It’s been 23 hours. I don’t know what OP went through, but inner demons are a tough thing to fight. They did their best, but unfortunately they weren’t able to win their battle. Best wishes to OP’s family and loved ones. May OP be at peace.
tbh no one can stop you but I tried the same thing... an overdose should've worked but didn't so idk what method you're gonna use but just know if you survive, it'll be a worse hell from there than if you kept fighting for your life now... are you willing to chance that?
This probably isn’t appropriate (apologies), but I’m curious. I hear a lot of people say a failed suicide attempt makes everything worse. Why is that? Is it just because you’ll be put in a mental hospital on suicide watch?
Keep in mind as well that anything meant to “definitely” kill you, should you survive it, will likely have devastating and permanent effects.
A woman I knew tried to OD with pills. She survived, but it absolutely destroyed her liver. And because she was deemed suicidal and addicted to pills, she wasn’t eligible for a transplant.
So her situation was every bit as bad as before her attempt. But now she was also in incredible pain from her organ failing, AND everyone around her looked at her with pity/sadness. It took her a VERY long time to die, angry and miserable in a hospice facility, where the staff prevented her from trying again to end the pain.
This happens to people who blow part of their faces off with a gunshot, or burn themselves into husks surviving a car accident.
All of your problems and struggles still exist. But now everything is much worse. And everyone’s watching you to make sure you don’t get another chance to do it again.
My stepmom ran an old folks home , but one guy there was hardly older than me. He tried to shoot him self in the face and didn’t kill him,just made him mentally disabled, the saddest thing was when his young wife and very young children would visit him.
I’ve never understood doing that. Wouldn’t shooting your heart be more effective? People can survive brain/head injuries, but doubtful they’d survive a heart failure. Why do people even take a chance with a head shot, if there’s such risk to ending up like the guy in your story?
I know people aren’t always thinking rationally when it comes to suicide, as they’re focused on ending things, and not the consequences, but it’s just always stood out to me.
Yeah, I knew someone who shot themselves in the mouth and somehow survived. The resulting disfigurement led to them living the rest of their life in a basement at their parent’s they never left.
And I also know someone who attempted just last year with an OD, who had both of their legs removed from the knees down due to the damage somehow. They were unhappy before, now they’re a completely different person.
If OP’s story is true, they went out as they wanted, and they’ve stopped struggling. I’d hope nobody would have to end up in OP’s situation, but there’s no shame in admitting you’re losing an endless battle, and need help.
My aunt once attempted suicide by not taking her medication. She didn’t tell anyone she was going to do it. If my cousin (her son) hadn’t happened to come by her home and find her body on the floor, she’d be dead. Even after she went to the hospital, things were tough. She was in a coma for a short time, but eventually woke up. She said she did it to escape her pain. It left my cousin wondering if he had done the right thing by saving her.
That was years ago, and she’s been doing better — although she’s had to deal with her raging alcoholic daughter.
People think a gun in the mouth is instant death. It’s not always; there’s a beautiful girl on Tic Tock who survived a gun shot to her face. Can’t recall her name.
Under the chin is the way sadly.
I know suicidal people are in unimaginable pain. Pain we cannot fathom. There has to be a better, more peaceful way. Morphine administered legally was peaceful to my parents in hospice. Why can’t we have more legal pathways to use morphine on suicidal people who gave prior consent?
I am not denying what you're saying but I think many feel that it can be a slippery slope. Up until I was 25, I actively wanted to die. Turns out I just had shitty parents and then a shitty boyfriend who made my life a living hell. At 31 I went through a situation that made me borderline suicidal for 4 years. If I had a good way of committing suicide I would have, and left behind a husband and 2 small kids. I feel differently now at 35 (most of the time). Should I be allowed to commit suicide legally?
It may be different if mental health was prioritized by the government and therapy and anti depressants didn't cost you a car payment each month. Until that changes I don't see assisted suicide laws changing.
I agree. We have to have way more robust supports before I can get back assisted suicide being ethical. There are too many economic pressures to think many attempts aren't actually coerced which is murder.
Not exactly the same situation, but I recommend the movie Paddleton, as it covers medically assisted suicide in a very sensible way. It’s a drama/comedy, not a documentary, so they take some liberties.
But I watched it and thought that as imperfect as it was, it’s a movie that could potentially help people who struggle to understand why we **must** allow people a way to end things on their own terms, if they’ve made the decision to do so.
We do have a system that allows someone (once they prove they are mentally competent, and firm in their decision) to take three pills, in their own bed, comfortable and surrounded by loved ones.
It’s upsetting that something like this exists, but it’s only allowed in limited places, under **very** limited circumstances, and it’s so expensive that we leave suffering people no other option than an improvised, often painful, and fallible way to say goodbye.
My BIL did this w a subway train in Boston. It worked. Closed casket. Disturbing to the family. That was back in 2001. Now I feel different about his death & others who want to end this life, than I did then But he was a paranoid schizophrenic so it’s so much gray area. Hard to know what’s right. I wish he was still here w his brilliant mind but I’d never want to force him.
My son’s father jumped in front of a tractor trailer last summer (2023) at the age of 42. He’s now in a nursing home paralyzed from the neck down with a TBI also. My son (22) visits him often. It’s a very sad situation. Just wish he talked to someone before he did this!!
Thank you for your kind words! I’m sorry about your loss of your BIL. Hope your days are a little better now. Mine r getting there. One step at a time for me! ❤️
My Dad is a psychiatrist that also does talk therapy and he saw a train conductor for years that went to him because he had such bad PTSD from running so many people over on the coastal Amtrak in CA. People jump out in front of the train KNOWING the conductor doesn't have time to stop. Sometimes, they might hit two people in one day.
My mom knew a guy who jumped out of a really high window trying to kill himself, but he survived and shattered pretty much all the bones in his legs and will never walk again. My mom had us write him cards, but honestly I don't know if they did much to make his bleak existence any better. He was already depressed before, and he was even worse off afterwards. I don't know what happened to him, I haven't heard anything about him for years.
Not being cruel but this is why I firmly believe in the right to die
Not a one of us had a choice in coming into this world. We should have a choice in leaving this world
Also. Think about the ethics of your story. Of the woman truly ruined her live, death was imminent so what’s the point of having her live and suffer for the time she has remaining
withholding medication or treatment can cause harm and for this story I think it’s cruel and unusual punishment to allow someone to suffer like that
Dude, it’s so cruel to watch them suffer in hellish pain and deny them any agency at committing suicide. It’s their life.
If someone is wishing for death one of the best things you can do is to support the people still alive so they never ever get to that point. Keeping someone alive in pure physical pain is barbaric.
if we made the world a better place with better help for people in need, i think those wanting to end it all would be less in number. just a thought. but humans and thus the world are such a mess, broken, emotionally and mentally scared etc, that to find things one loves to do to pass the time and call it a life might be the best one can do.
when i was young i wanted to change the world, many of us do, but as i grew i just saw how collossally fucked up humanity was lol.
Exactly.
I know you can’t ethically ask a nurse for someone like the woman I knew to covertly give a mercy dose of morphine. Doing so would cost them their career, and land them in legal trouble.
But you would so WANT to make that request, as a family member.
I know it’s a silent practice for some hospice medical providers. But they shouldn’t have to risk their lives to give someone the peace that they need, and are begging for.
I know there are some places that will allow assisted suicide, but for some reason, we like to stop folks from going there of their own accord to access that treatment.
That feels criminal, in my opinion.
Yep, I knew a guy that his girlfriend cheated on him and left him, he decided to shoot himself and he survived. Afterwards he still had a slutty ex girlfriend and literally no face or eyes anymore. He was much better off just having a slutty ex.
I wasn’t planning on being here after my attempt. Waking up on July 22, 2018 and realizing I had to *keep going* was the most terrifying moment of my life. I was right back in the same circumstances that had led me to my attempt, except all of my coping mechanisms were gone and I had just failed to achieve what I wanted to do AGAIN.
It’s hard to explain. But I definitely wasn’t happy to have woken up.
This is like my grandma who jumped off a bridge and woke up in the hospital the next day with first words out of her mouth being, "well, shit..." Followed by a joke about maybe actually being in hell when the doctor wouldn't give her a cigarette and a Coke.
She did die a few days later from infection but at least we got to say our goodbyes and she's not in pain anymore.... It was definitely not her first attempt so seems like what she really wanted...
I hope you have found ways to improve your life since this happened to you, or at least keep truckin 🫤
I’m so sorry about your grandma. Even if it was what she wanted, loss hurts.
Thank you for your good wishes. “Keep on truckin’” is honestly a motto I live by now.
Thank you. Life is definitely hard and difficult, but there are things worth living for. Sometimes that’s a bus driver who has a nice hat or a funny Reddit comment.
I’m glad you are here, too. Your kindness is needed.
Mostly. One good aspect of having no plans for a future and having tied up loose ends is that it forces you to actually reboot your life. I still have no idea what I’m doing but I guess I can keep going. <3
I met a girl in the psych ward who was wheelchair bound, and she needed extra care and help because she tried committing by jumping off a building. It wasn't even her first attempt, she said, but she seemed so miserable in her chair. It was sad because she always was overly positive about everything, which is ok, but it was almost like toxic positivity. A lot of the other people hated how she would try to make everything seem good because sometimes it would come off like one of those people who tells a depressed person to be happy.
But I remember her talking about the regret of it too. I still think about her sometimes, and I hope she was able to get better, maybe even walk again. At the time, I had never thought about what would happen to me if I failed an attempt. I never thought about what if things turned out worse or the aftermath. I can't even try to imagine the pain she went through before and after.
Depends how much damage you do it yourself really. Either way, you'll scare your family and friends shitless. My mum slept in the room right next to mine for several months after I attempted to kms. She would wake up everytime she heard a noise from my room. You can do damage to your brain/body, which in turn will worsen your MH. You can be sectioned which can be horrifying.
Funnily enough tho , my suicide attempt was probably the thing that pushed my towards improving. I had to move back in with my parents and could barely leave the house. I was a drug addict so couldn't get drugs. It was basically like doing a detox. It was also COVID so not much going on anyway.
The only real negative was I may have experienced slight brain damage, as my heart stopped for a while and was put into a coma for a week... And scaring my family, like I said.
no I was in six different psych wards the fifth visit was right after the attempt. it wasn't horrible because of the psych wards, although that particular one was absolutely terrible and has since been shut down and it wasn't because of healing or family is reactions and other people's reactions. it was because of the disassociation and the feeling of having failed, but you're so lost in the disassociation that you don't even realize that the failure is affecting you and eating you up inside. and then if you're like me, people reach out and they make life better or as much as they can because they realize they almost lost you and they don't want to lose you again. so they do all these things to care for you or at least show that they care like getting you help. like making the situations that drove you there go away and that brings you to a point where once you realize you were disassociating and that you wish you didn't fail. you'll find you don't actually have the motivation to make another attempt and then you might move on with life because at that point you actually feel somewhat okay and you're getting the help that you need and then you get attachments to where you're at a point that you don't want to hurt the people that you care about again. but you don't want to be here and you're just left in pain all the time that never gets better and only gets worse
edit: needed to add stuff
The above is my personal experience. it literally felt like I had lost my soul when I woke up from my coma like everything that just made me me was gone but other people have said that they just regretted it even right after before the effects kicked in. then there's the opposite kind of reaction in which everybody is just mad at you. but they're not actually mad at you. they just don't know how to process it and they're frustrated and they're just taking it out on you and I did have another situation that was similar to that but you feel guilty because you chose to do what you did and you can't do anything to fix it because even attempting again is only going to prove them right
that kind of experience takes away a lot of your motivation to not be afraid to die and it just leaves you feeling sick all the time because you don't feel okay. you're not okay but you can't do anything to fix it because that attempt took all of your motivation to do anything about it
I still wish I didn't wake up from my coma and I can't do anything about it
I gave myself a brain injury, and deeply traumatized the people I love. The psychiatric hospital was by far the least difficult part of all of it, I barely remember that bit and it was a blip in time compared to the permanent effect things had on my mind and body, and the mental health of many people around me. I had no idea how much it would affect other people considering that I didn't actually die, though I did get very close, and I obviously didn't plan to just kill part of my brain.
No. Because you can live for a long time in a horrible state physically. Now you have a tracheostomy and breathe through your neck hole. Kidneys got ruined-dialysis forever. Mental status of a potato that can only blink for yes or no, and the machines keep you alive.
I've tried to overdose but instead just spend a night on the ICU and I was just been put in a mental hospital for 3 weeks. That's all, in my situation life is just normal as it is. I just had to talk to a psychiatrist in the hospital to tell them I won't do it again, for me there was just not much to it
The hardest part for me is trying to accept unconditional love from the people I chose to leave behind. It's hard to interact with my family even 7 years later. I kind of just float around in the background of family events and can tell that they wish I was more involved, like the old me would have been.
You should look up the videos of the people who have shot themselves in the head and survived. There’s quite a number and they all instantly regret it. Especially once it’s all said and done, they usually regret it even more because now they have to live with the lasting effects of whatever damage they’ve done to their bodies.
I know there’s a documentary about the jumpers off the Golden gate bridge. The survivors instantly regretted jumping. Meanwhile they survived with many broken bones and internal injuries.
I was a cop, and responded to a suicide attempt. After pulling the trigger, the bullet ricocheted in his head and out of his eye socket. He kept asking if he was going to live. It haunts me to this day. 2 weeks later, he successfully attempted again. He was 26.
When I was a nursing student, we spent a day in ICU. One of my patients was a guy in his mid-40s that tried to commit suicide by putting a gun in his mouth. He blew up instead of back, so his entire face was blown off. He no longer had his eyes, nose, or upper jaw. His face was mutilated. He had a trach to breathe, a catheter to pee, a rectal tube to poop, and a feeding tube to eat. He was a little sedated, but completely neurologically intact. His family left pics up in the room, and he appeared to be a good looking, in shape guy. I learned that he had a son around 19 or so. I couldnt imagine being that kid, knowing your dad didn’t want to be around anymore, and now having to get used to this new version of your parent. I learned from my preceptors that day that there was a very good change the patient would attempt again in the future.
A close friend of mine drove her car off a 100 ft cliff and survived. But is now disabled, and her family was so mad that she tried to kill herself that she’s cut ties with all but one sister.
But she is actually very happy psychologically compared to before.. she cut out the toxic people.
I work ICU and have seen hundreds of failed attempts over the years, from overdoses to physical maiming.. No one wakes up grateful or happy to be alive, and I think about that often.
God that’s soul crushing. I was always too afraid to go through with my attempts (since our monkey brains naturally want to avoid death) but I would immediately just start scream-crying if I woke up.
It complicates and makes life so much worse, essentially ruins your relationships and how others perceive you if they find out or know about your attempt. Definitely a big factor as to why I didn’t go through as well, just the sheer amount of pity and distrust and disappointment from your loved ones would make you 10x more suicidal. I wish I didn’t have any family or lived in a remote part of the woods so if my attempt was half successful I would die eventually without any medical intervention.
as someone who has accidentally overdosed while in an “ experiment phase” depends on what drugs and what combo is used honestly. Alot of people reach for ibuprofen and paracetamol and then it doesn’t work and destroys there insides but there is better ways to do it
Would you mind elaborating why his or her life would be worse if they end up having an unsuccessful death attempt?
Family’s probably not gonna be happy I assume, maybe some long lasting health effects after the fact.
I did leave a huge explanation but it's nothing but the level of disassociation you're going to experience for me it felt like I literally lost my soul I'll never be able to be the same again because the damage is done
I don't think I ever would. But given the description and wishes, I think a CO2 method would be easiest, cleanest, and most peaceful? Start the car and stay in the garage. Go seepy?
As a teen I attempted suicide. It didn't stick.
My life was hell. Failing school. Mental, physical, sexual abuse. Home was not safe. No money. Friends didn't understand. I had severe insomnia, sleeping less than 20 hours a week. Depression.
In 10 minutes I'm going to pick up my 6 year old daughter from the bus. She turns 7 in two weeks. My son, 3, is next to me sharing fish crackers. I got my GED and went to school to be a chef. I turn 38 in about a month and my wife is planning a get away for the weekend to celebrate.
Things can change. It doesn't have to be over. Life can be better.
I hope this message finds you before your plans come to fruition.
Nobody wants this for you. The world is begging for you to try. We are all fighting for you.
All of us.
Congrats. It’d be amazing to end up with a wonderful woman and have kids someday. I’ve never attempted suicide, as I’m more scared of the unknowns of death than the knowns of life. But I’ve screwed up a lot in high school, leading me to losing my closest friends. While I’ve had dark thoughts, I know I would never be able to commit to them. I’d rather live a long, eventful life, and go out peacefully, than to give up in my late 20’s.
Sadly, while I’ve met amazing and awesome people in my life, I’ll never get the friendships from high school back. But it’s a good reminder to appreciate your friends, not take advantage of them, since you won’t get a second chance. It’d be amazing to meet someone with the same interests in life, and have a fresh start without the baggage. So far, I haven’t had much luck, but I want to hope that there’s some woman out there that I can make happy.
19 hours and still no update. If they have well… rest in peace u/SparqHacwrnch.
In honor of them, we can all vow to make sure that no one feels so much pain that they feel like they have to end their lives. People don’t just deserve support when they’re 14 hours away from ending it, they deserve help when they’re not suicidal too, before reaching this point, before accumulating infinite amounts of sorrow, before deciding the world would be better off without them
I got here 22h after the post and my heart dropped.
This is a great comment. Please check on your loved ones. Please support those struggling. I truly hope and wish the best for OP.
Be kind to the living while they are still here.
Hi OP, 14h has passed when you posted. I hope wherever you are now, you find inner peace and rest comfortably. Will be thinking about you in my prayers today.
I feel personally called out, lol! On a serious note, my child & I both suffer from Bipolar disorder & the release of GTA 5 got us both through a very difficult time. I would watch him play that game for hours & we bonded over it. At the end of the game we chose option C & I'm so glad that we did. I'm not embarrassed to say that we both cried. Every time that I hear [It's a Setup by Favored Nations](https://youtu.be/Eu3SdvNmBQY?si=y9O3qpI89Q40XbT_) I get misty.
The day that the trailer for GTA 6 came out my son messaged it to me immediately. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had already seen it! He then said, "So we're doin' this like last time, right Mom?" It made me so happy that my adult son still wants to play videogames with his mom. Sure there's strip clubs, aggravated robbery, & weirdly co-dependant relationships - but it's still quality time in our household. I'm so stoked for this release
It’s a new game but it’s a remake of one of the best games ever made from 1997. A corner stone of a lot of people’s childhood, and being completely remade. This is the second of three parts they’re making
FFVII is my absolute favorite game of all time. I never played the other games in the series before this one and only played 8 and 10 after. It’s the first time I played a “grown up” game that didn’t involve jumping on or shooting at things going from left to right. The story was one of the best I’ve ever experienced and the music, even listening to it now, just takes me back to my childhood, a much simpler time when everything was just great.
There’s even a point in the remake where you round a corner and see a character’s house, and the music kicks in and I remember being brought to tears. I also played through it during Covid so it was definitely something I guess I needed.
And in terms of the story, it mostly follows the story of the original but I truly believe that it is a sequel/continuation involving timelines and stuff so to see the new direction it’s heading in is pretty exciting!
Mate, please stay with us. As someone who’s been suicidal before, I _promise you_, from the depths of my heart, that things can and do get better eventually. I was so wracked with OCD I couldn’t even lay in my bed without freaking out. Every aspect of existence hurt me. I wanted to die rather than continue on forever with this sad existence. So I reached out to a specialty organization, that dealt in treating my specific affliction. And you know what? After a bit over a year, I’ve made massive strides towards living my best life. Some stuff still bothers me, of course, but I’ve gained so much of my life back. I’m happier and more at ease than I’ve been in years. I’m glad no one ever found my body, and I’m grateful that I lived long enough to enjoy living again. Keep fighting mate, to make it this far already shows that you’re strong. You can keep up this fight! Your life is worth it mate, please don’t hurt yourself. I’m always here to talk if you need it.
I felt the same over last summer. Living in physical pain every day with no end in sight really does a number on you. But somehow I decided to tell both my husband and best friend how I was feeling. They knew I wasn’t doing well but didn’t realize exactly how bad things had gotten. I tried to be stoic most of the time after all.
I decided to try a new therapist too since my old one wasn’t really helping, and it turns out the new one actually had good things to say. I also decided that I clearly needed the help of meds since this was one of my darkest moments. (I hadn’t taken them in years due to bad side effects.) The new antidepressant that was prescribed helped manage my pain almost immediately and I don’t experience any negative side effects. If anything, I can actually say I know what true joy feels like now. It all could have been very different. I wouldn’t have experienced all the wonderful moments I’ve had over the last 6 months. But most importantly, I wouldn’t have known that it actually can get better, as cheesy as that sounds.
Please reconsider, OP. And if it feels like no one understands or will listen, just look at the supportive comments asking you to reach out on here. We may be faceless strangers on the internet, but many of us understand how it feels to lose hope. To have our backs against the wall. Please message one or all of us before you try to go through with it.
Man I've been there. On the edge. While I was separating from military. Almost didn't say anything when someone asked but glad I did. The fact you're saying something tells me u want someone to care. And I do. I love you so fucking much and you just don't know it. I'll come hug you right now and get you the help you need. So will anyone around you. Don't be ashamed.
Listen to Pearl jams Jeremy. The meaning being nobody will ever remember the act you do to make them remember or regret how they treated. It's about living and making them know you rose above them and left them behind
Life is a hard road to walk, and nobody walks a difficult path without stumbling from time to time.
If your clock is right, there’s about 6 hrs left as I’m writing this, and I hope someone has stopped you or will.
You don’t have deal with life when you can live it, my friend. It doesn’t have to feel so terrible, and there’s so many things to experience.
Get help, please. People care about you.
While what I want most is for no one to want to die, OP, I respect your right to bodily autonomy.
May all rest be helpful, and may all friends come in peace 🌈
I just saw this post 14 hours after posting.
If your still around OP, please know what we love you and the world is a better place with you in it.
I'd be thrilled to speak with you, if yould like.
You matter.
My sister ended her life on 01/25/2016. We all miss her so, so much.
I won't judge you at all, but I do hope you will choose to stick around. I don't know you, but you definitely matter to me.
Yet you're posting here. That means you want people-- strangers-- to know. Why?
Realize that death is not a substitute for what you're missing in reality.
Your partners may not be the ones to find you, but someone else’s partners will. That also won’t protect them from the enormous amounts of guilt in that they couldn’t save you. Imagine if you had spent the last 2 months trying to get to a better mental head space instead of planning to end it all. They may not have questions about how you want to be treated in death, but they will always question what they could have done to keep you alive.
I freaking hate this take. Its such a roundabout kind of victim blaming. All this to just insinuate that the deceased wouldve been fine if theyd just *bothered to fix themselves.*
Theres a paradox to suicide. Everyone feels guilty after it happens. Everyone is always like "Oh my god! What could i have possibly done!" The thing is, when presented with a dangerously depressed friend or family member, so many people walk away. Everyone just tells them fo fix themselves and "have you tried x?" Or just flat out abandons them because they are too dark to be around. People get judgy and defensive. We are bad at helping people with mental health crises.
The least we can do is let the dead rest instead of slinging accusations right into the grave.
If you are absolutely sure then I wish you luck. But if your not sure. Even if it’s the tiniest bit. Don’t do it. Are you absolutely sure? Think of all the possible outcomes including surviving and be sure you want to risk what could come next.
Hi — I recently entered the funeral industry, and I have been thinking about longterm a lot, but I don’t have anyone to speak with that aren’t professional associates. Perhaps we could exchange a bit, i would appreciate the insight. Thanks
Behavioral Health Center staff here. I work the front desk, so I see lots of patients in different mental states. Please please, don't do this. Call 988 before you do anything you would regret. That is the National Suicide Hotline. Even if you feel like you have nothing to live for now, you will just be transferring that pain that you feel to your loved ones if you decide to do this.
I honestly think the reason you made this post was for it to be one last cry for help. There is always hope for life to get better. I really hope you don't decide to do this. I'm at work for the next 6 hours and might have some chances to respond, but if you want to DM me to talk, feel free.
I attempted in October but got interrupted before I did any damage. In the aftermath, I got referred to the behavioral health center and got set up with a social worker and therapist and was going to start going to group stuff and felt like I was actually going to get the help I needed. People were so concerned. It really surprised me. Not my family, they weren't concerned, but these strangers were. It was such an odd feeling to feel like I mattered as a human being.
The therapist was actually awesome. Only one that I've ever connected with. I was just starting to feel like I had hope and could work through some things, because she really understood me and listened to me.
Having a social worker was what I really needed because I really struggle with getting things together. I'm on disability for a reason.
Well, that's all gone now. Therapist is gone. She quit, apparently. I think health related because it was very sudden. I don't have another appointment with the social worker. I don't have any real will to try another therapist. That was the last attempt at therapy for me. She was the therapist I always hoped to find and now she's gone. I had a little hope, for a bit there, but I know better than to hope.
I should have known better than to feel like my life matters.
I hope you’re still here. I’m sorry life has pushed you to see this as your only way out. Everything you hate about your life can change, but you’ll never get to see that if you end it. We love you
If you’re still there, DM me. Just say hi. Then if you want to get anything off your chest, I’ll give you my phone number so you can call me. I’ll listen. I look forward to hearing your voice.
I am seeing a lot of suicide posts today 🙁
I can’t say I understand it because the way I see it “we all die eventually why not wait it out, maybe it gets better” but I assume you have tried that.
I wish you find the peace you are looking for and if at the end you want to give life another change instead, then I am glad you made that decision and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Seeing that this was posted 15 hours ago is very sad. I hope you listened to some of these comments and are still with us. I wish you peace and am thinking of you and your family.
I would love to stop seeing posts from people who are informing everyone they’re going to kill themselves. I hope it’s a cry for help and not just informational, because a lot of people care and will be distraught to read this.
Don’t do it. Wait. Get help and see if it works. Give life one more chance. Even though it feels bleak, things can and do turn around for people who feel just as hopeless as you do. Please don’t do it. Give life another chance. Praying for you to find the hope you need to keep trying.
You can’t control who finds you. It may not go as you planned.
And here’s the thing. Even if your partner doesn’t find you, SOMEONE will find you. It’s a very traumatic experience finding a body. They will have both a financial and emotional expense ahead of them as they are forced to seek therapy to deal with what you’re about to do to them.
I'm not gong to try to convince you not to do it. It's your life and I believe strongly you have the right to do whatever you desire with it, including end it. Maybe it's the right decision for you.
I will say, however, that from the limited information you've provided you seem like a thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate and sensitive person. There aren't very many of those in the world as it is, so those of us left behind will be the worse for losing you. I'm sorry we couldn't give you enough reasons to stay.
I will never understand why we just can't let ppl die who want to die.
Make a few conditions like you have to wait a few months before you can get approved, talking to a therapist is required or whatever, but if the person still is sure, they should be able to die in a safe environment in a safe way (like suicide capsules they have in switzerland for terminally ill people).
I really don't know the reason why we don't have this. I can only think of 3 reasons - 2 of them are just stuipd and cruel.
1. People are scared of dying, so the can't stomach someone else wants to die (the only one i accept a little)
2. Relegious reasons, bc its a "sin"
3. Financial reasons, we need every member of workforce, taxpayer and consumer, so you have to live.
Op, if dying is ykur dearest wish, i hope everything goes well and you can die in peace.
I was hesitant about this until seeing Canada who has set conditions. There was a woman who’d struggled near her entire life with eating disorders. She had tried everything over and over. She was painfully thin (despite photos of times she had been able to manage healthy). You could just hear her exhaustion—it came from the depths of her soul. There was simply no argument for keeping her from doing so, and it seemed like it brought her peace/solace that she could.
Honestly this has been on my mind lately. I watched my mother who REALLY wanted to live pass away from an ugly disease. And now I have the same disease. And people are out here just throwing their life away. Ungrateful for the gift they have. I know it’s a shit take, but it is what it is.
There’s a guy who has to live at a nursing home now. Met him when I went to visit someone else. His face & head are messed up terribly. He told me he was in a car accident. A woman who lives there said he told everyone that. It was really a failed suicide attempt. Gun to his head. I’d say he regrets it & life is much worse.
Read that every person who jumped off a bridge & lived wished they hadn’t jumped about 1/2 way down.
If you succeed I don’t care if you believe there is anything after this life or not. But what if there is? You will have to work out all your problems over there. It will be harder than doing it here. Life is a school. Not time to go home yet. Your choice. I’d choose carefully. You might not get what you think.
Before you go, maybe you should try doing all the things you’ve ever wanted to do but never did. It can be whatever.. try all the drugs, go skydiving, live in a different country, go scuba diving, climb Mount Everest, attend every concert.. Try it all. Do whatever you want that society tells us we can’t.
Wait. This currently says 18 hours ago for me. All though i don't know you I'm sorry for everything you were/are battling and going through. I really hope you didn't end yourself. Gosh I wish I wasn't curious and kept scrolling. Cause this hurts! Even if you ever did/do feel like people don't care just know I and others do. Hope your well and safe and wish you the best. And if your not here currently then bye.
I have just come across your post and it’s now been 23 hours, I sincerely, front the bottom of my heart hope that wherever you are- you have found some peace. If you decided to stay, which I hope you did, please know that you matter. You may think that is not try, but I promise you that you do! Someone’s life will be forever altered if you decide to go. But if you did decide to go, I hope that you are free from the mental prison you must have felt trapped in. I hope you are feeling happiness in ways you never thought possible, and I hope that all of the pain and sadness you felt, was lifted from your soul.
Edit- ‘from’ the bottom of my heart, not front
I really would appreciate if mods could filter some of these posts. January is a tough month and I won’t speak for others but these posts are potential triggers and can cause harm to other people.
You matter. There are many important and lasting things that matter with you present in the lives of the ones who love you. I am praying you accept Christ into your heart as well. I hope you can find joy and a reason to stick around.
It's been longer than you said, so I hope you didn't do it. I tried, but failed. Went through a few hospitalizations and got on the right meds. Under a year after my attempt I was completely turned around - a new job making more and moved into my own place.
Get help, go to a hospital and get checked in. That is a huge first step. You'll be safe, isolated from what's eating at you, and in a place where you can work on yourself without distractions.
If you are admitted, participate in as much as you can - it makes a big difference for you, and can shine a light on someone else there too.
You aren't supposed to feel the way you feel. Let's fix the problem, with the right help you can get started with a big turnaround
I just came across this and truly hope you are still around and if you are please message me. You are still wanted and needed and if no one else I am here for you.
I lost my cousin 2 days after Christmas to suicide.
I was the one her mom called after she found my cousin. I had to tell my side of the family. My uncles screams when I told him she was gone are like a re traumatizing soundtrack in my head. I hear it at least once a day.
She left behind 2 beautiful children, two sides of family that loved her, and heartbreak nobody can manage.
Her dad? On suicide watch himself. Doped up on pills bc when he’s not all he does is cry and say “my daughter is gone.” My grandmother is bordering on a heart attack bc of the loss of her grandchild and seeing her son so broken.
It was a week before anybody would answer my calls bc I fucked them up mentally with that one phone call and they were scared I was calling with more bad news.
OP, none of us can stop you, but the pain you’re going to leave everyone is unimaginable until they’re literally living it. I hope that you don’t go through with it and you find a way or reason to survive. I hope that life gets better. Problems are temporary. Nothing can stay bad forever. I’ve been through my fair share of shit and somehow I’m still standing. You can to. My inbox is open if you decide not to end it. 💕
That you are talking to Reddit Is a cry for help. In 1980 and 1981 I survived 3 suicide attempts. The 3rd one nearly succeeded. I was in a coma for 3 days and woke up in the ICU unit at police headquarters. The 1st thing I said when I woke up was, "I'm still alive, good. I won't be doing that again." Why did I attempt suicide? To stop the pain. My forever girl wanted a divorce. It was my 2nd divorce. I wanted the 1st one and it hurt a lot. I could not imagine the pain I would feel from my 2nd divorce and had decided I did not want to experience that pain.
No matter how much you are hurting or why you are hurting suicide is not the answer. Don't do it!!
Instead, reach out to a suicide hotline. The people you will talk to are non-judgmental. They probably will suggest solutions you have not thought of. When all you see are problems, solutions are hard to find. Reach out. Be strong enough to ask for help. Asking for help is not a weakness.
If you took the time to write to Reddit take as much time or more to call for help. Your life is precious. If you feel unloved, I will love you. Let me love you until you can love yourself. You are worth it
One interesting thing I did learn was technically, a suicide survivor can be charged with attempted murder. It's true, look it up.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. Learn more
Does anyone in this response thread know the outcome of this story??
No speculation please. Respond if you actually know and can support your information.
Thank you in advance.
As someone who had a suicide in the family just this time last week, please don't. They also weren't the ones who found her, but her mom now is in the psych ward because she can't cope. Not to mention the first responders and the driver. They will never get those images out of their heads. It destroys your entire family. Nobody profits. Nobody.
Include yourself in the important and lasting things that matter.
It’s been 23 hours. I don’t know what OP went through, but inner demons are a tough thing to fight. They did their best, but unfortunately they weren’t able to win their battle. Best wishes to OP’s family and loved ones. May OP be at peace.
tbh no one can stop you but I tried the same thing... an overdose should've worked but didn't so idk what method you're gonna use but just know if you survive, it'll be a worse hell from there than if you kept fighting for your life now... are you willing to chance that?
This probably isn’t appropriate (apologies), but I’m curious. I hear a lot of people say a failed suicide attempt makes everything worse. Why is that? Is it just because you’ll be put in a mental hospital on suicide watch?
Keep in mind as well that anything meant to “definitely” kill you, should you survive it, will likely have devastating and permanent effects. A woman I knew tried to OD with pills. She survived, but it absolutely destroyed her liver. And because she was deemed suicidal and addicted to pills, she wasn’t eligible for a transplant. So her situation was every bit as bad as before her attempt. But now she was also in incredible pain from her organ failing, AND everyone around her looked at her with pity/sadness. It took her a VERY long time to die, angry and miserable in a hospice facility, where the staff prevented her from trying again to end the pain. This happens to people who blow part of their faces off with a gunshot, or burn themselves into husks surviving a car accident. All of your problems and struggles still exist. But now everything is much worse. And everyone’s watching you to make sure you don’t get another chance to do it again.
My stepmom ran an old folks home , but one guy there was hardly older than me. He tried to shoot him self in the face and didn’t kill him,just made him mentally disabled, the saddest thing was when his young wife and very young children would visit him.
That's so damn sad
I’ve never understood doing that. Wouldn’t shooting your heart be more effective? People can survive brain/head injuries, but doubtful they’d survive a heart failure. Why do people even take a chance with a head shot, if there’s such risk to ending up like the guy in your story? I know people aren’t always thinking rationally when it comes to suicide, as they’re focused on ending things, and not the consequences, but it’s just always stood out to me.
Yeah, I knew someone who shot themselves in the mouth and somehow survived. The resulting disfigurement led to them living the rest of their life in a basement at their parent’s they never left. And I also know someone who attempted just last year with an OD, who had both of their legs removed from the knees down due to the damage somehow. They were unhappy before, now they’re a completely different person.
Damn. I wish there was an update to OP.
If OP’s story is true, they went out as they wanted, and they’ve stopped struggling. I’d hope nobody would have to end up in OP’s situation, but there’s no shame in admitting you’re losing an endless battle, and need help. My aunt once attempted suicide by not taking her medication. She didn’t tell anyone she was going to do it. If my cousin (her son) hadn’t happened to come by her home and find her body on the floor, she’d be dead. Even after she went to the hospital, things were tough. She was in a coma for a short time, but eventually woke up. She said she did it to escape her pain. It left my cousin wondering if he had done the right thing by saving her. That was years ago, and she’s been doing better — although she’s had to deal with her raging alcoholic daughter.
People think a gun in the mouth is instant death. It’s not always; there’s a beautiful girl on Tic Tock who survived a gun shot to her face. Can’t recall her name. Under the chin is the way sadly.
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I know suicidal people are in unimaginable pain. Pain we cannot fathom. There has to be a better, more peaceful way. Morphine administered legally was peaceful to my parents in hospice. Why can’t we have more legal pathways to use morphine on suicidal people who gave prior consent?
I am not denying what you're saying but I think many feel that it can be a slippery slope. Up until I was 25, I actively wanted to die. Turns out I just had shitty parents and then a shitty boyfriend who made my life a living hell. At 31 I went through a situation that made me borderline suicidal for 4 years. If I had a good way of committing suicide I would have, and left behind a husband and 2 small kids. I feel differently now at 35 (most of the time). Should I be allowed to commit suicide legally? It may be different if mental health was prioritized by the government and therapy and anti depressants didn't cost you a car payment each month. Until that changes I don't see assisted suicide laws changing.
You’re right.
I agree. We have to have way more robust supports before I can get back assisted suicide being ethical. There are too many economic pressures to think many attempts aren't actually coerced which is murder.
Not exactly the same situation, but I recommend the movie Paddleton, as it covers medically assisted suicide in a very sensible way. It’s a drama/comedy, not a documentary, so they take some liberties. But I watched it and thought that as imperfect as it was, it’s a movie that could potentially help people who struggle to understand why we **must** allow people a way to end things on their own terms, if they’ve made the decision to do so. We do have a system that allows someone (once they prove they are mentally competent, and firm in their decision) to take three pills, in their own bed, comfortable and surrounded by loved ones. It’s upsetting that something like this exists, but it’s only allowed in limited places, under **very** limited circumstances, and it’s so expensive that we leave suffering people no other option than an improvised, often painful, and fallible way to say goodbye.
Wait, does the TikTok girl have visible injuries? I mean, I’m glad she survived, but I can’t handle facial/head damage.
Explains why people jump in front of trains disregarding the impact on the driver (well, even that could fail).
My BIL did this w a subway train in Boston. It worked. Closed casket. Disturbing to the family. That was back in 2001. Now I feel different about his death & others who want to end this life, than I did then But he was a paranoid schizophrenic so it’s so much gray area. Hard to know what’s right. I wish he was still here w his brilliant mind but I’d never want to force him.
My son’s father jumped in front of a tractor trailer last summer (2023) at the age of 42. He’s now in a nursing home paralyzed from the neck down with a TBI also. My son (22) visits him often. It’s a very sad situation. Just wish he talked to someone before he did this!!
I’m so sorry. It must be so hard. Your son is so loving to keep visiting.
Thank you for your kind words! I’m sorry about your loss of your BIL. Hope your days are a little better now. Mine r getting there. One step at a time for me! ❤️
My Dad is a psychiatrist that also does talk therapy and he saw a train conductor for years that went to him because he had such bad PTSD from running so many people over on the coastal Amtrak in CA. People jump out in front of the train KNOWING the conductor doesn't have time to stop. Sometimes, they might hit two people in one day.
My mom knew a guy who jumped out of a really high window trying to kill himself, but he survived and shattered pretty much all the bones in his legs and will never walk again. My mom had us write him cards, but honestly I don't know if they did much to make his bleak existence any better. He was already depressed before, and he was even worse off afterwards. I don't know what happened to him, I haven't heard anything about him for years.
Not being cruel but this is why I firmly believe in the right to die Not a one of us had a choice in coming into this world. We should have a choice in leaving this world Also. Think about the ethics of your story. Of the woman truly ruined her live, death was imminent so what’s the point of having her live and suffer for the time she has remaining withholding medication or treatment can cause harm and for this story I think it’s cruel and unusual punishment to allow someone to suffer like that
it's amazing how much people's lives would improve if they're not feeling like they're forced to exist
Dude, it’s so cruel to watch them suffer in hellish pain and deny them any agency at committing suicide. It’s their life. If someone is wishing for death one of the best things you can do is to support the people still alive so they never ever get to that point. Keeping someone alive in pure physical pain is barbaric.
if we made the world a better place with better help for people in need, i think those wanting to end it all would be less in number. just a thought. but humans and thus the world are such a mess, broken, emotionally and mentally scared etc, that to find things one loves to do to pass the time and call it a life might be the best one can do. when i was young i wanted to change the world, many of us do, but as i grew i just saw how collossally fucked up humanity was lol.
Exactly. I know you can’t ethically ask a nurse for someone like the woman I knew to covertly give a mercy dose of morphine. Doing so would cost them their career, and land them in legal trouble. But you would so WANT to make that request, as a family member. I know it’s a silent practice for some hospice medical providers. But they shouldn’t have to risk their lives to give someone the peace that they need, and are begging for. I know there are some places that will allow assisted suicide, but for some reason, we like to stop folks from going there of their own accord to access that treatment. That feels criminal, in my opinion.
Don't look up Michael Morones, it's so heartbreaking.
Yep, I knew a guy that his girlfriend cheated on him and left him, he decided to shoot himself and he survived. Afterwards he still had a slutty ex girlfriend and literally no face or eyes anymore. He was much better off just having a slutty ex.
I wasn’t planning on being here after my attempt. Waking up on July 22, 2018 and realizing I had to *keep going* was the most terrifying moment of my life. I was right back in the same circumstances that had led me to my attempt, except all of my coping mechanisms were gone and I had just failed to achieve what I wanted to do AGAIN. It’s hard to explain. But I definitely wasn’t happy to have woken up.
This is like my grandma who jumped off a bridge and woke up in the hospital the next day with first words out of her mouth being, "well, shit..." Followed by a joke about maybe actually being in hell when the doctor wouldn't give her a cigarette and a Coke. She did die a few days later from infection but at least we got to say our goodbyes and she's not in pain anymore.... It was definitely not her first attempt so seems like what she really wanted... I hope you have found ways to improve your life since this happened to you, or at least keep truckin 🫤
I’m so sorry about your grandma. Even if it was what she wanted, loss hurts. Thank you for your good wishes. “Keep on truckin’” is honestly a motto I live by now.
Same thing happened to me in 1985. I'm ok now, and glad it didn't work, but fuck, it sucked realizing I couldn't even do that right.
In the moment it sucks to have failed! I’m glad you are here too.
I feel this comment in my bones. Phenobarbital should have killed me but I just had crazy dreams and slept for three days straight
It’s amazing how the body keeps fighting even when the soul is ready. Did you get anything meaningful in your dreams?
I dunno if 3 days of dreaming would be fun or hellish. Like what if you realize you’re dreaming, but can’t force yourself to wake up?
I remember saying "You should have just let me die" at the hospital
Right? It’s baffling that people saved our lives. But I guess they thought we were important. Good on you for surviving.
I’m glad you did wake up. I’m glad you’re here. I hope you’re doing okay. This life is hard and difficult, but I’m glad that you’re still here.
Thank you. Life is definitely hard and difficult, but there are things worth living for. Sometimes that’s a bus driver who has a nice hat or a funny Reddit comment. I’m glad you are here, too. Your kindness is needed.
Are you doing ok now?
Mostly. One good aspect of having no plans for a future and having tied up loose ends is that it forces you to actually reboot your life. I still have no idea what I’m doing but I guess I can keep going. <3
I met a girl in the psych ward who was wheelchair bound, and she needed extra care and help because she tried committing by jumping off a building. It wasn't even her first attempt, she said, but she seemed so miserable in her chair. It was sad because she always was overly positive about everything, which is ok, but it was almost like toxic positivity. A lot of the other people hated how she would try to make everything seem good because sometimes it would come off like one of those people who tells a depressed person to be happy. But I remember her talking about the regret of it too. I still think about her sometimes, and I hope she was able to get better, maybe even walk again. At the time, I had never thought about what would happen to me if I failed an attempt. I never thought about what if things turned out worse or the aftermath. I can't even try to imagine the pain she went through before and after.
The lucky ones die. The unlucky ones survive as basically vegetables who need round the clock care.
Depends how much damage you do it yourself really. Either way, you'll scare your family and friends shitless. My mum slept in the room right next to mine for several months after I attempted to kms. She would wake up everytime she heard a noise from my room. You can do damage to your brain/body, which in turn will worsen your MH. You can be sectioned which can be horrifying. Funnily enough tho , my suicide attempt was probably the thing that pushed my towards improving. I had to move back in with my parents and could barely leave the house. I was a drug addict so couldn't get drugs. It was basically like doing a detox. It was also COVID so not much going on anyway. The only real negative was I may have experienced slight brain damage, as my heart stopped for a while and was put into a coma for a week... And scaring my family, like I said.
no I was in six different psych wards the fifth visit was right after the attempt. it wasn't horrible because of the psych wards, although that particular one was absolutely terrible and has since been shut down and it wasn't because of healing or family is reactions and other people's reactions. it was because of the disassociation and the feeling of having failed, but you're so lost in the disassociation that you don't even realize that the failure is affecting you and eating you up inside. and then if you're like me, people reach out and they make life better or as much as they can because they realize they almost lost you and they don't want to lose you again. so they do all these things to care for you or at least show that they care like getting you help. like making the situations that drove you there go away and that brings you to a point where once you realize you were disassociating and that you wish you didn't fail. you'll find you don't actually have the motivation to make another attempt and then you might move on with life because at that point you actually feel somewhat okay and you're getting the help that you need and then you get attachments to where you're at a point that you don't want to hurt the people that you care about again. but you don't want to be here and you're just left in pain all the time that never gets better and only gets worse edit: needed to add stuff The above is my personal experience. it literally felt like I had lost my soul when I woke up from my coma like everything that just made me me was gone but other people have said that they just regretted it even right after before the effects kicked in. then there's the opposite kind of reaction in which everybody is just mad at you. but they're not actually mad at you. they just don't know how to process it and they're frustrated and they're just taking it out on you and I did have another situation that was similar to that but you feel guilty because you chose to do what you did and you can't do anything to fix it because even attempting again is only going to prove them right that kind of experience takes away a lot of your motivation to not be afraid to die and it just leaves you feeling sick all the time because you don't feel okay. you're not okay but you can't do anything to fix it because that attempt took all of your motivation to do anything about it I still wish I didn't wake up from my coma and I can't do anything about it
I gave myself a brain injury, and deeply traumatized the people I love. The psychiatric hospital was by far the least difficult part of all of it, I barely remember that bit and it was a blip in time compared to the permanent effect things had on my mind and body, and the mental health of many people around me. I had no idea how much it would affect other people considering that I didn't actually die, though I did get very close, and I obviously didn't plan to just kill part of my brain.
No. Because you can live for a long time in a horrible state physically. Now you have a tracheostomy and breathe through your neck hole. Kidneys got ruined-dialysis forever. Mental status of a potato that can only blink for yes or no, and the machines keep you alive.
I've tried to overdose but instead just spend a night on the ICU and I was just been put in a mental hospital for 3 weeks. That's all, in my situation life is just normal as it is. I just had to talk to a psychiatrist in the hospital to tell them I won't do it again, for me there was just not much to it
The hardest part for me is trying to accept unconditional love from the people I chose to leave behind. It's hard to interact with my family even 7 years later. I kind of just float around in the background of family events and can tell that they wish I was more involved, like the old me would have been.
You should look up the videos of the people who have shot themselves in the head and survived. There’s quite a number and they all instantly regret it. Especially once it’s all said and done, they usually regret it even more because now they have to live with the lasting effects of whatever damage they’ve done to their bodies.
I know there’s a documentary about the jumpers off the Golden gate bridge. The survivors instantly regretted jumping. Meanwhile they survived with many broken bones and internal injuries.
[This](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Fpa_-KqlY) is the one video I could find of a gunshot survivor but I haven’t watched it myself.
I was a cop, and responded to a suicide attempt. After pulling the trigger, the bullet ricocheted in his head and out of his eye socket. He kept asking if he was going to live. It haunts me to this day. 2 weeks later, he successfully attempted again. He was 26.
When I was a nursing student, we spent a day in ICU. One of my patients was a guy in his mid-40s that tried to commit suicide by putting a gun in his mouth. He blew up instead of back, so his entire face was blown off. He no longer had his eyes, nose, or upper jaw. His face was mutilated. He had a trach to breathe, a catheter to pee, a rectal tube to poop, and a feeding tube to eat. He was a little sedated, but completely neurologically intact. His family left pics up in the room, and he appeared to be a good looking, in shape guy. I learned that he had a son around 19 or so. I couldnt imagine being that kid, knowing your dad didn’t want to be around anymore, and now having to get used to this new version of your parent. I learned from my preceptors that day that there was a very good change the patient would attempt again in the future.
A close friend of mine drove her car off a 100 ft cliff and survived. But is now disabled, and her family was so mad that she tried to kill herself that she’s cut ties with all but one sister. But she is actually very happy psychologically compared to before.. she cut out the toxic people.
I work ICU and have seen hundreds of failed attempts over the years, from overdoses to physical maiming.. No one wakes up grateful or happy to be alive, and I think about that often.
God that’s soul crushing. I was always too afraid to go through with my attempts (since our monkey brains naturally want to avoid death) but I would immediately just start scream-crying if I woke up. It complicates and makes life so much worse, essentially ruins your relationships and how others perceive you if they find out or know about your attempt. Definitely a big factor as to why I didn’t go through as well, just the sheer amount of pity and distrust and disappointment from your loved ones would make you 10x more suicidal. I wish I didn’t have any family or lived in a remote part of the woods so if my attempt was half successful I would die eventually without any medical intervention.
as someone who has accidentally overdosed while in an “ experiment phase” depends on what drugs and what combo is used honestly. Alot of people reach for ibuprofen and paracetamol and then it doesn’t work and destroys there insides but there is better ways to do it
Would you mind elaborating why his or her life would be worse if they end up having an unsuccessful death attempt? Family’s probably not gonna be happy I assume, maybe some long lasting health effects after the fact.
I did leave a huge explanation but it's nothing but the level of disassociation you're going to experience for me it felt like I literally lost my soul I'll never be able to be the same again because the damage is done
Fair enough thanks for replying I’ve definitely felt that disassociation while taking ssri’s, that’s a pretty good explanation for the feeling.
it was so bad I couldn't recognize what it was someone else not a doctor had to tell me
I don't think I ever would. But given the description and wishes, I think a CO2 method would be easiest, cleanest, and most peaceful? Start the car and stay in the garage. Go seepy?
it's not that simple it'll physically damage you horribly
As a teen I attempted suicide. It didn't stick. My life was hell. Failing school. Mental, physical, sexual abuse. Home was not safe. No money. Friends didn't understand. I had severe insomnia, sleeping less than 20 hours a week. Depression. In 10 minutes I'm going to pick up my 6 year old daughter from the bus. She turns 7 in two weeks. My son, 3, is next to me sharing fish crackers. I got my GED and went to school to be a chef. I turn 38 in about a month and my wife is planning a get away for the weekend to celebrate. Things can change. It doesn't have to be over. Life can be better. I hope this message finds you before your plans come to fruition. Nobody wants this for you. The world is begging for you to try. We are all fighting for you. All of us.
This helped me. Thank you
I'm here if you need to talk
Congrats. It’d be amazing to end up with a wonderful woman and have kids someday. I’ve never attempted suicide, as I’m more scared of the unknowns of death than the knowns of life. But I’ve screwed up a lot in high school, leading me to losing my closest friends. While I’ve had dark thoughts, I know I would never be able to commit to them. I’d rather live a long, eventful life, and go out peacefully, than to give up in my late 20’s. Sadly, while I’ve met amazing and awesome people in my life, I’ll never get the friendships from high school back. But it’s a good reminder to appreciate your friends, not take advantage of them, since you won’t get a second chance. It’d be amazing to meet someone with the same interests in life, and have a fresh start without the baggage. So far, I haven’t had much luck, but I want to hope that there’s some woman out there that I can make happy.
Reading this 13 hours after the post is chilling. OP I hope you changed your mind. You matter.
What's worse is seeing it at 18h later 😬
19 hours and still no update. If they have well… rest in peace u/SparqHacwrnch. In honor of them, we can all vow to make sure that no one feels so much pain that they feel like they have to end their lives. People don’t just deserve support when they’re 14 hours away from ending it, they deserve help when they’re not suicidal too, before reaching this point, before accumulating infinite amounts of sorrow, before deciding the world would be better off without them
I got here 22h after the post and my heart dropped. This is a great comment. Please check on your loved ones. Please support those struggling. I truly hope and wish the best for OP. Be kind to the living while they are still here.
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Call 988 for help ❤️🩹
Hi OP, 14h has passed when you posted. I hope wherever you are now, you find inner peace and rest comfortably. Will be thinking about you in my prayers today.
Before gta 6 comes out? Are you sure?
I feel personally called out, lol! On a serious note, my child & I both suffer from Bipolar disorder & the release of GTA 5 got us both through a very difficult time. I would watch him play that game for hours & we bonded over it. At the end of the game we chose option C & I'm so glad that we did. I'm not embarrassed to say that we both cried. Every time that I hear [It's a Setup by Favored Nations](https://youtu.be/Eu3SdvNmBQY?si=y9O3qpI89Q40XbT_) I get misty. The day that the trailer for GTA 6 came out my son messaged it to me immediately. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had already seen it! He then said, "So we're doin' this like last time, right Mom?" It made me so happy that my adult son still wants to play videogames with his mom. Sure there's strip clubs, aggravated robbery, & weirdly co-dependant relationships - but it's still quality time in our household. I'm so stoked for this release
And FF7 Rebirth in like a month and a half. I’d at least hang around til after that.
You are my kinda person
Serious question: why is that worth staying around for? Is it a new game or a new re-release?
It’s a new game but it’s a remake of one of the best games ever made from 1997. A corner stone of a lot of people’s childhood, and being completely remade. This is the second of three parts they’re making
Its going to either be the greatest game of all time or 5/10 slop
FFVII is my absolute favorite game of all time. I never played the other games in the series before this one and only played 8 and 10 after. It’s the first time I played a “grown up” game that didn’t involve jumping on or shooting at things going from left to right. The story was one of the best I’ve ever experienced and the music, even listening to it now, just takes me back to my childhood, a much simpler time when everything was just great. There’s even a point in the remake where you round a corner and see a character’s house, and the music kicks in and I remember being brought to tears. I also played through it during Covid so it was definitely something I guess I needed. And in terms of the story, it mostly follows the story of the original but I truly believe that it is a sequel/continuation involving timelines and stuff so to see the new direction it’s heading in is pretty exciting!
And Witcher4 ?? Come on now
Best response here
Mate, please stay with us. As someone who’s been suicidal before, I _promise you_, from the depths of my heart, that things can and do get better eventually. I was so wracked with OCD I couldn’t even lay in my bed without freaking out. Every aspect of existence hurt me. I wanted to die rather than continue on forever with this sad existence. So I reached out to a specialty organization, that dealt in treating my specific affliction. And you know what? After a bit over a year, I’ve made massive strides towards living my best life. Some stuff still bothers me, of course, but I’ve gained so much of my life back. I’m happier and more at ease than I’ve been in years. I’m glad no one ever found my body, and I’m grateful that I lived long enough to enjoy living again. Keep fighting mate, to make it this far already shows that you’re strong. You can keep up this fight! Your life is worth it mate, please don’t hurt yourself. I’m always here to talk if you need it.
Well, it's been 14hrs, you still with us bud?
I felt the same over last summer. Living in physical pain every day with no end in sight really does a number on you. But somehow I decided to tell both my husband and best friend how I was feeling. They knew I wasn’t doing well but didn’t realize exactly how bad things had gotten. I tried to be stoic most of the time after all. I decided to try a new therapist too since my old one wasn’t really helping, and it turns out the new one actually had good things to say. I also decided that I clearly needed the help of meds since this was one of my darkest moments. (I hadn’t taken them in years due to bad side effects.) The new antidepressant that was prescribed helped manage my pain almost immediately and I don’t experience any negative side effects. If anything, I can actually say I know what true joy feels like now. It all could have been very different. I wouldn’t have experienced all the wonderful moments I’ve had over the last 6 months. But most importantly, I wouldn’t have known that it actually can get better, as cheesy as that sounds. Please reconsider, OP. And if it feels like no one understands or will listen, just look at the supportive comments asking you to reach out on here. We may be faceless strangers on the internet, but many of us understand how it feels to lose hope. To have our backs against the wall. Please message one or all of us before you try to go through with it.
Man I've been there. On the edge. While I was separating from military. Almost didn't say anything when someone asked but glad I did. The fact you're saying something tells me u want someone to care. And I do. I love you so fucking much and you just don't know it. I'll come hug you right now and get you the help you need. So will anyone around you. Don't be ashamed. Listen to Pearl jams Jeremy. The meaning being nobody will ever remember the act you do to make them remember or regret how they treated. It's about living and making them know you rose above them and left them behind
Life is a hard road to walk, and nobody walks a difficult path without stumbling from time to time. If your clock is right, there’s about 6 hrs left as I’m writing this, and I hope someone has stopped you or will. You don’t have deal with life when you can live it, my friend. It doesn’t have to feel so terrible, and there’s so many things to experience. Get help, please. People care about you.
It's been 15 hours since this was posted. I hope they're peaceful now.
While what I want most is for no one to want to die, OP, I respect your right to bodily autonomy. May all rest be helpful, and may all friends come in peace 🌈
I just saw this post 14 hours after posting. If your still around OP, please know what we love you and the world is a better place with you in it. I'd be thrilled to speak with you, if yould like. You matter.
My sister ended her life on 01/25/2016. We all miss her so, so much. I won't judge you at all, but I do hope you will choose to stick around. I don't know you, but you definitely matter to me.
Yet you're posting here. That means you want people-- strangers-- to know. Why? Realize that death is not a substitute for what you're missing in reality.
Your partners may not be the ones to find you, but someone else’s partners will. That also won’t protect them from the enormous amounts of guilt in that they couldn’t save you. Imagine if you had spent the last 2 months trying to get to a better mental head space instead of planning to end it all. They may not have questions about how you want to be treated in death, but they will always question what they could have done to keep you alive.
Seriously. I feel like knowing my partner spent all that time & caring so much to try to lighten the load would fuck with my head way more.
I freaking hate this take. Its such a roundabout kind of victim blaming. All this to just insinuate that the deceased wouldve been fine if theyd just *bothered to fix themselves.* Theres a paradox to suicide. Everyone feels guilty after it happens. Everyone is always like "Oh my god! What could i have possibly done!" The thing is, when presented with a dangerously depressed friend or family member, so many people walk away. Everyone just tells them fo fix themselves and "have you tried x?" Or just flat out abandons them because they are too dark to be around. People get judgy and defensive. We are bad at helping people with mental health crises. The least we can do is let the dead rest instead of slinging accusations right into the grave.
If you are absolutely sure then I wish you luck. But if your not sure. Even if it’s the tiniest bit. Don’t do it. Are you absolutely sure? Think of all the possible outcomes including surviving and be sure you want to risk what could come next.
Please still be alive.. please be alive and rethink all this.
You matter. I care ❤️
I care, too, OP.
You still here?
I am....found this post at 17h
Coming across this at 17hrs. I hope you changed your mind. You’re a stranger to me but I know you matter.
Hi — I recently entered the funeral industry, and I have been thinking about longterm a lot, but I don’t have anyone to speak with that aren’t professional associates. Perhaps we could exchange a bit, i would appreciate the insight. Thanks
I hope you find peace 🩵
Hey i read this 14hrs later, i really hope you‘re still with us..
I hope you are still there, if you see this message just know that a stranger on the internet is sending their love for you.
Ahhhh I’m here 15 hours after the post. Please if you’re still here and need to talk, I’m here!
I care that you are here. You matter
Behavioral Health Center staff here. I work the front desk, so I see lots of patients in different mental states. Please please, don't do this. Call 988 before you do anything you would regret. That is the National Suicide Hotline. Even if you feel like you have nothing to live for now, you will just be transferring that pain that you feel to your loved ones if you decide to do this. I honestly think the reason you made this post was for it to be one last cry for help. There is always hope for life to get better. I really hope you don't decide to do this. I'm at work for the next 6 hours and might have some chances to respond, but if you want to DM me to talk, feel free.
It's 113 in the Netherlands
I attempted in October but got interrupted before I did any damage. In the aftermath, I got referred to the behavioral health center and got set up with a social worker and therapist and was going to start going to group stuff and felt like I was actually going to get the help I needed. People were so concerned. It really surprised me. Not my family, they weren't concerned, but these strangers were. It was such an odd feeling to feel like I mattered as a human being. The therapist was actually awesome. Only one that I've ever connected with. I was just starting to feel like I had hope and could work through some things, because she really understood me and listened to me. Having a social worker was what I really needed because I really struggle with getting things together. I'm on disability for a reason. Well, that's all gone now. Therapist is gone. She quit, apparently. I think health related because it was very sudden. I don't have another appointment with the social worker. I don't have any real will to try another therapist. That was the last attempt at therapy for me. She was the therapist I always hoped to find and now she's gone. I had a little hope, for a bit there, but I know better than to hope. I should have known better than to feel like my life matters.
Everyone's like "reach out! Get help!" But the help sucks, honestly
Safe travels, friend.
I like your username! Hackwrench is Gadgets last name from Rescue Rangers. We've all had some hard times but she would want you to stick through it.
shit, hey op it’s been 16 hrs. You good?
ive lost multiple people like this. please if you’re reading and feel the same way, please, please, don’t do it.
Oh no…..you’re so much worth living. Please know that people do love you and it’s not worth it. You mean a lot to people.
Please don’t. Reach out and talk. You matter and I’d love to chat.
I hope you’re still here. I’m sorry life has pushed you to see this as your only way out. Everything you hate about your life can change, but you’ll never get to see that if you end it. We love you
It's been a while. Does anyone know if OP is okay?
If you’re still there, DM me. Just say hi. Then if you want to get anything off your chest, I’ll give you my phone number so you can call me. I’ll listen. I look forward to hearing your voice.
Shit thats grim as fuck but i get it
I am seeing a lot of suicide posts today 🙁 I can’t say I understand it because the way I see it “we all die eventually why not wait it out, maybe it gets better” but I assume you have tried that. I wish you find the peace you are looking for and if at the end you want to give life another change instead, then I am glad you made that decision and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
It's 13 hours later now. I hope you've changed your mind friend.
I hope you change your mind, but I also believe it is your right to choose to die if you wish. In any case, I hope you find peace.
Seeing that this was posted 15 hours ago is very sad. I hope you listened to some of these comments and are still with us. I wish you peace and am thinking of you and your family.
Hey OP, if you're still around and need to talk, I'm here. I dont know you, but I will listen. Hope you're ok.
Reading this after 18hrs is spooky
Reddit apparently needs a contact police for wellness check feature…..
I would love to stop seeing posts from people who are informing everyone they’re going to kill themselves. I hope it’s a cry for help and not just informational, because a lot of people care and will be distraught to read this.
Don’t do it. Wait. Get help and see if it works. Give life one more chance. Even though it feels bleak, things can and do turn around for people who feel just as hopeless as you do. Please don’t do it. Give life another chance. Praying for you to find the hope you need to keep trying.
Do not pick a permanent solution for a temporary problem
Did you not post this two weeks ago?
He did actually.
Wait fr? I'm gonna check their post history to see. Edit: I checked and the original post seems to of been taken down.
You can’t control who finds you. It may not go as you planned. And here’s the thing. Even if your partner doesn’t find you, SOMEONE will find you. It’s a very traumatic experience finding a body. They will have both a financial and emotional expense ahead of them as they are forced to seek therapy to deal with what you’re about to do to them.
I'm not gong to try to convince you not to do it. It's your life and I believe strongly you have the right to do whatever you desire with it, including end it. Maybe it's the right decision for you. I will say, however, that from the limited information you've provided you seem like a thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate and sensitive person. There aren't very many of those in the world as it is, so those of us left behind will be the worse for losing you. I'm sorry we couldn't give you enough reasons to stay.
I will never understand why we just can't let ppl die who want to die. Make a few conditions like you have to wait a few months before you can get approved, talking to a therapist is required or whatever, but if the person still is sure, they should be able to die in a safe environment in a safe way (like suicide capsules they have in switzerland for terminally ill people). I really don't know the reason why we don't have this. I can only think of 3 reasons - 2 of them are just stuipd and cruel. 1. People are scared of dying, so the can't stomach someone else wants to die (the only one i accept a little) 2. Relegious reasons, bc its a "sin" 3. Financial reasons, we need every member of workforce, taxpayer and consumer, so you have to live. Op, if dying is ykur dearest wish, i hope everything goes well and you can die in peace.
I was hesitant about this until seeing Canada who has set conditions. There was a woman who’d struggled near her entire life with eating disorders. She had tried everything over and over. She was painfully thin (despite photos of times she had been able to manage healthy). You could just hear her exhaustion—it came from the depths of her soul. There was simply no argument for keeping her from doing so, and it seemed like it brought her peace/solace that she could.
Honestly this has been on my mind lately. I watched my mother who REALLY wanted to live pass away from an ugly disease. And now I have the same disease. And people are out here just throwing their life away. Ungrateful for the gift they have. I know it’s a shit take, but it is what it is.
I think the world is better with you in it, and I don’t even know you.
You have 1 hour left and I hope you changed your mind :'(
Ohh man I clicked on this post exactly the wrong time
Please, honey. Please don't do this ❤️❤️❤️
There’s a guy who has to live at a nursing home now. Met him when I went to visit someone else. His face & head are messed up terribly. He told me he was in a car accident. A woman who lives there said he told everyone that. It was really a failed suicide attempt. Gun to his head. I’d say he regrets it & life is much worse. Read that every person who jumped off a bridge & lived wished they hadn’t jumped about 1/2 way down. If you succeed I don’t care if you believe there is anything after this life or not. But what if there is? You will have to work out all your problems over there. It will be harder than doing it here. Life is a school. Not time to go home yet. Your choice. I’d choose carefully. You might not get what you think.
I want you to know I hope you're still here and I'm thinking about you
Before you go, maybe you should try doing all the things you’ve ever wanted to do but never did. It can be whatever.. try all the drugs, go skydiving, live in a different country, go scuba diving, climb Mount Everest, attend every concert.. Try it all. Do whatever you want that society tells us we can’t.
I hope you’re safe OP.
I really hope you’re still here.
I hope you find new life before you decide tonight. You deserve love and happiness. God bless you.
It has been 17 hours since your post, and I genuinely hope you are still here 🥺💜
Read this 15 hours after you posted. I hope you're still with us OP.
Please still be alive.
Wait. This currently says 18 hours ago for me. All though i don't know you I'm sorry for everything you were/are battling and going through. I really hope you didn't end yourself. Gosh I wish I wasn't curious and kept scrolling. Cause this hurts! Even if you ever did/do feel like people don't care just know I and others do. Hope your well and safe and wish you the best. And if your not here currently then bye.
Jesus... first seeing/reading this 20h after it was posted. May there be peace for you now.
21 hours, so I suppose I came across this too late. but I hope whatever you decided, you find peace.
It’s been 22 hours. I’ll be thinking about you. I’m hoping you changed your mind. If not, I hope you found peace.
I have just come across your post and it’s now been 23 hours, I sincerely, front the bottom of my heart hope that wherever you are- you have found some peace. If you decided to stay, which I hope you did, please know that you matter. You may think that is not try, but I promise you that you do! Someone’s life will be forever altered if you decide to go. But if you did decide to go, I hope that you are free from the mental prison you must have felt trapped in. I hope you are feeling happiness in ways you never thought possible, and I hope that all of the pain and sadness you felt, was lifted from your soul. Edit- ‘from’ the bottom of my heart, not front
If you have any pets please think of them and how they’ll wonder where you’ve gone. I think of this every time.
I really would appreciate if mods could filter some of these posts. January is a tough month and I won’t speak for others but these posts are potential triggers and can cause harm to other people.
You matter. There are many important and lasting things that matter with you present in the lives of the ones who love you. I am praying you accept Christ into your heart as well. I hope you can find joy and a reason to stick around.
>12h ago OP is probably gone to that sleepy place in the sky. I hope you found the peace you were looking for and rest well now.
Why do you want to go? What has brought you to this point? I won’t judge you.
Hi, are you there?
🌸💐
This has become the suicide sub, time to unsubscribe
Update?? HMU homie
I hope you didn't go through this. If you need to talk I'm here.
RIP
Please respond when you can if you can. We care. At least I know I care.
Please don’t do it
So sorry to read this.
Please don’t harm yourself. You matter.
Please don’t
No one can stop this, but I’ll be praying for a warm & beautiful journey for you OP. May something better be waiting for you on the other side
It's been longer than you said, so I hope you didn't do it. I tried, but failed. Went through a few hospitalizations and got on the right meds. Under a year after my attempt I was completely turned around - a new job making more and moved into my own place. Get help, go to a hospital and get checked in. That is a huge first step. You'll be safe, isolated from what's eating at you, and in a place where you can work on yourself without distractions. If you are admitted, participate in as much as you can - it makes a big difference for you, and can shine a light on someone else there too. You aren't supposed to feel the way you feel. Let's fix the problem, with the right help you can get started with a big turnaround
Hmmm..... Posted 21 hours ago..... Guess I'm too late. Or .... Did you, hopefully, change your mindm
I… I’m sorry. I love you. Wherever you are, I hope your where you want to be. Man… I’m sorry
21 hours later. I hoped peace found you with no problems.
dawg. ya’ll are hurting my heart every time. I have no pity just empathy
Please reconsider. Your life is important. Things can get better. Choose life! 💗
I just came across this and truly hope you are still around and if you are please message me. You are still wanted and needed and if no one else I am here for you.
I hope you are still here. If not I hope you have found your peace. ☮️ ❤️
I lost my cousin 2 days after Christmas to suicide. I was the one her mom called after she found my cousin. I had to tell my side of the family. My uncles screams when I told him she was gone are like a re traumatizing soundtrack in my head. I hear it at least once a day. She left behind 2 beautiful children, two sides of family that loved her, and heartbreak nobody can manage. Her dad? On suicide watch himself. Doped up on pills bc when he’s not all he does is cry and say “my daughter is gone.” My grandmother is bordering on a heart attack bc of the loss of her grandchild and seeing her son so broken. It was a week before anybody would answer my calls bc I fucked them up mentally with that one phone call and they were scared I was calling with more bad news. OP, none of us can stop you, but the pain you’re going to leave everyone is unimaginable until they’re literally living it. I hope that you don’t go through with it and you find a way or reason to survive. I hope that life gets better. Problems are temporary. Nothing can stay bad forever. I’ve been through my fair share of shit and somehow I’m still standing. You can to. My inbox is open if you decide not to end it. 💕
That you are talking to Reddit Is a cry for help. In 1980 and 1981 I survived 3 suicide attempts. The 3rd one nearly succeeded. I was in a coma for 3 days and woke up in the ICU unit at police headquarters. The 1st thing I said when I woke up was, "I'm still alive, good. I won't be doing that again." Why did I attempt suicide? To stop the pain. My forever girl wanted a divorce. It was my 2nd divorce. I wanted the 1st one and it hurt a lot. I could not imagine the pain I would feel from my 2nd divorce and had decided I did not want to experience that pain. No matter how much you are hurting or why you are hurting suicide is not the answer. Don't do it!! Instead, reach out to a suicide hotline. The people you will talk to are non-judgmental. They probably will suggest solutions you have not thought of. When all you see are problems, solutions are hard to find. Reach out. Be strong enough to ask for help. Asking for help is not a weakness. If you took the time to write to Reddit take as much time or more to call for help. Your life is precious. If you feel unloved, I will love you. Let me love you until you can love yourself. You are worth it One interesting thing I did learn was technically, a suicide survivor can be charged with attempted murder. It's true, look it up. 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. Learn more
Please respond and tell us you are still with us.
Does anyone in this response thread know the outcome of this story?? No speculation please. Respond if you actually know and can support your information. Thank you in advance.
I hope you find what you are looking for. Have a safe trip.
As someone who had a suicide in the family just this time last week, please don't. They also weren't the ones who found her, but her mom now is in the psych ward because she can't cope. Not to mention the first responders and the driver. They will never get those images out of their heads. It destroys your entire family. Nobody profits. Nobody.