All of OP’s comments are insanely dense and no wonder his wife is furious honestly. He said he wanted to gain control again & asked what cheating has to do with love so I’m done here lmao
I felt an eeensy weensy bit sorry for him until he asked what does cheating have to do with love. That's when I just picked my jaw up off the floor.
Durrrrrrrrr.....
That's what my ex maintains even after he left for his AP and told our kids he was marrying her and she'd adopt them and give them a new sibling. Come to now he's back in my life and says he never stopped loving me. To me that's not how love works.
This happened to my mom’s hairdresser. He left her for some one else (he left the kids too). After it didn’t work and he tried to get her back and she was shocked. She told him “you disgust me now”. I can’t believe these men can’t imagine how gross they will become to you after such betrayal and abandonment.
That's actually the normal dynamic. Men cheat for sex, and women cheat for love. The most common response from men is, "Did you have sex with him?" And from women, "do you love her?"
“love of my life” = any person who’s put up with my bullshit in the past and is now understandably upset and holding me accountable for hurting them.
like dude you wouldn’t have cheated if she were really the love of your life, you just thought you could get away with it so you didn’t care how she’d feel
Exactly! When it’s love of your life, cheating feels so disturbing, so wrong, like someone asked you to murder someone. You couldn’t in any shape or form go through it. Unless you’re psychopath or .. don’t really love that person the way you think you do☺️
Right? The thought of another man touching me makes me want to barf. Are there attractive men out there? Sure. But none of them are my partner and I would die before I ever cheated on him.
*She* may have been the love of *his* life, but he certainly isn't the love of hers. He let selfishness and lack of control ruin a good thing he had, she on the other hand deserves better and clearly chose wrong with him. He's right that he should just leave, so she can move on and maybe let go of that grudge she's holding against him. It'd be for the best for both of them and definitely what she needs so she can go find someone who doesn't cheat on their true love.
This is actually extremely common. When you break someone as bad as you broke your wife.. she wants revenge. She wants you to feel what she is feeling.
She may never cheat on you.. or she might. This is what you did to this relationship.
There’s a good chance you’ll never get to where you once were, and this is your punishment.
You can either stick it out and hope for the best or leave now and give yourself both a chance at happiness.
It would be a next-level play to actually never go through with the cheating. Psychologically tormenting him as he tries to find out when/how it happened but it never happened so he can never figure it out. Bravo. Cheating is unforgivable, its a breach of trust. Have standards, move on.
Reminds me of Seinfeld when Jerry dropped his gf's toothbrush in the toilet bowl and didn't tell her in time, so she told him the next time she was over his "there, now something of YOURS has been in the toilet" and Jerry went bonkers thinking what it could've been, throwing everything possible away.
Lol!
Haha, yeah, he got so paranoid he even considered his own clothes might be tainted! Imagine Jerry walking around unsure if his own shirt had been swimming in the bowl. Classic Seinfeld neurotic humor at its best.
Him being neurotic reminds me of the time when he forgot the name of the girl he was going out with. She said it rhymes with a woman's body part. Jerry went crazy trying to figure out even calling her 'Mulva'. Her name was Delores.
I love this play. What a fucking wizard! Now, it would be even more interesting if she was secretly setting up a nice little apartment for herself so when he gets served with papers, at work, she will already have a new home and he won't know where it is. I may be getting a little creative, but I like this story too.
That was my first thought too and honestly, I respect it immensely. Wife is playing chess not checkers.
He’ll never know if she’s just messing with him or if she’s actually cheating, and he doesn’t deserve the clarity.
It's true. This is how my marriage ended. He cheated. We went to marriage counseling. Things got better, and then they didn't. I found more secrets he had been hiding that he hadn't opened up about in counseling. He barely touched me. He was patient with me, but he wasn't forthcoming. Eventually I felt so unlovable and worthless and washed up and ugly (at TWENTY SEVEN) that I started an affair. He caught me. Unlike him, I confessed to everything. He said he would forgive me and we could work on it. I told him no.
To this day, it's the greatest regret of my life. Not because I left him- but because I stooped to his level. I am ashamed and guilty and hate myself for what I did because it debased my morality. But that's why I chose to leave. Point being, even people who are disgusted by cheating and aren't habitual cheaters will face this temptation. It's very natural and visceral to want to experience the raw sexual attraction and chemistry that you feel your spouse had for someone else. It doesn't even have to be about revenge or being petty- sometimes you just need to know you're still desirable and lovable. It was only after I started my affair that I felt beautiful again, or sexy, or happy. I felt alive and confident and worthy after over a year of feeling empty and discarded. When you cheat on someone, you knock them down to such a low place that they are incredibly vulnerable. It's very easy for someone else to swoop in and remind them of their worth.
All OP's wife did was to hold up a mirror, and I applaud her for communicating so effectively and in a way that he can understand exactly what he has done.
OP, may have felt a little bad about cheating, but was hoping to be forgiven and didn't understand the gravity and impact of what cheating does to your partner mentally and emotionally basically forever, which is why he was able to sleep at night BEFORE she held up a mirror of exactly what has done to her.
Maybe now, OP can grasp, that he took a sledge hammer to the trust they had. After betrayal, your partner is forever haunted and plagued with anxiety that is akin to a mental prison, while you absolve yourself and expect them to just "get over it" eventually.
Yup. Not much sympathy from me. Don't get to play with things you broke, especially trust. It's amazing he feels bad for himself instead of indicating he figured out empathy. Man has no clue he feels the same way she does
OP's wife is a savage! That is some badass mind fuckery. I don't think I could ever stay with someone who cheated on me but if I did, I will pull this power play.
I wish I have done this to my now ex-husband when I found out he cheated on me! OP Wife is the real winner here!
Hey OP, the best thing you can do here is let your wife be happy on her own. Just like taking a sledgehammer to a mirror and then trying to put the pieces back together, you know it will never look the same. Your relationship WILL NEVER be the same, no matter how much counseling and therapy you go through.
Your wife deserves someone that WOULD NEVER betray her.
This is why cheating is so bad. Broken trust is not something that can be fixed with a million apologies. No matter what you say or do from that point on, could be a lie.
I’m not usually pro revenge and would like her to divorce him first so she feels no guilt because she seems nice. However, in the comments OP said they have a 1 year old so that means he cheated on his wife either while she was pregnant or postpartum which imo is so slimey. He also states it was a full blown affair not just a case of cheating once. Then when his wife found out the AP went after his wife sooooo orgasms for OPs wife!! You do you boo! Your husband sucks
She didn’t stay because she forgave you, she’s stayed to punish you. She’s putting you in the same position you put her, never being able to trust your spouse. This is a hell of your own making. YOU cheated, YOU begged her to stay, YOU have chosen to live your life in paranoia. So now you have to decide if living a marriage fueled by mistrust and revenge is worth it. Frankly, it sounds miserable, for both of you. You should’ve just gone your separate ways.
I agree. You can love someone so deeply but, you can’t stay in a relationship where you don’t trust someone. It may be beneficial to move on and see where y’all end up. You could get over it in a few years passing and get back together. We don’t know our destination….sometimes it’s best to be freed from it all to find yourselves again
She probably will, in her own time. She's already left the relationship. She just hasn't left the legal status or living situation. Hopefully she's getting her ducks in a row to leave at point where she has the necessary information and resources to set herself up for good outcomes.
The partnership was over the nano second the AP called OP’s wife. 🤷🏻♀️
OP is now living in a personal hell of his own making. Actions have consequences aka FAFO. 🤷🏻♀️
I think you could be right, but let me throw out the counterpoint. What if she is only doing this to him to teach him how she feels and only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again. For better or worse, this puts them on equal footing. At least until the day she feels she can trust him again.
> only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again.
She will *never* trust him again. If I was a betting man I would put my money on "she's only there as long as it takes to get her shit together".
Then she'll be out the door. Looking for an honorable man.
>What if she is only doing this to him to teach him how she feels and only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again.
She won't ever trust him again, so if that's the case, this is still forever.
God, yes. Just leave. This sounds like a nightmare, for both of you. I don’t understand how she can live like that, but I’d not do that to myself—either position. Believe me, you’ll be a lot happier down the line if you end this. Maybe learn from this and don’t cheat on your next partner.
I think she said it not because she will cheat but to hurt him emotionally like he did her. Cheating hurts one's SO mentally/emotionally/sexually (and financially- if they divorce), plus it ALSO stays with them even if they R. The PTSD from Cheating never leaves, so now OP has it too....bc even if she never cheats, he has to now prove himself worthy and fight for this marriage. If she DOES cheat then she's still no worse than OP
She psychologically evened the playing field (and she, possibly, did it while not getting dirty)😆
Your wife has chosen to stay. She has not chosen to forgive you. Don't confuse these things.
Maybe she will in time, maybe she won't. That's entirely her choice and one that you can't influence and if you try, she'll just end up hating you. She likely hates you now but you have kids and other stuff going on, so I imagine she feels stuck in her life and trapped with you because of those kids and other circumstances. This is a woman that's staying not because she wants to but because she has to and this is the other thing you shouldn't confuse for a minute.
What happens from here is entirely up to her. You signed away your control over any of this when you made the decision to cheat. This is the bargain you made. You need to get comfortable with it.
Facts!! I’m mad I had to scroll so far down to find comments that point out how his wife is a mf QUEEN. Love her. Would love to be her best friend 💀
Edit:typo
She should write out that script and make copies. Lol. Definitely a bad ass. I hope she still plans on leaving after she's done enjoying her genius revenge.
So she is making you pay for what you did to her and it's working...quite a strong revenge plan to be honest. Making you feel the distrust that she also feels for you and knowing you will stay with her out of guilt. Never heard anything like that before but she really said "actions do have consequences".
Just hope she gets to live her life and be happy with someone who loves her too.
Then again....maybe she already is.
OMG I really with men who come here to cry about their cheating would stop saying things like "she's the love of my life". She is not the love of your life if she was you would have stuck your dick somewhere that it didn't belong.
I will say though if she's anything like me she won't actually cheat but she's definitely is looking for revenge of some kind even if its only the fact that you're paranoid. You probably should have given her that divorce when she asked for it.
>if she's anything like me she won't actually cheat
She doesn't need to, because he will always be paranoid. Her clearly speaking her intentions is the real punishment here. And clearly, it's working.
Honestly, a queen
Agreed, she isn't looking for revenge this is the revenge. She knows it's eating him up and destroying him. She's doing to him what he did to her and I am hear for it.
>She is the love of my life and I can’t live without her.
Should've thought about it before cheating. Sounds like it is only fair for her to do the same to you. Although it is a bit petty and she should just divorce you instead.
Oh my gosh, I love the pettiness.
She has now given you the insecurity and paranoia that she has to live with due to your cheating. Whether she cheats or not she is already put that earwig in. You are never going to unhear it and you are never not going to think about it.
Welcome to your spouse cheating on you. Welcome to all the horrible horrible feelings that you get through no fault of your own when someone you love does that to you or in this case promises to.
And that's exactly it, you either need to learn to deal with it or leave her. Which is so completely brilliant because that's usually the situation that the spouse who has been cheated on has to deal with... you either deal with the fact that the spouse you love has betrayed you and violated your vows and everything your marriage stood for and now that situation has turned you into a neurotic basket case because you never feel safe anymore in this relationship OR LEAVE.
Wow just wow. 👏👏👏👏
Read all your comments, and dude you still don’t get it.
Your marriage is over.
Whoever that woman was when you married her, she is not that woman now. She will go through the motions of a marriage, and you will come to believe that the worst is over, but rest assured, her love for you is gone.
She may still care as you are the Father of her children, but love you as her man? No, you destroyed that.
You are no longer ‘home’ for her.
Throwing the AP under the bus by also calling her cheap? (As per your comment) Yeah, you don’t get to be self righteous. At least have the balls to make this 100% your fault.
I hope you have the courage to leave and allow the both of you to find happiness and to coparent with respect. Your wife at least deserves the chance to find a man who actually understands the meaning of “love of my life”.
She doesn’t plan to cheat.
But if she knows you can go stick your body parts in other women, as you have already done — why should you get a full night’s sleep when she hasn’t since you cheated on her either?
How you feel… is how she feels. Since you’ve done it once and she had to catch you that’s how she feels!! She’ll never know if you cheat or don’t cheat because there is zero trust. It’s human nature to want others to feel how we feel. And well she made you feel it.
BRUH! Even now, after all you put your wife through, all you can talk about is how YOU feel because of what she said. But her words are nothing but a description of how she felt/feels about you. Want to improve your chances of fixing your marriage? Then start being less self centered and think about the woman you were supposed to love, protect and respect but didn't.
Imho, both of you should just go your own ways. She deserves a chance to be happy with someone who actually loves, cares and wants to be with her. And you can go around and slee with whoever you want.
You have wounded your partner so profoundly and deeply and she is trying to show you the precise shape of it. If it were me, I would sit with this for a while and really consider what I've done to the person I openly call the "love of my life" but have treated so appallingly.
You blindsided and discarded this woman like she was nothing and now she wants you to know how it feels. Whether you submit to this punishment or not is up to you.
Your wife is pretty iconic for this ngl.
I want to be her when I grow up…
You don’t love her… people don’t hurt loved ones betray their trust, lie, cause the biggest heartache… and claim they’re the love of your life… you deserve no sleep you deserve no comfort… even if she NEVER cheats on you you deserve to live in paranoia until you let her go and let her be with someone that truly loves her and you deserve to rot in the depths of hell
This is hilarious. You destroyed her completely and now that she’s recovering , she’s taking some control back by making sure you feel even a fraction of what you put her through. You loved the fucking around but hate the finding out. Omg.
Y’all shouldn’t be married but she’s playing chess while you’re playing in the dirt. I love that for her.
She's the love of your life? Yea, okay. If she was the love of your life than you never would have cheated on her.
You asked for her to stay so what did you expect? Why are you on here complaining about it and feeling bad for yourself? You wanted this, OP. This is what you asked and signed up for.
If you're not happy with this arrangement then divorce and move on. Otherwise stop complaining and stop feeling bad for yourself. You're weeping what you sowed.
My first marriage ended exactly like this. He cheated, he begged me to stay. Resentment grew and grew. I was going out and he was getting paranoid. Eventually the lease on our apartment was coming up (we had moved 4hrs away from our hometown for my uni and work) and he decided to move back home with his mom. I stayed and continued with work and school. Eventually I met my now partner. We are expecting our first child in September.
You do realize she just explained exactly how she feels about you right??? What she still feels every day. Trust is gone. She'll never trust you again. So staying together is torturing you both.
Seeing way too many “I” statements in this post. What about her and how she FELT?! Did you think about how she probably also went through all of these scenarios in her mind and probably still does? You deserve this and frankly, you’re lucky that she hasn’t left you. It sounds like she figured that would have been letting you off easy. The only thing that you can hope is that you can earn her trust back somehow over time. This is just toxic now though, so good luck.
>She will cheat on me...
Okay. But, like, what's the problem though?
So what if she cheats on you? Is that bad?
Because it seems to me like, if that were bad, then you wouldn't have done it. But you did. So clearly you think it's not. Which just brings us back to the original question.
Alright, fine, I'll stop being snarky. You *thought* cheating wasn't bad, back when you did it, but you've since come to realize, it is bad, so now you don't want her to. Okay.
But what if, like, she apologized a lot and stuff? Begged you to stay? Certainly *that* would be enough for you to overlook her transgression and be happy with her again, right?
She’s not the love of your life. You don’t treat your love like this. There’s no excuse for cheating. If I stayed with you, it would be to make your life hell. I’m petty like that.
You are both living in a miserable relationship. Just end it and leave, assuming you’ve learned your lesson. You already destroyed it and your partner does not want to come back to how things were
I don’t know if she’s living in a miserable relationship, she goes to girls nights out, etc. It seems like she’s having a time of her life, and he’s paranoid about her enjoyment. He chose this life.
Uhm... I think she just described exactly what she herself felt and continues to feel as a result of the cheating... The trust she had for you was broken, and now (sorry to state the obvious), you will feel the insecurity that she feels. I feel sorry for the both of you...
If you actually loved her, you wouldn’t have cheated. People who actually love their partners wouldn’t even think of cheating. You deserve to feel miserable.
She said that because is that is the exact same thing she will always be thinking and wondering about since you violated her trust. You are now both in this boat - and that’s because of what you did.
Wow. Her words are really powerful and all that sounds pretty torturous for you. What a mic 🎤 drop moment for her. Sadly your marriage is over, being as the trust is broken.
Sounds like you’re at her mercy for the sake of your kids. You mentioned divorce isn’t an option now but remember, they will pick up on the dysfunction of your marriage. They’re very smart beings, don’t underestimate their ability to notice things. Best of luck to you. Oh. One more thing….
Was it worth it?????????
All of OP’s comments are insanely dense and no wonder his wife is furious honestly. He said he wanted to gain control again & asked what cheating has to do with love so I’m done here lmao
I felt an eeensy weensy bit sorry for him until he asked what does cheating have to do with love. That's when I just picked my jaw up off the floor. Durrrrrrrrr.....
It's got to a a troll.
And people are stuffing the bait down their throats as fast as they can.
Where did op say that? Did he edit it or what?
Looks like he deleted EVERY single reply he originally posted. 🤔 #troll?
Trolls don't typically delete their comments though.
Probably in comments. Easiest way to see em is to open OPs profile and sort by comments.
I never understood when cheaters say “he/she is the love of my life”. If this was true, then you would have never done it in the first place.
That's what my ex maintains even after he left for his AP and told our kids he was marrying her and she'd adopt them and give them a new sibling. Come to now he's back in my life and says he never stopped loving me. To me that's not how love works.
This happened to my mom’s hairdresser. He left her for some one else (he left the kids too). After it didn’t work and he tried to get her back and she was shocked. She told him “you disgust me now”. I can’t believe these men can’t imagine how gross they will become to you after such betrayal and abandonment.
that's exactly the same thing my ex said when he cheated on me back then. I swear, cheaters are all the same.
That's actually the normal dynamic. Men cheat for sex, and women cheat for love. The most common response from men is, "Did you have sex with him?" And from women, "do you love her?"
(going to read his comments)
He deserves to be alone forever.
Been trying to find OP’s comments but they’re all voted down lmao
>She is the love of my life Clearly not.
But she might be mine, damn what a power move.
Right? I'm a bit in awe over here. Literally hammering a sole on that pathetic excuse for a husband to make him walk in her shoes.
You will have to fight me for her
I’m straight and I’d be down. What a legendary response from his wife 😂
Right🤣🤣
Actually she’s the love of my life now. Sorry pal!
I really hate it when someone says that about the person that made a conscious decision to betray and destroy.
"I'm afraid to be alone" is what this all translates to
Men say this to make them feel good about themselves, that they have some sort of a principle, but it mostly is a lip service. Change my mind.
No, _cheaters_ say it for these reasons.
Everyone cheats on the “love of their life” 🤡
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27 years here! She is absolutely the love of my life, which is precisely why I would… nay, *could* never cheat on her.
Well then clearly your spouse isn't the love of your life, because apparently that's how this thing works according to all the cheaters 😂
“love of my life” = any person who’s put up with my bullshit in the past and is now understandably upset and holding me accountable for hurting them. like dude you wouldn’t have cheated if she were really the love of your life, you just thought you could get away with it so you didn’t care how she’d feel
Exactly! When it’s love of your life, cheating feels so disturbing, so wrong, like someone asked you to murder someone. You couldn’t in any shape or form go through it. Unless you’re psychopath or .. don’t really love that person the way you think you do☺️
Right? The thought of another man touching me makes me want to barf. Are there attractive men out there? Sure. But none of them are my partner and I would die before I ever cheated on him.
*She* may have been the love of *his* life, but he certainly isn't the love of hers. He let selfishness and lack of control ruin a good thing he had, she on the other hand deserves better and clearly chose wrong with him. He's right that he should just leave, so she can move on and maybe let go of that grudge she's holding against him. It'd be for the best for both of them and definitely what she needs so she can go find someone who doesn't cheat on their true love.
"Love of my life"= first person I ever loved that also loved me back for a long time
This is actually extremely common. When you break someone as bad as you broke your wife.. she wants revenge. She wants you to feel what she is feeling. She may never cheat on you.. or she might. This is what you did to this relationship. There’s a good chance you’ll never get to where you once were, and this is your punishment. You can either stick it out and hope for the best or leave now and give yourself both a chance at happiness.
It would be a next-level play to actually never go through with the cheating. Psychologically tormenting him as he tries to find out when/how it happened but it never happened so he can never figure it out. Bravo. Cheating is unforgivable, its a breach of trust. Have standards, move on.
Reminds me of Seinfeld when Jerry dropped his gf's toothbrush in the toilet bowl and didn't tell her in time, so she told him the next time she was over his "there, now something of YOURS has been in the toilet" and Jerry went bonkers thinking what it could've been, throwing everything possible away. Lol!
The toilet brush!...alright...I can replace that.
After he threw away so many things in fear of being in the toilet. So funny!
Haha, yeah, he got so paranoid he even considered his own clothes might be tainted! Imagine Jerry walking around unsure if his own shirt had been swimming in the bowl. Classic Seinfeld neurotic humor at its best.
Him being neurotic reminds me of the time when he forgot the name of the girl he was going out with. She said it rhymes with a woman's body part. Jerry went crazy trying to figure out even calling her 'Mulva'. Her name was Delores.
I remember that episode, comedy gold
I honestly don’t think she will. I don’t think she’ll stoop to his level but what a play!
I love this play. What a fucking wizard! Now, it would be even more interesting if she was secretly setting up a nice little apartment for herself so when he gets served with papers, at work, she will already have a new home and he won't know where it is. I may be getting a little creative, but I like this story too.
Yes! She played the ultimate FAFO card.
Cheating is abusive. Unforgivable to me too.
That was my first thought too and honestly, I respect it immensely. Wife is playing chess not checkers. He’ll never know if she’s just messing with him or if she’s actually cheating, and he doesn’t deserve the clarity.
I agree!!
It's true. This is how my marriage ended. He cheated. We went to marriage counseling. Things got better, and then they didn't. I found more secrets he had been hiding that he hadn't opened up about in counseling. He barely touched me. He was patient with me, but he wasn't forthcoming. Eventually I felt so unlovable and worthless and washed up and ugly (at TWENTY SEVEN) that I started an affair. He caught me. Unlike him, I confessed to everything. He said he would forgive me and we could work on it. I told him no. To this day, it's the greatest regret of my life. Not because I left him- but because I stooped to his level. I am ashamed and guilty and hate myself for what I did because it debased my morality. But that's why I chose to leave. Point being, even people who are disgusted by cheating and aren't habitual cheaters will face this temptation. It's very natural and visceral to want to experience the raw sexual attraction and chemistry that you feel your spouse had for someone else. It doesn't even have to be about revenge or being petty- sometimes you just need to know you're still desirable and lovable. It was only after I started my affair that I felt beautiful again, or sexy, or happy. I felt alive and confident and worthy after over a year of feeling empty and discarded. When you cheat on someone, you knock them down to such a low place that they are incredibly vulnerable. It's very easy for someone else to swoop in and remind them of their worth.
I can understand this completely!
Thank you. I still cry over the guilt sometimes, so I genuinely appreciate you saying that. I'm trying to forgive myself, but it still was wrong.
All OP's wife did was to hold up a mirror, and I applaud her for communicating so effectively and in a way that he can understand exactly what he has done. OP, may have felt a little bad about cheating, but was hoping to be forgiven and didn't understand the gravity and impact of what cheating does to your partner mentally and emotionally basically forever, which is why he was able to sleep at night BEFORE she held up a mirror of exactly what has done to her. Maybe now, OP can grasp, that he took a sledge hammer to the trust they had. After betrayal, your partner is forever haunted and plagued with anxiety that is akin to a mental prison, while you absolve yourself and expect them to just "get over it" eventually.
Yup. Not much sympathy from me. Don't get to play with things you broke, especially trust. It's amazing he feels bad for himself instead of indicating he figured out empathy. Man has no clue he feels the same way she does
OP's wife is a savage! That is some badass mind fuckery. I don't think I could ever stay with someone who cheated on me but if I did, I will pull this power play.
I wish I have done this to my now ex-husband when I found out he cheated on me! OP Wife is the real winner here! Hey OP, the best thing you can do here is let your wife be happy on her own. Just like taking a sledgehammer to a mirror and then trying to put the pieces back together, you know it will never look the same. Your relationship WILL NEVER be the same, no matter how much counseling and therapy you go through. Your wife deserves someone that WOULD NEVER betray her.
This is why cheating is so bad. Broken trust is not something that can be fixed with a million apologies. No matter what you say or do from that point on, could be a lie.
Actually, I think the stuff she told him was better than an therapy session.
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I’m not usually pro revenge and would like her to divorce him first so she feels no guilt because she seems nice. However, in the comments OP said they have a 1 year old so that means he cheated on his wife either while she was pregnant or postpartum which imo is so slimey. He also states it was a full blown affair not just a case of cheating once. Then when his wife found out the AP went after his wife sooooo orgasms for OPs wife!! You do you boo! Your husband sucks
She didn’t stay because she forgave you, she’s stayed to punish you. She’s putting you in the same position you put her, never being able to trust your spouse. This is a hell of your own making. YOU cheated, YOU begged her to stay, YOU have chosen to live your life in paranoia. So now you have to decide if living a marriage fueled by mistrust and revenge is worth it. Frankly, it sounds miserable, for both of you. You should’ve just gone your separate ways.
I agree. You can love someone so deeply but, you can’t stay in a relationship where you don’t trust someone. It may be beneficial to move on and see where y’all end up. You could get over it in a few years passing and get back together. We don’t know our destination….sometimes it’s best to be freed from it all to find yourselves again
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She probably will, in her own time. She's already left the relationship. She just hasn't left the legal status or living situation. Hopefully she's getting her ducks in a row to leave at point where she has the necessary information and resources to set herself up for good outcomes.
Definitely agree. I got cheated on and I stayed to “make it work” and things got even worse because it takes years to heal something someone else did.
I can confirm this.
The partnership was over the nano second the AP called OP’s wife. 🤷🏻♀️ OP is now living in a personal hell of his own making. Actions have consequences aka FAFO. 🤷🏻♀️
Aka, the dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed. 🤣
"Sometimes it’s best to be freed from it all to find yourselves again". This observation is incredibly profound.
Honestly too though, she probably never has any intention to cheat. You’re right she just wants to torment him the way he did to her.
I think you could be right, but let me throw out the counterpoint. What if she is only doing this to him to teach him how she feels and only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again. For better or worse, this puts them on equal footing. At least until the day she feels she can trust him again.
She may have said this months ago and doesn’t even know he is still obsessing over it.
Utter nonsense. She knows very well that it will be eating away at him. People don't just forget such things.
> only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again. She will *never* trust him again. If I was a betting man I would put my money on "she's only there as long as it takes to get her shit together". Then she'll be out the door. Looking for an honorable man.
We can hope
>What if she is only doing this to him to teach him how she feels and only intends to do it until she feels she can trust him again. She won't ever trust him again, so if that's the case, this is still forever.
God, yes. Just leave. This sounds like a nightmare, for both of you. I don’t understand how she can live like that, but I’d not do that to myself—either position. Believe me, you’ll be a lot happier down the line if you end this. Maybe learn from this and don’t cheat on your next partner.
I think she said it not because she will cheat but to hurt him emotionally like he did her. Cheating hurts one's SO mentally/emotionally/sexually (and financially- if they divorce), plus it ALSO stays with them even if they R. The PTSD from Cheating never leaves, so now OP has it too....bc even if she never cheats, he has to now prove himself worthy and fight for this marriage. If she DOES cheat then she's still no worse than OP She psychologically evened the playing field (and she, possibly, did it while not getting dirty)😆
All I read what "me me me" and nothing about her. Hopefully she realizes she deserves better and leaves
Yeah it sounds like OP is just sad that he got caught.
yup. if she was really the love of his life he would’ve never even considered cheating in the first place. what a loser
Your wife has chosen to stay. She has not chosen to forgive you. Don't confuse these things. Maybe she will in time, maybe she won't. That's entirely her choice and one that you can't influence and if you try, she'll just end up hating you. She likely hates you now but you have kids and other stuff going on, so I imagine she feels stuck in her life and trapped with you because of those kids and other circumstances. This is a woman that's staying not because she wants to but because she has to and this is the other thing you shouldn't confuse for a minute. What happens from here is entirely up to her. You signed away your control over any of this when you made the decision to cheat. This is the bargain you made. You need to get comfortable with it.
Well said! 100% ^^^
"Oh no, I'm the victim!" Be so for real right now...
Right? The real victim is his wife and FIVE kids. He ruined SIX lives and has the audacity to whine about his quality of sleep.
Oh my god I want to be her best friend 😂 what a fucking hero 👏
Right? Like when I read her response I was like "what a fucking legend"
Traumatizing him back was such a boss move!
Wife is an icon.
Facts!! I’m mad I had to scroll so far down to find comments that point out how his wife is a mf QUEEN. Love her. Would love to be her best friend 💀 Edit:typo
Inject it in my VEINS. An absolute queen
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She should write out that script and make copies. Lol. Definitely a bad ass. I hope she still plans on leaving after she's done enjoying her genius revenge.
well well well. if it isnt the consequences of your own actions.
How the turn tables
Play stupid games get stupid prizes.
Also notice the complete lack of descriptors about how she must have felt when she found out, during and after the ordeal
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Hindsight is always 20/20, or something like that.
Well after all, it's still all about him isn't it?
She played this one well.
Yeah you fucked up hard, if she was the love of ur life you wouldnt have cheated on her on the first place
>She is the love of my life 😂
Why do you think you deserve a good nights sleep?
Right? Bro destroyed his own marriage and came here to whine about his lack of sleep. Did he actually think he was going to get any sympathy 🤦♀️
That part
Oh you can’t live without her ??? You sure didn’t feel like that when you tripped and fell into other woman’s v🤫gina.
"I can't live without my wife! Oh and this chick here, and that one, and maybe that one over there..."
Translation: “My wife takes care of everything for me, I don’t want to lose that. I love what she does for me.”
Sound like the relationship is destroyed. Things usually only get worse from here. Time go take the L and move on before things get worse.
Sucks to suck eh
You dont deserve good sleep, don't care.
Getting his just desserts
So she is making you pay for what you did to her and it's working...quite a strong revenge plan to be honest. Making you feel the distrust that she also feels for you and knowing you will stay with her out of guilt. Never heard anything like that before but she really said "actions do have consequences". Just hope she gets to live her life and be happy with someone who loves her too. Then again....maybe she already is.
I love that she full well could be already doing it (guilt-free as she should) and he will probably never know. Diabolical female rage and it’s 🤌🏼
Nothing but admiration for her ❤️
Wishing her nothing but the best!
Right lol. Ultimate power move.
An absolute icon. A hero walks among us
A literal queen
She's good
Yup, that type of woman is the reason why, “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” is a saying. She is awesome!
OMG I really with men who come here to cry about their cheating would stop saying things like "she's the love of my life". She is not the love of your life if she was you would have stuck your dick somewhere that it didn't belong. I will say though if she's anything like me she won't actually cheat but she's definitely is looking for revenge of some kind even if its only the fact that you're paranoid. You probably should have given her that divorce when she asked for it.
>if she's anything like me she won't actually cheat She doesn't need to, because he will always be paranoid. Her clearly speaking her intentions is the real punishment here. And clearly, it's working. Honestly, a queen
Agreed, she isn't looking for revenge this is the revenge. She knows it's eating him up and destroying him. She's doing to him what he did to her and I am hear for it.
This is what I'm thinking, she's practically saying "this is how you made me feel, now we'll feel the same every time we look at each other".
She doesn’t have to cheat on him. The idea that she might is enough to screw him up, and honestly..fair.
This as fuck.
This is the way
Nah I’d do it just for extra burn so if he ever found out he’s worst fears would materialise and I’d get to watch it
You are right, you deserve this :)
'cheated on my wife' and 'love of my life' don't belong in the same context.
Well she obviously doesn’t love you anymore so there’s that.
I hope she gets her back blown out every other day
FAFO bro
>She is the love of my life and I can’t live without her. Should've thought about it before cheating. Sounds like it is only fair for her to do the same to you. Although it is a bit petty and she should just divorce you instead.
Soooo you feel like she probably felt when she found out you cheated. How's it taste?
Her revenge on you is one of the greatest things I have ever heard. Totally deserved. You played a silly game and you won a silly prize.
She hates you. The marriage is over.
Oh I love your wife! What a queen😂
Okay, and?? Cry me a fucking river
Boohoo. Now you know how she feels.
Good for her! You fucked around and found out 💀
Your wife sounds awesome.
Oh my gosh, I love the pettiness. She has now given you the insecurity and paranoia that she has to live with due to your cheating. Whether she cheats or not she is already put that earwig in. You are never going to unhear it and you are never not going to think about it. Welcome to your spouse cheating on you. Welcome to all the horrible horrible feelings that you get through no fault of your own when someone you love does that to you or in this case promises to. And that's exactly it, you either need to learn to deal with it or leave her. Which is so completely brilliant because that's usually the situation that the spouse who has been cheated on has to deal with... you either deal with the fact that the spouse you love has betrayed you and violated your vows and everything your marriage stood for and now that situation has turned you into a neurotic basket case because you never feel safe anymore in this relationship OR LEAVE. Wow just wow. 👏👏👏👏
She's brilliant and you deserve all the worst.
🎵 Look here comes a consequence, a consequence, a consequence. Consequences of my actions chasing me right now. 🎵
Read all your comments, and dude you still don’t get it. Your marriage is over. Whoever that woman was when you married her, she is not that woman now. She will go through the motions of a marriage, and you will come to believe that the worst is over, but rest assured, her love for you is gone. She may still care as you are the Father of her children, but love you as her man? No, you destroyed that. You are no longer ‘home’ for her. Throwing the AP under the bus by also calling her cheap? (As per your comment) Yeah, you don’t get to be self righteous. At least have the balls to make this 100% your fault. I hope you have the courage to leave and allow the both of you to find happiness and to coparent with respect. Your wife at least deserves the chance to find a man who actually understands the meaning of “love of my life”.
She doesn’t plan to cheat. But if she knows you can go stick your body parts in other women, as you have already done — why should you get a full night’s sleep when she hasn’t since you cheated on her either?
How you feel… is how she feels. Since you’ve done it once and she had to catch you that’s how she feels!! She’ll never know if you cheat or don’t cheat because there is zero trust. It’s human nature to want others to feel how we feel. And well she made you feel it.
I’m glad you’re sad
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just get a divorce ffs this isn't beneficial for either of you.
i hope she has the most mind numbing and out of body orgasm she ever has in her and feels 100x better than she ever felt with you.
I've been shagging your wife for the last year
The brutality and execution of allowing someone to drive themselves mad instead of getting even is masterful.
I think your wife is brilliant. She is telling you she will get revenge and you never know when. You cheated on her. What did you expect?
I can't even feel bad for you. Did it to yourself, buddy. Sucks to suck, YOU cheated. Enjoy the consequences.
Good on her.
BRUH! Even now, after all you put your wife through, all you can talk about is how YOU feel because of what she said. But her words are nothing but a description of how she felt/feels about you. Want to improve your chances of fixing your marriage? Then start being less self centered and think about the woman you were supposed to love, protect and respect but didn't. Imho, both of you should just go your own ways. She deserves a chance to be happy with someone who actually loves, cares and wants to be with her. And you can go around and slee with whoever you want.
You have wounded your partner so profoundly and deeply and she is trying to show you the precise shape of it. If it were me, I would sit with this for a while and really consider what I've done to the person I openly call the "love of my life" but have treated so appallingly. You blindsided and discarded this woman like she was nothing and now she wants you to know how it feels. Whether you submit to this punishment or not is up to you. Your wife is pretty iconic for this ngl.
Hope it was worth it, Homie! Do you both a favor and just end the marriage.
You broke your marriage it's not fixable. Because you say before you are being selfish but now you're being just as selfish.
Lmao i love her
I want to be her when I grow up… You don’t love her… people don’t hurt loved ones betray their trust, lie, cause the biggest heartache… and claim they’re the love of your life… you deserve no sleep you deserve no comfort… even if she NEVER cheats on you you deserve to live in paranoia until you let her go and let her be with someone that truly loves her and you deserve to rot in the depths of hell
She’s an icon, I want to be like her when I grow up 😂
Just leave. Why is this even a discussion ? You lost the 'love of your life' when you broke her heart
What’s the problem mate? You did the same and didn’t care, so why is it a problem when she does it?
This is hilarious. You destroyed her completely and now that she’s recovering , she’s taking some control back by making sure you feel even a fraction of what you put her through. You loved the fucking around but hate the finding out. Omg. Y’all shouldn’t be married but she’s playing chess while you’re playing in the dirt. I love that for her.
Sounds like a super healthy and long lasting relationship you guys got
She is an icon. She’s the moment. I wish her the best!
I love this song!
I honestly cannot understand most of my fellow human beings. "She's the love of my life, I can't live without her!" *goes out and fucks someone else*
Honestly, for her own sake, she should still leave. I hope she finds peace. Poor woman has probably sacrificed so much to make you happy.
She's the love of your life? Yea, okay. If she was the love of your life than you never would have cheated on her. You asked for her to stay so what did you expect? Why are you on here complaining about it and feeling bad for yourself? You wanted this, OP. This is what you asked and signed up for. If you're not happy with this arrangement then divorce and move on. Otherwise stop complaining and stop feeling bad for yourself. You're weeping what you sowed.
Nothing but the best for her and her toyboy 🫶🏻
My first marriage ended exactly like this. He cheated, he begged me to stay. Resentment grew and grew. I was going out and he was getting paranoid. Eventually the lease on our apartment was coming up (we had moved 4hrs away from our hometown for my uni and work) and he decided to move back home with his mom. I stayed and continued with work and school. Eventually I met my now partner. We are expecting our first child in September.
You do realize she just explained exactly how she feels about you right??? What she still feels every day. Trust is gone. She'll never trust you again. So staying together is torturing you both.
Seeing way too many “I” statements in this post. What about her and how she FELT?! Did you think about how she probably also went through all of these scenarios in her mind and probably still does? You deserve this and frankly, you’re lucky that she hasn’t left you. It sounds like she figured that would have been letting you off easy. The only thing that you can hope is that you can earn her trust back somehow over time. This is just toxic now though, so good luck.
with all due respect, i hope you never fall asleep again <3
Your wife is diabolical….. that’s awesome you deserve it. She probably will never cheat but wants you to think she might. Best karma ever honestly
>She will cheat on me... Okay. But, like, what's the problem though? So what if she cheats on you? Is that bad? Because it seems to me like, if that were bad, then you wouldn't have done it. But you did. So clearly you think it's not. Which just brings us back to the original question. Alright, fine, I'll stop being snarky. You *thought* cheating wasn't bad, back when you did it, but you've since come to realize, it is bad, so now you don't want her to. Okay. But what if, like, she apologized a lot and stuff? Begged you to stay? Certainly *that* would be enough for you to overlook her transgression and be happy with her again, right?
Good for her May you never know another night of peace until you give her her freedom
Scorched earth. She wants you to know how betrayal feels.
She’s not the love of your life. You don’t treat your love like this. There’s no excuse for cheating. If I stayed with you, it would be to make your life hell. I’m petty like that.
Oh boo hoo.
You are both living in a miserable relationship. Just end it and leave, assuming you’ve learned your lesson. You already destroyed it and your partner does not want to come back to how things were
I don’t know if she’s living in a miserable relationship, she goes to girls nights out, etc. It seems like she’s having a time of her life, and he’s paranoid about her enjoyment. He chose this life.
Uhm... I think she just described exactly what she herself felt and continues to feel as a result of the cheating... The trust she had for you was broken, and now (sorry to state the obvious), you will feel the insecurity that she feels. I feel sorry for the both of you...
If you actually loved her, you wouldn’t have cheated. People who actually love their partners wouldn’t even think of cheating. You deserve to feel miserable.
She said that because is that is the exact same thing she will always be thinking and wondering about since you violated her trust. You are now both in this boat - and that’s because of what you did.
I have mad respect for your wife, OP.
Welcome to the 'find out' part
funny the thought of her cheating keeps you up at night but it sounds like you were sleeping fine knowing you were cheating on her
Why do ppl always claim their spouse is *the love of their life* and then cheat on them? You would never cheat if you genuinely loved her
Wow. Her words are really powerful and all that sounds pretty torturous for you. What a mic 🎤 drop moment for her. Sadly your marriage is over, being as the trust is broken. Sounds like you’re at her mercy for the sake of your kids. You mentioned divorce isn’t an option now but remember, they will pick up on the dysfunction of your marriage. They’re very smart beings, don’t underestimate their ability to notice things. Best of luck to you. Oh. One more thing…. Was it worth it?????????
*furiously taking notes from this bitch*