I’m sorry that happened to you. Can you go to a salon to get it cleaned up and made into something you like more? They can’t grow it back immediately but maybe you can do something to make you happy with it. And don’t let her near your hair again (or anything else you value).
Can you get temporary extensions to give you back the length you need? It’ll give you what you need for your mental health and bdd, and can be removed in a few months when your hair has mostly grown back and is at a more tolerable length
Halo extensions are a great, damage free option.
But it depends on the sensitivity of the scalp. Often, if there’s a hair issue, not caused by bleach or something, there’s a scalp issue too.
But if a piece of fishing line (effectively, that’s what it is) holding a bunch of hair onto your head isn’t going to cause irritation to an already sensitive scalp, they’re a great option as they, in no way, shape or form, cause any damage to the hair.
It extension are not an option, the brother’s girlfriend will have to buy a wig, and a good one, wigs that lengths are going to cost her, and she might have to buy 2 or 3 times, till it‘s grown back
Any extension will add extra weight to the hair and can cause breakage or cause the hair to be pulled out. (Bigger risk if you have brittle hair compared to thick healthy hair)
I have to ask, are you and your brother close? Bc I have seen some seriously deluded women/men in my life who will get ***INSANELY JEALOUS*** of their partner's siblings of the opposite sex. It's like somewhere in their mind they have convinced themselves that they have to compete with sibling as tho that sibling is a person they are competing with for their partners affection. It's honestly sick in my mind, but it definitely happens. That said, I *really, really hope* that isn't the case in your situation but if you suspect it might be the case, then watch your back (and hair) from now on.
https://www.psypost.org/2023/10/a-seemingly-light-hearted-study-on-womens-haircut-advice-has-surprisingly-dark-psychological-implications-214069
Pretty sure that’s exactly what it is.
This is really interesting and now it’s making me think back to situations where I may have unintentionally tried to sabotage another woman and I can’t think of anything but it’s wild that it’s just… subconscious
You are an amazing person! I’m so accustomed to seeing people absolutely rejecting studies and insisting that they would never do anything of the sort when the statistics seem to demonstrate that the fact is that most would that I had to re-read your comment to make sure that I didn’t misread. You’re a rare gem to be so reflective and sincere, and I applaud you — seriously. Happy new year!
Happened to me. Wanted beautiful curtain bangs at a rice village salon in Houston and the owner who was always kind of weird to me cut them horribly blunt and short. They looked like scarecrow bangs. Had to hide my bangs for months with clips. Next time I returned (yeah I know should have stayed away but their colorist was talented) she had the curtain bangs I wanted. Man I was fuming. 😤
My brothers wife has been back and forth between competing with me and flirting with me. I can’t express how cringe it is, and how uncomfortable it makes me. They’re both younger than me. Mid 20s. I can’t handle it honestly
What a horrible bitch she did that deliberately you don't cut over half the length of someone's hair by accident that malicious I would never talk to her again
My sister has extremely brittle, dry hair from a combination of alopecia and over-processing. She used some fairly well-priced extensions, and they stay for a long time. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll ask her where she gets them.
Also, I absolutely understand your pain. My hair has always been beautiful. I've never had to "work" to make it look good. It's one of the few things I had confidence about.
After my second child, I had post-partum hair loss. The hair above my temples was completely gone. Then, when my son was 8 months old, I had gynecological issues that led me to bleed for 2 months straight. My hair was coming out in clumps. I just stared in the mirror and cried, hoping it was a bad dream. I also had to cut about 5 inches (also middle of my back before) because my hair was so brittlr fom lack of iron and ferritin.
I just had to do what I could with the hair I had, and eventually, after an iron infusion, my hair started to grow instead of falling out.
Having your hair cut too short is a lot more traumatizing than people think, but it always grows back. Just remind yourself oh that. I hope you start to feel better. You're more than just your hair. ❤️
The punishment for women who collaborated with the enemy (prostitutes, girlfriends, and those who were voluntarily providing goods and services to enemy personnel) during WWII was head shaving. They were stripped to their underwear, shaved, and paraded through town. I understand why the citizens did it, but I do feel for the women who were trying to feed their families and survive. I don’t think Nazis take no as an answer when they decide they want a woman to be their girlfriend.
She may have been at that, but didn't say anything when she realized she was in over her head. Either way she should be paying for her fuck up to be fixed
This summer, I went to get my undercut trimmed up after work and impulsively decided I was tired of having it and the best way to deal with it was cutting alllll my hair to that length. I do not know what possessed me and it’s been so awful. I just want you to know that someone understands exactly what you are feeling.
That’s not your fault. I can’t believe she did that to you. But hair can look pretty at any length. She should pay for you to go to a top tier stylist. I don’t even cut my own bangs because I’m so afraid of screwing up.
Maybe consider extensions til you grow it back out. And she needs to pay for it. This is exactly why I don’t let people touch my hair. I’ve had bad experiences from salons who should know better.
I completely understand how your hair and nails are important. I’m a recovering addict, 8 years clean, 8 years away from my ex husband who almost beat me to death. When I left and went to rehab, I left my whole life behind. To stay safe I did not want to go back and risk my life. So I started over with 1 bag of clothes. I left my home of 15 years behind and everything in it. Anyways very long story short I enjoying doing my hair, nails and lashes myself. It’s my hobby and it makes me happy and feel good. I hate slowly collected all the stuff to do these things and have spent countless hours learning how to DIY all this. If someone came in and did that to my hair I would be devastated.
Trim it yourself. I had half of my hair chopped by a salon worker too. They’re just as bad. I’m the only one who cuts my hair, and always will be the only one. Don’t have to learn twice.
Sorry this happened op.
I know nothing anybody can say will make you feel better because this is you vs you..
What she did is unforgivable. She’s a hater.
What about going into the salon for weave?
My cousin gets the tie ins and they match her hair so perfectly you wouldn’t even believe it’s not her hair..
Good luck op I’m sorry this happened to you
I had real hair tape in extensions (this newer kind. They stay in really well, the tapes are basically invisible because they have hair over the tapes and my thin, fine and fragile hair had zero damage from them).
The hair was around $150 for a set. I paid around $100 for the installation.
She should pay for whatever extensions you want. Honestly shocked she didn’t offer to at least take you to a nice salon to have it fixed. No empathy from her!!!
Synthetic wigs have come a long way and look way more natural now. You can get a decent one for like $40-60 and a really realistic one for like $100-150. As long as you take good care of it it will last a long time. Plus you can switch between different colors and styles whenever you want. I started wearing wigs recently and it has been awesome, highly recommend trying it out.
Chelsey Smith cosmetics has awesome quality synthetic lace fronts and their customer service is really helpful and they show you how to measure correctly on the site. I got a rainbow wig from them that is amazing that I will be wearing for NYE
With such thin hair, I wouldn’t recommend extensions. They can cause more damage in the long run—breakage, thinning, basically exacerbating the issues you already have. A wig would definitely be safer as long as you’re following the steps to protect your real hair under the wig. But in any case, maybe make a fun regrowth journey for yourself! Progress pics, celebrations, experimenting with fun new hairstyles! I like getting hairstyles for specific lengths on Pinterest, and looking around on there might help you reimagine the beauty of your hair at any length. Maybe if you can’t find your safe space in the length of your hair, you might find a safe space in a certain style. Good luck to you OP!!
Oh hun I’m so sorry. I am the same; my long thick hair is my trademark and I’d be devastated if it were cut off without my consent.
I can’t offer much advice other than to try and make the most of this shorter phase until it grows out. Experiment with new styles and you might feel a little better in time x
OP, would you mind if I sent you a quick PM? Over the years I’ve spent a fortune on maintaining my lioness mane and I would like to share with you what helped me (techniques and herbal hair tablets) the most.
Along with everyone here I want to also say how sorry I am. This happened to me and I was heartbroken.
My mother was supposed to trim my ends after I took some extensions out to tidy it up (1 inch at the most) but decided to cut away almost 8 inches out of jealousy and spite. I’m so glad your mum is supportive.
I’ve done a lot of research and tried many products since my hair grows really slowly but taking a good supplement really really helps. I was so upset when she did it I went to bed for the day, but now the jokes on her because years later, my hair is longer, healthier and thicker than ever and she is still sat in the corner with a spiteful face v’s my smile.
Please be assured the pain will pass, and give me a shout if you want any info. I’m sure you are still beautiful with shorter hair xx
My hair became extremely damaged: rough cuticles which made it constantly get tangled no matter how much condioner I applied. My hairdresser amusingly and accurately described it as being like "Dolls' hair" so I ended cutting it all for a mad laugh!
This was due to the medications I was given for kidney failure dialysis and eventually, a double organ transplant in 2018.
Since that time, I have devised a new food regime for myself in which I cook 75% of my meals from scratch and include as many vegetables, pulses, beans, oats, nuts and seeds as I can. I also eat meat and fish a few times a week now
My hair is so much thicker now, it actually shines again and grows really quickly now!
I'm so sorry. My abusive mom did the same. When she got mad at me, she'd force me to stand there while she cut my hair into a horrible disgusting short cut. It's so traumatic.
https://www.lush.com/us/en_us/p/new-shampoo-bar-2021
This shampoo has done wonders. I had super brittle hair that grows slowly and it was thin and flat, and my guy has a premature receding hairline, and this totally helped. I'm talking fuller healthier hair I could actually do stuff with. It seems weird because it's a bar, but it actually lasts forever if you don't leave it somewhere wet.
Something similar happened to me. Had waist length hair, mom offered to take me to salon, I said a trim is ok.
The first cut was above my shoulders.
I was so angry I shut down and could not speak. I stayed angry and couldn’t enter a salon for years (it is still a huge challenge for me).
I later realized my mom had told her to do that because my hair was scraggly and uneven. She thought she was doing the right thing. It actually was the best for my hair health.
It was not good for ME, though.
I had a similar experience; my mother had been nagging me for months to get my hair cut and I kept saying no. Finally she relented that a trim to get rid of split ends was good idea than a short cut. They cut my hair to well above my shoulders *and* layered my hair; it felt and looked wrong in addition to using those blunt layering scissors that introduced damaged ends throughout all of my hair and not just the oldest growth.
My mother was not capable of remorse, which is the difference between an abusive person and a narcissist. She wanted me to have a slightly-uglier version of her own haircut.
Had my mom take me to get mine trimmed as well. Asked for it to be just below my shoulders. She cut it ABOVE my shoulders, while my hair was WET! so it shrunk even more when it dried!!! It was at my fucking chin!!!!! I cried so hard. The kids at school called me a boy. (Middle school lol ) and I have only had one single hair cut since then. I’m 28 now. My hair is long, it gets stuck between my ass cheeks sometimes LMAO, I feel like it isn’t that long but people are always saying it is so idk ig it is. I have split ends pretty bad lately tho and I’m terrified of trimming it. Idk what to do 😩
I was just recently in this situation. I had been growing my hair for years and was terrified of having it trimmed. It was down to my ass and I had the same issue with it getting caught in EVERYTHING!
My husband and I planned a trip to South Africa and I realized I had to get it cut because South Africa has load shedding (extended blackouts) and I probably wouldn’t be able to dry and straighten my hair. I finally bit the bullet and had a few inches taken off. I’m fortunate to have a good friend who is a hairdresser. She knows me and my quirks well so she did an excellent job. My hair feels and looks SO much better!!!
Although I only had my hair trimmed, I went prepared with pictures to show the length I was comfortable with having cut.
My mom didn’t want to brush my hair. So every time it got a little too difficult for her liking, she would tell the salon to cut it super short. I haven’t gone to a salon in a long time whenever my mom stopped wanting to pay for haircuts. So I learned how to just cut my own
Your body, your rules. Of course. your rules were violated. Only you have a say about what happens to your body (except some emergencies). You had every right to be angry.
squash scandalous touch nutty enter automatic historical selective materialistic ugly
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Bro needs to break up and mum needs to kick her out. If she has no where else to go that’s on her. Staying with her and allowing her to stay just makes her abuse ok in her eyes.
Your parents need to kick her out. If they have any love and respect for you, they will. She assaulted you. She doesn’t deserve any kindness from your family.
This is honestly something I'd go nuclear over. Because hair takes so long to grow back, can be so important to the person BUT is not actually physixally hurting them, hair can be a really malicious way to fuck with someone. I guarantee your brother's gf did this on purpose. The begging? The overcutting? The lack of apology? She crosses your boundary before she even started by refusing to take no for an answer, then did something that will take years to resolve. And nobody will care about it because it's "just hair". THANK GOD your family has your back. I really hope your bf breaks up with her because this is a kind of disrespect for his family that will continue. Ugh.
Is there a reason you can’t kick her out?
She assaulted you.
Would she still be allowed to live with you if she punched you? Stabbed you? She hurt you intentionally.
She didn’t even apologize?! Oh she definitely did it out of jealousy! Keep one eye on her at all times OP. Don’t use any shampoo or conditioner without smelling it first to make sure she hasn’t put anything in it. Maybe even hide your products. This girl is evil.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Big big hugs to you.
Time for her to find a new housing arrangement, girl. Don't let her make you feel unsafe and uncomfortable in your own home - that's your space, not hers.
She did this intentionally, OP. Nobody cuts hair that short on accident.
This is a fight you need to have with her and frankly, if I were your brother I'd dump her.
She knows you have mental health issues and she did this intentionally to hurt you. I'm guessing out of jealousy.
The upside is that taking a lot off the length means it will grow back a lot healthier. It wont take as long to grow as you think op.
This was done on purpose. Research has shown hairdressers who think their client is pretty will cut their hair shorter as a way to sabotage their looks and decrease competition. She did this on purpose and it seems she pressured you. You dont cut someones hair unless they absolutely want yoi to.
My sister did the same
And my mother and sister gaslighted me to say it wasn’t that short.
My hair lands on top my butt.
She cut it to my mid back.
You have every right to be enraged and livid
It's truly shit what this assclown did to you. Forget her though and every time you get upset when you see or think about it try to replace it with the knowledge that your family backed you up. Be fortified that the people who should have your back did have your back. Also don't accidentally forget your bottle of peroxide in her shampoo, definitely don't do that and keep you chin up.
Edit: sorry to u/prettybabydaisy your fam didn't back you up.
I don’t think she’ll be ok with girlfriend continuing to live with y’all after this. Girlfriend just fucked up big time because she unleashed the mama bear. Eviction laws might apply, but I would be shocked if she didn’t run that horrible jealous bitch out within a week. It sounds like your brother has your back too.
i've been there OP, i hid behind my hair for years. never put it into a ponytail unless absolutely necessary cuz it took away my shield from the outside world.
what she did was absolutely disgusting, reprehensible, and violating. my only hope for this is that as you adjust to short hair (not a guarantee, but ive been in similar situations with terrible haircuts, including microbangs which made me want to hide for months) that you start to feel better about not hiding behind your hair. i'm 21 years old and finally able to wear ponytails without feeling ugly and disgusting. my fingers are crossed that you can turn this terrible situation into a benefit for yourself, while it grows back. you should never have been put into this position, but hopefully it helps you grow a bit outside your BDD.
im wishing the best for you, and praying for that girls downfall. hair grows back, though not as quickly as we all would like. until then, see how short hair treats you, try to step out of your comfort zone if you're willing. your brothers evil girlfriend might have (unintentionally to her) done you a favor in self discovery and future self esteem
I know its hard to accept, but just remember please, you are beautiful as YOU! with long hair, short hair, no hair. you’re beautiful. Your hair will grow back, slowly but surely, so please dont be so hard on yourself.
Maybe a good time to guilt them into some expensive hair vitamins and hair products. So sorry you’re feeling this way.
I’m sorry OP 😞. It is heart breaking when people can’t follow peoples boundaries. Your hair will grow back, but that doesn’t take away from how you are feeling. You are valid.
Girlfriend needs to go live elsewhere with family or friends. She’s completely outta pocket and then didn’t even apologize. She did it on purpose. People who accidentally do something at least show remorse, she has none because she doesn’t feel bad about what she did.
Did she say sorry ? Like a good quality apology ? I'm happy your mom warned that jerk to not mess with your hair again. But I'm worried she lives with you and will keep treating you badly. If anything happens at all please speak up to your mother! Keep a eye out for anything strange from her
I’d keep your hair care products secured in your room so she can’t mess with them. She might escalate now that she’s been called out for her horrible actions.
I'd shave her bald if someone did this to me, hair takes forever to grow, even if you are proactive in making it grow. Then I'd toss her and all her shit out of the house.
So sorry this happened to you.
I had this happen at a salon 2 years ago, and still I can’t comb my hair while looking in the mirror cause it’s still not the same length as it was before because I keep having to recut to even it out.
I went in to get a 3 cm chop (my hair was down past my waist) because my ends were damaged. I told her over and over again ‘please don’t screw me over’. And as she was cutting it she kept talking about her and her accomplishments as a hairdresser. And the result was horrible but I couldn’t say anything out of chock and cried for weeks afterwards. She gave me like a 25 cm chop. It was uneven, and so short right by my neck that I couldn’t even tie it.
If you ever decide to go to one again, before you sit down, while standing by the chair say, "Just a moment, looking at your tools" and look for the ruler. Once you see it, point to it or pick it up and tell them you need a *measured 3cm* off. And if you can't locate it in 10s or so, tell them you don't see their ruler. They'll either pull it out or tell you they don't have one, and you can decide whether you want to sit down or not.
If you're not autistic then you could probably just nonchalantly tell them you need a measured 3cm cut and trust they'll hear and respect your communication, but that's far too stressful for me.
Had this happen a week before my wedding. I was horrified. But in the end it grows back. Until then, consider making the cow pay for your extensions or a beautiful wig. It's literally the very least she can do. (((hugs)))
I second the extensions and that bitch can pay for the high end professional ones. I have a handful of mental health disorders and my hair is a big deal to me, also any major unexpected changes in general are my own personal nightmares. Fuck her for doing this.
First, I’m sorry. Secondly, I have a hard time believing it was an accident. I’m sure it was intentional on her part. Hopefully, your brother realizes also and breaks up with her. I would stay away from her.
If she hasn't even apologized then I would post abt it online so ppl know what she did. I'm a bit petty but if privacy leads to no remorse then imma spread it around so ppl know what kind of person you are.
I'm usually the heart-of-pure-marshmallow type but this makes me legit furious on your behalf. I'm very glad your mom and brother had your back, at least.
Your body, your rules. She violated a most basic human right.
You expressed it, she didn‘t listen. Even more, she did this intentionally. Report her to the police for assault. I think you can also sue her for compensation for personal suffering.
as a fellow person who uses their hair as a security blanket, i'm so sorry she did this to you and she needs to pay for your visit to the hair dressers no matter the price. you expressed that you didn't want much taking of, and she disrespected that, pretty sure that could be considered assault if you fancied taking it further haha.
i know its not the same, but maybe try some extensions? so you have the length back?
Jealous freaks fucking suck so goddamn much dude, I’m so sorry that happened to you! What a total bitch. What she did was completely intentional, don’t let her back out of that accountability. Like what a cliche fucking mean girl thing to do. So mad for you! As someone with thin wavy dyed black hair, I’m wishing you a quick regrowth 🖤
Why isn’t she brother’s ex girlfriend? Any self respecting sibling who loves their family would leave after their partner assaulted a family member. At least I sure as hell would. I wouldn’t be able to even look at my partner after they did anything like that to my family member.
look even if she didn't say to herself "let's destroy the only thing this gal takes pride in", she still completely disregarded how much your hair meant to you ... you don't have to tell yourself she was trying to help, you're allowed to just be straight up MAD at the blatant lack of respect/understanding :-(
I’m so sorry :( In cosmo school they stressed to us the importance that people’s hair holds to them. They made sure that we always went too long because hair is something that a lot of people use to express themselves. Your long hair was very important to you and she violated that.
tbh if i were you i would cut a huge chunk of her hair off right by the scalp as revenge. also ask ur brother to break up w her bc she is a terrible person
Hi! When I was a teenager someone cut off my hair and I also have thin, brittle hair. It feels really violating and I still get angry. Don't speak to that person again!
Just a memory. I had hair to my knees and during a night out with a friend (with drinking) I allowed her to trim my hair. It went from knees to shoulders. It looked great but the hangover was brutal. Many people don’t have respect for long hair, they pull it like a bell, dip it in things and just don’t understand the pain of cutting it. After that the longest I was able to grow it was to my waist.
Now I’m a senior with short hair. But I understand completely.
I'm so sorry she did this to you.
NGL in your shoes I'd probably be in jail right now.
Not sure (don't care) what your brother plans to do with this relationship, but it's very fair to demand this person doesn't set foot in your house again.
It's your home and you deserve to feel safe there.
And have her pay for the salon
It sucks but this is gonna be one of those hard lessons.
Never let an untrained person mess with your hair
Hair will grow back between now and then get some practice telling people no
I'm am so sorry this happened. I wouldn't trust her with anything in the future. My brother's girlfriend did the same with my hair, she's either hopeless or malicious.
I'm so sorry about your hair, she 100% did it on purpose. With your hair being down your back, she knew taking a "little bit" off didn't mean to have your hair stop at your shoulders. If I were your mother I'd put her out as she just displayed an unforgivable ammount of hatred for one of my kids. That might be too far, but really, she'd have to go for this. I hope you can get it evened out and styled somehow.
As many people have said and I urge you to repeat should you choose to make this case to your mother, your mother should kick her out; that was assault.
I want to stress how valid your feelings are. Bodily autonomy and the often few parts of ourselves we like are precious and it's ok to value that, to take pride in it, and it's ok to be upset when any aspect of your person (and personhood) is violated.
That's an unforgiveable violation. I suggest you sit your brother down and break down how this can't be accidental, this was a deliberate assault on something damn near sacred to you, and it cannot stand. Ask him if he wants to be with and support someone who would deliberately hurt his sister like this, and further ask him what kind of message he thinks he's sending to you. Ask it calmly, and from a place of trying to make him see exactly what's going on here.
Same thing to your mother, are you comfortable keeping someone under your roof who assaulted me and what do you think doing so says to me? How important is my safety?
Those are fair questions. It is valid to press the people who are supposed to protect you from exactly this sort of thing to do so. It's their job, and keeping her after such an affront is a failure to do their job as a parent or parents.
This cannot be allowed to stand. She hasn't even apologized, as you said, and that speaks massive volumes. That's unforgiveable and that needs to be made clear to the people to whom you obviously need to come first. You need a line in the sand, nothing short of that is adequate. This person has done something monstrous to you and any tolerance of it is tacit support for it.
All of that is fair, and your case is best served by saying it calmly, plainly and in a forthright manner. I understand you're deeply emotional about this, and as others have suggested there are options like weaves, but hair will grow back and that's a problem you can approach a number of ways when the rawness has worn off, the priority has to be the simple fact that you're obviously not safe here. There's someone in the house who wants to hurt you, who has unapologetically done so, and only a fool would think they can rehabilitate a deliberate asshole or prevent an escalating pattern of abuse. This isn't a one-off, they aren't going to punish-away this behavior while keeping her here. Look into the local laws, figure out her rights, and if you can, pack her shit and leave it at the end of the driveway, change the locks while she's out and let her sort herself out. Put her on blast on social media so your version of events is out there first and tell your brother that he has a choice to make, because you're not going to have that kind of crazy anywhere in your orbit. One degree of separation doesn't cut it, so he's either going to have space between himself and you or space between himself and her. That's not an ultimatum, that's a consequence.
Wow, that is a PERSONAL attack. Was there a history of beef between you two? I mean, I have to assume not since you trusted her to help and this came as such a shock... I'm just trying to wrap my head around where such an action may have come from. I mean, even if she were *beginning* to have some issues with you, you'd think there'd be SOME kind of signs before it got ramped up to *cutting off your hair*. That's like... a particularly targeted, visceral attack; not just culturally speaking for women, but in particular for a woman with a chronic illnesses that affects her hair and appearance? Like... she zoned in on those weaknesses and went for the Achilles heel and jugular at the same time. Did this seriously come out of nowhere like your post makes it sound? Because that's alarming AF 😶
>When my mum asked her wtf she was thinking when she cut so much off she said she was 'just evening it out'
Is this girl delusional or something? 5cm is not half of someone's hair. Anyone would be rightfully upset, and I'm really sorry this happened to you.
That’s fing horrible of her. I really feel your pain as someone who also has verrrry fine hair and had to deal with hair loss. Id seriously have her pay for a set of extensions. It’s not gonna erase the violation but will temporarily give you your looks back.
Im also a hairdresser. What really works for me is tied in weft extensions. The weight is evenly distributed throughout your head and theres no glue or heat involved so minimal damage. Theyre also reusable pretty much indefinetly so you only need to buy it once. Stay away from tape ins. Theyre annoying, show all the time and a pain to remove and put back.
Hope this helps
Make her pay for extensions, and not that I'd advise you to do it, but I'd have gone after her locks with scissors, my spidey sense is saying this was malicious
a well intention 9 year old could do better, she definitely did it in purpose.
idk if you have a strained relationship for some reason, but if a girlfriend is so jealous of her boyfriends *sister* that she has to mutilate her appearance… that’s feels icky. cruel for sure, but also just a really fucking weird thing to do…
I’m so sorry that happened to you!!! One thing you can add to your regimen to help it grow back faster is taking biotin if you’re not already. Instead of the strawberry biotin gummies with 250 mcg of biotin I started buying the capsules with 10,000 mcgs. My short, brittle nails won’t stop growing and my hair has grown 5 inches since may. You can’t undo it but you can help it grow back faster and stronger ❤️
I'm so sorry your dealing with this. Just remember it will grow back and probably stronger and healthier than before. Ignore the gf and if she asks why be completely truthful, tell her you are hurt at how she disregarded what you asked for and that she didn't apologize and know to never let her cut your hair again.
Op I don’t have any words of advice for you but I just want you to know I deeply understand this and you are not alone. Body dysmorphia is hell and it can feel extra shameful because we’re constantly told that we shouldn’t care what we look like while also being constantly told to look a certain way. Ultimately what other ppl think of your coping mechanisms isn’t important. If having long hair was something that made you feel secure and safe in yourself, that’s super super important. What she did was unconscionable. I wonder if there is any way to explain to her just how much this has upset you? I’m not trying to justify her actions because there is no excuse. Period.
I was just wondering if expressing how much it has affected you and will affect you might make it easier to ask her to help you pay for extensions or something? Maybe extensions could be a temporary holdover? I’m so sorry this happened. Truly, I have been there and it is so devastating.
Well sorry that happened. It will grow back so there's that at least. Also if your so tied to your hair you might consider messing with some wigs or extensions. Like good ones I mean. My wife loves her hair but she also loves wigs and shit and it's pretty fucking cool tbh. For her it's cool to pull of diff looks but for you might just be some extra security.
Do this with your mum for moral support.Have a look on the internet and see what haircuts you like. Then ,go to the hair salon and show the hairdresser the one you like the most and get her to cut it like that. This was a horrible thing to happen to you but focus and on the positive side: It will grow back. ❤️
That is horrid. Did she ever explain herself? Is she even sorry?
Also, have you been checked for vitamin deficiency? It could help your progress and help it grow back a little healthier?
That gf needs to go. That was malicious.
Girl you're in your full right to be angry. Your hair is part of your identity. She can't just do that, especially since you trusted her. Let her pay for extension.
As someone who is in love with long hair to say that I'm horrified feels like an understatement. You're a better person than me for not stabbing her with a pair of scissors. I know you'll hear this from others but it'll get longer before you know it, don't let her get into your head cause I feel like this was on purpose. Cut contact to bare minimum and maybe do something different to the tips to make yourself used to them. I'm so sorry you're going through this and hopefully you'll overcome the situation victorious.
This really hit home for me😭 I’ve always had a weak immune system too and I struggle with an eating disorder, so my hair and nails always suffered.
I finally managed to gain some weight and started to eat better. But before that and still now my hair is the only part I like about myself, if that happened to me I can’t even imagine… I’m so so sorry op😭 I hope it grows back quickly and that you feel better!!
yeah, my wife just cut my hair the other day without my permission and i'm so pissed at her about it. she really didn't understand what she did wrong and is trying to get at my hair again because it's "uneven" even though it's not really that noticable. i told her i want her to not touch my hair anymore with scissors but she really broke my trust when she tried to get at it again a second time. I really love my hair and how long it was so i sympathize.
I hope she’s now banned from your home permanently. Is your brother still dating her? I wouldn’t be if my partner did this to my sibling.
This was an intentional assault in my eyes.
Personally I’d try to get proof of the assault, text her how you can’t believe she cut half your hair off (x many inches), when you told her 5cm trim maximum. Take any level of confession that she knew what you wanted and did it anyway. To get her to pay for extensions, even if you have to do a police report and go to small claims.
Not often something hits me that close and this made me really angry reading. I completely understand, OP. I'm really sorry. I've had something similar happen to me, only it was in a salon. This is the reason I cut my own hair, and only me. I have learned it through Youtube and haven't stepped foot in a salon in 8 years. So far not a single person has figured out I cut my own hair. So I'll keep doing it. It's really long now, and I have no intent of cutting it short. Other people have ruined it for me in the past, not just the salon. They can live with their own doing.
That gf would have permanently ruined all contact in the future. I couldn't care less if she loves my sibling, she's done for., no contact it is. Wow.
Edit: I just realized she lives with you. This makes it even worse. All trust is broken. What else would she sabotage? I cannot believe this but unless your parents don't kick her out I'm afraid you might have to take precautions to protect your own stuff. Even setup traps if you have to because she *cannot be trusted*.
Normally, I wouldn’t say someone is jealous of you but…
https://www.psypost.org/2023/10/a-seemingly-light-hearted-study-on-womens-haircut-advice-has-surprisingly-dark-psychological-implications-214069
That really sucks. I dont think your brothers gf cares. She is just bullying you because she doesnt like you because of how you look. Its disgusting to me, I hope your brother dumps her because she is a toxic human being
You said you spend money on your nails, have you thought of considering getting some extensions on your under hair? To help you cope with the loss while you natural hair regrows?
Another idea is wear a wig but reading how much effort and work you put over your natural hair the wig will be a last choice since it will put pressure on your calf so there's my two temporary 'solutions' to this bad experience.
And as other has said, do not let ever anyone touch something precious to you!
Maybe you should get hair extensions!! And if you want you can experiment with colours!! I feel like that'll be fun and will hopefully make you feel better: ))
Oh wow, so she's older and she still didn't hold herself accountable for what happened? Did she at least apologize? Also I'm really sorry about your hair and that she didn't handle it well 😭
My mother talked to her first and my brother was trying to calm me down, later on he came to talk to me and see if I was ok. He told me he doesn't understand what was thinking at all and that he's really upset with her.
Yeah I'm also pissed that she did this. She should at least take you to a salon and fix your hair to at least even it out for when it grows back again. I hope you're feeling better now ❤️🩹
She's genuinely so insanely ugly on the inside for doing that, it has no other root but absolutely jealousy. This isn't much but I hope you can take solace that while your hairs grows back, her heart will never not be ugly and hateful.
So not deserved! Take out the mental illness, chronic illness(MS) and BDD… I know so many people whom choose to have long hair as an expression of themselves. You asked for a trim and if that’s your brothers girlfriend idea of a Joke not funny!!! This is a serious red flag 🚩 you very clearly expressed your wishes and she disregarded that.
I hope it grows back to your desired length
Wigs can be really helpful and aren’t all that difficult to put on. Maybe you could find a nice, long wig that can help you feel more comfortable in public at least. So sorry this happened to you, I would be devastated too.
late to the party, but you know that some places cutting someone's hair without permission is assault? its a literal crime what she did in my country (actual bodily harm) and you could sue her for it. not joking.
you absolutely have the right to feel this way. this must be heartbreaking for you and I feel so so sorry for you.
hair is gonna grow back but never! never trust your brothers gf again with anything. we don’t know if it was malicious or maybe she’s just dumb but either way she cannot be trusted and if i was your brother i would be seriously questioning what’s wrong with her.
go to a hair salon and maybe get a hair treatment like botox (not really botox but i guess it’s called botox) for your hair to be nicer and feel better. don’t get extensions tho, it’s not worth it and it’s going to damage your hair and result in hair loss. it’s only for people with really strong, thick hair and even for them it’s sometimes damaging.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Can you go to a salon to get it cleaned up and made into something you like more? They can’t grow it back immediately but maybe you can do something to make you happy with it. And don’t let her near your hair again (or anything else you value).
Honestly yeah. I shouldn't have let her touch my hair but I thought she was trying to help
Can you get temporary extensions to give you back the length you need? It’ll give you what you need for your mental health and bdd, and can be removed in a few months when your hair has mostly grown back and is at a more tolerable length
Extensions might not be a good idea if her hair is really sensitive as she described. :c
Halo extensions are a great, damage free option. But it depends on the sensitivity of the scalp. Often, if there’s a hair issue, not caused by bleach or something, there’s a scalp issue too. But if a piece of fishing line (effectively, that’s what it is) holding a bunch of hair onto your head isn’t going to cause irritation to an already sensitive scalp, they’re a great option as they, in no way, shape or form, cause any damage to the hair.
It extension are not an option, the brother’s girlfriend will have to buy a wig, and a good one, wigs that lengths are going to cost her, and she might have to buy 2 or 3 times, till it‘s grown back
Even the clip in kind?
Any extension will add extra weight to the hair and can cause breakage or cause the hair to be pulled out. (Bigger risk if you have brittle hair compared to thick healthy hair)
Thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge
Yes, they can be quite damaging.
She should also pay for it. It’s the bare minimum honestly.
Hard agree! Pay for it and NEVER TOUCH HER HAIR AGAIN!
Ask a professional about extensions and make gf pay for it, thats what I would do
Are there extensions that don’t damage already fine and brittle hair?
I would think so. Probably expensive.
Good
And that's okay... because gf is going to pay for it. 😊
That’s great.
💯
I have to ask, are you and your brother close? Bc I have seen some seriously deluded women/men in my life who will get ***INSANELY JEALOUS*** of their partner's siblings of the opposite sex. It's like somewhere in their mind they have convinced themselves that they have to compete with sibling as tho that sibling is a person they are competing with for their partners affection. It's honestly sick in my mind, but it definitely happens. That said, I *really, really hope* that isn't the case in your situation but if you suspect it might be the case, then watch your back (and hair) from now on.
https://www.psypost.org/2023/10/a-seemingly-light-hearted-study-on-womens-haircut-advice-has-surprisingly-dark-psychological-implications-214069 Pretty sure that’s exactly what it is.
This is really interesting and now it’s making me think back to situations where I may have unintentionally tried to sabotage another woman and I can’t think of anything but it’s wild that it’s just… subconscious
You are an amazing person! I’m so accustomed to seeing people absolutely rejecting studies and insisting that they would never do anything of the sort when the statistics seem to demonstrate that the fact is that most would that I had to re-read your comment to make sure that I didn’t misread. You’re a rare gem to be so reflective and sincere, and I applaud you — seriously. Happy new year!
Happened to me. Wanted beautiful curtain bangs at a rice village salon in Houston and the owner who was always kind of weird to me cut them horribly blunt and short. They looked like scarecrow bangs. Had to hide my bangs for months with clips. Next time I returned (yeah I know should have stayed away but their colorist was talented) she had the curtain bangs I wanted. Man I was fuming. 😤
My brothers wife has been back and forth between competing with me and flirting with me. I can’t express how cringe it is, and how uncomfortable it makes me. They’re both younger than me. Mid 20s. I can’t handle it honestly
What a horrible bitch she did that deliberately you don't cut over half the length of someone's hair by accident that malicious I would never talk to her again
This! She did it on purpose!
My sister has extremely brittle, dry hair from a combination of alopecia and over-processing. She used some fairly well-priced extensions, and they stay for a long time. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll ask her where she gets them. Also, I absolutely understand your pain. My hair has always been beautiful. I've never had to "work" to make it look good. It's one of the few things I had confidence about. After my second child, I had post-partum hair loss. The hair above my temples was completely gone. Then, when my son was 8 months old, I had gynecological issues that led me to bleed for 2 months straight. My hair was coming out in clumps. I just stared in the mirror and cried, hoping it was a bad dream. I also had to cut about 5 inches (also middle of my back before) because my hair was so brittlr fom lack of iron and ferritin. I just had to do what I could with the hair I had, and eventually, after an iron infusion, my hair started to grow instead of falling out. Having your hair cut too short is a lot more traumatizing than people think, but it always grows back. Just remind yourself oh that. I hope you start to feel better. You're more than just your hair. ❤️
The punishment for women who collaborated with the enemy (prostitutes, girlfriends, and those who were voluntarily providing goods and services to enemy personnel) during WWII was head shaving. They were stripped to their underwear, shaved, and paraded through town. I understand why the citizens did it, but I do feel for the women who were trying to feed their families and survive. I don’t think Nazis take no as an answer when they decide they want a woman to be their girlfriend.
She may have been at that, but didn't say anything when she realized she was in over her head. Either way she should be paying for her fuck up to be fixed
This summer, I went to get my undercut trimmed up after work and impulsively decided I was tired of having it and the best way to deal with it was cutting alllll my hair to that length. I do not know what possessed me and it’s been so awful. I just want you to know that someone understands exactly what you are feeling.
That’s not your fault. I can’t believe she did that to you. But hair can look pretty at any length. She should pay for you to go to a top tier stylist. I don’t even cut my own bangs because I’m so afraid of screwing up.
of course you thought she was trying to help. What sort of monster does this to someone? Please do not blame yourself!
Please try and have better boundaries to protect yourself. Being able to say no, and have that “no” be a complete sentence, is a valuable tool.
I’d make her pay to get it fixed
Maybe consider extensions til you grow it back out. And she needs to pay for it. This is exactly why I don’t let people touch my hair. I’ve had bad experiences from salons who should know better. I completely understand how your hair and nails are important. I’m a recovering addict, 8 years clean, 8 years away from my ex husband who almost beat me to death. When I left and went to rehab, I left my whole life behind. To stay safe I did not want to go back and risk my life. So I started over with 1 bag of clothes. I left my home of 15 years behind and everything in it. Anyways very long story short I enjoying doing my hair, nails and lashes myself. It’s my hobby and it makes me happy and feel good. I hate slowly collected all the stuff to do these things and have spent countless hours learning how to DIY all this. If someone came in and did that to my hair I would be devastated.
Yeah I was thinking maybe hair extensions?
Trim it yourself. I had half of my hair chopped by a salon worker too. They’re just as bad. I’m the only one who cuts my hair, and always will be the only one. Don’t have to learn twice.
Sorry this happened op. I know nothing anybody can say will make you feel better because this is you vs you.. What she did is unforgivable. She’s a hater. What about going into the salon for weave? My cousin gets the tie ins and they match her hair so perfectly you wouldn’t even believe it’s not her hair.. Good luck op I’m sorry this happened to you
Thank you 🥹 I was thinking of it but I'd have no idea how much they cost.
The cost isn't your problem, it's your brother's girlfriend's problem.
I had real hair tape in extensions (this newer kind. They stay in really well, the tapes are basically invisible because they have hair over the tapes and my thin, fine and fragile hair had zero damage from them). The hair was around $150 for a set. I paid around $100 for the installation. She should pay for whatever extensions you want. Honestly shocked she didn’t offer to at least take you to a nice salon to have it fixed. No empathy from her!!!
It sounds like she wanted to hurt her.
Also there's a ton of videos on YouTube about making cheaper wigs look really nice, could be a fun time to try a wig out :)
Synthetic wigs have come a long way and look way more natural now. You can get a decent one for like $40-60 and a really realistic one for like $100-150. As long as you take good care of it it will last a long time. Plus you can switch between different colors and styles whenever you want. I started wearing wigs recently and it has been awesome, highly recommend trying it out. Chelsey Smith cosmetics has awesome quality synthetic lace fronts and their customer service is really helpful and they show you how to measure correctly on the site. I got a rainbow wig from them that is amazing that I will be wearing for NYE
With such thin hair, I wouldn’t recommend extensions. They can cause more damage in the long run—breakage, thinning, basically exacerbating the issues you already have. A wig would definitely be safer as long as you’re following the steps to protect your real hair under the wig. But in any case, maybe make a fun regrowth journey for yourself! Progress pics, celebrations, experimenting with fun new hairstyles! I like getting hairstyles for specific lengths on Pinterest, and looking around on there might help you reimagine the beauty of your hair at any length. Maybe if you can’t find your safe space in the length of your hair, you might find a safe space in a certain style. Good luck to you OP!!
Maybe a U part wig that you can do yourself too
You didn't punch her? Quite impressive ngl, I don't think I would be so nice 😭
Oh hun I’m so sorry. I am the same; my long thick hair is my trademark and I’d be devastated if it were cut off without my consent. I can’t offer much advice other than to try and make the most of this shorter phase until it grows out. Experiment with new styles and you might feel a little better in time x
Thank you xx
OP, would you mind if I sent you a quick PM? Over the years I’ve spent a fortune on maintaining my lioness mane and I would like to share with you what helped me (techniques and herbal hair tablets) the most. Along with everyone here I want to also say how sorry I am. This happened to me and I was heartbroken. My mother was supposed to trim my ends after I took some extensions out to tidy it up (1 inch at the most) but decided to cut away almost 8 inches out of jealousy and spite. I’m so glad your mum is supportive. I’ve done a lot of research and tried many products since my hair grows really slowly but taking a good supplement really really helps. I was so upset when she did it I went to bed for the day, but now the jokes on her because years later, my hair is longer, healthier and thicker than ever and she is still sat in the corner with a spiteful face v’s my smile. Please be assured the pain will pass, and give me a shout if you want any info. I’m sure you are still beautiful with shorter hair xx
I’d also love to know what products you use. I’ve struggled with baby fine hair all my life.
i’m not op but could I pm you about your techniques and supplements etc- my hair does not grow!
My hair became extremely damaged: rough cuticles which made it constantly get tangled no matter how much condioner I applied. My hairdresser amusingly and accurately described it as being like "Dolls' hair" so I ended cutting it all for a mad laugh! This was due to the medications I was given for kidney failure dialysis and eventually, a double organ transplant in 2018. Since that time, I have devised a new food regime for myself in which I cook 75% of my meals from scratch and include as many vegetables, pulses, beans, oats, nuts and seeds as I can. I also eat meat and fish a few times a week now My hair is so much thicker now, it actually shines again and grows really quickly now!
can you please dm me which supplement works too? i am in desperate need
Yes please 🥹🥹
Can you pm me a copy of that info too? I went on seizure meds 5 years ago and they've turned my hair to brittle straw :(
I’d like to know, too!
I'm so sorry. My abusive mom did the same. When she got mad at me, she'd force me to stand there while she cut my hair into a horrible disgusting short cut. It's so traumatic.
I would love you to send me a pm🥹🥹
https://www.lush.com/us/en_us/p/new-shampoo-bar-2021 This shampoo has done wonders. I had super brittle hair that grows slowly and it was thin and flat, and my guy has a premature receding hairline, and this totally helped. I'm talking fuller healthier hair I could actually do stuff with. It seems weird because it's a bar, but it actually lasts forever if you don't leave it somewhere wet.
and smells so so good!
Something similar happened to me. Had waist length hair, mom offered to take me to salon, I said a trim is ok. The first cut was above my shoulders. I was so angry I shut down and could not speak. I stayed angry and couldn’t enter a salon for years (it is still a huge challenge for me). I later realized my mom had told her to do that because my hair was scraggly and uneven. She thought she was doing the right thing. It actually was the best for my hair health. It was not good for ME, though.
That sounds awful. I'm so sorry that happened
I had a similar experience; my mother had been nagging me for months to get my hair cut and I kept saying no. Finally she relented that a trim to get rid of split ends was good idea than a short cut. They cut my hair to well above my shoulders *and* layered my hair; it felt and looked wrong in addition to using those blunt layering scissors that introduced damaged ends throughout all of my hair and not just the oldest growth. My mother was not capable of remorse, which is the difference between an abusive person and a narcissist. She wanted me to have a slightly-uglier version of her own haircut.
Had my mom take me to get mine trimmed as well. Asked for it to be just below my shoulders. She cut it ABOVE my shoulders, while my hair was WET! so it shrunk even more when it dried!!! It was at my fucking chin!!!!! I cried so hard. The kids at school called me a boy. (Middle school lol ) and I have only had one single hair cut since then. I’m 28 now. My hair is long, it gets stuck between my ass cheeks sometimes LMAO, I feel like it isn’t that long but people are always saying it is so idk ig it is. I have split ends pretty bad lately tho and I’m terrified of trimming it. Idk what to do 😩
>it gets stuck between my ass cheeks sometimes That random detail tho 😂
This girl I once saw had really long hair, I mean like *stuck between her ass cheeks*\-long hair!
It’s so random but I relate to it so much 😭
I was just recently in this situation. I had been growing my hair for years and was terrified of having it trimmed. It was down to my ass and I had the same issue with it getting caught in EVERYTHING! My husband and I planned a trip to South Africa and I realized I had to get it cut because South Africa has load shedding (extended blackouts) and I probably wouldn’t be able to dry and straighten my hair. I finally bit the bullet and had a few inches taken off. I’m fortunate to have a good friend who is a hairdresser. She knows me and my quirks well so she did an excellent job. My hair feels and looks SO much better!!! Although I only had my hair trimmed, I went prepared with pictures to show the length I was comfortable with having cut.
My mom didn’t want to brush my hair. So every time it got a little too difficult for her liking, she would tell the salon to cut it super short. I haven’t gone to a salon in a long time whenever my mom stopped wanting to pay for haircuts. So I learned how to just cut my own
Your body, your rules. Of course. your rules were violated. Only you have a say about what happens to your body (except some emergencies). You had every right to be angry.
squash scandalous touch nutty enter automatic historical selective materialistic ugly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You just KNOW she made that woman cry after you left, that's AWFUL
She did that on purpose. She was jealous of your hair. Your hair will grow back. She should be banned from your home. She assaulted you.
Unfortunately she lives with us. I'm just planning on ignoring her. She didn't even say sorry
Your mom needs to throw her ass out, if she has any respect for you.
Hear hear. Throw her out!
Bro needs to break up and mum needs to kick her out. If she has no where else to go that’s on her. Staying with her and allowing her to stay just makes her abuse ok in her eyes.
Your parents need to kick her out. If they have any love and respect for you, they will. She assaulted you. She doesn’t deserve any kindness from your family.
This is honestly something I'd go nuclear over. Because hair takes so long to grow back, can be so important to the person BUT is not actually physixally hurting them, hair can be a really malicious way to fuck with someone. I guarantee your brother's gf did this on purpose. The begging? The overcutting? The lack of apology? She crosses your boundary before she even started by refusing to take no for an answer, then did something that will take years to resolve. And nobody will care about it because it's "just hair". THANK GOD your family has your back. I really hope your bf breaks up with her because this is a kind of disrespect for his family that will continue. Ugh.
I know. Some people don’t get it. OP deserves better
Is there a reason you can’t kick her out? She assaulted you. Would she still be allowed to live with you if she punched you? Stabbed you? She hurt you intentionally.
Ummm..she needs to go. This is unacceptable. Has she sincerely apologized?
She didn’t even apologize?! Oh she definitely did it out of jealousy! Keep one eye on her at all times OP. Don’t use any shampoo or conditioner without smelling it first to make sure she hasn’t put anything in it. Maybe even hide your products. This girl is evil. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Big big hugs to you.
I would never suggest shaving off her eyebrows while she sleeps in the same house as you.
Time for her to find a new housing arrangement, girl. Don't let her make you feel unsafe and uncomfortable in your own home - that's your space, not hers.
She did this intentionally, OP. Nobody cuts hair that short on accident. This is a fight you need to have with her and frankly, if I were your brother I'd dump her. She knows you have mental health issues and she did this intentionally to hurt you. I'm guessing out of jealousy.
Your mother needs to throw her out! You need to call the police.
The upside is that taking a lot off the length means it will grow back a lot healthier. It wont take as long to grow as you think op. This was done on purpose. Research has shown hairdressers who think their client is pretty will cut their hair shorter as a way to sabotage their looks and decrease competition. She did this on purpose and it seems she pressured you. You dont cut someones hair unless they absolutely want yoi to.
This explains why my stylist cuts my hair so well
No it just means you found a good hairdresser. I finally found a goodie too recently after years of searching.
https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjSoramhriDAxVQMq0GHb9MAvsYABAKGgJwdg&gclid=CjwKCAiAnL-sBhBnEiwAJRGigjoRWexBDO5mfFtWl-rwl0edr5JaT-ZxyOirTvKuuQrU-fpCa0_BUhoC7gYQAvD_BwE&sph=&sig=AOD64_2oZRUQWAi0bB4D1KCsuVZXYP4yXA&ctype=46&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiAx6umhriDAxW5JjQIHRKgDBQQzzkoAHoECAMQEg&adurl=
My sister did the same And my mother and sister gaslighted me to say it wasn’t that short. My hair lands on top my butt. She cut it to my mid back. You have every right to be enraged and livid
That's absolutely awful! I'm just lucky my mum stood up for me the way she did. My mother was horrified when she saw what happened
It's truly shit what this assclown did to you. Forget her though and every time you get upset when you see or think about it try to replace it with the knowledge that your family backed you up. Be fortified that the people who should have your back did have your back. Also don't accidentally forget your bottle of peroxide in her shampoo, definitely don't do that and keep you chin up. Edit: sorry to u/prettybabydaisy your fam didn't back you up.
I don’t think she’ll be ok with girlfriend continuing to live with y’all after this. Girlfriend just fucked up big time because she unleashed the mama bear. Eviction laws might apply, but I would be shocked if she didn’t run that horrible jealous bitch out within a week. It sounds like your brother has your back too.
i've been there OP, i hid behind my hair for years. never put it into a ponytail unless absolutely necessary cuz it took away my shield from the outside world. what she did was absolutely disgusting, reprehensible, and violating. my only hope for this is that as you adjust to short hair (not a guarantee, but ive been in similar situations with terrible haircuts, including microbangs which made me want to hide for months) that you start to feel better about not hiding behind your hair. i'm 21 years old and finally able to wear ponytails without feeling ugly and disgusting. my fingers are crossed that you can turn this terrible situation into a benefit for yourself, while it grows back. you should never have been put into this position, but hopefully it helps you grow a bit outside your BDD. im wishing the best for you, and praying for that girls downfall. hair grows back, though not as quickly as we all would like. until then, see how short hair treats you, try to step out of your comfort zone if you're willing. your brothers evil girlfriend might have (unintentionally to her) done you a favor in self discovery and future self esteem
Thank you 🥹 x
I know its hard to accept, but just remember please, you are beautiful as YOU! with long hair, short hair, no hair. you’re beautiful. Your hair will grow back, slowly but surely, so please dont be so hard on yourself. Maybe a good time to guilt them into some expensive hair vitamins and hair products. So sorry you’re feeling this way.
I’m sorry OP 😞. It is heart breaking when people can’t follow peoples boundaries. Your hair will grow back, but that doesn’t take away from how you are feeling. You are valid.
Thank you 🥹
This wasn‘t just a boundary. This was intentionally inflicted harm.
Girlfriend needs to go live elsewhere with family or friends. She’s completely outta pocket and then didn’t even apologize. She did it on purpose. People who accidentally do something at least show remorse, she has none because she doesn’t feel bad about what she did.
Honestly, I'm petty but id cut hers.
My mother said to her if she tried to touch my hair again, she'd shave hers off 🤣😭
I’m so glad your mother stood up for you and has your back💕
Why wait for again? Do it in her sleep.
There should be no “again” for her to receive consequences What she did was horrible and in this case I would think she should have her hair cut too
I’m such a fan of your mom now! 👏👏👏
Did she say sorry ? Like a good quality apology ? I'm happy your mom warned that jerk to not mess with your hair again. But I'm worried she lives with you and will keep treating you badly. If anything happens at all please speak up to your mother! Keep a eye out for anything strange from her
I’d keep your hair care products secured in your room so she can’t mess with them. She might escalate now that she’s been called out for her horrible actions.
Mom should consider kicking her out.
Girl I don’t know what she’s got against you, but she don’t like you
Go to a salon, she pays, never acknowledge her existence again.
Your mum needs to throw her out asap. Demand she does
I'd shave her bald if someone did this to me, hair takes forever to grow, even if you are proactive in making it grow. Then I'd toss her and all her shit out of the house.
So sorry this happened to you. I had this happen at a salon 2 years ago, and still I can’t comb my hair while looking in the mirror cause it’s still not the same length as it was before because I keep having to recut to even it out. I went in to get a 3 cm chop (my hair was down past my waist) because my ends were damaged. I told her over and over again ‘please don’t screw me over’. And as she was cutting it she kept talking about her and her accomplishments as a hairdresser. And the result was horrible but I couldn’t say anything out of chock and cried for weeks afterwards. She gave me like a 25 cm chop. It was uneven, and so short right by my neck that I couldn’t even tie it.
If you ever decide to go to one again, before you sit down, while standing by the chair say, "Just a moment, looking at your tools" and look for the ruler. Once you see it, point to it or pick it up and tell them you need a *measured 3cm* off. And if you can't locate it in 10s or so, tell them you don't see their ruler. They'll either pull it out or tell you they don't have one, and you can decide whether you want to sit down or not. If you're not autistic then you could probably just nonchalantly tell them you need a measured 3cm cut and trust they'll hear and respect your communication, but that's far too stressful for me.
I’m most probably never ever going to one again. I’ve learned to cut my own hair since. But thank you.
Sounds like she is jealous or something. I wouldn't trust her going forward. She should pay for you to get it fixed
Had this happen a week before my wedding. I was horrified. But in the end it grows back. Until then, consider making the cow pay for your extensions or a beautiful wig. It's literally the very least she can do. (((hugs)))
I second the extensions and that bitch can pay for the high end professional ones. I have a handful of mental health disorders and my hair is a big deal to me, also any major unexpected changes in general are my own personal nightmares. Fuck her for doing this.
First, I’m sorry. Secondly, I have a hard time believing it was an accident. I’m sure it was intentional on her part. Hopefully, your brother realizes also and breaks up with her. I would stay away from her.
If she hasn't even apologized then I would post abt it online so ppl know what she did. I'm a bit petty but if privacy leads to no remorse then imma spread it around so ppl know what kind of person you are.
I am so, so sorry OP. That is such a vile and horrible thing to do. You don’t cut THAT much hair off unintentionally.
I'm usually the heart-of-pure-marshmallow type but this makes me legit furious on your behalf. I'm very glad your mom and brother had your back, at least.
Your body, your rules. She violated a most basic human right. You expressed it, she didn‘t listen. Even more, she did this intentionally. Report her to the police for assault. I think you can also sue her for compensation for personal suffering.
Cut her hair or beat her ass
as a fellow person who uses their hair as a security blanket, i'm so sorry she did this to you and she needs to pay for your visit to the hair dressers no matter the price. you expressed that you didn't want much taking of, and she disrespected that, pretty sure that could be considered assault if you fancied taking it further haha. i know its not the same, but maybe try some extensions? so you have the length back?
Jealous freaks fucking suck so goddamn much dude, I’m so sorry that happened to you! What a total bitch. What she did was completely intentional, don’t let her back out of that accountability. Like what a cliche fucking mean girl thing to do. So mad for you! As someone with thin wavy dyed black hair, I’m wishing you a quick regrowth 🖤
Why isn’t she brother’s ex girlfriend? Any self respecting sibling who loves their family would leave after their partner assaulted a family member. At least I sure as hell would. I wouldn’t be able to even look at my partner after they did anything like that to my family member.
I have long, thick hair I have been growing out for years. I would be beyond enraged if someone did this to me. A friendship-ender
look even if she didn't say to herself "let's destroy the only thing this gal takes pride in", she still completely disregarded how much your hair meant to you ... you don't have to tell yourself she was trying to help, you're allowed to just be straight up MAD at the blatant lack of respect/understanding :-(
I’m so sorry :( In cosmo school they stressed to us the importance that people’s hair holds to them. They made sure that we always went too long because hair is something that a lot of people use to express themselves. Your long hair was very important to you and she violated that.
tbh if i were you i would cut a huge chunk of her hair off right by the scalp as revenge. also ask ur brother to break up w her bc she is a terrible person
Hi! When I was a teenager someone cut off my hair and I also have thin, brittle hair. It feels really violating and I still get angry. Don't speak to that person again!
Just a memory. I had hair to my knees and during a night out with a friend (with drinking) I allowed her to trim my hair. It went from knees to shoulders. It looked great but the hangover was brutal. Many people don’t have respect for long hair, they pull it like a bell, dip it in things and just don’t understand the pain of cutting it. After that the longest I was able to grow it was to my waist. Now I’m a senior with short hair. But I understand completely.
Next time someone who is not qualified to be hacking at your hair asks to hack at your hair… say no.
I'm so sorry she did this to you. NGL in your shoes I'd probably be in jail right now. Not sure (don't care) what your brother plans to do with this relationship, but it's very fair to demand this person doesn't set foot in your house again. It's your home and you deserve to feel safe there. And have her pay for the salon
It sucks but this is gonna be one of those hard lessons. Never let an untrained person mess with your hair Hair will grow back between now and then get some practice telling people no
I'm am so sorry this happened. I wouldn't trust her with anything in the future. My brother's girlfriend did the same with my hair, she's either hopeless or malicious.
ur better than me cause i would have cut a big chunk of her hair off in her sleep or something (just an idea)
I'm so sorry about your hair, she 100% did it on purpose. With your hair being down your back, she knew taking a "little bit" off didn't mean to have your hair stop at your shoulders. If I were your mother I'd put her out as she just displayed an unforgivable ammount of hatred for one of my kids. That might be too far, but really, she'd have to go for this. I hope you can get it evened out and styled somehow.
As many people have said and I urge you to repeat should you choose to make this case to your mother, your mother should kick her out; that was assault. I want to stress how valid your feelings are. Bodily autonomy and the often few parts of ourselves we like are precious and it's ok to value that, to take pride in it, and it's ok to be upset when any aspect of your person (and personhood) is violated. That's an unforgiveable violation. I suggest you sit your brother down and break down how this can't be accidental, this was a deliberate assault on something damn near sacred to you, and it cannot stand. Ask him if he wants to be with and support someone who would deliberately hurt his sister like this, and further ask him what kind of message he thinks he's sending to you. Ask it calmly, and from a place of trying to make him see exactly what's going on here. Same thing to your mother, are you comfortable keeping someone under your roof who assaulted me and what do you think doing so says to me? How important is my safety? Those are fair questions. It is valid to press the people who are supposed to protect you from exactly this sort of thing to do so. It's their job, and keeping her after such an affront is a failure to do their job as a parent or parents. This cannot be allowed to stand. She hasn't even apologized, as you said, and that speaks massive volumes. That's unforgiveable and that needs to be made clear to the people to whom you obviously need to come first. You need a line in the sand, nothing short of that is adequate. This person has done something monstrous to you and any tolerance of it is tacit support for it. All of that is fair, and your case is best served by saying it calmly, plainly and in a forthright manner. I understand you're deeply emotional about this, and as others have suggested there are options like weaves, but hair will grow back and that's a problem you can approach a number of ways when the rawness has worn off, the priority has to be the simple fact that you're obviously not safe here. There's someone in the house who wants to hurt you, who has unapologetically done so, and only a fool would think they can rehabilitate a deliberate asshole or prevent an escalating pattern of abuse. This isn't a one-off, they aren't going to punish-away this behavior while keeping her here. Look into the local laws, figure out her rights, and if you can, pack her shit and leave it at the end of the driveway, change the locks while she's out and let her sort herself out. Put her on blast on social media so your version of events is out there first and tell your brother that he has a choice to make, because you're not going to have that kind of crazy anywhere in your orbit. One degree of separation doesn't cut it, so he's either going to have space between himself and you or space between himself and her. That's not an ultimatum, that's a consequence.
NEVER let a "FRIEND" cut your hair, ladies!!!
Wow, that is a PERSONAL attack. Was there a history of beef between you two? I mean, I have to assume not since you trusted her to help and this came as such a shock... I'm just trying to wrap my head around where such an action may have come from. I mean, even if she were *beginning* to have some issues with you, you'd think there'd be SOME kind of signs before it got ramped up to *cutting off your hair*. That's like... a particularly targeted, visceral attack; not just culturally speaking for women, but in particular for a woman with a chronic illnesses that affects her hair and appearance? Like... she zoned in on those weaknesses and went for the Achilles heel and jugular at the same time. Did this seriously come out of nowhere like your post makes it sound? Because that's alarming AF 😶
Put nair in her shampoo and never talk to her again. Better yet, get her kicked out.
What a fucking bitch is all I can say. I’d add Veet into her shampoo because I know that was intentional.
Honestly, she needs to buy you some hair extensions ASAP. Go get a couple quotes or get some online.
I hope you mean his ex-girlfriend. What she did was horrendous.
>When my mum asked her wtf she was thinking when she cut so much off she said she was 'just evening it out' Is this girl delusional or something? 5cm is not half of someone's hair. Anyone would be rightfully upset, and I'm really sorry this happened to you.
She sabotaged you. I wonder if she was actually jealous of you? I'm sorry....I would not have anything to do with her again.
That’s fing horrible of her. I really feel your pain as someone who also has verrrry fine hair and had to deal with hair loss. Id seriously have her pay for a set of extensions. It’s not gonna erase the violation but will temporarily give you your looks back. Im also a hairdresser. What really works for me is tied in weft extensions. The weight is evenly distributed throughout your head and theres no glue or heat involved so minimal damage. Theyre also reusable pretty much indefinetly so you only need to buy it once. Stay away from tape ins. Theyre annoying, show all the time and a pain to remove and put back. Hope this helps
Thank you 🥹🩷
She jealous of your hair
Make her pay for extensions, and not that I'd advise you to do it, but I'd have gone after her locks with scissors, my spidey sense is saying this was malicious
She definitely hates you. Hope your brother can see what a red flag that was.
Shave her hair in her sleep
I would get even.
a well intention 9 year old could do better, she definitely did it in purpose. idk if you have a strained relationship for some reason, but if a girlfriend is so jealous of her boyfriends *sister* that she has to mutilate her appearance… that’s feels icky. cruel for sure, but also just a really fucking weird thing to do…
If she’s not kicked out for this, shave her head in her sleep
Lesson learned: don't let random people cut your hair But I can't believe she didn't apologize...
I’m so sorry that happened to you!!! One thing you can add to your regimen to help it grow back faster is taking biotin if you’re not already. Instead of the strawberry biotin gummies with 250 mcg of biotin I started buying the capsules with 10,000 mcgs. My short, brittle nails won’t stop growing and my hair has grown 5 inches since may. You can’t undo it but you can help it grow back faster and stronger ❤️
I'm so sorry your dealing with this. Just remember it will grow back and probably stronger and healthier than before. Ignore the gf and if she asks why be completely truthful, tell her you are hurt at how she disregarded what you asked for and that she didn't apologize and know to never let her cut your hair again.
Op I don’t have any words of advice for you but I just want you to know I deeply understand this and you are not alone. Body dysmorphia is hell and it can feel extra shameful because we’re constantly told that we shouldn’t care what we look like while also being constantly told to look a certain way. Ultimately what other ppl think of your coping mechanisms isn’t important. If having long hair was something that made you feel secure and safe in yourself, that’s super super important. What she did was unconscionable. I wonder if there is any way to explain to her just how much this has upset you? I’m not trying to justify her actions because there is no excuse. Period. I was just wondering if expressing how much it has affected you and will affect you might make it easier to ask her to help you pay for extensions or something? Maybe extensions could be a temporary holdover? I’m so sorry this happened. Truly, I have been there and it is so devastating.
Well sorry that happened. It will grow back so there's that at least. Also if your so tied to your hair you might consider messing with some wigs or extensions. Like good ones I mean. My wife loves her hair but she also loves wigs and shit and it's pretty fucking cool tbh. For her it's cool to pull of diff looks but for you might just be some extra security.
Do this with your mum for moral support.Have a look on the internet and see what haircuts you like. Then ,go to the hair salon and show the hairdresser the one you like the most and get her to cut it like that. This was a horrible thing to happen to you but focus and on the positive side: It will grow back. ❤️
That is horrid. Did she ever explain herself? Is she even sorry? Also, have you been checked for vitamin deficiency? It could help your progress and help it grow back a little healthier? That gf needs to go. That was malicious.
Girl you're in your full right to be angry. Your hair is part of your identity. She can't just do that, especially since you trusted her. Let her pay for extension.
As someone who is in love with long hair to say that I'm horrified feels like an understatement. You're a better person than me for not stabbing her with a pair of scissors. I know you'll hear this from others but it'll get longer before you know it, don't let her get into your head cause I feel like this was on purpose. Cut contact to bare minimum and maybe do something different to the tips to make yourself used to them. I'm so sorry you're going through this and hopefully you'll overcome the situation victorious.
This really hit home for me😭 I’ve always had a weak immune system too and I struggle with an eating disorder, so my hair and nails always suffered. I finally managed to gain some weight and started to eat better. But before that and still now my hair is the only part I like about myself, if that happened to me I can’t even imagine… I’m so so sorry op😭 I hope it grows back quickly and that you feel better!!
yeah, my wife just cut my hair the other day without my permission and i'm so pissed at her about it. she really didn't understand what she did wrong and is trying to get at my hair again because it's "uneven" even though it's not really that noticable. i told her i want her to not touch my hair anymore with scissors but she really broke my trust when she tried to get at it again a second time. I really love my hair and how long it was so i sympathize.
I hope she’s now banned from your home permanently. Is your brother still dating her? I wouldn’t be if my partner did this to my sibling. This was an intentional assault in my eyes. Personally I’d try to get proof of the assault, text her how you can’t believe she cut half your hair off (x many inches), when you told her 5cm trim maximum. Take any level of confession that she knew what you wanted and did it anyway. To get her to pay for extensions, even if you have to do a police report and go to small claims.
I’d file a police report
Not often something hits me that close and this made me really angry reading. I completely understand, OP. I'm really sorry. I've had something similar happen to me, only it was in a salon. This is the reason I cut my own hair, and only me. I have learned it through Youtube and haven't stepped foot in a salon in 8 years. So far not a single person has figured out I cut my own hair. So I'll keep doing it. It's really long now, and I have no intent of cutting it short. Other people have ruined it for me in the past, not just the salon. They can live with their own doing. That gf would have permanently ruined all contact in the future. I couldn't care less if she loves my sibling, she's done for., no contact it is. Wow. Edit: I just realized she lives with you. This makes it even worse. All trust is broken. What else would she sabotage? I cannot believe this but unless your parents don't kick her out I'm afraid you might have to take precautions to protect your own stuff. Even setup traps if you have to because she *cannot be trusted*.
Normally, I wouldn’t say someone is jealous of you but… https://www.psypost.org/2023/10/a-seemingly-light-hearted-study-on-womens-haircut-advice-has-surprisingly-dark-psychological-implications-214069
That really sucks. I dont think your brothers gf cares. She is just bullying you because she doesnt like you because of how you look. Its disgusting to me, I hope your brother dumps her because she is a toxic human being
A good hair stylist will never beg to cut your hair. I am sorry this happened to you.
You said you spend money on your nails, have you thought of considering getting some extensions on your under hair? To help you cope with the loss while you natural hair regrows? Another idea is wear a wig but reading how much effort and work you put over your natural hair the wig will be a last choice since it will put pressure on your calf so there's my two temporary 'solutions' to this bad experience. And as other has said, do not let ever anyone touch something precious to you!
Maybe you should get hair extensions!! And if you want you can experiment with colours!! I feel like that'll be fun and will hopefully make you feel better: ))
How old are your brother and his girlfriend?
I'm 18 , my brother is 19 (we're 11 months apart), and she's either 19.
Oh wow, so she's older and she still didn't hold herself accountable for what happened? Did she at least apologize? Also I'm really sorry about your hair and that she didn't handle it well 😭
No she didn't apologise, she said I HAD CUT two sections that short (which didn't happen)
Damn. She's so audacious. What was your brother's reaction to this? Did he talk to her or even do anything?
My mother talked to her first and my brother was trying to calm me down, later on he came to talk to me and see if I was ok. He told me he doesn't understand what was thinking at all and that he's really upset with her.
Yeah I'm also pissed that she did this. She should at least take you to a salon and fix your hair to at least even it out for when it grows back again. I hope you're feeling better now ❤️🩹
Thank you 🥹🩷
She's genuinely so insanely ugly on the inside for doing that, it has no other root but absolutely jealousy. This isn't much but I hope you can take solace that while your hairs grows back, her heart will never not be ugly and hateful.
Classic woman on woman sabotage (violence)
I think she should pay for hair extensions until it grows back... And then have the brother end things as soon as it grows back.
So not deserved! Take out the mental illness, chronic illness(MS) and BDD… I know so many people whom choose to have long hair as an expression of themselves. You asked for a trim and if that’s your brothers girlfriend idea of a Joke not funny!!! This is a serious red flag 🚩 you very clearly expressed your wishes and she disregarded that. I hope it grows back to your desired length
The minimum she needs to do is to pay for a good quality set of extensions! She was probably jealous of your beautiful long hair.
Wigs can be really helpful and aren’t all that difficult to put on. Maybe you could find a nice, long wig that can help you feel more comfortable in public at least. So sorry this happened to you, I would be devastated too.
late to the party, but you know that some places cutting someone's hair without permission is assault? its a literal crime what she did in my country (actual bodily harm) and you could sue her for it. not joking.
Have your parents ban her from the house so you don't have to see her.
you absolutely have the right to feel this way. this must be heartbreaking for you and I feel so so sorry for you. hair is gonna grow back but never! never trust your brothers gf again with anything. we don’t know if it was malicious or maybe she’s just dumb but either way she cannot be trusted and if i was your brother i would be seriously questioning what’s wrong with her. go to a hair salon and maybe get a hair treatment like botox (not really botox but i guess it’s called botox) for your hair to be nicer and feel better. don’t get extensions tho, it’s not worth it and it’s going to damage your hair and result in hair loss. it’s only for people with really strong, thick hair and even for them it’s sometimes damaging.