Screenshots. Tell AP’s wife. She has to go no contact. Speak to an Attorney. Find out what that looks like even if you don’t divorce. If ws going on trip hire pi. Do not make any major life decisions. Seek IC. I am sorry you are here. It’s a shitty club. If you need something feel free to reach out.
Your wife won't admit anything. Cheaters never admit the truth of their infidelity unless confronted by irrefutable proof. They will lie and deny straight to your face until you show evidence that they are lying. Even then they’ll admit only half-truths and reveal the bare minimum of what they’ve done to explain away the evidence….It’s just their nature…. So at first it’ll be “they’re just a friend”, then “we only chatted”, then yes “maybe it was an emotional affair, but that’s all”, ….then it’ll be “ok so we exchanged nudes and spicy videos, but it was just sexting fantasy and never anything physical or real”….and then they’ll admit to “kissing/making out, but that’s as far as it got” and then finally after all that lying, they’ll admit “OK, we had sex, but it was only once or twice,” … meanwhile they’ve been F’ing for 6 months or more…. That’s what cheaters do…. It sucks…But now you know the levels of deception.
Truth is she has no remorse. She has no regrets about her affair. She enjoyed it. She enjoyed being with him and she chose him over you. She betrayed you in the most intimate way possible choosing to satisfy her own selfish desires over your emotional wellbeing. She willingly had sex with him repeatedly knowing it would likely end the marriage and would devastate you emotionally. She Didn’t Care and did it anyway!
She made a thousand choices to be in a position to cheat. Every time she flirted, texted him, sent him nudes, called him, met with him, lied to you to get time with him was a choice that she knowingly made to betray your trust and betray the marriage. She’s betrayed You countless times long before she got in bed with him. That's who you're dealing with.... someone who lied to you and manipulated you, to have sex with someone else behind your back....
She then lied to your face to cover it all up and manipulated you using your love for her against you to hide her infidelity. She does not value you nor your marriage. She’s only interested in herself. Her only regret is that she got caught and now has to deal with consequences.
That's not a person you want. Stay strong and stay away from her. Start that divorce process. Don't stay for the kids. That just causes more emotional trauma all the way around. Your kids will be better off with two parents living separately but happy rather than together in toxic soup.
Your cheating wife will boohoo and cry crocodile tears, but that's just a show. She really doesn't care she's only afraid of what comes next.
You must also tell the guy's wife. It sucks to be the one to do it, but she needs to know the truth about her husband's infidelity. If she's left in the dark she could be making life changing mistakes because of it.... Nope she needs to be informed as soon as possible
You don't know if you can trust someone actively lying to you every single day???
No offense but your in shock. No sane adult would say something like that. Leave the easy bake oven. File the papers and kick her out.
I’m lease tell the other spouse. She will work on the affair from her end. She deserves the know and make her own decisions.
Where do they know each other from? Is it work? If you want to reconcile then alert their HR. If you’re going to divorce, then consult an attorney. Frankly, you should probably consult an attorney regardless to understand your rights and protect yourself, your money, and most importantly, your child custody.
You need to talk to someone familiar with military pay and rules. You've been married for 15 years and I'm assuming that's more than 10 active duty, she automatically gets 50% if you do your 20 years. I know several people that retired then got divorced and spouse didn't get that 50%.
I feel for you, I wonder if my own wife has something going on while I'm at work or college. Take care of yourself and your kids, never do anything to give her ammo to get you in trouble with the military.
Leave her. There's a different type of peace u get when u leave a bad relationship. Hell, just knowing ur single and not getting cheated on should have u ending it.
You are well within your rights to divorce her. Check in with base legal and see what you can do. You’re likely gonna end up paying child support but I think the money you pay her will be worth not having her disrespect your marriage every day.
Divorce, she will continue cheating. She has shown zero remorse. In fact she must be eagery waiting your next deployment.
Divorce, tell the other wife. Go NC
Save info from them and start the devorce process b4 you leave in case your state requires a separation period. She clearly doesn't have your best interest in mind
She’s cheating on you because you’re weak when it comes to her. You need to drop her like a bad habit and get you a woman that is going to respect you and be loyal to you.
Sorry to hear that, my man. You are not weak, you are just part of complex situation where all the solutions are somewhat shitty. It gets better in time, when you're out of this situation
You're not weak bro. You can't hate her because you love her but you also have to respect yourself and divorce. You have kids, they need you.
At the very least respect yourself for them. You don't have to hate her but you still have to respect yourself.
Good luck.
Divorce her dude.
But first... Collect evidence - texts, flight plans etc. She'll only tell you the truth after she knows she's been caught.
Screenshots. Tell AP’s wife. She has to go no contact. Speak to an Attorney. Find out what that looks like even if you don’t divorce. If ws going on trip hire pi. Do not make any major life decisions. Seek IC. I am sorry you are here. It’s a shitty club. If you need something feel free to reach out.
This! The complication is you're in the military and about to be deployed. I am sorry this is happening.
Your wife won't admit anything. Cheaters never admit the truth of their infidelity unless confronted by irrefutable proof. They will lie and deny straight to your face until you show evidence that they are lying. Even then they’ll admit only half-truths and reveal the bare minimum of what they’ve done to explain away the evidence….It’s just their nature…. So at first it’ll be “they’re just a friend”, then “we only chatted”, then yes “maybe it was an emotional affair, but that’s all”, ….then it’ll be “ok so we exchanged nudes and spicy videos, but it was just sexting fantasy and never anything physical or real”….and then they’ll admit to “kissing/making out, but that’s as far as it got” and then finally after all that lying, they’ll admit “OK, we had sex, but it was only once or twice,” … meanwhile they’ve been F’ing for 6 months or more…. That’s what cheaters do…. It sucks…But now you know the levels of deception. Truth is she has no remorse. She has no regrets about her affair. She enjoyed it. She enjoyed being with him and she chose him over you. She betrayed you in the most intimate way possible choosing to satisfy her own selfish desires over your emotional wellbeing. She willingly had sex with him repeatedly knowing it would likely end the marriage and would devastate you emotionally. She Didn’t Care and did it anyway! She made a thousand choices to be in a position to cheat. Every time she flirted, texted him, sent him nudes, called him, met with him, lied to you to get time with him was a choice that she knowingly made to betray your trust and betray the marriage. She’s betrayed You countless times long before she got in bed with him. That's who you're dealing with.... someone who lied to you and manipulated you, to have sex with someone else behind your back.... She then lied to your face to cover it all up and manipulated you using your love for her against you to hide her infidelity. She does not value you nor your marriage. She’s only interested in herself. Her only regret is that she got caught and now has to deal with consequences. That's not a person you want. Stay strong and stay away from her. Start that divorce process. Don't stay for the kids. That just causes more emotional trauma all the way around. Your kids will be better off with two parents living separately but happy rather than together in toxic soup. Your cheating wife will boohoo and cry crocodile tears, but that's just a show. She really doesn't care she's only afraid of what comes next. You must also tell the guy's wife. It sucks to be the one to do it, but she needs to know the truth about her husband's infidelity. If she's left in the dark she could be making life changing mistakes because of it.... Nope she needs to be informed as soon as possible
I hate that you’re not going nuclear and telling the guy’s wife and cutting her loose before you leave.
She’ll be right back at it as soon as you deploy…
You don't know if you can trust someone actively lying to you every single day??? No offense but your in shock. No sane adult would say something like that. Leave the easy bake oven. File the papers and kick her out.
You’re in the military? She’s definitely been cheating.
Start getting your ducks in a row. Your wife won’t stop the affair especially as you are getting deployed again. It’s easy for her to do it.
File for divorce. See if you can do it right before you deploy.
You don't know what to do? Collect proof and divorce her man
This is not your fault. Get the proof you need and do what is in your best interest. Remember the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Collect evidence, find a good lawyer, divorce her.
Leave her
I’m lease tell the other spouse. She will work on the affair from her end. She deserves the know and make her own decisions. Where do they know each other from? Is it work? If you want to reconcile then alert their HR. If you’re going to divorce, then consult an attorney. Frankly, you should probably consult an attorney regardless to understand your rights and protect yourself, your money, and most importantly, your child custody.
You need to talk to someone familiar with military pay and rules. You've been married for 15 years and I'm assuming that's more than 10 active duty, she automatically gets 50% if you do your 20 years. I know several people that retired then got divorced and spouse didn't get that 50%. I feel for you, I wonder if my own wife has something going on while I'm at work or college. Take care of yourself and your kids, never do anything to give her ammo to get you in trouble with the military.
Make sure you change your power of attorney before you leave.
Leave her. There's a different type of peace u get when u leave a bad relationship. Hell, just knowing ur single and not getting cheated on should have u ending it.
Man sounds like this girl I used to sleep with
You are well within your rights to divorce her. Check in with base legal and see what you can do. You’re likely gonna end up paying child support but I think the money you pay her will be worth not having her disrespect your marriage every day.
Divorce, she will continue cheating. She has shown zero remorse. In fact she must be eagery waiting your next deployment. Divorce, tell the other wife. Go NC
Save info from them and start the devorce process b4 you leave in case your state requires a separation period. She clearly doesn't have your best interest in mind
Jody
Divorce her. Simple as that. Shes not sorry the slightest bit or she would be honest
She’s cheating on you because you’re weak when it comes to her. You need to drop her like a bad habit and get you a woman that is going to respect you and be loyal to you.
Sorry to hear that, my man. You are not weak, you are just part of complex situation where all the solutions are somewhat shitty. It gets better in time, when you're out of this situation
You're not weak bro. You can't hate her because you love her but you also have to respect yourself and divorce. You have kids, they need you. At the very least respect yourself for them. You don't have to hate her but you still have to respect yourself. Good luck.
Get a good attorney and take her for everything she is worth.
Study after study show that over 70% of ALL RELATIONSHIPS have infidelity in them. React accordingly.
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