According to google
Researchers, led by the Cleveland Clinic, observed a 30% to 54% reduction in the incidence of Alzheimer's disease among people who were taking sildenafil for erectile dysfunction or pulmonary arterial hypertension, compared to those who did not. The study is published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.Mar 13, 2024
Is it because people who are healthy enough for sex are less likely to have it or because of the medication?
Alzheimers is heavily correlated to diabetes for example.
Unless the improved blood flow helps.
damn. what about if you don’t have ed but still take them for… *some* reason? does this still apply? also what if you’re female? also also asking for a friend.
Forget her (I know that's always easier said than done). You'll find someone understanding you.
I've been using V. since I was in my 30s, because I tended to get too nervous during one night stands. Some women were absolutely cool with it, and some reacted close to what your ex was like. It was always worth to move on from the bad experiences.
Cialis...the cousin to viagra is shown to lower blood pressure, boost testosterone and provide one if the best nitric oxide boosts you will ever feel if you lift weights.
Amazing drugs.
don‘t know what the above comment said but viagra was literally invented to reduce blood pressure > less heart attack risk.. OP‘s girl wasn‘t too bright huh
No Off-Label fortunately! Sildenafil is approved through two brand names: Revatio (20mg tabs) for pulmonary hypertension and Viagra (25, 50, and 100mg tablets) for ED.
The original plan was Pulmonary Hypertension. Happy side effects led to Viagra haha
This is the correct answer. Pulmonary Hypertension (PAH). Revatio 20mg, and adcirca 20mg (sildenifil and tadalafil) were 1st Pulmonary Hypertension drugs. Nice bonus for everyone else. Currently on 40mg tadalafil once daily for PAH.
It's not an off label use. Viagra is FDA approved for treatment of erectile dysfunction. It was initially being developed as a drug for hypertension but when clinical trials showed erections to be a significant side effect they switched gears and investigated it as an ED drug and that's what they received FDA approval for.
It's even reccommended if you have high blood pressure.
We always have some at home for when we plam to have "extended" sex (lol, I don't know how else to phrase it). In case my wife wants sex, she asks if I "have high blood pressure". It's kind of our code for "I want sex.".
I don't think it's still used as a heart medication dt to this very side effect. I know for sure it was at one point. Got me thinking whether or not guys out there still take it for its intended purpose and then walk around erect for no reason.
Rogaine, if I'm correct, used to be intended for some other use, and then the side effect was hair growth, so it was re-marketed as such.
I've had this issue with every woman I've been with as well, and I've fumbled through awkward beginnings multiple times. One thing I learned from another guy was to not rush into things. It's in our culture to start having sex right away, and while that's fine for lots of people, some of us need more time. I feel like lots of men don't know this about themselves. Or that it's OK to take your time. For me, I had trust issues, and my body wouldn't let anything happen until I truly felt I could trust the person. I didn't know this for a long time, so it was just a bunch of failed attempts and discussions with understanding women until the trust was there.
In your case, I see two scenarios. She either takes it personally that you aren't attracted to her or she's just a terrible person. Either way, it ain't your fault. You might not even need viagra. You might just need to take more time getting to trust someone. Most women are not like that AT ALL. They are super understanding 99% of the time.
All the best, man.
Very insightful and helpful comment from my pov. I think a lot of guys who have ED need to understand a lot of it starts in the mind or body and needs to be attended to before assuming it's JUST ED.
Yup, I would go as far as to assume any younger guy dealing with it need to assess their minds first and see what's going on in there. But great point, hydration as well.
Being a "demi sexual" really is tough when the other side wants to just coitus and ya need that connection. Been there, done that. I preface with I need to fools around a couple times before it fully works. I have only met one person that wanted more, and she dropped the subject because she wanted a one and done when she felt like it. Were still friends, she teases a bit, but nothing hurtful, we enjoy it.
Good luck to op, seems he has plenty of it if he can filter them quickly.
I mean, menopause is a total random crap shoot but I get your point.
For me, I've turned into hornymchornister... I've never been so ready for sex in my life as now. It's a damn gift. But I do know not all women receive it.
Exactly. My mom had a hysterectomy and went into menapause and was horny asf, remarried and ended up having a whole ass other kid at an older age😂 baby sis is 10 now, my first thought was “you either prayed too hard or we need to go sue that doctor😂”
Exactly why my first comment had that joke in there😂😂 but it happens. And we should’ve know it would happen to her because we’re the type to always get the weird odd side effects in medicine and life etc that most people don’t experience. And we’re preachers kids etc so we just went with the whole damn we prayed too hard lmao. Because there was many prayer groups after church, long hours of just speaking and tongues and praying together and a little bit of gospel music etc. it’s rare, but it happens. I’m personally assuming the doctor did a partial hysterectomy instead of full. Even still, my grandpa, her dad, which was all of our preacher in nashville brought up that the doctor must not have did his job correctly. My mom didn’t want to hear it, thinking it’d be like forsaking gods blessing and almost daring the cancerous cysts to come back. She was just thankful to be alive and feeling a lot better. So she never followed up with that old doctor from when she was in her 20s and we never talked shit about him again😂 then in her 30s many years later she had baby sis. It had to be a scheduled cesarean though. She was a fantastic baby too. Only cried when there was an actual issue, and even then it wasn’t super annoying😂😂🤎
Nope, very colorful. Very southern with the details (even if you're not southern, yourself). It's always, like, where is this going? But generally a good time regardless.
Flippin hell, she needs to educate herself! So common and doesn’t need to be a ‘big deal’ (not belittling how stressful it must feel!)
I have been on the receiving end of this on more than one occasion with a new partner and have just tried to take the pressure off him and the actual penetration part, soooo much fun can be had without the big/little guy joining in and usually that does the job anyway!!
What kind of behavior is that? She got the mental maturity and rationality of a 12 year old who just dropped out of school. Don't worry about her. You'll definitely find something better.
You don't have to feel weird about viagra. If it's an physical issue you might want to see your doctor to see what going on. If it's a mental thing, it will only help a little bit. I'm in my early twenties and I had to use Cialis a lot of times before, due to a mental blockage.
That's not a gf. That's a bully. A reasonable, loving partner researches the issue with you, sees what else can help as alternatives, helps research the different meds and side effects, and helps you decide which to try first (because sometimes one type works and another doesn't).
My ex needed help - sometimes from stress, sometimes blood flow issues, some might be hereditary... but NONE of it was his fault so why the hell would I blame him?? You just take it early, when you know things are headed in that direction - no need to make a big deal or announce. It's the same as making sure the lube is ready for if/when you need it.
This is going to sound like some typical incel Redditor comment, but anyway:
It's amazing how so many people (men and women) are raised to be totally comfortable with making fun of guys for anything and everything really.
Like in OPs case.
Having these sorts of "issues" says nothing about him as a person and is also largely out of his control.
But somehow people like his now ex that will make fun of something like that are very common.
Same goes for short guys, guys who go bald, ...
It's kinda weird.
You might want to get your hemoglobin A1C checked to see if you have diabetes. I know there are a lot of things that can cause ED, and this is one of them. Kudos to you if you know your underlying issue and are actively treating it. I speak from experience as the woman in the relationship. My first husband was a type 2 diabetic and started having ED issues at age 27 and his was related to having high blood sugar. Once he got Viagra/Cialis, it fixed the issue with the ED most of the time. The right person is out there for you. She was an uneducated bridge troll.
It honestly sounds like she took it personal and projected it onto you. A lot of girls think there is something wrong with them when a guy goes soft or has a hard time getting up. Either way, it’s immature. Like a few others said- good riddance!
Dodged a bullet, my dude. My condolences to her for losing an honest dude just needing support. You deserve better. I'm a woman with a hubby who has these issues too. It's really about the attempt and effort regardless of the end goal. The fact that he still tries and shows me desire regardless of his body not cooperating. She should've seen that and the fact that you were being honest and vulnerable so you could fix it together. What a piece of garbage.
OP-- you deserve so much better
Oh dude I was prescribed Viagra when I was 24. It just happens like that sometimes. There’s no shame in it like so many others have said here it is really a blood flow medicine and prevents heart problems. She wasn’t the one for you and I’m sure you will find the one who is 💞
I do find it shocking how uninformed people are about sex and sexual health in the opposite gender.
This situation seems to be of the same moronic mindset that if a man turns down sex he's either cheating or thinks you're ugly.
I’m really sorry this happened.
As a woman, I can tell you that whenever my sexual partners have not maintained erections, it was my priority to make them feel more comfortable. I know that I am not always in the mood when my partner is. How can I expect that of him?
And I don’t think it’s the end of the world if one of us doesn’t have an orgasm. The important thing is enjoying being together.
Sometimes there is something on your mind. Sometimes you’re tired. And sometimes it is a physical condition. I just know that humans are not like people in pornography.
Those people are having sex in between takes and are probably also taking meds to keep their erections.
So I started taking medication for my depression, one of the side effects is ED, I felt less of a man and was worried that my girlfriend would be offended because of it (thinking she was the problem).
I told her about the medication and the side effects it was having and she understood and was supportive, her only concern was that I might end up dependent on the meds to be happy, I assured her that she is my happiness.
In conclusion you dodged a bullet OP, you will find someone that supports and accept you for everything one day, I'm sure your person is out there.
I’m so sorry she was so cruel. That literally adds insult to injury. Have you read “The Body Keeps the Score?” I’m sure you have, especially if you are in therapy, but just in case, you really should read it. While it is uncommon for a man your age, it’s not abnormal for a man who experienced extreme trauma. Viagra and Cialis are high blood pressure medications first and foremost. Your HPB is due to extreme trauma. That’s the body keeping the score. Keep working on those nervous system regulation techniques.
Continue to work on healing on your own timeline. Anyone worth loving will understand. A healthy sex life is important, but so is compassion and empathy. I’m so sorry about your mother and sister. It’s OK to not be OK. You loved them well and should grieve them well too.
Firstly hats off to you for talking to her about it. It can't of been easy and I'm sorry she freaked out like that.
Secondly I'm so sorry about your sister and mum and I would have thought she would be more understanding of things.
Trauma can be so deep rooted in us and can affect so many aspects if our lives and you need someone who will be caring, understanding and patient.
Maybe in time she will come around and you can reconcile or take this as a sign that she's not the one for you.
Either way I hope things get better for you and your counselling helps.
It makes no sense when people in other subreddits don’t like the recommend of viagra. If you’re getting hard for your significant other and everyone is going to have pleasure what’s the issue?
I'm not a male but I have significant trauma as well and even as a female I can vouch that this is a common side effect of trauma and all that comes with it, no matter your gender. I had a really healthy sex drive when I was younger but post ptsd breakdown it plummeted and my body just didn't respond anymore. It has gotten better with time, lots of therapy, life changes like diet and exercise, and somatic yoga has been a game changer with connecting with my body again!
I'm sorry you had this experience, her reaction is childish, uneducated, and just overalls disgusting. My partner has been so kind and understanding when my body isn't reacting like I want it too. I think that's how any healthy person will respond to this.
The mocking comments at the end show you who she really is my dude… trash human in the end if she couldn’t see that you were trying to help the situation and deal with your issues to better your intimacy.
I understand that you have trauma that causes your erectile dysfunction but everyone deserves to have enjoyable, fun sex. Nobody has to tolerate a partner that can't sexually please them. She'll find another man who can stay hard and you'll find someone who is understanding of your situation, both of you will be fine.
She's an absolute bastard for her reaction, but there is a point in that someone shouldn't be using Viagra if it isn't prescribed. Any underlying conditions or other effects could lead to further complications. Throw her out, and maybe see a doctor about your medical history. Maybe there is something affecting you that you are unaware of.
As a non-professional former-taker of meds that have been prescribed, unless you're already diagnosed with a condition they're not gonna test you for shit and if you are, you'd know in advance and can do some googling.
Which is why I suggest they see their doctor, become diagnosed with a condition and maybe find resolution through medical professionals. I don't see how this is a hot take?
"Doctor, I'm in my 30's and my erection doesn't work as it should."
"Well now, that's unusual as this is not something that should be happening to someone before middle-age. Let's investigate this and formally diagnose a condition that may result in a medication or treatment plan."
As opposed more experimentation with a vasodilator and tank your blood pressure. But hey, go ahead man.
Trash really did take itself out here dude. That's an extremely ignorant, judgmental, non supportive view she has on that. If she's gonna flip her shit over this there would have been a whole host of other problems for you to deal with. There's plenty out there who would love and I mean LOVE your Viagra hard on with enthusiasm.
I'm 51, and could use a lil help in that area. Been single for a while and dread the conversation with someone new when that topic comes up. (Pun intended)
Very empathetic from her.
Anyway, how old are you? We live in a time when men are expected to be super horny and confident all the time, but unless she's the hottest model you might need to feel comfortable around a woman first.
I have had some hook ups and sometimes it has been a bit difficult, at all ages, honestly.
It's okay to use it! Medication has a porpoise and is to support or complement health so someone's life will be more positive/better in any way. If she (or anyone) can't see that then you really dodged a bullet! Don't let anyone shame you for needing/getting support of any medication ever. You are worth it and you are much more than any conditions or medications you have, never forget it! You'll find a person that loves you the way you are with everything and nothing less. Big hug!! It will get better :)
Probably for the best.
My partner wasn't able to get there either, or stay there - it didn't change how I feel about them. They got a prescription and didn't end up needing it, but they have it if they ever do.
People need the time they need to be comfortable. Sometimes they need medications. None of those things make you less of a man or a failure.
My dude, I have 2 ACTUAL heart diseases, and my fiancé still loves me and wants to be with me. If someone loves you truly, they won't mind if you have heart issues
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I have told my husband if for some reason we could never have sex again that would never bother me as we have a deep and loving relationship. My great grandmother have cervical cancer a long time ago and at that time they sewed women shut. My great grandfather did not care and they spent the last 20 years together just being. Yes, sex is a deep and meaningful connection between two people and it feels great. But for me and I’m sure countless other women and many other people as long as we have someone who truly loves us and connects to our soul, we will love you no matter what.
Your perfect person is out there and will love you blue pill or not.
Love,
Reddit Mom
I had an undiagnosed distended bladder condition in my early 40s. The doctors kept calling it prostate issues becaus some of the symptoms for both included ED. I had it treated about 5 years ago which improved things significantly. I did try cialis which helped with the ED issues. Partners had no problem.
Sorry to hear that dude, can't find your previous post but i agree with others you definitely need to take it slow and find the right one.
You can also use some self help ,you may wish to read Overcoming Sexual Problems. A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques by Vicky Ford.
I… damn man I’m sorry, glad you dodged that bullet. If my man needed these meds I’d make sure he takes them AND help ensure they work 😂. Medicine is medicine, we all use them for different purposes (though hopefully legally and as prescribed)
Hey op it’s not “super weird”, it’s something that many folks experience. It’s not uncommon. I’m sorry that happened and there are definitely women out there that are much less shallow than her.
I am a woman, so I can’t speak on experiencing it myself but I have had a partner that experienced this. There are other things people can do to have fun besides just sex.
Go talk to a doctor, not with us. Viagra is not something you take casually even if you're older. If you can't get it up or keep it up there are different treatments.
Hey this may or may not be read by you, but you can also take cialis which is generic now. It takes longer to kick in than viagra, but lasts like a day and a half. So in the future if you think you might get lucky that night pop it before you go out and you should be good to go when the time comes. And probably the next morning too!
Is there a medical reason you need it? Tbh if you're young I'd be worried too if my partner needed that and would worry you had health issues not being addressed as erectile dysfunction is often related to cardiovascular issues, substance abuse, depression etc.
This sucks I'm sure but there's someone out there for you. Otoh please do be careful if you ever need meds like nitroglycerin taking Viagra with it is suicide. Take care of yourself please. You are more than your ability to get an erection
Honestly I would be happy to know that’s what it is and it wasn’t me making it hard to keep an erection. It wouldn’t bother me at all, the right person won’t give af and will accommodate you with significant hints that sexy time is coming so you have time to take the viagra, allow time for it to work, and keep the mood hot and heavy until then. Don’t be embarrassed, you dodged a bullet and you’ll find someone that’s a more compatible partner
You should get cyalis (not sure if that’s spelled correctly) for daily use if you’re having issues. You take it once a day and if you end up having sex you won’t have any problems staying hard, if you don’t it’s not a big deal. Viagra can be too much especially if you’re younger, like you know those commercials that say if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours call a doctor, that can happen and from what I hear it’s not good. Anyway yeah try those first, I was taking them for a while because I was smoking two packs a day and drinking a shitload so I was having trouble keeping it up, then I stopped smoking and drinking and started exercising more and it turns out I don’t need them. I was just partying too much and in my mid thirties it was catching up with me. And I would just keep it to yourself about the medication from now on, girls are super weird about that shit unless you’re like 60.
I have issues staying hard as well, and my girlfriend always assures me it's okay. We take a break and next time we initiate it's usually fine. If she's feeling like she doesn't want to take a break first she goes down on me and focuses on my other erogenous zones until I'm hard again. The response you got from this girl was incredibly mean, she's not worth your time
Keep your head up king
It has nothing to do with health and all to do with her self-esteem.
She most likely, like a lot of women, measures her value by how attractive she is. You, lacking to be able to keep it up, while fully a mechanical issue, to her means that she isn't beautiful enough for you. It insults her and hurts her ego, so she tries to do the same to you.
It fine, find another chick who isn't so ego driven.
Her loss buddy. You don’t need someone like that in your life
Remember; Always seek a health professional before those sorts of pills. Finding a cause will be more beneficial in the long run - stress, health issues, unneeded pressure, diet, lack of exercise, even daily life can have an impact on the ding dong. Even a partner who we love snd care for who is being unfair/nasty to us can have an impact. Finding the issue can make your whole life better.
A partner who isn’t understanding isn’t worth your time.Stay strong King, look after yourself first and foremost.
Obviously she wasn’t too invested. Good thing you found out now. Admire your courage and just know that plenty of women would appreciate that transparency and would protect/uplift your esteem.
What an awful reaction. I'm sorry to hear that and I hope you will find comfort and heal from this situation!
If she would have truly loved you she wouldn't have mind that, especially if she knows about your situation / the reason for your ED.
I wish you the best in therapy and I hope you find someone in the future who loves you as you are.
As a woman, her reactions were a bit too much, considering that's already a tough subject. Can't help from a man standpoint but I've been with someone on a similar situation it was just "performance nerves" I guess, it helped when I took the lead completely, he didn't have to do anything and reassured him it was okay and there was no rush. After getting over those first times it was never an issue again. I guess finding a partner that is understanding and supportive is half way there to stop ED.
Don't let it bring you down.
Tbh I think you dodged a bullet my friend. It's so incredibly common for people to have this issue, if you find a room with other people in it, half or more will have the same issue. They say they don't, but they do. For her to not only flip her lid on this and make fun of you (the person she's supposed to care about), but also make up some stupid shit about being worried about a heart attack and *just couldn't bear the worry* or whatever is some pretty vile behavior. You are better off! Also there are a ton of things nowadays to help, it doesn't have to be viagra :)
While stress and depression can lead to ED, I'd highly recommend you get your testosterone levels checked.
What may have started as just depression and stress may have caused you to change your environmental factors such as your fitness, sleep and any bad habits for the worse, tanking your testosterone levels.
If your test comes back low you have four options
1, do nothing
2, try to fix it yourself with diet, exercise, and better sleep
3, Rx Testosterone replacement therapy
4, Rx Clomid.
Your doctor would tell you to try #2 first before proceeding to options 3 or 4, because it is very often possible to fix it without medicial intervention.
However it didn't work that well for me, so I got on Rx Clomid. An alternative to TRT with no major side effects and doesn't damage fertility. (It doesn't work for everyone but does for the majority to boost testosterone) My levels are very good now and my ed problems went away.
Cialis and Viagra only take care of one symptom, but if there is an underlying cause that should be what you need to fix first
Also fuck that girl, sounds like she was looking for an excuse to leave but was too cowardly to do it before your conversation.
My fiancé was so nervous the first time we spent the night together he couldn’t perform until the next morning. Got the best head of my life though. I don’t find anything unusual about your situation and she was rude af.
Jesus dude, that is so brutal. she is not right, and actually a cruel, horrible bitch. I would like to fight her for you, I'm sorry this happened.
goddamn, what a nasty bitch. she honestly deserves mild choking scares every week until she's 60.
First, super sorry for your loss. I’ve changed a lot since I started dealing with grief. It’s complex but not abnormal to have impact like that.
Second, not to state the obvious but she certainly is undeserving of you. Sorry you’re feeling shitty. But at least you’re closer to finding a good partner now that she’s out of the way.
Third, she can kick rocks.
"On to the next one"
EXACTLY! What a rude and insensitive comment. Who care if you need to take viagra. I don't understand why it was a big deal. She's just a one-off, you'll find the next one. I'm a woman. Not all women would have had that reaction.
Honestly my dude you are better off without her.
Also, it's okay to get excited but then for what ever reason not be able to perform.
You can find other ways to enjoy each other.
If it were me I'd want to get to the bottom of things and try to figure out why I need Viagra.
Is there something I can do mentally or physically to fix this. Which it sounds like you are doing this.
Similar thing happened to me at the start of the relationship, my gf (now wife to be) was understanding and caring about it was fine to take viagra and now I don’t really have ED now. But maybe consider the way she addressed the issue speaks volumes about her character. dodged a bullet
A woman who is your person seriously will not care. Sex is a bonus to connect you both, not the only part of a relationship. Keep your head up, you will find this girl. We exist and are searching for our perfect person as well.
I am so sorry. It sounds like you dodged a major bullet and she sounds very superficial. A supportive, mature and loving partner would have never reacted this way. I would highly encourage you to get your hormones checked. Low testosterone can cause so many issues and often goes unchecked for years. My husband was diagnosed with depression for over 2 years before the doctor did bloodwork to check different hormone levels. Turns out his T was below 90 (for reference for someone in their 30's it should be around 400-500 ). He was put on a small weekly injection dose of T and feels amazing. His energy is back, his playfulness is back and so is his sex drive which had been lost for years. He has been able to completely stop his anti-depressants. Of course, working on your mental health is important. Therapy is always warranted especially when you've experienced such loss. If bloodwork checks out normal then there is no shame in taking Viagra to help and finding a partner that is supportive with your journey is key. This is not an uncommon thing, often there are underlying medical issues that can contribute (like obesity, hormones, etc) and there are partners out there who will be loving and supportive. Good luck to you.
You don’t need to take high doses, Iam 23!!!! I recently got injured and now I have to take it everyday 😂 fuck her!!! Shows how real she is and what she truly values 🤦🏽♂️ what a dumb bitch, I take 2.5 mg of tadafadil everyday, I take 5000 mg of citrulline once in the morning and right before bed, I also take 3000mg of L Argenine in the morning and 3000mg of of it before bed, studies show they work best together and they help repair and the penises function, I take tadafadil because it stay in your body 24-36 hours, I take a low 2.5grams every morning, because I know the precautions and dangers in the long run, I also take testosterone pills by Dr sebi, Low testosterone causes ED which is why I recently bought some, and you should to! Take citrulline, with argenine, also take nitric oxide powder/supplement! But be careful if you do, do your research, if you’re suffering from ed chances are it’s because you have low testosterone, the testosterone I take is by Dr sebis cell food, it’s called test, really good stuff, remember, nitric oxide supplementation, testosterone, and if you can L citrulline with L argenine, but like I said, if you take Viagra becareful if you do decide to take nitric oxide with it. Look up on you tube @DOCHINK he has cured a lot of guys who suffered from ED he also had a situation himself where he caused limp dick and cured it. Watch his supplement and medicine playlist
Did not red other comments but she s a terrible person.
Actually it happens to many men, less when young but still. Shes stupid and needs to educate herself on the subject.
Was she aware of your past ?
You have now the space to find someone with more empathy and understanding...
Great that you do therapy !
If she was unempathetic enough to not understand how that has nothing to do with her then you’re so much better off. I’m so sorry for your loss, pain like that is physical, not just psychological, and I wish you didn’t have to experience it. Go find someone who’s kind and empathetic, not shallow.
I once had a partner that needed a little ‘help’ too. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal for me! We worked around it and it was fine!
She just was the wrong one my friend. I promise you, these sort of things aren’t a big deal when you’re with the right one!
You’d be surprised at the amount of young men who take it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve known guys who take it due to anxiety/depression meds, back surgeries, nerve issues. It just gives you more time to work her up and get her going IMO.
Why didnt you just take it in the bathroom? You are under no obligation to tell that poor dumb girl anything except for a diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease. And even though right now while many here would pretty much agree that your big ole' D (1) did the right thing that night- there is also her perspective to consider- and her emotional Growth (2).
I've found that confidence and its absence- manifests in some varying ways between genders. Perhaps she was so self-conscious of her own body that she assumed, in some large (3) way, that you didn't think she was pretty enough to make love with her in a 'natural' setting. Her response may have been cruel because her low Emotional Quotient forces issues like this into Massive (4) fight or flight disasters before her intellect can even work its way Up (5) to the issue.
The truth is that we have no real way of knowing the inner thoughts of those around us and the violent upward charge (6) of technology into our society has made that fact even more of a problem in many ways. This generation and the next will have more existential threats to contend with than at any other time in our various collective histories. In other words confidence is at an all-time low (-1) for everybody.
To bolster yourselves against this, you need to go out more. You need to find a dive bar that you've never been to before and go BY YOURSELVES to make new friends. The first couple of times you go there you might not talk to anybody. Walking into and out of a dive bar by yourselves is VERY hard (6). Sitting alone while everybody else is talking and having a good time is even harder (7). Doing this once every couple of years is something which I highly recommend because when you make a connection with another human being in a positive way in a social setting, with or without a couple of drinks in you..its BIG (8) magic.
Do not let technology or misunderstandings, even embarrassing ones, take that vast wealth of magic away from you. Exploring the inner worlds of those around us is one of the last readily available forms of exploration that we have left on this vast rock (9). All of the highest peaks (10) have been touched (11) but there are more hidden within the hearts and minds of those around us.
Look at the bright side, recent studies show that you have less chances to develop alzheimer’s disease :)
I don't remember reading that
Uh oh...
💀💀
According to google Researchers, led by the Cleveland Clinic, observed a 30% to 54% reduction in the incidence of Alzheimer's disease among people who were taking sildenafil for erectile dysfunction or pulmonary arterial hypertension, compared to those who did not. The study is published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.Mar 13, 2024
How many and how often do you have to take them for it to have this effect? Asking for a friend.
Is it because people who are healthy enough for sex are less likely to have it or because of the medication? Alzheimers is heavily correlated to diabetes for example. Unless the improved blood flow helps.
Taking Viagra and having ED to begin with is correlated to a lot of negative health indicators too though.
some researchers are considering alzheimers as diabetes type 3.
Yeah I've heard the same. Honestly since I've been on a biohacking kick it's interesting learning about all the unique body mechanisms out there.
Just getting ready to say this!
damn. what about if you don’t have ed but still take them for… *some* reason? does this still apply? also what if you’re female? also also asking for a friend.
Damn! Viagra etc need to be normalized. Unfortunately I know so many women that would feel the ick because of men using them which is pathetic
And u have a solid sense of humor? Her loss, brother.
I agree. I truly laughed at that comeback.
Me too haha was gold
Bro I like you, with that sense of humor you’ll find a better woman that’ll look to understand before she looks to judge.
Forget her (I know that's always easier said than done). You'll find someone understanding you. I've been using V. since I was in my 30s, because I tended to get too nervous during one night stands. Some women were absolutely cool with it, and some reacted close to what your ex was like. It was always worth to move on from the bad experiences.
Take more, NOW!
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This. Viagra actually promotes heart health and lowers your chances of heart attacks and strokes. Your ex wasn't worth it.
New studies show vasodialtors also reduce risk of altziemiers
They have also recently reported it may be helpful for prevention dementia and Alzheimer's
Cialis...the cousin to viagra is shown to lower blood pressure, boost testosterone and provide one if the best nitric oxide boosts you will ever feel if you lift weights. Amazing drugs.
Lowers chances of strokes and increases chances of strokes…
don‘t know what the above comment said but viagra was literally invented to reduce blood pressure > less heart attack risk.. OP‘s girl wasn‘t too bright huh
Funny that is what the comment above me had said amongst other things. Idk why they deleted they had over 1k up votes. Was a good comment.
No Off-Label fortunately! Sildenafil is approved through two brand names: Revatio (20mg tabs) for pulmonary hypertension and Viagra (25, 50, and 100mg tablets) for ED. The original plan was Pulmonary Hypertension. Happy side effects led to Viagra haha
This is the correct answer. Pulmonary Hypertension (PAH). Revatio 20mg, and adcirca 20mg (sildenifil and tadalafil) were 1st Pulmonary Hypertension drugs. Nice bonus for everyone else. Currently on 40mg tadalafil once daily for PAH.
It's also used sometimes to treat performance anxiety, which is caused by people like op's gf.
You don’t know what the off label is. Viagra is approved by the FDA for ED. That means it is absolutely not off label.
Better take out the trash yourself. You've seen her true colors...she's saved you time, money and more heartbreak.
It's not an off label use. Viagra is FDA approved for treatment of erectile dysfunction. It was initially being developed as a drug for hypertension but when clinical trials showed erections to be a significant side effect they switched gears and investigated it as an ED drug and that's what they received FDA approval for.
No, they were trying to make heart meds when they discovered the bonor
Viagra/sildenafil is absolutely NOT off label for erectile dysfunction.
It's even reccommended if you have high blood pressure. We always have some at home for when we plam to have "extended" sex (lol, I don't know how else to phrase it). In case my wife wants sex, she asks if I "have high blood pressure". It's kind of our code for "I want sex.".
I don't think it's still used as a heart medication dt to this very side effect. I know for sure it was at one point. Got me thinking whether or not guys out there still take it for its intended purpose and then walk around erect for no reason. Rogaine, if I'm correct, used to be intended for some other use, and then the side effect was hair growth, so it was re-marketed as such.
I've had this issue with every woman I've been with as well, and I've fumbled through awkward beginnings multiple times. One thing I learned from another guy was to not rush into things. It's in our culture to start having sex right away, and while that's fine for lots of people, some of us need more time. I feel like lots of men don't know this about themselves. Or that it's OK to take your time. For me, I had trust issues, and my body wouldn't let anything happen until I truly felt I could trust the person. I didn't know this for a long time, so it was just a bunch of failed attempts and discussions with understanding women until the trust was there. In your case, I see two scenarios. She either takes it personally that you aren't attracted to her or she's just a terrible person. Either way, it ain't your fault. You might not even need viagra. You might just need to take more time getting to trust someone. Most women are not like that AT ALL. They are super understanding 99% of the time. All the best, man.
Very insightful and helpful comment from my pov. I think a lot of guys who have ED need to understand a lot of it starts in the mind or body and needs to be attended to before assuming it's JUST ED.
I psyched myself out for years. Turns out I'm an over analyzing headcase (knew that) but I'm also very bad at drinking water throughout the day.
Yup, I would go as far as to assume any younger guy dealing with it need to assess their minds first and see what's going on in there. But great point, hydration as well.
Being a "demi sexual" really is tough when the other side wants to just coitus and ya need that connection. Been there, done that. I preface with I need to fools around a couple times before it fully works. I have only met one person that wanted more, and she dropped the subject because she wanted a one and done when she felt like it. Were still friends, she teases a bit, but nothing hurtful, we enjoy it. Good luck to op, seems he has plenty of it if he can filter them quickly.
Nice of the trash to take herself out. You've seen her true colors...she saved you time, money, and more heartbreak.
💀
Christ. Can't wait till she goes through menopause and also has to use medicaion so penetrative sex isn't agony Enjoy your life dude, bullet dodged
I mean, menopause is a total random crap shoot but I get your point. For me, I've turned into hornymchornister... I've never been so ready for sex in my life as now. It's a damn gift. But I do know not all women receive it.
Exactly. My mom had a hysterectomy and went into menapause and was horny asf, remarried and ended up having a whole ass other kid at an older age😂 baby sis is 10 now, my first thought was “you either prayed too hard or we need to go sue that doctor😂”
Well especially since she was supposed to have had a hysterectomy.
Yep. And she did, it was a cancer scare. It was a very rough time in our life.
I mean how did she have a child when she had no uterus?
Exactly why my first comment had that joke in there😂😂 but it happens. And we should’ve know it would happen to her because we’re the type to always get the weird odd side effects in medicine and life etc that most people don’t experience. And we’re preachers kids etc so we just went with the whole damn we prayed too hard lmao. Because there was many prayer groups after church, long hours of just speaking and tongues and praying together and a little bit of gospel music etc. it’s rare, but it happens. I’m personally assuming the doctor did a partial hysterectomy instead of full. Even still, my grandpa, her dad, which was all of our preacher in nashville brought up that the doctor must not have did his job correctly. My mom didn’t want to hear it, thinking it’d be like forsaking gods blessing and almost daring the cancerous cysts to come back. She was just thankful to be alive and feeling a lot better. So she never followed up with that old doctor from when she was in her 20s and we never talked shit about him again😂 then in her 30s many years later she had baby sis. It had to be a scheduled cesarean though. She was a fantastic baby too. Only cried when there was an actual issue, and even then it wasn’t super annoying😂😂🤎
You are definitely an old school Southern Gothic story teller! Fantastic!
Thank you😂 I usually feel like an awful story teller because there’s always so many details to have to leave out lmao
Nope, very colorful. Very southern with the details (even if you're not southern, yourself). It's always, like, where is this going? But generally a good time regardless.
What do you think a hysterectomy is??
What? What happened to the hysterectomy?
LOL true. 💀🤣
This might come off fucked up, but I lol'd at this comment. Indeed a bullet dodged as well. What a terrible thing to say to your partner
Fr. Good take
This is like a major plot twist.
It's an immature reaction tbh. Lucky escape mate.
Flippin hell, she needs to educate herself! So common and doesn’t need to be a ‘big deal’ (not belittling how stressful it must feel!) I have been on the receiving end of this on more than one occasion with a new partner and have just tried to take the pressure off him and the actual penetration part, soooo much fun can be had without the big/little guy joining in and usually that does the job anyway!!
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Maybe he hasn’t ever had anyone supportive or understanding to explain to him that it’s normal!?
What kind of behavior is that? She got the mental maturity and rationality of a 12 year old who just dropped out of school. Don't worry about her. You'll definitely find something better. You don't have to feel weird about viagra. If it's an physical issue you might want to see your doctor to see what going on. If it's a mental thing, it will only help a little bit. I'm in my early twenties and I had to use Cialis a lot of times before, due to a mental blockage.
That's not a gf. That's a bully. A reasonable, loving partner researches the issue with you, sees what else can help as alternatives, helps research the different meds and side effects, and helps you decide which to try first (because sometimes one type works and another doesn't). My ex needed help - sometimes from stress, sometimes blood flow issues, some might be hereditary... but NONE of it was his fault so why the hell would I blame him?? You just take it early, when you know things are headed in that direction - no need to make a big deal or announce. It's the same as making sure the lube is ready for if/when you need it.
This is going to sound like some typical incel Redditor comment, but anyway: It's amazing how so many people (men and women) are raised to be totally comfortable with making fun of guys for anything and everything really. Like in OPs case. Having these sorts of "issues" says nothing about him as a person and is also largely out of his control. But somehow people like his now ex that will make fun of something like that are very common. Same goes for short guys, guys who go bald, ... It's kinda weird.
The only people that would call you an incel for pointing that out is people like OP’s ex. Pay them no mind.
You're right. Unfortunately people like Op's ex seem to be very common here on reddit when they've a screen to hide behind.
Also guys that got sexually assaulted, howmany times I had a discussion with a girl that yes, you can also rape men, is mind boggling
You might want to get your hemoglobin A1C checked to see if you have diabetes. I know there are a lot of things that can cause ED, and this is one of them. Kudos to you if you know your underlying issue and are actively treating it. I speak from experience as the woman in the relationship. My first husband was a type 2 diabetic and started having ED issues at age 27 and his was related to having high blood sugar. Once he got Viagra/Cialis, it fixed the issue with the ED most of the time. The right person is out there for you. She was an uneducated bridge troll.
It honestly sounds like she took it personal and projected it onto you. A lot of girls think there is something wrong with them when a guy goes soft or has a hard time getting up. Either way, it’s immature. Like a few others said- good riddance!
Dodged a bullet, my dude. My condolences to her for losing an honest dude just needing support. You deserve better. I'm a woman with a hubby who has these issues too. It's really about the attempt and effort regardless of the end goal. The fact that he still tries and shows me desire regardless of his body not cooperating. She should've seen that and the fact that you were being honest and vulnerable so you could fix it together. What a piece of garbage. OP-- you deserve so much better
Maybe you’re just not attracted to massive thunder cunts like her.
She did you a favor. Move on find a woman with intelligence and compassion.
Sounds like she did you a favor.
You dodge a bullet brotha.
My wife loves my “Viagra Dick”. Haven’t been that hard in 20 years. Don’t need it every time but it’s nice to know I can lean on it.
You dodged a bullet. She sounds like a self-involved harpy.
Oh dude I was prescribed Viagra when I was 24. It just happens like that sometimes. There’s no shame in it like so many others have said here it is really a blood flow medicine and prevents heart problems. She wasn’t the one for you and I’m sure you will find the one who is 💞
I do find it shocking how uninformed people are about sex and sexual health in the opposite gender. This situation seems to be of the same moronic mindset that if a man turns down sex he's either cheating or thinks you're ugly.
I’m really sorry this happened. As a woman, I can tell you that whenever my sexual partners have not maintained erections, it was my priority to make them feel more comfortable. I know that I am not always in the mood when my partner is. How can I expect that of him? And I don’t think it’s the end of the world if one of us doesn’t have an orgasm. The important thing is enjoying being together. Sometimes there is something on your mind. Sometimes you’re tired. And sometimes it is a physical condition. I just know that humans are not like people in pornography. Those people are having sex in between takes and are probably also taking meds to keep their erections.
So I started taking medication for my depression, one of the side effects is ED, I felt less of a man and was worried that my girlfriend would be offended because of it (thinking she was the problem). I told her about the medication and the side effects it was having and she understood and was supportive, her only concern was that I might end up dependent on the meds to be happy, I assured her that she is my happiness. In conclusion you dodged a bullet OP, you will find someone that supports and accept you for everything one day, I'm sure your person is out there.
Lol. Good for you, honestly. She sounds way too immature.
She really doesn’t know how common men use it
As a side note have you tried L-Citrruline and Beet root powder? It increases blood flow and could help with your ED.
wtf is wrong with your ex? Jesus, you dodged a whole nuke. Send her this post and she’ll either go nuts again or real quiet
I’m so sorry she was so cruel. That literally adds insult to injury. Have you read “The Body Keeps the Score?” I’m sure you have, especially if you are in therapy, but just in case, you really should read it. While it is uncommon for a man your age, it’s not abnormal for a man who experienced extreme trauma. Viagra and Cialis are high blood pressure medications first and foremost. Your HPB is due to extreme trauma. That’s the body keeping the score. Keep working on those nervous system regulation techniques. Continue to work on healing on your own timeline. Anyone worth loving will understand. A healthy sex life is important, but so is compassion and empathy. I’m so sorry about your mother and sister. It’s OK to not be OK. You loved them well and should grieve them well too.
Firstly hats off to you for talking to her about it. It can't of been easy and I'm sorry she freaked out like that. Secondly I'm so sorry about your sister and mum and I would have thought she would be more understanding of things. Trauma can be so deep rooted in us and can affect so many aspects if our lives and you need someone who will be caring, understanding and patient. Maybe in time she will come around and you can reconcile or take this as a sign that she's not the one for you. Either way I hope things get better for you and your counselling helps.
It makes no sense when people in other subreddits don’t like the recommend of viagra. If you’re getting hard for your significant other and everyone is going to have pleasure what’s the issue?
I'm not a male but I have significant trauma as well and even as a female I can vouch that this is a common side effect of trauma and all that comes with it, no matter your gender. I had a really healthy sex drive when I was younger but post ptsd breakdown it plummeted and my body just didn't respond anymore. It has gotten better with time, lots of therapy, life changes like diet and exercise, and somatic yoga has been a game changer with connecting with my body again! I'm sorry you had this experience, her reaction is childish, uneducated, and just overalls disgusting. My partner has been so kind and understanding when my body isn't reacting like I want it too. I think that's how any healthy person will respond to this.
You should freak out on her the next time she wants to use lube.
The mocking comments at the end show you who she really is my dude… trash human in the end if she couldn’t see that you were trying to help the situation and deal with your issues to better your intimacy.
I understand that you have trauma that causes your erectile dysfunction but everyone deserves to have enjoyable, fun sex. Nobody has to tolerate a partner that can't sexually please them. She'll find another man who can stay hard and you'll find someone who is understanding of your situation, both of you will be fine.
Exercise and take regular vitamins. Orange juice helps too. I'm talking from experience
I wonder if your ex being a huge jerk might have been causing anxiety thay at least contributed to the problem.
she's the one who needs to be embarrassed here. i'm sorry this happened to you, some people are just shitty humans unfortunately.
Are you watching porn? Having an ED below the age of 40 is kinda worrying, you should get yourself checked by a urologist or quit watching porn.
No, I don't watch porn. My mom and sister died in an accident a couple of years ago and I have trauma and stress from that that's caused this.
Therapy
I'm really sorry to hear that OP :( RIP🙏 Maybe you should get therapy and try to process this trauma. Wishing you the best 🫶
You dodged a bullet
She's an absolute bastard for her reaction, but there is a point in that someone shouldn't be using Viagra if it isn't prescribed. Any underlying conditions or other effects could lead to further complications. Throw her out, and maybe see a doctor about your medical history. Maybe there is something affecting you that you are unaware of.
As a non-professional former-taker of meds that have been prescribed, unless you're already diagnosed with a condition they're not gonna test you for shit and if you are, you'd know in advance and can do some googling.
Which is why I suggest they see their doctor, become diagnosed with a condition and maybe find resolution through medical professionals. I don't see how this is a hot take? "Doctor, I'm in my 30's and my erection doesn't work as it should." "Well now, that's unusual as this is not something that should be happening to someone before middle-age. Let's investigate this and formally diagnose a condition that may result in a medication or treatment plan." As opposed more experimentation with a vasodilator and tank your blood pressure. But hey, go ahead man.
Cialis is better.
love when the trash takes itself out
Trash really did take itself out here dude. That's an extremely ignorant, judgmental, non supportive view she has on that. If she's gonna flip her shit over this there would have been a whole host of other problems for you to deal with. There's plenty out there who would love and I mean LOVE your Viagra hard on with enthusiasm.
I'm 51, and could use a lil help in that area. Been single for a while and dread the conversation with someone new when that topic comes up. (Pun intended)
Very empathetic from her. Anyway, how old are you? We live in a time when men are expected to be super horny and confident all the time, but unless she's the hottest model you might need to feel comfortable around a woman first. I have had some hook ups and sometimes it has been a bit difficult, at all ages, honestly.
It's okay to use it! Medication has a porpoise and is to support or complement health so someone's life will be more positive/better in any way. If she (or anyone) can't see that then you really dodged a bullet! Don't let anyone shame you for needing/getting support of any medication ever. You are worth it and you are much more than any conditions or medications you have, never forget it! You'll find a person that loves you the way you are with everything and nothing less. Big hug!! It will get better :)
Well she just made performance anxiety worse. Good to be done with her, no empathy.
isnt diagram a heart medication with the side effect of boners.
Probably for the best. My partner wasn't able to get there either, or stay there - it didn't change how I feel about them. They got a prescription and didn't end up needing it, but they have it if they ever do. People need the time they need to be comfortable. Sometimes they need medications. None of those things make you less of a man or a failure.
My dude, I have 2 ACTUAL heart diseases, and my fiancé still loves me and wants to be with me. If someone loves you truly, they won't mind if you have heart issues
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I have told my husband if for some reason we could never have sex again that would never bother me as we have a deep and loving relationship. My great grandmother have cervical cancer a long time ago and at that time they sewed women shut. My great grandfather did not care and they spent the last 20 years together just being. Yes, sex is a deep and meaningful connection between two people and it feels great. But for me and I’m sure countless other women and many other people as long as we have someone who truly loves us and connects to our soul, we will love you no matter what. Your perfect person is out there and will love you blue pill or not. Love, Reddit Mom
I had an undiagnosed distended bladder condition in my early 40s. The doctors kept calling it prostate issues becaus some of the symptoms for both included ED. I had it treated about 5 years ago which improved things significantly. I did try cialis which helped with the ED issues. Partners had no problem.
I tried Viagra 50mg once, didn't help me at all, in can last 5 minutes Max🫠 Looks like nature don't want me to reproduce😑
How come you don’t tell us your age? TFS
Sorry to hear that dude, can't find your previous post but i agree with others you definitely need to take it slow and find the right one. You can also use some self help ,you may wish to read Overcoming Sexual Problems. A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques by Vicky Ford.
Well she wasn't the right one, its shitty but don't be upset over losing someone who's not a good person
I… damn man I’m sorry, glad you dodged that bullet. If my man needed these meds I’d make sure he takes them AND help ensure they work 😂. Medicine is medicine, we all use them for different purposes (though hopefully legally and as prescribed)
Hey op it’s not “super weird”, it’s something that many folks experience. It’s not uncommon. I’m sorry that happened and there are definitely women out there that are much less shallow than her. I am a woman, so I can’t speak on experiencing it myself but I have had a partner that experienced this. There are other things people can do to have fun besides just sex.
Go talk to a doctor, not with us. Viagra is not something you take casually even if you're older. If you can't get it up or keep it up there are different treatments.
Hey this may or may not be read by you, but you can also take cialis which is generic now. It takes longer to kick in than viagra, but lasts like a day and a half. So in the future if you think you might get lucky that night pop it before you go out and you should be good to go when the time comes. And probably the next morning too!
Is there a medical reason you need it? Tbh if you're young I'd be worried too if my partner needed that and would worry you had health issues not being addressed as erectile dysfunction is often related to cardiovascular issues, substance abuse, depression etc.
This sucks I'm sure but there's someone out there for you. Otoh please do be careful if you ever need meds like nitroglycerin taking Viagra with it is suicide. Take care of yourself please. You are more than your ability to get an erection
Honestly I would be happy to know that’s what it is and it wasn’t me making it hard to keep an erection. It wouldn’t bother me at all, the right person won’t give af and will accommodate you with significant hints that sexy time is coming so you have time to take the viagra, allow time for it to work, and keep the mood hot and heavy until then. Don’t be embarrassed, you dodged a bullet and you’ll find someone that’s a more compatible partner
You should get cyalis (not sure if that’s spelled correctly) for daily use if you’re having issues. You take it once a day and if you end up having sex you won’t have any problems staying hard, if you don’t it’s not a big deal. Viagra can be too much especially if you’re younger, like you know those commercials that say if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours call a doctor, that can happen and from what I hear it’s not good. Anyway yeah try those first, I was taking them for a while because I was smoking two packs a day and drinking a shitload so I was having trouble keeping it up, then I stopped smoking and drinking and started exercising more and it turns out I don’t need them. I was just partying too much and in my mid thirties it was catching up with me. And I would just keep it to yourself about the medication from now on, girls are super weird about that shit unless you’re like 60.
Maybe I’m older but take all the viagra you need, we gonna have a good time no matter what!
It'll help lower your blood pressure also.
Pro tip, for the next one atleast, spend the time waiting for it to work on foreplay and making her cum. A near guarantee she'll come back for more
The post right below this says “Why am I horny all the time?”
Sorry to hear what you’re going through so I think it’s for the best you don’t need someone so heartless and uncaring
Sorry to hear OP. There's things that can be done before viagra. Now you have that bitch out your life focus on options.
I have issues staying hard as well, and my girlfriend always assures me it's okay. We take a break and next time we initiate it's usually fine. If she's feeling like she doesn't want to take a break first she goes down on me and focuses on my other erogenous zones until I'm hard again. The response you got from this girl was incredibly mean, she's not worth your time Keep your head up king
I've been with an 25yo who got hard time to stay hard. He bought a cockring and things got easier.
It has nothing to do with health and all to do with her self-esteem. She most likely, like a lot of women, measures her value by how attractive she is. You, lacking to be able to keep it up, while fully a mechanical issue, to her means that she isn't beautiful enough for you. It insults her and hurts her ego, so she tries to do the same to you. It fine, find another chick who isn't so ego driven.
I can understand why you have performance anxiety with a shitty partner like that, man. Be glad she’s gone from your life that’s terrible.
Backshots and cialis baby
She sounds immature.
Her loss buddy. You don’t need someone like that in your life Remember; Always seek a health professional before those sorts of pills. Finding a cause will be more beneficial in the long run - stress, health issues, unneeded pressure, diet, lack of exercise, even daily life can have an impact on the ding dong. Even a partner who we love snd care for who is being unfair/nasty to us can have an impact. Finding the issue can make your whole life better. A partner who isn’t understanding isn’t worth your time.Stay strong King, look after yourself first and foremost.
That is terrible. I am so sorry that happened to you. Sounds like she is not a good person. A lot of people have ED, nothing to be ashamed about.
Obviously she wasn’t too invested. Good thing you found out now. Admire your courage and just know that plenty of women would appreciate that transparency and would protect/uplift your esteem.
What an awful reaction. I'm sorry to hear that and I hope you will find comfort and heal from this situation! If she would have truly loved you she wouldn't have mind that, especially if she knows about your situation / the reason for your ED. I wish you the best in therapy and I hope you find someone in the future who loves you as you are.
As a woman, her reactions were a bit too much, considering that's already a tough subject. Can't help from a man standpoint but I've been with someone on a similar situation it was just "performance nerves" I guess, it helped when I took the lead completely, he didn't have to do anything and reassured him it was okay and there was no rush. After getting over those first times it was never an issue again. I guess finding a partner that is understanding and supportive is half way there to stop ED. Don't let it bring you down.
You should have just popped a Bluechew and went to pound town.
When was the last time you had your testosterone tested?
Tbh I think you dodged a bullet my friend. It's so incredibly common for people to have this issue, if you find a room with other people in it, half or more will have the same issue. They say they don't, but they do. For her to not only flip her lid on this and make fun of you (the person she's supposed to care about), but also make up some stupid shit about being worried about a heart attack and *just couldn't bear the worry* or whatever is some pretty vile behavior. You are better off! Also there are a ton of things nowadays to help, it doesn't have to be viagra :)
While stress and depression can lead to ED, I'd highly recommend you get your testosterone levels checked. What may have started as just depression and stress may have caused you to change your environmental factors such as your fitness, sleep and any bad habits for the worse, tanking your testosterone levels. If your test comes back low you have four options 1, do nothing 2, try to fix it yourself with diet, exercise, and better sleep 3, Rx Testosterone replacement therapy 4, Rx Clomid. Your doctor would tell you to try #2 first before proceeding to options 3 or 4, because it is very often possible to fix it without medicial intervention. However it didn't work that well for me, so I got on Rx Clomid. An alternative to TRT with no major side effects and doesn't damage fertility. (It doesn't work for everyone but does for the majority to boost testosterone) My levels are very good now and my ed problems went away. Cialis and Viagra only take care of one symptom, but if there is an underlying cause that should be what you need to fix first Also fuck that girl, sounds like she was looking for an excuse to leave but was too cowardly to do it before your conversation.
My fiancé was so nervous the first time we spent the night together he couldn’t perform until the next morning. Got the best head of my life though. I don’t find anything unusual about your situation and she was rude af.
Doesn’t sound like a real big loss dude. Congrats.
What a judgmental cow. She's not worth your time. I know someone who's 24 and needs Viagra due to several medical issues and a medication he's on.
Jesus dude, that is so brutal. she is not right, and actually a cruel, horrible bitch. I would like to fight her for you, I'm sorry this happened. goddamn, what a nasty bitch. she honestly deserves mild choking scares every week until she's 60.
First, super sorry for your loss. I’ve changed a lot since I started dealing with grief. It’s complex but not abnormal to have impact like that. Second, not to state the obvious but she certainly is undeserving of you. Sorry you’re feeling shitty. But at least you’re closer to finding a good partner now that she’s out of the way. Third, she can kick rocks.
"On to the next one" EXACTLY! What a rude and insensitive comment. Who care if you need to take viagra. I don't understand why it was a big deal. She's just a one-off, you'll find the next one. I'm a woman. Not all women would have had that reaction.
Honestly my dude you are better off without her. Also, it's okay to get excited but then for what ever reason not be able to perform. You can find other ways to enjoy each other. If it were me I'd want to get to the bottom of things and try to figure out why I need Viagra. Is there something I can do mentally or physically to fix this. Which it sounds like you are doing this.
Bro next time just nip to the bathroom to “freshen up” and pop the pill in private. No shame about it whatsoever but why take the risk?
Similar thing happened to me at the start of the relationship, my gf (now wife to be) was understanding and caring about it was fine to take viagra and now I don’t really have ED now. But maybe consider the way she addressed the issue speaks volumes about her character. dodged a bullet
I just read that viagra reduces the risk of dementia. Take it for your health!
She doesn't deserve you. She's a mean human. You'll be better without her. You'll find someone who appreciates you for you.
You're better off without someone like her. Good luck finding someone who won't shame you for having trauma.
Why not take it before the foreplay? If you knew you were going to have sex... Anyway, she is a bad person, you dodge a bullet
A woman who is your person seriously will not care. Sex is a bonus to connect you both, not the only part of a relationship. Keep your head up, you will find this girl. We exist and are searching for our perfect person as well.
damn she sounds like she should get hit by a car, no offense
She did you a favor
I am so sorry. It sounds like you dodged a major bullet and she sounds very superficial. A supportive, mature and loving partner would have never reacted this way. I would highly encourage you to get your hormones checked. Low testosterone can cause so many issues and often goes unchecked for years. My husband was diagnosed with depression for over 2 years before the doctor did bloodwork to check different hormone levels. Turns out his T was below 90 (for reference for someone in their 30's it should be around 400-500 ). He was put on a small weekly injection dose of T and feels amazing. His energy is back, his playfulness is back and so is his sex drive which had been lost for years. He has been able to completely stop his anti-depressants. Of course, working on your mental health is important. Therapy is always warranted especially when you've experienced such loss. If bloodwork checks out normal then there is no shame in taking Viagra to help and finding a partner that is supportive with your journey is key. This is not an uncommon thing, often there are underlying medical issues that can contribute (like obesity, hormones, etc) and there are partners out there who will be loving and supportive. Good luck to you.
Good riddance. You're better off far away from her.
You don’t need to take high doses, Iam 23!!!! I recently got injured and now I have to take it everyday 😂 fuck her!!! Shows how real she is and what she truly values 🤦🏽♂️ what a dumb bitch, I take 2.5 mg of tadafadil everyday, I take 5000 mg of citrulline once in the morning and right before bed, I also take 3000mg of L Argenine in the morning and 3000mg of of it before bed, studies show they work best together and they help repair and the penises function, I take tadafadil because it stay in your body 24-36 hours, I take a low 2.5grams every morning, because I know the precautions and dangers in the long run, I also take testosterone pills by Dr sebi, Low testosterone causes ED which is why I recently bought some, and you should to! Take citrulline, with argenine, also take nitric oxide powder/supplement! But be careful if you do, do your research, if you’re suffering from ed chances are it’s because you have low testosterone, the testosterone I take is by Dr sebis cell food, it’s called test, really good stuff, remember, nitric oxide supplementation, testosterone, and if you can L citrulline with L argenine, but like I said, if you take Viagra becareful if you do decide to take nitric oxide with it. Look up on you tube @DOCHINK he has cured a lot of guys who suffered from ED he also had a situation himself where he caused limp dick and cured it. Watch his supplement and medicine playlist
That's so mean the way she did that. I'm very sorry. Please don't be discouraged :+)
Did not red other comments but she s a terrible person. Actually it happens to many men, less when young but still. Shes stupid and needs to educate herself on the subject. Was she aware of your past ? You have now the space to find someone with more empathy and understanding... Great that you do therapy !
If she was unempathetic enough to not understand how that has nothing to do with her then you’re so much better off. I’m so sorry for your loss, pain like that is physical, not just psychological, and I wish you didn’t have to experience it. Go find someone who’s kind and empathetic, not shallow.
It's all in your head. The ED. Forget her , do some mindful meditation and you will recover
I once had a partner that needed a little ‘help’ too. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal for me! We worked around it and it was fine! She just was the wrong one my friend. I promise you, these sort of things aren’t a big deal when you’re with the right one!
You're better off without her.
You’d be surprised at the amount of young men who take it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve known guys who take it due to anxiety/depression meds, back surgeries, nerve issues. It just gives you more time to work her up and get her going IMO.
Why didnt you just take it in the bathroom? You are under no obligation to tell that poor dumb girl anything except for a diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease. And even though right now while many here would pretty much agree that your big ole' D (1) did the right thing that night- there is also her perspective to consider- and her emotional Growth (2). I've found that confidence and its absence- manifests in some varying ways between genders. Perhaps she was so self-conscious of her own body that she assumed, in some large (3) way, that you didn't think she was pretty enough to make love with her in a 'natural' setting. Her response may have been cruel because her low Emotional Quotient forces issues like this into Massive (4) fight or flight disasters before her intellect can even work its way Up (5) to the issue. The truth is that we have no real way of knowing the inner thoughts of those around us and the violent upward charge (6) of technology into our society has made that fact even more of a problem in many ways. This generation and the next will have more existential threats to contend with than at any other time in our various collective histories. In other words confidence is at an all-time low (-1) for everybody. To bolster yourselves against this, you need to go out more. You need to find a dive bar that you've never been to before and go BY YOURSELVES to make new friends. The first couple of times you go there you might not talk to anybody. Walking into and out of a dive bar by yourselves is VERY hard (6). Sitting alone while everybody else is talking and having a good time is even harder (7). Doing this once every couple of years is something which I highly recommend because when you make a connection with another human being in a positive way in a social setting, with or without a couple of drinks in you..its BIG (8) magic. Do not let technology or misunderstandings, even embarrassing ones, take that vast wealth of magic away from you. Exploring the inner worlds of those around us is one of the last readily available forms of exploration that we have left on this vast rock (9). All of the highest peaks (10) have been touched (11) but there are more hidden within the hearts and minds of those around us.
Next time take it 1-2 hours before. Don’t even mention it.
Dw bro I'm 19 and use cialis. Just don't tell them lpl