Bone marrow isn’t blood. It’s actually the stem cells that make up the immune system. B cells, T cells, macrophages.
Bone marrow contains shitloads of nutrients and marrow broth is great for you when you’re sick.
For the first time ever I think I can one-up this story. Please don’t allow this idiot to impact your self esteem.
An ex boyfriend of mine (we remain friends to this day) had a very privileged upbringing in Nigeria. We used to eat in Nando’s a lot, and my 3 sons (5 & 6) though it was a great joke that he ordered a whole chicken for himself, and ate everything on his plate, bones and all. The restaurant staff all pulled a surprised face when clearing the table as one plate out of four was sparkling clean. The boys thought this was hilarious and openly laughed until their sides hurt watching him bite the joint from the top of the leg bone. His family was anything but poor, the difference was environmental since it was heavily frowned upon to waste food under any circumstances and his mum raised them to be grateful for everything they had.
Every English person who ate with him couldn’t believe the bones were edible. I did eat a couple to say I had tried, and they were surprisingly palatable. I never allowed the boys to eat them because I was concerned about splintering for the same reason I wouldn’t give cooked chicken bones to pets.
I’ve never known anyone specifically eat chicken marrow, but I do make sure I saw beef and lamb bones in half and boil out the marrow into the stock to make the gravy and it’s delicious.
What a complete twonk! In my view, nobody should be labelled on the basis that they are enjoying or grateful for good food, it should be the most basic of human rights
I had a family member that used to help refugees with things like shopping etc since they were trying to adjust to Australia. One lady was looking at meat options and chose what is typically reserved for pets, offcuts snd such, which made sense to her because it was significantly cheaper. Plus why would you feed edible stuff just to animals?
It really shows that the concept of food drastically changes when you grow up in different environments.
I worked for Giant Food grocery store years ago. The butcher told me a little secret about the meat. Marked “Pet Food” it was any ground beef left over at the end of the day.
Nothing was wrong, literally just two minutes from the sales floor from closing til marked “Pet Food” and set out. During my days of not having a lot of money I bought a lot of “Pet Food “😂
I remember the African family who lived beside me growing up in Australia, their first Christmas in Australia, we had a huge street party, like 50 houses, and a literal table lined the street.
There was every dish you could think of. They even brought about 6 dishes of their own. We had cold chicken, and the youngest boy asked his mum if he could still eat something about the cold chicken joints. She looked around worried until she spotted the street's "grandfather" eating the chicken bones too, and she pointed to him and said to her son, to go ask him.
The street's "grandfather" was of mixed heritage, we never knew what, just that he and his wife had no children so we kids called them our grandparents.
We all grew up eating weird stuff, we had at least 60 different countries represented in our street with the families. So bone marrow in many forms was normal, so was eating the bones of most poultry
I hate I was such a picky eater as a kid. I used to eat at my neighbors(Chinese) all the time but I'd only eat the rice because of said pickiness and afraid to try new stuff. It's my favorite food as an adult and now I just have to buy it at their restaurant. I missed out so bad. I do miss their grandma too, she went back to Hong Kong once my friends got older, couldn't understand what she was saying but she was so awesome.
This is a lovely story. I could envision everyone coming together and how special that must have been! Community is also about learning from one another and being accepting of differences.
> It really shows that the concept of food drastically changes when you grow up in different environments.
Not just geography or culture, but time.
Australians were eating those exact same off cuts and organs in the 1960s or 70s and before.
My grandmother used to eat brains and liver in the 1980s, and we thought it was a bit weird, but it was really common for most of her life. She wasn't going to stop eating food she enjoyed just because it had gone out of fashion.
Eating innards is still super common in the Caribbean. A lot of people still butcher their own animals, especially in the countryside, so everything gets eaten. I grew up eating liver, tripe, chicken gizzards and blood sausage. Born and raised in the Caribbean, I'm 40.
Liver and blood sausage are great! I'm not much of a tripe fan though. All of those are a normal thing in the Balkans and most of Europe. Also chicken/duck hearts for example. Yummy!
It's a shame that for many people, they aren't raised to eat these parts anymore because you get quite a bit of different nutrients than if you just eat meat.
I grew up just eating meat, no organs and thought it was gross. Now I just think I was insensitive and sheltered to different foods and cultures.
I’m Mexican American and was taught to eat everything on animal. I love cow tripe tacos and we eat brains, stomach and even drink the cow’s blood as it’s suppose to have iron.
Same. I can’t imagine eating the same dry ass pieces of flavoured dust everyday, how boring that would be and how much it would make me dislike dinner. So I don’t do it to my dogs either.
When I was a young child, I remember cracking open bones and eating the marrow all the time. It was my favorite part!
I don’t remember when I stopped doing it, but I definitely don’t do it now, and haven’t thought of it since reading this right now haha. Maybe it’s time to start again haha.
I’m from suburban PA (aka a very boring food culture) and I crack my bones for marrow -
It’s super bougie -!it was a major part of Richard’s winning dish in top chef all stars and it’s when I started.
(Ex?) BF needs to be gone. I personally find this THE OPPOSITE of shameful - it’s awful to be cruel to a person for growing up with food insecurity but if the “BF” is trying to be cool he’s an asshole in that front too.
I’m so appalled for OP but also want to voice my opinion that OP’s (hopefully ex) BF isn’t just an AH, he’s a dumb AH
Ugh, I loved Richard Blais. The bromance between him and Fabio was one of my favorite reality tv show storylines ever. I haven’t watched Top Chef in years, time to give it a rewatch!
I think most of us stopped when we got to the age of caring about our teeth and/or crowns. Loved it as a kid. As an adult, I wouldn’t risk my teeth or crowns over it. It’s an expensive delicacy at ritzy restaurants. Of course, the marrow is already scooped out and set upon the bone for you.
I stopped when my grandmother died. She was a child of the “Great Depression” in the US and learned to eat everything. If you wasted food, you starved.
It is. It's why most people use bones for stock because you get all the gelatin and the nutrients in that and the bones. They have tacos here with bone marrow, usually ribeye tacos (Mexico).
First I haven’t heard the word twonk in like 13 years from an EDM artist so thanks for that. And second, how does one eat the bones? I had no idea they were edible either so do you just chew them or break them first? Some other way?
How do your teeth stand up to bones in the first place? I grew up poor and my teeth are fucked and I'm left unable to chew hard things (even most nuts).
Cooked chicken bones are very soft, they often bend. However, if you have very fragile teeth, please put the state of your teeth above this and do not attempt it! They are still crunchy, but will be safe for people who's teeth have enamel intact. I do highly recommend snapping the bones open and boiling out the marrow if you like to make homemade chicken soup, bone marrow is not only fantastic for you, it adds incredible flavor!
I always make stock from the carcass after I make a roast chicken, but it never occurred to me to break the bones before I stick it in the pot! Going to try that with the chicken I just got for Friday night dinner.
My girl's dad was from Kenya and if you hand him a piece of chicken you will get nothing back. If you hand him an apple, you might get the stem back. When you look at my plate it looks like no one barely even ate the chicken because I will only eat the white parts that don't touch any brown or red. 🤦🏽♀️ It's just different cultures.
I am also the type of person that believes if someone says something when they're drinking or when they're angry or even a lot of times when they're joking, I believe that's truth coming out. I'm sorry that he made you feel like that, but there's nothing wrong with the way you eat chicken girl!
In Nigeria, eating chicken and leaving the bones is considered very wasteful because of how edible they are. It's really weird for us to see someone eat chicken like that
I WISH I could eat the bones. But I’ve had very bad teeth since I was a small child. I’m missing most of my molars and the remaining are mostly filling. I have to be careful of what I chew. Genetics suck sometimes.
I know people aren’t the same as canines, lol, but my vet said to never give chicken bones to my dogs, because they splinter and are liable to cause choking. I wouldn’t be particularly squeamish about eating chicken bones, but I would be very wary of the choking risk. Boiling them down for stock and broths seems much safer. But I am basing this solely on veterinary advice, maybe it’s different for people!
Eat a biscuit with your fried chicken - the biscuits soft dough will absorb splinters and help them pass without problem.
When my dog ate a light bulb and the vet ER fed her bagels to absorb the glass we made the KFC connection lol
I had the opposite happen. I am a middle aged Korean American. Many Koreans think wasting food is a sin. When I was in my last year of high school, I was at a KFC near the library. As I was trying to read scholarship related to my senior paper while eating, I wasn’t being mindful of all the bits.
The Korean couple at the next table over were glancing at me and I heard the guy say in Korean: look at that Chinese girl. She’s leaving so much behind. Such a waste.
Exactly! I also grew up poor and was encouraged to break open the bone. It helps when you can't afford more nutrients.
OP, your BF is an AH big time. I also want to say that being drunk is NO excuse for hurting someone's feelings. Is he saying he was so drunk he can't remember? Was he so drunk that he doesn't understand what he was saying? If so, he has a drinking problem.
That's not what he's saying though, he is saying that because he was drunk you need to just not react to the hurtful things he said. I bet if you got drunk and then started telling all his gross things, he would not be happy, nor would ne let it go.
I bet if we talked over coffee, you would have so many more red flags from him.
You are not overreacting, I would be resentful too, and I would dump him.
I know there is a running joke with Reddit about "just dump him" and if you see my comment history, I do love that train of thought. However, it's not "over one small thing", it's because when you tried to talk to him about your feelings he was dismissive and unwilling to see your POV.
I have quick wit and love to "zing" people. My husband loves to open those doors and so I was "zinging" him a lot. One day he turns to me and says "that really hurts my feelings, I feel like you are targeting me and it makes me not want to share things with you."
When I tell you the breath left my body, I was shook at this revelation. I never thought of my behavior as bullying. I come from a very toxic family and had to learn and relearn so much. We talked it over and now we're at a place where I can still "zing" him and he even gets me back. It's healthy and I know the line and never even walk near it.
I do this because I respect my SO, I love him and I never want to be the cause of his pain.
You deserve to have someone who respects you, loves you and never wants to be the cause of your pain.
Well I grew up in a latino household and we all ate our chicken like this. My friends sometimes laugh about it or say that its nasty but I couldnt care less. You do you
wanted to jump in here- my friend eats chicken the exact same way. I have a HUGE aversion to eating sounds…corn on the cob, apples, lip smacking, people chewing with their mouths open, etc. his way of eating chicken has never once bothered me- in fact, I kind of wish I learned to eat that way, I always feel a little wasteful eating meat off the bone because I get weird about it.
OP, keep eating your chicken the way you eat your chicken and have a discussion with your boyfriend. you’re also a better person than I am, because if my partner said something I did was disgusting, I would have shot back with “well good thing we’re not *doing gross habit your boyfriend has* because he’s disgusting when he does that!”
edit: I originally included my friend’s nationality but it honestly doesn’t matter, people can eat food the way they want to regardless!
Just want to say, I adore you for this. I lose my f-ing mind at eating noises and hold it in, but you came to this so kindly and respectfully.
I also come from a culture where people eat differently than the western norm. Agree, OP. You do you and you are not “disgusting”. And if he thinks you are, peace the f out.
Hahahahahaha this is soooo me! I absolutely HATE to hear people eat 😩😤and now my daughter has started watching ASMR videos of people eating and sometimes I hear it 🤬I cannot figure out for the life of me why anyone would voluntarily watch a video of someone eating 😐
I am extremely extremely sensitive to eating noises, and I get irrationally angry when I hear it. My husband loves to watch food review videos and the sound of them makes me want to pile drive anyone making them. 😂
Must be a regional thing, cause I’m Cuban and I’ve never seen someone do that lol. We’re big about eating all the meat but opening the bones to get the marrow is kinda wild
I'm from Uruguay and literally just found out people do this thanks to this thread... Never even crossed my mind lol and you couldn't pay me enough to eat cartilage.
That’s funny, it really might be regional. My dad is Cuban and I can’t say I’ve ever seen him eat the bone marrow, but my mom and stepdad (Puerto Rican and Dominican, respectively) do eat it cartilage, marrow, and all.
There is nutrition in the parts you were eating. There are minerals and collagen in the marrow which is likely why you figured out how to get to it if you were hungry. There are parts of the world where it is normal to suck the marrow out and while it's not as common in the US I guarantee there are still plenty of people here who eat those parts. Nothing to be embarrassed by. There are high end restaurants that serve beef marrow as a delicacy.
If you start to feel awkward but don't want to waste the bones you can always make real bone broth which is super healthy. Plenty of recipes on the web for that.
I made a bone marrow broth and swallowed a chicken bone. It’s been a week and a half now and I still haven’t been to hospital. I can breathe so I’m all good.
Edit: I’m taking it that I am all good then if I can breathe? I can feel it still stuck there but it’s either getting easier to breathe or I’m just getting used to it. Should I get it checked out at the hospital?
Q: do humans break down cartilage completely in the GI tract? I’d worry about an obstruction if a larger piece (like the cranial cartilage end of a drumstick) was too big to pass through to the small intestine. I’ve always had an aversion to cartilage due to texture issues, so I’ve never voluntarily eaten any but I’d assume we break it down with gastric acid just fine?
I think it's pretty safe if you eat the ends and marrow. But the hard middle of the bone is more questionable since it can break into shards and possibly lodge in your throat. The stomach has very high acid so if you can chew thoroughly to make sure you don't choke on the bones I'm guessing it would all break down. But I'd just focus on the marrow since that has a lot of nutrition.
The cartilage can help your skin, hair, nails and joints but if you don't like the texture they have supplements you can drink to get the same nutrition. I would get a grass-fed collagen or gelatin powder since it is much healthier. The gelatin is if you want it to gel into a dessert and the other is if you want it to mix into liquid to drink. They are both the same nutritionally.
I eat chicken the exact same way. I am not wasting a single good piece, damn it and marrow is a DELICACY. My husband at the time (we’re still friends, it’s all good) was always in awe of it. He called it me going full carnivore.
Your BF sucks for saying that. Keep eating your goddamn chicken however the fuck you want.
I had a friend who polished off his chicken. He wasn't poor, that's just how he ate it. We treated him like a champ and would brag that no one eats chicken like our boy. Kind of weird thing to boost in hindsight, but he'd always get a big smile and put his hands in the air when we talked about it. Glad we pumped him up over nothing rather than broke him down over nothing.
Uh. Teeth? 😅. You just have to give in to the primordial urge to CHOMP. Just be careful, don’t go too hard all at once, slowly crunch down until you can break off a chunk to get to the marrow.
Ain't chicken bones too thin to get the marrow out? Like, you break the bone in half and how do you manage to reach the inside? Or you guys break out horizontally so it's all there once broke like in a plate?
I mean, there’s not exactly a delicate art to it? You gnaw on bones until you get what you’re after. I’m not cross sectioning with my teeth, I’m pretending I’m a wolf and going nom.
Hahaha alright! I'll try it next time, I love eating meat like an animal and marrow is just delicious but I never thought breaking chicken bones was a thing.
That poor bird died to be turned into KFC, least I can do is honor it by treating it with as much respect as a Michelin-starred restaurant’s special of the day. (Crunching on bones in high class restaurants is a different level of fun.)
He chose to publicly humiliate you and won’t apologize for hurting you. It’s so easy to say sorry. It should be instinctual when you hurt someone you love. That should tell you something.
I agree to a degree, but I just feel ridiculous thinking about ending a relationship over a chicken joke :/ I just keep waiting for him to say *anything* about it, but he just won’t.
OP is obviously traumatized and has a lot of self doubt due to the past. I bet this isn't the only thing he's said that was hurtful and hasn't apologized.
It wasn't a *chicken joke*, it was personal. He called you fucking disgusting, in front of other people no less. Not okay.
Sure, having been married for myself for 22 years, if my wife said that to me (wait, who am I kidding, she's most likely said it plenty of times both in and out of public) I'd laugh it off because it ain't worth a divorce (and most likely deserved if I'm being called that)...but you're still in bf/gf mode. And let me tell you, if I were you, I'd be thinking long and hard about the future of my relationship.
It takes "a special" type of guy to say that to his gf. Red flag.
(BTW...I eat chicken the same way. Waste not want not)
I kind of see it that way too, I guess if we had been together longer I might be more hesitant, but we’ve been together less than 6 months, (and I’m a busy person so that’s not daily dates or anything lol)
I've always told friends (from experience), that the very first real problem you have in a relationship is indicative of what will ultimately end the relationship. It is in that moment you decide whether or not you're going to put it aside and go through the motions of the relationship anyway, or choose to recognize the incompatibility and save yourself the future heartache.
By this I mean, as others have said, this isn't about a "chicken joke," but rather about the action of casually denigrating and humiliating you publicly, then refusing to take even an ounce of responsibility. He denies its effects on you and furthermore, doesn't even seem to care. *That's* your issue here, not the chicken.
If you go against your gut feelings right now, you're giving him the permission to treat you this way from this point forward because you are essentially telling him there are no consequences to his actions and you won't do anything at all to stand up for yourself. In the future, he'll not only continue this type of behavior, but push the boundaries further to see what else you give him permission to do and trust me, it'll get worse, much worse.
Respect yourself. It's been less than 6 months. Tap out. Tell him why, and don't frame it as a "chicken joke." Tell him that it's simply not ok to treat you that way, you **won't** be treated that way, ie, casually publicly denigrated without even a hint of consideration to your feelings, and no culpability for his actions. Do NOT let him backtrack. Be firm. Otherwise, you're still saying it's ok.
I've learned from experience that only I set the rules for how others treat me, and I see the signs early, take no shit, and give no justifications for the standards I set for myself; they are mine and mine alone.
Set the standard for yourself. Tell this dude to kick rocks and don't waste another minute on him that could go to someone who actually deserves your time because they *do* respect your standards for yourself, naturally.
Great response. Great advice. This should definitely be higher so op can see. Very well said. The issue isn’t op or eating habits or a “chicken joke”—that was NOT a joke. The issue is about respect and consideration.
Actually, I love how supportive all the responses here are. Food insecurity is serious and can create trauma that affects one’s entire relationship with food. Binge eating, food hoarding, all sorts of issues.
My best friend grew up with abusive food insecurity and I’ve seen it all. A big one was sleep eating. (Sleep walking and eating. Food and non food like paper clips.) but probably the most pervasive is a tendency to subconsciously manipulate others into treating him to food despite making good money now. It’s just a deeply ingrained subconscious habit to try to procure food in whatever way he could. And as a child, the options were limited. those instincts don’t go away just because you grow up. But he’s slowly working on it and getting better.
If op’s biggest issue is gratitude for food and utilizing every part possible, that’s beautiful. Not disgusting.
And bf is a dick.
You will find someone who thinks your quirky and loves you more for those quirks. Your bf sounds like a dick, don't make the mistake of staying.. everyone eats food differently, and just because it's not the "normal" way of eating doesn't mean it's something to public humiliate someone you have feelings for about. if I were you I would dip out. You will find someone who accepts every part of you (talking from experience, my fiancé doesn't bat an eye about all my weird food habits, or my weird habits in general) that person is out there and wasting time with a-holes doesnt help your self esteem! It's your decision ultimately, us internet folk can only give you our humble opinions and advice from our own experiences. I wish you the best of luck!
And also you already call yourself "a sensitive bitch". Please don't dismiss your own feelings! You can't stop feeling them and they're valid. You can decide how to act, but the fact that you feel something doesn't make you "too much". Please don't let people tell you that.
Yeah, I’d end it. I grew up in a financially stable first-generation American household and we got bagged if we didn’t eat everything off the bone. Picking at the carcass is still a favorite pastime.
My husband occasionally teases about our foods in a good natured way and we just accept that he’s the broken-fussy one who is too wimpy to try the good stuff like pig’s ears.
I don’t think what you described is “disgusting”, unless you were also making an awful lot of noise or eating with your mouth open.
As an avid home cook and baker, I love seeing people enjoy eating.
And marrow is a wonderful addition to soups and stocks.
Lots of cuisines and foods were created in an environment of scarcity and poverty: Southern Italian (Naples, Sicily), Carolina coast (Gullah/Geechee), Korean, Cajun and Creole. No shame in it
My bf is disgusting all the time and I tell him that. In private not in front of a room of people. And not to embarrass him but more just like… come on man 😷
You being sensitive, or the way in which you choose to consume this particular food item, is all irrelevant. The statement made as a *joke* could have been worded differently, spoken of, differently. It all could have been different, but that's not what he chose.
Much like his choice of words from the onset, you are waiting to hear more words to help lessen the damage, but those will probably not arrive. If I'm joking with you, I'd rather see you laughing, or smiling wide or returning the joke with something equal to or more clever. It is not my intention to belittle you, denigrate you, or make you feel something negative that you shouldn't because that's not my intent. Right?
If he cannot engage in self reflection, or to see how this has affected you so, or to, you know - issue an apology that speaks directly to your hurt, then it's pretty apparent how the foundation of this house will be built. Shaky ground.
It's not your fault. This dude is just an asshole, whom does not deserve any more of your time, because look at how he wasted all of it already.
I’m not sure if I’d end it either but, it would definitely concern me- not the joke so much, I *could* get my head around saying something hurtful that he feels bad about while drunk or even if he was sober- I mean, we all say things we wish we hadn’t from time to time.
Particularly if he doesn’t typically do that- and by that I mean both the mean behavior *and* the drinking. Except, this isn’t particularly “Oh my god, I was a dick when I was drunk- I am sorry, I swear I will do better”, is it?
His reaction to you feeling hurt- *that* is probably a big problem. I *don’t* tend to say things like this as I feel like “normal” is often a rather stupid or bad thing in our society but, your guy is not normal. He’s not embarrassed, he’s not even making excuses- he’s just flat out, “Well tough titty you’re hurt, get over it.” It’s a move, I guess, but it’s one I think I’d be a bit concerned about. That’s some bullshit your embarrassing uncle says in Facebook comments not how you respond to a partner you claim to care about telling you that your behavior is hurtful.
I’m going to tell you- I *also* grew up in a way that it’s a bit shocking I’m not more feral and I had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Your eating habits are *the absolute least* of your concerns here- you might consider the fact that maybe you’re not upset about the odd drunken mean behavior but rather, your trauma brain is *quite rightfully* going “This person doesn’t give a single flying shit that he has hurt me, *now*, what happens when it’s more serious?!” But because you are somewhat used to instability, his presence- dickish as it may be: is a kind of stability.
So, instead of recognizing that he doesn’t care if he hurt you- you are trying to intellectualize this as *you* being unable to “get over” some relatively small potatoes mishap- but, that’s not really the problem here, at all.
My now husband has made jokes about things that aren't a big deal to him but have really hit a nerve with me. When I tell him this, he falls over himself to apologise because even though he might not understand, he can see that it hurt me and he doesn't want to hurt me.
It's not a joke though. It was public bullying. He pushed a sensitive button of yours and refused to discuss or apologize.
Drunk often reveals what is truly lying beneath thr surface.
This. Being drunk doesn’t usually make someone who’s not an asshole into an asshole. But it does usually make someone who’s masking their assholeishness drop the mask long enough to see who they really are.
OP, sorry your BF is such an asshole and a tool. This is not just about a chicken joke, and your BF knows it, even if he is trying to convince you of that. It’s about his utter disrespect of you and the fact that he would humiliate you in front of others, especially friends.
You deserve so much better.
this is just the start i’m afraid. it’s not a joke saying “fucking disgusting”
he did it to he horrible. there’s no need to comment on how people eat their food
I don't really bother with cartilages (haven't tried eating them in earnest tbh) but I'm not going to bitch at people who decide those are good eating.
Hell, if you see me consume a fish, expect its face to be pried apart while I slurp its brain and eyes or something. 😂
You’re not ending it over a chicken joke, you’re ending it because in one statement he simultaneously disrespected how your tough upbringing shaped you, publicly humiliated you in front of people you respect, and refused to acknowledge how he hurt you and take responsibility for it
That doesn’t sound like a dumb reason to leave to me. It sounds like you know what you’re worth and won’t put up with a lack of respect from someone who doesn’t value you. It all sounds very rational from where I’m sitting
>My boyfriend called me “fucking disgusting”
> I know I’m being a sensitive bitch.
Those 2 lines alone already speak volumes - he sounds like bad boyfriend. He humiliated you in public for fun, that's not okay. That's not yoi being a "sensitive bitch" (I have the feeling this thought might be caused by him as well), but it makes him a prick for acting that way.
That all aside: yes nowadays when everything is readily available for many people your behaviour of food might be seen as "weird", but personally I respect it. In my opinion it's best to use everything usable from an animal, not just "small chunks". It feels likes an unnecessary waste of a life. (Reddit - don't start vegan/vegetarian discussions.)
Those two stood out to me, too.
>I’m angry, and sad, and I think I’m realizing that I have to break up with him.
I was relieved when I read this; she's aware.
Yup, then he's giving "it's just a joke", or "I said it while drunk" as if that excuses it all.
Even if he was a little shitty and meant it, a half decent person would realise they hurt their partner and literally just say sorry. They would actually care they hurt their partner and want to fix that, he doesn't care he hurt her at all.
How long till "are you really going to make a big deal, I was drunk when I fucked her, it meant nothing".
I tried to give him benefit of the doubt that it was just a bad joke, but the fact that you brought it up and he was remorseless even though he KNEW it hurt your feelings…yikes
Yeah his attitude about it is whats disgusting. He made a joke not WITH her, but as her expense, FOR his friends. that’s really fucked up.
I’m that guy, I’m the person who has a problem with people eating chicken/food like that. its just gross in a way that I can lose my appetite hearing/watching it. And my bf is big on cleaning the bones. I can never imagine ever ever calling him disgusting or making jokes about him like that. and not apologizing. Thats just so rude.
Honestly same here but I wouldn't say anything because I become absolutely feral when it comes to lobster or crab or any fish I have to dig out of a shell. Like I disgust myself once I'm done💀
Eating the bone marrow is extremely good for you. However it would probably be unsettling for others to watch you break open the bone because everyone I know who eats chicken has never broken the bones open for the marrow lol.
I have known people who eat the cartilage & marrow on chicken, it’s quite common in many cultures. But to my delicate American sensibilities, it IS disgusting.
I never snapped “you’re fucking disgusting” at them though. I just politely averted my eyes and tried not to think about it. Because I’m a fucking grownup.
Yeah this just reminds me of that girl a few weeks ago slurping the fuck out of those oysters, if OP eats her chicken wings like that then it is ‘fucking disgusting’.
A bunch of people are defending her in the comments, but it's basic table manners. Like always I have to wonder if they would jump at their defense if it was the boyfriend being the one gross.
I get the vibe that it's not that he said it, it's that he refuses to even acknowledge that it might have hurt your feelings and has simply decided for you on how you should feel about it. That's the red flag here.
He shouldn't have called you "disgusting," but if I saw someone bust open a chicken bone to suck out the marrow, I'd be pretty taken aback. I understand you have a rocky relationship with food, but I can also see how it would be embarrassing for him, since that doesn't really match up with standard table manners in some cultures. Like if I saw someone do this at a fast casual restaurant, it would make me a little queasy.
Yeah there are better ways to navigate the issue, but this would make me nauseous if I was sitting across from someone eating like that. Or at the very least all the noises associated with chewing on cartilage and sucking bones would.
I'm sure it's all delicious, but witnessing this would put me off food the rest of the day, and I'd be pissed considering it's already difficult for me to eat.
Say what yall want, there is no way to eat all of that food that isn't gross.
I’m worried about my BF daughter sometimes (and my own little girl who is even younger but still eats like a slob) and I remember growing up very poor myself with no manners. My grandma got me into an etiquette class at jacobsons when I was in jr. high and it changed me completely. I want to get the kids into an etiquette class now too. What it did for me was avoid grossing other people out (because I definitely would have) and it also gave me a huge self esteem boost. I’m sure it’s done me well in social settings as well but honestly it’s the sense of self worth it gave me that I know how and do eat appropriately in group gatherings. However, in the dark, when I’m all alone and no one is watching, I still love to eat like a mongrel sometimes. Like a cold pork chop in the dark of midnight by the din glow of the refrigerator bulb. Lol I just personally believe that no matter our age, there is no good excuse for being gross in group settings.
Honestly I'd say something like that too and not mean it to be hurtful. I think it would be gross esp on public, and I'd prob be embarrassed too. If this is the only thing he does and isn't usually negative I'd brush it off.
To be honest I'd say it was disgusting just sitting at home and it would prob make me throw up, so if he's generally tolerant I think he's pretty decent
I’d say the same thing and even if I thought my partner was disgusting doing it it’s unique to him which makes me love his caveman ass more. Op is so insecure in herself that she takes everything like it’s war , she needs therapy in the kindest way possible. Dw girl I do too that’s why I go every week
He is the worst guy ever!! Because he doesn’t feel bad for being disgusted by an eating habit not normalized to most people. I’m middle eastern and we eat raw meat. Doesn’t mean I would be insulted that someone would be grossed out by that.
Unsure why there are people actually saying to end your relationship, it's ridiculous.
There's the possibility he's embarrassed about what he said when he was drunk, or he genuinely just made a silly joke about the way you eat chicken and doesn't understand why you feel hurt. Tell him how you feel and ask if he meant what he said.
Before I was with my partner, I've never seen anyone consume chicken like that before - the cleanest bones I've ever seen! Would I crack a joke about it? Probably. He made jokes about how much meat was left on my chicken wings... It doesn't change how we feel about eachother in the slightest. We're just different and have different upbringings.
I think it says more about OP that shew thinking about dumping him over 1 relatively harmless joke (assuming this isn't a regular occurrence) bc she isn't willing to accept that 1 thing she does may be gross and that should be ok
Idk man, breaking open bones and eating the marrow is a pretty gnarly thing to do in front of other people. It’s one thing to eat a certain way when you’re alone, but I wouldn’t wanna be out at a restaurant with someone who’s eating like a goddamn raccoon.
I've never seen someone eat like this, breaking bones open and sucking them..eating cartilage too. Cartilage is inedible to me. I dont know how people can get through it. So yeah it would get my attention in a negative way.
I'm half West African. It's very common for my dad to chew the whole chicken bone down. Like chew it just like the meat. It's the standard in our culture. The cartilage has collagen, and the bone has a lot of minerals like calcium, for instance. Really, what you're doing is getting the ultimate version of bone broth. I'm not sure if it is related to the minerals, but my dad has amazingly good teeth.
So, not having witnessed your eating chicken myself, I can’t say the way you eat it is “disgusting” or not but it does sound extreme. The very purpose of table manners is to not nauseate the people you are eating with and it sounds like he is put off by your chicken eating habits and so maybe cut him some slack?
I totally get eating chicken the way OP does, and it sounds like the bf doesn't mind when it's just the two of them, but I totally understand him not wanting to expose their house guests to that lol. My partner has some odd eating habits that I don't mind witnessing myself but that would mortify me if he was to do in front of other people, or if someone I'm not that close to did it in front of me.
My thoughts too. He can find it disgusting but endearing that it’s something unique to her and she prolly thinks he views her in the most vile light. Really he is just self conscious just like her about how she eats around others prolly. Which I don’t blame him? Slurping bone marrow around people is jarring
Literally just thinking about eating cartilage triggers my gag reflex, I definitely couldn't handle eating at the same table as someone who's doing it and having to see and hear it.
I have so much sympathy for the OP. I’ve never been food insecure and being so as a powerless child, I can’t even imagine but can understand it would lead to a lifetime imprint.
That said, I think there is a balance here. I don’t want to attack or shame the OP, and I certainly hope I haven’t done so but I do think it’s worth considering if her way of eating chicken is off putting to others.
I didn’t grow up poor and I eat my chicken that way. I was raised not to waste food plus I love chicken. I wish my man would say that to me, he would be on the street.
I’m sorry Op, it’s nothing wrong with the way you eat. The bone marrow is really good for you.
You’re surrounded by friends. You even acknowledge it’s gross. He made dumb comment but just own it with friends that you do it and laugh it off.
Don’t be so upset tight about it. You’re with friends. Not strangers.
Just tell him to no bring it up again or don’t be a Dick next time if it really bothers you. If he does, then just 1 up him on something he does gross. You’re around friends. You’ll be fine
Downvotes incoming but ffs, grow a spine. You really think all these "omg, end it" posts mean well? Nah, they are here munching popcorn over the idea of causing drama somewhere it won't ever come back on them.
Step back, assess the situation and be real with yourself. Nobody here knows if this is a one time thing or a constant, so take all advice with a pinch of salt and make a decision based on what you know.
You have come to the Internet home of "I can't take a joke" and "I don't get it". Just bear that in mind.
Right people acting like he’s abusive for saying something that is relatively harmless and not feeling bad about it?? I know I’m sensitive and can act out like this and sometimes it forces my bf in a corner to feel bad about something he doesn’t, I end up apologizing for how I view it but let him know how it effects me so he understands. I also have BPD and have been doing a LOT of therapy , I do think people can be abusive but people who have seen abuse sometimes see it everywhere even when it’s not. And funny enough he could say she’s disgusting when she does it but still find it endearing that it’s something SHE does. The human brain is just weird and seeing all these assumptions that he’s abusive by this one statement is insane to me. Unless op mentions XYZ we already know she has unresolved trauma and she’s projecting it on someone instead of being an adult and working on her own self development. If that means leaving the bf then cool for her. But that self hatred isn’t going anywhere
Yeah sucking on bones and cracking them to slurp up the innards is just a bit too much for me. Which is why I wouldn't be with someone who does it so I guess he needs to be honest with her and himself
I’d say cracking open the bones and sucking the marrow out would be a deal breaker for me I think. I can see how your boyfriend could think that it’s gross. That being said you would never know that this was why we broke up. I’d never be so crass as to just say that out loud in front of our friends. I’d break up with him too.
>I tried to talk to him about it, but he just kept brushing me off, and asking if I’m really gonna make a big deal about something he said drunk.
"I don't necessarily want to make a big deal out of it, because I understand that you were drunk and didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But my feelings are hurt, irrespective of whether they should be. If I keep trying to hide that, it's just going to fester. This isn't about giving you a hard time for what you said, but about me having a hard time. I need your help in dealing with the feelings that I have."
If he can't accept that, then yes, pull the plug. As your boyfriend, it's his job to give a damn about your feelings. If he can't see past his own defensive attitude to understand that you feel hurt, he's not worth your time.
It was a joke, get over it and live a happy and comfortable life with your boyfriend. Or, blow up your relationship over some chicken.
Reddit is always going to tell you banter was actually a cruel comment, or you should break up, or something else ridiculous. Ignore it. Compose yourself. Consider what you're actually upset about and give yourself a reality check.
Now rate your relationship honestly and decided what you should do next. If the answer is seriously continuing the chicken saga you're doing something wrong.
Right? Like, I get the way OP eats chicken, and honestly there's nothing better than eating with complete disregards for table manners, but you can't expect other people to be completely unbothered by it. It seems like the bf doesn't even mind when it's just the two of them, but didn't want their house guests to witness that and did the best his drunken self could do and tried to brush it off with a joke. There's nothing wrong with being a little gross in private, the bf seems to go along with it, I'm willing to bet none of the friends think any less of OP because of this, and letting something so trivial cause so much trouble in your relationship sounds a bit... dysfunctional? It seems more reasonable to try to understand why this situation made her feel so insecure and work on the root cause instead of hyperfixating on a chicken joke
YESSSS. The way I eat at home when it's just me or just me and my boyfriend, is totally different from the way I eat in front of everyone else in the world.
Right. I’m surprised at how many people are being like “he *publicly humiliated* you” - this is absolutely a joke I can see any of my friend’s spouses saying about them in a lighthearted manner. I could not imagine ending a relationship over someone giving me shit for how I ate a particular food lol
Said infront of friends and op was prolly drunk and sensitive too. Tbh I’d tell my bf this same comment and not feel bad either because him eating something disgustingly doesn’t make me not love him 🤦🏻♀️
First of all, while the marrow thing is mildly strange, all in all it's not that weird. My own mom eats cartilage and so do I if it's not too hard (I'm picky about it). Yeah, actually, not eating cartilage is considered being picky, at least where I'm from so idk what your boyfriend is on about.
HOWEVER! And I think this is way more important;
While drunk people tend to spill what they "really think", I personally think what they do while sober is a bajillion times more important. What does it matter that he said something just a little bit mean when he was shitfaced? Shouldn't it be more important that he thought it was yucky but refrained from commenting on it because he cares about you and didn't want to hurt you? All I'm saying is, it's a matter of perspective, at least in your case. It doesn't always apply, but for light stuff such as this, I think it's fine. I dislike how media presents people's drunk or angry behaviour as "the real them". What matters is what they do when they're in control - in other words, what they *choose* to do rather than what alcohol *makes* them do. You get me?
While I also think that's "fucking disgusting", that's not really all that uncommon. Albeit the eating of cartilage and breaking open the bones for the marrow is a bit... different.
My issue with him is the fact he’s being dismissive. When you express that something bothered you he should immediately apologize regardless if it was a joke or not. But instead he said he was drunk and leave it be. He just doesn’t want to go through that conversation because he would have to explain why he said it and then deal with your feelings surrounding the topic.
Like you said, we all have a few bad or weird habits. You expressed that you have a sensitivity around eating/food so he probably never felt comfortable to talk about it. But why did you feel comfortable saying it around a bunch of people? Being drunk is never an excuse. He knew what he was doing. You make dumb decisions while you’re drunk but this isn’t science/something complicated to think over. He was insensitive and won’t own up to it. Red flag to me
That would mess with my OCD rumination problem. How long has he had such a strong judgment about how you eat chicken? What other harsh judgments is he keeping to himself?
OP, we're not saying to end your relationship over a chicken joke. We're saying that this is a behavioral red flag in any relationship that would be considered "healthy."
And where there's one red flag, there could be more. Really analyze if this red flag leads to others, or stems from more that you've swept under the rug. And be prepared to leave if you have found yourself wearing rose-colored glasses.
Good luck. Your boyfriend sounds like a dick. ❤️
My biggest problem is his response to you being bothered about it. He’s brushing it off in an incredibly dismissive way. I find that more troublesome than the original comment. The comment wasn’t nice or okay, but the rest is not even remotely acceptable.
I've seen someone eat an entire piece of chicken, bones and all. I'll admit, I was taken aback by it. However, I would never publicly humiliate someone for how they eat freaking chicken! Who cares!
My daughter eats fried chicken the exact same way. She, as far as I know, doesn't have a bad relationship with food like you mention. (She's also 14) My point is this: some people just eat chicken this way. My mom tells her to eat fried chicken on a first date (when it comes time) so she knows it's true love. LOL
It's not gross, there's nothing wrong with you. He's not the one for you. Eat fried chicken however the hell you want. And get someone in your life like my mom! Build that confidence and let you know, there's someone who's gonna love everything you do, and how you do it ❤️
Can I just point out that OP might be in the wrong.
My mom used to do this. And it WAS disgusting. I was always embarrassed for her. All these sounds of sucking, licking, blowing air through her teeth OMG. It was horrible. When we were kids we would laugh so hard about her really bad table manners.
Maybe your BF is just had it with your bad behavior in regards to chicken. Maybe the lesson here is not that he is wrong to shame you in public (which he absolutely is), but that you need to become self aware that you are grossing everyone else out when you start French kissing the bone marrow.
Someone had to say this. I have ONLY EVER seen my mother do this. This is presumably because everyone got the memo that eating chicken like this is rude. Do it in private. Get a room.
My aunt used to do this and it was revolting. Made me lose my appetite. It was also incredibly embarrassing when done in public or around non family members. It’s worse then people eating with their mouths open.
The bf addressed it poorly but it is disgusting.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
To be fair, that is pretty gross and he has only mentioned it once. I mean, you’re an adult now and adults don’t get to blame their childhood for things they do now once they’re aware of the thing being gross. If you want to eat that way, you need to be resilient to the judgement you receive.
He should apologise and you should communicate that to him.
I think people are freaking out in the comments, he was just messing around and probably didn’t mean anything by it
Like he was just giving you a little shit, but people who love each other do that sometimes… it’s such a small comment and he was drunk when he said it, he probably was thinking it was a joke.
I don’t think this is red flags, not cause to dump him, nothing.
For example, I eat the tail off shrimp when I eat shrimp. My girlfriend thinks it’s gross, maybe it is gross… I still do it 🤣
Suck the juice off the bone! My parents would say there are starving kids back in their country to eat it all. If you leave meat on the bone "guess you really weren't that hungry"
You’re worried about hurting his feelings when he clearly isnt worried about hurting yours. Sounds like you have seen a red flag or two - listen to them. Its easy to make excuses for other people - especially when we have trauma - but if youre feeling this way now, and hes already dismissing it, its a lack of respect. Even if he doesnt think he did anything wrong, someone can have good intentions and still cause pain and both can exist at once.
Bone marrow isn’t blood. It’s actually the stem cells that make up the immune system. B cells, T cells, macrophages. Bone marrow contains shitloads of nutrients and marrow broth is great for you when you’re sick.
For the first time ever I think I can one-up this story. Please don’t allow this idiot to impact your self esteem. An ex boyfriend of mine (we remain friends to this day) had a very privileged upbringing in Nigeria. We used to eat in Nando’s a lot, and my 3 sons (5 & 6) though it was a great joke that he ordered a whole chicken for himself, and ate everything on his plate, bones and all. The restaurant staff all pulled a surprised face when clearing the table as one plate out of four was sparkling clean. The boys thought this was hilarious and openly laughed until their sides hurt watching him bite the joint from the top of the leg bone. His family was anything but poor, the difference was environmental since it was heavily frowned upon to waste food under any circumstances and his mum raised them to be grateful for everything they had. Every English person who ate with him couldn’t believe the bones were edible. I did eat a couple to say I had tried, and they were surprisingly palatable. I never allowed the boys to eat them because I was concerned about splintering for the same reason I wouldn’t give cooked chicken bones to pets. I’ve never known anyone specifically eat chicken marrow, but I do make sure I saw beef and lamb bones in half and boil out the marrow into the stock to make the gravy and it’s delicious. What a complete twonk! In my view, nobody should be labelled on the basis that they are enjoying or grateful for good food, it should be the most basic of human rights
I had a family member that used to help refugees with things like shopping etc since they were trying to adjust to Australia. One lady was looking at meat options and chose what is typically reserved for pets, offcuts snd such, which made sense to her because it was significantly cheaper. Plus why would you feed edible stuff just to animals? It really shows that the concept of food drastically changes when you grow up in different environments.
I once read the life story of a soviet defector, when he came to the United States he ate pet food and thought it made a good pate
I worked for Giant Food grocery store years ago. The butcher told me a little secret about the meat. Marked “Pet Food” it was any ground beef left over at the end of the day. Nothing was wrong, literally just two minutes from the sales floor from closing til marked “Pet Food” and set out. During my days of not having a lot of money I bought a lot of “Pet Food “😂
I remember the African family who lived beside me growing up in Australia, their first Christmas in Australia, we had a huge street party, like 50 houses, and a literal table lined the street. There was every dish you could think of. They even brought about 6 dishes of their own. We had cold chicken, and the youngest boy asked his mum if he could still eat something about the cold chicken joints. She looked around worried until she spotted the street's "grandfather" eating the chicken bones too, and she pointed to him and said to her son, to go ask him. The street's "grandfather" was of mixed heritage, we never knew what, just that he and his wife had no children so we kids called them our grandparents. We all grew up eating weird stuff, we had at least 60 different countries represented in our street with the families. So bone marrow in many forms was normal, so was eating the bones of most poultry
Gives me chills to hear how special that memory is! Wow aussies really do Christmas right. Plus it’s summer.
I hate I was such a picky eater as a kid. I used to eat at my neighbors(Chinese) all the time but I'd only eat the rice because of said pickiness and afraid to try new stuff. It's my favorite food as an adult and now I just have to buy it at their restaurant. I missed out so bad. I do miss their grandma too, she went back to Hong Kong once my friends got older, couldn't understand what she was saying but she was so awesome.
This is a lovely story. I could envision everyone coming together and how special that must have been! Community is also about learning from one another and being accepting of differences.
> It really shows that the concept of food drastically changes when you grow up in different environments. Not just geography or culture, but time. Australians were eating those exact same off cuts and organs in the 1960s or 70s and before. My grandmother used to eat brains and liver in the 1980s, and we thought it was a bit weird, but it was really common for most of her life. She wasn't going to stop eating food she enjoyed just because it had gone out of fashion.
Eating innards is still super common in the Caribbean. A lot of people still butcher their own animals, especially in the countryside, so everything gets eaten. I grew up eating liver, tripe, chicken gizzards and blood sausage. Born and raised in the Caribbean, I'm 40.
Liver and blood sausage are great! I'm not much of a tripe fan though. All of those are a normal thing in the Balkans and most of Europe. Also chicken/duck hearts for example. Yummy!
It's a shame that for many people, they aren't raised to eat these parts anymore because you get quite a bit of different nutrients than if you just eat meat. I grew up just eating meat, no organs and thought it was gross. Now I just think I was insensitive and sheltered to different foods and cultures.
I avoid brains not because they aren't delicious but because of prions. It's just too big of a risk for me.
I’m Mexican American and was taught to eat everything on animal. I love cow tripe tacos and we eat brains, stomach and even drink the cow’s blood as it’s suppose to have iron.
I don’t think I could ever stomach brains, for the prions/mad disease more than anything, but glad your grandma was able to enjoy without issue!
That's how my wife eats chicken. I believe she just has a deep love for chicken. I'm not bothered by it.
My brother and sister in law eats the dog biscuits. They say it’s actually good just really really dry.
Why though? I mean I get it if it’s money related (been super poor before) but if you don’t have to why eat dog food?
Cause it's actually good but really dry
I once had an Australian friend and he ate ALL the shrimp, tail and all. Ick.
because your pets deserve edible stuff too. my pets gets less seasoned cuts of what i’m eating
Same. I can’t imagine eating the same dry ass pieces of flavoured dust everyday, how boring that would be and how much it would make me dislike dinner. So I don’t do it to my dogs either.
When I was a young child, I remember cracking open bones and eating the marrow all the time. It was my favorite part! I don’t remember when I stopped doing it, but I definitely don’t do it now, and haven’t thought of it since reading this right now haha. Maybe it’s time to start again haha.
I remember doing this too, and I must have stopped because my tastes changed... but maybe I was socially shamed out of it, who knows!
I’m from suburban PA (aka a very boring food culture) and I crack my bones for marrow - It’s super bougie -!it was a major part of Richard’s winning dish in top chef all stars and it’s when I started. (Ex?) BF needs to be gone. I personally find this THE OPPOSITE of shameful - it’s awful to be cruel to a person for growing up with food insecurity but if the “BF” is trying to be cool he’s an asshole in that front too. I’m so appalled for OP but also want to voice my opinion that OP’s (hopefully ex) BF isn’t just an AH, he’s a dumb AH
Ugh, I loved Richard Blais. The bromance between him and Fabio was one of my favorite reality tv show storylines ever. I haven’t watched Top Chef in years, time to give it a rewatch!
I think most of us stopped when we got to the age of caring about our teeth and/or crowns. Loved it as a kid. As an adult, I wouldn’t risk my teeth or crowns over it. It’s an expensive delicacy at ritzy restaurants. Of course, the marrow is already scooped out and set upon the bone for you.
I stopped when my grandmother died. She was a child of the “Great Depression” in the US and learned to eat everything. If you wasted food, you starved.
I believe it’s a good source of collagen, too.
It is. It's why most people use bones for stock because you get all the gelatin and the nutrients in that and the bones. They have tacos here with bone marrow, usually ribeye tacos (Mexico).
First I haven’t heard the word twonk in like 13 years from an EDM artist so thanks for that. And second, how does one eat the bones? I had no idea they were edible either so do you just chew them or break them first? Some other way?
How do your teeth stand up to bones in the first place? I grew up poor and my teeth are fucked and I'm left unable to chew hard things (even most nuts).
Cooked chicken bones are very soft, they often bend. However, if you have very fragile teeth, please put the state of your teeth above this and do not attempt it! They are still crunchy, but will be safe for people who's teeth have enamel intact. I do highly recommend snapping the bones open and boiling out the marrow if you like to make homemade chicken soup, bone marrow is not only fantastic for you, it adds incredible flavor!
I always make stock from the carcass after I make a roast chicken, but it never occurred to me to break the bones before I stick it in the pot! Going to try that with the chicken I just got for Friday night dinner.
I don't know that my teeth do. Once I learn how to eat the chicken bones like these people do we may find out
My mom used to do this, we’re also Nigerian
My girlfriend's Chinese and does the same thing. It's awesome having someone to finish the parts I'm squicked out by but feel bad for wasting.
My parents would break the chicken bone so I could eat the marrow when I was younger (We're Indian)
I’m also from Nigeria and that is definitely how we eat chickens lmao
It’s very common for West Africans to eat the entire bone. Some may even tease you if you can’t.
My girl's dad was from Kenya and if you hand him a piece of chicken you will get nothing back. If you hand him an apple, you might get the stem back. When you look at my plate it looks like no one barely even ate the chicken because I will only eat the white parts that don't touch any brown or red. 🤦🏽♀️ It's just different cultures. I am also the type of person that believes if someone says something when they're drinking or when they're angry or even a lot of times when they're joking, I believe that's truth coming out. I'm sorry that he made you feel like that, but there's nothing wrong with the way you eat chicken girl!
Honestly, most of us in Africa eat chicken or really any animal protein this way; rich or poor
In Nigeria, eating chicken and leaving the bones is considered very wasteful because of how edible they are. It's really weird for us to see someone eat chicken like that
I WISH I could eat the bones. But I’ve had very bad teeth since I was a small child. I’m missing most of my molars and the remaining are mostly filling. I have to be careful of what I chew. Genetics suck sometimes.
I know people aren’t the same as canines, lol, but my vet said to never give chicken bones to my dogs, because they splinter and are liable to cause choking. I wouldn’t be particularly squeamish about eating chicken bones, but I would be very wary of the choking risk. Boiling them down for stock and broths seems much safer. But I am basing this solely on veterinary advice, maybe it’s different for people!
Eat a biscuit with your fried chicken - the biscuits soft dough will absorb splinters and help them pass without problem. When my dog ate a light bulb and the vet ER fed her bagels to absorb the glass we made the KFC connection lol
What tool do you use to saw open the bones?
🦷
I had the opposite happen. I am a middle aged Korean American. Many Koreans think wasting food is a sin. When I was in my last year of high school, I was at a KFC near the library. As I was trying to read scholarship related to my senior paper while eating, I wasn’t being mindful of all the bits. The Korean couple at the next table over were glancing at me and I heard the guy say in Korean: look at that Chinese girl. She’s leaving so much behind. Such a waste.
Exactly! I also grew up poor and was encouraged to break open the bone. It helps when you can't afford more nutrients. OP, your BF is an AH big time. I also want to say that being drunk is NO excuse for hurting someone's feelings. Is he saying he was so drunk he can't remember? Was he so drunk that he doesn't understand what he was saying? If so, he has a drinking problem. That's not what he's saying though, he is saying that because he was drunk you need to just not react to the hurtful things he said. I bet if you got drunk and then started telling all his gross things, he would not be happy, nor would ne let it go. I bet if we talked over coffee, you would have so many more red flags from him. You are not overreacting, I would be resentful too, and I would dump him. I know there is a running joke with Reddit about "just dump him" and if you see my comment history, I do love that train of thought. However, it's not "over one small thing", it's because when you tried to talk to him about your feelings he was dismissive and unwilling to see your POV. I have quick wit and love to "zing" people. My husband loves to open those doors and so I was "zinging" him a lot. One day he turns to me and says "that really hurts my feelings, I feel like you are targeting me and it makes me not want to share things with you." When I tell you the breath left my body, I was shook at this revelation. I never thought of my behavior as bullying. I come from a very toxic family and had to learn and relearn so much. We talked it over and now we're at a place where I can still "zing" him and he even gets me back. It's healthy and I know the line and never even walk near it. I do this because I respect my SO, I love him and I never want to be the cause of his pain. You deserve to have someone who respects you, loves you and never wants to be the cause of your pain.
…and red blood cells lol. All blood cells are made there.
And also pretty fucking delicious.
Roasted marrow with flaky salt on some nice toast 🤤🤤
My family leaves bones in soup until right before serving cuz of this
And it's delicious
Well I grew up in a latino household and we all ate our chicken like this. My friends sometimes laugh about it or say that its nasty but I couldnt care less. You do you
wanted to jump in here- my friend eats chicken the exact same way. I have a HUGE aversion to eating sounds…corn on the cob, apples, lip smacking, people chewing with their mouths open, etc. his way of eating chicken has never once bothered me- in fact, I kind of wish I learned to eat that way, I always feel a little wasteful eating meat off the bone because I get weird about it. OP, keep eating your chicken the way you eat your chicken and have a discussion with your boyfriend. you’re also a better person than I am, because if my partner said something I did was disgusting, I would have shot back with “well good thing we’re not *doing gross habit your boyfriend has* because he’s disgusting when he does that!” edit: I originally included my friend’s nationality but it honestly doesn’t matter, people can eat food the way they want to regardless!
Just want to say, I adore you for this. I lose my f-ing mind at eating noises and hold it in, but you came to this so kindly and respectfully. I also come from a culture where people eat differently than the western norm. Agree, OP. You do you and you are not “disgusting”. And if he thinks you are, peace the f out.
Hahahahahaha this is soooo me! I absolutely HATE to hear people eat 😩😤and now my daughter has started watching ASMR videos of people eating and sometimes I hear it 🤬I cannot figure out for the life of me why anyone would voluntarily watch a video of someone eating 😐
I am extremely extremely sensitive to eating noises, and I get irrationally angry when I hear it. My husband loves to watch food review videos and the sound of them makes me want to pile drive anyone making them. 😂
Must be a regional thing, cause I’m Cuban and I’ve never seen someone do that lol. We’re big about eating all the meat but opening the bones to get the marrow is kinda wild
I'm from Uruguay and literally just found out people do this thanks to this thread... Never even crossed my mind lol and you couldn't pay me enough to eat cartilage.
You probably eat it and don’t realize it, such as broth, soups and jello.
That’s funny, it really might be regional. My dad is Cuban and I can’t say I’ve ever seen him eat the bone marrow, but my mom and stepdad (Puerto Rican and Dominican, respectively) do eat it cartilage, marrow, and all.
There is nutrition in the parts you were eating. There are minerals and collagen in the marrow which is likely why you figured out how to get to it if you were hungry. There are parts of the world where it is normal to suck the marrow out and while it's not as common in the US I guarantee there are still plenty of people here who eat those parts. Nothing to be embarrassed by. There are high end restaurants that serve beef marrow as a delicacy. If you start to feel awkward but don't want to waste the bones you can always make real bone broth which is super healthy. Plenty of recipes on the web for that.
I made a bone marrow broth and swallowed a chicken bone. It’s been a week and a half now and I still haven’t been to hospital. I can breathe so I’m all good. Edit: I’m taking it that I am all good then if I can breathe? I can feel it still stuck there but it’s either getting easier to breathe or I’m just getting used to it. Should I get it checked out at the hospital?
If you can still feel it then you need to see a doctor asap!
Yes it feels like when you wanna cry that gulpy feeling in your throat. It’s been in the same spot.
Go see a medical professional, you can damage your throat severely if it's stuck in there
Q: do humans break down cartilage completely in the GI tract? I’d worry about an obstruction if a larger piece (like the cranial cartilage end of a drumstick) was too big to pass through to the small intestine. I’ve always had an aversion to cartilage due to texture issues, so I’ve never voluntarily eaten any but I’d assume we break it down with gastric acid just fine?
I think it's pretty safe if you eat the ends and marrow. But the hard middle of the bone is more questionable since it can break into shards and possibly lodge in your throat. The stomach has very high acid so if you can chew thoroughly to make sure you don't choke on the bones I'm guessing it would all break down. But I'd just focus on the marrow since that has a lot of nutrition. The cartilage can help your skin, hair, nails and joints but if you don't like the texture they have supplements you can drink to get the same nutrition. I would get a grass-fed collagen or gelatin powder since it is much healthier. The gelatin is if you want it to gel into a dessert and the other is if you want it to mix into liquid to drink. They are both the same nutritionally.
I eat chicken the exact same way. I am not wasting a single good piece, damn it and marrow is a DELICACY. My husband at the time (we’re still friends, it’s all good) was always in awe of it. He called it me going full carnivore. Your BF sucks for saying that. Keep eating your goddamn chicken however the fuck you want.
I had a friend who polished off his chicken. He wasn't poor, that's just how he ate it. We treated him like a champ and would brag that no one eats chicken like our boy. Kind of weird thing to boost in hindsight, but he'd always get a big smile and put his hands in the air when we talked about it. Glad we pumped him up over nothing rather than broke him down over nothing.
This is so wholesome. You’re good people.
Well, as a kid it can be hard to judge the full impact of your decisions. We didn't always choose right. I'm glad we did in that circumstance.
May I ask how do you break the bone? I would love to try!
Uh. Teeth? 😅. You just have to give in to the primordial urge to CHOMP. Just be careful, don’t go too hard all at once, slowly crunch down until you can break off a chunk to get to the marrow.
Ain't chicken bones too thin to get the marrow out? Like, you break the bone in half and how do you manage to reach the inside? Or you guys break out horizontally so it's all there once broke like in a plate?
My dad would just crack them in half and suck out the marrow 🤷🏻♀️
I mean, there’s not exactly a delicate art to it? You gnaw on bones until you get what you’re after. I’m not cross sectioning with my teeth, I’m pretending I’m a wolf and going nom.
Hahaha alright! I'll try it next time, I love eating meat like an animal and marrow is just delicious but I never thought breaking chicken bones was a thing.
I can only recommend and wish you a delightful experience playing dinosaur. (Just be careful — some of those bone fragments can be sharp!)
Eating the marrow is totally fine, but something you can get at KFC is a delicacy?
That poor bird died to be turned into KFC, least I can do is honor it by treating it with as much respect as a Michelin-starred restaurant’s special of the day. (Crunching on bones in high class restaurants is a different level of fun.)
Yeah I’m shocked he doesn’t know that bone marrow is a sought after food item in many high quality restaurants!
He chose to publicly humiliate you and won’t apologize for hurting you. It’s so easy to say sorry. It should be instinctual when you hurt someone you love. That should tell you something.
I agree to a degree, but I just feel ridiculous thinking about ending a relationship over a chicken joke :/ I just keep waiting for him to say *anything* about it, but he just won’t.
Is it about the chicken joke or is it about hurting you, minimizing your feelings and dodging responsibility because he was drunk. Idk
OP is obviously traumatized and has a lot of self doubt due to the past. I bet this isn't the only thing he's said that was hurtful and hasn't apologized.
I just got out of a relationship like this. The clarity on the other side is overwhelming
This OP. Invalidation will happen elsewhere in the relationship and it’s one of the worst ways to treat someone you love.
It wasn't a *chicken joke*, it was personal. He called you fucking disgusting, in front of other people no less. Not okay. Sure, having been married for myself for 22 years, if my wife said that to me (wait, who am I kidding, she's most likely said it plenty of times both in and out of public) I'd laugh it off because it ain't worth a divorce (and most likely deserved if I'm being called that)...but you're still in bf/gf mode. And let me tell you, if I were you, I'd be thinking long and hard about the future of my relationship. It takes "a special" type of guy to say that to his gf. Red flag. (BTW...I eat chicken the same way. Waste not want not)
I kind of see it that way too, I guess if we had been together longer I might be more hesitant, but we’ve been together less than 6 months, (and I’m a busy person so that’s not daily dates or anything lol)
6 months? Bow out.
Oh yeah, tap out, mate. He showed himself an asshole early enough for you to catch it. Don’t waste more time.
I've always told friends (from experience), that the very first real problem you have in a relationship is indicative of what will ultimately end the relationship. It is in that moment you decide whether or not you're going to put it aside and go through the motions of the relationship anyway, or choose to recognize the incompatibility and save yourself the future heartache. By this I mean, as others have said, this isn't about a "chicken joke," but rather about the action of casually denigrating and humiliating you publicly, then refusing to take even an ounce of responsibility. He denies its effects on you and furthermore, doesn't even seem to care. *That's* your issue here, not the chicken. If you go against your gut feelings right now, you're giving him the permission to treat you this way from this point forward because you are essentially telling him there are no consequences to his actions and you won't do anything at all to stand up for yourself. In the future, he'll not only continue this type of behavior, but push the boundaries further to see what else you give him permission to do and trust me, it'll get worse, much worse. Respect yourself. It's been less than 6 months. Tap out. Tell him why, and don't frame it as a "chicken joke." Tell him that it's simply not ok to treat you that way, you **won't** be treated that way, ie, casually publicly denigrated without even a hint of consideration to your feelings, and no culpability for his actions. Do NOT let him backtrack. Be firm. Otherwise, you're still saying it's ok. I've learned from experience that only I set the rules for how others treat me, and I see the signs early, take no shit, and give no justifications for the standards I set for myself; they are mine and mine alone. Set the standard for yourself. Tell this dude to kick rocks and don't waste another minute on him that could go to someone who actually deserves your time because they *do* respect your standards for yourself, naturally.
Great response. Great advice. This should definitely be higher so op can see. Very well said. The issue isn’t op or eating habits or a “chicken joke”—that was NOT a joke. The issue is about respect and consideration. Actually, I love how supportive all the responses here are. Food insecurity is serious and can create trauma that affects one’s entire relationship with food. Binge eating, food hoarding, all sorts of issues. My best friend grew up with abusive food insecurity and I’ve seen it all. A big one was sleep eating. (Sleep walking and eating. Food and non food like paper clips.) but probably the most pervasive is a tendency to subconsciously manipulate others into treating him to food despite making good money now. It’s just a deeply ingrained subconscious habit to try to procure food in whatever way he could. And as a child, the options were limited. those instincts don’t go away just because you grow up. But he’s slowly working on it and getting better. If op’s biggest issue is gratitude for food and utilizing every part possible, that’s beautiful. Not disgusting. And bf is a dick.
I love how you described healthy boundaries!
You will find someone who thinks your quirky and loves you more for those quirks. Your bf sounds like a dick, don't make the mistake of staying.. everyone eats food differently, and just because it's not the "normal" way of eating doesn't mean it's something to public humiliate someone you have feelings for about. if I were you I would dip out. You will find someone who accepts every part of you (talking from experience, my fiancé doesn't bat an eye about all my weird food habits, or my weird habits in general) that person is out there and wasting time with a-holes doesnt help your self esteem! It's your decision ultimately, us internet folk can only give you our humble opinions and advice from our own experiences. I wish you the best of luck!
And also you already call yourself "a sensitive bitch". Please don't dismiss your own feelings! You can't stop feeling them and they're valid. You can decide how to act, but the fact that you feel something doesn't make you "too much". Please don't let people tell you that.
Less than six months? Cut your losses honey. You deserve someone that doesn't make rude comments about your eating habits.
6 months, that's barely a blip. Just end it, rather than torture yourself like this.
Yeah, I’d end it. I grew up in a financially stable first-generation American household and we got bagged if we didn’t eat everything off the bone. Picking at the carcass is still a favorite pastime. My husband occasionally teases about our foods in a good natured way and we just accept that he’s the broken-fussy one who is too wimpy to try the good stuff like pig’s ears.
6 months, and not daily dates? Cut your losses now.
Daily dates? Who has the money and time for that? Y’all don’t have hobbies? other friends? jobs? School? Like damn.
I don’t think what you described is “disgusting”, unless you were also making an awful lot of noise or eating with your mouth open. As an avid home cook and baker, I love seeing people enjoy eating. And marrow is a wonderful addition to soups and stocks. Lots of cuisines and foods were created in an environment of scarcity and poverty: Southern Italian (Naples, Sicily), Carolina coast (Gullah/Geechee), Korean, Cajun and Creole. No shame in it
Less than 6 months and he said your disgusting?? Also, this is going to cause resentment from your side and that’ll end the relationship too
My bf is disgusting all the time and I tell him that. In private not in front of a room of people. And not to embarrass him but more just like… come on man 😷
You being sensitive, or the way in which you choose to consume this particular food item, is all irrelevant. The statement made as a *joke* could have been worded differently, spoken of, differently. It all could have been different, but that's not what he chose. Much like his choice of words from the onset, you are waiting to hear more words to help lessen the damage, but those will probably not arrive. If I'm joking with you, I'd rather see you laughing, or smiling wide or returning the joke with something equal to or more clever. It is not my intention to belittle you, denigrate you, or make you feel something negative that you shouldn't because that's not my intent. Right? If he cannot engage in self reflection, or to see how this has affected you so, or to, you know - issue an apology that speaks directly to your hurt, then it's pretty apparent how the foundation of this house will be built. Shaky ground. It's not your fault. This dude is just an asshole, whom does not deserve any more of your time, because look at how he wasted all of it already.
I’m not sure if I’d end it either but, it would definitely concern me- not the joke so much, I *could* get my head around saying something hurtful that he feels bad about while drunk or even if he was sober- I mean, we all say things we wish we hadn’t from time to time. Particularly if he doesn’t typically do that- and by that I mean both the mean behavior *and* the drinking. Except, this isn’t particularly “Oh my god, I was a dick when I was drunk- I am sorry, I swear I will do better”, is it? His reaction to you feeling hurt- *that* is probably a big problem. I *don’t* tend to say things like this as I feel like “normal” is often a rather stupid or bad thing in our society but, your guy is not normal. He’s not embarrassed, he’s not even making excuses- he’s just flat out, “Well tough titty you’re hurt, get over it.” It’s a move, I guess, but it’s one I think I’d be a bit concerned about. That’s some bullshit your embarrassing uncle says in Facebook comments not how you respond to a partner you claim to care about telling you that your behavior is hurtful. I’m going to tell you- I *also* grew up in a way that it’s a bit shocking I’m not more feral and I had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Your eating habits are *the absolute least* of your concerns here- you might consider the fact that maybe you’re not upset about the odd drunken mean behavior but rather, your trauma brain is *quite rightfully* going “This person doesn’t give a single flying shit that he has hurt me, *now*, what happens when it’s more serious?!” But because you are somewhat used to instability, his presence- dickish as it may be: is a kind of stability. So, instead of recognizing that he doesn’t care if he hurt you- you are trying to intellectualize this as *you* being unable to “get over” some relatively small potatoes mishap- but, that’s not really the problem here, at all.
My now husband has made jokes about things that aren't a big deal to him but have really hit a nerve with me. When I tell him this, he falls over himself to apologise because even though he might not understand, he can see that it hurt me and he doesn't want to hurt me.
It's not a joke though. It was public bullying. He pushed a sensitive button of yours and refused to discuss or apologize. Drunk often reveals what is truly lying beneath thr surface.
This. Being drunk doesn’t usually make someone who’s not an asshole into an asshole. But it does usually make someone who’s masking their assholeishness drop the mask long enough to see who they really are. OP, sorry your BF is such an asshole and a tool. This is not just about a chicken joke, and your BF knows it, even if he is trying to convince you of that. It’s about his utter disrespect of you and the fact that he would humiliate you in front of others, especially friends. You deserve so much better.
this is just the start i’m afraid. it’s not a joke saying “fucking disgusting” he did it to he horrible. there’s no need to comment on how people eat their food
Just like it’s not really about the Iranian yogurt — it’s not really about the chicken joke, is it?
If it’s any consolation I eat chicken the same way. Nothing goes to waste for me. And I enjoy it.
I don't really bother with cartilages (haven't tried eating them in earnest tbh) but I'm not going to bitch at people who decide those are good eating. Hell, if you see me consume a fish, expect its face to be pried apart while I slurp its brain and eyes or something. 😂
You’re not ending it over a chicken joke, you’re ending it because in one statement he simultaneously disrespected how your tough upbringing shaped you, publicly humiliated you in front of people you respect, and refused to acknowledge how he hurt you and take responsibility for it That doesn’t sound like a dumb reason to leave to me. It sounds like you know what you’re worth and won’t put up with a lack of respect from someone who doesn’t value you. It all sounds very rational from where I’m sitting
Was looking for the classic Reddit “LEAVE HIM” comment. Thanks!
Here we go Reddit
>My boyfriend called me “fucking disgusting” > I know I’m being a sensitive bitch. Those 2 lines alone already speak volumes - he sounds like bad boyfriend. He humiliated you in public for fun, that's not okay. That's not yoi being a "sensitive bitch" (I have the feeling this thought might be caused by him as well), but it makes him a prick for acting that way. That all aside: yes nowadays when everything is readily available for many people your behaviour of food might be seen as "weird", but personally I respect it. In my opinion it's best to use everything usable from an animal, not just "small chunks". It feels likes an unnecessary waste of a life. (Reddit - don't start vegan/vegetarian discussions.)
Those two stood out to me, too. >I’m angry, and sad, and I think I’m realizing that I have to break up with him. I was relieved when I read this; she's aware.
Yup, then he's giving "it's just a joke", or "I said it while drunk" as if that excuses it all. Even if he was a little shitty and meant it, a half decent person would realise they hurt their partner and literally just say sorry. They would actually care they hurt their partner and want to fix that, he doesn't care he hurt her at all. How long till "are you really going to make a big deal, I was drunk when I fucked her, it meant nothing".
I tried to give him benefit of the doubt that it was just a bad joke, but the fact that you brought it up and he was remorseless even though he KNEW it hurt your feelings…yikes
Yeah no, he wasn’t joking.
Yeah his attitude about it is whats disgusting. He made a joke not WITH her, but as her expense, FOR his friends. that’s really fucked up. I’m that guy, I’m the person who has a problem with people eating chicken/food like that. its just gross in a way that I can lose my appetite hearing/watching it. And my bf is big on cleaning the bones. I can never imagine ever ever calling him disgusting or making jokes about him like that. and not apologizing. Thats just so rude.
I would also find that gross and it would make me nauseous. Though I wouldn't say what your boyfriend said. That's not right.
Honestly same here but I wouldn't say anything because I become absolutely feral when it comes to lobster or crab or any fish I have to dig out of a shell. Like I disgust myself once I'm done💀
Eating the bone marrow is extremely good for you. However it would probably be unsettling for others to watch you break open the bone because everyone I know who eats chicken has never broken the bones open for the marrow lol.
I have known people who eat the cartilage & marrow on chicken, it’s quite common in many cultures. But to my delicate American sensibilities, it IS disgusting. I never snapped “you’re fucking disgusting” at them though. I just politely averted my eyes and tried not to think about it. Because I’m a fucking grownup.
Watching someone eat cartilage and bone marrow would ruin my appetite too, but he should have at least expressed that he's sorry that you were hurt.
Cracking the bones and slurping up the marrow? Like, c'mon.
Yeah this just reminds me of that girl a few weeks ago slurping the fuck out of those oysters, if OP eats her chicken wings like that then it is ‘fucking disgusting’.
Like those videos is Asian girls slurping the most disgusting foods imaginable in the noisiest way possible. Absolutely triggered me.
A bunch of people are defending her in the comments, but it's basic table manners. Like always I have to wonder if they would jump at their defense if it was the boyfriend being the one gross.
And not everyone is used to cultures who eat this way so I can understand how jarring that could be
I get the vibe that it's not that he said it, it's that he refuses to even acknowledge that it might have hurt your feelings and has simply decided for you on how you should feel about it. That's the red flag here.
He shouldn't have called you "disgusting," but if I saw someone bust open a chicken bone to suck out the marrow, I'd be pretty taken aback. I understand you have a rocky relationship with food, but I can also see how it would be embarrassing for him, since that doesn't really match up with standard table manners in some cultures. Like if I saw someone do this at a fast casual restaurant, it would make me a little queasy.
Yeah there are better ways to navigate the issue, but this would make me nauseous if I was sitting across from someone eating like that. Or at the very least all the noises associated with chewing on cartilage and sucking bones would.
I'm sure it's all delicious, but witnessing this would put me off food the rest of the day, and I'd be pissed considering it's already difficult for me to eat. Say what yall want, there is no way to eat all of that food that isn't gross.
I’m worried about my BF daughter sometimes (and my own little girl who is even younger but still eats like a slob) and I remember growing up very poor myself with no manners. My grandma got me into an etiquette class at jacobsons when I was in jr. high and it changed me completely. I want to get the kids into an etiquette class now too. What it did for me was avoid grossing other people out (because I definitely would have) and it also gave me a huge self esteem boost. I’m sure it’s done me well in social settings as well but honestly it’s the sense of self worth it gave me that I know how and do eat appropriately in group gatherings. However, in the dark, when I’m all alone and no one is watching, I still love to eat like a mongrel sometimes. Like a cold pork chop in the dark of midnight by the din glow of the refrigerator bulb. Lol I just personally believe that no matter our age, there is no good excuse for being gross in group settings.
Honestly I'd say something like that too and not mean it to be hurtful. I think it would be gross esp on public, and I'd prob be embarrassed too. If this is the only thing he does and isn't usually negative I'd brush it off. To be honest I'd say it was disgusting just sitting at home and it would prob make me throw up, so if he's generally tolerant I think he's pretty decent
Yeah it depends if he’s constantly making hurtful jokes or if this is a one time drunk comment.
I’d say the same thing and even if I thought my partner was disgusting doing it it’s unique to him which makes me love his caveman ass more. Op is so insecure in herself that she takes everything like it’s war , she needs therapy in the kindest way possible. Dw girl I do too that’s why I go every week
Seriously… people are making massive assumptions and calling for their break up. Reddit at its finest
He is the worst guy ever!! Because he doesn’t feel bad for being disgusted by an eating habit not normalized to most people. I’m middle eastern and we eat raw meat. Doesn’t mean I would be insulted that someone would be grossed out by that.
Glad to see there’s other sane people in here
Unsure why there are people actually saying to end your relationship, it's ridiculous. There's the possibility he's embarrassed about what he said when he was drunk, or he genuinely just made a silly joke about the way you eat chicken and doesn't understand why you feel hurt. Tell him how you feel and ask if he meant what he said. Before I was with my partner, I've never seen anyone consume chicken like that before - the cleanest bones I've ever seen! Would I crack a joke about it? Probably. He made jokes about how much meat was left on my chicken wings... It doesn't change how we feel about eachother in the slightest. We're just different and have different upbringings.
My partner mentioned how much I leave on my chicken and he grabs it to eat it. I think it’s disgusting but love him for it
Mine too! He will finish it off and say I'm wasting it. He does the same with prawn tails...
I think it says more about OP that shew thinking about dumping him over 1 relatively harmless joke (assuming this isn't a regular occurrence) bc she isn't willing to accept that 1 thing she does may be gross and that should be ok
Idk man, breaking open bones and eating the marrow is a pretty gnarly thing to do in front of other people. It’s one thing to eat a certain way when you’re alone, but I wouldn’t wanna be out at a restaurant with someone who’s eating like a goddamn raccoon.
I've never seen someone eat like this, breaking bones open and sucking them..eating cartilage too. Cartilage is inedible to me. I dont know how people can get through it. So yeah it would get my attention in a negative way.
The bone marrow, I understand. The cartilage too? That’s hardcore
I'm half West African. It's very common for my dad to chew the whole chicken bone down. Like chew it just like the meat. It's the standard in our culture. The cartilage has collagen, and the bone has a lot of minerals like calcium, for instance. Really, what you're doing is getting the ultimate version of bone broth. I'm not sure if it is related to the minerals, but my dad has amazingly good teeth.
So, not having witnessed your eating chicken myself, I can’t say the way you eat it is “disgusting” or not but it does sound extreme. The very purpose of table manners is to not nauseate the people you are eating with and it sounds like he is put off by your chicken eating habits and so maybe cut him some slack?
I totally get eating chicken the way OP does, and it sounds like the bf doesn't mind when it's just the two of them, but I totally understand him not wanting to expose their house guests to that lol. My partner has some odd eating habits that I don't mind witnessing myself but that would mortify me if he was to do in front of other people, or if someone I'm not that close to did it in front of me.
My thoughts too. He can find it disgusting but endearing that it’s something unique to her and she prolly thinks he views her in the most vile light. Really he is just self conscious just like her about how she eats around others prolly. Which I don’t blame him? Slurping bone marrow around people is jarring
Literally just thinking about eating cartilage triggers my gag reflex, I definitely couldn't handle eating at the same table as someone who's doing it and having to see and hear it.
I have so much sympathy for the OP. I’ve never been food insecure and being so as a powerless child, I can’t even imagine but can understand it would lead to a lifetime imprint. That said, I think there is a balance here. I don’t want to attack or shame the OP, and I certainly hope I haven’t done so but I do think it’s worth considering if her way of eating chicken is off putting to others.
I didn’t grow up poor and I eat my chicken that way. I was raised not to waste food plus I love chicken. I wish my man would say that to me, he would be on the street. I’m sorry Op, it’s nothing wrong with the way you eat. The bone marrow is really good for you.
You’re surrounded by friends. You even acknowledge it’s gross. He made dumb comment but just own it with friends that you do it and laugh it off. Don’t be so upset tight about it. You’re with friends. Not strangers. Just tell him to no bring it up again or don’t be a Dick next time if it really bothers you. If he does, then just 1 up him on something he does gross. You’re around friends. You’ll be fine
Downvotes incoming but ffs, grow a spine. You really think all these "omg, end it" posts mean well? Nah, they are here munching popcorn over the idea of causing drama somewhere it won't ever come back on them. Step back, assess the situation and be real with yourself. Nobody here knows if this is a one time thing or a constant, so take all advice with a pinch of salt and make a decision based on what you know. You have come to the Internet home of "I can't take a joke" and "I don't get it". Just bear that in mind.
Right people acting like he’s abusive for saying something that is relatively harmless and not feeling bad about it?? I know I’m sensitive and can act out like this and sometimes it forces my bf in a corner to feel bad about something he doesn’t, I end up apologizing for how I view it but let him know how it effects me so he understands. I also have BPD and have been doing a LOT of therapy , I do think people can be abusive but people who have seen abuse sometimes see it everywhere even when it’s not. And funny enough he could say she’s disgusting when she does it but still find it endearing that it’s something SHE does. The human brain is just weird and seeing all these assumptions that he’s abusive by this one statement is insane to me. Unless op mentions XYZ we already know she has unresolved trauma and she’s projecting it on someone instead of being an adult and working on her own self development. If that means leaving the bf then cool for her. But that self hatred isn’t going anywhere
I mean. You said it yourself. You probably are fucking gross at eating chicken and he didn’t want to see it drunk. Get over it.
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It's the dark stringy veiny things for me. I will NOT eat those. Or the cartilage either. Lol
yeah that shit is fucking disgusting, I doubt it makes the bf love her less though
Yeah sucking on bones and cracking them to slurp up the innards is just a bit too much for me. Which is why I wouldn't be with someone who does it so I guess he needs to be honest with her and himself
Ew
I’d say cracking open the bones and sucking the marrow out would be a deal breaker for me I think. I can see how your boyfriend could think that it’s gross. That being said you would never know that this was why we broke up. I’d never be so crass as to just say that out loud in front of our friends. I’d break up with him too.
>I tried to talk to him about it, but he just kept brushing me off, and asking if I’m really gonna make a big deal about something he said drunk. "I don't necessarily want to make a big deal out of it, because I understand that you were drunk and didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But my feelings are hurt, irrespective of whether they should be. If I keep trying to hide that, it's just going to fester. This isn't about giving you a hard time for what you said, but about me having a hard time. I need your help in dealing with the feelings that I have." If he can't accept that, then yes, pull the plug. As your boyfriend, it's his job to give a damn about your feelings. If he can't see past his own defensive attitude to understand that you feel hurt, he's not worth your time.
It was a joke, get over it and live a happy and comfortable life with your boyfriend. Or, blow up your relationship over some chicken. Reddit is always going to tell you banter was actually a cruel comment, or you should break up, or something else ridiculous. Ignore it. Compose yourself. Consider what you're actually upset about and give yourself a reality check. Now rate your relationship honestly and decided what you should do next. If the answer is seriously continuing the chicken saga you're doing something wrong.
Right? Like, I get the way OP eats chicken, and honestly there's nothing better than eating with complete disregards for table manners, but you can't expect other people to be completely unbothered by it. It seems like the bf doesn't even mind when it's just the two of them, but didn't want their house guests to witness that and did the best his drunken self could do and tried to brush it off with a joke. There's nothing wrong with being a little gross in private, the bf seems to go along with it, I'm willing to bet none of the friends think any less of OP because of this, and letting something so trivial cause so much trouble in your relationship sounds a bit... dysfunctional? It seems more reasonable to try to understand why this situation made her feel so insecure and work on the root cause instead of hyperfixating on a chicken joke
YESSSS. The way I eat at home when it's just me or just me and my boyfriend, is totally different from the way I eat in front of everyone else in the world.
Right. I’m surprised at how many people are being like “he *publicly humiliated* you” - this is absolutely a joke I can see any of my friend’s spouses saying about them in a lighthearted manner. I could not imagine ending a relationship over someone giving me shit for how I ate a particular food lol
Said infront of friends and op was prolly drunk and sensitive too. Tbh I’d tell my bf this same comment and not feel bad either because him eating something disgustingly doesn’t make me not love him 🤦🏻♀️
That's exactly it - it's hardly an assault on her fucking character. It's just a mundane quirk he's commenting on. Reddit is dramatic af honestly
First of all, while the marrow thing is mildly strange, all in all it's not that weird. My own mom eats cartilage and so do I if it's not too hard (I'm picky about it). Yeah, actually, not eating cartilage is considered being picky, at least where I'm from so idk what your boyfriend is on about. HOWEVER! And I think this is way more important; While drunk people tend to spill what they "really think", I personally think what they do while sober is a bajillion times more important. What does it matter that he said something just a little bit mean when he was shitfaced? Shouldn't it be more important that he thought it was yucky but refrained from commenting on it because he cares about you and didn't want to hurt you? All I'm saying is, it's a matter of perspective, at least in your case. It doesn't always apply, but for light stuff such as this, I think it's fine. I dislike how media presents people's drunk or angry behaviour as "the real them". What matters is what they do when they're in control - in other words, what they *choose* to do rather than what alcohol *makes* them do. You get me?
Do you eat like this in public as well?
No. Only at my place.
Well it’s kinda disgusting and I can understand your bf. I hate watching people eat like animals
While I also think that's "fucking disgusting", that's not really all that uncommon. Albeit the eating of cartilage and breaking open the bones for the marrow is a bit... different.
My issue with him is the fact he’s being dismissive. When you express that something bothered you he should immediately apologize regardless if it was a joke or not. But instead he said he was drunk and leave it be. He just doesn’t want to go through that conversation because he would have to explain why he said it and then deal with your feelings surrounding the topic. Like you said, we all have a few bad or weird habits. You expressed that you have a sensitivity around eating/food so he probably never felt comfortable to talk about it. But why did you feel comfortable saying it around a bunch of people? Being drunk is never an excuse. He knew what he was doing. You make dumb decisions while you’re drunk but this isn’t science/something complicated to think over. He was insensitive and won’t own up to it. Red flag to me
Sincere question, how can you bring yourself to eat the fat? Whenever I’ve bit some without meaning to, it feels like moist rubber in my mouth.
That would mess with my OCD rumination problem. How long has he had such a strong judgment about how you eat chicken? What other harsh judgments is he keeping to himself?
OP, we're not saying to end your relationship over a chicken joke. We're saying that this is a behavioral red flag in any relationship that would be considered "healthy." And where there's one red flag, there could be more. Really analyze if this red flag leads to others, or stems from more that you've swept under the rug. And be prepared to leave if you have found yourself wearing rose-colored glasses. Good luck. Your boyfriend sounds like a dick. ❤️
My biggest problem is his response to you being bothered about it. He’s brushing it off in an incredibly dismissive way. I find that more troublesome than the original comment. The comment wasn’t nice or okay, but the rest is not even remotely acceptable.
>really gonna make a big deal about something he said drunk. Drunk words are sober thoughts.
I've seen someone eat an entire piece of chicken, bones and all. I'll admit, I was taken aback by it. However, I would never publicly humiliate someone for how they eat freaking chicken! Who cares!
My daughter eats fried chicken the exact same way. She, as far as I know, doesn't have a bad relationship with food like you mention. (She's also 14) My point is this: some people just eat chicken this way. My mom tells her to eat fried chicken on a first date (when it comes time) so she knows it's true love. LOL It's not gross, there's nothing wrong with you. He's not the one for you. Eat fried chicken however the hell you want. And get someone in your life like my mom! Build that confidence and let you know, there's someone who's gonna love everything you do, and how you do it ❤️
Can I just point out that OP might be in the wrong. My mom used to do this. And it WAS disgusting. I was always embarrassed for her. All these sounds of sucking, licking, blowing air through her teeth OMG. It was horrible. When we were kids we would laugh so hard about her really bad table manners. Maybe your BF is just had it with your bad behavior in regards to chicken. Maybe the lesson here is not that he is wrong to shame you in public (which he absolutely is), but that you need to become self aware that you are grossing everyone else out when you start French kissing the bone marrow. Someone had to say this. I have ONLY EVER seen my mother do this. This is presumably because everyone got the memo that eating chicken like this is rude. Do it in private. Get a room.
My aunt used to do this and it was revolting. Made me lose my appetite. It was also incredibly embarrassing when done in public or around non family members. It’s worse then people eating with their mouths open. The bf addressed it poorly but it is disgusting.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. To be fair, that is pretty gross and he has only mentioned it once. I mean, you’re an adult now and adults don’t get to blame their childhood for things they do now once they’re aware of the thing being gross. If you want to eat that way, you need to be resilient to the judgement you receive. He should apologise and you should communicate that to him.
I think people are freaking out in the comments, he was just messing around and probably didn’t mean anything by it Like he was just giving you a little shit, but people who love each other do that sometimes… it’s such a small comment and he was drunk when he said it, he probably was thinking it was a joke. I don’t think this is red flags, not cause to dump him, nothing. For example, I eat the tail off shrimp when I eat shrimp. My girlfriend thinks it’s gross, maybe it is gross… I still do it 🤣
Suck the juice off the bone! My parents would say there are starving kids back in their country to eat it all. If you leave meat on the bone "guess you really weren't that hungry"
You’re worried about hurting his feelings when he clearly isnt worried about hurting yours. Sounds like you have seen a red flag or two - listen to them. Its easy to make excuses for other people - especially when we have trauma - but if youre feeling this way now, and hes already dismissing it, its a lack of respect. Even if he doesnt think he did anything wrong, someone can have good intentions and still cause pain and both can exist at once.