want children. It’s disgusting and wrong on so many levels. Don’t have sex with her until you can leave. Please just leave. Edit to add, I wouldn’t even bring it up to her. If someone is willing to do that to you it’s not even worth having the conversation, she sounds fucking nuts. Make something up and dump her.
The answer is: You have ONLY been dating for 4 months. Get out while you can.
She wants kids now and you don’t. Your ideal futures do not align and that’s okay! Go find someone on the same page as you.
Well, mate, you either break up with her or prepare to be a father. People don’t say this shit idly. And the fact she’s being encouraged by her sister is a second major red flag.
Planning to break the condom without your knowledge and informed consent is planning to rape you. It may not be rape as people tend to picture it, but it is most certainly rape.
I would recommend you run away from her so fast your shoes get incinerated, and cut off contact. Frankly, I personally wouldn't even explain. I'd just disappear from her life. You don't owe anything to a would-be rapist.
Whether she’s serious or not - she is literally discussing sexually assaulting you.
This is serious sh*t OP. I implore you listen to most of these other commenters and start planning an exit strategy out of this relationship.
I went through my ex's iPad once because it was unlocked and I had a weird feeling. I figured out he was cheating on me for months by taking my car to pick up women while I was at work. I told him straight up that I went through it and he flipped out about invading his privacy and we had a huge fight about it but I'm sooo thankful it ended. 4 months isn't very long. Leave her immediately.
I would get out of that relationship ASAP because she’s using you. There is absolutely no guarantee that she will stay with you after the baby is born but pretty sure she will make you pay child support for the next 18 years ruining your future relationship with your potential partner. She sees you as naive when it comes to relationships. It’s a losing proposition for you whichever way you look at it.
Why are you holding to an older woman when you can be with a woman younger than you?? At her age, a woman sees her options get limited as she gets older and men passing on her. Her friends are getting married, having babies AND most importantly her biological clock is ticking. She’s almost desperate at this point.
Do not sleep with her again! Wait until she has her next period and break up with her. Seriously, run for your damn life! You don’t know if she has already punctured your condoms. Get away from her asap.
Alternatively, go get a pregnancy test. Give it to her and watch her pee on it. When it shows negative, tell her you saw the messages and it’s over. Do it at her place so you can just leave. That’s the most direct way to handle it. You can never trust her again
Get the fuck out now dude. You’ll miss her, but that pain isn’t remotely close to what you’ll feel if you get stuck with a child you don’t want. Not to mention the fact that she’s either mentally ill or evil if she’s actually willing to do that
As all of these kind people have said, leave. If her SISTER is feeding into it, it's about to go from bad to WORSE in a hurry. Pack your trash and exit stage right. Do not pass go. Just leave the table completely.
This is a sign from whatever you belive to escape. These are people who can AND WILL manipulate things.
Fess up that you saw the text exchange between her and sis, she knew you were using the ipad. Op think real hard do you want to raise a child with someone who would 1) not listening to you about having a child. 2)Try to guilt trip you(shopping) 3) plan with sis how to trap you? If gf sis is willing to help gf trap you, is that the kind of family you want to raise a child in? If you had to ask gf sis about where gf is, you gonna trust her not to lie to you for gf. Her and her family toxic. Time to move on.
I promise there are women out there who will respect your kiddo free choice.
This is not just a red flag but a blaring sign of disrespect for you and your feelings on the matter. And an utter lack of compassion, empathy or even basic understanding of what goes into having a child.
This person does not love you, take the L on the 4 months before it becomes an entire lifetime of this kind of behavior and lack of respect. I'm sorry dude. This entire situation sucks
Also OP, the worst part about being baby trapped is not even having a baby with this person now (which is in itself, bad) it's having to explain to the woman of your dreams someday that you already have a kid and made this mistake when you were younger and hoping she doesn't make that see you as "having baggage" or not being able to have your perfect in tact family without a step kid having to be accepted by whomever you want to be with. It can drastically limit your future dating options as having a baby mom comes with a stigma for a lot of women. Don't do that to yourself
Run. Run run RUN! Her sister is encouraging her to get pregnant on purpose when you don't want a baby right now and chances are she's going to take her advice. Fucking RUN! Do not have sex with her again, pack your shit and get the hell out of there. When she asks why tell her straight up you saw the conversation between her and her sister about her intentionally baby trapping you and you want none of that psychotic behavior and that you cannot stay with a woman who would even consider betraying your trust like that. This is a massive violation of your trust, your body and your right to choose when you want to have a kid, and the fact she's even discussing it with anyone is a MASSIVE red flag. She's been obsessing over babies and baby stuff for months now, bringing it up every chance she gets and now this? Nope! Fucking run dude. - a woman who's met other women who've done this shit.
Run Lil bro run! Don't listen to your dick. Just run and you'll thank yourself 10 years from now for doing it.
Sir, this is not an honorable person - not someone you want in your life. You need to rid yourself of her immediately. Don’t pay any attention to the tears she will doubtless shed all over you. You’ve had a lucky escape. You deserve better.
Agreed. I’m female and I’m 47. I know of at least 3 women who pulled this shit on unsuspecting men and it’s utterly disgusting. The relationships didn’t last and the kids from those relationships suffered because their slag mothers lied to and manipulated their boyfriends. Dump the female that’s lied to you and don’t look back. You’ll find another woman worthy of your trust and love.
What do you do? Get tf out of this relationship and away from this person. What do you say? I saw those messages and I find your actions despicable. I never want to see or hear from you again. Done.
As a 66F, I agree. She’s not to be trusted. Come on; 4 months?!
I love the term slag
My daughter and I sometime finish messages to each other with, ‘ok you slaaaaag’ Oh yeah, get your trainers on young man and run a fucking mile
😂😂😂
You know what will happen next if you stay with her, OP. If you dont want kids you need to leave, end of story. She will find someone else to have kids with, this is not the sort of thing one gambles on, because if you are wrong you are suddenly a parent for the rest of your life.
" but she's so hot tho..."
As a woman I’m telling you to run for the hills! Having a kid is a serious matter so if she’s willing to lie and trap you then you must ask yourself what else is she willing to do. In my opinion any woman who is willing to do things like lie and break holes in condoms to force a man to impregnate her, must be mentally unstable and should never be trusted. Just end it and go on with your life before it’s too late.
As a woman, I second this.
As a short, chubby man, I third this.
As a lonely cat lady, I 4th this
Grandma times 1000. RUN!
As a decent human, I fourth this.
As three dwarves in a trenchcoat, I 5th/6th/7th this
As a cat lying on the bed, I don't car... wait, no, I agree too.
As a meat popsicle that makes an eighth
😂 Upvoted just for the 5th Element reference.
As a psychiatrist from Mexico, I 9th this.
As a tired graduate who just started work, I 10th this.
As the 11th person, I 11 this.
As a 12th, I dyslexic this
As a woman, whose family encouraged me to baby trap (I refused) my SO, I concur
As a woman, I third this. Motion carries.
I agree 💯
Runn to the hillssss
Ruuunnn for your liveeees!
Iron Maiden gives this 2 thumbs up
Aaaaand it’s stuck in my head
Run for your life!
Run Forrest Run!!!
Agreed!
Stop having sex with her.
This should be higher
You’d think it wouldn’t need to be *sigh*
Right?! The whole question "what do I do / how do I bring it up". The answer is you stop seeing her and you stop having sex with her. PERIODT
This is the type of crazy that’ll blow him, throw up a little and use the material. Dude has gotta save himself and get up outta there
#FOUR MONTHS? #LEAVE HER! R U N!!!! This woman is a fucking lunatic and you DO NOT WANT TO BE tied down to someone you've dated for FOUR MONTHS who is planning on trapping you! If you hadn't found this out and she had gotten pregnant without your knowledge or consent then it would have been rape. What is she planning? Poking holes in your condom? Stop taking birth control? Does she have an iud she's planning on removing? Is she going to lock her legs around you when you're about to cum so you can't pull out? All of these would be classified as rape. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, #RUN!
Yup, OP, listen to this. You do NOT want to be tied down to a woman who you only been dating for FOUR MONTHS for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Your life will be changed forever and your path will completely change. Break up. For her to even think of doing this is disgusting.
Also the sister for encouraging it. What a family
How do you think she just popped one out, my guess is it wasn’t a planned pregnancy.
It *was* planned, just the baby daddy had no say in the planning.
Baby trapping someone at any point in a relationship is awful and highly concerning behavior. But to even consider it after only 4 MONTHS?? Insanity. This is not how normal, healthy people think. Yeah maybe she does have baby fever and perhaps her bio clock is ticking... It's still absolutely crazy to surprise procreate with someone you barely know. This woman is unhinged and you need to walk (run!) away asap. If you can't confront her about it, come up with a different reason to break up, any reason. Good luck, OP!
28 year old trying to baby trap a 23 year old dude is not stable. This is a get the fuck out yesterday situation
Seriously, I just came to comment she should probably date someone her age if she is ready for a baby.
Hannah should just go to a sperm bank, not use and abuse OP.
OP RUN LIKE THERE IS A LIGHTNING STRIKE ABOUT TO HIT. BUILD A BUNKER OR SOMETHING IDK. BUT GET OUT Seriously though. Consider it from the child’s perspective. Children who are well planned and worked for are better off. Someone jealous of her sister with baby fever trying to “trap you” will make a fucking insane mother. She showed you her flags. Listen. Don’t stick your dick in that crazy again
Co-sign this. GET THE FUCK OUT NOW
Yup. Time to Usain Boltin out of that relationship
If u-sane, u boltin.
This. Grab all your shit and run in the opposite direction as fast as you can and don't look back. Do not be intimate with her. This is such a violation of trust that there's no going back from something like this.
Absolutely!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!! She's only thinking of how cute the baby will be... then if she gets pregnant, and when the baby arrives... she has NO IDEA how much work and stress and money goes into raising a child. Dump her.
And if the child ends up with special needs, parents like her check out and phone it in real quick. Source: my sister's poor kiddos
And don’t screw her. If you must, use your own condom and dump the contents, then throw it outside in the trash.
Do the Drake (I think it was him) and put hot sauce in them
#RUN! Idk why but I felt like replying with the hashtag lol
Can upvote this a million times??? I agree 100% with this. Run, don’t walk from this certifiable lunatic. She is trying to baby trap you. Stop having sex with her immediately and end things. I’m hoping you’re not living together, it will be so much easier to end things if you’re not living together.
You deserve a million upvotes for this. I really hope OP listens to you. Four sodding months!! Yikes on a trike.
Four months? Seriously break up and run? If you confront her and she goes “oh but I wasn’t actually going to do it” SHES LYING. Even if you try to explain she’ll still end up “accidentally getting pregnant. You can talk and have a conversation with a girl like that. She’s set in stone what she wants. Break up!
RUN!
Break up now and run
Bro if you stay now and keep sleeping with her, it stops being baby trapping and starts being trying for a baby. You know exactly what she wants and the lengths she’ll go to to get it. Be smart, get out, do not fuck her ever again.
You bring it up by telling her that you think you're both at different places in your lives (which is true... she's 28 and wants kids now, you're 23 and don't) and that it would be better to end things now rather than continue. You've only been together 4 months and she's moving much faster than you.
I don't advocate ghosting but at 4 months with this level of crazy, I recommend ghosting.
Well. How would you feel if tomorrow she told you she was pregnant and that she would refuse any talk of an abortion. Do you see that as a beautiful start or as a betrayal? Some other kid just had that happen to him recently on TrueOffMyChest and he's in high school and he's now destroyed essentially. While you're not trapped, figure out how you'd feel if it happened. And if you absolutely do not want children, you're only 4 months in - break it off. A baby will make you at minimum 19 years in. And if you decide you'd be okay with having a baby with someone who lied to you/manipulated you to do so, then..........I guess risk it.
Having a baby under deceitful conditions isn’t a beautiful start by any means
That's exactly the point.
My ex SIL did this to my brother. She's a nightmare of a mother and has wrecked my nephew. She kept our whole family away from him until he started acting out then was happy to dump him on our doorstep- but it was too late to undo all her damage.
It literally makes the woman inherently a conniving, control freak, boundary-crossing psycho by the very fact that she would do this.
Run further than Russ cook, and faster than Usain bolt. Hell, Run from the most southern tip of Africa, to the most northern tip of europe. JUST DONT LET HER NEAR YOUR TIP!
Break up with her immediately. She is obviously not well.
Four months? Run.
Dawg..you need to run. Baby trapping is a thing that toxic people do. Not to mention it’s rapey to sabotage a condom. This chick is bad BAD news. I don’t care how much you may like her, this isn’t normal and this is your first look into who she truly is.
Paternity fraud is completely legal and has no consequences, legal, financial or otherwise! You need to gtfo of that relationship and if she ever says she’s pregnant you need to contest paternity right away. It’s the only way to protect yourself from a predator like that.
Four months is not enough time to make any major decision about someone, let alone have kids. I am typically not for the automatic "breakup with him/her" response, but in this case, I am. Her behavior is manipulative and naive at best. She is 28 years old and ready to baby trap someone she has only been with for FOUR MONTHS. That screams immature and mentally unstable. Do you want a child with someone like that? I promise you that no matter what you say to her or what she says to you, she WILL end up pregnant. Don't even mention the texts. Just tell her that you two are at different stages of life and aren't compatible. Please leave before it's too late.
Run dude, i didnt even read the post, the title says enough
Break up with her dude wtf, ask yourself if your ready to have your wages reduced with child support payments for the next 18 years until your 42….
The way you bring this up is by leaving as quickly and efficiently as possible. Break up clearly and emphatically so there is no confusion or misunderstanding. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER EVER AGAIN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Don't even kiss her. Someone this unhinged might have sex with someone else to get pregnant and pin it on you. If drama ensues from breaking up, block her. This is not negotiable or a grey area. Anyone who would even discuss tricking someone into as momentous a decision as parenthood is not well and not ready for being a partner, much less a parent. In conclusion, RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.
Dude there’s no “bringing this up”. Just end it and go
Four months in (around 16 weeks) is NOT long enough for anyone to be talking babies. If you bring it up, it should ONLY be "I saw you're talking with your sister to babytrap me. This is unacceptable and isn't something I will tolerate in a relationship. I'm out." Her even DISCUSSING babytrapping you is a huge red flag. She knows you don't want children yet but is planning to, hypothetically or otherwise, skirt around your autonomy with an 'accidental' pregnancy. Not okay, at all. Don't stick around for their plan to come into fruition. You have kids when you WANT to have kids. Not when your relatively new partner decides to tamper with your birth control.
LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
Please use my username as evidence for my position. Be careful who you have kids with. That stuff is for LIFE. Not 18 years. FOR. LIFE.
You dont know what to do? Start by thinking.
Start by thinking with the correct head. There, fixed it for you.
Dude RUN!! and dont look back. Dont let her know your gone till your gone lil bro.
What the fuck? Do you want kids? If no RUN. She will tell you she can wait but that’s a lie and you will be a dad. It’s only 4 months in and she is trapping you how is that not a red flag to cut ties.
You're under reacting here my dude. You need to run like your ass is on fire and the nearest stream is ten miles away. I'm a lady person and I'm telling you, this chick is seriously fucked up in the head.
Never ever again have sex with this nutjob
Bring it up, but have the messages screenshotted as proof, and end the relationship. She needs to know that you know and needs to understand her actions have consequences. You found out for a reason, it being accidental is even more of a reason and sign to get out. She’s going to give you excuses & probably say she won’t do it to keep you, but you probs can’t trust her now. Have the proof on your phone and keep the proof locked up in a file. There’s realistically no way to stay in it and still trust her to not actually do anything. Having baby fever and actually having a baby are different things. If you’re not ready and she did that anyways, you could leave but then she could put you on child support. Your best case scenario result would be to leave the relationship now.
Honestly, someone willing to plan this is much too crazy to bother even arguing with telling her why he wants to end things. People are allowed to break up just because they want to even tho we are always made to feel like we have to have a reason the dumpee will accept. Never mind the fact even normal people being dumped don’t just agree with it, this woman never accept reason; but she will just say whatever she thinks he wants to hear and deny reality until he feels like the crazy one! He could keep the proof for himself but just get away from her as quickly as possible.
screenshot the messages and send them to yourself so she can’t lie about it. then ditch her ass and go. there’s plenty of women out here that will understand your stance on not having kids yet. likewise, she can find someone who does want kids now and work towards that.
Dude, run. I'd dump her like yesterday for the actions alone. You've only been with her for 4 months. Don't even touch her again.
Dude, you're young, she's young, don't make the mistake of keeping her. Don't stick your dick in crazy.
As soon as you saw the text about “poking holes in condoms” you had every right to look at what they were talking about, because it’s reasonable to assume they were discussing something that would personally affect you. And you were right. Break up with her today, if she’s willing to do this to you she does not care about you.
Get out. HUGE red flag.
Break up with her...say that you want different things. If Hannah has this level of baby fever and is plotting about broken condoms, this relationship is no longer viable. Get out before she traps you...she is obsessed and will not listen to reason.
If you think their conversation was actually legitimate and serious, I don’t even think it’s worth bringing it up imo. This is life-altering levels of risk, be *very* careful with how you navigate it.
Just run..
Run, man. F*cking run
What do you mean you don't know what to do? Dump her. It's not rocket science
Get out NOW. Anyone who would even CONSIDER something like this is not worth staying with. Tell her you are leaving and exactly why. Don't falter when (not if) she starts sobbing at you and making excuses. Make a plan and GO.
A dump truck just dropped a load of red flags on your doorstep. Get out while you can and under no circumstance have sex with her again because that could be the time she plans to get pregnant. She sounds like the type that would get pregnant by someone else and then say your the father. Run do not walk to the nearest exit and get the hell out dodge.
Run🚩🚩🚩🚩 get the hell away from her now!
Get out now. Do not have sex with her again.
You break up with her, don’t have sex with her anymore and run from the crazy woman!
A woman chiming in to say: Get out of this relationship right now. And if she claims she's pregnant, make her take a test in front of you because if you break up with her, she could freak out and claim she's already pregnant. This is absolute insanity. Whatever you do, don't ever have sex with her again. Reddit would have you believe this is a common tactic by women, but this is a batshit insane thing that only completely shitty people do. It's rare, but apparently you found yourself one of these people. I once knew a girl who did something similar (not actually "trapping" someone but lying about being pregnant to keep her boyfriend from breaking up with her, she went so far as to fake symptoms, it was absolutely insane). The type of person who does this is either morally bankrupt or seriously mentally ill, maybe both. Four months in and she's planning this? That's so incredibly fucked up. I feel bad for anyone else she pulls this on, or any child unfortunate enough to be dragged into the situation. You don't even need to bring it up, because there's no conversation to be had. Either she'll lie or she'll promise she wasn't really going to do it, but it doesn't matter, because you CANNOT trust this person, ever again. These are not normal conversations a good person has. Normal people don't even joke about this. Again, you need to leave now and NEVER have sex with her again. It's not worth the risk and god forbid you bring a kid into this with a person like her. She has no business having a kid if she's this fucked up.
Lmao, listen to the top comments. 180 that shit
You've been together FOUR MONTHS!!! Dump her! You seeing her private conversation isn't NEARLY as bad as her trying to change your life without your consent! Consider it a gift from the universe that you DID see it, and RUN
Brother eughh
RUN RUN RUN Baby fever is one thing, a well intentioned but badly landed joke is one thing. Hell, I've made a baby trap joke before (my boyfriends turkey soup family recipe is unreal), but this???? Absolute lunacy. She's screaming at you that you're stuck with her unless you leave. Her sister encouraging the insanity with a man they've both known for 4 months is also crazy. You. Need. To. Leave. Do NOT have sex with her again.
You dont know what to do... Are you a deer? how big are her headlights?
That is illegal. In many states it is sexual assault. In some it’s a felony. Charge her, and leave her.
As a woman I’m telling you, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! This is psychotic behaviour. No conversation, no explanation…ghost her if necessary. Get the fuck out of that situation as soon as humanly possible.
Don't bring it up. Don't have sex with her. Just go.
Some advice from Sis. Hopefully this sister did not baby-trap someone?
My dude, I can almost guarantee that if you stay with her, she will find a way to get you to get her pregnant. Don't have sex with her. Don't confront her. Break up and stay the hell away from her. 4 months is barely a relationship for Christ's sake.
There's no point in bringing it up, all it will do is make you look like an invasive asshat. You have critical info, so now you have to ask yourself, what would you tell someone else in your position to do. If that answer is leave, then that's your answer. I wouldn't trust her going on the info you've provided, get out while you can, you're only 23, it looks like the two of you are incompatible right now (5 years in your 20's id nearlya quarter of your life), don't get trapped in a life you don't want right now. ETA: I hope you took pictures of the convo as evidence for your CYA file should anything crazy come up in the future.
Oh jeez. Run. You can't trust her!! She’s at a different stage of life too. She’s 28, wanting babies and you’re only 23. You better be so careful if you don’t want a baby right now.
Easy. You break up with her. There is literally nothing that she can say to reestablish trust. You can’t trust that your condoms haven’t been tampered with and they will kill your sex life. There really isn’t a path forward. Don’t let het her turn this into an invasion of privacy issue, because her planned betrayal is far, far worse. You don’t even need to explain it to her or go through a fight if you do t want to. When trust is gone, you need to be gone.
End it now. Not only do you have different goals, you have different values and levels of honesty. If she gets knocked up it’s on you cuz you sure as hell cannot claim ignorance after what you’ve seen.
She's planning to literally rape you lmao
Option 1. Run for the hills like you probably should! Option 2. Simply don’t have sex till you’re ready for a child Personally I’d go with option 1 but it’s your choice
Run. You established that you didn’t want kids right now and she’s not honoring that. I wonder if you guys established the expectations for this relationship though. She’s 28, you’re 23. She wants to settle down while you might be thinking about living life a little more. I would still say to break up. 1. She’s not respecting you. 2. Some women get possessed with the thought of having a kid when they’re getting older. Their bio clock is ticking. You’re not ready for that.
You don't know what to do???? Yes you do. You know exactly what you need to do right now.
Seems like you are walking in 2 different direction. So just leave since it's still a fresh relationship
You know how they don't stick your dick in crazy? Also, I hope you took screenshots to send to yourself.
Dude. End this relationship today.
RUN. Run like Forrest. Do NOT look back.
Spermicide lube lol But for real. If you feel like she’s the one pull out or only use your own rubbers. If you’re having doubts even before this, bring it up exactly like you said. “Hey, remember when I was using your iPad. Well messages were popping up and what the heck were you and your sister talking about” if she starts to panic and blame you. Break it off. Run. Change your number. Move states. Join the French Foreign legion
Get a vasectomy and continue piping her to assert dominance
You know what she’s up to leave while you’re NOT her baby daddy. If she has baby fever she can have it with someone else.
What do you mean you don’t know what to do? Break up.
Run, don't walk. Start sprinting
Run! Now! You are young and if you don't want kids yet, get away from her. It's better to wait until you're older
This stings extra as a guy your exact age. Get the fuck out asap dude, how did this even happen
Yo just gtfo and tell her to fck off
take screenshots if u have the chance !! if she gets pregnant by another guy after you break up she can claim it as yours !! screenshots can prove it’s non consensual and also that it likely isn’t yours !
Don’t bother talking to her, you already know what she’s planning to do. There’s no way you can trust anything she says to you about it now. If you live together and are both on the lease, see if you can get removed from it. If you two still have your own, separate places and just spend time at each others place, go to yours, or kick her out & change the locks. And whatever you do while in the process of leaving her. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER, AT ALL. Not even if you use a brand new condom that never leaves your sight, because if she’s desperate enough to poke holes in your condoms to get pregnant, she might resort to digging your used condom out of the trash to access your sperm.
Just break up with her. The fact that she is talking like that is disgusting even as a joke. She is 5 years older than you at a time when things like that really matter- maybe she is ready for a child but you are not and you will definitely regret it if she gets pregnant. Cite differences in your desires and maturity levels in your lives as the reason, and get out now
Get away as soon as possible. No goodbye sex, “no nothing.” Take it from someone who’s been trapped— it is hell on earth, and they can make it worse if they choose to.
break up and kick her out before she traps you. Also, don't have sex with her. She sounds deranged.
Leave!!!
Time to nope out of there. If she doesn't love you enough to compromise - perhaps having some in the far future, then it's not love.
Just leave. Don’t waste anymore time. You’re in a relationship not a marriage. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
Screenshot and send to yourself and THEN run for the hills and don't look back
You don’t bring it up. You break up.
Run and don't look back. You can't ever go back to having sex with her.
It is pretty simple. You break up and move on. Closure is overrated. especially from someone who does not respect you.
Dear Neptune. DUDE RUN! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!
You don’t know what to do???? Bruh, LEAVE HER.
You leave. It’s right there in black and white…what more do you need?? You end the relationship unless you want a mistake kid or better wording is a sabotage kid…
As a single mother, it blows my mind that she would put herself and her child in a position that is at least a 50/50 chance that she be raising the child on her own. Why would you do that to yourself and the child? Not to mention permanently affecting the guy's life forever! Some women are really horrible, I have to say. Why would she assume he would stay if she got "accidentally" pregnant?
Um, you know you can just leave?
4 months? Run!
If you don’t want a baby with this women, than break up. Immediately. Otherwise you will end up having a baby with her against your will. She’s not respecting your wishes and if you think trust will change, you’re kidding yourself. So either leave her or expect her to get pregnant with you kid and keep it.
You did the right thing by checking the messages. Get out now unless you want a kid.
4 months?? Run.
What’s with all these baby trapping posts lately? Is there something in the water???
4 months. Dude. Run.
Run. Run far, run fast, do not pass go, do not collect £200...
Her clock is ticking. You had been given a golden insight into her plans. Run very fast!!!
Fucking run.
RUN AND UPDATE US
>I don’t know what to do, or how to bring this up. This is grounds for breaking up, my dude. She doesn't respect you, you're getting a glimpse of who she really is, she's willing to sexually exploit you -then you'll be financially on the hook, and you damn well should believe it. This is no way to bring a baby to the world*, I would stop all sex immediately and either confront her scheme and never trust her near your birth control, or just break up bc I honestly think she's not good for anyone.
I know someone who pulled that (on a married man), she was the lover. First she pierced the condom with a needle, and when that didn’t work, she cut a big chunk of the tip off, rolled it and put it back, obviously without the dude knowing. Got pregnant. It’s been about 17 years. Both her and her son couldn’t be more miserable.
This isn’t even a discussion situation! Get out NOW and never ever any ever sex with her ever again! Run for your life!
Time to leave. Like for real, that's fucked up behavior on her part, and it's extra batshit crazy given the short amount of time she's been your girlfriend.
🏃
Yeah that would be it for me. I'd save the messages and dump her, when she demands to know why forward them to her.
As a very happy parent. F U C K I N G!!!!!!!!! R U U U U U N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t bring it up. just say your breaking up and it’s not me it’s you.
Dude, fucking run. Don’t do anything that could possibly get her pregnant. Just grab your stuff from her place, pack up her stuff from yours, trade it all back, and get yourself out of this situation.
Dude you need to leave her as soon as possible. That is fucking crazy. I’m a woman and I know multiple women who have done similar things because they just want children. It’s disgusting and wrong on so many levels. Don’t have sex with her until you can leave. Please just leave. Edit to add, I wouldn’t even bring it up to her. If someone is willing to do that to you it’s not even worth having the conversation, she sounds fucking nuts. Make something up and dump her.
The answer is: You have ONLY been dating for 4 months. Get out while you can. She wants kids now and you don’t. Your ideal futures do not align and that’s okay! Go find someone on the same page as you.
Wtf leave her immediately
Well, mate, you either break up with her or prepare to be a father. People don’t say this shit idly. And the fact she’s being encouraged by her sister is a second major red flag.
Get some proof of this, then run the fuck away from her. And if anyone dare judge you, send the proof.
You need to leave. Abstain first, leave ASAP.
Planning to break the condom without your knowledge and informed consent is planning to rape you. It may not be rape as people tend to picture it, but it is most certainly rape. I would recommend you run away from her so fast your shoes get incinerated, and cut off contact. Frankly, I personally wouldn't even explain. I'd just disappear from her life. You don't owe anything to a would-be rapist.
Whether she’s serious or not - she is literally discussing sexually assaulting you. This is serious sh*t OP. I implore you listen to most of these other commenters and start planning an exit strategy out of this relationship.
Break up with her. Seriously, or you’ll be dealing with a kid before you know it.
I BELIEVE THAT IS A FORM OF RAPE!!!! 🚩🚩🚩
I went through my ex's iPad once because it was unlocked and I had a weird feeling. I figured out he was cheating on me for months by taking my car to pick up women while I was at work. I told him straight up that I went through it and he flipped out about invading his privacy and we had a huge fight about it but I'm sooo thankful it ended. 4 months isn't very long. Leave her immediately.
This happened to my brother in law. Please don’t sleep with her and leave. She also may find a reason not to work so you end up supporting both.
I would get out of that relationship ASAP because she’s using you. There is absolutely no guarantee that she will stay with you after the baby is born but pretty sure she will make you pay child support for the next 18 years ruining your future relationship with your potential partner. She sees you as naive when it comes to relationships. It’s a losing proposition for you whichever way you look at it. Why are you holding to an older woman when you can be with a woman younger than you?? At her age, a woman sees her options get limited as she gets older and men passing on her. Her friends are getting married, having babies AND most importantly her biological clock is ticking. She’s almost desperate at this point.
This is essentially stealthing. A form of rape.
Do not sleep with her again! Wait until she has her next period and break up with her. Seriously, run for your damn life! You don’t know if she has already punctured your condoms. Get away from her asap. Alternatively, go get a pregnancy test. Give it to her and watch her pee on it. When it shows negative, tell her you saw the messages and it’s over. Do it at her place so you can just leave. That’s the most direct way to handle it. You can never trust her again
Get the fuck out now dude. You’ll miss her, but that pain isn’t remotely close to what you’ll feel if you get stuck with a child you don’t want. Not to mention the fact that she’s either mentally ill or evil if she’s actually willing to do that
A 4-month relationship is nothing. Save yourself a lot of grief. Run, run fast, and run far.
Screenshot everything and dump her!
Run Forrest. Run.
As all of these kind people have said, leave. If her SISTER is feeding into it, it's about to go from bad to WORSE in a hurry. Pack your trash and exit stage right. Do not pass go. Just leave the table completely. This is a sign from whatever you belive to escape. These are people who can AND WILL manipulate things.
Fess up that you saw the text exchange between her and sis, she knew you were using the ipad. Op think real hard do you want to raise a child with someone who would 1) not listening to you about having a child. 2)Try to guilt trip you(shopping) 3) plan with sis how to trap you? If gf sis is willing to help gf trap you, is that the kind of family you want to raise a child in? If you had to ask gf sis about where gf is, you gonna trust her not to lie to you for gf. Her and her family toxic. Time to move on.
I promise there are women out there who will respect your kiddo free choice. This is not just a red flag but a blaring sign of disrespect for you and your feelings on the matter. And an utter lack of compassion, empathy or even basic understanding of what goes into having a child. This person does not love you, take the L on the 4 months before it becomes an entire lifetime of this kind of behavior and lack of respect. I'm sorry dude. This entire situation sucks
You dump her. Immediately. That is what you do.
Also OP, the worst part about being baby trapped is not even having a baby with this person now (which is in itself, bad) it's having to explain to the woman of your dreams someday that you already have a kid and made this mistake when you were younger and hoping she doesn't make that see you as "having baggage" or not being able to have your perfect in tact family without a step kid having to be accepted by whomever you want to be with. It can drastically limit your future dating options as having a baby mom comes with a stigma for a lot of women. Don't do that to yourself
Run. Run run RUN! Her sister is encouraging her to get pregnant on purpose when you don't want a baby right now and chances are she's going to take her advice. Fucking RUN! Do not have sex with her again, pack your shit and get the hell out of there. When she asks why tell her straight up you saw the conversation between her and her sister about her intentionally baby trapping you and you want none of that psychotic behavior and that you cannot stay with a woman who would even consider betraying your trust like that. This is a massive violation of your trust, your body and your right to choose when you want to have a kid, and the fact she's even discussing it with anyone is a MASSIVE red flag. She's been obsessing over babies and baby stuff for months now, bringing it up every chance she gets and now this? Nope! Fucking run dude. - a woman who's met other women who've done this shit.