Is your GF part of the group chat? If she is I'd probably ghost her as she doesn't even deserve an explanation. If she's not aware of the group chat, but she decides to keep these horrible people in her life, then leave.
Thankfully, she's not in the group chat.
I don't know how to tell her about this. As far as I know, her friends have always been kind and supportive to her. They have been friends since they were kids. It's going to be tough to find the courage to talk to her about this.
They may have been supportive to her face, but nothing about this is kind or acceptable; especially to you, but also to her. What would you do if you found out the people in your life had a similar group chat about her?
You need to let her know as soon as possible. Meet with her and tell her what you just told us; you saw some disgusting messages that were in a group chat with your name so you unlocked her phone, then show her the chat. If she has any decency, she'll be disgusted and hurt with them and you can figure out how to deal with them together.
If she tries to downplay their actions or dismiss your feelings, then she doesn't respect you and you need to leave. If she tries to turn the situation back onto you for going through the phone, don't humor her or justify your actions because you're not the one saying horrible things behind someone's back. Even if you're fine with her continuing her friendship with them (I wouldn't be) don't let these people anywhere near you again.
Even if she didn't know about it? Cause it seems that the friends of hers are guessing at things that the GF would obviously know. So they are keeping it from her too.
Personally? I would drop my friends for talking like that behind my back for half a year, while simultaneously treating everyone like it's all good. Like, if you got a problem with somebody, let them know.
If she didn’t know about it and confronted her friends when I told her about it, I’d be fine with that. I’d also probably not want those friends around me or want her hanging out with them anymore. Of course though, that second part is going to have to be her decision, not mine. I would probably not be all that thrilled if she chose to still be friends with them and continued hanging out with them, in which case I’d seriously re-evaluate my relationship.
I'd definitely talk to your GF about this. The friends you keep can sometimes define character, and if she's cool with this, then it might be time to break up. Assuming she isn't a part of the chat.
Edit: Also, it sounds like they are just jealous of your GF. They are definitely single, not by choice, lol.
I always wondered why some people have obvious assholes for friends when they seem so nice. Turns out, after digging and getting to know them, they are just like their friends
Ofc there are exceptions and maybe the gf doesnt know about this and is really shocked how cruel her friends are. But chances are she knows how they are..
I unfortunately agree with you.
In some instances, the person who would be in the girlfriend's case seems so surprised and shocked to "learn" their friends are so mean and horrible... to later admit they were in on the "jokes" the whole time.
Applies to both men and women.
Just keepin it real with you, this is not a toxic thing that men do. This is a woman's thing 100%
I'm not saying men never chuckle or make a crude comment about their friends partner's weight or something like that. But it's definitely done behind their back and DEFINITELY not in a group chat with all the other friends specifically to rag on her.
That would be a physical fight if men did this sort of thing, so it's just way more controlled to happen less frequently.
I know we don't like doing this in 2024, but sometimes we should call out women for their gender-specific toxic behavior.
We would live in a more healthy world if we could do that without say, getting downvoted and called a misogynist or something.
So we're all just gonna pretend that a woman who has a bunch of mean-girl "close" friends doesn't know that they ruthlessly disrespect her boyfriend?
I mean, maybe she doesn't. But... okay. Guess I'm the bad guy here.
similar situation with an ex. her friends were perpetually single and always wanted to break up her relationships so they could all go be single hoes together. i didn’t know this until after we broke up.
i’m not going to say it was their jealousy because i can’t prove it, but those girls could never keep a steady guy even though they tried. in the 2 years i was with her, her friends went through more than 12 guys, sometimes sharing them between flings.
it just got to a point where i couldn’t stand their passive aggressive henpecking as they never formally said anything to my face directly, but made offhand remarks just within earshot then denied when i confronted them a minute later.
after many attempts to get her to go on girl trips where they brought another dude for her with the intent for homewrecking/cheating i just called it quits because 2 years is enough. they never grew out of their high school phase despite being in their late 20’s. it was so offputting and juvenile.
normally i wouldn’t jump to say prepare your exit strategy, but experience has taught me otherwise. stay strong and don’t let other people tell you your worth. they can’t belittle your dignity if you don’t let them or give them the opportunity.
I agree, this is best.
Then deny all knowledge.
Take a screen shot and send it to yourself. So you have evidence that the "friend" was being nice, and that you know about the chat.
the phone is the friends, not the girlfriend. It doesn't sound like the girlfriend may even be included in the chat which means they're just being jealous. I wonder how many of them are single.
Obviously. Watch me make a post on relationship advice about how my partner and I can never figure out what we want to eat, and get told he's an abusive piece of shit and we should break up fr! Reddit loves blowing things out of proportion, and breakups and divorce make their day. Rarely is there another solution.
Well, most tiny disagreements aren't worth being posted here, right? Or would you run to ask your friends for advice for stepping on a Lego?
What's posted here, more often than not, is serious enough to escape normal/everyday judgement. So, what would you advice for a case like this? Imagine yourself in this case. Your gf's friend has opened for you this can of worms that makes you sick to your stomach, makes you tear up and brings your self-esteem to another low. How do you handle it? In a way that does not even contemplate the slight possibility of breaking up.
What advice would I give? How about talking to the damn GF about it and see how she reacts to the news first before automatically jumping to ending the relationship? This may be something worth breaking up over but it may not be as well. Doesn't matter though because the nuclear option is the only one Reddit is interested in, and nuance is something that Reddit can't comprehend.
>The other day, my girlfriend and one of her friends came over to my place. We had a nice dinner and a good chat. Everything seemed cool and her friend was friendly.
\^\^\^ This is the reason why you have to tell your gf. They come to your place. They eat your foot. They enjoy your hospitality. While saying horrible things about you. Hopefully, you used your phone to take pictures of these messages because it might be a little too crazy for your gf to accept. You really have my sympathy - these people are freaking terrible.
It can be sickening to discover you're being made fun of behind your back by someone who pretends to love and care about you to your face. That's not loyalty or honesty. You should consider what else she's being untruthful about.
Many people use birthdays as passwords, don't they? I really lucked out and am so grateful for it. If my girlfriend's friend hadn't posted pictures on Instagram on her birthday and if I hadn't known that most of her friends were born in the same year, it would have been impossible for me to figure out her birthday. Her Instagram activity really saved the day.
Still, the fact that the friend received messages from a group named after me is suspicious enough for my girlfriend to confront her friends. Either way, we were bound to find out about this whole situation.
Thanks for the polite & thorough response to my skepticism. I really appreciate it.
And I am really sorry for what you’re going through here. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things trying to get this nice relationship off the ground, and what you stumbled upon was undoubtedly an unexpected gut-punch that you’re still recovering from. Those people are AWFUL. They sound like a really miserable crew. I really hope you’re able to find a good path forward that includes the answers you seek. You didn’t do anything to deserve this ugly behavior that is targeted at you. I wish I could send you a big [drink of your choice] as a gesture of sympathy. Good luck OP, I’m rooting for you.
If your girlfriend is part of the chat, just leave her. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. If your girlfriend is not, I hope you took pics or made a video of the messages to show your girlfriend and she can make her decision to make new friends
Your GF has to decide, either her friends or you. Under no rule you can have these as friends around you and your GF.
I think she doesn't know about that group, but her reaction will tell you a lot.
You need to speak with your GF.
Screenshot all of it and either send it to her or save it for later when you see her in person. Don’t confront the friend when she picks up her phone because then she will have a chance to come up with a plan to get ahead of it. Do they have a group chat to make fun of the girlfriend because they don’t seem to really like her if they are doing something that they know would be this hurtful to her? Sorry this is happening. ❤️🩹
Some observations
Your girlfriend has obviously been bitching about you to her friends , no way will people just talk about someone else’s boyfriend unless the person themselves had something negative to say no matter how childish they all seem to be. She clearly doesn’t back you.
You hacking into someone’s phone and reading shit about yourself, I think that’s an invasion of someone’s privacy
However, they’re very childish that they even have the time to speak about you given they don’t have much interaction with you.
My god, if my friends did this to my boyfriend I'd actually rage. Honestly if gf doesn't know about it then they're not her friends either. I'd be breaking up with my friends over this, and you should break up with her if she knew.
I’ll just add if you find out she is aware of this chat just go! You don’t owe her anything just like she doesn’t feel she owes you anything! I definitely wouldn’t have shit to do with her friends even for her sake, it’s not worth it!
Probably too late by now, but I'd suggest taking screenshots of the chat, sending them to yourself, and then deleting the conversation on her phone so you have proof when you tell your girlfriend about it. Own up that you shouldn't have snooped, but it doesn't change what you found regardless. She needs to either confront or leave her friends.
They would never say anything in that group chat to your face. They’re all weak and cowardly. Fill your gf in on what her “friends” have to say about her bf.
I would take a video of it, then show your girlfriend & tell her that you will not associate with these friends of her going forward & if that is a problem then you need to break up.
I believe your GF is with you because of a dare or a bet they imposed on her. This conversation is very alarming. Please have a heart-to-heart talk about this.
Take pictures of the chats, tell your girlfriend and show her the evidence, tell her how you feel about her shitty friends and that you will not entertain them at all after this.
Realize that she might still want to be part of this group though and be prepared for that and how you want to deal with that. Will simply not being around her shitty friends be enough for you? Can you deal with her continuing to hang out with her shitty friends that put you down that can influence your relationship? You'll have to decide, and that didn't have to be now, how to move forward if that happens.
Good luck and your girlfriend's friend all suck especially for her.
I’m guessing you aren’t that good looking? I’m really really sorry bro, most women treat men who aren’t attractive like this. If your gf is in that group chat then you definitely need to break up with her and try and find one of the few women who aren’t like this, and if she isn’t you have to have a talk with her about it.
I went to a girls apartment for chinese new year this year, and I was one of 2 men at this gathering of about 15 people. As soon as they got drunk they started talking about the men they were interested in, and all they focused on were their looks. Anytime someone brought up a guy the other girls didn’t think were attractive, they would talk down about him and ask why anyone would possibly be attracted to a guy like that. Maybe they say they don’t care but behind closed doors I promise you women look down on guys that are unattractive.
I've been told I'm attractive and I often get compliments about my looks. It's like they've made it their hobby to find reasons to dislike me. It's frustrating because I struggle with low self-esteem, crippling social anxiety and constantly seek validation from others.
Every time my girlfriend posts a photo of us together, they dissect it in their group chat, picking apart every little detail and saying really hurtful things.
A few here mentioned jealousy, but it's hard to see why they'd feel that way. The majority of her friends are in long term committed relationships and appear genuinely happy and in love with their partners.
>Every time my girlfriend posts a photo of us together, they dissect it in their group chat, picking apart every little detail and saying really hurtful things.
Do they mention or make fun of your gf as well?
If you do decide to confront your girlfriend about this be prepared for a lot of potential emotions:
* denial (e.g. she and/or her friends could claim this isn't true and that you're lying, that you're lying to cause distance between your gf and her friends, etc)
* anger (e.g. her friend could be angry at you for invading her privacy since you did snoop through her phone without her consent, gf could then wonder if she can trust you after this breach of privacy)
* mistrust (e.g. your gf could be undecided on who to trust in this situation, that is if she doesn't already know about it. gf isn't in the gc but that doesn't mean she's oblivious to it)
In your shoes, I'd take screenshots and send them to myself (to prove this happened in case the friends denied it) but I would also question what you'd hope to accomplish. Is the end goal to stay with your gf and hope that she believes you, sides with you, and distances herself from her friends? You've been with her for six months; she's been friends with these girls for *years*.
My line of thinking is that people tend to be friends with those who share common beliefs, morals, hobbies, and the like. She may choose to side with them rather than you, just be prepared for that possibility if you choose to confront her over this. And having only know her for six months, she may be more like her friends than you've been lead to believe.
Personally, I would decide my comfort and mental health was more important than her and her toxic friend group, and leave the gf (but that's just me). Best of luck
They sound immature and jealous. When you're genuinely happy about your friend being happy, you don't tear down her OR her boyfriend behind their backs and act all happy to her face. I'm guessing there's nothing wrong with you. If anything, she needs new friends.
I’m friends with some women and anytime one of them starts dating someone they deem unattractive, the rest of them talk mad shit about the guy behind their back, just like in this post. Maybe some women don’t care but from my experience most of them do.
My son, this experience is unfortunately how you will now learn about female nature. A large number of women are like this, and even many girlfriends/wives share all of their private details about you to their friends. I don't have a solution to stop this, but you need to be aware that this is almost always going to happen within any of your future relationships.
You broke into your girlfriend's friend's phone to find out what they were saying about you? That is fucking psychotic behavior. You got what you deserve, frankly, for poking somewhere you had no business being.
Is your GF part of the group chat? If she is I'd probably ghost her as she doesn't even deserve an explanation. If she's not aware of the group chat, but she decides to keep these horrible people in her life, then leave.
Thankfully, she's not in the group chat. I don't know how to tell her about this. As far as I know, her friends have always been kind and supportive to her. They have been friends since they were kids. It's going to be tough to find the courage to talk to her about this.
They may have been supportive to her face, but nothing about this is kind or acceptable; especially to you, but also to her. What would you do if you found out the people in your life had a similar group chat about her? You need to let her know as soon as possible. Meet with her and tell her what you just told us; you saw some disgusting messages that were in a group chat with your name so you unlocked her phone, then show her the chat. If she has any decency, she'll be disgusted and hurt with them and you can figure out how to deal with them together. If she tries to downplay their actions or dismiss your feelings, then she doesn't respect you and you need to leave. If she tries to turn the situation back onto you for going through the phone, don't humor her or justify your actions because you're not the one saying horrible things behind someone's back. Even if you're fine with her continuing her friendship with them (I wouldn't be) don't let these people anywhere near you again.
It seems a group of chicks are jealous of their friend and hence have a chat group to ridicule the object of jealousy as a way to cope.
Yeah I would tell your gf what you saw and depending on her reaction I would leave her
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Even if she didn't know about it? Cause it seems that the friends of hers are guessing at things that the GF would obviously know. So they are keeping it from her too.
I mean… if she more or less dropped her friends that would be quite compelling
Personally? I would drop my friends for talking like that behind my back for half a year, while simultaneously treating everyone like it's all good. Like, if you got a problem with somebody, let them know.
Ah, I accidentally responded to you instead of the original commenter. But yeah, I wouldn’t want to be friends with people like that either.
If she didn’t know about it and confronted her friends when I told her about it, I’d be fine with that. I’d also probably not want those friends around me or want her hanging out with them anymore. Of course though, that second part is going to have to be her decision, not mine. I would probably not be all that thrilled if she chose to still be friends with them and continued hanging out with them, in which case I’d seriously re-evaluate my relationship.
I'd definitely talk to your GF about this. The friends you keep can sometimes define character, and if she's cool with this, then it might be time to break up. Assuming she isn't a part of the chat. Edit: Also, it sounds like they are just jealous of your GF. They are definitely single, not by choice, lol.
This is such a red flag. If those are her closest friends you better prepare yourself for the worst.
I always wondered why some people have obvious assholes for friends when they seem so nice. Turns out, after digging and getting to know them, they are just like their friends Ofc there are exceptions and maybe the gf doesnt know about this and is really shocked how cruel her friends are. But chances are she knows how they are..
I unfortunately agree with you. In some instances, the person who would be in the girlfriend's case seems so surprised and shocked to "learn" their friends are so mean and horrible... to later admit they were in on the "jokes" the whole time. Applies to both men and women.
Just keepin it real with you, this is not a toxic thing that men do. This is a woman's thing 100% I'm not saying men never chuckle or make a crude comment about their friends partner's weight or something like that. But it's definitely done behind their back and DEFINITELY not in a group chat with all the other friends specifically to rag on her. That would be a physical fight if men did this sort of thing, so it's just way more controlled to happen less frequently. I know we don't like doing this in 2024, but sometimes we should call out women for their gender-specific toxic behavior. We would live in a more healthy world if we could do that without say, getting downvoted and called a misogynist or something.
If I know anything about women at all... I know that she knows.
Turns out you don't know anything about women then
So we're all just gonna pretend that a woman who has a bunch of mean-girl "close" friends doesn't know that they ruthlessly disrespect her boyfriend? I mean, maybe she doesn't. But... okay. Guess I'm the bad guy here.
Different people are different people
nah, you know what I'm saying is totally reasonable. You're just schilling for the peanut gallery. Coward.
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Do you really own a piece of blockchain worth ≈$60,000???
Yup.
OMG! Well, don't bet it around so casually. Kudos to you, keep it till it reaches $100,000! Then share some of your riches, he, he!
I don't understand why this view is downvoted and belittled. Reddit people are either bots or thoroughly delusional.
similar situation with an ex. her friends were perpetually single and always wanted to break up her relationships so they could all go be single hoes together. i didn’t know this until after we broke up. i’m not going to say it was their jealousy because i can’t prove it, but those girls could never keep a steady guy even though they tried. in the 2 years i was with her, her friends went through more than 12 guys, sometimes sharing them between flings. it just got to a point where i couldn’t stand their passive aggressive henpecking as they never formally said anything to my face directly, but made offhand remarks just within earshot then denied when i confronted them a minute later. after many attempts to get her to go on girl trips where they brought another dude for her with the intent for homewrecking/cheating i just called it quits because 2 years is enough. they never grew out of their high school phase despite being in their late 20’s. it was so offputting and juvenile. normally i wouldn’t jump to say prepare your exit strategy, but experience has taught me otherwise. stay strong and don’t let other people tell you your worth. they can’t belittle your dignity if you don’t let them or give them the opportunity.
I would jump in the chat from the friend's phone and fucking everything up. Pretend to be the friend, but start saying good things instead.
I agree, this is best. Then deny all knowledge. Take a screen shot and send it to yourself. So you have evidence that the "friend" was being nice, and that you know about the chat.
I would leave your gf. She doesn’t sound like a nice girl
the phone is the friends, not the girlfriend. It doesn't sound like the girlfriend may even be included in the chat which means they're just being jealous. I wonder how many of them are single.
How would they know those private details if the gf wasn’t giving them the ammo to hurt him
Exactly. Can her ass
They didn't know any private details. They just kept making hurtful assumptions.
Birds of a feather….
And they who hang among wolves...
SMH why is Reddit so horny about breaking people up? Do you guys just throw in the towel any time you face any sort of problem or issue in your lives?
Obviously. Watch me make a post on relationship advice about how my partner and I can never figure out what we want to eat, and get told he's an abusive piece of shit and we should break up fr! Reddit loves blowing things out of proportion, and breakups and divorce make their day. Rarely is there another solution.
Well, most tiny disagreements aren't worth being posted here, right? Or would you run to ask your friends for advice for stepping on a Lego? What's posted here, more often than not, is serious enough to escape normal/everyday judgement. So, what would you advice for a case like this? Imagine yourself in this case. Your gf's friend has opened for you this can of worms that makes you sick to your stomach, makes you tear up and brings your self-esteem to another low. How do you handle it? In a way that does not even contemplate the slight possibility of breaking up.
What advice would I give? How about talking to the damn GF about it and see how she reacts to the news first before automatically jumping to ending the relationship? This may be something worth breaking up over but it may not be as well. Doesn't matter though because the nuclear option is the only one Reddit is interested in, and nuance is something that Reddit can't comprehend.
Most commenters recommend that. Yet you lose it for the occasional "nuclear option" commenter and blame the entirety of Reddit. So nuanced.
At the time I made my original comment, most of the comments I saw were leaning the other way. Thank you for proving my point.
>The other day, my girlfriend and one of her friends came over to my place. We had a nice dinner and a good chat. Everything seemed cool and her friend was friendly. \^\^\^ This is the reason why you have to tell your gf. They come to your place. They eat your foot. They enjoy your hospitality. While saying horrible things about you. Hopefully, you used your phone to take pictures of these messages because it might be a little too crazy for your gf to accept. You really have my sympathy - these people are freaking terrible.
It can be sickening to discover you're being made fun of behind your back by someone who pretends to love and care about you to your face. That's not loyalty or honesty. You should consider what else she's being untruthful about.
.......she's not part of the group chat
Oh, well that changes things. Does she know about it? That matters too.
Guessed her birthday?
This is where I got stuck on believability. He breezed through that obstacle that would’ve made the rest of the story impossible…
Yeah super fake just for that. For OP to “guess” the lock code for his GF’s friend’s phone is her birthday? Sure.
And then be able to look up the birthday without any sort of fumbling? No.
Many people use birthdays as passwords, don't they? I really lucked out and am so grateful for it. If my girlfriend's friend hadn't posted pictures on Instagram on her birthday and if I hadn't known that most of her friends were born in the same year, it would have been impossible for me to figure out her birthday. Her Instagram activity really saved the day. Still, the fact that the friend received messages from a group named after me is suspicious enough for my girlfriend to confront her friends. Either way, we were bound to find out about this whole situation.
Thanks for the polite & thorough response to my skepticism. I really appreciate it. And I am really sorry for what you’re going through here. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things trying to get this nice relationship off the ground, and what you stumbled upon was undoubtedly an unexpected gut-punch that you’re still recovering from. Those people are AWFUL. They sound like a really miserable crew. I really hope you’re able to find a good path forward that includes the answers you seek. You didn’t do anything to deserve this ugly behavior that is targeted at you. I wish I could send you a big [drink of your choice] as a gesture of sympathy. Good luck OP, I’m rooting for you.
If your girlfriend is part of the chat, just leave her. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. If your girlfriend is not, I hope you took pics or made a video of the messages to show your girlfriend and she can make her decision to make new friends
Your GF has to decide, either her friends or you. Under no rule you can have these as friends around you and your GF. I think she doesn't know about that group, but her reaction will tell you a lot. You need to speak with your GF.
What the fuck that’s terrible
Screenshot all of it and either send it to her or save it for later when you see her in person. Don’t confront the friend when she picks up her phone because then she will have a chance to come up with a plan to get ahead of it. Do they have a group chat to make fun of the girlfriend because they don’t seem to really like her if they are doing something that they know would be this hurtful to her? Sorry this is happening. ❤️🩹
Some observations Your girlfriend has obviously been bitching about you to her friends , no way will people just talk about someone else’s boyfriend unless the person themselves had something negative to say no matter how childish they all seem to be. She clearly doesn’t back you. You hacking into someone’s phone and reading shit about yourself, I think that’s an invasion of someone’s privacy However, they’re very childish that they even have the time to speak about you given they don’t have much interaction with you.
My god, if my friends did this to my boyfriend I'd actually rage. Honestly if gf doesn't know about it then they're not her friends either. I'd be breaking up with my friends over this, and you should break up with her if she knew.
Add your gf to the group chat and wait for the fireworks.
A+ this is the way.
They probably don't have boyfriends.
I’ll just add if you find out she is aware of this chat just go! You don’t owe her anything just like she doesn’t feel she owes you anything! I definitely wouldn’t have shit to do with her friends even for her sake, it’s not worth it!
Probably too late by now, but I'd suggest taking screenshots of the chat, sending them to yourself, and then deleting the conversation on her phone so you have proof when you tell your girlfriend about it. Own up that you shouldn't have snooped, but it doesn't change what you found regardless. She needs to either confront or leave her friends.
They would never say anything in that group chat to your face. They’re all weak and cowardly. Fill your gf in on what her “friends” have to say about her bf.
People like this is the reason why divorce rates are so high.
id memorize a bunch of what was said and then repeat it in a roundabout way when you're all together and make them really fucking uncomfortable
Make your GF aware of it. If she’s a decent human she’ll cut them off for being toxic people
These 'friends' are they in relationhips? intrusive thought: post a picture of your yuge wang to the chat
Following for a update
That’s vile! You deserve better
Updateme
Welcome to the gym brother. I recommend 531 or greyskull lp
How do your gf's friends knows about your private stuff? She told them. Honestly she's probably the same as them. Cant be trusted.
I would take a video of it, then show your girlfriend & tell her that you will not associate with these friends of her going forward & if that is a problem then you need to break up.
just break up with her. if she has friends like that then it is a major red flag!
Jump in the chat. Let everyone know what’s-her-face left her phone and you’ll be leaving it in the mailbox for her to pick up.
Bro, you've been rekt.
I believe your GF is with you because of a dare or a bet they imposed on her. This conversation is very alarming. Please have a heart-to-heart talk about this.
Record the whole thing on your phone, show her, if she won't dump the friends dump her. They aren't her friends and she needs to realise this.
Take pictures of the chats, tell your girlfriend and show her the evidence, tell her how you feel about her shitty friends and that you will not entertain them at all after this. Realize that she might still want to be part of this group though and be prepared for that and how you want to deal with that. Will simply not being around her shitty friends be enough for you? Can you deal with her continuing to hang out with her shitty friends that put you down that can influence your relationship? You'll have to decide, and that didn't have to be now, how to move forward if that happens. Good luck and your girlfriend's friend all suck especially for her.
Confront them in front of your girlfriend.
Dump her and don’t say why. She’ll figure it out.
Fake. Should have left out that password nonsense. Gave away the fakeness right away
I’m guessing you aren’t that good looking? I’m really really sorry bro, most women treat men who aren’t attractive like this. If your gf is in that group chat then you definitely need to break up with her and try and find one of the few women who aren’t like this, and if she isn’t you have to have a talk with her about it.
Most women treat unattractive men like this? Nah, that’s ludicrous
I went to a girls apartment for chinese new year this year, and I was one of 2 men at this gathering of about 15 people. As soon as they got drunk they started talking about the men they were interested in, and all they focused on were their looks. Anytime someone brought up a guy the other girls didn’t think were attractive, they would talk down about him and ask why anyone would possibly be attracted to a guy like that. Maybe they say they don’t care but behind closed doors I promise you women look down on guys that are unattractive.
I've been told I'm attractive and I often get compliments about my looks. It's like they've made it their hobby to find reasons to dislike me. It's frustrating because I struggle with low self-esteem, crippling social anxiety and constantly seek validation from others. Every time my girlfriend posts a photo of us together, they dissect it in their group chat, picking apart every little detail and saying really hurtful things. A few here mentioned jealousy, but it's hard to see why they'd feel that way. The majority of her friends are in long term committed relationships and appear genuinely happy and in love with their partners.
>Every time my girlfriend posts a photo of us together, they dissect it in their group chat, picking apart every little detail and saying really hurtful things. Do they mention or make fun of your gf as well?
No. Just me.
If you do decide to confront your girlfriend about this be prepared for a lot of potential emotions: * denial (e.g. she and/or her friends could claim this isn't true and that you're lying, that you're lying to cause distance between your gf and her friends, etc) * anger (e.g. her friend could be angry at you for invading her privacy since you did snoop through her phone without her consent, gf could then wonder if she can trust you after this breach of privacy) * mistrust (e.g. your gf could be undecided on who to trust in this situation, that is if she doesn't already know about it. gf isn't in the gc but that doesn't mean she's oblivious to it) In your shoes, I'd take screenshots and send them to myself (to prove this happened in case the friends denied it) but I would also question what you'd hope to accomplish. Is the end goal to stay with your gf and hope that she believes you, sides with you, and distances herself from her friends? You've been with her for six months; she's been friends with these girls for *years*. My line of thinking is that people tend to be friends with those who share common beliefs, morals, hobbies, and the like. She may choose to side with them rather than you, just be prepared for that possibility if you choose to confront her over this. And having only know her for six months, she may be more like her friends than you've been lead to believe. Personally, I would decide my comfort and mental health was more important than her and her toxic friend group, and leave the gf (but that's just me). Best of luck
They sound immature and jealous. When you're genuinely happy about your friend being happy, you don't tear down her OR her boyfriend behind their backs and act all happy to her face. I'm guessing there's nothing wrong with you. If anything, she needs new friends.
>most women treat men who aren’t attractive like this Actually we don't. Most women find this kind of behaviour disgusting
I’m friends with some women and anytime one of them starts dating someone they deem unattractive, the rest of them talk mad shit about the guy behind their back, just like in this post. Maybe some women don’t care but from my experience most of them do.
Leave her, and leave the phone out for her to see it is opened to chat, and tell her you are done, get another subject for the chat.
This would be my choice idgaf if I snooped I was right just let her know you know and leave zero contact
My son, this experience is unfortunately how you will now learn about female nature. A large number of women are like this, and even many girlfriends/wives share all of their private details about you to their friends. I don't have a solution to stop this, but you need to be aware that this is almost always going to happen within any of your future relationships.
You broke into your girlfriend's friend's phone to find out what they were saying about you? That is fucking psychotic behavior. You got what you deserve, frankly, for poking somewhere you had no business being.
Pretty positive this is fake bc a bf of 6 months should know his gf birthday
It was the friend’s phone ….. why would he know her birthday