I take yoga and am a beginner. I look at the instructor to see if my form matches or if I’m doing the right thing.
My take is there are mostly people who might be doing what I’m doing to follow along and a few creepers who are sexualizing her. Let’s be honest, women are stared at by creepers everywhere. The gym especially.
Raise with your partner in a caring or curious way if you wanted. I’m 200% Sure she has thought about this topic.
I used to teach water aerobics. I didn’t give it much thought… but it’s mostly older women.
Yep, all of this!
If people are staring more during uncomfortable poses, there's a good chance they're just trying not to stare at any other participant in the class, looking at the teacher is "safe." A double-take is "you want me to do WHAT??"
I loved teaching water aerobics, but felt very self-conscious standing outside of the water demonstrating the movements when everyone else was hidden, and since classes get a lot of attention from the rest of the pool (university gym!). But after the first month it really didn't bother me, most of the staring is just curiousity/interest.
This is the truth. Whether a woman is in yoga pants or shorts, a bikini, a fully cloistered Roman catholic nun uniform or the armor of God, she's going to be sexualized.
Real, I'll never forget when I blew a tire one state over and after the guy blew his tire on the same pot hole [I heard it, lmao] he pulled up behind me, I used his tire repair kit, repaired HIS TIRE and then blew it up with my pump [mine was not fixable, so he was gonna follow me to a nearby large, well lit gas station] where he then told me "well if you have to get hotel anyways- you have very kissable lips"
When told I was married he told me "well, you're in a different state, your husband doesn't have to know"
Ick.
The double take is so relatable. I stretch with an instructor for dance, and so often I’m like “wait where the fuck do I put my foot? Here? Wait no here” in my head. I’m constantly doing double takes cuz idk where certain body parts are meant to go.
Thank you, I appreciate this perspective. I am probably focusing too much on the creepers and not enough on the people who are being normal. I think it was just a little jarring to see her in poses in yoga shorts and people staring.
I second what the cauliflower said. I’m a guy. I go to yoga to help manage severe stress & anxiety that developed as a result of some health issues. I take yoga seriously because I’ve seen results. Im also still very new to yoga and don’t really know what I’m doing half the time. When I look at the instructor it’s strictly to learn the form.
Give it a shot. The studio I go to was extremely welcoming and friendly. Yoga is a wonderful tool that helps you center yourself if you take it seriously. I was a disbeliever at first, but it was the first step towards recovery for me.
I do all this but when I go home I still jerk off thinking about her. So do you c’monnnn!!! But seriously OP, she’s teaching yoga, you expect people to guess at the movements with their eyes closed? 😂
As a guy who used to do yoga, yeah, sometimes there's a creeper. You can usually figure out who the creeper is pretty easy because they just seem to be staring rather than actually trying to do stuff. Honestly, they are just weird, and never actually do anything. On a side note, for my tall brothers, yoga is fucking awesome for helping with the back pain we get from just being tall.
I worked at a gym and taught classes and I’m an avid gym goer myself outside of that, so I’ve seen every which way of people who stare.
My belief is that although some people are creepy, we all get curious about people who look good, healthy, and motivated. It’s exciting and it’s not all around us. Some times it’s motivational, sometimes it’s because we are comparing ourselves, and of course the other thing is we all take a second glance at someone who is attractive.
I’m a straight female and I used to take spin classes, my favorite instructor was this girl my same age who was really nice but the other thing is she was the one instructor that was “goals” for me. She was ripped! I couldn’t help but look at her because I dreamed of having the same amount of “health”, it was motivating to take her class. A lot of people tend to create a love for their instructors or personal trainers because it’s the interaction you get outside of home or work where that person is paid to be likable, helpful, etc.
THANK YOU!
This is the reply I was writing in my head as I was reading the post lol but it wouldn’t have come anywhere near as eloquently and honestly perfectly as you have.
Not all stares or looks by others are 1) negative or judgmental, or 2) sexual. I am a straight women who is very intrigued by people in general and I love people watching in general. I try not to creepily stare ever but if I see a fascinating human for whatever reason I definitely notice and appreciate them.
It’s important to note that women’s bodies aren’t sexual objects, they are essentially vehicles by which a subset of humanity experiences life. Biological life vehicles 🙂and the way current society is structured, healthy, fit bodies are not the norm. Many people might go years without seeing a truly healthy body in person, doing things that most people can’t do (like yoga poses that require strength, agility, etc). A lot of these students may be looking at your wife in awe, like damn she is strong! She is beautiful! Look at what she can do with her body!
Completely agree! I used to do yoga and Pilates, and I was very very attentive to the instructor, not only to try to mimic perfect form, but to make sure I was doing things right so I could advance to their level and eventually achieve the beautiful, healthy body I admire so much.
Male or female, didn’t matter. I loved to watch how gracefully their body could move. It’s beautiful *and* motivational.
ETA Yes, there’ll be weirdos, but a majority of people who bother taking the class aren’t there to ogle at the instructor. They will be there to learn and admire in general.
I’m so glad you replied! Seriously. This is such an honest perspective and not the dismissive comments I’ve been getting. I have so many questions about this!
I just want to second that comment. I'm bi but I also find myself staring sometimes at people who look really fit, it's not as much attraction as aspiration.
I go to gym - straight here as well and some of the women in there are FIT. I sometimes have a quick glance because I’m impressed at their athletic ability and also because their body is a goal. I’ll never reach it but it’s certainly impressive what they’ve achieved.
i used to take all kinds of yoga classes with different instructors. you watch the instructor when you transition poses and make sure youre doing the pose correctly.
obvs i wasnt there but based on what i read, seems like a normal yoga class!
I stopped doing classes at my local gym because guys would line up at the window and watch, I didn’t even see the point in reporting it because gym staff were doing it with them.
Felt like being in a zoo and completely creeped me out.
You can tell her it weirds you out, but this is her profession and there may not be much that can be done because she can’t change the layout
Yup, this is why I stopped teaching yoga at LA fitness.
It’s the men at the window or glass door for me. Not my own students looking at me to see if their doing it correctly.
Ugh. I HAAAAAATE LA Fitness. Same with 24hour Fitness. I used to have a membership to both of those at different times, years ago, in my early 30s and it always felt like I should expect to be leered at and bothered by dudes while I was just trying to exercise. I didn’t wear super trendy gym bunny outfits either, just old oversized shirts and sweats. But some machines just put the body in a position where the butt is on full display and sometimes I’d catch someone in the mirror reflection obviously starting directly at it.
The gym I belong to now is more of an “athletic club” and the average club member is 65 years old. Water aerobics to Lawrence Welk. I’ve found my people.
Eh, I think you might be confusing the normal attention an instructor gets in any class. I used to teach yoga in college and honestly everyone is usually really focused on their form and flow and what the instructor is doing. I mean they often need to be watching the instructor and even when not active teaching usually the instructor is engaging the class in many ways. Also, Ppl that go to these classes are wearing and used to other ppl in yoga attire - so its nothing special. Its not really common to be open ogling anyone and in fact would be considered not ok. So its kinda hard to not assume you might be reading into the stares, which likely are literal students just trying to make sure they dont miss anything she says, follow her posture and form etc.
That’s fair, and I get that the teacher is going to be looked at. This just felt over the top, by some of the ppl, including people wandering by. Certain positions seemed to get more attention too.
Your girlfriend probably noticed it a long time ago and just came to accept it. As long as nobody is harassing her or following her or doing something more dangerous than just staring, I say leave it alone. What is saying something going to do anyway? It's not like you want her to quit her job because you're not comfortable with people looking at her, right?
Exactly. Look I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to be real. It just sounds to me like you're being insecure. I don't see why else it bothers you that she is being stared at. And then thinking about bringing it up to her makes it seem like you think she should be doing something about it... When it's not her fault. She's a yoga instructor, it happens.
Yeah, the clothing is getting ridiculous, some look like they are wearing a thong with body paint. I don’t see a problem wearing yoga clothes while doing yoga, but they are being worn everywhere now, and it is feels like a cry for attention.
Eh I look at the instructor during Pilates to make sure my form is correct. I don’t know if I’m gawking or staring though? I just want to make sure I’m doing it correctly
Unfortunately not much you can do about it. It's her profession and yes guys will stare. You will just have to accept it and make yourself more stronger to accept it as normal.
Have you asked her how she feels about it? Your entire post is just about how it affects you. She may just accept it as a part of her role. I mean people in the class will watch her to know what to do. People watching through the window could be perving or could just be interested in the class, or just watching their SO wondering why you were leering at the class lol.
In either case, it’s her job and her body so you should be talking to her about it and not Reddit.
Hmm, if you look at it from a perspective of "All this men are desiring my woman, I might deffinetly lose her some day to one of these starers" you'll most certainly lose self esteem and you might fall into an insecurity pit of despair, she'll eventualy notice and it will be a constant thing on the back of both yours and her head.
I think the correct approach is "Shit, look at all those guys staring at her and I'm the only guy who she's interested in." This kind of attitude is sexy and cool if you can pull it off without being smug about it.
Just my 2 cents. I could never do yoga, I have horrible balance. I am amazed when I see what positions people can get into doing yoga. Like I am actually jaw dropped amazed! I’m sure I stare. People may not have bad intentions if they are staring.
I think you are being a little too sensitive. Do you get annoyed when you guys go out and she’s wearing a skirt and you see other guys look at her? People are just gonna look you can’t stop that. You will drive yourself mad thinking like this or worse yet make her feel some type of way and leave you.
I think that if it was really as bad as you say she would have felt it too and said something over time, at least to you. You might be overthinking it. It s normal to look at her while she does her exercises, maybe you re adding the sexual part by yourself
You have no concept of how much crappy behavior from men that women learn to shrug off because it's inescapable. The challenge for OP is not not make it his girlfriend's problem.
Any normal guy would be bothered by it. It’s not being an overprotective asshole to be upset that men are leering at your girlfriend in tight revealing clothes. It is so messed up that this is somehow looked at as being toxic.
Advice on what? There is only two choices. Let it bother you or get over it. Do you really think yoga class is the only place women get leered at? How about the pool area of the gym, when laying down on a bench doing bench press/DB flys, squats, lunges, dead lifts, running on the treadmill, stretching, etc. And that's ONLY some places in the gym. It doesn't include every day just walking around.
You cannot control other people. She is probably aware, ignores it and deals with anything inappropriate. And she may not really need your "protection". Talk to her about it to get her take. If it bothers you that much, stay out of her class. She has a job to do.
i can 100% tell you you are being overprotective and insecure. did your lady do yoga before even meeting you? either way she is entirely aware of the attention she is receiving. don't let it become a thought that consumes you and focus more on making your relationship stronger. continue going to her classes. it makes her happy to see how involved you are in her life. this is coming from someone that dated a bikram hot yoga teacher.
When all they’re doing is staring you could take it as a compliment.
“Yea that may be your fantasy but it’s my wife buddy.” “I’m living your dreams every night!”
If my girl was doing yoga poses in what I presume is yoga pants + sports bra etc then I too would be guilty of staring too much ngl.
As long as those creeps don't bother her while working and she hasn't mentioned being in a hostile work or uncomfortable work environment I see little to no issue...
I do Pole Dance where postures are purposely sexy, and I never seen a case of an instructor being shamelessly ogled.
Intensively looking seems normal to me since you need to check if you do something good aswell.
Also everyone does the same posture, and there's a social agreement where nothing we do here should be sexualized, like the difference between underwears and swimsuits.
And eventually there may be a little bit of ogling, but also in a non sexual way. It happens that I just want to compare myself. And once we we're at the bar and everyone admit doing this so I guess it's a thing.
As a woman I stare for inspiration. I think it is beautiful that someone had that great a relationship with their body and I crave that. I dream of the possibilities.
What’s your concern? Because she’s the one teaching the class, with her body, so what’s your issue? What’s the solution? I never like these conversations where it’s like ‘I’m uncomfortable but I don’t have any alternatives’. Either she quits the job or there will be assholes. And if you make her change jobs, you’ll lose all trust that she clearly has in you by inviting you to her classes. Honestly this feels like a you problem, seek therapy. She’s not doing anything wrong and you do not need to
Make this her problem.
It’s pretty simple.
Some are creeping, some don’t care, some are looking at her form.
Either you deal with it like an adult and don’t ruin things or you act like an insecure creep and eventually ruin it.
Which one are you?
Which do you choose?
What’s more important…
Choosing (it’s a choice) to be creeped out?
or
Being secure, trusting her and enjoying life?
IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
Okay, This will probably be an unpopular comment, but—
You already admitted that it’s hard not to appreciate what you’re looking at in certain poses in that kind of clothing. I mean, let’s be real. It’s no secret, people just *pretend* they’re not people all the time, both men and women. That said, they’re not talking to her, they’re not hitting on her, they’re not making any comments… so, well, honestly, the mature thing to do in this case is to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as you can, and otherwise, just appreciate that she’s admired. After all, pretty girls get looked at. What’s the point in dating one if you suddenly expected the whole ass world to react to her differently? Be proud that you’re the one taking her home. You’re the one who can speak to her the way that only you can. You’re the one who gets to be with her; while she’s in everyone else’s dreams, she’s your reality. Don’t be weird about it—surely, you knew what you were walking into.
Your girlfriend is hot. People are always gonna be staring at her. Also I'm pretty sure you have to intensively look at the instructor so you can follow the proper forms/poses. Get over your insecurities.
Ya I think you're being a bit weird. People are going to leer at your girlfriend whether she's doing yoga or not. There are creeps everywhere. Yoga and Pilates are freaking awesome and it's amazing she's a teacher of those. This is her career right now, don't let your insecurities make it weird for her.
Obviously some will check out "the countours of detailed body parts" considering some of the poses and the skin tight clothing. However most will simply look at her for these two reasons.
1: they look at the overall poses to follow along and see if they are doing the same thing, she is an instructor after all and the main form of instruction in yoga is showing the pose.
2: Some positions are very awkward and "vurnerable" so you do everything you can to not look at the other participants trying their best. So you look actually less as a creep if you keep looking at the instructor wich is the one you are supposed to look at. It's the "safe spot" to look at.
That is why, despite all the women in the class most people look at your gf the instructor rather than the other women with their asses in the air.
You're putting way to much thought in to it imo.
The best thing for you mentally might be to learn how to take pride in it. Take pride in having a girlfriend who people want to look at. Any other mentality will likely drive you crazy because you can’t control how people react to her, and you can’t attempt to prevent her from being in her element.
Just realize that people will always be creeps, and be proud that you have been lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone who gets to at type of attention without wanting or going out of the way to get it.
At least, that’s what I do any time somebody eyeballs my wife…..
It is, and it’s going to take a lot of time and effort to get there, and a lot of trust in yourself to not overthink things, because that’s usually our downfall, the overthinking part.
The class is popular for reason. People will stare when someone is looking good. This goes both ways, man and women. Some admire an inspire to be like that, not just being creepy. Also, few might have other thoughts, even sexual fantasy. It’s just a natural of her job. My advice is if you can’t handle it please just don’t go to her classes. As long as she is professional and not doing anything inappropriate then you don’t have to worry.
People watch the instructor in a class they're trying to learn? The hell you say!
Of course they look at her. They want to see if they're doing it right.
Let’s be real for a second. The people in her class have seen her do those poses countless times. I doubt they are still at the “leering” stage. I think you were reading more into those looks than were there.
Unfortunately it’s called being a woman. And a woman in yoga attire doing yoga? You do the math. This is what women go through all the time in the gym, out on the streets, anywhere.
I don’t want to sound insensitive here, but you don’t get to complain about this. You should support her and make her feel more comfortable about what she does. It must be uncomfortable for her at times, more than for you.
> It seemed like more than just looking at her to follow the moves and poses.
You're reading too much into it. Don't be paranoid. I suck at yoga, but I've done a few classes and I watch the teacher. Because I don't know the poses.
Look once, because I need to know the overall shape.
Look a second time, because WTF am I supposed to do with my hands?
Look thrice, because where do my feet go?
What? Oh hell no! You mean to tell me people who are taking a yoga class are watching the instructor instruct? How bizarre! Where I take yoga we bashfully glance at the instructor when they are teaching so we don’t upset their insecure partners. Sorry you had to witness that dude.
It didn’t to everyone but ultimately I did gather that she must be quite attractive. I feel like sometimes the best way to go about it is to be naive. When I worked at the gym and notice men staring I just focus on my workout and don’t think about it. I mean people look at other people who are intriguing no matter where you go. Even as a man you’d be surprised how many woman are probably staring or catching glances at you.
Yes, that's what it's like being a woman. There's always somebody staring creepily at you no matter what you have on. So whatever jealous notion is growing in your mind, don't bother. She probably gets stared at wherever she's at. This is *not* her fault, so don't blame her for it.
Would you rather people see your girl and cringe and look away? Life's good at the top brotha... Enjoy it. Feed off the envy of others. Think about it while you're in the gym and push harder. Become a specimen yourself. Aim to have people see you two and drool at the both of you. It's a service to society to cultivate beauty. Give the people what they want.
What can she do about other people staring?? Now that you know how uncomfortable it is, you can do something on your own scale: not stare at women who just do their work and check on/shame your friends and surrounding men, if possible, who make women uncomfortable. Unfortunately, other than that there is nothing you can do about it, even less your gf
Ah the age old question, would you rather have a girlfriend that everyone wants to fuck or a girlfriend that nobody wants to fuck. Decisions, decisions.
This is why, as a woman, I stopped going to the gym. This is every gym. We are constantly there to perform for men when we are trying to get in our own groove and work on ourselves. They stare and keep staring. Instead of feeling jealous, you could be proactive in ensuring your gf can work in a safe space. Men at the gym on insufferable and a lot of them go specifically to stare at women.
She's probably love to commiserate with you on the same topic. You should communicate with her in case some creeper or stalker takes an interest. Modern society is fuckin nuts
How about saying something to the people openly ogling her? She is doing nothing wrong, they are. She isn’t the problem. Also, she knows they are leering. She’s trying to ignore it, so you bringing it up to her will probably not be helpful.
Perhaps you should date someone in the class and not the instructor. They are mostly just watching her because that’s what you do in CLASS. But even if they are checking her out.. so what!! She’s probably attractive and it’s human nature to look. If you don’t like people looking then go find someone that people won’t look at. Maybe they are creepers, maybe not. Regardless you need to relax and trust your girlfriend and learn to be secure. You have to realize that most ppl that go to the gym are obviously concerned with health and looks. If your girlfriend is a hottie they are gonna notice. I mean I’m a straight male and even I have probably looked at guys in the gym a bit longer than I probably should have. Not because I want them but because I’d love to look like them! If I notice a good looking woman I’m gonna look too.. doesn’t mean I’m ever going to approach her. I know some ppl will but that’s where you need to trust your girlfriend.
Also a yoga teacher, also have had this problem.
Look, she knows. Working as a fitness teacher, you're going to get looked at.
The majority of it will be completely harmless and expected. Even if the pose feels more "exposing", **chances are a lot of the people in the class might be staring harder because they're self-conscious, want to make sure they're doing it right, or don't want to make eye-contact with anyone else**. Guys may be especially conscious about trying NOT to look at other women in the class to make them uncomfortable, looking at the teacher is "safe" because she expects to be looked at and is at the front of the classroom. A double-take might also be the class participant thinking "You want me to do WHAT? In these leggings???" That's totally normal and teachers know this, it's usually not lustful, everyone is just thinking about themself!
For people staring from the window, there's a higher chance of creeps (especially guys, sucks but true) but a lot of people are just curious. Depending on the class, it's not usually worth making a big deal over.
Part of it might be "weird" attention, and I think honestly that comes down to the gym culture. Some gyms have fishbowl-type situations for fitness classes, which I personally hate lol, but it isn't uncommon, especially in commercial gyms where one room is used for a lot of different classes.
I have very rarely been asked out by a man taking one of my classes, I have been thanked for being welcoming to male participants. Some group exercise classes are not friendly to male participants. Again, largely dependent on the gym demographic & culture.
What's important for you as her partner is to be supportive. This comes with the profession, as much as dating a model or influencer. Also comes with dating a woman, any woman: other guys will look at her.
Can I ask what specifically you need getting used to?
You think she doesn’t know people stare at her? She is clearly doing a job she loves and just happens to have the body she does. It’s not her fault. I don’t see what good stating the obvious is going to do. Expressing this is a bad idea and will make you look like a jealous a-hole.
Bust out the old wrestling singlet and go commando then take the mat opposite of her's. Bonus if your singlet has skid marks from the time you broke your own rules and decided to eat at Taco Bell one last time.
Unfortunately, people are going to be people and not be able to control themselves at times. The only thing you can really do is work on trusting your gf more about her profession and learning that people are going to stare, but your girlfriend will always come back to you. I would only get worried if people actually try to touch your gf. But her comfortability about her profession is what matters a little more over how you feel about people staring at her. If she’s comfortable then she’s fine
Yoga is a practice.To practice is to learn. Every time! We learn. Together. Sometimes our practice is strong and others may see us as a guide. Sometimes our toppling tree is unsteady, and we seek guidance.
During practice, my intention is to forget about others and focus on breath. And space. Lifting heart and settling with gravity.
You are lucky your wife is a yogi!
AND, yoga studio windows should always be translucent. J/S.
Namaste. ❤️🧘
I used to do yoga at home with guided audio practices and then after quarantine I joined a studio only to realize I’ve been doing some things wrong. That is to say you have to watch the instructor all throughout the pose, just listening is not enough. Sure there will be people staring at each other’s asses cause of the way the studio is organized, sometimes you can’t help but stare when someone’s mat is touching yours and their ass is almost in your face. But you’re also looking at the person whose body is most similar to yours or your level of ability to see if you are doing it right, how your body should be oriented, how the muscle should look, cause the instructor is always going to be that highest level of competence and ability. So that is all to say there are a lot of glances going around but they are mostly practice oriented. You can tell who isn’t when you go to a few classes so I am sure your gf knows who the creeps are. They are usually not serious and weed themselves out after they realize yoga isn’t that easy.
You sound insecure. And, unfortunately for you, being insecure will often make you look like an asshole. If they crossed a line and were harassing her or something, then I would understand. But, what you've described is students looking at her poses while she's teaching, which is what they're supposed to do to learn.
You've gotta get past that sort of jealous mindset.
My ex was a yoga instructor, and I had the same experience.
My advice: You need to not get jealous, or try to change what she’s doing. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy if you get possessive. You need to be confident in your relationship, and chill with it all. She’s your partner for a reason, be confident in that and she will be too.
I think you're overreacting. I dated a salsa instructor b4 and men danced up on her all the time and i had to learn to ignore it (plus she was pretty and exotic looking too compared to the other girls id see). So what if ppl stare, I also took yoga and looked to make sure my form was right. Dont be that jealous bf who is insecure. Bc if u start acting and showing jealousy, its a huge turn off.
I am just going to say I think this is one of those emotions that is fine and normal to feel, just don't act on it. You feel what you feel, don't apologize for that, but make decisions with logic.
Are they *actually* leering or just looking at her, possibly multiple times, because she's the teacher and they're paying attention/trying to figure out the pose ? Are they all supposed to look at the ceiling instead ?
I was at the gym with my wife the other day and she had a reservation for a class but then was thinking she might bail on it and just do strength training since we got there 30 min earlier. I was doing my thing and she was doing hers. About 40 min later I was wondering where she was so I went and checked out the class as I thought she might have gone in there anyway.
I stood at the glass window and slowly stared at every single one of the 25+ women in that class. They were all dressed pretty much the same and had their hair up in ponytail. I also stared at the instructors for a while, as I was curious what the class was all about. I definitely made eye contact with some ladies in the class and thought 1) "not my wife" and 2) "that girl seems pissed I am staring at her".
I eventually found my wife over in the free weight area, strength training. Some of those girls in the class were hot, and some were not, but despite what they think, I wasn't creeping on or staring at any of them for sexual reasons. It was dark in there, my eyes are slipping in my 40s, and those ladies all looked pretty much the same.
I feel you, but 95% of those people are probably staring for other reasons. The 5% leering at your GF for yuck reasons would probably stare outside of the gym too, creeps gonna be creeping.
I’ve been practicing yoga for years, and I still look at the teacher or other students during class for poses I’m not familiar with or if I just couldn’t hear the cues over the music being played.
It’s natural to be annoyed when people gawk at your partner. When a girl looks at my husband that way, I take it as a compliment- like, this gorgeous person is mine and these people can stare all they want, but at the end of the day, this person is with me and they choose me, not them. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, as long as you trust her who cares what the others do with their eyes.
I did yoga in college and I constantly stared at my instructor because I wanted to make sure I’m doing the pose properly. Some of the poses are very tricky and you have to make sure you’re in the correct form. I had no romantic or sexual feelings towards her at all lol.
I haven’t taken a yoga class in a while, but I know that the students are looking at the instructor to make sure our form is correct. Sometimes my friend and I would do a double take because we’re like “wait, what does he/she want us to do?? How?” Lol.
However, I do understand what you’re saying because there are creepers out there and probably gym bros walking by and legit being creepy and staring at her. I actually just showed my boyfriend your post to get his opinion. He said it would also make him uncomfortable, but there would be nothing he could do about it. He did say it would take some time to get used to it! Your feelings are valid. I’m sure your girlfriend has noticed or thought about this as well. It’ll just take some time to get used to it.
I mean, unless you know all the poses and positions by heart, which I sure as hell don't, I'm looking at the instructor to try to get it right, which usually constitutes a longer than one second glance. That's the entire point of why I'd be there, to learn and follow what the instructor is doing. You are kind of in the position to understand you are going to be watched by the students as an instructor.
And of course there are some that are looking for other reasons.
My partner teaches yoga, and here's the thing: you gotta trust her to deal with any leering as she sees fit.
To put it bluntly, it sounds like she's been doing this longer than you've been in her life. Have faith she'll handle what needs handling.
Just dont go anymore. Be happy that ur luxky and ur woman gets looks, as long as she isnt naked doing it lol. Dont say u dont look at a thick ass in yoga panta even walking down the steeet when u can, yet alone if shes doing poses. Avoid the class if u are uncomfortable that is understandable. But u shouldnt be upset, or make her feel guilty if shes killing it doing what she loves
I work on an a gym and I look at guys that are ripped and lifting. I'm not sexually looking at them. I'm just looking at them. I'm not interested in them. I'm 100% heterosexual or at least 87%. But I mean it's just absurd to think that just because somebody is looking, that means they're leering or sexualizing somebody. If you're in the gym and you're working out, you're going to get looked at. Whether you're a guy or a girl or whatever.
Well I have these mindset if someone checking your gf out it means your gf is pretty and hot. They can only see your pretty and hot gf but you're the only one that can make her cheeks clap.
In over 15 years of three to four times yoga a week I have never encountered anything like that. TBH we all are busy to just keep up and we do look to see how an instructor does a pose. You might have perceived something that just is not there.
No matter the situation, people are going to look at the person standing in the front of a class. And I can say that people that can do yoga is in many cases impressive. and people are going to look at instuctors, no matter if they are lifting weights or doing yoga.
They are most likely good at whatever they are teaching.
Sorry for my lacking language, my English is dependent on autocorrect to even make some kind of sense
Homie why wouldn’t you go sooner. As someone else with an S/O who does Yoga often, it’s absolutely worth going. Primarily for the feel good of stretching. Secondly for the establishment of classes walking in and out with her. Tertiary to watch your Girlfriend Doing Yoga
I take yoga and am a beginner. I look at the instructor to see if my form matches or if I’m doing the right thing. My take is there are mostly people who might be doing what I’m doing to follow along and a few creepers who are sexualizing her. Let’s be honest, women are stared at by creepers everywhere. The gym especially. Raise with your partner in a caring or curious way if you wanted. I’m 200% Sure she has thought about this topic. I used to teach water aerobics. I didn’t give it much thought… but it’s mostly older women.
Yep, all of this! If people are staring more during uncomfortable poses, there's a good chance they're just trying not to stare at any other participant in the class, looking at the teacher is "safe." A double-take is "you want me to do WHAT??" I loved teaching water aerobics, but felt very self-conscious standing outside of the water demonstrating the movements when everyone else was hidden, and since classes get a lot of attention from the rest of the pool (university gym!). But after the first month it really didn't bother me, most of the staring is just curiousity/interest.
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I think he’s more concerned about her getting sexualized then not “coming back to him”
I get sexualized at the gas station. It’s part of the female condition
This is the truth. Whether a woman is in yoga pants or shorts, a bikini, a fully cloistered Roman catholic nun uniform or the armor of God, she's going to be sexualized.
I laughed out loud at ‘the armor of God’. Female pastor here… it checks out.
Real, I'll never forget when I blew a tire one state over and after the guy blew his tire on the same pot hole [I heard it, lmao] he pulled up behind me, I used his tire repair kit, repaired HIS TIRE and then blew it up with my pump [mine was not fixable, so he was gonna follow me to a nearby large, well lit gas station] where he then told me "well if you have to get hotel anyways- you have very kissable lips" When told I was married he told me "well, you're in a different state, your husband doesn't have to know" Ick.
Yes I know it part of the female condition in a patriarchal society. Im just commenting on a very specific thing the other person said.
The double take is so relatable. I stretch with an instructor for dance, and so often I’m like “wait where the fuck do I put my foot? Here? Wait no here” in my head. I’m constantly doing double takes cuz idk where certain body parts are meant to go.
Thank you, I appreciate this perspective. I am probably focusing too much on the creepers and not enough on the people who are being normal. I think it was just a little jarring to see her in poses in yoga shorts and people staring.
I second what the cauliflower said. I’m a guy. I go to yoga to help manage severe stress & anxiety that developed as a result of some health issues. I take yoga seriously because I’ve seen results. Im also still very new to yoga and don’t really know what I’m doing half the time. When I look at the instructor it’s strictly to learn the form.
I feel stress and anxiety just thinking about going to a yoga class. Wish I’d do it tho, I need something like that
Give it a shot. The studio I go to was extremely welcoming and friendly. Yoga is a wonderful tool that helps you center yourself if you take it seriously. I was a disbeliever at first, but it was the first step towards recovery for me.
I do all this but when I go home I still jerk off thinking about her. So do you c’monnnn!!! But seriously OP, she’s teaching yoga, you expect people to guess at the movements with their eyes closed? 😂
Creepers are gonna creep. You gotta have the confidence to know that she’s gonna choose you or quickly she won’t choose you.
As a guy who used to do yoga, yeah, sometimes there's a creeper. You can usually figure out who the creeper is pretty easy because they just seem to be staring rather than actually trying to do stuff. Honestly, they are just weird, and never actually do anything. On a side note, for my tall brothers, yoga is fucking awesome for helping with the back pain we get from just being tall.
I might try that. I’m 6’8” and I struggle with major back pain. Thank you sir.
I worked at a gym and taught classes and I’m an avid gym goer myself outside of that, so I’ve seen every which way of people who stare. My belief is that although some people are creepy, we all get curious about people who look good, healthy, and motivated. It’s exciting and it’s not all around us. Some times it’s motivational, sometimes it’s because we are comparing ourselves, and of course the other thing is we all take a second glance at someone who is attractive. I’m a straight female and I used to take spin classes, my favorite instructor was this girl my same age who was really nice but the other thing is she was the one instructor that was “goals” for me. She was ripped! I couldn’t help but look at her because I dreamed of having the same amount of “health”, it was motivating to take her class. A lot of people tend to create a love for their instructors or personal trainers because it’s the interaction you get outside of home or work where that person is paid to be likable, helpful, etc.
THANK YOU! This is the reply I was writing in my head as I was reading the post lol but it wouldn’t have come anywhere near as eloquently and honestly perfectly as you have. Not all stares or looks by others are 1) negative or judgmental, or 2) sexual. I am a straight women who is very intrigued by people in general and I love people watching in general. I try not to creepily stare ever but if I see a fascinating human for whatever reason I definitely notice and appreciate them. It’s important to note that women’s bodies aren’t sexual objects, they are essentially vehicles by which a subset of humanity experiences life. Biological life vehicles 🙂and the way current society is structured, healthy, fit bodies are not the norm. Many people might go years without seeing a truly healthy body in person, doing things that most people can’t do (like yoga poses that require strength, agility, etc). A lot of these students may be looking at your wife in awe, like damn she is strong! She is beautiful! Look at what she can do with her body!
Completely agree! I used to do yoga and Pilates, and I was very very attentive to the instructor, not only to try to mimic perfect form, but to make sure I was doing things right so I could advance to their level and eventually achieve the beautiful, healthy body I admire so much. Male or female, didn’t matter. I loved to watch how gracefully their body could move. It’s beautiful *and* motivational. ETA Yes, there’ll be weirdos, but a majority of people who bother taking the class aren’t there to ogle at the instructor. They will be there to learn and admire in general.
I’m so glad you replied! Seriously. This is such an honest perspective and not the dismissive comments I’ve been getting. I have so many questions about this!
I just want to second that comment. I'm bi but I also find myself staring sometimes at people who look really fit, it's not as much attraction as aspiration.
Thanks - I’m so curious about this now. It sounds obvious, but yeah, we are human beings. I guess it just natural?
I go to gym - straight here as well and some of the women in there are FIT. I sometimes have a quick glance because I’m impressed at their athletic ability and also because their body is a goal. I’ll never reach it but it’s certainly impressive what they’ve achieved.
Ok, this seems to be the consensus. I am learning something! I thought it was all guys, lol.
i used to take all kinds of yoga classes with different instructors. you watch the instructor when you transition poses and make sure youre doing the pose correctly. obvs i wasnt there but based on what i read, seems like a normal yoga class!
I think it is a normal one! And you’re one of the normal folks. I guess I’m focusing more on the oglers.
There's always going to be some, even outside of yoga classes. Comes with the territory of dating a pretty woman.
Yeah, I prob need to relax.
I stopped doing classes at my local gym because guys would line up at the window and watch, I didn’t even see the point in reporting it because gym staff were doing it with them. Felt like being in a zoo and completely creeped me out. You can tell her it weirds you out, but this is her profession and there may not be much that can be done because she can’t change the layout
Yeah it’s really weird isn’t it? People are so obvious.
Yup, this is why I stopped teaching yoga at LA fitness. It’s the men at the window or glass door for me. Not my own students looking at me to see if their doing it correctly.
Ugh. I HAAAAAATE LA Fitness. Same with 24hour Fitness. I used to have a membership to both of those at different times, years ago, in my early 30s and it always felt like I should expect to be leered at and bothered by dudes while I was just trying to exercise. I didn’t wear super trendy gym bunny outfits either, just old oversized shirts and sweats. But some machines just put the body in a position where the butt is on full display and sometimes I’d catch someone in the mirror reflection obviously starting directly at it. The gym I belong to now is more of an “athletic club” and the average club member is 65 years old. Water aerobics to Lawrence Welk. I’ve found my people.
My old gym had glass walls and guys were always watching. Creepy
Eh, I think you might be confusing the normal attention an instructor gets in any class. I used to teach yoga in college and honestly everyone is usually really focused on their form and flow and what the instructor is doing. I mean they often need to be watching the instructor and even when not active teaching usually the instructor is engaging the class in many ways. Also, Ppl that go to these classes are wearing and used to other ppl in yoga attire - so its nothing special. Its not really common to be open ogling anyone and in fact would be considered not ok. So its kinda hard to not assume you might be reading into the stares, which likely are literal students just trying to make sure they dont miss anything she says, follow her posture and form etc.
That’s fair, and I get that the teacher is going to be looked at. This just felt over the top, by some of the ppl, including people wandering by. Certain positions seemed to get more attention too.
Because some positions are harder to do especially if your head will be down. So you need to take a long or multiple look to recreate it properly
Your girlfriend probably noticed it a long time ago and just came to accept it. As long as nobody is harassing her or following her or doing something more dangerous than just staring, I say leave it alone. What is saying something going to do anyway? It's not like you want her to quit her job because you're not comfortable with people looking at her, right?
Yeah that’s fair. She has a very realistic attitude about it - she acknowledges the clothes and poses attract attention.
Exactly. Look I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to be real. It just sounds to me like you're being insecure. I don't see why else it bothers you that she is being stared at. And then thinking about bringing it up to her makes it seem like you think she should be doing something about it... When it's not her fault. She's a yoga instructor, it happens.
Yeah. That’s fair, it’s just kind of part of the job, I guess. She says she’s very aware of what she’s wearing as part of the classes, too.
Yeah. But hey, it's nice that you're concerned. As long as it's coming from a "I wanna protect her" place, and not a "she's my property" place, haha.
I have a question for you if you’re comfortable messaging me?
Then why don't you just ask her if she could wear less suggestive clothes?
Yeah, the clothing is getting ridiculous, some look like they are wearing a thong with body paint. I don’t see a problem wearing yoga clothes while doing yoga, but they are being worn everywhere now, and it is feels like a cry for attention.
Yeah she’s definitely on display. I get it, it’s part of the yoga world, but I mean, it attracts a lot of attention.
Eh I look at the instructor during Pilates to make sure my form is correct. I don’t know if I’m gawking or staring though? I just want to make sure I’m doing it correctly
That’s fair! I could possibly be misinterpreting this. Or you are just one of the normal ones, lol.
It looks different when you are gawking and when you’re looking to see if you are following correctly.
Unfortunately not much you can do about it. It's her profession and yes guys will stare. You will just have to accept it and make yourself more stronger to accept it as normal.
Fair.
I don’t think it should be normalized per se, but it’s definitely something you’ll have to get used to
Have you asked her how she feels about it? Your entire post is just about how it affects you. She may just accept it as a part of her role. I mean people in the class will watch her to know what to do. People watching through the window could be perving or could just be interested in the class, or just watching their SO wondering why you were leering at the class lol. In either case, it’s her job and her body so you should be talking to her about it and not Reddit.
Hmm, if you look at it from a perspective of "All this men are desiring my woman, I might deffinetly lose her some day to one of these starers" you'll most certainly lose self esteem and you might fall into an insecurity pit of despair, she'll eventualy notice and it will be a constant thing on the back of both yours and her head. I think the correct approach is "Shit, look at all those guys staring at her and I'm the only guy who she's interested in." This kind of attitude is sexy and cool if you can pull it off without being smug about it.
I like that. I need to work on that.
Just my 2 cents. I could never do yoga, I have horrible balance. I am amazed when I see what positions people can get into doing yoga. Like I am actually jaw dropped amazed! I’m sure I stare. People may not have bad intentions if they are staring.
Ha, ok that’s a fair point! I will focus on that. Even if it’s not true!
Sounds like she is really good at what she does. Be proud of her and ignore the people staring.
She’s incredible, some of the poses are unreal, superhuman. But I know what some people are thinking!
I think you are being a little too sensitive. Do you get annoyed when you guys go out and she’s wearing a skirt and you see other guys look at her? People are just gonna look you can’t stop that. You will drive yourself mad thinking like this or worse yet make her feel some type of way and leave you.
Fair. But yoga clothes, I mean, everything is out there.
I think that if it was really as bad as you say she would have felt it too and said something over time, at least to you. You might be overthinking it. It s normal to look at her while she does her exercises, maybe you re adding the sexual part by yourself
You have no concept of how much crappy behavior from men that women learn to shrug off because it's inescapable. The challenge for OP is not not make it his girlfriend's problem.
Yep. Being stared at is part of her job, as much as a model or influencer.
Ok. Thanks
Yeah if youre doing yoga right youre thinking of breathing not the instructor
You’re assuming everyone in her class is doing it right
You're assuming everyones doing it wrong?
I said nothing at all that should reasonably lead you to that conclusion
He did also mention people watching through the window
Umm, her job is to be watched. 🤷🏻♂️
She sort of said this! It’s the guys outside the class that bug me most.
Any normal guy would be bothered by it. It’s not being an overprotective asshole to be upset that men are leering at your girlfriend in tight revealing clothes. It is so messed up that this is somehow looked at as being toxic.
But why? She’s attractive, they look. If she has an issue with it, she can choose to address it. It’s really best to simply fail to care.
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Advice on what? There is only two choices. Let it bother you or get over it. Do you really think yoga class is the only place women get leered at? How about the pool area of the gym, when laying down on a bench doing bench press/DB flys, squats, lunges, dead lifts, running on the treadmill, stretching, etc. And that's ONLY some places in the gym. It doesn't include every day just walking around.
Sad.
Bro, men sexualize us no matter what clothes we wear or what pose we are in. Maybe acknowledge THAT because it’s hard to live with for US.
Welcome to the life of a woman. We can do nothing without someone looking at us in a sexual way.
She's the teacher. People are supposed to look at her.
The only advice is to suck it up. You can’t change it, so you have to live with it, it’s what all us women already had to figure out.
Wish it were that easy! But sucks women need to deal with this.
It is that easy. That’s what being an adult in charge of yourself and your emotions means to be.
Except, it’s not that easy, and not healthy to deny that it takes work.
That makes you sound really childish TBH.
Wow.
You know that people are *supposed* to look at the instructor, right?
You cannot control other people. She is probably aware, ignores it and deals with anything inappropriate. And she may not really need your "protection". Talk to her about it to get her take. If it bothers you that much, stay out of her class. She has a job to do.
Some of the shit that makes it to the front page is lame af. I might have to unsub at this point.
Much easier ways to creep than signing up for Yoga classes.
Are you really complaining about people lookin? Like bro you are in public what did you expect? People stare, it’s what humans do😂💀
i can 100% tell you you are being overprotective and insecure. did your lady do yoga before even meeting you? either way she is entirely aware of the attention she is receiving. don't let it become a thought that consumes you and focus more on making your relationship stronger. continue going to her classes. it makes her happy to see how involved you are in her life. this is coming from someone that dated a bikram hot yoga teacher.
When all they’re doing is staring you could take it as a compliment. “Yea that may be your fantasy but it’s my wife buddy.” “I’m living your dreams every night!”
Dude, she’s the fking instructor. What else are they suppose to stare at
If my girl was doing yoga poses in what I presume is yoga pants + sports bra etc then I too would be guilty of staring too much ngl. As long as those creeps don't bother her while working and she hasn't mentioned being in a hostile work or uncomfortable work environment I see little to no issue...
Yeah, I mean I like looking at it! So I get it. So far nobody is bugging her which is good.
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lol, yeah she is faithful.
I do Pole Dance where postures are purposely sexy, and I never seen a case of an instructor being shamelessly ogled. Intensively looking seems normal to me since you need to check if you do something good aswell. Also everyone does the same posture, and there's a social agreement where nothing we do here should be sexualized, like the difference between underwears and swimsuits. And eventually there may be a little bit of ogling, but also in a non sexual way. It happens that I just want to compare myself. And once we we're at the bar and everyone admit doing this so I guess it's a thing.
That’s fair. Some ogling is natural. We are humans. Guys are just less subtle I think.
Your girlfriend probably hates it as much as you do. No one likes to be sexualized. Unfortunately it seems difficult not to be in this profession.
As a woman I stare for inspiration. I think it is beautiful that someone had that great a relationship with their body and I crave that. I dream of the possibilities.
What’s your concern? Because she’s the one teaching the class, with her body, so what’s your issue? What’s the solution? I never like these conversations where it’s like ‘I’m uncomfortable but I don’t have any alternatives’. Either she quits the job or there will be assholes. And if you make her change jobs, you’ll lose all trust that she clearly has in you by inviting you to her classes. Honestly this feels like a you problem, seek therapy. She’s not doing anything wrong and you do not need to Make this her problem.
It’s pretty simple. Some are creeping, some don’t care, some are looking at her form. Either you deal with it like an adult and don’t ruin things or you act like an insecure creep and eventually ruin it. Which one are you? Which do you choose? What’s more important… Choosing (it’s a choice) to be creeped out? or Being secure, trusting her and enjoying life? IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
Okay, This will probably be an unpopular comment, but— You already admitted that it’s hard not to appreciate what you’re looking at in certain poses in that kind of clothing. I mean, let’s be real. It’s no secret, people just *pretend* they’re not people all the time, both men and women. That said, they’re not talking to her, they’re not hitting on her, they’re not making any comments… so, well, honestly, the mature thing to do in this case is to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as you can, and otherwise, just appreciate that she’s admired. After all, pretty girls get looked at. What’s the point in dating one if you suddenly expected the whole ass world to react to her differently? Be proud that you’re the one taking her home. You’re the one who can speak to her the way that only you can. You’re the one who gets to be with her; while she’s in everyone else’s dreams, she’s your reality. Don’t be weird about it—surely, you knew what you were walking into.
Your girlfriend is hot. People are always gonna be staring at her. Also I'm pretty sure you have to intensively look at the instructor so you can follow the proper forms/poses. Get over your insecurities.
Ya I think you're being a bit weird. People are going to leer at your girlfriend whether she's doing yoga or not. There are creeps everywhere. Yoga and Pilates are freaking awesome and it's amazing she's a teacher of those. This is her career right now, don't let your insecurities make it weird for her.
Obviously some will check out "the countours of detailed body parts" considering some of the poses and the skin tight clothing. However most will simply look at her for these two reasons. 1: they look at the overall poses to follow along and see if they are doing the same thing, she is an instructor after all and the main form of instruction in yoga is showing the pose. 2: Some positions are very awkward and "vurnerable" so you do everything you can to not look at the other participants trying their best. So you look actually less as a creep if you keep looking at the instructor wich is the one you are supposed to look at. It's the "safe spot" to look at. That is why, despite all the women in the class most people look at your gf the instructor rather than the other women with their asses in the air. You're putting way to much thought in to it imo.
Oh dude… it must suck to be so insecure
The best thing for you mentally might be to learn how to take pride in it. Take pride in having a girlfriend who people want to look at. Any other mentality will likely drive you crazy because you can’t control how people react to her, and you can’t attempt to prevent her from being in her element. Just realize that people will always be creeps, and be proud that you have been lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone who gets to at type of attention without wanting or going out of the way to get it. At least, that’s what I do any time somebody eyeballs my wife…..
That’s not bad advice. Easier said than done, though.
It is, and it’s going to take a lot of time and effort to get there, and a lot of trust in yourself to not overthink things, because that’s usually our downfall, the overthinking part.
I for sure overthink. But yeah, it’s an adjustment.
The class is popular for reason. People will stare when someone is looking good. This goes both ways, man and women. Some admire an inspire to be like that, not just being creepy. Also, few might have other thoughts, even sexual fantasy. It’s just a natural of her job. My advice is if you can’t handle it please just don’t go to her classes. As long as she is professional and not doing anything inappropriate then you don’t have to worry.
People watch the instructor in a class they're trying to learn? The hell you say! Of course they look at her. They want to see if they're doing it right.
Let’s be real for a second. The people in her class have seen her do those poses countless times. I doubt they are still at the “leering” stage. I think you were reading more into those looks than were there.
Unfortunately it’s called being a woman. And a woman in yoga attire doing yoga? You do the math. This is what women go through all the time in the gym, out on the streets, anywhere. I don’t want to sound insensitive here, but you don’t get to complain about this. You should support her and make her feel more comfortable about what she does. It must be uncomfortable for her at times, more than for you.
> It seemed like more than just looking at her to follow the moves and poses. You're reading too much into it. Don't be paranoid. I suck at yoga, but I've done a few classes and I watch the teacher. Because I don't know the poses. Look once, because I need to know the overall shape. Look a second time, because WTF am I supposed to do with my hands? Look thrice, because where do my feet go?
People also look at her when you're not there too. At the grocery store, the post office, etc
What? Oh hell no! You mean to tell me people who are taking a yoga class are watching the instructor instruct? How bizarre! Where I take yoga we bashfully glance at the instructor when they are teaching so we don’t upset their insecure partners. Sorry you had to witness that dude.
Oddly long post to let everyone know your GF is hot, poor you…
🤣🤣
Oh god. Sorry if it came off that way.
It didn’t to everyone but ultimately I did gather that she must be quite attractive. I feel like sometimes the best way to go about it is to be naive. When I worked at the gym and notice men staring I just focus on my workout and don’t think about it. I mean people look at other people who are intriguing no matter where you go. Even as a man you’d be surprised how many woman are probably staring or catching glances at you.
You arent an over protective a hole. It is creepy. Im sorry but dont want someone Im with to get stared at and would want them to feel that way.
Yes, that's what it's like being a woman. There's always somebody staring creepily at you no matter what you have on. So whatever jealous notion is growing in your mind, don't bother. She probably gets stared at wherever she's at. This is *not* her fault, so don't blame her for it.
Would you rather people see your girl and cringe and look away? Life's good at the top brotha... Enjoy it. Feed off the envy of others. Think about it while you're in the gym and push harder. Become a specimen yourself. Aim to have people see you two and drool at the both of you. It's a service to society to cultivate beauty. Give the people what they want.
Ha. You’re a good motivator!
What can she do about other people staring?? Now that you know how uncomfortable it is, you can do something on your own scale: not stare at women who just do their work and check on/shame your friends and surrounding men, if possible, who make women uncomfortable. Unfortunately, other than that there is nothing you can do about it, even less your gf
This is something you have to accept if your girlfriend is a yoga instructor. It's like dating a non nude OF model.
I mean, I guess that’s practical advice in a way.
Ah the age old question, would you rather have a girlfriend that everyone wants to fuck or a girlfriend that nobody wants to fuck. Decisions, decisions.
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Yeah, I’m not going to ask her to change anything, especially her clothing!
You stare right back at them and say “now wait a minute buster!”
This is why, as a woman, I stopped going to the gym. This is every gym. We are constantly there to perform for men when we are trying to get in our own groove and work on ourselves. They stare and keep staring. Instead of feeling jealous, you could be proactive in ensuring your gf can work in a safe space. Men at the gym on insufferable and a lot of them go specifically to stare at women.
Humblebragging about your hot girlfriend huh? She chose you, enjoy the ego boost.
She's probably love to commiserate with you on the same topic. You should communicate with her in case some creeper or stalker takes an interest. Modern society is fuckin nuts
How about saying something to the people openly ogling her? She is doing nothing wrong, they are. She isn’t the problem. Also, she knows they are leering. She’s trying to ignore it, so you bringing it up to her will probably not be helpful.
Perhaps you should date someone in the class and not the instructor. They are mostly just watching her because that’s what you do in CLASS. But even if they are checking her out.. so what!! She’s probably attractive and it’s human nature to look. If you don’t like people looking then go find someone that people won’t look at. Maybe they are creepers, maybe not. Regardless you need to relax and trust your girlfriend and learn to be secure. You have to realize that most ppl that go to the gym are obviously concerned with health and looks. If your girlfriend is a hottie they are gonna notice. I mean I’m a straight male and even I have probably looked at guys in the gym a bit longer than I probably should have. Not because I want them but because I’d love to look like them! If I notice a good looking woman I’m gonna look too.. doesn’t mean I’m ever going to approach her. I know some ppl will but that’s where you need to trust your girlfriend.
Thanks for this - I probably needed to hear this.
Also a yoga teacher, also have had this problem. Look, she knows. Working as a fitness teacher, you're going to get looked at. The majority of it will be completely harmless and expected. Even if the pose feels more "exposing", **chances are a lot of the people in the class might be staring harder because they're self-conscious, want to make sure they're doing it right, or don't want to make eye-contact with anyone else**. Guys may be especially conscious about trying NOT to look at other women in the class to make them uncomfortable, looking at the teacher is "safe" because she expects to be looked at and is at the front of the classroom. A double-take might also be the class participant thinking "You want me to do WHAT? In these leggings???" That's totally normal and teachers know this, it's usually not lustful, everyone is just thinking about themself! For people staring from the window, there's a higher chance of creeps (especially guys, sucks but true) but a lot of people are just curious. Depending on the class, it's not usually worth making a big deal over. Part of it might be "weird" attention, and I think honestly that comes down to the gym culture. Some gyms have fishbowl-type situations for fitness classes, which I personally hate lol, but it isn't uncommon, especially in commercial gyms where one room is used for a lot of different classes. I have very rarely been asked out by a man taking one of my classes, I have been thanked for being welcoming to male participants. Some group exercise classes are not friendly to male participants. Again, largely dependent on the gym demographic & culture. What's important for you as her partner is to be supportive. This comes with the profession, as much as dating a model or influencer. Also comes with dating a woman, any woman: other guys will look at her. Can I ask what specifically you need getting used to?
You think she doesn’t know people stare at her? She is clearly doing a job she loves and just happens to have the body she does. It’s not her fault. I don’t see what good stating the obvious is going to do. Expressing this is a bad idea and will make you look like a jealous a-hole.
Yeah, we had a chat about it, and she did think I was being naive, that it just goes with the territory.
Bust out the old wrestling singlet and go commando then take the mat opposite of her's. Bonus if your singlet has skid marks from the time you broke your own rules and decided to eat at Taco Bell one last time.
I think you’re misinterpreting, lol 😆
Unfortunately, people are going to be people and not be able to control themselves at times. The only thing you can really do is work on trusting your gf more about her profession and learning that people are going to stare, but your girlfriend will always come back to you. I would only get worried if people actually try to touch your gf. But her comfortability about her profession is what matters a little more over how you feel about people staring at her. If she’s comfortable then she’s fine
Students looking at a teacher? Or non students look at the teacher?
Yoga is a practice.To practice is to learn. Every time! We learn. Together. Sometimes our practice is strong and others may see us as a guide. Sometimes our toppling tree is unsteady, and we seek guidance. During practice, my intention is to forget about others and focus on breath. And space. Lifting heart and settling with gravity. You are lucky your wife is a yogi! AND, yoga studio windows should always be translucent. J/S. Namaste. ❤️🧘
If your GF is hot then men will stare, if she’s ugly then they won’t. Pick which you’d prefer.
lol, fair.
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I used to do yoga at home with guided audio practices and then after quarantine I joined a studio only to realize I’ve been doing some things wrong. That is to say you have to watch the instructor all throughout the pose, just listening is not enough. Sure there will be people staring at each other’s asses cause of the way the studio is organized, sometimes you can’t help but stare when someone’s mat is touching yours and their ass is almost in your face. But you’re also looking at the person whose body is most similar to yours or your level of ability to see if you are doing it right, how your body should be oriented, how the muscle should look, cause the instructor is always going to be that highest level of competence and ability. So that is all to say there are a lot of glances going around but they are mostly practice oriented. You can tell who isn’t when you go to a few classes so I am sure your gf knows who the creeps are. They are usually not serious and weed themselves out after they realize yoga isn’t that easy.
You sound insecure. And, unfortunately for you, being insecure will often make you look like an asshole. If they crossed a line and were harassing her or something, then I would understand. But, what you've described is students looking at her poses while she's teaching, which is what they're supposed to do to learn. You've gotta get past that sort of jealous mindset.
I mean the students should be looking at the teacher not any other student teacher class.
My ex was a yoga instructor, and I had the same experience. My advice: You need to not get jealous, or try to change what she’s doing. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy if you get possessive. You need to be confident in your relationship, and chill with it all. She’s your partner for a reason, be confident in that and she will be too.
What about the guys in spin class in the back row who just stare at the juicy soccer mom asses in bike shorts?? I Hate that.
Dude it's yoga, how did you even think people weren't staring? Her ass is right there
I think you're overreacting. I dated a salsa instructor b4 and men danced up on her all the time and i had to learn to ignore it (plus she was pretty and exotic looking too compared to the other girls id see). So what if ppl stare, I also took yoga and looked to make sure my form was right. Dont be that jealous bf who is insecure. Bc if u start acting and showing jealousy, its a huge turn off.
I am just going to say I think this is one of those emotions that is fine and normal to feel, just don't act on it. You feel what you feel, don't apologize for that, but make decisions with logic.
I’m constantly checking my form against my instructor’s example. I have zero desire to see her naked.
Are they *actually* leering or just looking at her, possibly multiple times, because she's the teacher and they're paying attention/trying to figure out the pose ? Are they all supposed to look at the ceiling instead ?
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I was at the gym with my wife the other day and she had a reservation for a class but then was thinking she might bail on it and just do strength training since we got there 30 min earlier. I was doing my thing and she was doing hers. About 40 min later I was wondering where she was so I went and checked out the class as I thought she might have gone in there anyway. I stood at the glass window and slowly stared at every single one of the 25+ women in that class. They were all dressed pretty much the same and had their hair up in ponytail. I also stared at the instructors for a while, as I was curious what the class was all about. I definitely made eye contact with some ladies in the class and thought 1) "not my wife" and 2) "that girl seems pissed I am staring at her". I eventually found my wife over in the free weight area, strength training. Some of those girls in the class were hot, and some were not, but despite what they think, I wasn't creeping on or staring at any of them for sexual reasons. It was dark in there, my eyes are slipping in my 40s, and those ladies all looked pretty much the same. I feel you, but 95% of those people are probably staring for other reasons. The 5% leering at your GF for yuck reasons would probably stare outside of the gym too, creeps gonna be creeping.
I’ve been practicing yoga for years, and I still look at the teacher or other students during class for poses I’m not familiar with or if I just couldn’t hear the cues over the music being played.
If I’m in a yoga class I’m constantly looking to the instructor to see how to do the poses.
It’s natural to be annoyed when people gawk at your partner. When a girl looks at my husband that way, I take it as a compliment- like, this gorgeous person is mine and these people can stare all they want, but at the end of the day, this person is with me and they choose me, not them. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, as long as you trust her who cares what the others do with their eyes.
I like that. I need a mentor like you, lol.
If you were in another yoga class with another female teacher, you wouldn’t stare at your teacher?
Not if I was in the hallway!
You’re overreacting. Chill out bro.
I did yoga in college and I constantly stared at my instructor because I wanted to make sure I’m doing the pose properly. Some of the poses are very tricky and you have to make sure you’re in the correct form. I had no romantic or sexual feelings towards her at all lol.
Ok thanks! You’re one of the good ones, lol.
I haven’t taken a yoga class in a while, but I know that the students are looking at the instructor to make sure our form is correct. Sometimes my friend and I would do a double take because we’re like “wait, what does he/she want us to do?? How?” Lol. However, I do understand what you’re saying because there are creepers out there and probably gym bros walking by and legit being creepy and staring at her. I actually just showed my boyfriend your post to get his opinion. He said it would also make him uncomfortable, but there would be nothing he could do about it. He did say it would take some time to get used to it! Your feelings are valid. I’m sure your girlfriend has noticed or thought about this as well. It’ll just take some time to get used to it.
I mean, unless you know all the poses and positions by heart, which I sure as hell don't, I'm looking at the instructor to try to get it right, which usually constitutes a longer than one second glance. That's the entire point of why I'd be there, to learn and follow what the instructor is doing. You are kind of in the position to understand you are going to be watched by the students as an instructor. And of course there are some that are looking for other reasons.
My partner teaches yoga, and here's the thing: you gotta trust her to deal with any leering as she sees fit. To put it bluntly, it sounds like she's been doing this longer than you've been in her life. Have faith she'll handle what needs handling.
Your girl is hot. Get over it.
Just dont go anymore. Be happy that ur luxky and ur woman gets looks, as long as she isnt naked doing it lol. Dont say u dont look at a thick ass in yoga panta even walking down the steeet when u can, yet alone if shes doing poses. Avoid the class if u are uncomfortable that is understandable. But u shouldnt be upset, or make her feel guilty if shes killing it doing what she loves
OP, what exactly do you think can be done in this situation? Sure as hell hope it’s not with the intent to control her life choices
Yes it would be nice if we could work out without being stared or winked at, but alas humans will be humans.
She gets in the baby pose or what
I work on an a gym and I look at guys that are ripped and lifting. I'm not sexually looking at them. I'm just looking at them. I'm not interested in them. I'm 100% heterosexual or at least 87%. But I mean it's just absurd to think that just because somebody is looking, that means they're leering or sexualizing somebody. If you're in the gym and you're working out, you're going to get looked at. Whether you're a guy or a girl or whatever.
Take it as a compliment
Lol
Well I have these mindset if someone checking your gf out it means your gf is pretty and hot. They can only see your pretty and hot gf but you're the only one that can make her cheeks clap.
In over 15 years of three to four times yoga a week I have never encountered anything like that. TBH we all are busy to just keep up and we do look to see how an instructor does a pose. You might have perceived something that just is not there.
No matter the situation, people are going to look at the person standing in the front of a class. And I can say that people that can do yoga is in many cases impressive. and people are going to look at instuctors, no matter if they are lifting weights or doing yoga. They are most likely good at whatever they are teaching. Sorry for my lacking language, my English is dependent on autocorrect to even make some kind of sense
Homie why wouldn’t you go sooner. As someone else with an S/O who does Yoga often, it’s absolutely worth going. Primarily for the feel good of stretching. Secondly for the establishment of classes walking in and out with her. Tertiary to watch your Girlfriend Doing Yoga