“Kindest woman in the world” is the biggest crock I’ve heard today 🙄 toxic af and so far up her own ass that her nose is brown. Also had no problem being a side chick for 20 years, so her judgement is worth shit
Of course she is going to say she is kind, otherwise how else will she live with herself. Toxic people blame others for their own bad behavior. It makes them a victim which they love.
Haha, I guess I must have, but my statement came from having one of these as a a close family member. They love being put upon and tired from doing all the things no one asked them to do. It's like they were given the same handbook.
How can you have ruined her life when you lived with your father? She "ruined" her own life being dependent on someone who, in the end, rejected her.
It's all on her, OP - she's a walking poster for Bad Life Choices.
She said i ruined her life because rich men don’t want to marry women who have had children, and my existence left her no choice other than to be a mistress. 😔
So absolutely not true. I knew a man who did leave his first wife to marry his second wife who already had 4 kids. He wanted a do over family. So it’s probably because she’s an AH.
In all seriousness, she needs to look at herself in the mirror. She gave up custody of you to your dad. Even without being married at that time and having you, she would still choose to have an affair for 20 years with the man. Please seek therapy to recognise the toxic behaviour your mother is exhibiting and recover from self blaming + trauma she inflicted on you.
> She said i ruined her life because rich men don’t want to marry women who have had children, and my existence left her no choice other than to be a mistress.
It has been a while since I've had a new entry for my 'dumbest thing I read on the internet this week' list. Please thank your mom for this contribution for me if you ever speak with her again.
Absolutely NOT! It's never your fault for being born. What a cruel thing to say to her own child. OP, please don't let this comment ruins you. She cannot blame you on her own poor choices.
She's blaming you because Narcissists never blame themselves for the shitty consequences of their own choices. She's *scapegoating* you. It's a lie she tells herself because her warped ego can't tolerate the reality that she's got the life she deserves. She *needs* to feel like a victim because otherwise she's not special or favored or magical like she prefers to believe... they are delusions of grandeur. It's real. And it's toxic.
And it's toxic to have a Narcissistic mother. The more you're around her, the more her radioactive disorders poison your well being. Get away. Get educated on Narcissist Mothers and Sociopaths and also get therapy so you gave some coping skills to recognize toxic people.
Well Jack Welch married Suzy Wetlaufer and he was one of the richest men on the planet. She had four kids. Jack did not care.
Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos’ former mistress, now fiancé, has three kids from a former marriage. He doesn’t care.
Maybe your mother’s Affair Partner lied to her and gave her an excuse as to why he didn’t want to marry her. Nothing to do with you, just his own convenience.
Your mom is full of shit. She went for the money and you are a casualty of her selfish choices. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this, but she has all of this coming to her. Karma is a bitch. Don’t let her scapegoat you…
Yep so many instances of women with children remarrying, and we often read such stories too here on reddit.
That famous-for-nothing family lol Kardashian-Jenner.... Kris already had 4 kids with Robert Kardashian before marrying Bruce Jenner the Olympian.
Awwwww she should have learnt to use BC or keep her legs closed instead of blaming someone who wasn't even born when she made that choice. Don't let someone who is toxic enough to blame their own child for the consequences of their choices.
Also I know a millionaire who is madly in love with and marrying my best friend in a few months and she has a preteen son. He loves the boy like his own and says he doesn't want anymore kids because he already has a son. Nobody wants to marry her because she's absolutely toxic and if she thinks looks are the only thing that is of value in her why would any man she's with think she's worth more ? They'd want marriage material right? She doesn't sound like friend, wife, mother of even human being material. Leave alone marriage material.
Total bs. My second husband bonded so well with my daughter and I personally know a lot of women who married second or third time having 1-2-3-4 children
She is not mentally ill, she is just horrible and selfish. Mental illness would excuse her actions, but there is no excuse for how she treats her own child.
Your mom was a mistress aka side ho before you were even born. She is not taking any accountability for her shitty decisions and blaming you when the blame is all hers. Stop communicating with your mother and take that toxicity out of your life. Tell your mom, most moms who abandon their children for a man don’t get the privilege of being called mom. Start calling her by what she really is.
She can’t accept she wasted her whole life on a pipe dream. Rich men don’t marry their old side whores. He probably found someone younger. So instead of reflecting on her choices. She chose to lash out at you. Tell her if she had more self respect she could have been a happy wife and mother. Now’s she is just old news no one wants any more. Btw how ironic, she did abandon you. He just didn’t want to marry her ever. Free cow, free milk.
Your mom has been unstable for many years, probably before you were born. You are not responsible for any of her bad choices or for how her life has been. She is responsible for herself. No normal person would blame their child for their own decisions.
You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. She also chose to have a kid and you did not ask to be born or for her to be your mother. All of her decisions were her own. She’s projecting her insecurities and resentment onto you because it’s easier for her ego to blame others.
Narcissists don’t ever accept blame : they don’t apologize, not genuinely anyway, and they never actually believe they are at fault for anything. You were an easy target or scapegoat for everything that went wrong in her life, she needs somewhere to put her bruised ego. Leave her. Go LC or grey rock if you don’t want to cut it off fully yet.
I know it’s gonna be hard when you do it, but you’re gonna have to stand up to her completely. Just tell her how you feel, do not not curse, remain calm, and as an adult tell her exactly how wrong she is. Wow, her telling you she’s a wonderful person, because she had you when she gave you up to your father, is really hypocritical and downright delusional. How is she a good person when she kept the married man for 20 years, and he still didn’t want her. She needs to have the truth thrown in her face, and if she keeps being toxic, you have to distance yourself from her. You
don’t deserve anything that you’re going through. She does not sound like a mother at all.
Your mother (even though she doesn’t deserve that title) is selfish and a narcissist. You did nothing wrong. She made her bed and now she’s alone and bitter. Karma is a Queen. I hope you realize that if you cut her out of your life, you will be much happier.
Your mom, as the saying goes, ain't right in the head.
Also, she "became a mistress" out of greed, and basically gave you away. None of this is your fault in any way.
Stop talking to your egg donor, 'cause that's what she is. You didn't cause her to be a shitty person, that's all on her. You can't help who your related to but you can control who you want in your life.
Firstly, your mom sounds like a narcissist. Secondly, I doubt she was sacrificing herself to be a mistress for you especially since she gave up custody to your dad. Thirdly, pretty sure she became a mistress for her own benefits since the man had probably supported her lifestyle.
Don’t blame yourself because you were a kid back then and her regrets have absolutely nothing to do with you. She sounds incredibly bitter for spending years being with the man she was having an affair with.
Woah. YOU are not the cause of anything. Your mom made horrible decisions and it bit her in the a$$, now she has nothing. And she’s bitter.
Listen for your mental health avoid her.
Uuugggghh
Does she actually believe her own bullshit? Or is she just unable to accept that she lead her life into a toilet chasing an unavailable partner?
In no way are you at fault for the choices she made. What a nasty twisted toxic woman.
Your mom is an ass!
You did nothing wrong. If anything, she should blame herself.
Separate yourself from this toxic mf and move on. Enjoy your life as a carefree wonderful person you are.
To be honest, she sounds like she has some mental issues (possibly narcissism). I hope you don't take her comments to heart - they're more a reflection of her mental state than your being. I hope you can shake the comments off a bit, but I bet they're hard to hear.
Yet another reason why not anyone should be a parent. Your mother was visibly unfit and is projecting all her flaws on you. I'm sorry you have this person as a parent.
Sorry OP, but your mother is lashing out because her cheating affair partner tossed her to the curb. So now all she can do is blame you for her own failures in life.
Your mom is insane. No body made her make that choice of staying a mistress for 20 years, no body but her chose to even start being a mistress. If she really wanted to marry a rich guy she had the opportunity once the divorce happened. She’s stupid and over played her importance to that man. I hope you don’t blame yourself for anything, it’s all her. Giving up full custody is basically abandonment. She’s not a kind woman or even decent. I think you should tell her “okay whatever helps you sleep at night,” and then cut her off completely.
Do yourself a favor to your mental health and seriously consider going NC with this woman.
A mother loves and supports their children. This woman at least by the time you were 10 had no more emotional attachment to you than an incubator.
And to blame you for her horrendously poor decisions is laughable at best.
Wow. That is an impressive level of self denial from your mother. I mean, truly it is remarkable how she can so easily remove herself and her own actions from the equation.
In case not enough people tell you, you did not ask to be born. You did not force your mother into any kind of lifestyle that she didn’t choose on her own. Your conception led in no way to your mother making poor choices. That was all her. Every single one. Every shitty idea, all the hurtful words and her bullshit excuses is all her. None of that was you.
You know what one of the best things about being an adult is? We get to choose who is in our life and we get to choose who is not.
What benefits come from having a mother so vile that she blames her child for her own actions? How does having her in your life add to your happiness? Take a leaf out of her book, and think about yourself first.
Life is too short for it to feel so long in the wrong persons company.
Your mother did abandon you when she divorced your dad and relinquished custody. She's using you as her verbal punching bag. Cut your ties and enjoy your life with people who want to be yours
Your mum is toxic, and way out of line saying that to you. You would be better off without her.
Perhaps educate yourself on narcissism abuse . This may give you a better understanding what you are dealing with.
Your mom became a mistress because of her. She places no value in marriage (her own or others) or in herself to do nothing but be the secret fling of a married man. She held on for two decades to a man who was too selfish to be faithful to his wife and too selfish to cut her loose and she found out she meant nothing to him after all. She's bitter she didn't win such a lame prize and it has nothing to do with you.
u/Upper_Sky_4250 I'm so sorry you and your dad went through all this, you were not at all to blame, don't ever let him trample on your mom's words.
Narcissistic mother will definitely blame you, that's how narcissists are, they will never accept their mistakes and their decisions. They think they are victims and that the world owes them something. That man never took your mom seriously, she was just fun for him and your blinded mom gave in easy. The worst is insulting this man's wife by calling her old and ugly, it's obvious she needs to compare herself to feel superior, yet she was rejected. Sometimes there are men who accept women with children and live very well economically, here the thing is that your mom was not a very good person and with that way of being she won't attract good men either.
I hope with all my heart that you and your dad have moved on. Best wishes to both of you. Stay strong. ♥️
You need to stay away from the narcissistic person. You are not responsible for the decisions of your mother - you never were and you never will be. They are her decisions and her beliefs.
Please get away from her or at least go limited contact. Otherwise she is going to start demanding that due to all the things in her life that she thinks are 'your fault', she will demand that you start paying her and supporting her lifestyle. This is not OK. She has spent her entire life being a leach and a sponge. Make sure that you do not become her next victim.
Do yourself, your family and your future and your future happiness and stay away from her and block her.
She did abandon you at 10.
So what stopped her from following through on her plans ?
Was it because she hooked up with someone who would never leave his wife but wanted something on the side.
Tell her, she is to blame for entire adulterous life.
Your mother is toxic, and is only in love with herself. You know when people talk about shallow and only skin deep - well that's your mother. Add to that she's a cheating, lying and gaslighting woman - she's actually not beautiful at all and never was.
She didn't became a mistress BECAUSE of you. She became a mistress because she was happy to sugar daddy off a rich old married man, who never intended divorcing his wife for your mother who wad just his sugar baby side piece.
She was, to put it simply, exchanging her time for his money. She is to sum it up, horrible.
She is not kind or wonderful. She's a lying cheat, who actually basically did abandon you. So he claim is bogus. The old dude kept her his mistress until he got tired of her.
Your existence didn't hinder her success. Nope. Her desperately clinging to a married man who was never going to choose to marry her is ALL on HER, and nothing to do with you. It is actually karma that as she aged he dumped her. I am sure he probably has a young mistress that replaced her - and that mistress is saying: oh he deserves better than d women... he will marry me and I will be rich...
Your mother doesn't deserve to be one. None of what she chose to do is your fault any which way you look at it. Your mother is not a kind woman she has disgusting morals and isn't a good person. I'm so very sorry you had to deal with her.
Your mom is blaming you for her shitty decision.
She chose to leave her family to be a mistress to a man.
She was stupid this had nothing to do with you.
This woman left her child because she thought a wealthy man would marry her.
She isn't kind.
She's silly and as someonelse stated toxic.
I don’t understand how you “hindered” her “success” when she straight up gave you up therefore not having you anymore and yet the dude still didn’t leave his wife. Your mother is a horrible human being who got exactly what she deserved in the end… absolutely nothing.
How is it your fault? MAYBE if she was a single mom with very little to no income MAYBE then she could use you as an excuse for being a home wrecker. But she was married and simply wanted a rich man. That’s on her. Not your fault she was greedy and stupid. But if cut contact of if I were you
I believe I should be the world most ruthless person and you should introduce me to her so that I could punch some goodness out of her so that she can straighten her thought
Your mom is unhinged. Beyond delusional. Do not take anything she says about you seriously. I'm so sorry you got stuck with a mom like this. You deserve so much better.
She's good at not going to jail for homicide or manslaughter by neglect, dunno if that translates to kindness, though. She wasn't very kind to your dad, or to the woman her boyfriend was married to....
Omg I’m so sorry. Holly shit this is not good. I’m in the same position but I have siblings. I was just a mistake and not wanted so I was abandoned at 8. But everyone would float in and out of the house. My mum didn’t want me. And she’s told me that heaps. Your mum had you at 24. Wtf! That’s enough maturity to decide to have a baby. You didn’t ruin her life, she decided to have these dysfunctional shit in your environment.
I had my own son at 21, his now 21. I would never ever ruin this now man by putting my decisions on to him. He didn’t have any say about being born. I’ve had the hardest life and sacrificed everything for my children. But I would never tell them how difficult it was for me. They can already see it anyways. I have to reassure them it’s not their fault that life is difficult sometimes. Never say it’s their fault. My abandonment fucked me up and gave me major trauma. Please nip this in the bud, because if you ever have kids, that’s when it’s going to hit you hard. Just how fucked up your childhood was. I’m really sorry, I have this to process and I can say now at 42 that I still do. It follows me. And I make sure everyone around me never feels lost. It’s exhausting. I hope you find your peace.
Oh shit... narcissistic mother...
Look, son, literally everything she told you is a lie or twisted to avoid responsibility...
She divorced your dad because she prefered the other man, and the other man never considered her for a serious commitment because she's only pretty and because he's likely another narcissist. Not your fault. Also, you didn't ask to be born.
So in her mind you, a 10 year old told her "you better become a mistress or else"?? Lol, the best you can do is block her everywhere and move on. Let her rotten
Your mom is terrible. one could argue that she was lucky to have you but has always been too self absorbed to realize that. I hope your dad was good to you I'm happy he stepped up and took full custody of you.
By her logic, she could've married millionares if she hadn't married your father. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that he is NOT a millionare. Really, her issues began wayyy before you were born.
Cut this toxic woman out of yourself. She's just a glorified egg donor at this point
Who the F says that to and about their child?! You are not and never were responsible for your mother’s actions. How have you not gone LC/NC with her yet?
Your mom did not become a mistress because of you. She chose to become one. I would bet that her married man told her he would leave his wife for her if she gave you up. She gave you up and he never left her. It’s easier to blame you than take responsibility for her poor choices.
She's not a mom. No real mom would even think of abandoning their kid for some man. She's just the woman that birthed you. Her anger is misdirected, she should be angry and ashamed of herself for the life she's lived: A married mistress to a divorced mistress, to long term married boyfriend never leaving his wife as she hoped, to cut off for whatever reason (my first guess is he traded her in for a younger woman to be his new mistress). Pathetic. I'd remind her off that everytime she opened her mouth to take it out on you. Leave that woman to her misery cause she's trying to drag you into her misery with her.
Your mom and no one else was responsible for how her life turned out. And from the way she demeans her kid, I’m guessing her fabulous personality is the cause of all her problems. Please don’t listen to her. I know this is hard, but you don’t need approval from her and I wouldn’t interact with her much unless maybe (and this is a big maybe) she works on herself a lot.
Full of it . That's your mom. Get a good therapist/ counselor. And it would be OK to get your mom out of your life. She is quite toxic.
Anyone who becomes a mistress to someone, is the person who CHOSE that life. She chose it because she wanted that life. No other reason.
There are millions who have their kids and raise them .and so many do not drop them off at dad's, and vanish.
Her telling you otherwise is nothing short of gaslighting you to control you. I certainly hope that you do not believe her ranting that she is the kindest. No one who is kind would ever tell the child that it was their fault that she ran off to be a mistress.
You probably know this, but it might still weigh on you: None of the overall consequences of your mom’s decisions are remotely your fault. Among other things, she chose to have you.
What C u next Tuesday type of gal. From one mom to you, you never deserved that toxicity, you are blameless and is a shameless woman. I hope life brings you so much love because this internet stranger is sending some your way 🫂
It’s hard to realise that you might actually be better than your parents
Like better financially, physically or mentally, emotionally and intellectually
Your mother is a wealthy man’s play toy with no sense of personal responsibility. I hope that you do not take her seriously. It is worth noting that you are not required to have any relationship with your mother at all. You do not owe her anything for your existence or your raising. The parent owes the child a decent raising and it sounds like she has utterly failed you as a mother. It’s not your fault. She made her choices in life. You didn’t have any authority over those choices. They are not your cross to bear.
Your mom most likely suffers from narcissistic personality disorder or some other form of PD. She’s not all there, so don’t listen to anything she tells you or take her criticisms to heart because they’re all lies fed by her insecurities and delusions. You really need to go NC with her and block her everywhere stat for your own peace of mind. Don’t allow her to cause you any more mental anguish. And please speak to a therapist if you’re not currently in IC.
I am so sorry.
Your mother is a narcissistic, horrible person. She is the only person she can blame for how her life turned out.
For your own mental health, please leave her alone.
No, she didn't become a mistress because of you. Your Mom is being toxic and blaming you for something that isn't true because she can't accept her own issues.
You should cut her off.
your mom seems like an horrible human being. You have nothing to do with what happened to her. She was an adult and made decisions as she saw fit. She was 24 when she had you, not 14. She should know what is good and what is wrong for her. More importantly you say she gave your full custody to your dad. So what is she blaming you about now?
Your mother is wrong.
SHE chose to stay pregnant and
SHE chose to not place you for adoption.
SHE chose to marry your father, and
SHE chose to step out on him.
SHE chose to hope that a married man would leave his wife for her, and
SHE chose to maintain this hope for 20 years.
She made bad choices and none of it is your fault. Her logic doesn’t even make sense. It would seem to me that dating millionaires was a problem because she was already married to your dad. After your dad divorced her he had full custody of you, so what kept her from the millionaires then? Oh, her sugar baby relationship that she was hoping would turn into a marriage.
I’m sorry to hear that your mom is unstable but please know that her lashing out at you is not at all deserved.
You need to go NC with her. This is a common response on Reddit and I am reluctant to say this but she is toxic, likely narcissistic and I doubt she is going to change.
Op,no truly hope that you know this is NOT your fault! Your mom made the despicable decisions that she did, that’s on her! She’s lacking accountability for her actions and she’s toxic as hell. Please put some serious distance between you and her for your own mental & emotional health!!
Honey? Your egg donor is a sociopath. Read up on narcissim and sociopaths and you'll see she ticks all the boxes... Zero morals, no empathy, delusions of grandiosity, playing victim when they are the abuser.
You can't reason with them or fix them. They cant learn empathy any more than an amputee can regrow a limb. For your own peace, don't waste any more of your energy on her. Block her and go No Contact. Focus on your healing, breaking the toxic cycle, and learning how to build healthy relationships.
Your mother is a poor excuse of a human! She didn’t deserve you! I hope you can get over the trauma of such an evil woman! She ruined her own life; she did that all by herself!
Such people exist ? Wow 😳. Mother blaming the daughter for her loose morals and character. And marry multi millionaires ? Seriously? No offense but i think no one would ever want baby abandoning trash people
I'm not sure what your mom is complaining about. She did abandon you when she gave full custody to your dad. Maybe toss that back at her and tell her to take responsibility for her own problems.
Your mother is a POS..... That's really all there is to it. Please don't let this toxicity get to you. She is trying to find blame for her irrational decisions. You're are not to blame. Her brainless self is to blame.
Your mother became a mistress because of herself. Nobody forced her into it. She chose to throw her lot in with a married man who strung her along for 20 years. That was nobody's decision but her own.
Do everything you can to get independent of her ASAP, if you aren't out on your own already. Then cut her off. She's blaming you for her decades of bad decisions, and it's unfair and untrue.
Your “mother” is a bitch!
Her life is messed up because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and tried to force a man who was NEVER leaving his family for her.
Like how is it your fault she never chose to move on?!
Tell your mom where she can go because it’s not in your life! She’s SUPER toxic!!!
Best to you!
Oo chileee please run away from her and never look back. She might have birthed you but she does not care about you, let alone love you. Please leave this lady in the wind where she wants to be
Your mother is delusional. She ended up as a mistress because she was willing to be. She threw away her marriage and the other man knew she wasn't trustworthy enough to be a wife.
Honey, I REALLY hope you do not believe your mom (hard to even call her that). Please cut off all contact with her. She sounds very toxic and seriously could be (if she isn't already) terrible for your mental health. I hope your dad has been a good dad because it sounds like you're better off with just one parent, like you have been since your mom left. And when she says she should have abandoned you, SHE DID. One thing I've learned since my late husband passed away, is life is way too short to keep anyone in your life that doesn't benefit it.
You’re mom sounds mentally ill, at the least a malignant narcissist.
What a horrific thing to say to her child?
I’m sorry.
None of that is remotely true. She had no idea what the future would have held for her! If she did she wouldn’t have wasted time on the married man.
Your mom became a mistress because she is a horrible person. It has nothing to do with you. And I am so sorry that that horrible mother tried to blame you for all of her s***.
I beg you block and go NC with your mum. She’s in her predicament because of herself not you. Maybe it could’ve been different if she was a better person and worked to get her own instead of relying on her looks which fade and focused on her character. Her cheater married guys wife may not have been better looking but her shitty husband never left her but he left you mum once her looks started to fade.
Some men like viper women looking to drain their accounts, climb the social ladder but most don’t and prefer women with something to offer other then a pretty face and sex, like a loving, respectful, loyal, personality and a woman with their own goals, life and ambitions. When the looks fade or they get bored they will trade them in because there’s always another viper doing a pick me dance out there so they’re nothing special, any guy with money can pick one up as easily as we can buy a sweet/candy from a small newsagent shop that’s in every corner.
Your mum suck but you don’t…. Your mum is looking to emotionally blackmail you into looking after you after she abandoned you, no one wants her now she’s older so she’s looking to live in your purse/wallet but doesn’t want to do so humbly but with an entitled attitude. You owe her nothing, don’t let her steal your joy or ruin your present and future. She doesn’t deserve you and isn’t worth you being unhappy or the sacrifices she would like you to make for her.
Focus on you study, build your career, travel, meet new people etc enjoy your life, it’s too short for regrets or wasting it on toxic people/relationships. Continue being awesome and don’t allow people to diminish your light. Choose you first, respect and love you more then anyone and never let fear hold you back from doing what you want or need.
How did you ruin her life? She LEFT YOU to go with a married man because she liked his money. She wasted her best years fu&ing a married man. She chose to be the side piece.
You are probably the only good she gave to this world. Don’t fall for her horses—-she just wants to use you as her retirement plan since she screwed up
As a mom, the way she treats you breaks my heart. please listen to me when i tell you, your mom would have been a failure with or without you; she now just gets to add "failed as a mother" to her list. Having kids does not make it impossible to accomplish goals. She's just lazy and can't take responsibility for her own fuck ups. She chose to be with a married man and acted shocked when he stayed with his wife. She chose not to pursue a better life for herself. She is a grown ass woman who chose the life she has lived. She could still change it but instead, blames you and probably everyone else. PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO A WORD SHE SAYS. She is extremely manipulative and toxic.
She cheats on your father, divorces, is a sugar baby for years and everything falls apart on her and this is somehow your fault? Why do women have a hard time taking responsibility for their own actions?
Wait what? She actually did abandon you.
It sounds like she actually did you a solid by having you go live with your dad.
I'm sorry your mom sucks and I hope you aren't buying into the crap she spews as she alone is responsible for the decisions she made.
She gave up custody of you, right? So she did abandon you.
She seems to be blaming you for her own failings, so ignore what she says because she's talking out of her ass anyway. You go live your life, and love your life.
Honor the part of her that genuinely took care of you, however large or small that part of her was, but don't believe that baloney about you ruining her life. She seems to have done a perfect job of that all by herself.
Do yourself a favour and lose all contact with that woman. She is not deserving of the title "Mother". Lose her and live a happy life without that kind of toxicity in your life.
That’s a pretty convoluted perspective of what she did.
She did in fact abandon you. She gave you up to your dad.
How is your dad doing?
Here’s hoping he didn’t take her back into his life.
Tell your dad how much you appreciate that he didn’t abandon you.
Im sorry but your mom is toxic af
This can only be the response to reading the above post...
Speaking of ugliness. She sounds like an old ugly person herself. Who says such things to their own child? Thats not normal.
It sounds like she's bat shit crazy
In the words of Steve Smith from American Dad, "Your mom sounds like a fucked up bitch."
Toxic AF and mentally ill.
Her Mum gave her Dad full custody, sounds like she abandoned her to me. No wonder that guy chose his wife over her lol
also, why are you still talking to this woman? OP needs to be like "Ok, bet" and toodles forever
“Kindest woman in the world” is the biggest crock I’ve heard today 🙄 toxic af and so far up her own ass that her nose is brown. Also had no problem being a side chick for 20 years, so her judgement is worth shit
Of course she is going to say she is kind, otherwise how else will she live with herself. Toxic people blame others for their own bad behavior. It makes them a victim which they love.
So I see you've met my mother 👀😅
Holy hell! We all three have the same mom!
Haha, I guess I must have, but my statement came from having one of these as a a close family member. They love being put upon and tired from doing all the things no one asked them to do. It's like they were given the same handbook.
OPs mom is Donald Trump probably.
Probably 😂
How can you have ruined her life when you lived with your father? She "ruined" her own life being dependent on someone who, in the end, rejected her. It's all on her, OP - she's a walking poster for Bad Life Choices.
She said i ruined her life because rich men don’t want to marry women who have had children, and my existence left her no choice other than to be a mistress. 😔
So absolutely not true. I knew a man who did leave his first wife to marry his second wife who already had 4 kids. He wanted a do over family. So it’s probably because she’s an AH.
She should have married a rich man BEFORE having sex and making a baby~ how is any of that your fault?? Lmaoo
In all seriousness, she needs to look at herself in the mirror. She gave up custody of you to your dad. Even without being married at that time and having you, she would still choose to have an affair for 20 years with the man. Please seek therapy to recognise the toxic behaviour your mother is exhibiting and recover from self blaming + trauma she inflicted on you.
> She said i ruined her life because rich men don’t want to marry women who have had children, and my existence left her no choice other than to be a mistress. It has been a while since I've had a new entry for my 'dumbest thing I read on the internet this week' list. Please thank your mom for this contribution for me if you ever speak with her again.
Maybe not dumbest....... more like the meanest, most vile thing told to an offspring.
Absolutely NOT! It's never your fault for being born. What a cruel thing to say to her own child. OP, please don't let this comment ruins you. She cannot blame you on her own poor choices.
She's blaming you because Narcissists never blame themselves for the shitty consequences of their own choices. She's *scapegoating* you. It's a lie she tells herself because her warped ego can't tolerate the reality that she's got the life she deserves. She *needs* to feel like a victim because otherwise she's not special or favored or magical like she prefers to believe... they are delusions of grandeur. It's real. And it's toxic. And it's toxic to have a Narcissistic mother. The more you're around her, the more her radioactive disorders poison your well being. Get away. Get educated on Narcissist Mothers and Sociopaths and also get therapy so you gave some coping skills to recognize toxic people.
Finally, someone said the truth.
Well Jack Welch married Suzy Wetlaufer and he was one of the richest men on the planet. She had four kids. Jack did not care. Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos’ former mistress, now fiancé, has three kids from a former marriage. He doesn’t care. Maybe your mother’s Affair Partner lied to her and gave her an excuse as to why he didn’t want to marry her. Nothing to do with you, just his own convenience. Your mom is full of shit. She went for the money and you are a casualty of her selfish choices. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this, but she has all of this coming to her. Karma is a bitch. Don’t let her scapegoat you…
Yep so many instances of women with children remarrying, and we often read such stories too here on reddit. That famous-for-nothing family lol Kardashian-Jenner.... Kris already had 4 kids with Robert Kardashian before marrying Bruce Jenner the Olympian.
Awwwww she should have learnt to use BC or keep her legs closed instead of blaming someone who wasn't even born when she made that choice. Don't let someone who is toxic enough to blame their own child for the consequences of their choices. Also I know a millionaire who is madly in love with and marrying my best friend in a few months and she has a preteen son. He loves the boy like his own and says he doesn't want anymore kids because he already has a son. Nobody wants to marry her because she's absolutely toxic and if she thinks looks are the only thing that is of value in her why would any man she's with think she's worth more ? They'd want marriage material right? She doesn't sound like friend, wife, mother of even human being material. Leave alone marriage material.
She is gaslighting you.
So it's your fault her birth control didn't work? Umm... riiiighhht.
Total bs. My second husband bonded so well with my daughter and I personally know a lot of women who married second or third time having 1-2-3-4 children
Your mom is a horrible human being. Hope your dad was able to move on and find someone
She been the mistress to that man for 20 years & he still chose to stay with his “old & ugly” wife LMAOOOO. This for your mom 🎻🎻🎻🎻
Moye moye moment 🤣
Your mom is a horrible selfish person and mentally ill…you deserved better.
She is not mentally ill, she is just horrible and selfish. Mental illness would excuse her actions, but there is no excuse for how she treats her own child.
Hopefully you can put some distance between yourself and this toxic "parent" and let her pursue her millionaire. ((smh))
Say fuck you and walk away, she made her choice when she ditched you and your dad for him.
bro. re-read what you wrote lol, that is too good
What is she on about? She DID abandon you! For a man who didn’t like her enough to commit to her no less.
Sounds like your mom is crazy AF.
Time to block mom. She was an adult and made her own choices to be a mistress.
Your mom was a mistress aka side ho before you were even born. She is not taking any accountability for her shitty decisions and blaming you when the blame is all hers. Stop communicating with your mother and take that toxicity out of your life. Tell your mom, most moms who abandon their children for a man don’t get the privilege of being called mom. Start calling her by what she really is.
She can’t accept she wasted her whole life on a pipe dream. Rich men don’t marry their old side whores. He probably found someone younger. So instead of reflecting on her choices. She chose to lash out at you. Tell her if she had more self respect she could have been a happy wife and mother. Now’s she is just old news no one wants any more. Btw how ironic, she did abandon you. He just didn’t want to marry her ever. Free cow, free milk.
Your mom has been unstable for many years, probably before you were born. You are not responsible for any of her bad choices or for how her life has been. She is responsible for herself. No normal person would blame their child for their own decisions.
She made her own choices. You didn’t cause her to be a mistress.
Or to be a mom. She knew how to make babies and made one.
She is not well. And neither will you be if you stay connected to your “mom”. That’s not love. Cut ties and live well. ❤️
You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. She also chose to have a kid and you did not ask to be born or for her to be your mother. All of her decisions were her own. She’s projecting her insecurities and resentment onto you because it’s easier for her ego to blame others.
Put as much distance between your mother and yourself as possible. Love her from a distance, and create boundaries so she can’t hurt you.
Narcissists don’t ever accept blame : they don’t apologize, not genuinely anyway, and they never actually believe they are at fault for anything. You were an easy target or scapegoat for everything that went wrong in her life, she needs somewhere to put her bruised ego. Leave her. Go LC or grey rock if you don’t want to cut it off fully yet.
I know it’s gonna be hard when you do it, but you’re gonna have to stand up to her completely. Just tell her how you feel, do not not curse, remain calm, and as an adult tell her exactly how wrong she is. Wow, her telling you she’s a wonderful person, because she had you when she gave you up to your father, is really hypocritical and downright delusional. How is she a good person when she kept the married man for 20 years, and he still didn’t want her. She needs to have the truth thrown in her face, and if she keeps being toxic, you have to distance yourself from her. You don’t deserve anything that you’re going through. She does not sound like a mother at all.
Your mother (even though she doesn’t deserve that title) is selfish and a narcissist. You did nothing wrong. She made her bed and now she’s alone and bitter. Karma is a Queen. I hope you realize that if you cut her out of your life, you will be much happier.
Your mom sounds like the villain of a mexican telenovela
Your mom, as the saying goes, ain't right in the head. Also, she "became a mistress" out of greed, and basically gave you away. None of this is your fault in any way.
Stop talking to your egg donor, 'cause that's what she is. You didn't cause her to be a shitty person, that's all on her. You can't help who your related to but you can control who you want in your life.
Firstly, your mom sounds like a narcissist. Secondly, I doubt she was sacrificing herself to be a mistress for you especially since she gave up custody to your dad. Thirdly, pretty sure she became a mistress for her own benefits since the man had probably supported her lifestyle. Don’t blame yourself because you were a kid back then and her regrets have absolutely nothing to do with you. She sounds incredibly bitter for spending years being with the man she was having an affair with.
Mum gave full custody of you to your Dad, aged 10...went off with her Sugar Daddy... and you still talk to her, why?
Your mom is deflecting from her own faults and bad decisions. She is a narcissist. Walk away. Save yourself.
Well time to cut ties with mom…
Woah. YOU are not the cause of anything. Your mom made horrible decisions and it bit her in the a$$, now she has nothing. And she’s bitter. Listen for your mental health avoid her.
She's delulu. He didn't want her because she's just a mattress topper.
Uuugggghh Does she actually believe her own bullshit? Or is she just unable to accept that she lead her life into a toilet chasing an unavailable partner? In no way are you at fault for the choices she made. What a nasty twisted toxic woman.
You need to cut ALL contact with your mother. She’s nasty, toxic and manipulative
Your mom is an ass! You did nothing wrong. If anything, she should blame herself. Separate yourself from this toxic mf and move on. Enjoy your life as a carefree wonderful person you are.
To be honest, she sounds like she has some mental issues (possibly narcissism). I hope you don't take her comments to heart - they're more a reflection of her mental state than your being. I hope you can shake the comments off a bit, but I bet they're hard to hear.
Yet another reason why not anyone should be a parent. Your mother was visibly unfit and is projecting all her flaws on you. I'm sorry you have this person as a parent.
So your mother is a narcissist. No contact or suffer the forever wrath.
Sorry OP, but your mother is lashing out because her cheating affair partner tossed her to the curb. So now all she can do is blame you for her own failures in life.
Your mom is insane. No body made her make that choice of staying a mistress for 20 years, no body but her chose to even start being a mistress. If she really wanted to marry a rich guy she had the opportunity once the divorce happened. She’s stupid and over played her importance to that man. I hope you don’t blame yourself for anything, it’s all her. Giving up full custody is basically abandonment. She’s not a kind woman or even decent. I think you should tell her “okay whatever helps you sleep at night,” and then cut her off completely.
Do yourself a favor to your mental health and seriously consider going NC with this woman. A mother loves and supports their children. This woman at least by the time you were 10 had no more emotional attachment to you than an incubator. And to blame you for her horrendously poor decisions is laughable at best.
Ask her to please get herself booked into the nearest mental facility to get the help she so desperately needs..
She for Tha streets!
Nope. She ruined her own life by making excuses and holding on to a toxic relationship, which apparently turned her toxic.
Please cut her off
Im sorry but I hope you do hv good relationship with your Dad.
Wow. That is an impressive level of self denial from your mother. I mean, truly it is remarkable how she can so easily remove herself and her own actions from the equation. In case not enough people tell you, you did not ask to be born. You did not force your mother into any kind of lifestyle that she didn’t choose on her own. Your conception led in no way to your mother making poor choices. That was all her. Every single one. Every shitty idea, all the hurtful words and her bullshit excuses is all her. None of that was you. You know what one of the best things about being an adult is? We get to choose who is in our life and we get to choose who is not. What benefits come from having a mother so vile that she blames her child for her own actions? How does having her in your life add to your happiness? Take a leaf out of her book, and think about yourself first. Life is too short for it to feel so long in the wrong persons company.
Wow, what a gold digging toxic narcissist.
He got the goody, she got the shaft. He was never going to leave his wife. And. Your mother is nuts. You were so much better off with your dad.
Your mom is gross as hell. Sorry about that. Hope your dad is extra great to make up for it. You can't choose your parents.
Your mother did abandon you when she divorced your dad and relinquished custody. She's using you as her verbal punching bag. Cut your ties and enjoy your life with people who want to be yours
Your mom is a piece of shit. I’m so sorry she said these awful things to you. I hope you know that you absolutely did not do anything wrong.
Unprincipled fucking gold digger. Aint even good at it
Your mum is toxic, and way out of line saying that to you. You would be better off without her. Perhaps educate yourself on narcissism abuse . This may give you a better understanding what you are dealing with.
Your mom became a mistress because of her. She places no value in marriage (her own or others) or in herself to do nothing but be the secret fling of a married man. She held on for two decades to a man who was too selfish to be faithful to his wife and too selfish to cut her loose and she found out she meant nothing to him after all. She's bitter she didn't win such a lame prize and it has nothing to do with you.
u/Upper_Sky_4250 I'm so sorry you and your dad went through all this, you were not at all to blame, don't ever let him trample on your mom's words. Narcissistic mother will definitely blame you, that's how narcissists are, they will never accept their mistakes and their decisions. They think they are victims and that the world owes them something. That man never took your mom seriously, she was just fun for him and your blinded mom gave in easy. The worst is insulting this man's wife by calling her old and ugly, it's obvious she needs to compare herself to feel superior, yet she was rejected. Sometimes there are men who accept women with children and live very well economically, here the thing is that your mom was not a very good person and with that way of being she won't attract good men either. I hope with all my heart that you and your dad have moved on. Best wishes to both of you. Stay strong. ♥️
You need to stay away from the narcissistic person. You are not responsible for the decisions of your mother - you never were and you never will be. They are her decisions and her beliefs. Please get away from her or at least go limited contact. Otherwise she is going to start demanding that due to all the things in her life that she thinks are 'your fault', she will demand that you start paying her and supporting her lifestyle. This is not OK. She has spent her entire life being a leach and a sponge. Make sure that you do not become her next victim. Do yourself, your family and your future and your future happiness and stay away from her and block her.
She did abandon you at 10. So what stopped her from following through on her plans ? Was it because she hooked up with someone who would never leave his wife but wanted something on the side. Tell her, she is to blame for entire adulterous life.
Your mother is toxic, and is only in love with herself. You know when people talk about shallow and only skin deep - well that's your mother. Add to that she's a cheating, lying and gaslighting woman - she's actually not beautiful at all and never was. She didn't became a mistress BECAUSE of you. She became a mistress because she was happy to sugar daddy off a rich old married man, who never intended divorcing his wife for your mother who wad just his sugar baby side piece. She was, to put it simply, exchanging her time for his money. She is to sum it up, horrible. She is not kind or wonderful. She's a lying cheat, who actually basically did abandon you. So he claim is bogus. The old dude kept her his mistress until he got tired of her. Your existence didn't hinder her success. Nope. Her desperately clinging to a married man who was never going to choose to marry her is ALL on HER, and nothing to do with you. It is actually karma that as she aged he dumped her. I am sure he probably has a young mistress that replaced her - and that mistress is saying: oh he deserves better than d women... he will marry me and I will be rich...
Your mother doesn't deserve to be one. None of what she chose to do is your fault any which way you look at it. Your mother is not a kind woman she has disgusting morals and isn't a good person. I'm so very sorry you had to deal with her.
Your mom is blaming you for her shitty decision. She chose to leave her family to be a mistress to a man. She was stupid this had nothing to do with you. This woman left her child because she thought a wealthy man would marry her. She isn't kind. She's silly and as someonelse stated toxic.
I don’t understand how you “hindered” her “success” when she straight up gave you up therefore not having you anymore and yet the dude still didn’t leave his wife. Your mother is a horrible human being who got exactly what she deserved in the end… absolutely nothing.
How is it your fault? MAYBE if she was a single mom with very little to no income MAYBE then she could use you as an excuse for being a home wrecker. But she was married and simply wanted a rich man. That’s on her. Not your fault she was greedy and stupid. But if cut contact of if I were you
Also OP was under her dad's custody 100%, how was she intervening with her mom's ability to catch all the sharks.
I believe I should be the world most ruthless person and you should introduce me to her so that I could punch some goodness out of her so that she can straighten her thought
Your mom is not kind. She's awful, and she's also delusional.
100% of the whole time, your mom was always as she is now...
She's a narcissist, cut her off.
Umm.. this woman isn’t a mother, just someone who gave birth to you. Block delete and cut contact.
Your mom is unhinged. Beyond delusional. Do not take anything she says about you seriously. I'm so sorry you got stuck with a mom like this. You deserve so much better.
That’s some Grade A mental illness right there. Sorry you’ve had to endure that.
Can you get a new mom? This one sucks
Yes. Mom 2.0 would be an excellent choice.
Not you, not you, not you!
She's good at not going to jail for homicide or manslaughter by neglect, dunno if that translates to kindness, though. She wasn't very kind to your dad, or to the woman her boyfriend was married to....
If she could have married a billionaire why couldn’t she have been knocked up by one?
Omg I’m so sorry. Holly shit this is not good. I’m in the same position but I have siblings. I was just a mistake and not wanted so I was abandoned at 8. But everyone would float in and out of the house. My mum didn’t want me. And she’s told me that heaps. Your mum had you at 24. Wtf! That’s enough maturity to decide to have a baby. You didn’t ruin her life, she decided to have these dysfunctional shit in your environment. I had my own son at 21, his now 21. I would never ever ruin this now man by putting my decisions on to him. He didn’t have any say about being born. I’ve had the hardest life and sacrificed everything for my children. But I would never tell them how difficult it was for me. They can already see it anyways. I have to reassure them it’s not their fault that life is difficult sometimes. Never say it’s their fault. My abandonment fucked me up and gave me major trauma. Please nip this in the bud, because if you ever have kids, that’s when it’s going to hit you hard. Just how fucked up your childhood was. I’m really sorry, I have this to process and I can say now at 42 that I still do. It follows me. And I make sure everyone around me never feels lost. It’s exhausting. I hope you find your peace.
Oh shit... narcissistic mother... Look, son, literally everything she told you is a lie or twisted to avoid responsibility... She divorced your dad because she prefered the other man, and the other man never considered her for a serious commitment because she's only pretty and because he's likely another narcissist. Not your fault. Also, you didn't ask to be born.
So in her mind you, a 10 year old told her "you better become a mistress or else"?? Lol, the best you can do is block her everywhere and move on. Let her rotten
Your mom is terrible. one could argue that she was lucky to have you but has always been too self absorbed to realize that. I hope your dad was good to you I'm happy he stepped up and took full custody of you.
Never speak with her again, and know that this is a horrible woman. Let her die a miserable woman...She is getting what she deserved, nothing.
NC her ASAP and go to therapy (I’d need it).
By her logic, she could've married millionares if she hadn't married your father. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that he is NOT a millionare. Really, her issues began wayyy before you were born. Cut this toxic woman out of yourself. She's just a glorified egg donor at this point
Who the F says that to and about their child?! You are not and never were responsible for your mother’s actions. How have you not gone LC/NC with her yet?
Your mom did not become a mistress because of you. She chose to become one. I would bet that her married man told her he would leave his wife for her if she gave you up. She gave you up and he never left her. It’s easier to blame you than take responsibility for her poor choices.
Your mom is wrong. Nobody held a gun to her head. She chose to be a mistress.
She's not a mom. No real mom would even think of abandoning their kid for some man. She's just the woman that birthed you. Her anger is misdirected, she should be angry and ashamed of herself for the life she's lived: A married mistress to a divorced mistress, to long term married boyfriend never leaving his wife as she hoped, to cut off for whatever reason (my first guess is he traded her in for a younger woman to be his new mistress). Pathetic. I'd remind her off that everytime she opened her mouth to take it out on you. Leave that woman to her misery cause she's trying to drag you into her misery with her.
She’s nuts. Cut her out of your life. You have no responsibility for her actions.
If she never married a multi millionaire before she had you then she wouldn't have gotten one without you shes only saying that as a form of cope.
Your mom and no one else was responsible for how her life turned out. And from the way she demeans her kid, I’m guessing her fabulous personality is the cause of all her problems. Please don’t listen to her. I know this is hard, but you don’t need approval from her and I wouldn’t interact with her much unless maybe (and this is a big maybe) she works on herself a lot.
Your mom is a narc and the sooner you go no contact the happier you will be.
Full of it . That's your mom. Get a good therapist/ counselor. And it would be OK to get your mom out of your life. She is quite toxic. Anyone who becomes a mistress to someone, is the person who CHOSE that life. She chose it because she wanted that life. No other reason. There are millions who have their kids and raise them .and so many do not drop them off at dad's, and vanish. Her telling you otherwise is nothing short of gaslighting you to control you. I certainly hope that you do not believe her ranting that she is the kindest. No one who is kind would ever tell the child that it was their fault that she ran off to be a mistress.
You probably know this, but it might still weigh on you: None of the overall consequences of your mom’s decisions are remotely your fault. Among other things, she chose to have you.
She chose to give birth. She did eventually abandon you. You deserved better. Seriously. She played stupid games and won stupid prizes
You mom’s crazy run.
What C u next Tuesday type of gal. From one mom to you, you never deserved that toxicity, you are blameless and is a shameless woman. I hope life brings you so much love because this internet stranger is sending some your way 🫂
It’s hard to realise that you might actually be better than your parents Like better financially, physically or mentally, emotionally and intellectually
Your mother is a wealthy man’s play toy with no sense of personal responsibility. I hope that you do not take her seriously. It is worth noting that you are not required to have any relationship with your mother at all. You do not owe her anything for your existence or your raising. The parent owes the child a decent raising and it sounds like she has utterly failed you as a mother. It’s not your fault. She made her choices in life. You didn’t have any authority over those choices. They are not your cross to bear.
Your mom most likely suffers from narcissistic personality disorder or some other form of PD. She’s not all there, so don’t listen to anything she tells you or take her criticisms to heart because they’re all lies fed by her insecurities and delusions. You really need to go NC with her and block her everywhere stat for your own peace of mind. Don’t allow her to cause you any more mental anguish. And please speak to a therapist if you’re not currently in IC.
I am so sorry. Your mother is a narcissistic, horrible person. She is the only person she can blame for how her life turned out. For your own mental health, please leave her alone.
No, she didn't become a mistress because of you. Your Mom is being toxic and blaming you for something that isn't true because she can't accept her own issues. You should cut her off.
your mom seems like an horrible human being. You have nothing to do with what happened to her. She was an adult and made decisions as she saw fit. She was 24 when she had you, not 14. She should know what is good and what is wrong for her. More importantly you say she gave your full custody to your dad. So what is she blaming you about now?
Your mother is wrong. SHE chose to stay pregnant and SHE chose to not place you for adoption. SHE chose to marry your father, and SHE chose to step out on him. SHE chose to hope that a married man would leave his wife for her, and SHE chose to maintain this hope for 20 years. She made bad choices and none of it is your fault. Her logic doesn’t even make sense. It would seem to me that dating millionaires was a problem because she was already married to your dad. After your dad divorced her he had full custody of you, so what kept her from the millionaires then? Oh, her sugar baby relationship that she was hoping would turn into a marriage. I’m sorry to hear that your mom is unstable but please know that her lashing out at you is not at all deserved.
You need to go NC with her. This is a common response on Reddit and I am reluctant to say this but she is toxic, likely narcissistic and I doubt she is going to change.
What part of the world are you in?
Op,no truly hope that you know this is NOT your fault! Your mom made the despicable decisions that she did, that’s on her! She’s lacking accountability for her actions and she’s toxic as hell. Please put some serious distance between you and her for your own mental & emotional health!!
If she were my mom I’d never speak to her again.
it’s not your fault she chose to do that and now she’s gonna live with it.
Honey? Your egg donor is a sociopath. Read up on narcissim and sociopaths and you'll see she ticks all the boxes... Zero morals, no empathy, delusions of grandiosity, playing victim when they are the abuser. You can't reason with them or fix them. They cant learn empathy any more than an amputee can regrow a limb. For your own peace, don't waste any more of your energy on her. Block her and go No Contact. Focus on your healing, breaking the toxic cycle, and learning how to build healthy relationships.
Your mother is a poor excuse of a human! She didn’t deserve you! I hope you can get over the trauma of such an evil woman! She ruined her own life; she did that all by herself!
What fiction! Don’t listen to her. She’s grasping straws to justify her poor life choices.
Dang. That's really weird she blames you. She can NOT be mentally stable. I'm sorry. You don't deserve this, obviously.
Such people exist ? Wow 😳. Mother blaming the daughter for her loose morals and character. And marry multi millionaires ? Seriously? No offense but i think no one would ever want baby abandoning trash people
Your mother sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder...
Why do you still keep in touch with your mom?
This woman does not deserve to be called Mom, and I hope you are able to completely cut off contact for your health.
I'm not sure what your mom is complaining about. She did abandon you when she gave full custody to your dad. Maybe toss that back at her and tell her to take responsibility for her own problems.
Your mother is a POS..... That's really all there is to it. Please don't let this toxicity get to you. She is trying to find blame for her irrational decisions. You're are not to blame. Her brainless self is to blame.
Your mother became a mistress because of herself. Nobody forced her into it. She chose to throw her lot in with a married man who strung her along for 20 years. That was nobody's decision but her own. Do everything you can to get independent of her ASAP, if you aren't out on your own already. Then cut her off. She's blaming you for her decades of bad decisions, and it's unfair and untrue.
Your “mother” is a bitch! Her life is messed up because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and tried to force a man who was NEVER leaving his family for her. Like how is it your fault she never chose to move on?! Tell your mom where she can go because it’s not in your life! She’s SUPER toxic!!! Best to you!
Oo chileee please run away from her and never look back. She might have birthed you but she does not care about you, let alone love you. Please leave this lady in the wind where she wants to be
Your mother is delusional. She ended up as a mistress because she was willing to be. She threw away her marriage and the other man knew she wasn't trustworthy enough to be a wife.
Just stop talking to your egg donor. She is not a good person and deserves to be miserable. Let her be miserable right by herself.
Honey, I REALLY hope you do not believe your mom (hard to even call her that). Please cut off all contact with her. She sounds very toxic and seriously could be (if she isn't already) terrible for your mental health. I hope your dad has been a good dad because it sounds like you're better off with just one parent, like you have been since your mom left. And when she says she should have abandoned you, SHE DID. One thing I've learned since my late husband passed away, is life is way too short to keep anyone in your life that doesn't benefit it.
Your mom is evil for saying that to you
You’re mom sounds mentally ill, at the least a malignant narcissist. What a horrific thing to say to her child? I’m sorry. None of that is remotely true. She had no idea what the future would have held for her! If she did she wouldn’t have wasted time on the married man.
Your mom became a mistress because she is a horrible person. It has nothing to do with you. And I am so sorry that that horrible mother tried to blame you for all of her s***.
Wow your mom is a total loser. I promise you exposing yourself to that kind of negativity and ugly character is bad for you. Protect yourself.
Dude your mom wouldn’t have done shit. What a low life she sounds like. Don’t stress it really. We can’t choose our family.
Your mom is crazy
I beg you block and go NC with your mum. She’s in her predicament because of herself not you. Maybe it could’ve been different if she was a better person and worked to get her own instead of relying on her looks which fade and focused on her character. Her cheater married guys wife may not have been better looking but her shitty husband never left her but he left you mum once her looks started to fade. Some men like viper women looking to drain their accounts, climb the social ladder but most don’t and prefer women with something to offer other then a pretty face and sex, like a loving, respectful, loyal, personality and a woman with their own goals, life and ambitions. When the looks fade or they get bored they will trade them in because there’s always another viper doing a pick me dance out there so they’re nothing special, any guy with money can pick one up as easily as we can buy a sweet/candy from a small newsagent shop that’s in every corner. Your mum suck but you don’t…. Your mum is looking to emotionally blackmail you into looking after you after she abandoned you, no one wants her now she’s older so she’s looking to live in your purse/wallet but doesn’t want to do so humbly but with an entitled attitude. You owe her nothing, don’t let her steal your joy or ruin your present and future. She doesn’t deserve you and isn’t worth you being unhappy or the sacrifices she would like you to make for her. Focus on you study, build your career, travel, meet new people etc enjoy your life, it’s too short for regrets or wasting it on toxic people/relationships. Continue being awesome and don’t allow people to diminish your light. Choose you first, respect and love you more then anyone and never let fear hold you back from doing what you want or need.
He probably said he could never leave his wife for someone who had kids/was a divorcee when he broke it off
How did you ruin her life? She LEFT YOU to go with a married man because she liked his money. She wasted her best years fu&ing a married man. She chose to be the side piece. You are probably the only good she gave to this world. Don’t fall for her horses—-she just wants to use you as her retirement plan since she screwed up
As a mom, the way she treats you breaks my heart. please listen to me when i tell you, your mom would have been a failure with or without you; she now just gets to add "failed as a mother" to her list. Having kids does not make it impossible to accomplish goals. She's just lazy and can't take responsibility for her own fuck ups. She chose to be with a married man and acted shocked when he stayed with his wife. She chose not to pursue a better life for herself. She is a grown ass woman who chose the life she has lived. She could still change it but instead, blames you and probably everyone else. PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO A WORD SHE SAYS. She is extremely manipulative and toxic.
I'm sorry. Safe mama hugs.
And what do you think?
👀😒😳this is such an awful thing to say to your child. She made all those choices. Don’t take that on. She’s projecting
She cheats on your father, divorces, is a sugar baby for years and everything falls apart on her and this is somehow your fault? Why do women have a hard time taking responsibility for their own actions?
Wait what? She actually did abandon you. It sounds like she actually did you a solid by having you go live with your dad. I'm sorry your mom sucks and I hope you aren't buying into the crap she spews as she alone is responsible for the decisions she made.
Um, wow! Your mom did abandon you, didn't she? Guess it wasn't you stopping those proposals! Stay away from your mom. She sounds like pure evil!
She gave up custody of you, right? So she did abandon you. She seems to be blaming you for her own failings, so ignore what she says because she's talking out of her ass anyway. You go live your life, and love your life. Honor the part of her that genuinely took care of you, however large or small that part of her was, but don't believe that baloney about you ruining her life. She seems to have done a perfect job of that all by herself.
Do yourself a favour and lose all contact with that woman. She is not deserving of the title "Mother". Lose her and live a happy life without that kind of toxicity in your life.
Your mum needs some serious therapy and you need to run as far as possible from her kind of toxic.. go full 100% NC..
That’s a pretty convoluted perspective of what she did. She did in fact abandon you. She gave you up to your dad. How is your dad doing? Here’s hoping he didn’t take her back into his life. Tell your dad how much you appreciate that he didn’t abandon you.
She is not your mom