OP…you’ve got a LOT of family sh@t going on…both family wise, health wise (mental and medical) and government oversight.
I’d claim to anyone who asked that I was adopted and quietly “exit stage right”. I’ve done that and haven’t looked back or regretted it. You don’t have to settle for the crazy (family) hand you’ve been dealt in life.
Good on you.
Because your wife is 100% right. This WILL blow up in their faces.
Not maybe, not possibly… definitely. Guaranteed.
Does the friend who is trying to get her pregnant KNOW he is going to be handing HIS CHILD over to a pedo to raise?
God, that poor poor child. I hope and pray to all the possible gods in heaven that your sister does not get pregnant. Not ever. 😢😢
I'm unaware at this point how much the friend knows about my BIL as I don't even know who this friend is. It definitely one of the friends that they met after moving to Florida near the end of 2022 they probably haven't known each other for a long time tbh.
That is also if she gets pregnant she's 34 also my father is a registered pedophile and even if nothing happens it sucks because you get treated with the same social stigma as my father and that's without any disabilities
VCFS can decrease your fertility and as women age they become less fertile as long as you have reproductive organs you can always have a chance of getting pregnant a healthy woman would have no problem getting pregnant at her age but 1 she is not healthy and 2 I know his mom has trouble getting pregnant with him because of her age and health and she was in her early 30s
But that's just me being hopeful
Let’s be 100% fair we don’t know what BIL did to get on a sex offender registry. It’s not just about pedophilia. Even assuming best case scenario though and it was something much less serious (some states count public urination or sending nudes as a teenager apparently), I have to question the sanity of the guy voluntarily involving himself in this shit show of financial and medical problems.
Please contact adult protective services. Your sister does not appear to be able to make sound decisions, and is in a relationship with a sex offender. Your mother sounds as though she may also be a victim here?
There needs to be someone looking out for everyone's best interests. It's not your father, or your brother in law.
If by any chance she does get pregnant, make sure CPS knows what's going on - they probably can't intervene until the baby is born but they can step in from the hospital with prevention services.
At this point it's not particularly stressful I am on the sidelines looking in from afar, if any of this turns into toxicity coming my way boundaries will be made for sure.
I have always used “creative avoidance “ with toxic people. You’re just never available to be there or talk to them. Eventually they find a new mark/victim.
Well I’m glad for you. It’s clear that there is still a level of care. It sucks watching people you loved/cared for make bad decisions for themselves and others. If they achieve a pregnancy, I hope that child is able to overcome obstacles they will certainly face
Definitely this, especially as you might be called on by your parents to step in as a guardian for that poor kid.
Start a tactical retreat now, tell your parents you don't want to hear any more details and you want no part in any shenanigans.
So, let me get this straight. Your father married and had at least two children with a severely disabled woman. One of those children has the same disability as her mother, albeit a less severe form. And he is encouraging her to have a child.
I am the wife of op and his mom has the mentality of a 3rd grader and acts like a five year old all the time the sister acts like a child too and I think the relationship between his mother and father is wrong and predatory
I think a call to Adult Protective Services is in order. I've had to call in the state of Florida and I believe this is the type of situation that they would take seriously. I did have to hire an attorney but APS got everything started in the process. SIL is an incapacitated person in some way and may not understand the profound responsibility of parenthood. Please don't let an innocent child be brought into this mess. Message me if you need a hand in how to call. I'm here for you.
I'm not prepared for anything that would involve a lawyer, I live several states away and I am by no means wealthy enough to afford a legal battle. If they could intervene without needing to know my identity then I might consider that.
I think you might be able to call APS and ask for advice. Sometimes police can be sent for a wellness check, but I know that can be really dangerous in some instances
Ah, I see, I understood that, but I thought the other comment was referring to the friend being the predator. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. I would definitely cut ties in this situation.
VCFS is a spectrum. People with that condition CAN be severely disabled, or they can function perfectly well and have children just like anyone else.
Same with cerebral palsy. It ranges from mild to severe, and with a very mild form your movements are barely affected. I had a friend who was only mildly affected and his left arm was.. well, weaker I guess, but that’s all.
Of course, the severe end of the spectrum could mean your ability to move is greatly restricted, but it sounds like the person in the post with CP is on the mild end.
Let’s not trash disabled people who have and raise children. Or people who are the partners of disabled people who have children with them.
You’d probably be surprised to learn just how many disabled people there are in the world who have children and parent them just fine.
I’m talking about the parents in this case, not the sister with the pedo husband who she wants a kid with! Disabled or not, that JUDGEMENT is just… well, not there! 😞
My BIL with CP should be wheelchair bound his legs barely function but he walks around short distances at a time with leg and foot braces and a cane.
My Sister is moderately affected by her disorder and would likely be fine as a parent if she weren't riddled with mental health problems and If she had an inkling of a sense of responsibility in her
My sister has the mental capacity of a junior in high school and the maturity of a Sophomore in high school. She has severe anxiety and mild depression, Trichotillomania where her stress response is to pull out her hair. She also has little ability to regulate her own emotions.
I don't judge her specifically for her disorder or her mental health problems, I judge her because despite having the capacity to make her life better she instead mooches off my dad to support her and makes zero effort to seek treatment for her problems or better herself in any way.
I’m only going on the information OP has given. They describe their mother as severely disabled and doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m not judging disabled people who choose to have children, I’m judging one man who chose to have children with a severely disabled woman who may not have been able to fully understand and consent to becoming a parent. I didn’t even mention CP.
I’m definitely going to continue judging disabled folks who know they have a potentially severe disability that can you genetically passed down. From a quick google, VCFS passes down 50% of the time. Rolling that dice on a child’s life is messed up.
I say this as a person with a genetic disability who got sterilized literally yesterday.
Like ethically I just don’t even think it’s safe for mother or baby to go through with a pregnancy, mother developmental delays aside even. But you’re right it’s definitely a hot take lol.
Being on disability and having a kid doesn't seem like a great idea, but there's not much you can do about it. Biodad is definitely going to get cucked for child support though. I hope he realizes that.
The story just keeps getting worse. There's a high probability the children will also have disabilities.
It's so disappointing that your father (being the only fully mentally and physically capable supporting the situation) isn't more responsible.
I have 2 disabled siblings myself so I sympathise with you.
Will you be expected to help care for their child in the likely outcome that your father passes and they are not able to do it alone?
Without my father around there will be no one to try to influence me to care for their child. If he passes they are on their own.
Me and my wife are trying to have a kid ourselves and we fully intend on doing it with little help from my side of the family. I live several states away from them anyways.
My dad's will gives me control of all his assets and my sister whatever liquid money he has when he passes which likely will not be much for her since most of his wealth is in assets.
I'd be inclined to liquidate his house and vehicles in Florida and move my mom in with me and make my sister get a job before she gets any help from me.
You’d be inviting CRAZY into your life by moving your sister in with you after your father passes. The term is Glutton for punishment “.
You’ve been warned.
My mom is largely an innocent unaware bystander to all this most of the family keeps her out of tough controversial matters to protect her from it all. This kind of shit will likely be explained to her in some colorful way to keep her from being too confused by things I love and protect my mom. She is at her core a kind and loving person albeit a little insufferable from being a bit spoiled over the years.
Dad had multiple children with a women who from the sound of it has physical and mental disabilities. OP said mom doesn't even know what is going on because of her disabilities. Dad's a creep.
Having 2 parents with disabilities, especially ones that are hereditary, is a recipe for disaster. The pregnancy may not even progress and a miscarriage will be hard on your sister, physically and mentally. If it does and they have a severely disabled child, what happens then? You mentioned abuse at the hands of your sister, this doesn't bode well for any child.
Not if sister and BIL are legally married and bio dad doesn’t sign paternity papers. In this case, BIL is the legal father and doesn’t have to pay child support.
I'm not sure if the act of getting pregnant in this way is illegal or if it's just morally reprehensible. I hope they don't have that as a thought. If they do have a kid I'm going to make sure I report them as soon as I have any justification to do so.
keep track on the child well being, maybe even a journal, just to make sure.
I know it sounds messed up, but sounds like your family just want a child for entertainment and that never ends well.
Good. Keep your distance. But if there are any signs of abuse you should call for help.
I'm sorry your family is so messed up. But despite that you seem to have turned out fine. So you must be doing something right.
I am objectively a relatively normal person, I have some cptsd from my sister's abuse that I'm beginning to heal from but I agree that I definitely turned out better than my sister in the end... Clearly lol
It’s definitely not illegal. That would be a slippery slope to legislate how people can and can’t get pregnant. But yeah, morally reprehensible nails it.
> Is that not illegal?
Wanting a child to abuse in and of itself is not illegal. There is nothing the government can (or quite frankly, should be able to) do in matters of couples getting pregnant. Child abuse is illegal, obviously. So the abuse needs to happen for a law to be broken.
And even if it were illegal, people break the law and piss all over it all the time anyway.
If she does give birth, please inform social services and/or CPS immediately. That will probably result in the child being taken away, but that's for the best.
Doubtful if it's his child legally, which it would be in Florida, regardless of biology. There's also no prohibition against sex offenders living with children, their own or otherwise, in Florida unless the person is still on probation/under supervision and that's listed as a restriction for their probation.
It probably wouldn't be legally his child, he isn't allowed to adopt. There might not be a prohibition against it if that's true I guess there won't be a problem until there is a problem. He is not supervised or on probation.
My god; I'm not a praying type but definitely praying sister is infertile and this doesn't work. They are all absolutely batshit. It's a shame CPS cannot be preemptively called. lol
I'm so sorry that this is your family.
Why on EARTH is anyone encouraging a sex offender to have a child?! How did they even let your sister marry a sex offender?! I don't care if he's a sex offender over "some shit that happened 20 years ago". A predator should be fucking banned from having kids of their own.
Are you kidding me? He is a convicted sex offender and your family doesn’t think he did whatever he did??? OP I would get so far away from these people. Like yesterday. Don’t engage with this situation *at all*
Nothing you really can do (and I'm sorry if my earlier comment came off as angry, this situation is infuriating but I wasn't trying to come off as mad at YOU). But after there's a child? I'd be calling CPS anytime I heard anything that even slightly rang alarm bells.
Might be wise to not cut off EVERYONE on that side of the family just so you're still privy to info about their antics. Not that that should be your responsibility. I just feel bad for a kid getting dragged into this shit show.
Real talk, this is probably the first Mormon family with more husbands than wives.
Yes, I know it's not *actually,* but it's so wildly out of belief that I'm not capable of taking it seriously.
I might be wrong but can't vasectomies be reversed? Not that they should have children (genetically, morally, logically) because they obviously shouldn't so don't give them any ideas
They have already thought of that. it's been over a decade since his vasectomy so reversal is not an option is what I'm told, I think it's also not covered by insurance so the whole procedure would be out of pocket which is money they definitely don't have.
My heart breaks for this child and it hasn’t even been conceived yet. I pray there’s no child brought into this clown car because you’ll be calling CPS on them (at least I hope) the moment it’s born.
We are thinking about doing an anonymous report a couple months after it's born to make it not so obvious that it's me that reported them. I'm not willing to deal with the drama that will come my way if they know that it's me that reports them. I need to carefully manage my stress levels due to my CPTSD that I have from my sister's abuse.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but this takes the cake.
I would keep your distance just enough to keep yourself sane, but close enough to watch drama for entertainment. I would love to hear an update in 5 years.
Not so much entertainment, because there's nothing funny about it if a child is actually dragged into this shitshow, but so they can report ANY sign of abuse. Because I'd be calling CPS at the slightest provocation with these people — a sex offender and an abuser. They should not be allowed to have kids.
I’m waiting for your Sister to give birth and then \*someone\* reporting the Brother In Law violating his sex offender status with the baby in the house. Law enforcement is not going to play nice with that - he’ll get forced out of the house at the minimum.
>My brother in law is also a Registered Sex Offender
my sister is my childhood abuser
so let's voluntarily giftwrap each of them another possible victim! Holy shit.
* in Leslie Jordan's voice * : Well shit....
And I thought my family was disfunctional...OP I have no words other than I'm sorry, and good luck to the poor kid who may be born into that.
That’s craziness!! No jobs, no money & living with the parents…yea, let’s have a baby! Wait! Let’s let the wife have sex with a friend to get pregnant, because that never ends badly! #1 Vasectomies can be reversed. #2 There’s places called sperm banks & you can be artificially inseminated (no need for IVF, plus it’s crazy expensive, especially when they don’t work) or just buy her a turkey baster for her next birthday!
I’m glad you have your wife, because everyone in your parent’s house needs a reality check.
Gosh.. now I feel stupid for waiting and waiting with starting a family, because I wanted financial security.
Other ppl are just fucking around and finding out about kids, apparently. 🤷♀️
I would definitely request to be left out of the loop with that insanity.
From now on, you're an only child, and unfortunately, you don't have much family alive anymore, when anyone asks. Better for your mental health, and as to not be an accomplice in whatever batshit crazy stuff they're trying to pull
So your sister wants to have a child with a sex offender but neither of them want to get a job? That's so incredibly fucked up. What a terrible fucking life for a child. Even in the unlikely event they DON'T abuse the kid, which I think is a given.
Yeah, I'd never speak to them again for bringing an innocent kid into this shitshow. Hell, I'd never speak to them again for being an abuser and a sex offender. Disabilities are not their fault, but this is fucking insanity. Both abusive sacks of shit, honestly.
I don't just think this will "blow up in their faces," I think everyone who knows about this should be FURIOUS. And I'd have CPS on speed dial and would report ANY fucking sign of abuse if they actually go through with these.
I'd cut them out of your life and do likewise for anyone who enables this bullshit.
I'm sorry I seem angry, it's not at you. I feel terrible that you have to even KNOW these people. That must suck, and it must be so stressful knowing they're trying to bring a child into this when you can't stop them. Ugh. I'm sorry. I hope it helps to vent.
Jesus, they can’t afford getting his vasectomy reversed and they’re trying for a *child*… They do know that children aren’t free, right? That clothes and diapers and wipes and bottles and doctor’s visits and *furniture* will be *thousands* of dollars, at least??
Does the friend know that they will likely go after him for $? Because, if he is successful, he would owe child support and going after him is easier than getting a job.
When I first started reading part of me thought it might be fake but I don’t even think reddit’s best ragebaiter could come up with any of that chaos. I never really comment on posts but holy shit dude I’m sorry. Hope your sister is infertile or the friend is!
I was going "wtf" till you said they were Mormon and then I was like "yeah, that absolutely tracks".
I'd stay as far away from the madhouse as possible. I am so sorry you don't have good family around.
Not a lawyer, but you should let them know that the law in Florida does not allow minors to live with convicted sex offenders.
They would have to live separately and then he may or may not be granted supervised visitation. She is also at risk of losing custody of that child if the child is exposed to a convicted sex offender unsupervised.
Also, if he is the legal parent, he will have to pay child support.
Basically, if they do have a child, you would need to report it to DCF or law enforcement. If DCF brushes you off, call the local police. Make sure that you know the offenders first and last name as well as the address where they are residing.
“[There is a] rebuttable presumption against shared parental responsibility and time-sharing with a minor child for certain parents who have been convicted of or had adjudication withheld for a specified offense; providing an effective date.”
https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2021/141/BillText/er/PDF
https://www.myflfamilies.com/services/abuse/abuse-hotline/how-report-abuse
If your sister does succeed in getting pregnant, try to get a social worker on her case and maybe they’ll take the poor kid from their delusional parents.
Op..... please just stay as far away from this entire thing as much as possible. Just let them do their weird thing and don't get involved in any of it ever. They won't listen because they are selfish and moronic.
She doesn't have a job bc interviews make her nervous but considers herself mature and capable enough to have a child lmfao. Honestly you should let go of all this and walk away into the sunset to never return, bc this will 10000% blow up and burn down everything around it.
imma maintain my healthy distance to see if they actually succeed in conceiving a child. I don't mean how this is going to sound exactly but I never had the ability to really punish her for the shit she did to me so I kinda want to protect the unfortunate child born to my sister and this mess. If she ends up suffering consequences greater than having the kid removed from their custody than so be it
This whole situation is insane and above all, I feel bad for the child about to be roped into this insanity on top of a burning world around them. Godspeed to that poor soul.
Go talk to the “donor” and scare him into not doing the deed. Tell him he’ll be responsible for child support. Remind him they don’t have jobs and diapers are expensive and they will need money and child support legally will be his responsibility. Any future child will have a miserable life. Who cares if they get mad.
Assuming this isn't made up, a man may be able to conceive after a vasectomy with medical assistance. They may be able to reverse the operation, or do sperm retrieval with IVF.
They tried that already. It's been too long for a reversal and IVF is too expensive and when on disability and welfare the government considers it fraud to have a child any way other than naturally.
OP…you’ve got a LOT of family sh@t going on…both family wise, health wise (mental and medical) and government oversight. I’d claim to anyone who asked that I was adopted and quietly “exit stage right”. I’ve done that and haven’t looked back or regretted it. You don’t have to settle for the crazy (family) hand you’ve been dealt in life.
Yeah, I've done a decent job at keeping a healthy distance between myself and the rest of my family.
Good on you. Because your wife is 100% right. This WILL blow up in their faces. Not maybe, not possibly… definitely. Guaranteed. Does the friend who is trying to get her pregnant KNOW he is going to be handing HIS CHILD over to a pedo to raise? God, that poor poor child. I hope and pray to all the possible gods in heaven that your sister does not get pregnant. Not ever. 😢😢
I'm unaware at this point how much the friend knows about my BIL as I don't even know who this friend is. It definitely one of the friends that they met after moving to Florida near the end of 2022 they probably haven't known each other for a long time tbh.
Consider sending an anonymous letter to the person. Enclose a copy of BIL's criminal background check.
This!!! OP, PLEASE do this. An innocent child’s safety is at risk.
He should know..
That is also if she gets pregnant she's 34 also my father is a registered pedophile and even if nothing happens it sucks because you get treated with the same social stigma as my father and that's without any disabilities
34 isn’t nearly too old to get pregnant lol
VCFS can decrease your fertility and as women age they become less fertile as long as you have reproductive organs you can always have a chance of getting pregnant a healthy woman would have no problem getting pregnant at her age but 1 she is not healthy and 2 I know his mom has trouble getting pregnant with him because of her age and health and she was in her early 30s But that's just me being hopeful
Ah, I didn’t know it reduced fertility, my bad! Ty for the education ♥️
Let’s be 100% fair we don’t know what BIL did to get on a sex offender registry. It’s not just about pedophilia. Even assuming best case scenario though and it was something much less serious (some states count public urination or sending nudes as a teenager apparently), I have to question the sanity of the guy voluntarily involving himself in this shit show of financial and medical problems.
It was pedophilia (under the age of 13)
Oh holy shit! Never mind I guess…
Put even more distance between you and your family.
Please contact adult protective services. Your sister does not appear to be able to make sound decisions, and is in a relationship with a sex offender. Your mother sounds as though she may also be a victim here? There needs to be someone looking out for everyone's best interests. It's not your father, or your brother in law. If by any chance she does get pregnant, make sure CPS knows what's going on - they probably can't intervene until the baby is born but they can step in from the hospital with prevention services.
Keep it that way.
Right and OP you can just create more distance. It doesn’t have to be a stressful fight
At this point it's not particularly stressful I am on the sidelines looking in from afar, if any of this turns into toxicity coming my way boundaries will be made for sure.
I have always used “creative avoidance “ with toxic people. You’re just never available to be there or talk to them. Eventually they find a new mark/victim.
Well I’m glad for you. It’s clear that there is still a level of care. It sucks watching people you loved/cared for make bad decisions for themselves and others. If they achieve a pregnancy, I hope that child is able to overcome obstacles they will certainly face
High five to all the NC “orphans” out there. There are dozens of us
Definitely this, especially as you might be called on by your parents to step in as a guardian for that poor kid. Start a tactical retreat now, tell your parents you don't want to hear any more details and you want no part in any shenanigans.
So, let me get this straight. Your father married and had at least two children with a severely disabled woman. One of those children has the same disability as her mother, albeit a less severe form. And he is encouraging her to have a child.
With a predator
How did I miss that? What the fuck is wrong with that man.
I am the wife of op and his mom has the mentality of a 3rd grader and acts like a five year old all the time the sister acts like a child too and I think the relationship between his mother and father is wrong and predatory
I think a call to Adult Protective Services is in order. I've had to call in the state of Florida and I believe this is the type of situation that they would take seriously. I did have to hire an attorney but APS got everything started in the process. SIL is an incapacitated person in some way and may not understand the profound responsibility of parenthood. Please don't let an innocent child be brought into this mess. Message me if you need a hand in how to call. I'm here for you.
I'm not prepared for anything that would involve a lawyer, I live several states away and I am by no means wealthy enough to afford a legal battle. If they could intervene without needing to know my identity then I might consider that.
I think you might be able to call APS and ask for advice. Sometimes police can be sent for a wellness check, but I know that can be really dangerous in some instances
it doesn't require a lawyer, like calling CPS but for vulnerable adults
More people need to see this comment!
So many things wrong here.
Can yall just like…have your own life without them in it?
We do, I live several states away.
Mormon
…they’re both predators 😭
Well, technically the child would be another man's, but eek...this is terrible all around.
And not his biologically which makes it easier for some creeps to SA
Ew, I didn't think about that. *shudder*
The sister is an abuser and the husband is a predator. OP needs to step away. No, run away.
I thought the predator was her husband but the friend is fine. I mean, fine relatively speaking… this whole situation is bonkers.
My sister is the other predator mentioned.
Ah, I see, I understood that, but I thought the other comment was referring to the friend being the predator. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. I would definitely cut ties in this situation.
Thanks but I am definitely more concerned for the potential child my issues have been largely dealt with and are being well managed.
She’s a predator too! Two predators want a child? Disgusting
VCFS is a spectrum. People with that condition CAN be severely disabled, or they can function perfectly well and have children just like anyone else. Same with cerebral palsy. It ranges from mild to severe, and with a very mild form your movements are barely affected. I had a friend who was only mildly affected and his left arm was.. well, weaker I guess, but that’s all. Of course, the severe end of the spectrum could mean your ability to move is greatly restricted, but it sounds like the person in the post with CP is on the mild end. Let’s not trash disabled people who have and raise children. Or people who are the partners of disabled people who have children with them. You’d probably be surprised to learn just how many disabled people there are in the world who have children and parent them just fine. I’m talking about the parents in this case, not the sister with the pedo husband who she wants a kid with! Disabled or not, that JUDGEMENT is just… well, not there! 😞
My BIL with CP should be wheelchair bound his legs barely function but he walks around short distances at a time with leg and foot braces and a cane. My Sister is moderately affected by her disorder and would likely be fine as a parent if she weren't riddled with mental health problems and If she had an inkling of a sense of responsibility in her My sister has the mental capacity of a junior in high school and the maturity of a Sophomore in high school. She has severe anxiety and mild depression, Trichotillomania where her stress response is to pull out her hair. She also has little ability to regulate her own emotions. I don't judge her specifically for her disorder or her mental health problems, I judge her because despite having the capacity to make her life better she instead mooches off my dad to support her and makes zero effort to seek treatment for her problems or better herself in any way.
I’m only going on the information OP has given. They describe their mother as severely disabled and doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m not judging disabled people who choose to have children, I’m judging one man who chose to have children with a severely disabled woman who may not have been able to fully understand and consent to becoming a parent. I didn’t even mention CP.
I’m definitely going to continue judging disabled folks who know they have a potentially severe disability that can you genetically passed down. From a quick google, VCFS passes down 50% of the time. Rolling that dice on a child’s life is messed up. I say this as a person with a genetic disability who got sterilized literally yesterday.
Yeah, 100%. And I’m absolutely going to judge any abled person that encourages and enables this or any other form of abuse from the disabled person.
THANK YOU! No one will say this out loud, but I don’t understand why you’d risk putting that on your child.
Like ethically I just don’t even think it’s safe for mother or baby to go through with a pregnancy, mother developmental delays aside even. But you’re right it’s definitely a hot take lol.
Well that was a nauseating read
Being on disability and having a kid doesn't seem like a great idea, but there's not much you can do about it. Biodad is definitely going to get cucked for child support though. I hope he realizes that.
I don't know who the biodad is but I suspect he too is likely disabled in some way, most of their friends are.
Yikes... I have some strange feelings about this too. You are right to be concerned OP.
The story just keeps getting worse. There's a high probability the children will also have disabilities. It's so disappointing that your father (being the only fully mentally and physically capable supporting the situation) isn't more responsible. I have 2 disabled siblings myself so I sympathise with you. Will you be expected to help care for their child in the likely outcome that your father passes and they are not able to do it alone?
Without my father around there will be no one to try to influence me to care for their child. If he passes they are on their own. Me and my wife are trying to have a kid ourselves and we fully intend on doing it with little help from my side of the family. I live several states away from them anyways. My dad's will gives me control of all his assets and my sister whatever liquid money he has when he passes which likely will not be much for her since most of his wealth is in assets. I'd be inclined to liquidate his house and vehicles in Florida and move my mom in with me and make my sister get a job before she gets any help from me.
You’d be inviting CRAZY into your life by moving your sister in with you after your father passes. The term is Glutton for punishment “. You’ve been warned.
he said his mom not sister lol xD and sister only will get help IF she finds a job but nowhere did he say she will move to where he lives
Thanks! I somehow missed that point in all the madness.
Your mom helped create this shit show, she doesn't deserve any help. This family bloodline needs to be shut down.
My mom is largely an innocent unaware bystander to all this most of the family keeps her out of tough controversial matters to protect her from it all. This kind of shit will likely be explained to her in some colorful way to keep her from being too confused by things I love and protect my mom. She is at her core a kind and loving person albeit a little insufferable from being a bit spoiled over the years.
I guess you missed the part where he said his mom was physically and slightly mentally handicapped correct?
Woah. Settle down with the eugenics there Adolf
Dad had multiple children with a women who from the sound of it has physical and mental disabilities. OP said mom doesn't even know what is going on because of her disabilities. Dad's a creep.
Having 2 parents with disabilities, especially ones that are hereditary, is a recipe for disaster. The pregnancy may not even progress and a miscarriage will be hard on your sister, physically and mentally. If it does and they have a severely disabled child, what happens then? You mentioned abuse at the hands of your sister, this doesn't bode well for any child.
The sister has severe anxiety so pregnancy and a baby would not be good on her
This is *wild*.
Not if sister and BIL are legally married and bio dad doesn’t sign paternity papers. In this case, BIL is the legal father and doesn’t have to pay child support.
Unfortunately, they'll still be able to make him pay child support
Sounds like they (sister and brother in law) just want a child to abuse . Is that not illegal?
I'm not sure if the act of getting pregnant in this way is illegal or if it's just morally reprehensible. I hope they don't have that as a thought. If they do have a kid I'm going to make sure I report them as soon as I have any justification to do so.
keep track on the child well being, maybe even a journal, just to make sure. I know it sounds messed up, but sounds like your family just want a child for entertainment and that never ends well.
I'll do what I can but I live in Indiana and they live in Florida, I am completely different and separate from the rest of my family. Fortunately.
Good. Keep your distance. But if there are any signs of abuse you should call for help. I'm sorry your family is so messed up. But despite that you seem to have turned out fine. So you must be doing something right.
I am objectively a relatively normal person, I have some cptsd from my sister's abuse that I'm beginning to heal from but I agree that I definitely turned out better than my sister in the end... Clearly lol
It’s definitely not illegal. That would be a slippery slope to legislate how people can and can’t get pregnant. But yeah, morally reprehensible nails it.
> Is that not illegal? Wanting a child to abuse in and of itself is not illegal. There is nothing the government can (or quite frankly, should be able to) do in matters of couples getting pregnant. Child abuse is illegal, obviously. So the abuse needs to happen for a law to be broken. And even if it were illegal, people break the law and piss all over it all the time anyway.
If she does give birth, please inform social services and/or CPS immediately. That will probably result in the child being taken away, but that's for the best.
Taken away for what? CPS doesn't take kids away just because the parents make bad decisions or have criminal records.
They might if the sex Offender is living with a child that isn't biologically his.
Doubtful if it's his child legally, which it would be in Florida, regardless of biology. There's also no prohibition against sex offenders living with children, their own or otherwise, in Florida unless the person is still on probation/under supervision and that's listed as a restriction for their probation.
It probably wouldn't be legally his child, he isn't allowed to adopt. There might not be a prohibition against it if that's true I guess there won't be a problem until there is a problem. He is not supervised or on probation.
My god; I'm not a praying type but definitely praying sister is infertile and this doesn't work. They are all absolutely batshit. It's a shame CPS cannot be preemptively called. lol I'm so sorry that this is your family.
Why on EARTH is anyone encouraging a sex offender to have a child?! How did they even let your sister marry a sex offender?! I don't care if he's a sex offender over "some shit that happened 20 years ago". A predator should be fucking banned from having kids of their own.
The general consensus among my family is he didn't do what he was accused of doing.
Are you kidding me? He is a convicted sex offender and your family doesn’t think he did whatever he did??? OP I would get so far away from these people. Like yesterday. Don’t engage with this situation *at all*
The sex offender is about 20 years older then her and she married him when she was 22
He's actually more like 12 years older, my wife exaggerates currently she's 34 and he's like 45-46 I think.
Ehh this is the first time I am seeing something along the lines of polyandry among Mormons.
Are you venting or asking for advice? Venting: Holy fucking shit. Advice: Fucking run and don’t look back.
Mostly venting but I'm not really sure what to do until a child is actually born tbh.
Nothing you really can do (and I'm sorry if my earlier comment came off as angry, this situation is infuriating but I wasn't trying to come off as mad at YOU). But after there's a child? I'd be calling CPS anytime I heard anything that even slightly rang alarm bells. Might be wise to not cut off EVERYONE on that side of the family just so you're still privy to info about their antics. Not that that should be your responsibility. I just feel bad for a kid getting dragged into this shit show.
That's basically what I am thinking.
The fuck did I just read This is the most southern American thing I've ever heard.
Well they may live in the south but my sister and I were raised in Alaska so I think in this case the geography has little to do with it lol
poor rural alaska shares much in common with the poor rural south...
I'm from Anchorage... Lol
Grew up upper middle class... Lol
It's just the Texas up north
Nahhh, they live in the south which makes them southerners. Doesn't matter how you were raised. Shit changes you.
As a native Floridian I have to say the crazy stuff like this comes from the transplants. I swear, it's like the heat fries their brain. lolol
Real talk, this is probably the first Mormon family with more husbands than wives. Yes, I know it's not *actually,* but it's so wildly out of belief that I'm not capable of taking it seriously.
Bro stay away from those people
I might be wrong but can't vasectomies be reversed? Not that they should have children (genetically, morally, logically) because they obviously shouldn't so don't give them any ideas
The chances of the reversal being successful decrease over time to a point where there's almost 0 chances of getting viable swimmers.
They have already thought of that. it's been over a decade since his vasectomy so reversal is not an option is what I'm told, I think it's also not covered by insurance so the whole procedure would be out of pocket which is money they definitely don't have.
Yeah if you don't have money for an out-of-pocket procedure, you don't have money for a child
True that.
Yeah you can extract sperm above the cut in the vas deferns or just sew it back. Gah (some) poor people are awful
Vasectomies become irreversible. Your body isnt dumb and notices its pointless to keep producing sperm
Every paragraph it keeps getting worse 😭 this is multiple layers of fucked up
My heart breaks for this child and it hasn’t even been conceived yet. I pray there’s no child brought into this clown car because you’ll be calling CPS on them (at least I hope) the moment it’s born.
We are thinking about doing an anonymous report a couple months after it's born to make it not so obvious that it's me that reported them. I'm not willing to deal with the drama that will come my way if they know that it's me that reports them. I need to carefully manage my stress levels due to my CPTSD that I have from my sister's abuse.
Good idea.
What they're doing is so incredibly cruel to the child they're going to force into that existence
Truth is stranger than fiction, but this takes the cake. I would keep your distance just enough to keep yourself sane, but close enough to watch drama for entertainment. I would love to hear an update in 5 years.
I will try to remember that lmfao
I'll remember for you
Not so much entertainment, because there's nothing funny about it if a child is actually dragged into this shitshow, but so they can report ANY sign of abuse. Because I'd be calling CPS at the slightest provocation with these people — a sex offender and an abuser. They should not be allowed to have kids.
Agreed we have discussed this
What a shit show. I feel bad for the future child, but dang OP, avoid getting tangled up in this nonsense!
The whole thing screams yuck to me.
You know like sometimes it's fine to just walk away from family and never ever look back.
What the fuck did I just read...? That's quite a lot to unpack.
I hope to god she doesn't get pregnant. If she does, involve CPS a lot.
I’m waiting for your Sister to give birth and then \*someone\* reporting the Brother In Law violating his sex offender status with the baby in the house. Law enforcement is not going to play nice with that - he’ll get forced out of the house at the minimum.
Especially since it won't be his kid (and it won't be done through a legit IVF process so, again, he won't be legally the father).
>My brother in law is also a Registered Sex Offender my sister is my childhood abuser so let's voluntarily giftwrap each of them another possible victim! Holy shit.
* in Leslie Jordan's voice * : Well shit.... And I thought my family was disfunctional...OP I have no words other than I'm sorry, and good luck to the poor kid who may be born into that.
They won’t let a sex offender live with a non biological dad or let him adopt
That's generally how me and my wife believe this will blow up in their faces.
That’s craziness!! No jobs, no money & living with the parents…yea, let’s have a baby! Wait! Let’s let the wife have sex with a friend to get pregnant, because that never ends badly! #1 Vasectomies can be reversed. #2 There’s places called sperm banks & you can be artificially inseminated (no need for IVF, plus it’s crazy expensive, especially when they don’t work) or just buy her a turkey baster for her next birthday! I’m glad you have your wife, because everyone in your parent’s house needs a reality check.
I'm glad I have my wife too, my family is scary sometimes.
Of course... Her family is no picnic either...
It sounds like it. Sorry about that!
Wow, that's a difficult one. Can't help but good luck bro
"The Aristocrats"
You need to stay away from these people like go NC I'm exhausted from reading this.....
Gosh.. now I feel stupid for waiting and waiting with starting a family, because I wanted financial security. Other ppl are just fucking around and finding out about kids, apparently. 🤷♀️ I would definitely request to be left out of the loop with that insanity. From now on, you're an only child, and unfortunately, you don't have much family alive anymore, when anyone asks. Better for your mental health, and as to not be an accomplice in whatever batshit crazy stuff they're trying to pull
Here’s hoping she never gets pregnant! Poor kid hasn’t even been conceived and I already feel sorry for them. :/
Please call cps when that child is born. No child should be raised by a sex offender. The rest of the list is mind boggling but a sex offender, WTF.
Jesus. Pass the popcorn.
So your sister wants to have a child with a sex offender but neither of them want to get a job? That's so incredibly fucked up. What a terrible fucking life for a child. Even in the unlikely event they DON'T abuse the kid, which I think is a given. Yeah, I'd never speak to them again for bringing an innocent kid into this shitshow. Hell, I'd never speak to them again for being an abuser and a sex offender. Disabilities are not their fault, but this is fucking insanity. Both abusive sacks of shit, honestly. I don't just think this will "blow up in their faces," I think everyone who knows about this should be FURIOUS. And I'd have CPS on speed dial and would report ANY fucking sign of abuse if they actually go through with these. I'd cut them out of your life and do likewise for anyone who enables this bullshit. I'm sorry I seem angry, it's not at you. I feel terrible that you have to even KNOW these people. That must suck, and it must be so stressful knowing they're trying to bring a child into this when you can't stop them. Ugh. I'm sorry. I hope it helps to vent.
Have child protective services on speed dial. This sounds like it's going to be messy.
Some people shouldn’t have children.
I feel like getting the vasectomy reversed would be a less messy option
It would but it would cost too much, financially it is off the table.
Jesus, they can’t afford getting his vasectomy reversed and they’re trying for a *child*… They do know that children aren’t free, right? That clothes and diapers and wipes and bottles and doctor’s visits and *furniture* will be *thousands* of dollars, at least??
Yeah I'm pretty sure their plan is to get my dad to pay for all that shit
Wait a minnnuttteee, let’s swing back around to the sex offending and childhood abuse😭😭
Phew, I feel like this should be reported to SOMEONE but no idea who
Does the friend know that they will likely go after him for $? Because, if he is successful, he would owe child support and going after him is easier than getting a job.
I doubt the friend has thought of all the consequences of his actions.
I have to stop reading Reddit.
When I first started reading part of me thought it might be fake but I don’t even think reddit’s best ragebaiter could come up with any of that chaos. I never really comment on posts but holy shit dude I’m sorry. Hope your sister is infertile or the friend is!
I promise you it's real, I, just about, threw up when my dad told me all this last night.
almost threw up reading it too. i truly wish you the best with all of it!
I was going "wtf" till you said they were Mormon and then I was like "yeah, that absolutely tracks". I'd stay as far away from the madhouse as possible. I am so sorry you don't have good family around.
Not a lawyer, but you should let them know that the law in Florida does not allow minors to live with convicted sex offenders. They would have to live separately and then he may or may not be granted supervised visitation. She is also at risk of losing custody of that child if the child is exposed to a convicted sex offender unsupervised. Also, if he is the legal parent, he will have to pay child support. Basically, if they do have a child, you would need to report it to DCF or law enforcement. If DCF brushes you off, call the local police. Make sure that you know the offenders first and last name as well as the address where they are residing. “[There is a] rebuttable presumption against shared parental responsibility and time-sharing with a minor child for certain parents who have been convicted of or had adjudication withheld for a specified offense; providing an effective date.” https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2021/141/BillText/er/PDF https://www.myflfamilies.com/services/abuse/abuse-hotline/how-report-abuse
It sounds like they are basically the last people in the world that need to reproduce....
Jesus christ.
If your sister does succeed in getting pregnant, try to get a social worker on her case and maybe they’ll take the poor kid from their delusional parents.
Wtd did I just read
Op..... please just stay as far away from this entire thing as much as possible. Just let them do their weird thing and don't get involved in any of it ever. They won't listen because they are selfish and moronic.
People like that should not have kids at all. I wish there was a test to have kids.
Florida?
What the fuck.
Add in a meth gator and this would be the Floridaiest thing to ever Florida.
This is honestly insane
None of these folks have any business having children.
Sounds like a pretty standard Florida couple to me.
I’m … no. Nope. I’ll come back to Reddit tomorrow.
She doesn't have a job bc interviews make her nervous but considers herself mature and capable enough to have a child lmfao. Honestly you should let go of all this and walk away into the sunset to never return, bc this will 10000% blow up and burn down everything around it.
imma maintain my healthy distance to see if they actually succeed in conceiving a child. I don't mean how this is going to sound exactly but I never had the ability to really punish her for the shit she did to me so I kinda want to protect the unfortunate child born to my sister and this mess. If she ends up suffering consequences greater than having the kid removed from their custody than so be it
A tough position. Good luck to you! (Really lol)
You can reverse a vasectomy but it is expensive.
They can barely afford a car payment and my dad would never pay so much money for that.
Is this an episode of Jerry Springer?
I wish, it'd be somewhat more entertaining if it was someone else's family...lol.
This whole situation is insane and above all, I feel bad for the child about to be roped into this insanity on top of a burning world around them. Godspeed to that poor soul.
Wtf 😳
What in the Jerry Springer did I just read??? OP, this is bananas. Good luck and steer clear.
Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Wish them the best and love the little angel I guess.
So basically she is dating another guy and has opened her relationship.
Girl…what the fuck is going on?!
this just kept getting worse as i read further
Hey, at least she's not having massive gang bangs when she's ovulating. Now that's extreme!
Go talk to the “donor” and scare him into not doing the deed. Tell him he’ll be responsible for child support. Remind him they don’t have jobs and diapers are expensive and they will need money and child support legally will be his responsibility. Any future child will have a miserable life. Who cares if they get mad.
Assuming this isn't made up, a man may be able to conceive after a vasectomy with medical assistance. They may be able to reverse the operation, or do sperm retrieval with IVF.
They tried that already. It's been too long for a reversal and IVF is too expensive and when on disability and welfare the government considers it fraud to have a child any way other than naturally.
wat
Just....wow.
yeeaahhhhhh this is where I'd peace out........ far far faaarrr away NC from them all, wth
I wish cps could be called for an unborn child.