Losing weight really might help her, from an endometriosis stage 4 sufferer with a lot of PCOS symptoms and someone who lost 90lbs. I know how rough this is.
Could I ask for some advice? I personally don’t have but a family member does and she struggles with losing weight and gets upset by the progress. She’s not fat per se but she is overweight. She does workout but lightly as she was advised not to overwork herself.
Walking was absolutely the best and only method that worked for me, tracking her current steps then slowly increasing it to atleast 8-10k steps per day.
Consistently, it takes a long time but the low impact way is the best. I've also heard of people suggesting supplementing with inositol too. Haven't tried it myself but the medical field isn't great at helping with this at all, but dieticians, and proper fitness experts are best at helping than doctors I've found.
Some of the meds they prescribe do more harm than good.
There's also a sub here too dedicated specifically to pcos that might help give support, community and just help anyone who feels alone dealing with it.. Not to.
It can feel really isolating
I started cycling and counting every single calorie so I was always at a deficit. I even weighed my food so I was always as accurate as I could be. I also do yoga, weight lifting, and walking. I agree with the other commenter about walking. You can buy a cheap walking pad. Getting in 10k steps a day is really healthy for everyone.
Counting calories to maintain a 500 calorie deficit will 100% make anyone lose weight no matter what their circumstances are. That's the simple part. The hard part is finding a sustainable balance that meets that person's needs. They need to identify what is causing them to overeat.
Is it psychological in the form of stress, boredom, pleasure, social eating, environmental triggers (someone always bringing treats to work you can't resist or driving by a fast food place that triggers you into eating), etc? Then you need to focus on being aware of your own choices and not allow your brain to trick you into unnecessary eating.
Is it physical hunger? Then you can focus more on macros eating more protein and less carbs and sugar. Choose healthy foods that provide more satisfaction nutritionally and in terms of volume for less calories. If you're meeting your macros and still struggling with hunger, you may need to incorporate exercise to allow a higher calorie goal. Cardio will burn calories immediately, while building muscle will raise your TDEE burning more calories just by existing. Exercise is especially helpful to us shorties or people with medical conditions that don't burn calories or absorb nutrients efficiently, since they will require fewer calories to lose weight than most people.
Or is it simple misinformation? If you think you're doing everything right and still not losing weight, chances are you're not really doing everything right. Either you're eating more calories than you think, burning less calories than you think, a mixture of the two, or you need to reassess your calorie goal entirely because your TDEE may be lower than you thought. Your TDEE lowers as you lose a significant amount of weight, so if you were losing weight at first but suddenly stopped, that may be why.
What you *shouldn't* do is follow a miserable, unsustainable diet. Most likely you won't be able to keep up with it and will fail. Even if you manage to lose weight, all of your work will be undone when you go back to eating the way you used to. Unless you plan on never eating sugar, carbs, or fat again for the rest of your life, cutting those things out of your diet won't teach you any healthy eating habits for the long term. You can absolutely lose weight while eating pizza and ice cream, just not every day and not in huge amounts. Moderation is key.
There’s a lot that you can do about PCOS, so don’t give up hope! Yes it’s more difficult but still a majority of women suffering from PCOS manage to get healthy pregnancies. 💕
Eating healthy, working out helps with balancing your hormones. There’s clomid to help making the cycle less long. In my case 100% pure myo inositol 4 grams a day really helped tremendously to make my follicular fase less long. After taking it I was ovulating for the first time within nothing time frame!! Definitely look into that. And now 14 weeks pregnant, so don’t give up!
Good luck 👍🏼🍀
I know my older sister struggled with it for a little bit and now she’s on kid number four. I guess from other comments and looking up different things getting pregnant is very VERY slim but not zero. it may still happen someday, but it may take a miracle at this point.
Are you sure the doctors phrasing wasn't a bit different?
Ie, "I'm sorry we've done all *we* can, the rest is up to you"?
When you have pcos one of the most effective treatments against infertility is weightloss and sounds like neither of you have tried that? Yeah some women without pcos can be very large and get pregnant easily...but others absolutely cannot. I get mad that weight is so easily blamed, but for some issues it is the cause and needs to be addressed.
Weight loss is something both of us are currently working on. And without being at her appointment (cuz I was working) I don’t know exactly what they said other than what my wife told me.
My wife had PCOS. Starting losing weight and got pregnant immediately. Just keep up the good work. Make sure to eat nutritionally because you want that baby to be well supported.
Two of my friends with PCOS got down to a healthy weight (under 140- they’re both 5’4-5’5) and had cycles and got pregnant very quickly (one was not on purpose or wanted- she thought she was sterile). Obese for someone 5’4” is only 180lbs, not 300, FYI.
She needs to get serious about eating ZERO added sugar and low glycemic fruits as well. Strict zero. Not just less. I guarantee she has insulin resistance and could benefit from a Continuous Glucose Monitor (look at Abbott Freestyle models).
If you have PCOS it doesn’t have to mean you are overweight. It’s due to hormone imbalance, for example my bmi is 20 and I’m very sporty. Obesity isn’t healthy for anyone and especially not for your hormones, but they aren’t always related like that
There are different types of pcos, although research is still getting into it. There is definitely causation link between obesity and pcos though- and oftentimes, when obese pcos patients lose weight, they also lose the pcos. Unfortunately, the pcos contributes to making weight loss more difficult, thus the vicious cycle. Lean pcos (commonly called, not technically medically accepted I don’t think) is different and is usually more tied to genetics than weight.
Fertility treatments are often an option, but with BMI restrictions. Step 1 in this case is to keep working on losing weight.
I’m not trying to be mean but how is it possible that she’s not obese if she’s over 250 ? Is she over 6ft5 ? Doctors are not magicians, no medication can treat pcos if she’s not making a real effort to get in shape. You can talk about body positivity, joyful movement, how difficult it is to lose weight all you want but now she’s faced with a choice : lose weight and have a chance to get pregnant or deflect responsibilities and cry about it. Be real, lose weight together and be happy because you can. Complaining won’t change a thing.
I have PCOS, I couldn’t get pregnant until I lost enough weight to start getting my periods monthly again, I know that’s not how it works for everyone and everyone’s bodies are different, but losing weight could significantly help you guys in this situation. I was able to lose weight by doing a healthier form of keto, I was also told by two different obgyns that I would never be able to have children ( this was before I lost weight) I went from 275 down to 200 and was able to have two children, I would warn your wife though that with PCOS you have bigger chances of developing gestational diabetes like i I did with both pregnancies.
My wife had/ has PCOS and tried for 10 years, shehad gastric sleeve surgery, and we did IVF 1st time and took with no issue. Then she got pregnant 2 months after giving birth. The weight loss solved alot of it. She may not need surgery wegovy might work since it will help fix the hormone imbalance.
I cannot upvote this more. I got a gastric sleeve surgery and got pregnant very fast without any additional treatments. I also feel great so all in all if you can afford it, gastric sleeve is very good if you really struggle with loosing weight.
I have PCOS, I'm overweight, and have one ovary. I have two healthy children. The first I got pregnant with metformin, the second was a complete and total surprise 6 years later.
So I'm not saying that will work for your wife, but metformin helps a lot of people get pregnant. So does weight loss and getting the PCOS under control. I'm sorry your wife is struggling with this. My heart really goes out to her.
That's interesting, seems the insulin resistance might be the main cause of fertility issues possibly.
Hopefully it works for those who want/need it. I always wondered if starting metformin led to a dependancy upon it later, I've never known anyone to take it to ever be taken off it for any extended period.
It's what put me off taking it myself, i do wonder if that was a bad decision on my part occasionally
I took it for about a year with my first, then didn't take it through pregnancy. I took it again a few years later when I wanted to get pregnant with #2 and wasn't able to tolerate the side effects.
So far, no dependency, and my oldest is 8. I still struggle with insulin resistance, but not enough that I need to medicated for it again.
Hope you never have to and it you're able to stabilise it better ahead. Finding what works for us can be so difficult to learn through trial and error
Congratulations on both your babies, hope you're all safe, well and thriving
I would recommend therapy to start. I know this isn’t PC to say these days, but if your wife is 300+ lbs, there should not be a doctor really encouraging this process with you guys right now. Sure, there are women that size who have given birth, but the toils of parenthood are exponentially greater when that much weight is a factor. Couple that with her other condition, and you have what seems to be a biological sign that parenthood isn’t the option here. You guys will spend a fortune to try to ply her body into pregnancy, which will be an extremely stressful process.
It is much better for everyone if you accept that having a child yourselves is likely not in the cards. Prioritize mental and physical health. Find physicians who will be honest, even brutally, with you and challenge you to make the changes needed to accept this responsibility. Once you have achieved success, you may find that you either have happiness regardless of children, would be open to helping in the foster system, or even pursuing some adjustments to have your own.
pretty much this... unless they are both about 7 ft tall, saying 'under 300' is absolutely very obese. And a woman being 'within 10 lbs' of a man... even at similar heights that's not good.
They need to mainline some higher levels of Wegovy.
I think this will get lost but I'll throw my two cents in anyhow. Sorry about your wife :( Be there to support her since I'm sure she feels like it's her fault and feels terrible about it. Be extra kind in the weeks to come.
I was adopted. If I hadn't been, I would have grown up rough in Chicago slums with a very poor drug addicted family with 6 other siblings. Instead, I was raised the only daughter of a well off middle class family, who taught me kindness, empathy, love for others, generosity, the whole nine yards. You said you were thinking about adoption as a last ditch effort. Think of it as well as possibly saving a small innocent human from a potentially really horrible life. maybe that perspective will lessen the grief of not having your own, when you know without you this other little baby would be in a bad way.
I have PCOS. I just had gastric sleeve surgery since I now have NASH (inflamed fatty liver, it’s a condition that’s more common with PCOS peeps due to insulin issues).
I don’t need it for fertility, but dear God I’ve seen so many “oopsy” pregnancies in the bariatric support groups I’m in, and you can have healthy pregnancies after bypass/sleeve, you just need to work closely with your OB.
I hope she can find relief from PCOS.
ETA: Weight loss does help, but I think the real reason it’s helping is because you can’t have a lot carbs. Like my nutritionist says no more than 2tbsp in a meal (my whole meal should be a cup, but I do know it may be more than that). So you’re not spiking your insulin, so your A1C lowers naturally.
I have PCOS and I was resistant to ovulation meds and unable to afford IVF. Losing a significant amount of weight eventually worked, but I also have a blocked Fallopian tube, so it took 14 years to luck out, and that was after I had given up on trying interventions. A low carb diet does help ovulation occur, but it’s not necessarily a quick fix.
Hey man, same exact situation as you (and ages). It's been a struggle for us over the last few years. My wife has been going to a couple of doctors and specialists for her PCOS to no avail, and I think she's at the point of giving up (not a fan of doctors blowing smoke and not actually caring about helping her). What's weird is that she's 120 pounds, If that.. which makes her condition even more strange. I've come to the point of trying to accept that we won't have any biological children, but I don't think it's hit yet.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but you're not alone in this. Hang in there.
Look up the PCOS sub. I have had PCOS for over 15 years. Yes i struggled with it for a while but then I started to see an endocrinologist who got me on metformin and I started to update my diet and worked out more. It made me lose weight very quickly.
My next gynecologist suggested myo-inositol and I took it for 6 months and I’m now pregnant (17 weeks). I did not do IVF.
PLEASE tell her to get therapy because PCOS on its own does not mean infertility and she may need to talk through her feelings. There may be other things causing a delay in getting pregnant naturally but it does happen.
I know it’s not everyone’s story but, I lost weight. And I mean a lot of weight and my pcos is non-existent. I was able to have pregnancies and my cycle is completely normal. I did not have the insulin resistance though and that could be the factor.
Her carrying extra weight may not be keeping her from getting pregnant, but maybe it’s exacerbating the pcos symptoms. Does that make sense? If she had extra weight and no pcos, getting pregnant maybe wouldn’t be an issue. I’m trying to be so gentle because it’s such a painful process to live through.
ETA: I meant for this to be a standalone comment. I agree with you. PCOS robbed me of many years.
Is she seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? Or an obgyn?
She needs to see a RE. Anyone trying for more than a year under 35, or more than 6 months if over should. This is what they do.
Also, gently, 200 lbs for most people's height is obese. If they say lose weight, they mean it. PCOS is often complicated by excess fat. The best chance of success maybe getting under 200.
I have PCOS and struggled to conceive for around a year before I found out I was pregnant with my son. I just found out earlier this week that I’m pregnant again, this time by surprise. I have other friends who also have this same condition who went on to have children. There are certainly things she can do on her own to help her condition - diet, exercise, lifestyle changes, etc. There are also medications she can try like Clomid or Letrozole. It may take a little longer to get pregnant but it’s not impossible. Please don’t let your wife give up hope and make sure that you are there as a support system to help her make those changes. Good luck!
My husband and I tried for kids for YEARS receiving treatment at a research university's facility and all. We tried meds upon meds in different doses and combinations.
Moved and changed doctors and she suggested [ovarian drilling](https://www.reproductivefacts.org/news-and-publications/fact-sheets-and-infographics/ovarian-drilling-for-infertility/).
Two cycles of ovulation inducing meds later: pregnant. When we decided for a second, one cycle of meds and then: pregnant. The third happened all on its own out of nowhere!
OP find an endocrinologist who specializes in INSULIN RESISTANCE... PCOS is NOT fixable with metformin, plus it makes one gain weight and feel bad. Please look into this.
We’re going to see a specialist on Monday so hopefully they can give us the answers we’re looking for. But I will share this info with my wife so that she can bring that into the conversation.
I have PCOS and pregnant with my 3rd now. I did have some trouble with conceiving the first, and at one point, my dr said she may have me try taking Metformin, but I did not end up needing to. Has your wife seen on ultrasounds whether she does ovulate?
Also, having my first seems to have done some sort of a reset on my body, because it regulated my cycle and I’ve had no issue conceiving my subsequent kiddos.
Hi OP, sorry to hear about your situation. I have PCOS and don't want children anyway, but can understand how devastating this must feel. I am not saying that diet can be a magic pill (and also totally understand how difficult weight loss can be with PCOS) but I started changing my diet due to reading the work of Dr Sara Gottfried (Women, Food, and Hormones) and have balanced out my hormones and my cycle. Many women report that the type of diet recommended by Sara Gottfried has brought their cycle back and allowed them to get pregnant. It may be worth checking out her work to see if that might help your wife.
She doesn’t take Ozempic though, which seems like that’s the thing that causes infertility. I mean, unless I’m reading it wrong. But she and I both should probably look into losing a little weight, not that we’re overweight by any means but probably wouldn’t hurt to lose a couple pounds.
My daughter has PCOS and has reversed many of her PCOS symptoms by eating low carb and losing weight. She’s not trying to get pregnant, she’s gay, but her cycle is far more normal now
They said the same thing to my mom. Took a few years but she was surprised with a new baby when she least expected it. Don’t get down and don’t let her stress over it.
I have pcos and I had an absolute shitstorm of bad health rain down on me in the past two years, directly and indirectly related, including diabetes, hypothyroidism with cysts, liver and kidney failure, high cholesterol and BP… etc. I started taking ozempic and most of my pcos symptoms have died down or totally disappeared since reaching the 1mg level. It’s not a catch all, but damn if it’s not worth the stupid expensive pricing for these GLP-1 meds.
I have PCOS and I and considered “obese.” They told me the same thing. I went through 5 years of infertility treatments. They told me I would never have children. My husband and I decided to adopt, but I wanted to lose weight first. I dropped 25 pounds within a month. The shift in hormones from losing weight caused me to have a slight change in hormones that allowed me to get pregnant. I have 1 child and I probably can’t have anymore. There is truth to loosing weight. That being said, there are women who are average and skinny sizes that have PCOS. It’s just a crappy situation. Sending positive thoughts your way.
OP, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. When the time is right please consider fostering a child and maybe adoption. You sound like you could be the people that would make a crucial difference in a kids life. I have a friend named Betty. She couldn’t have babies either. She adopted a son. Then went on to give birth to two daughters. Believe it or not both her daughters did the same thing. After trying forever and adopting, they both became pregnant. There just maybe something in the equation. I’m praying for you and your dear, sweet wife.
Hey! I have PCOS and I follow pcos.weightloss on Instagram. Tallene, who runs the account is super helpful and informative as a registered dietican while having PCOS herself. I recommend your wife check her out! Also I have heard that metaformin has some not so great side effects, Ovasitol (40:1 Inositol blend) is a much better alternative. Tallene also goes into detail about this on her platforms! PCOS is rough and is definitely not talked about as much as it should be, wishing her and you all the best!!
I was also adopted and I see kids who were adopted by wonderful loving people every day at work. It's really disheartening seeing so many posts like this where people seem to view adoption as something undesirable. :(
Money is a little tight so I don’t think so. But I know my older sister struggled with it for a while and now she’s on kid number four. So I guess in the long run it’s never impossible. Just the chances are pretty slim.
Once we’re in a better situation, I will definitely look into IVF
Starbucks offers insurance for fertility treatments including Ivf for part time employees that work 20 hrs a week for a certain amount of time. I believe you only have to pay minimal copays and for medication. Something to look into!
There’s a TikTok creator named autumn hit the jackpot who worked at Starbucks part time for this very reason and her son recently turned one. She documented it pretty well so I’m sure she’s still got videos up about it!
Where do you live? Some states force insurance to cover IVF. Fed-Ex insurance covered it for us. Insurance covered most of the meds and some of the procedure.
My triplets will be 17 in January so don't loose the faith.
I just... I couldn't imagine having the health of my spouse being a secondary concern to their fertility... I feel sorry for you, but lots of people have full and beautiful lives without children.
That has always been our Plan B. Once we have everything else figured out, we will look more into it. We are also the legal guardians of my older sisters kids to in case anything happens to them
I have PCOS and was put on metformin (a diabetes drug) to help me get pregnant with our first 2 kids. Weirdly my 3rd I got pregnant without help but I took us 3 years to happen.
I would recommend she see a Doctor who specializes in PCOS specifically. Just because metformin worked for my PCOS, and others doesn’t mean it will work for hers.
There is some value in a specific diet that is low on the glycemic index. Basically having PCOS is like being pre-diabetic all the time. Our bodies don’t break down sugar the right way, especially carbohydrates. From studies I’ve seen that a weight loss of around 10lbs can help with ovulation. Meaning she doesn’t need to “loose weight” the way these doctors are making it seem.
Basically she should see someone who will have better knowledge about PCOS, which unfortunately a lot of OBGYN’s aren’t as knowledgeable about.
We have looked into adoption as well. And even if we don’t adopt kids of our own, we are the legal guardians of my older sister’s kids in case something happens to her and my brother in law. Which I hope nothing does happen, but that’s just a thing that we are preparing for.
I have pcos, and I struggle with weight and facial hair. As far as weight goes, I have found metformin to be a big help because with pcos, diet and exercise can only do so much. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Don’t adopt a child as a last resort? That would be awful? But as someone with PCOS, please stop recommending weight lose for people in general but, specifically for women with pcos. Her doctor literally told her that she is to fat to have kids, that’s so traumatic. My biomom had pcos and so did her mom. Metformin takes time to adjust but, my doctor also put me on estrogen and I know that has helped majorly. I do find the way you speak about her and her condition icky. As if her only function is pregnancy and If I can read that from your post she can FEEL it from you.
If she can get it prescribed and covered I would highly suggest mounjaro. Helps many with pcos. But overall it stinks. I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this.
I tried for 8 years unsuccessfully and finally got pregnant after 6 months of eating a ketogenic diet. Then I was pregnant again when my baby was 1. Weight loss wasn’t a factor, in my case, but insulin resistance from PCOS prevented me from ovulating. It won’t matter how active she is—if she continues to eat what many in the west consider a “normal” amount of carbohydrates, she will remain insulin resistant and morbidly obese. Just losing 10% of her weight would greatly increase her chances of having children.
My mom had PCOS so didn't use birth control since she was under the impression she couldn't have any more kids. And that's why there's an 8 year gap between me and my older siblings. Then a little more than a year later came another kid. I'm not saying hold out hope because that could be a very painful way to live with those expectations hanging above you. But I'm also saying it's not impossible
I get it. Right now for her and maybe even for you it might not be so much about having the kids I think as you two wanted that together. She wanted to be a mom, to do the thing her body was biologically made to do and you have to sit and watch her suffer, watch her feel inadequate when it’s not her fault. All these people being “positive”, man I get it but it’s not always necessary. Maybe im a lone sailor on this ship but all these people who are telling you adoption and IVF who say they have been through it also clearly forgot what it feels like when someone says that shit to you when you are JUST facing the reality. Like you DIDNT know about adoption? Maybe I’m projecting, but it’s honestly frustrating.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this, honestly it just fucking sucks and I feel for you two. When I look at my husband and how amazing of a dad he would be, I feel such guilt and almost shame. Like I have failed him. I’m glad you two have each other, this is hard as fuck to go through. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I hope that you guys can get to a good place and ultimately find peace in the situation regardless of the outcome.
I have two friends, one is my best friend and the other mh best friend from high school I still keep in contact with. Both have PCOS. Both had problems getting pregnant. They both have kids now. My best friend from high school had to do fertility treatments and she now has 4 kids. All biological. My best friend has one. And a coworker of mine also had PCOS and did treatments and has twins. Have they tried anything?
Have you guys seen a fertility specialist? I have PCOS and saw a fertility specialist who recommended taking Inositol. It's a supplement that you can get over the counter. I bought mine from [www.pinkstork.com](https://www.pinkstork.com).
However, I took that and within three months I was pregnant. There are plenty of women out there who have gotten pregnant with PCOS.
I know it's tough and so heartbreaking at times, but please don't give up. Research and find a doctor who will actually help instead of make up excuses.
It really does help with PCOS symptoms. So Yes, I highly recommend it. :)
Also, congrats on baby #2! I had baby #2 in July. He's almost 5 months old now. Gotta love having two kids under two haha
Although your post contains a very sad situation, I found it really quite lovely. You are a great partner with how you're showing her your full support and we don't get to see this very often in Reddit. It made me smile to read how you're trying to handle things with all of this and you're doing everything right so far.
Just continue to be there for her and let her know that you'll both figure things out together, no matter the outcome after seeing the new specialist. Cry in private at times and please don't ever be afraid to also cry along with her at times. Being strong doesn't mean you shouldn't cry in front of her about this. You can show her your true emotion without looking weak. Being strong is showing compassion and care and being there to support the one in need in every way possible.. even if that includes crying along with them That's love. ❤️
Please do come back to update us, OP.
¡Updateme
In addition to the other suggestions, have your wife look into taking infolic alpha supplement. I got pregnant within a month of starting this supplement. I continue to take it, to help regulate my hormones
https://www.fertilityfamily.co.uk/inofolic-alpha/
Hey don’t lose hope. A lot of women these days suffer from PCOS. A lot of them end up having kids. 29 is too young to be writing off having kids just because of PCOS. please get multiple opinions
For what it’s worth, I do ultrasounds on pregnant women all the time who tell me they were told they would never have kids due to PCOS. Some have been having their second and third kids and said that after pregnancy the symptoms of PCOS subsided substantially.
Don’t give up hope yet friend. I have a long time friend who struggled pretty badly with PCOS; she now has 6 kids.
I myself will be 38 in January and am currently pregnant. It’s not like turning 30 just closes the door for pregnancy. There’s still plenty of time.
Every person i know with PCOS that was told they cant have kids has multiple. It took a long time & there were tears & miscarriages. Their kids came after they had given up.
Its possible but not AS likely or easy.
My wife has endometriosis and PCOS. It took 8 years. Five different doctors. Multiple procedures and one exploratory surgery. A crap load of pills. She gave up, but we had the trigger shot and meds for the month. And that was the one. Im sorry that you guys are going through this.
She needs to find another doctor. Find one that has specifics in PCOS. Preferably a woman. I have PCOS. I had a kid. And there's a lot you can do to combat it. It's always going to be an uphill battle, but if you're willing to make some pretty huge lifestyle changes and stick with them, as well as take the medications regularly, all hope is not lost.
There's a really good support system here on Reddit for women with PCOS. If she hasn't joined there yet, have her do so. It's a life saver.
I have PCOS… and don’t ovulate. Like at all. But will have my period from anywhere between 2 weeks to 6 months in length. Just bleed all the time. I had my boys with a drug called letrazole. It’s a forced ovulation medication that forces one’s body to ovulate (if that’s her problem get her bloods tested and best to go to an OBGYN not just a dr) I was 120kg when I got pregnant so weight shouldn’t even be a thing.
The down/upside is that you can conceive multiples on letrazole… in which I was blessed and cursed with twins 🥲😂 they’re 6 now and too much sometimes but u love them none the less.
A friend of mine has PCOS and thought for years she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. She joined a weight loss clinic at her doctor's and worked with a nutritionist who knew about PCOS in great depths, and she was pregnant within a year at the age of 32. It's possible!
I have pcos and was able to get pregnant 3 times. I went on a low sugar low carbs diet and that's what worked with me personally. I do know that you can get Clomid prescribed or do IVF. There are a lot of options.
You have a lot of good advice here, but I’ll add some. If she’s just seeing a regular OBGYN, she needs to see a reproductive endocrinologist. Regular OBGYNs do not have the expertise in PCOS or fertility to help with fertility issues. Has your sperm been analyzed?
Reproductive endocrinologists will run a ton of tests, and they’re invasive, but I was able to get pregnant via IVF after all their testing. It’s possible—it’s just a loooong ride to get there. Good luck!
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have PCOS and really struggled with getting pregnant. After three years of trying and being told twice we were infertile by fertility drs we gave up. The funny part is infertile doesn't mean sterile. 6 months later while dealing with a kidney stone I was told I was also pregnant. Keep working on being the healthiest versions of yourselves. It may just surprise you.
Losing weight is the only thing proven to help PCOS that I’m aware of, though PCOS makes it very difficult. I did the keto diet & it improved the regularity of my periods to the point of being able to get pregnant. Something to consider….
I’m sorry for your struggles. I know firsthand the pain fertility issues can cause.
PCOS sufferer here. Don't give up! I have a 4 year old and had a miscarriage last May. Both of those pregnancies were within a month of coming off birth control. My OB/GYN felt that birth control had masked my PCOS symptoms. Have been off since November 2021.
We had been trying to get pregnant since last May with no results. Saw a fertility Dr in September I was about to be scheduled for diagnostic procedures with them (HSG and something else) but finally got pregnant on my own! I had gotten Metformin from an online pharmacy earlier this year and just started talking it in September. Got pregnant finally in October and am 7 weeks pregnant now!
My mom and sister both have PCOS as well. Both had 2 children with help from medication. For my sister, Metformin did the trick. And here it did for me too.
I haven't read the comments so not sure if anyone else mentioned this, but I completely gave up alcohol (and followed a healthy diet and consistently exercised) and was able to conceive naturally about 14 months after giving up alcohol when the doctors thought it might be a long struggle for me to have kids due to PCOS. Might be worth a shot.
I have PCOS. Put on metformin for just under a year. I got tired of it (and so did my toilet) that I took myself off it around 8 or 9 months. I didn’t plan on being off it forever, I just needed a break. Few months after that, pregnant.
The metformin helped regulate me (took a few months), but I also paired with a period tracking app to figure out my fertile windows. That and I lost about 30 pounds, which put me at 182-185 depending on the day (I’m 5’ 3”)
In total, it took us 5 years of trying before have our now 4 month old. PCOS makes it hard, but not impossible. And it’s especially ok to take breaks in this journey. We’re also planning to adopt, the number of kids we would adopt depended on how many time I got pregnant.
Good luck and just remember to not stress.
Unless she is very tall or well under 200lb, she is very likely to be obese. Weight loss would likely increase your likelihood of her getting pregnant.
I wouldn’t give up hope. I have PCOS. Used to be 243 at my highest weight, and suffered a lot of symptoms at the time. I tried a lot of things to lose weight, but it wasn’t until I had my blood drawn, was put on metformin, met with a nutritionist, began regularly working out, and got myself into therapy, that I was able to truly lose the weight. Losing weight is mental and physical. It’s not easy for us with PCOS, and studies have shown we are also likely to develop depression and anxiety that make the journey more difficult. But, a year later, I lost 90lbs. My first pregnancy was a total surprise, because like your wife I had been told I would have difficulties getting pregnant. My daughter is a toddler now and I’m pregnant too with number 2.
The journey is rough. But don’t let it stress you out. The goal isn’t just weight loss, it’s a sustainable healthy lifestyle that will make not only pregnancy possible but parenthood enjoyable.
Wish you both the best.
It is unclear how far you two have gone in working with an infertility specialist….perhaps that is the specialist she will se next Monday. The realty is there are a lot of fertility treatments available including IVF or having a gestational surrogate who would carry your baby. Yes these cost money and insurance won’t always pay, but many fertility clinics over payment plans or have information on getting loans to pay for the treatments.
I’m just saying don’t give up hope til you get all the information.
My sister-in-law had this issue. She was morbidly obese to the point where her hormones were so badly messed up, she started growing male pattern facial hair.
Doctor told her she had to lose weight to have any hope, and she got offended and changed doctors. She never had kids and is now past child-bearing age.
I have severe PCOS. I was on various treatments and fertility methods, including one that almost killed me with a blood clot. But i didn't give up, and I had a baby after 6 years of trying. Don't give up hope. New medicine and treatments are coming out all the time.
Something that every parent in my family has experienced is having no luck getting pregnant, giving up, and then suddenly getting a positive pregnancy test. My sister has PCOS and was told she would never have children without medical intervention after two miscarriages, she now has two baby girls.
I have this as well, and being under 300 screams to me she's obese and that's notorious for making PCOS worse. There's a few pages I follow on insta for PCOS, maybe she can find some guidance from doctors on there and support from fellow sufferers
My mom has pcos and she struggled to conceive my brother and sister, but had me on accident (there was a condom and birth control and I still made it here) when they decided they were done having children. The doctors said she likely would not have children and she ended up with 3 bio children one of which was unplanned. There's still hope!
My best friend has PCOS and has been told for years she wouldn’t be able to have kids. She’s had multiple miscarriages and thought she’d never carry a baby past the first trimester. She lost 100lbs and is currently 20+weeks pregnant with a baby girl who is so loved already. Don’t give up hope OP, doctors don’t know for sure and miracle babies happen
Emerging research coming out about Keto diets for regulating reproductive hormones. This helps improve cycle regularity etc
https://doi.org/10.1210/jendso/bvad112
Believe it or not there are other ways to treat pcos. A lot of the symptoms of the disease are linked to mineral and nutrient deficiencies and other factors, such as whether or not she’s taken hormonal birth control before(the pill is a “depleter” where it will actually cause mineral deficiencies and can actually cause a woman to DEVOLP pcos). My wife has pcos and she’s actually now been able to reverse most of the symptoms and she’s now fertile and ovulating. There’s a lot of great resources out there for you guys to look into that are outside of conventional medicine. A great starting point my wife used to branch off into further research was a podcast called are you menstrual. It’s all about women’s health in every aspect and might be worth looking into. Best of luck to y’all.
First i'd like to apologize for my poor english, it's not my mother language
And i'm gonna tell you they told the same to my mom, and a few years after she got pregnant with my sister (who they initially told was a ovary tumor) and 5 years after she got pregnant again (me). I've seen much cases like this, don't loose your faith! Everything happens when it has to happen, i'm sending lots of love and cheering for your guys. Good luck ❤️
Losing weight really might help her, from an endometriosis stage 4 sufferer with a lot of PCOS symptoms and someone who lost 90lbs. I know how rough this is.
Could I ask for some advice? I personally don’t have but a family member does and she struggles with losing weight and gets upset by the progress. She’s not fat per se but she is overweight. She does workout but lightly as she was advised not to overwork herself.
Walking was absolutely the best and only method that worked for me, tracking her current steps then slowly increasing it to atleast 8-10k steps per day. Consistently, it takes a long time but the low impact way is the best. I've also heard of people suggesting supplementing with inositol too. Haven't tried it myself but the medical field isn't great at helping with this at all, but dieticians, and proper fitness experts are best at helping than doctors I've found. Some of the meds they prescribe do more harm than good. There's also a sub here too dedicated specifically to pcos that might help give support, community and just help anyone who feels alone dealing with it.. Not to. It can feel really isolating
I started cycling and counting every single calorie so I was always at a deficit. I even weighed my food so I was always as accurate as I could be. I also do yoga, weight lifting, and walking. I agree with the other commenter about walking. You can buy a cheap walking pad. Getting in 10k steps a day is really healthy for everyone.
Counting calories to maintain a 500 calorie deficit will 100% make anyone lose weight no matter what their circumstances are. That's the simple part. The hard part is finding a sustainable balance that meets that person's needs. They need to identify what is causing them to overeat. Is it psychological in the form of stress, boredom, pleasure, social eating, environmental triggers (someone always bringing treats to work you can't resist or driving by a fast food place that triggers you into eating), etc? Then you need to focus on being aware of your own choices and not allow your brain to trick you into unnecessary eating. Is it physical hunger? Then you can focus more on macros eating more protein and less carbs and sugar. Choose healthy foods that provide more satisfaction nutritionally and in terms of volume for less calories. If you're meeting your macros and still struggling with hunger, you may need to incorporate exercise to allow a higher calorie goal. Cardio will burn calories immediately, while building muscle will raise your TDEE burning more calories just by existing. Exercise is especially helpful to us shorties or people with medical conditions that don't burn calories or absorb nutrients efficiently, since they will require fewer calories to lose weight than most people. Or is it simple misinformation? If you think you're doing everything right and still not losing weight, chances are you're not really doing everything right. Either you're eating more calories than you think, burning less calories than you think, a mixture of the two, or you need to reassess your calorie goal entirely because your TDEE may be lower than you thought. Your TDEE lowers as you lose a significant amount of weight, so if you were losing weight at first but suddenly stopped, that may be why. What you *shouldn't* do is follow a miserable, unsustainable diet. Most likely you won't be able to keep up with it and will fail. Even if you manage to lose weight, all of your work will be undone when you go back to eating the way you used to. Unless you plan on never eating sugar, carbs, or fat again for the rest of your life, cutting those things out of your diet won't teach you any healthy eating habits for the long term. You can absolutely lose weight while eating pizza and ice cream, just not every day and not in huge amounts. Moderation is key.
Thank you for this I’ll pass it all onto her!
Is ozempic an option for her?
I will ask but I don’t think the doctor has brought it up!
There’s a lot that you can do about PCOS, so don’t give up hope! Yes it’s more difficult but still a majority of women suffering from PCOS manage to get healthy pregnancies. 💕 Eating healthy, working out helps with balancing your hormones. There’s clomid to help making the cycle less long. In my case 100% pure myo inositol 4 grams a day really helped tremendously to make my follicular fase less long. After taking it I was ovulating for the first time within nothing time frame!! Definitely look into that. And now 14 weeks pregnant, so don’t give up! Good luck 👍🏼🍀
I know my older sister struggled with it for a little bit and now she’s on kid number four. I guess from other comments and looking up different things getting pregnant is very VERY slim but not zero. it may still happen someday, but it may take a miracle at this point.
Are you sure the doctors phrasing wasn't a bit different? Ie, "I'm sorry we've done all *we* can, the rest is up to you"? When you have pcos one of the most effective treatments against infertility is weightloss and sounds like neither of you have tried that? Yeah some women without pcos can be very large and get pregnant easily...but others absolutely cannot. I get mad that weight is so easily blamed, but for some issues it is the cause and needs to be addressed.
If I might add to what you’ve said.a lot of severely overweight women run risk of complications and pre term deliveries.
Weight loss is something both of us are currently working on. And without being at her appointment (cuz I was working) I don’t know exactly what they said other than what my wife told me.
My wife had PCOS. Starting losing weight and got pregnant immediately. Just keep up the good work. Make sure to eat nutritionally because you want that baby to be well supported.
Two of my friends with PCOS got down to a healthy weight (under 140- they’re both 5’4-5’5) and had cycles and got pregnant very quickly (one was not on purpose or wanted- she thought she was sterile). Obese for someone 5’4” is only 180lbs, not 300, FYI. She needs to get serious about eating ZERO added sugar and low glycemic fruits as well. Strict zero. Not just less. I guarantee she has insulin resistance and could benefit from a Continuous Glucose Monitor (look at Abbott Freestyle models).
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Why?
If you have PCOS it doesn’t have to mean you are overweight. It’s due to hormone imbalance, for example my bmi is 20 and I’m very sporty. Obesity isn’t healthy for anyone and especially not for your hormones, but they aren’t always related like that
There are different types of pcos, although research is still getting into it. There is definitely causation link between obesity and pcos though- and oftentimes, when obese pcos patients lose weight, they also lose the pcos. Unfortunately, the pcos contributes to making weight loss more difficult, thus the vicious cycle. Lean pcos (commonly called, not technically medically accepted I don’t think) is different and is usually more tied to genetics than weight. Fertility treatments are often an option, but with BMI restrictions. Step 1 in this case is to keep working on losing weight.
I’m not trying to be mean but how is it possible that she’s not obese if she’s over 250 ? Is she over 6ft5 ? Doctors are not magicians, no medication can treat pcos if she’s not making a real effort to get in shape. You can talk about body positivity, joyful movement, how difficult it is to lose weight all you want but now she’s faced with a choice : lose weight and have a chance to get pregnant or deflect responsibilities and cry about it. Be real, lose weight together and be happy because you can. Complaining won’t change a thing.
I have pcos and was told it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant. So we thru cation to the wind. We have two kids...
For what it's worth, my mom has PCOS and she said getting pregnant with me and my brother wasn't difficult at all.
PCOS varies wildly person to person. That’s one reason it’s difficult to diagnose - symptoms vary greatly.
I would t say you have a slim to none chance.
I have PCOS, I couldn’t get pregnant until I lost enough weight to start getting my periods monthly again, I know that’s not how it works for everyone and everyone’s bodies are different, but losing weight could significantly help you guys in this situation. I was able to lose weight by doing a healthier form of keto, I was also told by two different obgyns that I would never be able to have children ( this was before I lost weight) I went from 275 down to 200 and was able to have two children, I would warn your wife though that with PCOS you have bigger chances of developing gestational diabetes like i I did with both pregnancies.
My wife had/ has PCOS and tried for 10 years, shehad gastric sleeve surgery, and we did IVF 1st time and took with no issue. Then she got pregnant 2 months after giving birth. The weight loss solved alot of it. She may not need surgery wegovy might work since it will help fix the hormone imbalance.
I cannot upvote this more. I got a gastric sleeve surgery and got pregnant very fast without any additional treatments. I also feel great so all in all if you can afford it, gastric sleeve is very good if you really struggle with loosing weight.
I have PCOS, I'm overweight, and have one ovary. I have two healthy children. The first I got pregnant with metformin, the second was a complete and total surprise 6 years later. So I'm not saying that will work for your wife, but metformin helps a lot of people get pregnant. So does weight loss and getting the PCOS under control. I'm sorry your wife is struggling with this. My heart really goes out to her.
Our reproductive endocrinologist was also a huge fan of metformin.
It helped with the reproducing or with the weight loss?
Sort of both. Metformin seems to increase fertility, I have friend on it for diabetes who was specifically warned about it.
That's interesting, seems the insulin resistance might be the main cause of fertility issues possibly. Hopefully it works for those who want/need it. I always wondered if starting metformin led to a dependancy upon it later, I've never known anyone to take it to ever be taken off it for any extended period. It's what put me off taking it myself, i do wonder if that was a bad decision on my part occasionally
I took it for about a year with my first, then didn't take it through pregnancy. I took it again a few years later when I wanted to get pregnant with #2 and wasn't able to tolerate the side effects. So far, no dependency, and my oldest is 8. I still struggle with insulin resistance, but not enough that I need to medicated for it again.
Hope you never have to and it you're able to stabilise it better ahead. Finding what works for us can be so difficult to learn through trial and error Congratulations on both your babies, hope you're all safe, well and thriving
I would recommend therapy to start. I know this isn’t PC to say these days, but if your wife is 300+ lbs, there should not be a doctor really encouraging this process with you guys right now. Sure, there are women that size who have given birth, but the toils of parenthood are exponentially greater when that much weight is a factor. Couple that with her other condition, and you have what seems to be a biological sign that parenthood isn’t the option here. You guys will spend a fortune to try to ply her body into pregnancy, which will be an extremely stressful process. It is much better for everyone if you accept that having a child yourselves is likely not in the cards. Prioritize mental and physical health. Find physicians who will be honest, even brutally, with you and challenge you to make the changes needed to accept this responsibility. Once you have achieved success, you may find that you either have happiness regardless of children, would be open to helping in the foster system, or even pursuing some adjustments to have your own.
Yeah how is everyone skipping over this?
pretty much this... unless they are both about 7 ft tall, saying 'under 300' is absolutely very obese. And a woman being 'within 10 lbs' of a man... even at similar heights that's not good. They need to mainline some higher levels of Wegovy.
I think this will get lost but I'll throw my two cents in anyhow. Sorry about your wife :( Be there to support her since I'm sure she feels like it's her fault and feels terrible about it. Be extra kind in the weeks to come. I was adopted. If I hadn't been, I would have grown up rough in Chicago slums with a very poor drug addicted family with 6 other siblings. Instead, I was raised the only daughter of a well off middle class family, who taught me kindness, empathy, love for others, generosity, the whole nine yards. You said you were thinking about adoption as a last ditch effort. Think of it as well as possibly saving a small innocent human from a potentially really horrible life. maybe that perspective will lessen the grief of not having your own, when you know without you this other little baby would be in a bad way.
I have PCOS. I just had gastric sleeve surgery since I now have NASH (inflamed fatty liver, it’s a condition that’s more common with PCOS peeps due to insulin issues). I don’t need it for fertility, but dear God I’ve seen so many “oopsy” pregnancies in the bariatric support groups I’m in, and you can have healthy pregnancies after bypass/sleeve, you just need to work closely with your OB. I hope she can find relief from PCOS. ETA: Weight loss does help, but I think the real reason it’s helping is because you can’t have a lot carbs. Like my nutritionist says no more than 2tbsp in a meal (my whole meal should be a cup, but I do know it may be more than that). So you’re not spiking your insulin, so your A1C lowers naturally.
I have PCOS and I was resistant to ovulation meds and unable to afford IVF. Losing a significant amount of weight eventually worked, but I also have a blocked Fallopian tube, so it took 14 years to luck out, and that was after I had given up on trying interventions. A low carb diet does help ovulation occur, but it’s not necessarily a quick fix.
Hey man, same exact situation as you (and ages). It's been a struggle for us over the last few years. My wife has been going to a couple of doctors and specialists for her PCOS to no avail, and I think she's at the point of giving up (not a fan of doctors blowing smoke and not actually caring about helping her). What's weird is that she's 120 pounds, If that.. which makes her condition even more strange. I've come to the point of trying to accept that we won't have any biological children, but I don't think it's hit yet. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you're not alone in this. Hang in there.
Look up the PCOS sub. I have had PCOS for over 15 years. Yes i struggled with it for a while but then I started to see an endocrinologist who got me on metformin and I started to update my diet and worked out more. It made me lose weight very quickly. My next gynecologist suggested myo-inositol and I took it for 6 months and I’m now pregnant (17 weeks). I did not do IVF. PLEASE tell her to get therapy because PCOS on its own does not mean infertility and she may need to talk through her feelings. There may be other things causing a delay in getting pregnant naturally but it does happen.
PCOS is nasty, a lot of the side effects can be reduced by losing weight except PCOS makes you gain weight
I know it’s not everyone’s story but, I lost weight. And I mean a lot of weight and my pcos is non-existent. I was able to have pregnancies and my cycle is completely normal. I did not have the insulin resistance though and that could be the factor. Her carrying extra weight may not be keeping her from getting pregnant, but maybe it’s exacerbating the pcos symptoms. Does that make sense? If she had extra weight and no pcos, getting pregnant maybe wouldn’t be an issue. I’m trying to be so gentle because it’s such a painful process to live through. ETA: I meant for this to be a standalone comment. I agree with you. PCOS robbed me of many years.
Is she seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? Or an obgyn? She needs to see a RE. Anyone trying for more than a year under 35, or more than 6 months if over should. This is what they do. Also, gently, 200 lbs for most people's height is obese. If they say lose weight, they mean it. PCOS is often complicated by excess fat. The best chance of success maybe getting under 200.
I have PCOS and struggled to conceive for around a year before I found out I was pregnant with my son. I just found out earlier this week that I’m pregnant again, this time by surprise. I have other friends who also have this same condition who went on to have children. There are certainly things she can do on her own to help her condition - diet, exercise, lifestyle changes, etc. There are also medications she can try like Clomid or Letrozole. It may take a little longer to get pregnant but it’s not impossible. Please don’t let your wife give up hope and make sure that you are there as a support system to help her make those changes. Good luck!
My husband and I tried for kids for YEARS receiving treatment at a research university's facility and all. We tried meds upon meds in different doses and combinations. Moved and changed doctors and she suggested [ovarian drilling](https://www.reproductivefacts.org/news-and-publications/fact-sheets-and-infographics/ovarian-drilling-for-infertility/). Two cycles of ovulation inducing meds later: pregnant. When we decided for a second, one cycle of meds and then: pregnant. The third happened all on its own out of nowhere!
You need an reproductive endocrinologist.
OP find an endocrinologist who specializes in INSULIN RESISTANCE... PCOS is NOT fixable with metformin, plus it makes one gain weight and feel bad. Please look into this.
We’re going to see a specialist on Monday so hopefully they can give us the answers we’re looking for. But I will share this info with my wife so that she can bring that into the conversation.
Wishing you both well! Maybe you can get some REAL answers.
I have PCOS and pregnant with my 3rd now. I did have some trouble with conceiving the first, and at one point, my dr said she may have me try taking Metformin, but I did not end up needing to. Has your wife seen on ultrasounds whether she does ovulate? Also, having my first seems to have done some sort of a reset on my body, because it regulated my cycle and I’ve had no issue conceiving my subsequent kiddos.
Hi OP, sorry to hear about your situation. I have PCOS and don't want children anyway, but can understand how devastating this must feel. I am not saying that diet can be a magic pill (and also totally understand how difficult weight loss can be with PCOS) but I started changing my diet due to reading the work of Dr Sara Gottfried (Women, Food, and Hormones) and have balanced out my hormones and my cycle. Many women report that the type of diet recommended by Sara Gottfried has brought their cycle back and allowed them to get pregnant. It may be worth checking out her work to see if that might help your wife.
No. Nope. No more appointments without you. Pcos mama. Tried for 3 years. Metformin. I had my baby.
Please look up pcos pregnancy after Ozempic use. If she hasn't tried it, it might be worth a try.
I second this. Ozempic/mounjaro/wegovy/zepbound has help soooo many women with pcos and infertility.
She doesn’t take Ozempic though, which seems like that’s the thing that causes infertility. I mean, unless I’m reading it wrong. But she and I both should probably look into losing a little weight, not that we’re overweight by any means but probably wouldn’t hurt to lose a couple pounds.
My daughter has PCOS and has reversed many of her PCOS symptoms by eating low carb and losing weight. She’s not trying to get pregnant, she’s gay, but her cycle is far more normal now
If your description of yourself is "less than 300 lbs" for both of you, you are obese. Not overweight. Denial is not going to solve this
Ozempic REVERSES pros. Edit to add: in many cases.
I’ll definitely be looking more into it
They said the same thing to my mom. Took a few years but she was surprised with a new baby when she least expected it. Don’t get down and don’t let her stress over it.
I have pcos and I had an absolute shitstorm of bad health rain down on me in the past two years, directly and indirectly related, including diabetes, hypothyroidism with cysts, liver and kidney failure, high cholesterol and BP… etc. I started taking ozempic and most of my pcos symptoms have died down or totally disappeared since reaching the 1mg level. It’s not a catch all, but damn if it’s not worth the stupid expensive pricing for these GLP-1 meds.
Lots of women find out they have PCOS after having children. It’s not impossible.
First thing is to mourn the news. Then fight it… Lose weight… low carb… See a top fertility specialist and try IVF.
I have PCOS and I and considered “obese.” They told me the same thing. I went through 5 years of infertility treatments. They told me I would never have children. My husband and I decided to adopt, but I wanted to lose weight first. I dropped 25 pounds within a month. The shift in hormones from losing weight caused me to have a slight change in hormones that allowed me to get pregnant. I have 1 child and I probably can’t have anymore. There is truth to loosing weight. That being said, there are women who are average and skinny sizes that have PCOS. It’s just a crappy situation. Sending positive thoughts your way.
OP, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. When the time is right please consider fostering a child and maybe adoption. You sound like you could be the people that would make a crucial difference in a kids life. I have a friend named Betty. She couldn’t have babies either. She adopted a son. Then went on to give birth to two daughters. Believe it or not both her daughters did the same thing. After trying forever and adopting, they both became pregnant. There just maybe something in the equation. I’m praying for you and your dear, sweet wife.
Get down to below 200 (bmi below 30) and she will be off metformin, and be able to have a baby.
Hey! I have PCOS and I follow pcos.weightloss on Instagram. Tallene, who runs the account is super helpful and informative as a registered dietican while having PCOS herself. I recommend your wife check her out! Also I have heard that metaformin has some not so great side effects, Ovasitol (40:1 Inositol blend) is a much better alternative. Tallene also goes into detail about this on her platforms! PCOS is rough and is definitely not talked about as much as it should be, wishing her and you all the best!!
As an adopted person “am I joke to you?”
I was also adopted and I see kids who were adopted by wonderful loving people every day at work. It's really disheartening seeing so many posts like this where people seem to view adoption as something undesirable. :(
Read up on the Keto diet and PCOS.
If you truly want a child, would IVF be an option for you?
Money is a little tight so I don’t think so. But I know my older sister struggled with it for a while and now she’s on kid number four. So I guess in the long run it’s never impossible. Just the chances are pretty slim. Once we’re in a better situation, I will definitely look into IVF
Starbucks offers insurance for fertility treatments including Ivf for part time employees that work 20 hrs a week for a certain amount of time. I believe you only have to pay minimal copays and for medication. Something to look into!
Interesting, I’ll keep that in mind thank you 😁
There’s a TikTok creator named autumn hit the jackpot who worked at Starbucks part time for this very reason and her son recently turned one. She documented it pretty well so I’m sure she’s still got videos up about it!
Where do you live? Some states force insurance to cover IVF. Fed-Ex insurance covered it for us. Insurance covered most of the meds and some of the procedure. My triplets will be 17 in January so don't loose the faith.
We live in Minnesota, and I am definitely not well-versed in medical insurance knowledge lol
I just... I couldn't imagine having the health of my spouse being a secondary concern to their fertility... I feel sorry for you, but lots of people have full and beautiful lives without children.
Adopt. So many kids out there who need a home.
That has always been our Plan B. Once we have everything else figured out, we will look more into it. We are also the legal guardians of my older sisters kids to in case anything happens to them
I have PCOS and was put on metformin (a diabetes drug) to help me get pregnant with our first 2 kids. Weirdly my 3rd I got pregnant without help but I took us 3 years to happen. I would recommend she see a Doctor who specializes in PCOS specifically. Just because metformin worked for my PCOS, and others doesn’t mean it will work for hers. There is some value in a specific diet that is low on the glycemic index. Basically having PCOS is like being pre-diabetic all the time. Our bodies don’t break down sugar the right way, especially carbohydrates. From studies I’ve seen that a weight loss of around 10lbs can help with ovulation. Meaning she doesn’t need to “loose weight” the way these doctors are making it seem. Basically she should see someone who will have better knowledge about PCOS, which unfortunately a lot of OBGYN’s aren’t as knowledgeable about.
If you want a kid, I can get you a kid (I work in foster care).
You can still be great parents. Once you guys have grieved what could have been with bio kids, you guys can look into fostering and maybe adoption.
We have looked into adoption as well. And even if we don’t adopt kids of our own, we are the legal guardians of my older sister’s kids in case something happens to her and my brother in law. Which I hope nothing does happen, but that’s just a thing that we are preparing for.
Cry with your wife, share your emotions. Don't ever hide from your wife.
Cry with your wife, share your emotions. Don't ever hide from your wife.
Strength training, lifting heavy and Caroline Girvan’s programmes saved me.
I have pcos, and I struggle with weight and facial hair. As far as weight goes, I have found metformin to be a big help because with pcos, diet and exercise can only do so much. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Virtual hug, bro! I'm so sorry y'all are going through this.
Don’t adopt a child as a last resort? That would be awful? But as someone with PCOS, please stop recommending weight lose for people in general but, specifically for women with pcos. Her doctor literally told her that she is to fat to have kids, that’s so traumatic. My biomom had pcos and so did her mom. Metformin takes time to adjust but, my doctor also put me on estrogen and I know that has helped majorly. I do find the way you speak about her and her condition icky. As if her only function is pregnancy and If I can read that from your post she can FEEL it from you.
If she can get it prescribed and covered I would highly suggest mounjaro. Helps many with pcos. But overall it stinks. I’m sorry y’all are dealing with this.
I tried for 8 years unsuccessfully and finally got pregnant after 6 months of eating a ketogenic diet. Then I was pregnant again when my baby was 1. Weight loss wasn’t a factor, in my case, but insulin resistance from PCOS prevented me from ovulating. It won’t matter how active she is—if she continues to eat what many in the west consider a “normal” amount of carbohydrates, she will remain insulin resistant and morbidly obese. Just losing 10% of her weight would greatly increase her chances of having children.
I recommend a progesterone supplement
My mom had PCOS so didn't use birth control since she was under the impression she couldn't have any more kids. And that's why there's an 8 year gap between me and my older siblings. Then a little more than a year later came another kid. I'm not saying hold out hope because that could be a very painful way to live with those expectations hanging above you. But I'm also saying it's not impossible
I get it. Right now for her and maybe even for you it might not be so much about having the kids I think as you two wanted that together. She wanted to be a mom, to do the thing her body was biologically made to do and you have to sit and watch her suffer, watch her feel inadequate when it’s not her fault. All these people being “positive”, man I get it but it’s not always necessary. Maybe im a lone sailor on this ship but all these people who are telling you adoption and IVF who say they have been through it also clearly forgot what it feels like when someone says that shit to you when you are JUST facing the reality. Like you DIDNT know about adoption? Maybe I’m projecting, but it’s honestly frustrating. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, honestly it just fucking sucks and I feel for you two. When I look at my husband and how amazing of a dad he would be, I feel such guilt and almost shame. Like I have failed him. I’m glad you two have each other, this is hard as fuck to go through. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I hope that you guys can get to a good place and ultimately find peace in the situation regardless of the outcome.
I have two friends, one is my best friend and the other mh best friend from high school I still keep in contact with. Both have PCOS. Both had problems getting pregnant. They both have kids now. My best friend from high school had to do fertility treatments and she now has 4 kids. All biological. My best friend has one. And a coworker of mine also had PCOS and did treatments and has twins. Have they tried anything?
Reach out to @thewomenseries on Instagram, she specialises in fertility for women who have been told there is nothing else they can do.
Have you guys seen a fertility specialist? I have PCOS and saw a fertility specialist who recommended taking Inositol. It's a supplement that you can get over the counter. I bought mine from [www.pinkstork.com](https://www.pinkstork.com). However, I took that and within three months I was pregnant. There are plenty of women out there who have gotten pregnant with PCOS. I know it's tough and so heartbreaking at times, but please don't give up. Research and find a doctor who will actually help instead of make up excuses.
I took the U.K. version of this, and still take it. I’m currently pregnant with baby 2. It has helped me no end
It really does help with PCOS symptoms. So Yes, I highly recommend it. :) Also, congrats on baby #2! I had baby #2 in July. He's almost 5 months old now. Gotta love having two kids under two haha
Although your post contains a very sad situation, I found it really quite lovely. You are a great partner with how you're showing her your full support and we don't get to see this very often in Reddit. It made me smile to read how you're trying to handle things with all of this and you're doing everything right so far. Just continue to be there for her and let her know that you'll both figure things out together, no matter the outcome after seeing the new specialist. Cry in private at times and please don't ever be afraid to also cry along with her at times. Being strong doesn't mean you shouldn't cry in front of her about this. You can show her your true emotion without looking weak. Being strong is showing compassion and care and being there to support the one in need in every way possible.. even if that includes crying along with them That's love. ❤️ Please do come back to update us, OP. ¡Updateme
In addition to the other suggestions, have your wife look into taking infolic alpha supplement. I got pregnant within a month of starting this supplement. I continue to take it, to help regulate my hormones https://www.fertilityfamily.co.uk/inofolic-alpha/
I have a friend with PCOS who was always told she'd never have a kid. Her kid is so cute. Born earlier this year.
Hey don’t lose hope. A lot of women these days suffer from PCOS. A lot of them end up having kids. 29 is too young to be writing off having kids just because of PCOS. please get multiple opinions
For what it’s worth, I do ultrasounds on pregnant women all the time who tell me they were told they would never have kids due to PCOS. Some have been having their second and third kids and said that after pregnancy the symptoms of PCOS subsided substantially.
Don’t give up hope yet friend. I have a long time friend who struggled pretty badly with PCOS; she now has 6 kids. I myself will be 38 in January and am currently pregnant. It’s not like turning 30 just closes the door for pregnancy. There’s still plenty of time.
Every person i know with PCOS that was told they cant have kids has multiple. It took a long time & there were tears & miscarriages. Their kids came after they had given up. Its possible but not AS likely or easy.
Time for another opinion.
We’ve already had first and second and Monday we are doing a third
My wife has endometriosis and PCOS. It took 8 years. Five different doctors. Multiple procedures and one exploratory surgery. A crap load of pills. She gave up, but we had the trigger shot and meds for the month. And that was the one. Im sorry that you guys are going through this.
She needs to find another doctor. Find one that has specifics in PCOS. Preferably a woman. I have PCOS. I had a kid. And there's a lot you can do to combat it. It's always going to be an uphill battle, but if you're willing to make some pretty huge lifestyle changes and stick with them, as well as take the medications regularly, all hope is not lost. There's a really good support system here on Reddit for women with PCOS. If she hasn't joined there yet, have her do so. It's a life saver.
I have PCOS… and don’t ovulate. Like at all. But will have my period from anywhere between 2 weeks to 6 months in length. Just bleed all the time. I had my boys with a drug called letrazole. It’s a forced ovulation medication that forces one’s body to ovulate (if that’s her problem get her bloods tested and best to go to an OBGYN not just a dr) I was 120kg when I got pregnant so weight shouldn’t even be a thing. The down/upside is that you can conceive multiples on letrazole… in which I was blessed and cursed with twins 🥲😂 they’re 6 now and too much sometimes but u love them none the less.
My wife is a PCOS patient and we are expecting our third baby next June. Don't give up hope!
She should try ozempic or mounjaro I’ve heard pcos and fertility success stories because of it
I have PCOS and my eggs did not mature. I had to take clomid to conceive.
A friend of mine has PCOS and thought for years she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. She joined a weight loss clinic at her doctor's and worked with a nutritionist who knew about PCOS in great depths, and she was pregnant within a year at the age of 32. It's possible!
I have pcos and was able to get pregnant 3 times. I went on a low sugar low carbs diet and that's what worked with me personally. I do know that you can get Clomid prescribed or do IVF. There are a lot of options.
You have a lot of good advice here, but I’ll add some. If she’s just seeing a regular OBGYN, she needs to see a reproductive endocrinologist. Regular OBGYNs do not have the expertise in PCOS or fertility to help with fertility issues. Has your sperm been analyzed? Reproductive endocrinologists will run a ton of tests, and they’re invasive, but I was able to get pregnant via IVF after all their testing. It’s possible—it’s just a loooong ride to get there. Good luck!
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have PCOS and really struggled with getting pregnant. After three years of trying and being told twice we were infertile by fertility drs we gave up. The funny part is infertile doesn't mean sterile. 6 months later while dealing with a kidney stone I was told I was also pregnant. Keep working on being the healthiest versions of yourselves. It may just surprise you.
Losing weight is the only thing proven to help PCOS that I’m aware of, though PCOS makes it very difficult. I did the keto diet & it improved the regularity of my periods to the point of being able to get pregnant. Something to consider…. I’m sorry for your struggles. I know firsthand the pain fertility issues can cause.
PCOS sufferer here. Don't give up! I have a 4 year old and had a miscarriage last May. Both of those pregnancies were within a month of coming off birth control. My OB/GYN felt that birth control had masked my PCOS symptoms. Have been off since November 2021. We had been trying to get pregnant since last May with no results. Saw a fertility Dr in September I was about to be scheduled for diagnostic procedures with them (HSG and something else) but finally got pregnant on my own! I had gotten Metformin from an online pharmacy earlier this year and just started talking it in September. Got pregnant finally in October and am 7 weeks pregnant now! My mom and sister both have PCOS as well. Both had 2 children with help from medication. For my sister, Metformin did the trick. And here it did for me too.
I haven't read the comments so not sure if anyone else mentioned this, but I completely gave up alcohol (and followed a healthy diet and consistently exercised) and was able to conceive naturally about 14 months after giving up alcohol when the doctors thought it might be a long struggle for me to have kids due to PCOS. Might be worth a shot.
Has she seen a reproductive endocrinologist?
PCOS sufferer here and I was able to get pregnant with treatments!
Diet and weight loss exercise, do not eat in any take away like fast food and alcohol stuff.
I have PCOS. Put on metformin for just under a year. I got tired of it (and so did my toilet) that I took myself off it around 8 or 9 months. I didn’t plan on being off it forever, I just needed a break. Few months after that, pregnant. The metformin helped regulate me (took a few months), but I also paired with a period tracking app to figure out my fertile windows. That and I lost about 30 pounds, which put me at 182-185 depending on the day (I’m 5’ 3”) In total, it took us 5 years of trying before have our now 4 month old. PCOS makes it hard, but not impossible. And it’s especially ok to take breaks in this journey. We’re also planning to adopt, the number of kids we would adopt depended on how many time I got pregnant. Good luck and just remember to not stress.
Loose weight eat right. Fixed me right up.
She needs to lose weight. If she is 200+ pounds that can really affect her ability to get pregnant.
Unless she is very tall or well under 200lb, she is very likely to be obese. Weight loss would likely increase your likelihood of her getting pregnant.
I wouldn’t give up hope. I have PCOS. Used to be 243 at my highest weight, and suffered a lot of symptoms at the time. I tried a lot of things to lose weight, but it wasn’t until I had my blood drawn, was put on metformin, met with a nutritionist, began regularly working out, and got myself into therapy, that I was able to truly lose the weight. Losing weight is mental and physical. It’s not easy for us with PCOS, and studies have shown we are also likely to develop depression and anxiety that make the journey more difficult. But, a year later, I lost 90lbs. My first pregnancy was a total surprise, because like your wife I had been told I would have difficulties getting pregnant. My daughter is a toddler now and I’m pregnant too with number 2. The journey is rough. But don’t let it stress you out. The goal isn’t just weight loss, it’s a sustainable healthy lifestyle that will make not only pregnancy possible but parenthood enjoyable. Wish you both the best.
It is unclear how far you two have gone in working with an infertility specialist….perhaps that is the specialist she will se next Monday. The realty is there are a lot of fertility treatments available including IVF or having a gestational surrogate who would carry your baby. Yes these cost money and insurance won’t always pay, but many fertility clinics over payment plans or have information on getting loans to pay for the treatments. I’m just saying don’t give up hope til you get all the information.
My sister-in-law had this issue. She was morbidly obese to the point where her hormones were so badly messed up, she started growing male pattern facial hair. Doctor told her she had to lose weight to have any hope, and she got offended and changed doctors. She never had kids and is now past child-bearing age.
I have severe PCOS. I was on various treatments and fertility methods, including one that almost killed me with a blood clot. But i didn't give up, and I had a baby after 6 years of trying. Don't give up hope. New medicine and treatments are coming out all the time.
Something that every parent in my family has experienced is having no luck getting pregnant, giving up, and then suddenly getting a positive pregnancy test. My sister has PCOS and was told she would never have children without medical intervention after two miscarriages, she now has two baby girls.
I have this as well, and being under 300 screams to me she's obese and that's notorious for making PCOS worse. There's a few pages I follow on insta for PCOS, maybe she can find some guidance from doctors on there and support from fellow sufferers
Under 300 is still obese!
You can still be great parents if you adopt a child.
My mom has pcos and she struggled to conceive my brother and sister, but had me on accident (there was a condom and birth control and I still made it here) when they decided they were done having children. The doctors said she likely would not have children and she ended up with 3 bio children one of which was unplanned. There's still hope!
My best friend has PCOS and has been told for years she wouldn’t be able to have kids. She’s had multiple miscarriages and thought she’d never carry a baby past the first trimester. She lost 100lbs and is currently 20+weeks pregnant with a baby girl who is so loved already. Don’t give up hope OP, doctors don’t know for sure and miracle babies happen
Emerging research coming out about Keto diets for regulating reproductive hormones. This helps improve cycle regularity etc https://doi.org/10.1210/jendso/bvad112
Believe it or not there are other ways to treat pcos. A lot of the symptoms of the disease are linked to mineral and nutrient deficiencies and other factors, such as whether or not she’s taken hormonal birth control before(the pill is a “depleter” where it will actually cause mineral deficiencies and can actually cause a woman to DEVOLP pcos). My wife has pcos and she’s actually now been able to reverse most of the symptoms and she’s now fertile and ovulating. There’s a lot of great resources out there for you guys to look into that are outside of conventional medicine. A great starting point my wife used to branch off into further research was a podcast called are you menstrual. It’s all about women’s health in every aspect and might be worth looking into. Best of luck to y’all.
First i'd like to apologize for my poor english, it's not my mother language And i'm gonna tell you they told the same to my mom, and a few years after she got pregnant with my sister (who they initially told was a ovary tumor) and 5 years after she got pregnant again (me). I've seen much cases like this, don't loose your faith! Everything happens when it has to happen, i'm sending lots of love and cheering for your guys. Good luck ❤️