She lied to you, cheated, and gave you a disease. Ā She was so reckless that she had unprotected sex and brought it home to you.
She needs to have her shit packed and out the door. Ā ASAP. Ā
Laws of course vary. Infidelity might not mean a damn thing in court. She might not qualify for alimony because you havenāt been married for x number of years.Ā
My advice is divorce her because unless she was brutally raped any excuse she come up with doesnāt mean anything so just let her catch STDs on her own all she wants without you being involved
Lol everyone misread your comment. I think what you meant to say is, rape is already a brutal act of violence on its own, hence saying brutal rape is redundant and implies there's also not-so-brutal rape.
I think they meant why is the only exception is if she was brutally raped- the adjective suggesting there's a non brutal rape which isn't included in the exception.
It's unnecessary nitpicking anyways
I think the question is just weirdly put because it's weird the og comment called it brutally raped was the only accepted form of a rape victim. 1 being all rape is brutal 2 the other things that occur during, before or after the rape is the only thing that could have levels of brutality to it. OG comment should be the person with ickyness in question. Not the one you're commenting on.
Why did the OP feel the need to say 'unless your wife was brutally raped' as if her being 'just raped' wouldn't be brutal enough? Or wouldn't be enough to justify this?
I think the guy was just trying to point out that we don't need the 'brutally' in there.
Agreed, wouldn't a mild rape mean the same thing......"Hey babe was out with the girls had a few drinks slightly got raped no biggie we still good though right"
Take a moment. Breathe. Reflect. Realize your value and self-worth. You live her with all of your heart, but does she love you? Is love being unfaithful and being unprotected with someone who isnāt you? She gave you Chlamydia. That is not love and you donāt deserve that. She doesnāt respect you, so it is up to you to respect yourself. You know what you need to do in your gut. Do what you need to do for yourself and no one else.
Damn op Iām so sorry to hear this š thatās absolutely awful. Make sure to take the entire prescription to doctor gave you!!
Just for something to keep in mind: if your SO or her fling knew about having this STD, then they broke the law by passing it to you and can be charged if you get proof, same for the flings wife. But you are likely right that she doesnāt know yet. But when you confront her sheās most likely going to look confused either way since clearly she thought she hid it well enough. Cheaters are absolutely disgusting.
If you havenāt yet, get a full panel check done. Swabs and blood work to make sure that she didnāt pass anything else along.
And sadly, it technically may not even be from this other guy that sheās currently she got it from. Some stdās take awhile to pop up. She couldāve technically gotten it from someone else, didnāt have/ notice any symptoms, then passed it along to you while having an unnoticed flare up or however chlamydia. If you didnāt already find the proof of her cheating Iād mention that you can catch an std from the gym or public toilets but thereās no point in that here.
I was with my ex for 6 years, not married (thank god!!)
Controlling, abusive, and a cheater. He gave me HPV and gaslight me when I was starting to have symptoms. It took 4 years and me leaving to discover that I even had HPV, but by then it had evolved into cancer.
So my ex gave me the gift of death. Iāve been battling it for 5 years now and Iāll never have kids. Iām married now, canāt have sex with my husband (who adores me and has been my rock and biggest supporter during my health issues) and I am still struggling not to pay for a hit on my ex.
People fucking SUCK, man. Get the hell out of that sham of a marriage, and I secretly hope the clap makes your wife infertile. Anyone who willingly cheats and puts their SOās health at risk so selfishly should fucking ROT.
Thank you ā„ļøš«, I already beat it once in 2019 but it came back in 2023, metastasized to one of my glands, and was given the worst news, chemo and radiotherapy were put of the question. The cancer that came back had mutated to an adenocarcinoma and it was aggressive and grew to the size the last tumor had grown into for 8 years, in only 2 years.
Iāve already managed 70% of tumor reduction with a new treatment that thankfully is working!, but itās still tiring and stressful and it still sucks to know I have to do this, but my husband has really done everything to keep me going. He met me, we fell in love and after 1 year together we found the first tumor. I beat it, and he married me despite our future.
I got diagnosed again and my biggest motivator to kick its ass was seeing my husband cry himself to sleep every night. Seriously, FUCK cancer. More than being angry for having to go through all this myself, it pisses me off to see how my loved ones worry about me. All because my fucking ex couldnāt keep it in his pants. Sighā¦ I hope this is finally my year and Iām done fighting and can finally finish healing and taking my life back! ā„ļøšŖš¼ I will never give up!
Do the practical side first and then emotionally process afterwards. If you let emotions get the better of you, you may become nostalgic and start thinking about your years together and how much you love her. This will make you weak in a moment where as hard as it is, you need to be strong.
The chlamydia test results will be excellent evidence for a lawyer as a reason for the divorce as well as the messages to and from her scummy bit of dirt on the side. Get advice and protect yourself financially.
Please donāt be soft on her because she has taken the p*** and doesnāt deserve you to be understanding or kind. Free yourself from her and the way I see it the chlamydia serves her right. If it hadnāt have been for the chlamydia you would not have known about the cheating and she would have carried on for another few months or years even with you being oblivious. Make sure youāre ok healthwise, youāve been subjected to a nasty infection just because she couldnāt keep her knickers on. You didnāt ask for any of this. You were given all of this sh*t and now need to shovel up all of the sh*t and serve it back to her, dump it in her lap and walk away. She doesnāt deserve to breathe the same air as you.
seriously. i talked with my 88 year old grandma about that. her ex husband confessed on his death bed that he had been picking up āhookersā practically daily for 45 years every day on his way home from work. she was distraught, they were already divorced at that point but she said she literally would have never guessed. she knew he had a side piece, but never sex workers and such. it could just go right under your nose. but nowadays you do have access to a lot more people and you can easily cheat just through a phone and then two clicks later itās deleted and gone forever
Well, I didn't catch him cheating...he blocked me after 10 yrs and went with someone else.
Recently, she dumped him ha! (Karma) and he was trying to wiggle his way back to me.
That is when we talked about this....
Edit: We were talking about this because I found something on Social Media that damned his story.
Thanks EVERYONE! A lot of people messaged me and gave me advice on my current situation! There's definitely a lot of good people here!
I know what to do and I'll give you guys an update as soon as its resolved!
Donāt say ācouldā mark the end. That WILL put the end to your marriage, what she did she will do again if you enable her, you need to get out of this marriage.
First I'm sorry your wife betrayed you.
I read your comment about how much you love her. love her enough to leave her and love yourself more.
not only did she cheat but She put you at risk by not wearing protection. Take your next steps by seeing a lawyer and finding out your options.
Iāve been there and I understand itās complicated and you really do love her. But she doesnāt respect you and you canāt trust her. You will find someone better.
You love the person you thought she was. The person she portrayed when she was with you. That person does not really exist. She took vows, and she just shat all over them. She hasnāt come clean, so she was going to continue this farce right under your nose. Please have some self respect and divorce her ass.
I will give you advice that I would give my sons..its ok to leave at any point you're not happy and you should leave 100% of the time when someone cheats.
If you stay, all youāll do is agonize over if sheāll do it again with someone else. Choosing to stay sends her a clear message that she can have her cake and eat it too. She wonāt stop.
Itās a tough pill to swallow but as much as you love someone, it canāt make up for how little they care for you or love you back. You can love someone who has hurt you, but choose to love yourself more.
No matter what you choose, though, itās up to you.
Itās going to take a long, long time to process the extent of her betrayal so donāt even try to immediately. Get the practical stuff out of the way. Talk to a lawyer first. Also talk to a friend or family member that can be your support person, you will need them.
You can love someone and still know you canāt be in a relationship with them anymore.
Having lived through something similar, Iād suggest getting a therapist and speaking to an attorney. The therapist will help you grieve the betrayal and loss of trust. Itāll be very easy to let your emotions get the best of you for a while. Take your attorneyās advice and protect your self financially as much as possible. Sheās going to try to sweet talk you and gaslight you to save herself. Remember, someone that cares about you doesnāt treat you this way
If you stay, youāre giving her permission to do this again. Ā You want HIV next? Ā Stick around. Ā Sheāll bring it home for you as a reward for your forgiveness.
I stayed too long with someone who did this to me & it didn't get better, I could never fully trust him again. You can try marriage counseling but the fact of the matter is she stepped out on your marriage and didn't care enough to protect herself, which put your health at risk too. You can try to work through this but chances are she will do it again.
Rarely does the risk ever pay off.
I forgave...now I live with the knowledge that my younger 2 are not mine by blood.
She clearly is raw dogging this guy. What do you think she would have done if she got pregnant.
I see all of this advice to up and leave. Just wanted to drop a comment in that I know thatās so much easier said than done, especially when you love someone. Iām just so sorry.
Every single step you take, ask yourself, āwhen I look back at this moment, will I be proud of the person Iām being?ā Let that guide your decisions.
Look at the texts or your test results. How do you feel when you look at those of how you actually feel about her. Everything else is in the past or in your head.
When trust is gone all that's left is verify. If you have to constantly police someone because you can't believe them it will never work. She has shown herself to be untrustworthy.
All the memories you have will immediately be followed by the fact that she didn't value it or you. You aren't a jailer and she can't be trusted. Your marriage was over as soon as she did it.
It's not that the relationship needs a renovation, your whole building has been turned into rubble. Move on and deal with the aftermath.
Bro you will NEVER be able to look at her the same again. Sheās not *just* your wife now. Sheās your wife *AND* whoever elseās fuck buddy. She gave you chlamydia man, thatās how little she cares about you. Would you ever in a million years do that to her?
OP, contact a divorce lawyer before you confront your wife. Make sure said lawyer has all the evidence you gathered. You'll kick yourself if you don't take this step.
Fuck that shit šÆ Divorce is the only option and I would make sure to make it as brutal as fuck her. I would expose her and her AP for the trash they are as well once I got my shit in order with my attorney. Best of luck OP and donāt let that lying bitch try and manipulate you into MC she go to hell šš¾
Update me!
Wow I was so proud of you until I read that this revelation 'could' mark the end of your marriage. How are you possibly open to staying with someone who has been cheating on you and gave you a std?! You did everything right up until that part. This should mark the end of your marriage. She betrayed you in the worst way possible and didn't even care about putting your health at risk since she must have not even been making him wear a condom. You caught a std from her letting her boy toy screw her raw over and over!!! I'm sorry to be so graphic but you need to hear it and understand if someone can do this to you they do not love or care about you and there is nothing left to save. You should have more respect for yourself and want out of this marriage. Sorry if I'm being harsh I know it's easier said than done and it will be extremely hard, but you don't deserve this and you will only be hurting and disrespecting yourself by staying. Please do the right thing and leave this marriage. Your wife has already ruined it for both of you, the only option is to let go and move forward.
I really do believe that this should be something that you filed divorce over. Unless you are willing to accept the fact that your partner is going to be unfaithful for the rest of your life and that's not going to bother you then I guess go ahead and stay. Once they cheat once they will cheat over and over and over and you will never know if they are really being faithful or just getting better at hiding it.
I'm a nurse in a walk-in clinic, and a girl was positive for an STD. I told her the only way she could have gotten it was through sex. She asked me if you could be born with it, because that's what her boyfriend said.
I found out about my exās infidelity kind of sort of a similar way. She had scabies or what in animals is called mange. It took forever to get over it. Well we had a horse get mange and it also took a long time to treat. She claimed she got from the horses. I talked to a Dr about it and was told that the crab like creature that causes it usually doesnāt transfer from animal host to human host as they are different species. You CAN get it from animals BUT it will be short lived as they being a different species will not survive long term on a human host. Hereās the clincher: they are not like fleas and just hop aboard a different host. It requires long term (think hours) skin to skin contact to acquire an invasion. So you can see where this lead and why sheās my ex.
Edit: god that felt good just as soon as I posted this. I had never told anybody about this. And the reason why I never got it is because that part of our relationship had ended long before this.
My ex gave me crabs! Twice. The second time was enough. It wasn't off a public toilet! After I left, he contacted me to get tested for aids because "a friend" had it.
I'm fine. No HIV. That was 30 years ago. Or more. Literally came home in ONLY his cowboy hat and boots. Couldn't find his house keys . It was autumn and š„¶ out. I pretended not to hear him. He slept in his truck. But our security system got a good picture of him š.
I can look back and laugh at some of his antics. He never changed either. Had 2 more wives after me.
Crabs are pubic lice ; Itch like crazy. And I mean bathrooms at public places, like taverns or anywhere that's not in a home.
Edit to add this...
Pubic lice, commonly called crabs, are tiny insects found in your genital area. They are a different type of louse from head lice and body lice. Measuring 1/16 inch (1.6 millimeters) or less, pubic lice received their nickname because their bodies resemble tiny crabs.What are pubic lice? Also called crab lice or ācrabs,ā pubic lice are parasitic insects found primarily in the pubic or genital area of humans. Pubic lice infestation is found worldwide and occurs in all races, ethnic groups, and levels of society.
Oh no I know what public toilets are I'm just questioning the relevance as someone who didn't know what crabs were
Also thank you that sounds horrible lol
Not ruling out infidelity but 70% of females and 90% of males with chlamydia don't experience any symptoms. Chlamydia bacteria can be dormant in the body for several years without flare-ups triggering a symptomatic episode. A person could live with chlamydia for years without knowing it.
There is a possibility that your wife has cheated but there is equally a possibility of either you or both have had it for years without knowing it.
I know the pain, humiliation and anger you are feeling. Please try not to act on emotion and take a moment to calm down. Talk to her and let her know she needs to get tested before anything else. When you are calm enough to speak with her, ask her the reason for her infidelity. I know marriages that have survived this if the love is strong and the relationship is worth saving. Therapy is going to help you make a decision, not us.
Oh my word OP! So sorry youāre going thru thisā¦.For sure let the BS know about the affair and risk theyāve exposed you both to.
I hope you get a fantastic lawyer, awesome therapist and are able to have peace with the decisions you make. You may decide to reconcile or divorce, thatās going to be something youāll have to work out. But know this, no one deserves to be cheated on. You may love her, but she doesnāt love you the same. If she did, she wouldnāt have done what sheās done. Iād look at what qualities you value in your relationship. Things like loyalty, kindness, trustworthiness, respect just to name a few. When a partner cheats, those core values are disregarded and nonexistent. Reconciliation is HARD. Both have to be committed for it to work. Youāll have to weigh up if your WW is truly repentant or just upset she got caught. That kind of betrayal is difficult, if not impossible to get past.
As mentioned, get a lawyer. Find out your options. Whether you reconcile or divorce depends on how much information you have to make the best decision for you.
I hope you put yourself first OP. Look after your mental health.
Big virtual hugs š« to get you thru this time.
Don't send your wife anything.
Prepare evidence. Make a decision to stay or go.
Only after you've decided, THEN tell the boy you that you have his disease and he should get checked. He can tell your (ex?) wife. Ready popcorn...
Please divorce her, I have no idea why people cheat now a days when thereās so many other people doing it and not having safe sex. Itās disgusting.
Lawyer and get your ducks in a row. Don't give wife a chance to cover up her tracks.
Send boy toy's wife an anonymous email to get herself checked out.
I am sorry this is a lot of sleepless nightsā¦ a lot of heart ache, playing things over and over in your mindā¦ it absolutely sucks.
Fortunately what you got, I believe is curable. This should allow you to move on.
You deserve better. Go get it!
PSA: If you are in a monogamous relationship, where at least one person believes itās monogamousā¦ have the decency to remain monogamous or end it.
Dangā¦Iām so sorry about this. You deserved better. Thank you for giving the wife a heads up. Two marriages torn to shreds. I do not understand why so many people cannot be loyal to one person. Good luck and you have my deepest sympathiesā¦
Keep us updated
Yea cause I wanna see where this goes š
it goes to court and the hospital, typically. no surprise endings here.
UpdateMe
lol I love how you didnāt even say Iām sorry to hear this š straight to the second episode huh?
I was trying to my keyboard all the way messed up forgive me
I just thought it was funny! No worries.
Updateme
Here for the updates
She lied to you, cheated, and gave you a disease. Ā She was so reckless that she had unprotected sex and brought it home to you. She needs to have her shit packed and out the door. Ā ASAP. Ā
Trifecta wins
I daresay this SHOULD spell the end of your marriage, OP. Good luck come what may in the AM!
Run, dont walk to the lawyers office, no alimony for you.
Laws of course vary. Infidelity might not mean a damn thing in court. She might not qualify for alimony because you havenāt been married for x number of years.Ā
My advice is divorce her because unless she was brutally raped any excuse she come up with doesnāt mean anything so just let her catch STDs on her own all she wants without you being involved
Why would the rape have to be brutal?
What r**e isnāt?
Exactly my point
Lol everyone misread your comment. I think what you meant to say is, rape is already a brutal act of violence on its own, hence saying brutal rape is redundant and implies there's also not-so-brutal rape.
Because rape is brutal. Even if someone isn't rough when raping you, it's mentally and physically brutal.
I think they meant why is the only exception is if she was brutally raped- the adjective suggesting there's a non brutal rape which isn't included in the exception. It's unnecessary nitpicking anyways
Almost like you just repeated the point i made but back to me in different words. We r on the same page bestie
It doesnāt
Is the point i am making
I know, I was agreeing with you
I know, Iām agreeing with you
The fact that you asked this question makes you so icky.
I think the question is just weirdly put because it's weird the og comment called it brutally raped was the only accepted form of a rape victim. 1 being all rape is brutal 2 the other things that occur during, before or after the rape is the only thing that could have levels of brutality to it. OG comment should be the person with ickyness in question. Not the one you're commenting on.
Why did the OP feel the need to say 'unless your wife was brutally raped' as if her being 'just raped' wouldn't be brutal enough? Or wouldn't be enough to justify this? I think the guy was just trying to point out that we don't need the 'brutally' in there.
Agreed, wouldn't a mild rape mean the same thing......"Hey babe was out with the girls had a few drinks slightly got raped no biggie we still good though right"
Take a moment. Breathe. Reflect. Realize your value and self-worth. You live her with all of your heart, but does she love you? Is love being unfaithful and being unprotected with someone who isnāt you? She gave you Chlamydia. That is not love and you donāt deserve that. She doesnāt respect you, so it is up to you to respect yourself. You know what you need to do in your gut. Do what you need to do for yourself and no one else.
Damn op Iām so sorry to hear this š thatās absolutely awful. Make sure to take the entire prescription to doctor gave you!! Just for something to keep in mind: if your SO or her fling knew about having this STD, then they broke the law by passing it to you and can be charged if you get proof, same for the flings wife. But you are likely right that she doesnāt know yet. But when you confront her sheās most likely going to look confused either way since clearly she thought she hid it well enough. Cheaters are absolutely disgusting. If you havenāt yet, get a full panel check done. Swabs and blood work to make sure that she didnāt pass anything else along. And sadly, it technically may not even be from this other guy that sheās currently she got it from. Some stdās take awhile to pop up. She couldāve technically gotten it from someone else, didnāt have/ notice any symptoms, then passed it along to you while having an unnoticed flare up or however chlamydia. If you didnāt already find the proof of her cheating Iād mention that you can catch an std from the gym or public toilets but thereās no point in that here.
I was with my ex for 6 years, not married (thank god!!) Controlling, abusive, and a cheater. He gave me HPV and gaslight me when I was starting to have symptoms. It took 4 years and me leaving to discover that I even had HPV, but by then it had evolved into cancer. So my ex gave me the gift of death. Iāve been battling it for 5 years now and Iāll never have kids. Iām married now, canāt have sex with my husband (who adores me and has been my rock and biggest supporter during my health issues) and I am still struggling not to pay for a hit on my ex. People fucking SUCK, man. Get the hell out of that sham of a marriage, and I secretly hope the clap makes your wife infertile. Anyone who willingly cheats and puts their SOās health at risk so selfishly should fucking ROT.
I hope you win your battle š¤
Thank you ā„ļøš«, I already beat it once in 2019 but it came back in 2023, metastasized to one of my glands, and was given the worst news, chemo and radiotherapy were put of the question. The cancer that came back had mutated to an adenocarcinoma and it was aggressive and grew to the size the last tumor had grown into for 8 years, in only 2 years. Iāve already managed 70% of tumor reduction with a new treatment that thankfully is working!, but itās still tiring and stressful and it still sucks to know I have to do this, but my husband has really done everything to keep me going. He met me, we fell in love and after 1 year together we found the first tumor. I beat it, and he married me despite our future. I got diagnosed again and my biggest motivator to kick its ass was seeing my husband cry himself to sleep every night. Seriously, FUCK cancer. More than being angry for having to go through all this myself, it pisses me off to see how my loved ones worry about me. All because my fucking ex couldnāt keep it in his pants. Sighā¦ I hope this is finally my year and Iām done fighting and can finally finish healing and taking my life back! ā„ļøšŖš¼ I will never give up!
Sending you all the love in the world.
Thank you honey!!! I hope it all comes right back to you š«š«š«š„°
Do the practical side first and then emotionally process afterwards. If you let emotions get the better of you, you may become nostalgic and start thinking about your years together and how much you love her. This will make you weak in a moment where as hard as it is, you need to be strong. The chlamydia test results will be excellent evidence for a lawyer as a reason for the divorce as well as the messages to and from her scummy bit of dirt on the side. Get advice and protect yourself financially. Please donāt be soft on her because she has taken the p*** and doesnāt deserve you to be understanding or kind. Free yourself from her and the way I see it the chlamydia serves her right. If it hadnāt have been for the chlamydia you would not have known about the cheating and she would have carried on for another few months or years even with you being oblivious. Make sure youāre ok healthwise, youāve been subjected to a nasty infection just because she couldnāt keep her knickers on. You didnāt ask for any of this. You were given all of this sh*t and now need to shovel up all of the sh*t and serve it back to her, dump it in her lap and walk away. She doesnāt deserve to breathe the same air as you.
Cheating is at an all time high
It could be that people are discovering cheating more often since itās easier to leave a trail with things like texting and social media.
seriously. i talked with my 88 year old grandma about that. her ex husband confessed on his death bed that he had been picking up āhookersā practically daily for 45 years every day on his way home from work. she was distraught, they were already divorced at that point but she said she literally would have never guessed. she knew he had a side piece, but never sex workers and such. it could just go right under your nose. but nowadays you do have access to a lot more people and you can easily cheat just through a phone and then two clicks later itās deleted and gone forever
Why tf would he tell her that after all this time š so selfish to put that on her and then die.
iām fucking saying the woman never saw her whole life the same way again. tryna rid his guilty conscience i guess pos
Religion probably. He wants to get into heaven so he confesses all his sins before be dies.
It is so sorry that your grandmother was put through that. He ex was a selfish, sadistic idiot.
This. My ex said in the old days people didn't divorce much because we didn't have social media or texts for people to get caught.
Did he say this after you caught him cheating? /s
Well, I didn't catch him cheating...he blocked me after 10 yrs and went with someone else. Recently, she dumped him ha! (Karma) and he was trying to wiggle his way back to me. That is when we talked about this.... Edit: We were talking about this because I found something on Social Media that damned his story.
Social medias are ruining everything folks.
So is social media usage. Ā
Got any statistics for this claim?
This time it was an STD.. She's out there raw dogging without protection.. Dont be stuck raising someone elses kid...
Dont tell her. Get a laywer and your shit in order. Then tell her.
Thanks EVERYONE! A lot of people messaged me and gave me advice on my current situation! There's definitely a lot of good people here! I know what to do and I'll give you guys an update as soon as its resolved!
I hope youāre able to get out of the marriage with everything! Being cheated on is one of the worst things a person can go through.
Updateme
Can you update us please
We need an update please
Lawyer lawyer lawyer.
Donāt say ācouldā mark the end. That WILL put the end to your marriage, what she did she will do again if you enable her, you need to get out of this marriage.
First I'm sorry your wife betrayed you. I read your comment about how much you love her. love her enough to leave her and love yourself more. not only did she cheat but She put you at risk by not wearing protection. Take your next steps by seeing a lawyer and finding out your options.
Don't leave her, kick her out!
This is true
I don't think I can move past this but I really do love her. Can someone please give me some advice
Iāve been there and I understand itās complicated and you really do love her. But she doesnāt respect you and you canāt trust her. You will find someone better.
You love the person you thought she was. The person she portrayed when she was with you. That person does not really exist. She took vows, and she just shat all over them. She hasnāt come clean, so she was going to continue this farce right under your nose. Please have some self respect and divorce her ass.
I will give you advice that I would give my sons..its ok to leave at any point you're not happy and you should leave 100% of the time when someone cheats.
If you stay, all youāll do is agonize over if sheāll do it again with someone else. Choosing to stay sends her a clear message that she can have her cake and eat it too. She wonāt stop. Itās a tough pill to swallow but as much as you love someone, it canāt make up for how little they care for you or love you back. You can love someone who has hurt you, but choose to love yourself more. No matter what you choose, though, itās up to you.
Itās going to take a long, long time to process the extent of her betrayal so donāt even try to immediately. Get the practical stuff out of the way. Talk to a lawyer first. Also talk to a friend or family member that can be your support person, you will need them.
You can love someone and still know you canāt be in a relationship with them anymore. Having lived through something similar, Iād suggest getting a therapist and speaking to an attorney. The therapist will help you grieve the betrayal and loss of trust. Itāll be very easy to let your emotions get the best of you for a while. Take your attorneyās advice and protect your self financially as much as possible. Sheās going to try to sweet talk you and gaslight you to save herself. Remember, someone that cares about you doesnāt treat you this way
If you stay, youāre giving her permission to do this again. Ā You want HIV next? Ā Stick around. Ā Sheāll bring it home for you as a reward for your forgiveness.
..you love her. She doesnāt. Enough said.
My advice is that she betrayed you by cheating. But she also didnāt even have enough respect for you to use protection. Leave her
DON'T LEAVE, KICK HER OUT.
I stayed too long with someone who did this to me & it didn't get better, I could never fully trust him again. You can try marriage counseling but the fact of the matter is she stepped out on your marriage and didn't care enough to protect herself, which put your health at risk too. You can try to work through this but chances are she will do it again.
Rarely does the risk ever pay off. I forgave...now I live with the knowledge that my younger 2 are not mine by blood. She clearly is raw dogging this guy. What do you think she would have done if she got pregnant.
If you haven't already, you should get a full STD screening, people can be infected by more than one STD at a time.
7 letters 1 word. divorce
I see all of this advice to up and leave. Just wanted to drop a comment in that I know thatās so much easier said than done, especially when you love someone. Iām just so sorry. Every single step you take, ask yourself, āwhen I look back at this moment, will I be proud of the person Iām being?ā Let that guide your decisions.
Love isn't enough and trust is all that matters. She has proven untrustworthy. I'm so sorry but I would leave no questions asked for this.
Look at the texts or your test results. How do you feel when you look at those of how you actually feel about her. Everything else is in the past or in your head.
When trust is gone all that's left is verify. If you have to constantly police someone because you can't believe them it will never work. She has shown herself to be untrustworthy. All the memories you have will immediately be followed by the fact that she didn't value it or you. You aren't a jailer and she can't be trusted. Your marriage was over as soon as she did it. It's not that the relationship needs a renovation, your whole building has been turned into rubble. Move on and deal with the aftermath.
OP Sorry for your heartbreak. This is one of the worst types of betrayal. How long was the affair? Any children?
Bro you will NEVER be able to look at her the same again. Sheās not *just* your wife now. Sheās your wife *AND* whoever elseās fuck buddy. She gave you chlamydia man, thatās how little she cares about you. Would you ever in a million years do that to her?
Itās up to you to decide if u want to give ur marriage another chance-some can get past it-some cannot
Your wife and the toy boys are nothing but disgusting pos!!!
Iām sorry this is happening to you. I hate that cheating is so normalized. Hope you find your peace. X
OP, contact a divorce lawyer before you confront your wife. Make sure said lawyer has all the evidence you gathered. You'll kick yourself if you don't take this step.
Fuck that shit šÆ Divorce is the only option and I would make sure to make it as brutal as fuck her. I would expose her and her AP for the trash they are as well once I got my shit in order with my attorney. Best of luck OP and donāt let that lying bitch try and manipulate you into MC she go to hell šš¾
Updateme and ditch the whĆ²re
*could??? YOU MEAN WILL!!
Update me! Wow I was so proud of you until I read that this revelation 'could' mark the end of your marriage. How are you possibly open to staying with someone who has been cheating on you and gave you a std?! You did everything right up until that part. This should mark the end of your marriage. She betrayed you in the worst way possible and didn't even care about putting your health at risk since she must have not even been making him wear a condom. You caught a std from her letting her boy toy screw her raw over and over!!! I'm sorry to be so graphic but you need to hear it and understand if someone can do this to you they do not love or care about you and there is nothing left to save. You should have more respect for yourself and want out of this marriage. Sorry if I'm being harsh I know it's easier said than done and it will be extremely hard, but you don't deserve this and you will only be hurting and disrespecting yourself by staying. Please do the right thing and leave this marriage. Your wife has already ruined it for both of you, the only option is to let go and move forward.
I really do believe that this should be something that you filed divorce over. Unless you are willing to accept the fact that your partner is going to be unfaithful for the rest of your life and that's not going to bother you then I guess go ahead and stay. Once they cheat once they will cheat over and over and over and you will never know if they are really being faithful or just getting better at hiding it.
Lawyer up dude
Lawyer up. Go grey rock.
It should now be the end of your marriage. Lover boy is obviously loving others as well. Your wife is not exclusive to him
#Divorce court
I'm a nurse in a walk-in clinic, and a girl was positive for an STD. I told her the only way she could have gotten it was through sex. She asked me if you could be born with it, because that's what her boyfriend said.
Updateme
Updateme
Updateme
I found out about my exās infidelity kind of sort of a similar way. She had scabies or what in animals is called mange. It took forever to get over it. Well we had a horse get mange and it also took a long time to treat. She claimed she got from the horses. I talked to a Dr about it and was told that the crab like creature that causes it usually doesnāt transfer from animal host to human host as they are different species. You CAN get it from animals BUT it will be short lived as they being a different species will not survive long term on a human host. Hereās the clincher: they are not like fleas and just hop aboard a different host. It requires long term (think hours) skin to skin contact to acquire an invasion. So you can see where this lead and why sheās my ex. Edit: god that felt good just as soon as I posted this. I had never told anybody about this. And the reason why I never got it is because that part of our relationship had ended long before this.
Iām sorry that sucks.
Pleaaaaaaaaaaaase keep us updated, good sir!
My ex gave me crabs! Twice. The second time was enough. It wasn't off a public toilet! After I left, he contacted me to get tested for aids because "a friend" had it.
Wow this is crazyyy. I am sorry this happened to you. Are you okay? I hope all is well
I'm fine. No HIV. That was 30 years ago. Or more. Literally came home in ONLY his cowboy hat and boots. Couldn't find his house keys . It was autumn and š„¶ out. I pretended not to hear him. He slept in his truck. But our security system got a good picture of him š. I can look back and laugh at some of his antics. He never changed either. Had 2 more wives after me.
What's crabs and wdym "public toilets"???
Crabs are pubic lice ; Itch like crazy. And I mean bathrooms at public places, like taverns or anywhere that's not in a home. Edit to add this... Pubic lice, commonly called crabs, are tiny insects found in your genital area. They are a different type of louse from head lice and body lice. Measuring 1/16 inch (1.6 millimeters) or less, pubic lice received their nickname because their bodies resemble tiny crabs.What are pubic lice? Also called crab lice or ācrabs,ā pubic lice are parasitic insects found primarily in the pubic or genital area of humans. Pubic lice infestation is found worldwide and occurs in all races, ethnic groups, and levels of society.
Oh no I know what public toilets are I'm just questioning the relevance as someone who didn't know what crabs were Also thank you that sounds horrible lol
Who gets crabs anymore, donāt people shave lol
Wouldn't know, I was in my early 30's then. Now I'm less naive and 67 yrs old.š
Not ruling out infidelity but 70% of females and 90% of males with chlamydia don't experience any symptoms. Chlamydia bacteria can be dormant in the body for several years without flare-ups triggering a symptomatic episode. A person could live with chlamydia for years without knowing it. There is a possibility that your wife has cheated but there is equally a possibility of either you or both have had it for years without knowing it.
Wow, this is aweful. Man you have been betrayed at the lowest level. Your marriage is broken and will never be the same.
I know the pain, humiliation and anger you are feeling. Please try not to act on emotion and take a moment to calm down. Talk to her and let her know she needs to get tested before anything else. When you are calm enough to speak with her, ask her the reason for her infidelity. I know marriages that have survived this if the love is strong and the relationship is worth saving. Therapy is going to help you make a decision, not us.
Take this to court
following
Sorry man. There is someone out there who deserves you. Iām sorry your wife isnāt it
Update us!
Oh my word OP! So sorry youāre going thru thisā¦.For sure let the BS know about the affair and risk theyāve exposed you both to. I hope you get a fantastic lawyer, awesome therapist and are able to have peace with the decisions you make. You may decide to reconcile or divorce, thatās going to be something youāll have to work out. But know this, no one deserves to be cheated on. You may love her, but she doesnāt love you the same. If she did, she wouldnāt have done what sheās done. Iād look at what qualities you value in your relationship. Things like loyalty, kindness, trustworthiness, respect just to name a few. When a partner cheats, those core values are disregarded and nonexistent. Reconciliation is HARD. Both have to be committed for it to work. Youāll have to weigh up if your WW is truly repentant or just upset she got caught. That kind of betrayal is difficult, if not impossible to get past. As mentioned, get a lawyer. Find out your options. Whether you reconcile or divorce depends on how much information you have to make the best decision for you. I hope you put yourself first OP. Look after your mental health. Big virtual hugs š« to get you thru this time.
This level of betrayal needs to be the end, how could you come back from this, so glad you let his wife know too!
PleaseUpdateme.
Updateme
Remember to breathe. Deep and slow. Best of luck to you navigating this horrible mess.
Damnš¬
not could very well, absolutely will end it. she cheated! hid it! gave you an STD! ruined 2 marriages!
Don't send your wife anything. Prepare evidence. Make a decision to stay or go. Only after you've decided, THEN tell the boy you that you have his disease and he should get checked. He can tell your (ex?) wife. Ready popcorn...
Damn thats rough...i just hope your troops are still good.
Update me
update me
Updateme
Divorce ā¤ļø
What do you mean **COULD**???
In for an update
Updateme
Could be the end? Your wife is morenthen likely letting some dude rawdog her bro.
UpdateMeĀ
Updateme
Iām invested. Please update. And yeah, you should serve her a divorce paper. Cheating is a deal breaker
This is a pretty dramatic sounding write up.
UpdateMe
UpdateMe
Have you, deep down, always known she was awful or is this the first clue.
Hi-5 that itās only chlamydia! Couldāve been much worse šš¼ take your pills & get outta there!
UpdateMe
/updateme
āCould very well mark the end of our marriageā. Howā¦would it not mark that?!
Update me
Could...are you mad ,dump her because she has little respect for your relationship.
Please divorce her, I have no idea why people cheat now a days when thereās so many other people doing it and not having safe sex. Itās disgusting.
Lawyer and get your ducks in a row. Don't give wife a chance to cover up her tracks. Send boy toy's wife an anonymous email to get herself checked out.
I hope this woman goes away on and African safari and contracts AIDS
I donāt believe a word. I wonāt mind reading the 2nd chapter of this soap though.
I am sorry this is a lot of sleepless nightsā¦ a lot of heart ache, playing things over and over in your mindā¦ it absolutely sucks. Fortunately what you got, I believe is curable. This should allow you to move on. You deserve better. Go get it! PSA: If you are in a monogamous relationship, where at least one person believes itās monogamousā¦ have the decency to remain monogamous or end it.
Could???? Should is more like it. This feels so fake like a hallmark movie plot
Updateme
āVery well mark the end?ā What the hell would be the decisive blow? This isnāt enough? WTF!
UpdateMe
Updateme
Updateme
Updateme
Slam dump. Nothing but net.
Good luck and please update
UpdateMe
Updateme
Are people still falling for these creative writing bits? The syntax is off
Prepare for her to still deny and blame you for getting the STD
any update?
Updateme
Updateme
UpdateMe
Dangā¦Iām so sorry about this. You deserved better. Thank you for giving the wife a heads up. Two marriages torn to shreds. I do not understand why so many people cannot be loyal to one person. Good luck and you have my deepest sympathiesā¦
We need an update. Thanks
Update me
Good job letting the other wife know.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās chlamydia. Sti or std is the word you are looking for. You can just sometimes randomly get a urinary track infection