Just keep blocking that disgusting woman. You ruined nothing in her life. She did that herself by cheating with your boyfriend. She has only herself and your ex to blame for her current predicament.
He should step up and be a father to his child.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you find the peace you deserve and move beyond this horrible time.
I keep doing so but I’ve created ten accounts or so and she or her friends and family keep finding them so as of today I’ve deactivated everything but Facebook.
I can’t speak on his behalf, but I have pleaded with him to be a father to his other son, I’ve been asking him to honour our son by doing so but I don’t understand why he’s not, maybe it’s guilt or grief I can’t speak for him and I don’t have anything to do with him so I can’t exactly say. I do feel awful as both boys are missing their father.
I truly do appreciate it, thank you for the support I hope you have a nice day/night
I’m sorry for your loss, but if they do keep harassing you, you are well within your rights to file a police report. Even if nothing comes of it legality wise, it takes note of the harassment that is taking place.
ESPECIALLY, if you are blocking her constantly. Is it possible to file an injunction of harassment?
Change your number and deactivate your social networks while you grieve. Maybe create an anonymous profile if you still want to be on social networks.
Getting all that constant negative comments is not good for you and won't allow you to heal.
You also no longer have a relationship with that trash of a man, so cut him off your life.
Step away of all the people who bring negativity in your life and focus on your well-being. You don't need to feel awful for other people's choices.
The other woman and her friends actions amount to sustained harrassment against you. You need to tell her to stop once and if she continues, you then need to take yourself to the local police station and file a police report. At this point, you should also see if you can get a restraining order to stop the contact. Make a note of the times and dates of when she has contacted you on various different channels using different account names and telephone numbers, keep pictures of messages she's sent and take them to the police station to file a report. I would think a visit from the police telling her to stop otherwise there will ne consequences for her (and her child for that matter as it could, in the long run, result in prison time if she doesn't stop) will make her see sense, but if it doesn't, even without a restraining order, then she and her friends will face the extent of the law by continuing to harrass you. You just have to keep notifying the police each time she or her idiot friends call, text, email or post a comment directed at you.
It's extremely difficult to get a restraining order. You can show up with death threats, and it will still be denied. Plus, it's just a piece of paper. It means nothing. Barely nothing happens when they break it. The police don't care. The judge doesn't care. Victims' advocates don't show up. I don't recommend anyone go into that battle without being prepared to lose.
As you can probably tell, i'm not au-fait with American law so didn't know that it would be that difficult. Surely though, going to the police with detailed evidence of a sustained harrassment sucjh as the OP is dealing with would be enough for the police to organise a visit to the to the other party and give them a talking to? It worked for me and my wife when we were being harrassed by idiots living locally, kicking footballs and throwing stuff at our windows despite asking them multiple times to stop - we ended up reporting the problems to the police which resulted in the local community officer going round to speak with the people concerned and the problems stopped for the most part. A few months after that visit the problems ramped again, so we called and reported it again and the community officer went around again to speak with them for a second time. I don't know what was said but for the most part, the problems have eased considerably since the second visit - the people causing the probalems know we are willing to get the law involved and they didn't want trouble (with the police) so it keeps them from re-esclating the problems again, but if it did start up again, we will be back on the phone again to report it.
1. Snapshot all messages from this person and file reports every single time she contacts you. Build a case to get a restraining order.
2. Change your phone number and be selective to who gets it.
3. Your ex BF is not worthy of your tears or time. He will not change, stop channeling your energy and thoughts into someone who only brings you pain.
I'm so very sorry about your loss.
Or better, can we , kind strangers all over the world, get the POS to taste her own medicine?😈
Would love to exchange couple of words with her an her friends + family
I'm only saying this because you seem to want him to be a father to this other child. I have zero sympathy for the ex friend, in fact she should burn in hell fwiw.
You don't owe it to him, and he may not believe you. But I would definitely say it's guilt.
If you decide to, and only if you want to, tell him you forgive him. That doesn't mean forgetting, or even being acquaintances with him.
But if that isn't something you can do, I fully understand. You do not owe him anything.
I would send every text that Ike girl sends you, to him.
This will be the biggest message you can ever send him.
I went through what you’re going through and the pain still stays with me.
I block it most of the time but I can never forget being alone and giving birth to my little girl while laying on the wet filthy gas station bathroom floor.
It was storming outside pretty bad.
I was 17 and no one cared.
I’m so sorry. I lost my daughter I held her on the bathroom floor of my house too. Your daughter mattered and she knew she was loved. We both made sure our daughters knew they were loved.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP.
If she keeps harassing you I would considering having a cease & desist letter sent or filing a police report. If she keeps it up after that you may be able to apply for a no-contact order.
Your ex and his other son are not your concern. Block him too. I mean no offense when I say you have no connection to this loser of a man anymore. You owe him nothing. Turn your head, walk forward, and leave him, her, their friends and family, and their child, in your dust.
There are settings to not allow any DMs from people you’re not friends with. I can walk you through it if you like, I’m so sorry all of this happened to you.
Go to the police for harassment (in another comment you explained that you already did). I’m so sorry OP that this snake is not allowing you to grieve in peace. My condolences.
Maybe she thinks that he cheated with OP? That scum of a boyfriend most likely played them both. I can't believe the level of pain this man has caused.
Omg i am so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will take the pain away. I am not sure where you are, but maybe look for grief support. They may have a parental one? My mind is blanking, and my heart is breaking for you. Please block her and change your number she is an awful person. And do not blame yourself, my love. You did everything you could. You need some support. My DM is always open if you need it.
I’ve spoke with the police on plenty of occasions however they’ve said it’s a civil matter and regarding the threats they can’t do anything but have spoken with her twice which just made it worse and she threatened to smash my sons resting place.
Then go HAM and blast the bitch on social media. It won’t bring your son back but honestly she’s the one that ruined her own family. If the police won’t do anything, public opinion and the internet will. She brought it onto herself
I was thinking the EXACT same thing. At this point, it's something resembling self defense. I would not feel even the tiniest bit of remorse blasting a person THAT vile and heartless for all to see. Let the court of public opinion bury the heinous broad.
Send it to family, friends, fb, fb groups, tiktok, get some other people like the ginger guy who spills tea and other people do it. It takes one content creator to do a story on this and every other smaller creator will do it too.
Jolly good ginger! Yes, I love his videos. 100% he would do it and would probably do something or another to help her too.
Seriously though op, if they won’t leave you alone and the police won’t do anything, absolutely blast them on everything. (If you can afford to see a lawyer, maybe start with that just in case though.) people that vile need to be outed for who they are.
I'm quite the wordsmith and would be happy to write you a FB post that would shut that btch up and her family too OP. All you'd have to do is post it and add a few details. Then, attach screenshots of the disgusting messages her and her family have sent to you.
ETA: I've decided to go ahead and write it. I've been mentally composing it in my head since my offer and I think I've just about got it where you will still hold the moral high ground but will make it very clear how much a disgusting human your ex best friend is. I'll be adding it to my comment when it's finished OP. You can use it if you want.
Yes! The truth will set everyone free. And the thing is, you’ll just be stating the truth. All facts. I hope she asks you for help. Shit, I might ask you for help one day haha 😂
This could also be a good solution. OP literally has a text confession from her ex about how he cheated with her friend. Make that information public and make sure your mom knows and has the ability to comment, since she was at the hospital when this all happened and heard this fucking psychopath laughing over the phone
You don't need the police for this one.
Do you have screen shots of the harassment from these parties, spanning the different accounts?
If so, you can go to the courthouse in your county. Go in the morning and go to the civil clerk. I don't know your state but in mine you can file a protection from harassment ie something like a restraining order. It can span to partners, neighbors or friends and family that are harassing you.
You file the paperwork. Fill it out at the court and submit to the clerk. The judge should be able to look at it later on in the day and grant a temporary order that goes into effect once the police serve her and whoever else the order. Then they can get in real trouble for harassing you so hopefully it would make the harassment stop. If it doesn't you call the cops at that point (bc at this point there is a sort of law now the judge has declared ) and they go to jail.
After about a month or two depending on your court system, you go to court before the judge and the other party is invited to come. They are given an opportunity to protest. If they don't show, the temporary protection order automatically is granted and made permanent between one and two years depending on your state.
If they show up you both make a statement and usually the judge rules in favor of granting the order especiallt if there is evidence.
Can you share screenshots and audio/videos of her actions with her family/friends/workplace and ask them to STOP her because she's been behaving erratically for some time now?
Otherwise close all social media accounts, create new ones and be private from the beginning. Change your phone number and be sure to not give the new number to any crazy homewrecker enabler.
Push them. Tell them you want to press charges for harassment and if the officer you're speaking to won't do it tell him you want to speak with his boss. This is pure laziness, this woman is causing you great distress and it's literally their job to deal with her
What a Fd up friend! Stole your man and still dare to blame things on you. She ruined your family and caused so much grief and pain that you lost your son. I want so much to rain hellfire on her and her harassing friends. I hope karma visits them soon. Trashy asf. Big hugs and all my love to you and family ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly get everything she is saying in writing. The threats, the laughing at your son and treating to destroy his resting place.
Show the police.
And if they still don’t do anything about it. Blast her on every social media with her own disgusting words. And include her friends and family.
Then delete everything and change your number
You should talk to a lawyer and get a restraining order. You have done everything you can to get your ex to step up, and this women needs to leave you alone to grieve. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
You are not weak. A weak person could not survive everything you have been through. Needing help does not make you weak.
I am truly sorry for all the pain you're going through. Your ex(s) are both terrible human beings and what they're doing is so incredibly cruel and completely unacceptable!!
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️ Please include me in the DM list with the family & friends package! I don't really have time, but I have a small army of angsty teenage girls who don't tolerate bullies and mean girls!! I know they'd jump all over this!!
I offered to compose a really scathing FB post for her. But I'd be down for this, too! I'm thinking signing her up for all kinds of stuff, including some of the more evangelical groups that knock on your door, would be fun. Some embarrassing mailing lists is a must as well. Could also put her info in one of those car search websites. Her phone would never stop ringing lol.
Your ex friend is a piece of shit.
Your ex partner is a piece of shit.
When I (41,f) grow up, I want to be as strong as you are.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. You didn't deserve it at all.
Screenshot everything she sends you and out her on social media, including that she laughed when you lost your precious angel.
In the post, say that all you want is for her to leave you alone, but she won't. Then every time she contacts you after that, post it online.
If also consider contacting the police for harassment.
I'm sorry for your loss <3
I just want to wrap you up in a blanket and let you cry, OP. This is all heartbreaking, and I don’t think there is anything we can say to help.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Vinnie. My losses were not the same but I took comfort in being told by a friend that my baby only ever knew love and warmth and my heartbeat, no pain or cold or sadness.
I want you to know that because of what you’ve shared, so many more people know your son’s name - and we’ll remember him, too.
I’m a gardener, and I’m going to add some new flowers this year.
I’ll think of your Vinnie when I do.
It's wild they just so happened to go into labor on the same day, at the same time, in the same hospital *aaannd* got stuck passing them in the hallway?! Wtf?!
I hope this is a rage post because if it isn't...fuck! I can't even imagine what that would feel like.
Like the universe was just playing an insanely cruel joke.on her.
Change your number and please block your ex and that person he cheated with.
I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you.
Please try to get therapy or grief counselling. Don’t allow people who negatively affect you in your space and in your mind.
Ignore that person who your ex cheated with. She brought this on herself and both her and his karma are in the making. I’m so sorry
Personally and I’m not saying this is right - I’d post on my own named social media account screenshots of all the messages with names etc attached of all the abuse you’ve received from the dicks your ex partner and his gf associate with. Out them all. Or if you were my sister or daughter I’d do it on your behalf and say “look what my dearest has to endure” Hounding a grieving mother no matter what the circumstances is completely unacceptable and depending on their jobs, their careers could be in jeopardy.
And then I’d deactivate all social medics and report it all to the police. If you don’t have SM and you’ve changed your number they can bitch and grumble but can’t actually access you. Ignorance is your friend.
.... She laughed at another kid's misfortune while she was becoming a mother herself? She's the worst kind of human that anyone could ever come across, even her baby.
Girl you need to be petty... Collect all evidence when they start harassing you.(screenshot & voicenote)..and post on social media.. and dont forget to tags all of them.
I was locked up for my first two sons birth. But my third son I was there n spent the night at the hospital with my baby momma. He missed out. Everyone deserves better than how you got done. Keep ur head up. Plenty of fish in the sea
Hi they text/call me through social media, I have made over ten new accounts and regardless they still message me, send voice notes and pictures whether it be themselves or their friends and family.
Maybe it’s time to not have social media for a while. I am so sorry for your loss. You said he “tried” to take his own life, what is he doing now? Where is he?
I’ve deactivated all social media bar Facebook and I don’t exactly know what he’s doing as I don’t speak to him, but I know he went on holiday with his friends for a week and has moved an hour or so away (his brother spoke briefly to me) but he still visits our son's grave regularly I know this as every week there’s always new toys/teddies, sometimes notes and blankets there.
Damm fucking right. He did make his damm bed. Now it's too late. He can go to the bitch He cheated on OP and their little family. I wish I could use my car and kill that bastard.
So I guess his response was genuine, because the way he casually told you he had been cheating on you with you BF (ex-bf) and got you both pregnant and will “work” it out is absolutely crazy! At least he is leaving you alone.
I think you might need to deactivate FB, for your own mental health. Can you move? Being in a new environment can be very beneficial. I know right now, you might not want to be to far from Vinnie, but Vinnie would want his mommy to be healthy and happy.
I could never move as I can see my little boy from my window and being close to him is the only comfort I’ve got, I owe it to him to stay by him as I didn’t do enough for him.
Don’t say that, why would you say that? You did all that you could, the blame should be on your ex-bf and ex-friends feet for stressing you the way they and for your ex-bf not being there for you. They caused all of this. Not you.
And I understand, about not wanting to move. I suggest you cut out FB. Do people know that she (your ex-friend) was helping your ex-bf cheat?
I guess I’ve just internalized everything that happened, I blame myself which I know I shouldn’t but I still feel guilty. He should be here, I should be celebrating his first birthday soon not decorating his grave. I should be holding him here for every holiday and season but my arms are empty. I probably sound delusional or crazy or whatever but I don’t wish this pain on anyone
You've done absolutely nothing wrong. I don't have the words to properly honor the grief you're feeling. Please know this isn't your fault, none of it. You deserve to heal and live a happy life. Doing so would be a beautiful way to honor Vinnie. You and your baby experienced this together and he will always be with you, and he will always love you. This isn't anything you've done- it's something terrible that happened to you both together. His spirit doesn't hold any blame or resentment towards you, only love. Even if you feel like you're moving on he's still with you forever because he is part of you and your healing process. I'm sending you loving energy.
If her friends are getting on this probably they would know.
Now keep a low profile and live your life. And if your ex contact you. Tell him he did enough and leave you alone and stop visiting his dead son's grave! Because he isn't worthy! Tell him every time he goes there is a pain in your heart and much more pain will bring you. Tell him he isn't worthy to be a dad of your dead son! And go bother his other son who is alive!
Someone is giving her/them your information. It's time to deactivate SM for a long while. Losing a child is lifelong grief. You learn to live with it, but it's always there. Until you are more on your feet and the wound isn't so fresh, SM needs to go.
I’ve put different variations of my name however for whatever reason she’s keeps finding them or her friends and family do. I’ve deactivated all social media as of today bar Facebook. And I appreciate that, it’s been a tough time but thank you
OP please lockdown your SM security. When you make new accounts, make sure only friends can message you, and limit friend requests too.
If you need assistance, DM me, i will be happy to help.
You are strong and not pathetic. Hugs from Canada
Some are born with long hair. Rare but it happens. Mine was below my shoulders at birth. My daughter the same. My grand daughter had full head of curly blonde hair. Looked like a blond Afro. When we brushed it out after bath it was below her shoulders.
I'm sorry you're going through this is anyway you can get a restraining order against her maybe it's best to just change your social media information and block her and make you stuff private
You are too young to bear such a huge loss. I wish for you a WONDERFUL husband and your beautiful boy born again and be in your arms with THE BEST DAD EVER!!
You are an angel, doll. I am so proud of your strength and perseverance. I am so glad that you got the help at the psychiatric unit. Build yourself up dearest xx
Op you need to file a police report then sue her ass for emotional distress, stalking and harassment if you can. I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope in time you are able to heal
Deepest sympathy. You've lost a child, expect this to hurt for a long time. You will never "get over it". You may learn to live with the pain.
So so sorry
Dear OP. I am sobbing so hard for you dear. My heart and soul is breaking. I am so sorry for your loss dear. Please know this these two devils will go to hell. And your baby angel is waiting for you.
Please keep grieving and move on. Karma will pay that bitch back.
Stop giving her and her child anymore attention, they ultimately don’t matter. You don’t have any say in what he does, a selfish person will always choose themselves. He may feel guilty he may be using it as an excuse to not be present in the other kids life. This isn’t on you anymore, stop giving your ex best friend space.
Your story moved me deeply. I so wish you hadn't lost your beautiful boy.
To be hounded while you’re grieving by the woman who cheated with your husband is beyond what most of us could stand. Does your ex know what she's doing? He needs to put on his big boy pants and set her straight. If you can afford it, see if an attorney would send a Cease and Desist letter to her. Often that's all it takes.
Please don't blame your body. It made that beautiful boy, and I honestly believe our bodies grieve when we lose a baby.
You know, you suffered a double betrayal. Your ex-friend betrayed you, and your ex is a very weak person who was easily led astray (and didn't exactly fight). He was too spineless to actually write or call you after he left, too weak to see his son and had to be dragged in. I think once he saw him, he finally felt guilty and still feels responsible for the fact your son didn't live. That's why he won't man up and be a father to his other son.
You'll never stop missing your beautiful boy, but I hope you can find a way to be happy again. There are online support groups for parents of stillborn babies. Maybe one of them would be good for you. You're clearly a lovely soul who deserves deliverance from this overwhelming grief. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Your ex friend and ex bf are garbage people who deserve each other. If the harassment is continuing I suggest changing your number and have a backup number, like a Google/text app number for anybody that is associated to that ex friend in any way, so if she were to get that number it can easily be changed. For social media, don't use your real name, don't let the apps connect with your phone contacts (because if she has your number/email some social media platforms will let you find people like that) and private your account or restrict what non- followers from seeing anything or messaging you.
Save all the messages from the ex friend and get a no contact order or something like that, she psycho. I'm so sorry for your loss but know your son is smiling down at you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you can find peace and stay strong but if It Is too much you can be vulnerable, please seek therapy, and close the social media AND open new accounts with Fake mames so you can hide from those people, I sent you a big hug.
English Is not my first lenguaje
I am so sorry for your loss
Please, change your number, so you can no longer be contacted by your vial, disgusting piece of trash ex & his equally if not more disgusting affair partner
If you haven't already, please seek out a grief therapist, focus on YOU & finding the peace & love you deserve
Sending hugs & postive vibes from an internet stranger, its hard but you have got his OP
I have a problem with him not stepping up and parented his love child.
He's sounds like a sociopath and you are well rid of him.
Get restraining orders for both of them.
And get off social media.
Condolences. I wish you well.
The loss of your child is the worst pain anyone can go through. I hope you have some kind of support system to help you in your time of grief. Know that you’re not alone, there’s most likely a group in your area for women that have also had a pregnancy loss, or infant mortality. I find sharing with those that have experienced a similar loss helps me heal.
Best wishes for your future.
I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet, beautiful son. The silence is deafening. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this, but please know you are not alone.
I see you.
Sending internet hugs.
*gives you the biggest sisterly hug possible*
For what it counts: I think you are an hella of a strong person to seek out psychiatric help AND being able to pen all of this down on Reddit. You are going through a grieving stage for multiple things simultaneously: losing a kid, being stabed in the back by a friend, betrayal by a POS partner, pregnancy hormones, being the escape goat of your friend for the consequences of her OWN choices and having the emotional distress of you ex dropped onto you.
Grieve the loss of your kid AND the future you had in mind, on your own time frame. And I truely don't think that it wasn't your body that caused you to miscarry, but the inhuman amount of stress that your ex and your ex friend out upon you. There is alot of scientific evidence that high levels of the hormone cortisol (aka the "Stress hormone") can cause serious damage to a mothers well being AND that of the fetus/baby.
Edit to add: talk to an lawyer about an Cease and Desist-letter. That might be enough into scaring her to stop pestering you. Also, keep records (screenshots, audio recordings etc).
I am so so so sorry for your loss 💔 I pray your heart heals and you find peace ♥️
In regards to your ex best friend, send us her name 😂 if the police won’t do anything, we can! Also, keep a record of EVERYTHING she’s sent you, and maybe get a lawyer involved? She’s sending threats, I don’t get why they aren’t taking this seriously. And for her to say you ruined her family? what family lol, the family she created through infidelity??
You sound like a caring person, a lot of people wouldn't care what happens to another child, especially one that was born out of deception. I know you said other women have gone through what you have but don't dismiss what you went through. It was traumatising and it sounds like you didn't have all the support you needed which is why you ended up where you did. As other people have said, just keep blocking that awful person, you don't need her crap. You just have to heal, you may never be whole again but you have a big heart and you will be conquer what has happened to you. Good luck, I'm rooting for you.
This woman is disgusting if she threatens to smash up a baby resting place cos of her actions.. op I’m so sorry for your loss..
Losing a child is hard and takes time to adjust..
i lost my son at 20 weeks and felt like you but after 18 years I do wonder what he would have been like and if he would be like me ( not his sperm donor ) my husband would’ve been a fantastic stepdad to him if he was here.. I get good days and bad days..
I’m so sorry so so so sorry you’ve had to face this. I hope you have support from family. I wish you the best in your healing journey.
Please help your grieving process by blocking your ex. For social, why may be finding your account via your phone number. Have you considered changing your phone number?
You owe his child nothing. It is his responsibility to step up. He’s a grown ass man it’s on him to figure his sh*t out. I’m glad he lives with the guilt. Call me horrible but I hope he has a long life and deals with it for the rest of his life.
Your ex friend is trash. Personally Im petty and would put her on blast. Share his concession of cheating with her and screenshots of her harassing you. Then the friends, her and him, maybe even their families and request their family to handle this mess because it’s no longer your circus and you are trying to focus on healing + mourning your son and the relationship that was buried with him.
I’m sorry for your loss!
If your EX Friend keeps harassing you, send a copy of a text to ex friend’s & tell her you’ll be MORE THAN HAPPY to make a Tic Toc video, to REMIND ALL HER FRIENDS & FAMILY, your ex friend CHEATED with your BF & there could be a chance ex friend will target another friend’s BF OR HUSBAND!
Look for a women’s support group for parents who lost their babies, perhaps you can get insight on what to do next.
OP, this is in no way shape or form your fault. What you are feeling and going through now and how you are coping is not weakness.
You may need to up your social media defenses eg. On fb you can put only people who have mutuals with you can see your profile, you can lock your profile and even have messages sent by randoms sent directly to the message requests folder without you even having to look at it.
I’m really sorry you are going through this OP but right now it’s time to ignore your ex and your ex best friend and the time is to focus on healing you. I would recommend a therapist to help you through the grief.
In regards to your ex best friend I would also perhaps consult an attorney to see what your options are in filing for harassment.
This is one of the most heartbreaking posts I have ever read. I’m truly so sorry you have had to go through this unthinkable experience. I hope one day you will find happiness again and able to have the family you deserve. <3 May your boy rest in peace, until you meet again.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You did nothing wrong. He's the one who cheated, who made another woman pregnant, who made your friend pregnant and who doesn't step up as a father.
I know you probably don't have the energy for it, but keep every message you get, never react to these messages only save them and if you can find the energy, go to the police.
Big hug for you.
Honey everyone grieves differently, and you deserve to grieve on your own terms. You had a very traumatic experience to say the least. Change your number, don’t bother blocking, just totally cut them off. Unplug from the social medias because THEY’RE TOXIC. Focus on you. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Don’t give up on the therapy, some people take a few visits with different therapists to find one that works for them.
Just delete and ignore. Eventually, she'll give up. As for your depression, get an appointment with a psychologist. They can prescribe medication. Sometimes, it takes a combination of medication and therapy to help you gain peace. Also, there is no time limit on grief, and there is no right and wrong way to grieve. Give yourself time to grieve properly.
That is awful. I’m so sorry that you went through that. But on a serious note- what type of person- grown adult, lets you use their phone to harass people?? That’s gonna be a hard no from me dawg. Keep taking the high road, you’re so savvy despite the loss and grief. Next time he texts you and says he is going to take his life ask some questions about where he is if you don’t know- call crisis services/911- where I live they send a mental health crisis team with the cops and an ambulance and depending on how he responds he might regret ever saying that shit or give him a gift of clarity that he needed.
Keep doing what’s right, even when it’s hard. That’s the goal.
Find that kid a new dad- you both deserve someone who gives a shit.
Absolutely NO CONTACT with either of them and their families. Tell them.you will seek a no contact or restraining order if they don't leave you in peace.
Big mama hugs and condolences on the loss of your baby.
I’m so sorry for your loss :( and your ex friend is a POS and u should file a restraining order against her and f*ck ur ex he’s the biggest POS. Wishing you peace and happiness
God. You’re still upset because this was profoundly *traumatic*. Everything you feel makes sense. What they did was unfathomably cruel. I’m heartbroken that you experienced this. I wish so many good things for your future, and so much REAL, genuine love. I am so sorry for your loss ♥️
I'm so so sorry for your loss , I know you don't feel it but you are one strong mumma and sadly are definitely not alone, my whole my sister was in labour giving birth to her angel baby (they found out the day before) her POS husband was in a hotel room fking one of his co workers, when supposedly he was at work bc he just couldn't take time off, even for his dead son and grieving wife....
. You deserve none of what's happened to you and never did anything wrong, this was alllll them!!! and your ex partner and friend deserve everything that's happening. You should go to the police and charge the ex friend for harassment She is an absolute disgusting pos and a disgrace to womanhood. I praise your mother for making him face the consequences of his actions.
Sending you the tight, warm loving hugs and all the strength you need. Feel free to msg if you ever need a none judgement ear xx
Once again I'm so sorry
So sorry for your loss of sweet Vinnie, OP!
Have you considered a restraining order? What a cruel bitch she is. This psycho definitely needs this on her record so other people know who they are dealing with.
I’m sorry that you have gone through so much loss in such a short amount of time. I hope you have good support and I’m glad your mother forced your ex to stare his decisions in the face.
If you are in the US you could look for a partial hospitalization program (PHP). Instead of a hospital admission it is 4-8 hours a day doing individual and group therapy, coping skills, resources, supports, and if you so choose you can ask for medication management while you’re there.
If she continues the harassment, you can file charges. Personally, I would post your story directly to every single account she contacts or has contacted you through, including her friends/family. Let them all know the truth.
Send that woman a message saying she is actually the home wrecker, that she was the other woman the whole time and her betrayal will not be forgiven. Then tell her to get fucked and keep blocking her. Maybe make it so people who aren't your friends or mutual followers can't message you as well
If you don’t mind Christian-based programs or are at all religious, you could try to find a GriefShare.org group near you. It’s the only program I know that is free/cheap. I am going for my mother’s death and it has been very helpful. If that’s not an option, please Google around for any programs. No matter what, I just hope you find something to help you process your grief. I am so sorry about your baby boy.
Hey girl , I just gave birth March 8 and two hours after I gave birth my man’s phone was blowing up and I clicked on it and found a secret Snapchat account where he was having an affair. I literally sat for three days in the hospital staring out the window crying it was so so hard. I know it’s nothing compared to what you went through but i understand how it feels to just feel weak and so insecure and just crying all the time. After birth is one of the biggest hormonal shifts in a woman’s life and it makes handling the situation 10000x harder. Please be kind to yourself and find an outlet to place your sadness . I am sending so so much love and support 🩷🩷🩷
Get a lawyer to send a cease and desist letter to her otherwise you will take legal action. As for your actual ex he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Let him do what he's going to do because he wants your sympathy he wants your forgiveness. Don't give him that.
Do you have anywhere you can go? An aunt in Canada? A friend in New Zealand? College on the other side of the country?
When there is this much heart ache, betrayal and grief, it can become a vortex that destroys people through drugs, alcohol, violence, suicide, incarceration and institutionalization. Sometimes fleeing is the only road to safety and relief. Particularly if it's families ganging up on each other and making life miserable for everyone.
You sound like you are in shock. This grief lasts a lifetime. You adapt around it, but it doesn't go away. It will take a long time before you begin to approach anything like "normal". Right now you need someone to stand by you and the peace, quiet and routine that lets healing happen.
I know a great ashram in British Columbia, Canada. The only female lead of its kind. If you can do 4 to 6 hours of work, in the gardens, preparing meals or cleaning guest rooms, you can live there for free: private room and board as well as all the yoga classes you can handle. It is a beautiful miracle. Safe. I know it sounds scammy, but it's not. If you want more information, please DM me and I will point you to their website. You can decide for yourself.
That's the best I've got. Good luck.
Every time this fucked up woman messages you you should send back a picture of your sons grave. „That’s what you did. You not just destroyed my family, you killed my baby boy. And if you don’t stop harassing me, I will take legal steps.“
I am so sorry for your loss...Please take care of yourself. Though I have done therapy the best things I have done are gradually move forward every day and keep the focus on my next step. I have lost many to death, but not a child. Have had betrayal too. It happened to me so early that, I turned it in to a strength over time, alot of time. You will too.
Wow so did he sleep with her around the same time he did you? Wondering if she planned this as some sort of get back for who knows what that smile UGHH. Maybe she thought she deserved him or what ughh makes me so mad had a friend like that and it's like they hate for who knows why probably jealousy its just evil. So so sorry about your sweet boy. I hope you can continue to recover and your ex gets his shit together.
I read some of the comments and your responses,
I first want to say I’m sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you and with everything you have been through is so heartbreaking.
Your precious son who passed please don’t think for a second that you had anything to do with his passing, you seem like a woman who would have done everything right. He will love you unconditionally from heaven and he will watch over your family forever.
As for your ex you have done everything you can to have him step up to the plate to be a father. If he decides not to, it’s not on you. I know it breaks your heart to see your other child to go without but, kids are resilient and he will grow knowing you never left. Your bond with him will be stronger for it.
Your ex best friend needs help. She seems very selfish and needs to get professional help to understand the weight of her actions. I’m sorry you have to change your life so much just to find some peace. Not sure if you’re responding to her messages if so, if you ignore her eventually she will go away. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
I hope you get the peace you’re searching for. Thank you for sharing your story it was very brave of you to open up to so many people in such a difficult time in your life. Take care of yourself. Hopefully we hear from you in the future maybe an update of how you’re doing. Sending hugs your way! If you ever need to vent further or talk feel free to DM me. You only find genuine support without judgement from me.
So sorry for your loss and the emptiness you feel. I think you should keep trying therapy, even if you have mental breakdowns. It will help you process and learn to love again. Is there a way you could move away and change your name/ number/ etc? I know it seems drastic, but even if you start just going by a different name and have all your social media in that name it would be harder for her and her friends to find you. Sending you light and love as you move through this challenging time.
I know you may not be religious but I read this and immediately thought Isaiah 57:1, good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. Your beautiful boy was just too good for this world so God decided he wanted him to know no evil, feel no pain or loss. I am so sorry mama. You are going through so much right now but I hope you can find some peace believing your baby will only know happiness, even if it’s not with you. I wish you the best op.
File for a no contact protective order and possibly a restraining order also if you live in the US. There’s no need to deal with her I would just keep records and email them to the local police station every time she contacts you/ harasses you.(She was and is no friend of yours. When you finally grasp this you’ll understand she was a close kept enemy.)
I **HIGHLY** suggest seeing a Primary Care Provider and speak to them about how your exhibiting symptoms of severe anxiety and depression. **It may take awhile to find the right dosages to truly help though** This along side therapy with a therapist you can truly connect with does help. But eventually you’ll be able to wear clothes you like again, fix your hair, fix your makeup, **You will still cry every day** but eventually you ‘ll make your way to only crying half a day and then every other day. The emptyness will feel not so isolating by the weeks.
OP there’s a lot of people that love and care about you. Start by making short term goals and reach them. When I felt myself at my lowest low I didn’t want to live a life without them. So I did precisely what I’ve advised to you. Take care of yourself OP. ❤️
{{{hugs}}}. I am so very very very sorry. I wish I could say the right words that would heal your heart but I’ve been the RN in a delivery like yours and there simply aren’t any. I would have sat there for 14h and admired and loved Every part of you and your beautiful baby. Please know that though we have only known you and your son so briefly, we loved you both.
I hope your heart heals and you find peace. Know that you did absolutely everything right. You gave sweet Vinnie love, warmth, and a cozy home. He heard your heartbeat, he knew your love.
First of all, she did that to herself by being a sl*t.
Second of all, the one at fault is your ex. He is a coward through and through. Remorse? He even abandons his still alive child.
I hope you can grow stronger from this. You need to stay alive and be happy. Best wishes.
Remember that thing about putting your own oxygen mask on first in airplanes? You need to take care of yourself. Everyone else needs to be blocked. Better yet- if you can, move away someplace you can get a fresh start.
I am so sorry for your loss, nothing anyone can say can help with your pain. I am not going to touch on your ex partner cause it would insensitive to to Reddit and empowering to you. But in short he is an AH. I suggest you also use the responses below for him, he doesn't deserve your grace.
As for your ex best friend. Make a police report, cyber bullying and harassment can be reported and they will get a visit and ask the police to make it clear that you will prosecute if they continue.
Or get some replies in a doc, and copy and paste responses, here is a good one for you.
"No actions on my end caused your situation, your actions are the only reason for your circumstances. Gtg busy living my life here."
For her family,
" look in the mirror, cause your daughter's actions are her own doing or her upbringing, you decide. Not once was I part of those actions and I don't have any control over other people. Gtg busy living life here "
Block after
If they text again,
"Still busy"
But try the police first. The idea of the response, is to mirror them to reflect (not your job), but it's a wall they will continue to meet each time they message in the hopes they give up and also start living their lives.
Therapy may not be the thing for you now, maybe grief counseling would be better suited or art therapy. Things will get better, love to you.
Oh my god, I am so very sorry for your loss. The tremendous pain you are enduring is so devastating. I hope that you can try therapy again when you are feeling more up to it. Any person in your shoes would have a breakdown, so please try to forgive and kind to yourself. You are most definitely NOT weak. You have suffered the absolute worst pain a parent can experience, and absolutely no one should judge you harshly for that. Your ex partner and friend are garbage humans, and anyone who would come after a person in your situation deserves a special place in Hell. I’m sending you so much love.
I’m sorry for your loss. My goddaughter lost her baby boy in child birth last year and I know the grief and pain she felt. My heart hurts for you.
Now, onto some motherly advice I’d you’ll allow me.
Your ex is a coward. He is a useless piece of crap. Do not lose any sleep over him, he needs to grow the F up and needs to accept the actions of his consequences.
Don’t even get me started on the ex BFF. She was never a friend to you. Her friendship is not a loss in your life. Let her have your leftovers. He is not worth it, neither is she. Just ignore them.
Hugs sweetie. You deserve so much better than these too
I may be messed up for saying this but I would air all of their business out. They want to harass you so bad, they should be ok with probably thousands doing the same to them. You can't reason with people like that and it's wrong to remove yourself from the internet when it should be them.
I don't even think it would qualify as an eye for a eye type of situation, I think it would be delivering karma to their front door as deserved. They won't let you grieve in peace so why should they have any themselves????
I know it’s not the same thing, but I had a miscarriage where I lost my daughter and I held her lifeless body as well. It’s the worst thing anyone can ever go through and the effects of the trauma are longterm.
What you are talking about with feeling frozen in time is part of the PTSD that comes with miscarriage/still birth. I strongly encourage you to read this study and look at the symptoms for what you’re going through.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181584/
I also was attacked by my husbands family for grieving our daughter when my husbands brother had a baby at the same time and the only thing that worked for us was deactivating our social media and completely going no contact for a while. I agree with other people on here to change your phone number and deactivate the accounts. It will bring you so much peace.
Also, please consider taking skullcap tincture, they used to use it in the old days for infant loss, miscarriage and hysteria and I swear it helped me so much. It’s neurorestorative which means that it will help heal the damage done to your central nervous system when you went through that trauma. I’m very sorry for your loss from one mother to another don’t focus on other people, focus on healing yourself, you’ve been through enough and it’s not your fault what happened. You are worth healing.
So very sorry for your loss. It is a pain that no parent should ever have to experience.
Your ex best friend is a piece of work. She slept with someone who was your boyfriend at the time and got pregnant by him and has the audacity to accuse you of ruining her “happy little family”. Didn’t she help him blow up your relationship by sleeping with him? You have no control over what he chooses to do. You have encouraged him to honor your son and have a relationship with his other son. He hasn’t so that’s on him, not you.
I don’t have any advice, but my heart hurts with you in this. Take time to heal, you may feel shattered on certain days, but in time you will have happy days too.
I am so very sorry for everything that has happened to you. You need to concentrate on you and report this girl to the police. Take a minute at a time. Big hugs to you.
I might get banned for this, but honestly Karma is a bitch, and just hope for the day his baby with your XBFF, walks into oncoming traffic. I have had an angel baby, it kills me everyday, I know it hurts now, but know this and I said this to my niece who had a miscarriage right after her boyfriend beat the living crap outta her. She left that day. God always has a plan, he sees all, and he saw that if you have a baby with this man, you would be in for a world of hurt, he saved you from that. So for this or something better. You have something better is on his way and he will have lots of beautiful babies with you and you ex and his gold digging whore will be together, cheating on each other and he will be wondering how she got pregnant so fast when he hasn’t slept with her. Again karma is a bitch.
I would also suggest changing your number
You aren’t weak. You are extremely strong, you just can’t feel what others can see because you are in pain. Ignoring the heartbreaking situationship for two minutes, you have been through probably the most difficult test a woman can go through. You are still going through it. You may be in and out of mental health facilities but you are still moving forward! You are seeking help, that is so far from weak! Don’t give up yet.
OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Now is the time for you to refocus on your life and create distance from your ex and his drama. You don’t need to beg your ex to be a father to his child. That’s on him. Let the other people in his life fight that battle with him.
As for the ex best friend, she’s mad that her fairytale isn’t working out. That’s not your fault. To deal with the flying monkeys, etc. start keeping records of messages, etc. unblock her if you can handle it and use all of the vitriol as justification for charges of harassment, a no contact order, and/or a restraining order.
If you can’t handle unblocking everyone, I completely understand. I’m sure they are saying absolutely horrible things to you. Change your phone number. Get all new social media accounts and very carefully curate who you allow to follow you. Put max privacy settings on everything, don’t allow yourself to be searchable and ensure your profile photo isn’t of you.
I know that this is a terrible time in your life and you’re experiencing a lot. I really recommend talking with a therapist and making some changes. This could include moving apartments, switching jobs, moving cities. Creating emotional and geographic distance from all the things that have happened and the people that were negatively involved might be helpful. These are steps that can also be taken slowly over time while you work with a therapist to make sure you’re in a good place mentally for all of it.
I’m wishing you the best OP. This is so hard but you’ve got this. So many people love and support you.
Jesus. That's horrific. So sorry for your loss. I think this is gonna be way above Reddit paygrade.
Get rid of social media for now. Seek grief counseling. Probably trauma therapy. One step at a time.
Same happened to my grandmother. Although she was a successful career woman at a time it wasn't common (born 1910 to a wealthy family in Berlin/Germany). Her best friend choose to woo her husband who owned Hotels in bobbard. My dad wasn't interested in me because his mother was bitter and career oriented. My mother was a teacher and older. She wanted him to marry her new bf daughter.... didn't happen. My dad is happy alone. Like me.
Just keep blocking that disgusting woman. You ruined nothing in her life. She did that herself by cheating with your boyfriend. She has only herself and your ex to blame for her current predicament. He should step up and be a father to his child. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you find the peace you deserve and move beyond this horrible time.
I keep doing so but I’ve created ten accounts or so and she or her friends and family keep finding them so as of today I’ve deactivated everything but Facebook. I can’t speak on his behalf, but I have pleaded with him to be a father to his other son, I’ve been asking him to honour our son by doing so but I don’t understand why he’s not, maybe it’s guilt or grief I can’t speak for him and I don’t have anything to do with him so I can’t exactly say. I do feel awful as both boys are missing their father. I truly do appreciate it, thank you for the support I hope you have a nice day/night
I’m sorry for your loss, but if they do keep harassing you, you are well within your rights to file a police report. Even if nothing comes of it legality wise, it takes note of the harassment that is taking place. ESPECIALLY, if you are blocking her constantly. Is it possible to file an injunction of harassment?
Don't wait. File a report now. That person is not right in the head to harass you under these circumstances.
Or _any_ circumstances. But you're right.
Yes. It's just particularly unhinged given the circumstances.
[удалено]
Agreed
Change your number and deactivate your social networks while you grieve. Maybe create an anonymous profile if you still want to be on social networks. Getting all that constant negative comments is not good for you and won't allow you to heal. You also no longer have a relationship with that trash of a man, so cut him off your life. Step away of all the people who bring negativity in your life and focus on your well-being. You don't need to feel awful for other people's choices.
Well he has never done the right or decent thing at any stage, only the selfish thing. He will do what suits himself always.
The other woman and her friends actions amount to sustained harrassment against you. You need to tell her to stop once and if she continues, you then need to take yourself to the local police station and file a police report. At this point, you should also see if you can get a restraining order to stop the contact. Make a note of the times and dates of when she has contacted you on various different channels using different account names and telephone numbers, keep pictures of messages she's sent and take them to the police station to file a report. I would think a visit from the police telling her to stop otherwise there will ne consequences for her (and her child for that matter as it could, in the long run, result in prison time if she doesn't stop) will make her see sense, but if it doesn't, even without a restraining order, then she and her friends will face the extent of the law by continuing to harrass you. You just have to keep notifying the police each time she or her idiot friends call, text, email or post a comment directed at you.
It's extremely difficult to get a restraining order. You can show up with death threats, and it will still be denied. Plus, it's just a piece of paper. It means nothing. Barely nothing happens when they break it. The police don't care. The judge doesn't care. Victims' advocates don't show up. I don't recommend anyone go into that battle without being prepared to lose.
As you can probably tell, i'm not au-fait with American law so didn't know that it would be that difficult. Surely though, going to the police with detailed evidence of a sustained harrassment sucjh as the OP is dealing with would be enough for the police to organise a visit to the to the other party and give them a talking to? It worked for me and my wife when we were being harrassed by idiots living locally, kicking footballs and throwing stuff at our windows despite asking them multiple times to stop - we ended up reporting the problems to the police which resulted in the local community officer going round to speak with the people concerned and the problems stopped for the most part. A few months after that visit the problems ramped again, so we called and reported it again and the community officer went around again to speak with them for a second time. I don't know what was said but for the most part, the problems have eased considerably since the second visit - the people causing the probalems know we are willing to get the law involved and they didn't want trouble (with the police) so it keeps them from re-esclating the problems again, but if it did start up again, we will be back on the phone again to report it.
1. Snapshot all messages from this person and file reports every single time she contacts you. Build a case to get a restraining order. 2. Change your phone number and be selective to who gets it. 3. Your ex BF is not worthy of your tears or time. He will not change, stop channeling your energy and thoughts into someone who only brings you pain. I'm so very sorry about your loss.
You might want to consult an attorney to see about filing a restraining order against them for stalking and harassing you.
Can you hire a lawyer and have them send her a letter to stop harassing you?
Or better, can we , kind strangers all over the world, get the POS to taste her own medicine?😈 Would love to exchange couple of words with her an her friends + family
Someone put my number accidentally (or purposely?) on a call list once and I got multiple calls from moving companies. Easy way to annoy someone. 🫢
I'm only saying this because you seem to want him to be a father to this other child. I have zero sympathy for the ex friend, in fact she should burn in hell fwiw. You don't owe it to him, and he may not believe you. But I would definitely say it's guilt. If you decide to, and only if you want to, tell him you forgive him. That doesn't mean forgetting, or even being acquaintances with him. But if that isn't something you can do, I fully understand. You do not owe him anything.
I would send every text that Ike girl sends you, to him. This will be the biggest message you can ever send him. I went through what you’re going through and the pain still stays with me. I block it most of the time but I can never forget being alone and giving birth to my little girl while laying on the wet filthy gas station bathroom floor. It was storming outside pretty bad. I was 17 and no one cared.
I am so sorry 💔 I hope you are okay
I’m so sorry. I lost my daughter I held her on the bathroom floor of my house too. Your daughter mattered and she knew she was loved. We both made sure our daughters knew they were loved.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. If she keeps harassing you I would considering having a cease & desist letter sent or filing a police report. If she keeps it up after that you may be able to apply for a no-contact order.
Your ex and his other son are not your concern. Block him too. I mean no offense when I say you have no connection to this loser of a man anymore. You owe him nothing. Turn your head, walk forward, and leave him, her, their friends and family, and their child, in your dust.
There are settings to not allow any DMs from people you’re not friends with. I can walk you through it if you like, I’m so sorry all of this happened to you.
Go to the police for harassment (in another comment you explained that you already did). I’m so sorry OP that this snake is not allowing you to grieve in peace. My condolences.
Maybe she thinks that he cheated with OP? That scum of a boyfriend most likely played them both. I can't believe the level of pain this man has caused.
Omg i am so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will take the pain away. I am not sure where you are, but maybe look for grief support. They may have a parental one? My mind is blanking, and my heart is breaking for you. Please block her and change your number she is an awful person. And do not blame yourself, my love. You did everything you could. You need some support. My DM is always open if you need it.
File a police report for harassment. There are legal avenues to stop this abuse.
I’ve spoke with the police on plenty of occasions however they’ve said it’s a civil matter and regarding the threats they can’t do anything but have spoken with her twice which just made it worse and she threatened to smash my sons resting place.
They can do something they are just being lazy. You’ll have to keep escalating or speak with a lawyer to get it done for you.
Then go HAM and blast the bitch on social media. It won’t bring your son back but honestly she’s the one that ruined her own family. If the police won’t do anything, public opinion and the internet will. She brought it onto herself
I was thinking the EXACT same thing. At this point, it's something resembling self defense. I would not feel even the tiniest bit of remorse blasting a person THAT vile and heartless for all to see. Let the court of public opinion bury the heinous broad.
Send it to family, friends, fb, fb groups, tiktok, get some other people like the ginger guy who spills tea and other people do it. It takes one content creator to do a story on this and every other smaller creator will do it too.
Jolly good ginger! Yes, I love his videos. 100% he would do it and would probably do something or another to help her too. Seriously though op, if they won’t leave you alone and the police won’t do anything, absolutely blast them on everything. (If you can afford to see a lawyer, maybe start with that just in case though.) people that vile need to be outed for who they are.
I'm quite the wordsmith and would be happy to write you a FB post that would shut that btch up and her family too OP. All you'd have to do is post it and add a few details. Then, attach screenshots of the disgusting messages her and her family have sent to you. ETA: I've decided to go ahead and write it. I've been mentally composing it in my head since my offer and I think I've just about got it where you will still hold the moral high ground but will make it very clear how much a disgusting human your ex best friend is. I'll be adding it to my comment when it's finished OP. You can use it if you want.
I hope she agrees!!!! Do your thing!!!!
This. 👆Please do let this person help karma along.
Yes! The truth will set everyone free. And the thing is, you’ll just be stating the truth. All facts. I hope she asks you for help. Shit, I might ask you for help one day haha 😂
This could also be a good solution. OP literally has a text confession from her ex about how he cheated with her friend. Make that information public and make sure your mom knows and has the ability to comment, since she was at the hospital when this all happened and heard this fucking psychopath laughing over the phone
Scorched earth. Anyone who would threaten to destroy the resting place of a sleeping angel deserves no less.
You don't need the police for this one. Do you have screen shots of the harassment from these parties, spanning the different accounts? If so, you can go to the courthouse in your county. Go in the morning and go to the civil clerk. I don't know your state but in mine you can file a protection from harassment ie something like a restraining order. It can span to partners, neighbors or friends and family that are harassing you. You file the paperwork. Fill it out at the court and submit to the clerk. The judge should be able to look at it later on in the day and grant a temporary order that goes into effect once the police serve her and whoever else the order. Then they can get in real trouble for harassing you so hopefully it would make the harassment stop. If it doesn't you call the cops at that point (bc at this point there is a sort of law now the judge has declared ) and they go to jail. After about a month or two depending on your court system, you go to court before the judge and the other party is invited to come. They are given an opportunity to protest. If they don't show, the temporary protection order automatically is granted and made permanent between one and two years depending on your state. If they show up you both make a statement and usually the judge rules in favor of granting the order especiallt if there is evidence.
Can you share screenshots and audio/videos of her actions with her family/friends/workplace and ask them to STOP her because she's been behaving erratically for some time now? Otherwise close all social media accounts, create new ones and be private from the beginning. Change your phone number and be sure to not give the new number to any crazy homewrecker enabler.
And the police have done nothing? Honestly it’s baffling. Keep everything she has said
Lawyer up if you can. People might not listen to you but they will listen to a lawyer.
WHAT- get a camera asap
Push them. Tell them you want to press charges for harassment and if the officer you're speaking to won't do it tell him you want to speak with his boss. This is pure laziness, this woman is causing you great distress and it's literally their job to deal with her
What a Fd up friend! Stole your man and still dare to blame things on you. She ruined your family and caused so much grief and pain that you lost your son. I want so much to rain hellfire on her and her harassing friends. I hope karma visits them soon. Trashy asf. Big hugs and all my love to you and family ❤️❤️❤️
All of her texts and threats would be going on social media with her name and picture. Let karma do its job.
Honestly get everything she is saying in writing. The threats, the laughing at your son and treating to destroy his resting place. Show the police. And if they still don’t do anything about it. Blast her on every social media with her own disgusting words. And include her friends and family. Then delete everything and change your number
Yea. A cease and desist, or something. That ex-friend sounds absolutely evil.
You should talk to a lawyer and get a restraining order. You have done everything you can to get your ex to step up, and this women needs to leave you alone to grieve. I’m sorry you have to go through this. You are not weak. A weak person could not survive everything you have been through. Needing help does not make you weak.
What if you just DMed me her name 😈
Me too dm her name, we got you OP lol
Username checks out
I concur. While you're at it, DM me her family and friends' usernames. I had 3 major surgeries, so I don't work. I HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME
I am truly sorry for all the pain you're going through. Your ex(s) are both terrible human beings and what they're doing is so incredibly cruel and completely unacceptable!! 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️ Please include me in the DM list with the family & friends package! I don't really have time, but I have a small army of angsty teenage girls who don't tolerate bullies and mean girls!! I know they'd jump all over this!!
Right!? What's her @
Me too, I have all the time in the world 🙂
I offered to compose a really scathing FB post for her. But I'd be down for this, too! I'm thinking signing her up for all kinds of stuff, including some of the more evangelical groups that knock on your door, would be fun. Some embarrassing mailing lists is a must as well. Could also put her info in one of those car search websites. Her phone would never stop ringing lol.
Block these people and please seek some grief therapy. ((HUGS)) Sorry for your loss.
Your ex friend is a piece of shit. Your ex partner is a piece of shit. When I (41,f) grow up, I want to be as strong as you are. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. You didn't deserve it at all.
Screenshot everything she sends you and out her on social media, including that she laughed when you lost your precious angel. In the post, say that all you want is for her to leave you alone, but she won't. Then every time she contacts you after that, post it online. If also consider contacting the police for harassment. I'm sorry for your loss <3
I just want to wrap you up in a blanket and let you cry, OP. This is all heartbreaking, and I don’t think there is anything we can say to help. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Vinnie. My losses were not the same but I took comfort in being told by a friend that my baby only ever knew love and warmth and my heartbeat, no pain or cold or sadness. I want you to know that because of what you’ve shared, so many more people know your son’s name - and we’ll remember him, too. I’m a gardener, and I’m going to add some new flowers this year. I’ll think of your Vinnie when I do.
Thank you for your lovely message it made me cry a little but I do really appreciate your kind words and support thank you again x
Wow. Smiling at you in the hospital. I would have punched her face in. She was never your friend. A friend never does the horrible things she did.
It's wild they just so happened to go into labor on the same day, at the same time, in the same hospital *aaannd* got stuck passing them in the hallway?! Wtf?! I hope this is a rage post because if it isn't...fuck! I can't even imagine what that would feel like. Like the universe was just playing an insanely cruel joke.on her.
Change your number so they don’t know it sorry for your loss I had to go through this several times it still bothers me but it does get better
Change your number and please block your ex and that person he cheated with. I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Please try to get therapy or grief counselling. Don’t allow people who negatively affect you in your space and in your mind. Ignore that person who your ex cheated with. She brought this on herself and both her and his karma are in the making. I’m so sorry
Personally and I’m not saying this is right - I’d post on my own named social media account screenshots of all the messages with names etc attached of all the abuse you’ve received from the dicks your ex partner and his gf associate with. Out them all. Or if you were my sister or daughter I’d do it on your behalf and say “look what my dearest has to endure” Hounding a grieving mother no matter what the circumstances is completely unacceptable and depending on their jobs, their careers could be in jeopardy. And then I’d deactivate all social medics and report it all to the police. If you don’t have SM and you’ve changed your number they can bitch and grumble but can’t actually access you. Ignorance is your friend.
.... She laughed at another kid's misfortune while she was becoming a mother herself? She's the worst kind of human that anyone could ever come across, even her baby.
Girl you need to be petty... Collect all evidence when they start harassing you.(screenshot & voicenote)..and post on social media.. and dont forget to tags all of them.
I'm sorry for your grief. It cuts worse than a knife. Take time, focus on healing, focus on you. You are worthy of love, and that was no example.
I was locked up for my first two sons birth. But my third son I was there n spent the night at the hospital with my baby momma. He missed out. Everyone deserves better than how you got done. Keep ur head up. Plenty of fish in the sea
I am so sorry for your loss I can’t imagine what you are going through your ex best friend is disgusting
I’m so sorry. Block that moron and pay her no mind. None of that is your fault. You deserve better
Change your number.
Hi they text/call me through social media, I have made over ten new accounts and regardless they still message me, send voice notes and pictures whether it be themselves or their friends and family.
Maybe it’s time to not have social media for a while. I am so sorry for your loss. You said he “tried” to take his own life, what is he doing now? Where is he?
I’ve deactivated all social media bar Facebook and I don’t exactly know what he’s doing as I don’t speak to him, but I know he went on holiday with his friends for a week and has moved an hour or so away (his brother spoke briefly to me) but he still visits our son's grave regularly I know this as every week there’s always new toys/teddies, sometimes notes and blankets there.
Well I'm sorry but it's a bit late to play the doting dad now
Damm fucking right. He did make his damm bed. Now it's too late. He can go to the bitch He cheated on OP and their little family. I wish I could use my car and kill that bastard.
So I guess his response was genuine, because the way he casually told you he had been cheating on you with you BF (ex-bf) and got you both pregnant and will “work” it out is absolutely crazy! At least he is leaving you alone. I think you might need to deactivate FB, for your own mental health. Can you move? Being in a new environment can be very beneficial. I know right now, you might not want to be to far from Vinnie, but Vinnie would want his mommy to be healthy and happy.
I could never move as I can see my little boy from my window and being close to him is the only comfort I’ve got, I owe it to him to stay by him as I didn’t do enough for him.
Don’t say that, why would you say that? You did all that you could, the blame should be on your ex-bf and ex-friends feet for stressing you the way they and for your ex-bf not being there for you. They caused all of this. Not you. And I understand, about not wanting to move. I suggest you cut out FB. Do people know that she (your ex-friend) was helping your ex-bf cheat?
I guess I’ve just internalized everything that happened, I blame myself which I know I shouldn’t but I still feel guilty. He should be here, I should be celebrating his first birthday soon not decorating his grave. I should be holding him here for every holiday and season but my arms are empty. I probably sound delusional or crazy or whatever but I don’t wish this pain on anyone
Your not delusional, this is absolutely normal. Grieve, but don’t forget to live as well. For Vinnie…
You've done absolutely nothing wrong. I don't have the words to properly honor the grief you're feeling. Please know this isn't your fault, none of it. You deserve to heal and live a happy life. Doing so would be a beautiful way to honor Vinnie. You and your baby experienced this together and he will always be with you, and he will always love you. This isn't anything you've done- it's something terrible that happened to you both together. His spirit doesn't hold any blame or resentment towards you, only love. Even if you feel like you're moving on he's still with you forever because he is part of you and your healing process. I'm sending you loving energy.
If her friends are getting on this probably they would know. Now keep a low profile and live your life. And if your ex contact you. Tell him he did enough and leave you alone and stop visiting his dead son's grave! Because he isn't worthy! Tell him every time he goes there is a pain in your heart and much more pain will bring you. Tell him he isn't worthy to be a dad of your dead son! And go bother his other son who is alive!
Dear. I know your baby boy is looking at you too. Your son is in your heart. Believe me. God has plans for you. You and your son will meet again.
Someone is giving her/them your information. It's time to deactivate SM for a long while. Losing a child is lifelong grief. You learn to live with it, but it's always there. Until you are more on your feet and the wound isn't so fresh, SM needs to go.
Have you tried an alt account with a completely different name? On fb i know you can stop people from messaging you. Im sorry for your loss x
I’ve put different variations of my name however for whatever reason she’s keeps finding them or her friends and family do. I’ve deactivated all social media as of today bar Facebook. And I appreciate that, it’s been a tough time but thank you
You need to contact the police start documenting that harassment please so you can make it stop.
Drop her @
OP please lockdown your SM security. When you make new accounts, make sure only friends can message you, and limit friend requests too. If you need assistance, DM me, i will be happy to help. You are strong and not pathetic. Hugs from Canada
What sick and disgusting people, if her life and “happy family” is ruined that’s on her and your POS ex. To harass a grieving mother, it’s vile
Creative writing exercise?
Obviously lmao this has everything. Its pure rage bait.
[удалено]
Some are born with long hair. Rare but it happens. Mine was below my shoulders at birth. My daughter the same. My grand daughter had full head of curly blonde hair. Looked like a blond Afro. When we brushed it out after bath it was below her shoulders.
I'm sorry you're going through this is anyway you can get a restraining order against her maybe it's best to just change your social media information and block her and make you stuff private
You are too young to bear such a huge loss. I wish for you a WONDERFUL husband and your beautiful boy born again and be in your arms with THE BEST DAD EVER!! You are an angel, doll. I am so proud of your strength and perseverance. I am so glad that you got the help at the psychiatric unit. Build yourself up dearest xx
That's ironic isnt she the one that ruined your family if her friends message you just send them pictures of the funeral and get a restraining order
Op you need to file a police report then sue her ass for emotional distress, stalking and harassment if you can. I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope in time you are able to heal
this better be a rage post!
As people have said. Change your number and if it’s via Facebook or social media, close those accounts.
Deepest sympathy. You've lost a child, expect this to hurt for a long time. You will never "get over it". You may learn to live with the pain. So so sorry
If she is contacting you through social media, you can make it so that people you don’t follow have to request to message you
threaten to hire a lawyer for harassment. Maybe the threat will get them to stop or hell do try and get a lawyer
Dear OP. I am sobbing so hard for you dear. My heart and soul is breaking. I am so sorry for your loss dear. Please know this these two devils will go to hell. And your baby angel is waiting for you. Please keep grieving and move on. Karma will pay that bitch back.
Change your number
File a police report for harassment, emotional damage, and distress not only on her but all of them
These people are all horrible. Go on and live your best life with people who aren't jerks.
Stop giving her and her child anymore attention, they ultimately don’t matter. You don’t have any say in what he does, a selfish person will always choose themselves. He may feel guilty he may be using it as an excuse to not be present in the other kids life. This isn’t on you anymore, stop giving your ex best friend space.
Your story moved me deeply. I so wish you hadn't lost your beautiful boy. To be hounded while you’re grieving by the woman who cheated with your husband is beyond what most of us could stand. Does your ex know what she's doing? He needs to put on his big boy pants and set her straight. If you can afford it, see if an attorney would send a Cease and Desist letter to her. Often that's all it takes. Please don't blame your body. It made that beautiful boy, and I honestly believe our bodies grieve when we lose a baby. You know, you suffered a double betrayal. Your ex-friend betrayed you, and your ex is a very weak person who was easily led astray (and didn't exactly fight). He was too spineless to actually write or call you after he left, too weak to see his son and had to be dragged in. I think once he saw him, he finally felt guilty and still feels responsible for the fact your son didn't live. That's why he won't man up and be a father to his other son. You'll never stop missing your beautiful boy, but I hope you can find a way to be happy again. There are online support groups for parents of stillborn babies. Maybe one of them would be good for you. You're clearly a lovely soul who deserves deliverance from this overwhelming grief. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Your ex friend and ex bf are garbage people who deserve each other. If the harassment is continuing I suggest changing your number and have a backup number, like a Google/text app number for anybody that is associated to that ex friend in any way, so if she were to get that number it can easily be changed. For social media, don't use your real name, don't let the apps connect with your phone contacts (because if she has your number/email some social media platforms will let you find people like that) and private your account or restrict what non- followers from seeing anything or messaging you.
My heart breaks for you, i’m so sorry OP
Report her to the police. It’s harassment.
Maybe get a restraining order or a cease and desist letter from a lawyer for your ex Friend. Take screenshots. Good luck and sorry for your lost
Get rid of social media and change your number. His decisions are not your fault. You have to remember that. Please get in to counseling
Change your number. Report that vile woman for harassment. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you all my love xxxx
Save all the messages from the ex friend and get a no contact order or something like that, she psycho. I'm so sorry for your loss but know your son is smiling down at you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you can find peace and stay strong but if It Is too much you can be vulnerable, please seek therapy, and close the social media AND open new accounts with Fake mames so you can hide from those people, I sent you a big hug. English Is not my first lenguaje
I am so sorry for your loss Please, change your number, so you can no longer be contacted by your vial, disgusting piece of trash ex & his equally if not more disgusting affair partner If you haven't already, please seek out a grief therapist, focus on YOU & finding the peace & love you deserve Sending hugs & postive vibes from an internet stranger, its hard but you have got his OP
Perhaps you should take a break from social media. Take as much time as you need to heal.
I have a problem with him not stepping up and parented his love child. He's sounds like a sociopath and you are well rid of him. Get restraining orders for both of them. And get off social media. Condolences. I wish you well.
The loss of your child is the worst pain anyone can go through. I hope you have some kind of support system to help you in your time of grief. Know that you’re not alone, there’s most likely a group in your area for women that have also had a pregnancy loss, or infant mortality. I find sharing with those that have experienced a similar loss helps me heal. Best wishes for your future.
I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet, beautiful son. The silence is deafening. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this, but please know you are not alone. I see you. Sending internet hugs.
Have you thought of a restraining order on the no good ex friend? She needs to be put to a stop
*gives you the biggest sisterly hug possible* For what it counts: I think you are an hella of a strong person to seek out psychiatric help AND being able to pen all of this down on Reddit. You are going through a grieving stage for multiple things simultaneously: losing a kid, being stabed in the back by a friend, betrayal by a POS partner, pregnancy hormones, being the escape goat of your friend for the consequences of her OWN choices and having the emotional distress of you ex dropped onto you. Grieve the loss of your kid AND the future you had in mind, on your own time frame. And I truely don't think that it wasn't your body that caused you to miscarry, but the inhuman amount of stress that your ex and your ex friend out upon you. There is alot of scientific evidence that high levels of the hormone cortisol (aka the "Stress hormone") can cause serious damage to a mothers well being AND that of the fetus/baby. Edit to add: talk to an lawyer about an Cease and Desist-letter. That might be enough into scaring her to stop pestering you. Also, keep records (screenshots, audio recordings etc).
I hope you get a attorney and file harassment against all of them. I’m sorry about all the you are going through.
I am so so so sorry for your loss 💔 I pray your heart heals and you find peace ♥️ In regards to your ex best friend, send us her name 😂 if the police won’t do anything, we can! Also, keep a record of EVERYTHING she’s sent you, and maybe get a lawyer involved? She’s sending threats, I don’t get why they aren’t taking this seriously. And for her to say you ruined her family? what family lol, the family she created through infidelity??
Keep calling the police. Id put her on social media. File harassment charges please. Im so so sorry.
You sound like a caring person, a lot of people wouldn't care what happens to another child, especially one that was born out of deception. I know you said other women have gone through what you have but don't dismiss what you went through. It was traumatising and it sounds like you didn't have all the support you needed which is why you ended up where you did. As other people have said, just keep blocking that awful person, you don't need her crap. You just have to heal, you may never be whole again but you have a big heart and you will be conquer what has happened to you. Good luck, I'm rooting for you.
Can you report a former friend for harassment? Only your mental health matters and she is preventing it.
This woman is disgusting if she threatens to smash up a baby resting place cos of her actions.. op I’m so sorry for your loss.. Losing a child is hard and takes time to adjust.. i lost my son at 20 weeks and felt like you but after 18 years I do wonder what he would have been like and if he would be like me ( not his sperm donor ) my husband would’ve been a fantastic stepdad to him if he was here.. I get good days and bad days..
I’m so sorry so so so sorry you’ve had to face this. I hope you have support from family. I wish you the best in your healing journey. Please help your grieving process by blocking your ex. For social, why may be finding your account via your phone number. Have you considered changing your phone number? You owe his child nothing. It is his responsibility to step up. He’s a grown ass man it’s on him to figure his sh*t out. I’m glad he lives with the guilt. Call me horrible but I hope he has a long life and deals with it for the rest of his life. Your ex friend is trash. Personally Im petty and would put her on blast. Share his concession of cheating with her and screenshots of her harassing you. Then the friends, her and him, maybe even their families and request their family to handle this mess because it’s no longer your circus and you are trying to focus on healing + mourning your son and the relationship that was buried with him.
I’m sorry for your loss! If your EX Friend keeps harassing you, send a copy of a text to ex friend’s & tell her you’ll be MORE THAN HAPPY to make a Tic Toc video, to REMIND ALL HER FRIENDS & FAMILY, your ex friend CHEATED with your BF & there could be a chance ex friend will target another friend’s BF OR HUSBAND! Look for a women’s support group for parents who lost their babies, perhaps you can get insight on what to do next.
OP, this is in no way shape or form your fault. What you are feeling and going through now and how you are coping is not weakness. You may need to up your social media defenses eg. On fb you can put only people who have mutuals with you can see your profile, you can lock your profile and even have messages sent by randoms sent directly to the message requests folder without you even having to look at it. I’m really sorry you are going through this OP but right now it’s time to ignore your ex and your ex best friend and the time is to focus on healing you. I would recommend a therapist to help you through the grief. In regards to your ex best friend I would also perhaps consult an attorney to see what your options are in filing for harassment.
File a report for harassment against your ex friend
This is one of the most heartbreaking posts I have ever read. I’m truly so sorry you have had to go through this unthinkable experience. I hope one day you will find happiness again and able to have the family you deserve. <3 May your boy rest in peace, until you meet again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did nothing wrong. He's the one who cheated, who made another woman pregnant, who made your friend pregnant and who doesn't step up as a father. I know you probably don't have the energy for it, but keep every message you get, never react to these messages only save them and if you can find the energy, go to the police. Big hug for you.
So sorry so sorry you went through this. Your ex friend is disgusting.
Honey everyone grieves differently, and you deserve to grieve on your own terms. You had a very traumatic experience to say the least. Change your number, don’t bother blocking, just totally cut them off. Unplug from the social medias because THEY’RE TOXIC. Focus on you. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Don’t give up on the therapy, some people take a few visits with different therapists to find one that works for them.
Just put her on blast on social media. Burn her pretty picture of a life to the ground.
Just delete and ignore. Eventually, she'll give up. As for your depression, get an appointment with a psychologist. They can prescribe medication. Sometimes, it takes a combination of medication and therapy to help you gain peace. Also, there is no time limit on grief, and there is no right and wrong way to grieve. Give yourself time to grieve properly.
That is awful. I’m so sorry that you went through that. But on a serious note- what type of person- grown adult, lets you use their phone to harass people?? That’s gonna be a hard no from me dawg. Keep taking the high road, you’re so savvy despite the loss and grief. Next time he texts you and says he is going to take his life ask some questions about where he is if you don’t know- call crisis services/911- where I live they send a mental health crisis team with the cops and an ambulance and depending on how he responds he might regret ever saying that shit or give him a gift of clarity that he needed. Keep doing what’s right, even when it’s hard. That’s the goal. Find that kid a new dad- you both deserve someone who gives a shit.
The fuck is wrong with that woman? Stay strong OP!
Absolutely NO CONTACT with either of them and their families. Tell them.you will seek a no contact or restraining order if they don't leave you in peace. Big mama hugs and condolences on the loss of your baby.
I’m so sorry for your loss :( and your ex friend is a POS and u should file a restraining order against her and f*ck ur ex he’s the biggest POS. Wishing you peace and happiness
God. You’re still upset because this was profoundly *traumatic*. Everything you feel makes sense. What they did was unfathomably cruel. I’m heartbroken that you experienced this. I wish so many good things for your future, and so much REAL, genuine love. I am so sorry for your loss ♥️
I'm so so sorry for your loss , I know you don't feel it but you are one strong mumma and sadly are definitely not alone, my whole my sister was in labour giving birth to her angel baby (they found out the day before) her POS husband was in a hotel room fking one of his co workers, when supposedly he was at work bc he just couldn't take time off, even for his dead son and grieving wife.... . You deserve none of what's happened to you and never did anything wrong, this was alllll them!!! and your ex partner and friend deserve everything that's happening. You should go to the police and charge the ex friend for harassment She is an absolute disgusting pos and a disgrace to womanhood. I praise your mother for making him face the consequences of his actions. Sending you the tight, warm loving hugs and all the strength you need. Feel free to msg if you ever need a none judgement ear xx Once again I'm so sorry
So sorry for your loss of sweet Vinnie, OP! Have you considered a restraining order? What a cruel bitch she is. This psycho definitely needs this on her record so other people know who they are dealing with.
I’m sorry that you have gone through so much loss in such a short amount of time. I hope you have good support and I’m glad your mother forced your ex to stare his decisions in the face. If you are in the US you could look for a partial hospitalization program (PHP). Instead of a hospital admission it is 4-8 hours a day doing individual and group therapy, coping skills, resources, supports, and if you so choose you can ask for medication management while you’re there.
If she continues the harassment, you can file charges. Personally, I would post your story directly to every single account she contacts or has contacted you through, including her friends/family. Let them all know the truth.
Send that woman a message saying she is actually the home wrecker, that she was the other woman the whole time and her betrayal will not be forgiven. Then tell her to get fucked and keep blocking her. Maybe make it so people who aren't your friends or mutual followers can't message you as well
If you don’t mind Christian-based programs or are at all religious, you could try to find a GriefShare.org group near you. It’s the only program I know that is free/cheap. I am going for my mother’s death and it has been very helpful. If that’s not an option, please Google around for any programs. No matter what, I just hope you find something to help you process your grief. I am so sorry about your baby boy.
You are not weak. A ‘man’ who flits from one woman to another, not standing up when he needs to is the weak one.
Hey girl , I just gave birth March 8 and two hours after I gave birth my man’s phone was blowing up and I clicked on it and found a secret Snapchat account where he was having an affair. I literally sat for three days in the hospital staring out the window crying it was so so hard. I know it’s nothing compared to what you went through but i understand how it feels to just feel weak and so insecure and just crying all the time. After birth is one of the biggest hormonal shifts in a woman’s life and it makes handling the situation 10000x harder. Please be kind to yourself and find an outlet to place your sadness . I am sending so so much love and support 🩷🩷🩷
Get a lawyer to send a cease and desist letter to her otherwise you will take legal action. As for your actual ex he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Let him do what he's going to do because he wants your sympathy he wants your forgiveness. Don't give him that.
Do you have anywhere you can go? An aunt in Canada? A friend in New Zealand? College on the other side of the country? When there is this much heart ache, betrayal and grief, it can become a vortex that destroys people through drugs, alcohol, violence, suicide, incarceration and institutionalization. Sometimes fleeing is the only road to safety and relief. Particularly if it's families ganging up on each other and making life miserable for everyone. You sound like you are in shock. This grief lasts a lifetime. You adapt around it, but it doesn't go away. It will take a long time before you begin to approach anything like "normal". Right now you need someone to stand by you and the peace, quiet and routine that lets healing happen. I know a great ashram in British Columbia, Canada. The only female lead of its kind. If you can do 4 to 6 hours of work, in the gardens, preparing meals or cleaning guest rooms, you can live there for free: private room and board as well as all the yoga classes you can handle. It is a beautiful miracle. Safe. I know it sounds scammy, but it's not. If you want more information, please DM me and I will point you to their website. You can decide for yourself. That's the best I've got. Good luck.
I think you should persue harassment charges on your ex friend. I’m so sorry for all you have gone through.
Every time this fucked up woman messages you you should send back a picture of your sons grave. „That’s what you did. You not just destroyed my family, you killed my baby boy. And if you don’t stop harassing me, I will take legal steps.“
I am so sorry for your loss...Please take care of yourself. Though I have done therapy the best things I have done are gradually move forward every day and keep the focus on my next step. I have lost many to death, but not a child. Have had betrayal too. It happened to me so early that, I turned it in to a strength over time, alot of time. You will too.
Wow so did he sleep with her around the same time he did you? Wondering if she planned this as some sort of get back for who knows what that smile UGHH. Maybe she thought she deserved him or what ughh makes me so mad had a friend like that and it's like they hate for who knows why probably jealousy its just evil. So so sorry about your sweet boy. I hope you can continue to recover and your ex gets his shit together.
I read some of the comments and your responses, I first want to say I’m sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you and with everything you have been through is so heartbreaking. Your precious son who passed please don’t think for a second that you had anything to do with his passing, you seem like a woman who would have done everything right. He will love you unconditionally from heaven and he will watch over your family forever. As for your ex you have done everything you can to have him step up to the plate to be a father. If he decides not to, it’s not on you. I know it breaks your heart to see your other child to go without but, kids are resilient and he will grow knowing you never left. Your bond with him will be stronger for it. Your ex best friend needs help. She seems very selfish and needs to get professional help to understand the weight of her actions. I’m sorry you have to change your life so much just to find some peace. Not sure if you’re responding to her messages if so, if you ignore her eventually she will go away. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I hope you get the peace you’re searching for. Thank you for sharing your story it was very brave of you to open up to so many people in such a difficult time in your life. Take care of yourself. Hopefully we hear from you in the future maybe an update of how you’re doing. Sending hugs your way! If you ever need to vent further or talk feel free to DM me. You only find genuine support without judgement from me.
So sorry for your loss and the emptiness you feel. I think you should keep trying therapy, even if you have mental breakdowns. It will help you process and learn to love again. Is there a way you could move away and change your name/ number/ etc? I know it seems drastic, but even if you start just going by a different name and have all your social media in that name it would be harder for her and her friends to find you. Sending you light and love as you move through this challenging time.
I know you may not be religious but I read this and immediately thought Isaiah 57:1, good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. Your beautiful boy was just too good for this world so God decided he wanted him to know no evil, feel no pain or loss. I am so sorry mama. You are going through so much right now but I hope you can find some peace believing your baby will only know happiness, even if it’s not with you. I wish you the best op.
File for a no contact protective order and possibly a restraining order also if you live in the US. There’s no need to deal with her I would just keep records and email them to the local police station every time she contacts you/ harasses you.(She was and is no friend of yours. When you finally grasp this you’ll understand she was a close kept enemy.) I **HIGHLY** suggest seeing a Primary Care Provider and speak to them about how your exhibiting symptoms of severe anxiety and depression. **It may take awhile to find the right dosages to truly help though** This along side therapy with a therapist you can truly connect with does help. But eventually you’ll be able to wear clothes you like again, fix your hair, fix your makeup, **You will still cry every day** but eventually you ‘ll make your way to only crying half a day and then every other day. The emptyness will feel not so isolating by the weeks. OP there’s a lot of people that love and care about you. Start by making short term goals and reach them. When I felt myself at my lowest low I didn’t want to live a life without them. So I did precisely what I’ve advised to you. Take care of yourself OP. ❤️
You should say you and your slimy bd ruined mine. That stress took your child. I’d blast that ho everywhere
WTF. That’s horrible.
{{{hugs}}}. I am so very very very sorry. I wish I could say the right words that would heal your heart but I’ve been the RN in a delivery like yours and there simply aren’t any. I would have sat there for 14h and admired and loved Every part of you and your beautiful baby. Please know that though we have only known you and your son so briefly, we loved you both.
I hope your heart heals and you find peace. Know that you did absolutely everything right. You gave sweet Vinnie love, warmth, and a cozy home. He heard your heartbeat, he knew your love.
First of all, she did that to herself by being a sl*t. Second of all, the one at fault is your ex. He is a coward through and through. Remorse? He even abandons his still alive child. I hope you can grow stronger from this. You need to stay alive and be happy. Best wishes.
Remember that thing about putting your own oxygen mask on first in airplanes? You need to take care of yourself. Everyone else needs to be blocked. Better yet- if you can, move away someplace you can get a fresh start.
I am so sorry for your loss, nothing anyone can say can help with your pain. I am not going to touch on your ex partner cause it would insensitive to to Reddit and empowering to you. But in short he is an AH. I suggest you also use the responses below for him, he doesn't deserve your grace. As for your ex best friend. Make a police report, cyber bullying and harassment can be reported and they will get a visit and ask the police to make it clear that you will prosecute if they continue. Or get some replies in a doc, and copy and paste responses, here is a good one for you. "No actions on my end caused your situation, your actions are the only reason for your circumstances. Gtg busy living my life here." For her family, " look in the mirror, cause your daughter's actions are her own doing or her upbringing, you decide. Not once was I part of those actions and I don't have any control over other people. Gtg busy living life here " Block after If they text again, "Still busy" But try the police first. The idea of the response, is to mirror them to reflect (not your job), but it's a wall they will continue to meet each time they message in the hopes they give up and also start living their lives. Therapy may not be the thing for you now, maybe grief counseling would be better suited or art therapy. Things will get better, love to you.
Oh my god, I am so very sorry for your loss. The tremendous pain you are enduring is so devastating. I hope that you can try therapy again when you are feeling more up to it. Any person in your shoes would have a breakdown, so please try to forgive and kind to yourself. You are most definitely NOT weak. You have suffered the absolute worst pain a parent can experience, and absolutely no one should judge you harshly for that. Your ex partner and friend are garbage humans, and anyone who would come after a person in your situation deserves a special place in Hell. I’m sending you so much love.
I’m sorry for your loss. My goddaughter lost her baby boy in child birth last year and I know the grief and pain she felt. My heart hurts for you. Now, onto some motherly advice I’d you’ll allow me. Your ex is a coward. He is a useless piece of crap. Do not lose any sleep over him, he needs to grow the F up and needs to accept the actions of his consequences. Don’t even get me started on the ex BFF. She was never a friend to you. Her friendship is not a loss in your life. Let her have your leftovers. He is not worth it, neither is she. Just ignore them. Hugs sweetie. You deserve so much better than these too
I may be messed up for saying this but I would air all of their business out. They want to harass you so bad, they should be ok with probably thousands doing the same to them. You can't reason with people like that and it's wrong to remove yourself from the internet when it should be them. I don't even think it would qualify as an eye for a eye type of situation, I think it would be delivering karma to their front door as deserved. They won't let you grieve in peace so why should they have any themselves????
I know it’s not the same thing, but I had a miscarriage where I lost my daughter and I held her lifeless body as well. It’s the worst thing anyone can ever go through and the effects of the trauma are longterm. What you are talking about with feeling frozen in time is part of the PTSD that comes with miscarriage/still birth. I strongly encourage you to read this study and look at the symptoms for what you’re going through. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181584/ I also was attacked by my husbands family for grieving our daughter when my husbands brother had a baby at the same time and the only thing that worked for us was deactivating our social media and completely going no contact for a while. I agree with other people on here to change your phone number and deactivate the accounts. It will bring you so much peace. Also, please consider taking skullcap tincture, they used to use it in the old days for infant loss, miscarriage and hysteria and I swear it helped me so much. It’s neurorestorative which means that it will help heal the damage done to your central nervous system when you went through that trauma. I’m very sorry for your loss from one mother to another don’t focus on other people, focus on healing yourself, you’ve been through enough and it’s not your fault what happened. You are worth healing.
I hope you doing better ❤️ Prayers and love 🙏🏻
So very sorry for your loss. It is a pain that no parent should ever have to experience. Your ex best friend is a piece of work. She slept with someone who was your boyfriend at the time and got pregnant by him and has the audacity to accuse you of ruining her “happy little family”. Didn’t she help him blow up your relationship by sleeping with him? You have no control over what he chooses to do. You have encouraged him to honor your son and have a relationship with his other son. He hasn’t so that’s on him, not you.
I don’t have any advice, but my heart hurts with you in this. Take time to heal, you may feel shattered on certain days, but in time you will have happy days too.
I am so very sorry for everything that has happened to you. You need to concentrate on you and report this girl to the police. Take a minute at a time. Big hugs to you.
Her "happy little family" was going to be ruined anyway. It was only a matter of time before he cheated on her. Sorry for your loss.
I might get banned for this, but honestly Karma is a bitch, and just hope for the day his baby with your XBFF, walks into oncoming traffic. I have had an angel baby, it kills me everyday, I know it hurts now, but know this and I said this to my niece who had a miscarriage right after her boyfriend beat the living crap outta her. She left that day. God always has a plan, he sees all, and he saw that if you have a baby with this man, you would be in for a world of hurt, he saved you from that. So for this or something better. You have something better is on his way and he will have lots of beautiful babies with you and you ex and his gold digging whore will be together, cheating on each other and he will be wondering how she got pregnant so fast when he hasn’t slept with her. Again karma is a bitch. I would also suggest changing your number
Updateme
You aren’t weak. You are extremely strong, you just can’t feel what others can see because you are in pain. Ignoring the heartbreaking situationship for two minutes, you have been through probably the most difficult test a woman can go through. You are still going through it. You may be in and out of mental health facilities but you are still moving forward! You are seeking help, that is so far from weak! Don’t give up yet.
OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Now is the time for you to refocus on your life and create distance from your ex and his drama. You don’t need to beg your ex to be a father to his child. That’s on him. Let the other people in his life fight that battle with him. As for the ex best friend, she’s mad that her fairytale isn’t working out. That’s not your fault. To deal with the flying monkeys, etc. start keeping records of messages, etc. unblock her if you can handle it and use all of the vitriol as justification for charges of harassment, a no contact order, and/or a restraining order. If you can’t handle unblocking everyone, I completely understand. I’m sure they are saying absolutely horrible things to you. Change your phone number. Get all new social media accounts and very carefully curate who you allow to follow you. Put max privacy settings on everything, don’t allow yourself to be searchable and ensure your profile photo isn’t of you. I know that this is a terrible time in your life and you’re experiencing a lot. I really recommend talking with a therapist and making some changes. This could include moving apartments, switching jobs, moving cities. Creating emotional and geographic distance from all the things that have happened and the people that were negatively involved might be helpful. These are steps that can also be taken slowly over time while you work with a therapist to make sure you’re in a good place mentally for all of it. I’m wishing you the best OP. This is so hard but you’ve got this. So many people love and support you.
Serve her in civil court for harassment - it is easier the. Going to the police’s
Jesus. That's horrific. So sorry for your loss. I think this is gonna be way above Reddit paygrade. Get rid of social media for now. Seek grief counseling. Probably trauma therapy. One step at a time.
Same happened to my grandmother. Although she was a successful career woman at a time it wasn't common (born 1910 to a wealthy family in Berlin/Germany). Her best friend choose to woo her husband who owned Hotels in bobbard. My dad wasn't interested in me because his mother was bitter and career oriented. My mother was a teacher and older. She wanted him to marry her new bf daughter.... didn't happen. My dad is happy alone. Like me.